Nine Years Gone
by literallyliterati
Summary: Sorta AU post-finale Gilmore Girls. Lorelai has big news to share with her daughter and it's only natural her husband's nephew knows too right? Its so much more than just this summary. Lit fic, set in 2015.
1. Chapter 1

Rory raced to reach the phone as fast as she could. She had been in the shower when she heard the ringing start and desperately hoped she wouldn't miss whoever was calling.

The beep of the answer machine sounded just as she reached it. "Damn it!" she groaned.

"Hey, one and only daughter!" Lorelai's voice said after Rory relayed how she wasn't in and was sorry to miss your call. "I have fantastic news to share with you! You will pay sorely for not being here -"

"Mom?" Rory cut her off, lifting the phone.

"Rory!" She exclaimed. "I thought I missed you!"

"No, you didn't," the younger girl laughed slightly. "I was taking a shower. Its been a long, exhausting day."

"Well, maybe you don't want to hear my fantastic news then..." Lorelai mused. "I can call back later."

Rory smiled. "Mom, tell me now. I'm never too tired for you."

"Aww, kiddo," Lorelai smiled. "Right back at ya."

"What's your news?" Rory asked anxiously. The last time she got a phone call this late at night from her mom, she had a little brother eight months later. Something clicked in her head at the memory. "Mom...are you...? Is this like last time you called me at 10 pm?"

Lorelai beamed. "Maybe."

"Mom!" Rory shouted. It wasn't an angry shout but this time it was excited.

"Okay, okay, geez," lorelai laughed. "I'm pregnant, kid! I just found out tonight! Luke told me I had been too tired for my usual self and when I wasn't in the mood for coffee this morning, he knew something was off."

"Oh my gosh, mom!" Rory jumped up. "That is amazing! How far are you?"

"A lady never gets impregnated and tells, my dear," the older woman laughed. "But honestly, I don't know. I made an appointment with my doctor and am going in two days."

"A baby," Rory sighed. "I know how much you and Luke wanted another one, mom. This is amazing. Really. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, kiddo," Lorelai smiled. "You know. This one could be a girl. You won't be my only female loin fruit anymore maybe."

"Gross, mom," Rory laughed.

"I'm pregnant, what can I say?" She laughed. "Wow. I'm pregnant. Again."

"Are you excited?"

"I'm over the moon, babe."

Rory smiled bigger. "How's like doing?"

"He's trying to see if we can fit a crib in Evan's room," Lorelai replied. "Maybe when we did the add-on, we should have added another bedroom."

"Because you expected more kids than evan?" She laughed.

"Well, now this one might figure out what a surprise it is!"

"You've been trying for months, mom. Its not that unexpected."

"I didn't say unexpected," Lorelai corrected. "I said surprise. Two different things."

Rory laughed again. "Congratulations. Really, mom. This is fantastic news."

"Didn't I tell you it was?"

"Yes!" She smiled at her mom through the phone. "Do you need anything?"

"Not yet, no," Lorelai told her. "But Luke talked to Jess and surprise, surprise, he's gonna come down here and help get some stuff ready."

Jess? Rory asked herself. "That's good," she swallowed hard. "When's he coming?"

"Uh, later this month, maybe?" She answered. "Luke wanted to take the crib stuff out and move Evan's room around but he'd have to close work so Jess offered to help."

"That was really nice of him," Rory nodded.

"Anyway, I got to get going, babe," Lorelai told her. "Luke looks mad I'm taking this long on the phone."

"You'd think your husband knew how long you take on a phone call by now," she laughed.

Lorelai joined in. "I guess he's still learning after all this time."

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Rory had congratulated her mother again before doing so and got a very happy thank you in response.

But there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach but she had no idea why. Her mother was pregnant again and she couldn't be happier for her. The doctor had told her chances were low of conceiving at her age but her and Luke tried anyway. Rory was glad they didn't give up because she knew her mother wanted another baby with Luke.

Her mind went through the end of the conversation again and her heart thudded. Jess. Her mom had mentioned jess would be coming back to Stars Hollow this month. Rory hadn't seen Jess since Evan's last birthday, eight months ago. Evan had just turned five and he was very excited at Jess' present. Of course he spoils the kid with toys.

Over the years, she'd still barely seen him. There was some Thanksgivings, a Christmas here and there, Evan related events and of course, her mother and his uncle's wedding six years earlier.

...

 _Rory had seen him when he first came outside to the town square for the wedding. She hasn't seen Jess the day before when he arrived to her hometown but when he walked towards the gazebo, it was as if time stopped. She had felt like the same seventeen year old girl sitting in her room at her desk who turned around to see a dark-haired boy for the first time._

 _He talked to Luke and his mother, holding his baby sister, Doula at times even. She laughed when he tried to escape his stepfather, TJ. During the ceremony, he stood beside Luke as his best man at the railing of the place her mom and Luke first celebrated their engagement and she smiled at him. He didn't smile back._

 _She had wanted to talk to him all day. It was the first time Rory had seen Jess since that disaterious open house at Truncheon. He had never reached out to her after that night and she had never either, despite telling her mother they were friends at Lane's wedding._

 _Finally, he was sitting alone at the table and she took that as a sign they can finally talk. Rory sat down beside him, in TJ's chair, and smiled._

 _"Hi," she started with and silently cursed herself because that's how she started off their first conversation in two years._

 _"Hey," he said turning to her. She noticed there was still no trace of a smile but she was determined to not let that hurt her._

 _"Fancy seeing you here," she said. "You know, I was hoping we could catch up at some point."_

 _"Huh," he nodded._

 _"Still so monosyllabic?" She teased._

 _"Sometimes," he let out a smirk. "The verbal thing comes and goes."_

 _She laughed. "Funny. I remember hearing that before."_

 _"Its a well-known fact," he smirked bigger. "So what brings you here?"_

 _"My mom got married," she said sarcastically. "To your uncle. Of course."_

 _Jess chuckled. "I know that. Obviously. I mean, brings you to me."_

 _"Oh," her smile faltered. "I wanted to talk to you."_

 _"You could pick up a phone," he told her._

 _"So could you," she countered._

 _"Maybe I didn't want to talk," Jess answered as he took a sip of his drink._

 _Rory nodded. "I'm sorry."_

 _Jess shook his head. "Water under the bridge, Ror."_

 _"Is it?" She asked._

 _He blew out air and sighed. "I don't know."_

 _Rory nodded again. "Jess..."_

 _He shook his head again, mirrored their actions from seconds earlier. "Maybe we didn't start this reunion right."_

 _"Huh?" She asked._

 _"Now who's monosyllabic?" He smirked at her. "Let's start over."_

 _"Okay," she pretended to get up and sit back down again. "Jess! Hi! Its so good to see you!"_

 _"Wow, Rory, you look gorgeous!" He told her._

 _She laughed. "You don't look so bad yourself there, Mr. Mariano."_

 _He almost blushed but held it back. "Its only because Luke suggested the suit."_

 _"I don't think its the suit," she smiled at him._

 _"I don't think it's the dress either," he smiled back._

 _"Thanks," she actually did blush. "How's work?"_

 _"Work is...work," he told her. "We're getting more authors involved and the place is definitely doing better."_

 _"Considering how well it was when I saw it, that's big," she laughed. "Have you written anything new?"_

 _"Actually I have," Jess told her. "Its actually supposed to be getting published soon."_

 _"That's amazing, Jess!" She beamed and hugged him. He hugged her back but after a few seconds, it felt awkward and she let him go. "I'll be sure to look for it."_

 _"I'll send you a copy," he smiled._

 _"Thanks, Jess," she said and remembered the last time she told him that when she left truncheon that night._

 _They fell into an easy conversation about books and what they'd be been reading or rereading lately when jess noticed her ring. Rory's hand had been hidden on her leg most of the conversation and now he understood why._

 _"Logan?" He nodded towards the ring, calling him his real name to not upset Rory._

 _"Yeah," she nodded. "Two years now."_

 _"Wow." It was all he could think of to say._

 _"I sent you an invitation," she said._

 _"I got it," he told her and took another sip of his drink. There needed to be something stronger than champagne if he was going to have this conversation._

 _She nodded. "Just didn't want to come?"_

 _"Not really, no," he answered._

 _Rory just kept nodding. "We're happy."_

 _"That's great," he said, not meaning it but knowing he wants Rory happy more than anything._

 _"Liar," she smirked._

 _He looked her straight in the eyes and smirked back. "Maybe."_

 _"He's gotten so much better, jess," she said. Rory wasn't sure why she felt the need to make excuses or defend her husband to him but she did it anyway._

 _"Okay," he nodded. "Really, Rory. I'm glad you're happy. Even if its with him. I just want you to be happy."_

 _"I am," she smiled heartily. "I want you to be happy, too, you know."_

 _"Eh, I manage," he joked._

 _"Jess."_

 _"I'm good, ror," he said. "Don't worry about me."_

 _"Okay," she gave up._

 _Right then, jess' mother, Liz, had come towards them and holding a four year old Doula's hand. "Can you watch her for me, Jess? I have to go to the ladies room and I have no idea where TJ is right now."_

 _"Sure," he said. Jess' face instantly brightened when he looked at his little sister._

 _"Thanks," Liz said as she walked off._

 _"I bet he's admiring the whole town and wondering what he can improve," he laughed._

 _Rory laughed. She didn't know TJ well but she knew Luke wasn't too close with him despite what TJ thought._

 _"Dance with me!" Doula told Jess._

 _"Right now?" He teased._

 _"Yes!" The little girl excitedly answered. She held onto his hand and pulled him from his seat. He'd never admit but he let her pull him._

 _"I guess I'm dancing," he told Rory._

 _Rory watched as he went out on the dance floor or what was supposed to be a dance floor and danced with his half-sister. She smiled at the sight and at her mom in her wedding dress dancing with Luke._

 _That was the last time she saw Jess for over a year._

...

Rory got dressed in her pajamas after the phone call with her mother and sat down on her couch. Her mom had given her the old, lumpy couch her grandmother had disliked so much from their house when she moved into her new place. She was grateful for it. It made her feel more at home than adjusting to somewhere new had felt the past two times.

She flipped through the channels before sighing and looking through her contacts in her android. Right there in the J category was Jess. Rory wasn't sure why she never called him even though she had his number right there. Maybe she was scared he wouldn't want to talk to her. Maybe she just wouldn't know what to say.

Letting her fingers hit dial, she held the phone to her ear. She listened to the rings until finally, there was his voice.

"Hello?" Jess asked.

Rory didn't say anything. Why had she called after all this time? She felt her stupid decision weighing on her.

Just as she was about to hang up after another hello was asked, she heard a different word. A name. "Rory?"

Rory sighed, closing her eyes. "Yeah, its me."

"Hey." He sounded surprised.

"Hey," she said back.

"This feels familiar," he said. Rory could just see the smirk on his face as he said it.

"I almost hung up," she sighed.

"Why didn't you?" He asked.

"I'm not sure," she confided. "I'm not even sure why I called."

She could have sworn he'd be nodding right now. "Is it because of your mom?"

"Maybe," she told him. "She told me you'd be coming by."

"Yeah, I thought Luke could use a hand," he replied.

"That was nice," she smiled. "I'm sure he really appreciates it."

"Rory." He said, serious. "How are you?"

"I'm..." She sighed. How could she say it? He probably knows anyway. "I'm divorced now."

"Oh," he said. Just the one word and it killed her. What she would give to know his thoughts. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not," she half-smiled.

"Yeah, I am," he told her. "I dont like if you're sad. You deserve to be happy."

"You deserve it, too," She smiled a real smile now, glad he couldn't see her and also not wanting to mention he was who she had once been sad over.

"I was actually in the middle of writing something right now..."

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "I'm sorry! I'm interrupting."

"Its fine," he said. "I should get back to it. Got a deadline."

"Okay," she said sadly.

"Bye, Rory," he told her and they both hung up.

"Bye, Dodger," she said to herself, wondering if she'd just made a stupid mistake.

 **A/N: so what do you think? I have very big plans for this one so I hope people like this and stick around! Plus there will be flashbacks throughout the story so you can get glimpses into the eight years between the finale and 2015 :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: thank you so so much for the reviews already! You have no idea how happy it makes me that within hours after posting chapter one, I was already getting some! As a present, I have chapter two just days later so I hope you all like this one too and there's lots more to come!**

"Finally!" Chris shouted when Jess walked into Truncheon books. "I thought you not living here was supposed to be a good thing but instead it just makes you late."

"Sorry about that," Jess smirked. "I overslept."

"Which wouldn't have been a problem if you still lived upstairs," Chris finished.

Jess shook his head. "I can't stay up there forever."

"Just until you stopped working for us?" Chris asked.

Jess laughed, clapping his friend and coworker on the shoulder. "Again, sorry."

He went to go get a cup of coffee and his friend followed. "What kept you up? Jen?"

Shaking his head and sipping his coffee, Jess sighed. "Nope."

"A girl though?" Chris kept going.

He shrugged. "No. My uncle called late last night with news. That's all."

Chris got excited. "Is he gonna bring the baby by? The kid is cute."

"He's not a baby anymore, Chris," Jess laughed. "He's five."

"Still a baby."

Jess was about to reply to Chris' grumblings when Matt walked down the stairs, surprised as Chris to finally see Jess there.

"Hey, man," Matt greeted. "Chris being a hassle?"

"Always," Jess smirked.

"I'm right here!" Chris exclaimed.

"We know," Matt and Jess said together.

Chris grumbled off to the back of the store. "I need a better job."

"How's the new writing coming?" Matt asked Jess.

Jess shrugged. "Its not, to be honest."

"You said you were working on something," his friend told him. "Your past books have been selling so well."

"Maybe I want it live up to the expectation," Jess joked then turned serious. "I feel stuck. Everytime I sit down and try to write, nothing of substance comes out."

Matt nodded. "I get it. I mean, not really, I'm not a writer myself but I can try to."

"It's not as easy after three books, I guess," Jess said.

"Well, we can't all be Hemingway," Matt teased.

"Oh, not you too," Jess groaned. "I've had too many conversations like this before."

"You've spoken to people who don't think Hemingway is the greatest author?" Matt held his hand over heart in surprise.

"Dated someone, actually," he smirked at the thought of a certain blue-eyed brunette.

"Color me stunned," his friend chuckled. "The girl must have been something if you dated her while knowing of her Hemingway dislike then."

Jess looked down at his feet. "She certainly was something."

"Now I must ask who it was," Matt smirked. Jess finished his coffee and said nothing more but he took the hint. "Oh, it's her, isn't it? The one that got away?"

"Don't know who you're talking about," Jess replied as he walked away.

"Of course you do!" Matt followed. "It is her! She's the one who was here for the open night all those years ago!"

Jess shook his head again. "I'm not talking about that."

"Just give me a yes or a no," he pleaded. "Tell me if it was her. I don't even need a name though I'm sure it will come to me if I think hard enough."

"Fine," Jess groaned. "It was her. You happy?"

"Ecstatic," Matt answered. "But you're still not off the hook about a new book."

"I know, I know," he sighed.

Matt laughed as he walked away too, seeing a woman walk in. Jess looked over and saw it was Drea, who had been working with them for over two years now. She and Chris had gone out a few times but it didn't work out and they remained friends.

Drea greeted Jess as she passed and he nodded a hello at her. Jess decided while it was quiet right now at work, he would try to get some writing done. He pulled out his laptop put of his bag and sat in one of the seats.

The cursor blinked at him in a mocking tone. Everytime he tried to put a thought into writing, his mind went back to last night. Ever since Rory had called him, he couldn't get her out of his mind. He had hoped it meant maybe writing could happen just like she had helped with The Subsect but nothing did.

He was just stuck with thought of her and what she had told him. One particular day came to mind, over five years ago.

...

 _The elevator chimed to tell Jess he had arrived on the right floor. Luke had called him franticly, telling him Lorelai was in labor and he didn't know what to do. Jess had calmed him down enough to stop screaming and told him he would come down._

 _But now as he got off the elevator, he remembered why this was a bad idea. The waiting room wasn't too far from where he stood and right there where he could see them, stood the two people he didn't want to see together. Rory was pacing back and forth over the same part of the floor while Logan talked to her. Jess didn't hear them yet but his mind went right to he was being a jerk. He figured that wasn't fair because the two were married now but he couldn't make himself not think it._

 _He took a deep breath and walked forward. Seeing more of the waiting area, he saw his mom was also there with Doula. There was no TJ to be found but he preferred dealing with him to Rory's husband._

 _Liz shot up in her seat when her son approached. Both Rory and Logan looked over at him, neither wearing a readable expression. Jess hugged his mother and little sister._

 _"Where's Luke?" He asked his mom._

 _"He's in the delivery room with Lorelai," she answered. "He got too anxious sitting out here before she asked for him anyway."_

 _"How is everything?" He asked, trying to think of appropriate things to say. "With the baby?"_

 _"They're not saying anything," Liz told him. "And its been five hours."_

 _"That's good right?" Jess questioned. "I thought most labors can take really long."_

 _"They can," she agreed. "But I wish they'd say something."_

 _He was about to turn to Rory and ask of she could find out anything since it was her mother in there, after all. But when he turned around and looked at her, words got stuck in his throat. Jess was glad Logan wasn't looking at him just then._

 _Rory noticed though. "Hey."_

 _"Hey," he awkwardly said back to her._

 _Logan now was watching them, probably remembering the one and only time they met before years earlier. Rory didn't pay attention to him and walked forward, hugging Jess. "It's good you're here. Luke will be glad to see you."_

 _"Maybe," he smirked as he hugged her back then let go just as soon, nodding at her husband. "Logan."_

 _"Jess," he nodded back._

 _Liz came baside her son, her daughter hanging onto her leg. "I didn't know you had met yet. You haven't really been home for holidays much, Jess."_

 _"Busy," he replied simply._

 _"Too busy for your family?" she asked._

 _"I have a business, Liz," Jess replied, smiling. "The place would fall apart without me."_

 _"Sure," she agreed, smiling back._

 _"We actually met some time ago," Logan added, saving Jess from his mother's questions whether he knew it or not._

 _Liz looked between the two of them. "Really? When was that?"_

 _Rory stepped in. "It was right before I came back to Yale."_

 _"When your book came out!" Liz gasped. "I must have so many copies of it by now."_

 _Jess almost blushed and was grateful to see Luke come down the hall. The five of them all looked to him as he walked straight to them._

 _"What's happening?" Rory was the first to ask. Her worry for her mother written all all over her face._

 _"I have a son," Luke happily told everyone._

 _"Oh my god," Liz exclaimed. "I'm an aunt again!"_

 _"Congratulations, Uncle Luke," Jess told him and gave his uncle a hug._

 _"Thanks, Jess," Luke told him. "I'm glad you got here in time."_

 _"Me too," he told him._

 _Rory hugged Luke next, saying how excited she was he and her mom had a kid of their own now. "When can we see him?"_

 _"I'm not sure," Luke answered. "In fact, I should be heading back. Your mom would kill me if I'm gone too long."_

 _"Of course," Rory laughed._

 _Luke waved to everyone and raced back to his wife's room. They all let out a sigh of relief as they relaxed and went to sit down. Jess sat down by his mother and sister while Rory and Logan sat next to each other by the other wall. He tried to ignore Rory leaning her head on her husband and closing her eyes. Logan's arm was around her and rubbing her arms. Jess looked at his little sister's drawing she was working on to distract him._

...

Seeing Logan that day had brought up everything for him. When they met outside her grandparents' house, his words in the bar, Rory defending him outside. Worst of it all was that night at Truncheon and believing Rory had fixed everything only to hear not only was she still with Logan but he had cheated on her.

Hearing her say she loved him despite all the bad he'd done was a sharp knife to his heart. Jess knew he wasn't the best boyfriend in the world, definitely not to her, but he had never cheated on her or done whatever else bad she included in her words. And yet he still only got "I think I may have loved you." He felt the years old knife twist again.

Suddenly, thinking of that horrible open house, seeing them together at the hospital and her words inspired him. Jess started typing and typing, the words flying out of his mind. He only stopped when Chris came up to him and told him a customer wanted to personally talk to him about his books.

...

Rory unlocked the door to her mother's house and stepped right in."Mom? Are you home?"

"Rory?" She heard her mother yell from upstairs.

"What other person calls you mom that has a female voice?" She rolled her eyes, laughing as she took her jacket off.

Lorelai appeared at the stairs. "Well, Evan has been doing some pretty good impersonation skills lately."

Rory nodded, smiling. "Sure he is."

"Not that I'm not happy to see you," her mother started, a huge smile on her face. "But what are you doing here?"

"My mother calls me at ten pm to tell me she's having another baby and I can't come over to see her?"

Lorelai's smile got even bigger. "Having another baby. I love how it sounds."

"Wait until you call me at one am to say you hate your child and wish you never got pregnant because they're screaming," Rory pointed out.

"Hey," Lorelai pouted. "No raining on my parade!"

"When you get a parade, I'll be sure to be more sunny," Rory laughed.

"I'm having another baby," Lorelai sighed happily.

"I know," Rory agreed. They went to sit down on the couch. "It's so exciting."

"And scary," her mom chuckled. "The doctors weren't sure I could."

"But you did," Rory pointed out. "You and Luke get to have another child."

"Kid, I'm so happy," she smiled at her daughter. "I've never been happier."

"I'm so glad for you, Mom," the younger woman told her.

"Not that I'm trying to speed it up," Lorelai spoke. "But have you ever thought about kids? Getting married again?"

"Mom," Rory breathed out a laugh. "Being single again still feels new. I barely had time to adjust to my new apartment let alone pick a new husband."

Lorelai put her hands up in surrender. "Got it. But, kid, you know I just want you happy, you know that?"

"I am happy, Mom," she told her, smiling. "Really. I have my dream job, I have a great place to live, I'm gonna be a big sister again. Everything is great."

"Okay," she nodded. "Do you want to help me drive Luke crazy and come up with crazy names for the new baby?"

Rory laughed, nodding as her mother pulled put the book of baby names.

...

When Rory was done visiting her mom, she went to stop by Lane's. The door opened as soon as she knocked, Rory was happily surprised to see a eight year old boy in front of her.

"Kwan!" Rory exclaimed. "How are you?"

"Aunt Rory!" The little boy yelled as he went to hug her.

"I've missed you!" Rory told him as she pulled away from the hug.

"Me too!" He told her. "Mom will be excited to see you."

Rory smiled. "Is your mom here?"

He nodded. "She's with Steve." Then be lowered his voice. "He's in trouble."

"What'd he do?"

Kwan zipped his lips to not tattle on his twin. Rory laughed just as Lane came out of her son's room and hugged her best friend.

"God, they grew up fast," Rory told her.

Lane nodded. "Believe me, I know."

They both laughed as Lane got into the latest hijinks of her boys.

...

By the end of the day, Jess had written pages and pages of words. He wasn't sure if Rory's call inspired him or just thinking of where he was when he wrote The Subsect. He remembered words coming to his mind once he got back home after that dreadful moment in her dorm room.

Matt had walked up to him as Jess was leaving for the night, a smirk on his face. "Were my eyes deceiving me or did I see you writing?"

"You saw fine," Jess said. "It wasn't that busy today and words just came to me."

"It's because of that girl, isn't it?" He asked. "I'm not pushing anything. I know you too well for that. But it's her, right?"

Jess nodded. "She called me last night. Told me some news, actually."

"And...?"

"And I don't know," Jess answered honestly. "I just started writing."

"Good," he clapped his friend on the back, smiling. "I hope the news was good?"

"Sort of," Jess chuckled.

Matt nodded. "I'm glad you wrote something, then."

"Me, too," he nodded back. "Night."

"See you tomorrow."

Jess walked to the door and opened it. "I'll try to be on time tomorrow."

"You better be."

Jess laughed and walked out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

"Luke, we need coffee and food!" Lorelai yelled as soon as she opened the door to the diner. Rory followed closely behind her, a smile on her face at her mother.

Luke came out of the kitchen and walked straight to his wife. "I'm giving you decaf."

"But -"

"No arguements," her husband told her. "Find a seat and I'll be back with your cups."

He walked away and went straight to the kitchen. Rory pouted, looking after him. "He didn't take our order."

"He'll be back," Lorelai told her. "He can't resist feeding me."

"Aha," Rory grinned.

"Aha what?" Her mother asked.

Rory smiled, looking right in her face. "After akk this time, the truth of why you married Luke comes out."

"There's that and he has these special skills in the -"

"Daughter present!" Rory shouted, covering her ears.

"I was gonna say in the construction business," Lorelai added. "Gee, who has their mind in the gutter?"

"You're just lucky Evan isn't here right now," Rory teased. "Then there'd be two of us screaming and covering our ears when you start sentences like that."

"Liz wanted some time with her nephew," Lorelai defended. "What kind of sister-in-law would I be if I took away time with his aunt and cousin?"

"A less crazy one," Luke answered as he placed the mugs down in front of them.

Lorelai grinned. "Thank you, husband of mine." Then she took a sip and made a face.

"What is it?" Luke asked her.

"Decaf," Lorelai said as if the word was a curse.

"I told you I was giving you it," Luke defended. Rory looked between the two of them, trying not to laugh.

"Yes, but, I didn't think you were serious," Lorelai said.

Luke opened his mouth to respond when Rory spoke first. "Don't bother. You know mom."

"Sadly, I do," he smiled at his wife.

"Hey!" Lorelai objected. "First decaf -" she made a face at the word then continued -"now insults? This is not as fun as it used to be."

She pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. Rory looked up at Luke. "Are you taking our orders now?"

"Yeah," Luke replied as he grabbed his paper and pencil. "What'll you have today?"

...

"How's my cousin?" Jess asked over the phone.

"He's good," Luke answered him. "He spent the day with your mom though so he might be excited."

Jess laughed. "Is being with Liz really any crazier than being with Lorelai at the point?"

"I'm not sure," his uncle said. "I have to pick him up soon, though."

"Say hi to him for me?"

"You know I will."

"How are you doing with all this, Uncle Luke?" Jess asked. "I mean, this is big. You've got to be thinking something."

"I'm good," he told him. "We both wanted another kid so I'm happy."

"How's April?" Jess asked. "Does she know she's gonna be an older sister again yet?"

"I called her right after I called you the otber night," Luke answered. "She was very happy to hear there would be a new baby around."

Jess laughed. "Getting tired of Evan already?"

Luke made a face. "I don't think that's it."

"Relax, Uncle Luke," Jess said. "I was kidding. I'm sure she loves her brother as much as she'll love the new baby."

"Thanks, Jess," Luke said. "Now what about you? You been writing?"

"I have," the younger man nodded. "Trying to at least. I got some writing do e the other night, actually."

"That's great, Jess!" Luke said happily. "Does this mean you're gonna have another bestseller on your hands?"

"None of my books are bestsellers," Jess said.

"Really?" Luke questioned. "Have you not checked the lists in the past years?"

"Not really, no," he shrugged. "We don't make too many copies, Luke. There's no ways they're on a bestseller list."

"I'm not saying its number one with the amount of copies you guys print but it's on there," the man told him.

"Maybe I'll check," Jess sighed.

"Good," Luke smiled. "I'm really proud of you, Jess. I don't tell you that enough."

"Thanks, Luke," Jess said, trying not to let on what the words mean to him.

...

 _"Everbody gather around!" Matt yelled from the front of the room. "We have a very special part of the night planned for right now."_

 _Jess hid his face and looked down at the ground. This was the part he'd been dreading. He waited for Matt to finish explaining and then finally, introduce him._

 _"And now, the unveiling of the latest book of one of our own, Mr. Jess Mariano and his third book, All the City Lights!" Matt yelled louder._

 _People all around the room clapped as Jess walked to stand beside Matt on their make-shift stage. Matt clapped him on the back and Jess stood in front of the microphone._

 _"I never really know what to say at these things," Jess laughed. Everyone else joined in. He even saw some people in the front nodding as if agreeing they wouldn't know either in his position. "But I'll say that I'm really glad you all could make it and I hope you like the new book."_

 _He stepped down from the stage and Matt rolled his eyes. "That's Jess for you," he joked._

 _Chris laughed from the other side of the stage. Jess walked up to him, half-smiling, half-glaring. "You guys don't have to make a big deal everytime I write something."_

 _"Of course, we do," he disagreed. "Our co-worker is a published writer! Me and Matt, we just try to live through other people's work."_

 _Jess definitely laughed now. "So you're living through me too?"_

 _"Just the writing," Chris answered._

 _Matt walked up to them. "Jess, there's a guy here who's looking for you. There's a girl with him, too. Says he knows you."_

 _"Finally," Jess grinned as he started to walk away. "A good excuse to get away from you two."_

 _"Hardy-har-har," Chris laughed._

 _Jess walked away and instantly found who he assumed the man and the girl was. "Now this feels like déjà vu."_

 _Luke turned around and looked at his nephew, remembering that first open house. "It does a bit. Sorry I didn't make the last one."_

 _"That's okay," Jess told him. "You were a little busy with your wife having a child and all."_

 _April laughed. "Dad did have a very good excuse that time. Hi, big cousin."_

 _"Hey, little cousin," Jess smirked at her then hugged her. "I haven't seen you since your graduation."_

 _"I wasn't sure I was going to make it," she told him. "My classes have been crazy but I knew I wanted to come."_

 _"How is Princeton, by the way?" Jess asked her._

 _"It's amazing," she gushed. "I could probably go on and on about all the great things about there. I know its only been a few months but I love it there."_

 _"That's good," Jess said then smirked. "Uncle Luke, what's it like having a daughter who's in college?"_

 _Luke grimaced. "I'm still in denial over it. She's still that kid I met with the helmet in my mind."_

 _"Oh, gosh, the helmet," April groaned. "I haven't worn that in forever."_

 _"It can't have been that bad," Jess said._

 _"Maybe," April said. "Can I look around? You guys always release such good books and there's nowhere else to get them."_

 _"Sure," he agreed. She started to walk away but he added in before she left. "Stay away from my co-workers!"_

 _April laughed, turning back to her father and cousin before disappearing into the crowd. Luke turned back to Jess, no longer smiling. "Do I need to worry about them?"_

 _"Nah," Jess shook his head. "They're mostly harmless. Besides, Chris has a girlfriend and Matt is...Matt."_

 _"How comforting," Luke mused. They started walking around and stopped in front of his second book, Directly Darkly. "I really liked this one."_

 _"You did?" Luke nodded. "I don't know if I like it too much anymore."_

 _"How come?"_

 _"I was in a dark place when I wrote it," he said, remembering what he had recieved in the middle of writing it._

 _Luke nudged him. "If I remember right, you said the same thing about The Subsect."_

 _"What can I say?" Jess joked. "I'm always in a dark place."_

 _Luke smiled at his nephew. He had missed him though he'd never admit it. "Is Rory here?"_

 _Jess looked at him in surprise. "What?"_

 _"She was here the other time I came," Luke answered. "I figured maybe she would be here again..."_

 _Jess was shaking his head. "No. She's not here."_

 _"Busy?"_

 _"I don't know."_

 _"Jess?"_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"Did something happen...betweem you two?" Luke asked, almost wincing. They had never really discussed him and rory much after high school._

 _"No," Jess answered. He grabbed a beer from the cooler that was out. "Nothing happened."_

 _"You two seemed friendly the other time I was here," Luke pushed. "Now you two barely speak."_

 _"Being friends doesn't work with us," Jess said as he took a drink._

 _Luke said. "You were friends before."_

 _"Barely," Jess smirked. "It's too complicated."_

...

Rory woke up groggy. She didn't know why she felt so tired then she rolled over and fell to the ground. Rory looked around and found she was in her mother's living room.

She sighed, remembering why she was there. Last night was her second night in Stars Hollow since coming back for her mom's news. The first night Luke had offered his apartment for her to stay in. Rory had accepted, grateful for somewhere to stay since Evan now had her room.

...

 _Rory put her bags down in the room as Luke walked her in. "Thanks so much, Luke," she told him._

 _"Its nothing," he shrugged at his step-daughter. "You know where everything is. Bathroom, kitchen, beds."_

 _Rory nodded, smiling. "Yes, I know. Luke, I'll be fine."_

 _"You never stayed here before," he pointed out._

 _"I know," she smiled still. "Don't worry about it."_

 _"We would have gotten a place ready for you if we knew," he apologized._

 _"This is fine," she nodded. "Really. I don't mind."_

 _"Okay," he nodded back. "Call if you need anything, all right?"_

 _"I will," she agreed._

 _Luke walked out of the apartment with a wave and she turned and looked into the big room. Rory remembered back when it was smaller and then to when it was bigger. She had more memories post construction than preconstruction. Sighing, she walked around and saw Luke's bed and almost shivered at the thought of staying there. She loved Luke but she didn't think she could handle staying in the bed her mother had been in with him._

 _Walking to the other side of the apartment, she stopped short. Jess' bed. Well not anymore it wasn't but back when she used to frequently come up here, it had been. Now it was April's bed when she visited._

 _When it came too late to not sleep any longer, she crawled into the bed she refuses to think of as Jess' and snuggled herself in. At first she could think of nothing but him falling asleep in this exact spot then her thoughts turned to falling asleep with him here. That shot her right up._

 _Rory grabbed the blankets and the pillow and went to lay down on the couch. Of course, that definitely brought back memories since they had for sure been on there together. She groaned, mumering to herself. "Why am I thinking about Jess?"_

 _Instead of staying on the couch, she went back to the bed and put headphones on and went right to sleep._

 _The next morning, she went right to her mom and told her she couldn't stay up there again. Lorelai asked why but Rory just said it was nothing against the apartment, its a great apartment. Again, Lorelai asked then what's wrong and all Rory could say was "I just can't stay up there." Lorelai nodded, a sort of grin on her face and said okay._

...

Evan jumped on top of Rory before she managed to climb off of the couch. She laughed at her little brother. "Evan!"

"Rory!" He shouted, hugging his sister. "Did you have a sleepover?"

"Kind of," she smiled. "I wanted time with you and Mom!"

He smiled at her. "Me?"

"Of course, you, silly," she pulled away from him and looked at his light brown hair and blue eyes. She was glad to see their trademark eyes had passed down to her little brother. "I don't see you enough, Mister!"

Rory started tickling him and Evan couldn't stop laughing. Lorelai came downstairs to see her two kids - she refused to call Rory an adult even at her age - playing together. It took a moment for her to come down because she loved what she saw.

"Evan, what are you doing to your sister?" She teased her son.

"She started it!" He exclaimed, pointing at Rory.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Lorelai laughed at them. "How about we get ready for breakfast? Evan, you want to go see Daddy?"

"Yes!" He yelled. Rory laughed now too as he jumped off of her and raced to his room.

"He loves going to the diner as much as I ever did," her mother said once her son was out of the room.

"Yeah he does," Rory agreed. "And both of you go just for the owner."

"Hey!" Lorelai gasped. "There's coffee and pie, too!"

"Right, I forgot," Rory answered.

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you're my daughter? I don't think any of my kids would forget coffee and pie."

"Sorry, the test said I'm yours," Rory shrugged.

"Rats," Lorelai groaned.

 **A/N: Again, thank you SO SO much for the reviews! It means so much to get them and that people are reading, following, reviewing and most of all, liking it.**

 **I don't know how much I like this chapter but I needed those flashbacks in there and I don't want to rush too much either so I hope you all like it too :) And I wasn't sure on what a good title for any of Jess' books might be so I hope they're not too bad lol.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm sorry for all the typos in the last chapter especially! I tried to fix them but the site wasn't letting me so I just left them instead of reuploading the chapter and deleting it. I hope that's okay. Maybe I'll go back to fix it :)**

Jess tapped his pen on the table anxiously. He couldn't think of what to write next so instead of staring at the screen, he decided on old fashioned notes. Not that it helped him much because his mind was just as blank now as it had been half an hour ago.

Customers walked around Truncheon, some occasionally glanced over at him. He noticed a group of girls staring at him as they whispered to each other. Jess was curious as to why. He wasn't going to blindly assume they thought he was good-looking, especially not since they were standing in a book store that sold a book or two with his name and picture on the back.

Instead of focusing on the staring girls, he looked back to his notes. Most were illegible, some weren't as much. The one thing that really stood out was a name. Jess scribbled over the name on the paper and tried to concentrate. He wasn't finding that plan so easy.

"Excuse me?" He heard a voice say from beside him and Jess looked up to see the girl who was staring at him the most of that group.

Jess sat up straight in work mode. "What can I help you with?"

The girl smiled at him. She had red hair but it wasn't a bright red, it was lighter than those hair dye in the commercials. "Are you...are you the guy who wrote Directly Darkly? Jess Mariano?"

"Yes," he answered with a smile on his face. Jess stood up and she almost blushed.

"Oh my gosh," she said. "I'm a big fan of yours. I read all of your books and the store website said that you actually worked here so I figured there was no harm in checking. I brought my friends and we made a day out of it."

"I'm very flattered," Jess smiled again at her. "Did you want me to sign something or..."

He trailed off, unsure of what to say after asking to sign. The girl shook her head. "I was wondering if maybe I could get a picture with you?"

"Oh, sure," he agreed, coming out from behind the desk. "That's good."

The girl beamed brighter. "Oh my gosh, thank you!"

She grabbed her phone out and tapped a few buttons while Jess came to stand beside her. She held the phone out and snapped a pic with her iPhone selfie-style. His smile disappeared as soon as the camera was away and she turned to him. "This means so much."

"You're welcome," he told her and she happily walked back to her friends, smiling and showing them the pic.

"Looks like someone has fans," Chris walked up to Jess and nudged him. "She wanted a picture? Aww."

"Shut up," Jess told him and sat back down.

Chris made a face. "You can't sit down."

"Why not?" Jess asked. "I've been sitting here this whole time trying to write."

"You have fans!" Chris exclaimed in a low voice. "Wouldn't want to disappoint them."

"I do not have fans," he explained. "One fan. I had one fan."

"A really cute fan, I might add," Chris teased.

Jess groaned. "No, you may not add."

Chris put his hands in surrender. "Fine, keep sitting here, moping and writing. But beware of your mob of fangirls."

"I'll keep an eye out," Jess grinned.

Chris walked away and he sat back down, picking up the pen. Before he realized what he was doing he wrote the name he had crossed out on the page. Jess sighed, and looked back at the screen. The pages he had written were nothing if he couldn't write more. Just as he was about to give up for the moment, the phone rang.

Jess picked it up, work mode back in. "Hello?"

 _..._

 _Matt threw the mail at Jess. Jess sat up on the couch from his slouched position and shifted through the envelopes. "What's this?"_

 _"What does it look like?" Matt questioned. "Your mail still gets sent here."_

 _"But I moved out a month ago," he objected._

 _Matt nodded. "It seems the people sending you stuff do not know that."_

 _Jess started looking the mail as Matt walked up the stairs to his room. He had been planning on going home soon but sometimes he forgot he didn't live at Truncheon anymore. There was only three things in the pile. One was some bullshit on insurance he didn't have nor want; another was from California. As Jess looked at the name on the top, he recognized Lily's name. He smiled to himself and made a reminder to tell her his new home._

 _The third stopped him in his tracks. It was fancy lettering that he'd never seen on any kind of paper before. His name was written with all these swirls and curls he almost didn't recognize it. Jess assumed it was a wedding invitation for his uncle and Lorelai but when he opened it up, his stomach fell._

 _The even fancier paper on the inside told him that Rory - not her mother - was not only getting married, but to Logan, the blonde dick at Yale. He wanted to throw up. A million thoughts ran through his mind - why was she marrying him? What happened after that night she came to see him? Did she forgive Logan for cheating on her? What did Lorelai think?_

 _The last one was the one he wondered about the most however. Why did she invite him?_

 _Jess crumbled up the paper and threw it in the garbage. He wouldn't touch that wedding with a fifty foot pole. Whatever Rory's reason for inviting him even if it was just a courtesy to Luke, he wanted to know what it was. But then again, he also didn't because he tried too hard to bury their past to bring it back up again. And at her wedding of all things._

 _Jess tossed the envelope in the trash, too, and yelled to Matt and Chris he was leaving. He never looked back for that paper and it was gone within a matter of days when the garbage was picked up._

 _..._

Rory groaned, frustrated as she searched the kitchen. She had looked in every cabinet and could not find the one she could always rely on to be in her mother's kitchen. Lorelai walked into the room, a curious look on her face.

"What is the matter?" Lorelai asked. "You know we never cook in here so what could you possibly be looking for?"

Rory gave her mom a look then crossed her arms. "You have no pop tarts!"

Lorelai burst out laughing. "That's what all the groaning is for?"

"Like you wouldn't," Rory pouted, challenging.

"Luke tries to ban sugar from me," Lorelai explained. "Especially now. So that's why I keep the good stuff hidden."

"What?" Rory asked.

Lorelai walked to a cabinet, opened it, and moved a shelf out of the way. She turned back to Rory holding a 6-pack box of strawberry pop tarts. "Hidden, see?"

Rory gasped in happiness. "Thank god!"

She took the box from her mother and sat at the table, grinning as she ripped open the wrapping. Lorelai sat across from her. "I made sure to have some secret spots when we added onto the kitchen."

"I'm so glad," Rory mumbled with a full mouth.

"Eat first, talk later," Lorelai instructed.

Rory glared at her as she swallowed. "Who are you and what have you done with my mother?"

She shrugged. "She's expecting a baby and trying not to drive her husband crazy with the things she eats he doesn't approve of."

"By hiding them," Rory added.

Lorelai nodded, smiling. "Now you get it!"

Rory nodded with a shrug and kept eating her pop tart. She moved onto the second one in the package within seconds it seemed like.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you devour my junk food," Lorelai started. "But can't you buy your own pop tarts if you wanted them? You're...old enough to buy food."

Rory laughed. "Are you afraid to say my age, Mom? Because if I'm old enough to buy pop tarts, you're old enough to admit your daughter's age."

"Blasphemy!" The older woman exclaimed. "A lady never tells her age."

"Or her daughter's apparently," Rory laughed.

"Hush or I'll take away your food," she warned.

Rory hugged the last bits of the second piece to her. "I'll be quiet."

When Rory finished, Lorelai smiled wide at her. The younger girl was suspicious but ignored her mother just to drive her crazy. As crazy as she would be if Rory had done that same look to her.

She threw out her wrapper and went to hide the box back in its secret spot. But when she went to sit down, her mother's expression was still the same. "Okay. I give up. Why are you grinning like the Chester cat?"

"Because I have news to tell you," Lorelai replied.

"Bigger than a baby?" Rory asked. "Is it twins?!"

"No, not twins," she laughed at the thought of two more babies. "Its not bigger but it does involve bigger."

Rory made a face. "What does that mean?"

"Remember how I told you I wished we expanded more?" Lorelai asked her daughter.

Rory nodded. "And Luke is letting you?"

Now Lorelai nodded excitedly. "He told me we can start as soon as possible!"

"Uh-huh," Rory processed. "Don't you have to move out while they add on?"

"Probably," her mother groaned. "I didn't think of that."

"What about Sookie?"

"What about her?"

"Can't you stay with her?" Rory asked.

Lorelai chuckled. "Sweetie, did you forget about the apartment above the diner?"

Rory almost blushed. Of course she hasn't. She never could, no matter how much she tried to. "You and Luke and evan would all stay there?"

"That's the idea, yes," she answered. "Unless you don't like it. Luke said we could start making arrangements today if I wanted to and I really want it done before I'm fat."

"Because that's the priority," Rory teased.

"Of course!" Lorelai told her. "But, really, hun. Is that okay? Because you're here now and I wouldn't want to put you out."

"You wouldn't," Rory shook her head. "I actually shouldn't be far from work too long anyway. Maybe I should go home soon."

"I take it back!" Lorelai shouted. "Don't leave me!"

Rory laughed. "Mom."

Lorelai grabbed her arm. "You can't leave your poor mother!"

"Tell you what," Rory offered. "I'll leave this weekend. So you get a few more days with me. But I do have to call work."

"Yes!" Lorelai raised her arm above her head in triumph. "A few days is better than leaving now."

"But I'm still staying here for now, right?" Rory asked her mother. Lorelai just gave an amused look in return.

...

The next morning, Rory to the diner alone since her mother was having morning sickness signs. She approached the door slowly, preparing to tell her stepfather her mom was at home still. She wasn't sure if she should admit why since the town all didn't know...yet.

The door chimed when she walked in and she went right to the counter and sat down. Luke came beside her and handed her coffee. "Mom's not coming?"

"Not this morning," she shook her head. "She's...under the weather."

Luke nodded. "Does she need me to go home? Being Evan in?"

"Not necessary," she told him. "Liz has Evan right now. And mom probably prefers you not see her...sick."

"I've seen her...sick before," Luke followed with her words. He knew his wife hadn't told anyone outside the family quite yet. Her mother didn't even know.

Rory sipped her coffee. "I didn't know. You took care of her...when she was sick?"

"You thought I wouldn't?" He asked her. "Of course I did."

"I'm glad she has you," Rory smiled.

Luke almost blushed and changed the subject instead. "What can I get you? Another cup of coffee and...?"

"Pancakes and a burger?" She asked.

"For breakfast?"

She nodded.

He shook his head, dazed. "Why did I even ask?"

She laughed at his mumblings as he walked away into the kitchen. Rory kept drinking her coffee, listening to the chatter she had missed from being away from Stars Hollow so long. She smiled to herself, listening to Miss Patty and Babette gossip over whatever Kirk was doing this week. Apparently he and his mother were fighting because Lulu wanted a baby.

Suddenly, the chatter stopped. Rory wondered what it was and turned around in her seat, stunned into stillness when she saw a familiar pair of brown eyes and dark hair. Everyone in the diner was staring at the two of them as she observed him. He had a beard now and he had more defined muscles. He definitely looked better than even the last time she saw him just months ago.

 _..._

 _"Are we almost done with the guest list?" Logan asked Rory as she handed him the list of things her grandmother had told her to plan._

 _"Almost," she answered. She stared at the list in front of her, going over all the names. "How many do we have left?"_

 _Logan leaned over the couch and grabbed the small pile of envelopes and invitations. "Um, five."_

 _"Only five?" She let out a small laugh. "I didn't know we had that many guests."_

 _"Well, you sent one to everyone from Stars Hollow," he told her. "Despite how I told you to send one to your mother and Miss Patty. I told you she'd cover telling everyone."_

 _"I know," Rory laughed. "And believe me, you're right. She would let everyone know within an hour. But I wanted them to know I want them there. You know what I mean?"_

 _"Yes, I do," he said and kissed her cheek. "My side is gonna look so small compared to yours."_

 _"Your side will be fine," she smiled. "Colin and Finn are coming right?"_

 _"Like they would miss me getting married," Logan joked. "I think they said hell is freezing over and pigs now fly when I told them."_

 _"Well, maybe we'll release pigs instead of doves at the wedding then," she laughed._

 _Logan laughed again, kissing Rory quickly then stood up. "I'm gonna take a shower before I have to meet my dad."_

 _"Okay,", she smiled at him._

 _He pointed at her as he turned. "Finish that guest list, Ace!"_

 _She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed. Once he was gone, she stared back down at her paper full of people she loved and wanted at the wedding's names. Rory tapped her pen nervously. "Just do it."_

 _She scribbled four letters at the bottom of her guest list. It was sloppy and she doubted Logan could read it. Hell, she doubted he would even come. But she grabbed one of the invitations and wrote out the address Luke had given her on it. She pretended she didn't know it when really she did by heart. Ever since she got an invitation of her own to that exact spot._

 _As soon as she was finished, she jumped from her seat and opened the bathroom door. "Finished my guest list."_

 _Logan peaked his head out from behind the shower curtain. "You sure?"_

 _Rory nodded. "I'm sure. I was actually wondering if you had any to send because I was going to go send them now before I forget."_

 _"Mine should be with yours," he told her._

 _"Okay, good," she nodded and turned to leave the room._

 _"Hey, Ace?"_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _He gave her a look and she knew exactly what that look was. Rory walked to her fiancée and kissed him softly. Logan held her to him and deepened the kiss._

 _She broke away, laughing. "Let me go send these before it gets too late!"_

 _"Fine," he laughed in return._

 _She kissed him quick again. "I'll be right back."_

 _She shut the door behind her and walked right to the pile of envelopes. Rory made sure they all had stamps and were properly addressed than stuffed them in her hands and left the apartment._

 _Outside, Rory dumped all but one invitation into the mail box. She stared at her own writing as of she could burn a hole in the damn thing. His name - Jess Mariano - stared back at her. Finally. She took a deep breath and dumped it in with the rest of them, hoping she didn't just make a huge mistake._

...

He approached first, walking into the diner and out of the doorway. She stopped staring at him and smiled buy he spoke first. "Hey."

"Hey, Jess."

 **A/N: I hope no one minds Logan flashbacks lol I will say this, though, he won't be in present day so that will maybe help to know no drama coming from him ;)**

 **I hope you all still like this!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Literati reunited! I hope you like it! :)**

Jess didn't know what to say. They said the hello but he wasn't sure what was next. He dropped his bags on the floor, not thinking about how they were in the way. Babette and Miss Party looked back and forth between the two of them, wondering who would move first. It turned out it was Rory who did.

She climbed out of her seat and walked right up to him, hugging Jess to her. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, inhaling the scent of just Rory. She moved away first, feeling their audience's eyes on her. Jess gave her a small smile and picked up his bags. "I'm gonna bring these upstairs."

Rory nodded. "Okay. You'll be back?"

"Yeah," he told her. "I'll be back."

She gave him a small smile too and Jess walked up the stairs with his bags in hand. Luke returned seconds later with pancakes and a burger, placing it in front of Rory. She began eating her food and finally Luke's staring got to her.

"What?" She asked with her mouth half full. She swallowed and waited.

"I forgot to tell you Jess was coming," he replied.

"Why is he -"

Her words were cut off by the person in question returning from the upstairs apartment. "Hey, Uncle Luke."

"Jess," the older man said as he walked towards him. The two shared a hug which everyone in the diner stared, not just Rory. None of them were used to either men showing affection unless with a Gilmore girl. "The drive here was all right?"

"It was fine," Jess answered. "You remember I have a better car now than I did in high school right?"

Luke laughed a little and Babette's eyes almost popped out. Rory smiled at her shocked expression and kept watching the boys. "Yeah, I do. I have to take some orders. I'll be back."

Jess stayed in place when Luke walked to tables and jotted down orders. Rory spoke first this time. "How long as you here for?"

"A few days," he shrugged. "Luke asked me to come sooner so I did."

"Is this because of the expansion?" She asked. "My mom told me they were going to try to add a new room."

He nodded. "I think so. I'm not sure how much good I'd do helping with construction, though."

"You'll be fine," she told him, remembering how he knocked the wall out of the upper apartment before Tom started his work. Rory looked up from her meal again and looked right at him. "Are you going to stand there this whole time?"

"Maybe," Jess smirked.

She patted the seat beside her. "Sit. Ignore the staring."

Miss Patty and Babette looked away and out the window when her words came out. Jess smiled at her and sat down beside her. The first thing he noticed was her food. "Some things never change, I see."

"I like some things just the way they are," she grinned, taking a mouthful of pancake into her mouth. After she chewed and swallowed, she went on. "Other things got better with change."

She was staring at him now and he was staring back. Jess was about to say something but Luke came back towards them, shoving his notebook into his back pocket. "How's your food?"

"Great," Rory smiled at her stepfather. "I was starving."

"When are you not?" Jess smirked, back into teasing tones. She stuck out her tongue which just made him smirk bigger. "Real mature."

Luke watched them, noticing the playful tones to their conversation. He shook his head and tried to block out in the questions he was thinking of. "Jess, you want something to eat?"

"Can I get pancakes too?" He asked.

Luke smirked. "Only if you pay."

Jess put his wallet on top of the counter. "I'm set."

...

 _Emily was glaring at her soon-to-be son-in-law. Lorelai nudged her, shaking her from her disapproval. "What is it, Lorelai? Must you hit people?"_

 _"Must you glare, mother?" She asked back in her mother's tone. "I'm about to marry that guy and we're at my rehearsal dinner. Can you at least pretend to be happy for me?"_

 _"Oh, for heaven's sake," the older woman said. "I am happy for you, Lorelai."_

 _Lorelai squinted her eyes at her mother then looked over to Rory who shrugged in confusion. "Then why are your eyes shooting daggers at my fiancé?"_

 _"He invited that boy!" She shout-whispered._

 _"What boy?" Lorelai asked._

 _"The one who got Rory into the accident!" She exclaimed in her still low voice. "The one who showed up to my home with a black eye and then ran out. Why would he invite her ex- boyfriend to your wedding anyway?"_

 _Rory leaned forward, unable to keep quiet anymore. "Grandma, Jess is Luke's nephew."_

 _"Really?" Emily asked her granddaughter. "How come I didn't know of this?"_

 _"Mom, you did know of this," Lorelai answered. "We've told you this many times. Including the time you learned of Rory dating him and when the accident happened."_

 _Emily made an unimpressed face. "I don't recall that."_

 _"Of course," Lorelai sighed._

 _"Whatever is that supposed to mean?" She questioned her daughter._

 _"It means of course you forgot that," she told her. "You only remember the bad things about him."_

 _"I fail to see where him and the man you're marrying being related is a good thing," Emily remarked._

 _Rory sighed. "It is a good thing, Grandma. A very good thing, in fact."_

 _"Really?" She turned to her granddaughter. "Then why is he not here? He's the best man, for heaven's sake."_

 _"He's working," Rory answered. "He'll be here for the wedding, Luke said."_

 _"But this is the rehearsal dinner," she complained. "It needs to be perfect. If he shows up with a black eye in two days..."_

 _"He just needs to stand in front beside Luke, Mom," Lorelai said. "He's not missing much."_

 _"Fine," Emily almost huffed. Lorelai was glad no one was beside them right now._

 _"Grandma, he's changed," Rory interjected. "A lot since you met him. He wrote a book and works at a publishing house. He's doing really good."_

 _She looked at her skeptically. "Why are you so defensive of him? And where is Logan anyway? He should be here."_

 _Rory shook her head. "I'm defending him because he doesn't deserve what you think of him. And Logan is on a business trip with his father."_

 _"Will he be here in time for the wedding?" She asked, ignoring the first part about Jess._

 _"No,", Rory answered. "He's gone for the week. I tried to get him to change it but his father was very insistent they go now."_

 _"Well, all right," Emily accepted that. "Tell him to come to dinner the next time he's in town."_

 _Lorelai interrupted. "How come Logan gets that response to not being here but Jess who will be here tomorrow gets tied to the stake?"_

 _Rory looked down at the floor. She didn't like Logan not being here either but she had to admit she was glad Jess and Logan wouldn't see each other. They had only met that one horrible night and did not want a show to happen at her mother's wedding. But she had to admit, her mother's question was one she was thinking of but would never admit._

 _"Because Logan is not in the wedding party," she glared at Luke again._

 _"There's three people in the wedding parry, Mom," Lorelai reminded her. "My best friend isn't even in it."_

 _"But Logan is your son-in-law," Emily insisted. "He should have been included."_

 _"Mom..."_

 _Rory watched behind their heads and exclaimed happy. "Grandpa!"_

 _Both Lorelai and Emily turned to look at him. Emily's expression changed to a smile as she got up to see him. Lorelai leaned forward to her daughter. "Can you imagine if your husband was coming? He and Jess would get into a fight probably. Worse than him and Dean possibly."_

 _Rory shuddered, remembering that disastrous party then the night Logan and Jess met. "That would not be good."_

 _Richard walked up them with a sming Emily at his side. "Hello, Lorelai, Rory."_

 _"Hi, Dad."_

 _Rory jumped put of her seat."Hi, Grandpa. How are you?"_

 _"Very well, thank you," he answered. "And both of you? Nervous, Lorelai?"_

 _"Nah," she waved her hand in front of her. "I'm as cool as a cucumber."_

 _Richard smiled at his daughter. "That's pretty cool."_

 _Lorelai made a small shrug with a smile and Rory laughed. "How was your doctor's appointment?"_

 _"It went quite well, actually," he assured him. "I'm perfectly healthy."_

 _"That's great, Dad," Lorelai said, now standing beside her father and hugged his side._

 _Richard looked behind him at someone. "Who is Luke talking to? I don't believe I know her."_

 _The three Gilmore girls looked to where Richard was looking and Lorelai grinned. "That's his sister, Liz."_

 _Emily looked horrified. "Does that mean she's -"_

 _"Shared parents with my future husband? Yes," Lorelai replied._

 _Her mother rolled her eyes. "I meant is she that dreadful boy's mother?"_

 _"Yes," Rory groaned, not feeling in the mood to correct her. "She is Jess' mother."_

 _"Is that your writer friend?" Richard asked excitedly. "I've been wanting to meet him."_

 _"It is," Rory nodded. "He's coming tomorrow so you should get to meet him at the wedding or sometime before."_

 _"Excellant," he smiled. "I believe I heard something about him being a Hemingway fan."_

 _Lorelai laughed. Rory stiffled her own. "That he is, Grandpa."_

...

"Do you want to get out of here?" Jess asked Rory when they were both finished with their food and her third cup of coffee.

She looked at him surprised then nodded. "Where would we go?"

"Anywhere," he said. "The stares in here have only gotten worse."

Rory looked around at the even more crowded diner now. Almost everyone was here. She was a little surprised to not see Taylor now. "You have a point."

Jess stood up, putting money down for his uncle and held out his hand. "Come on."

Rory bit her lip then jumped out of her seat, attempting to put her own money down for the food. Jess held up a hand. "Don't. I paid for you, too."

She smiled at him, a silent thank you in the air then took his hand. They both shouted a goodbye to Luke and were out of the diner before he came out to see them. Jess was still holding Rory's hand as they walked across the street out of the diner. Neither of them tried to let go either.

"Now are you gonna give me a guess on where we're going?" She asked.

Jess shook his head. "Nope."

"Jess." As soon as she said his name, it felt normal. It was forever since they were like this and it was just as casual as if they were 17 again. As if no time had passed and they talked everyday.

He held her hand for just a few minutes longer, finally thinking he's holding her hand and should probably let go. She looked down at her hand without his and missed Jess holding it.

Rory followed Jess out past the usual places. Finally he walked into a brush of trees and she realized she knew their destination. She glanced over at him, her eyes shining. "The bridge?"

Jess nodded. "If there ever was someplace I liked in this crazy town, it was here."

"You mean you didn't like when we went anywhere that wasn't here?" She teased.

"That's different," he shrugged. "I was with you."

She stopped walking even as Jess moved ahead of her and reached the bridge. He turned around and saw Rory still standing in place. "You coming?"

"Yeah," Rory snapped out of her trance and started moving again. Jess sat down and let his feet dangle over the bridge's edge. She sat beside him and let the déjà vu wash over her.

"I can't believe it's still here," he said. "Wasn't there a million fundraisers to repair this or tear it down?"

"Yep," she laughed. "Something always got in the way of actually doing it so Taylor decided to just keep it as is."

"Good," he nodded. "Because I have too many memories here."

"Luke pushing you in the lake?" She laughed.

Jess nodding, making a face as he did. "That's definitely one of them."

"What else?" She asked. Rory knew exactly what memories she was thinking of but wanted to hear him say them.

"Bid a basket," he answered with a smirk. He chose one of the safer memories. "That was fun."

"You were such a jerk that day," she pointed out.

"Yet you went to get pizza with me and to the bookstore after," he accused back.

Rory smiled. "Touché."

"You know," Jess leaned closer to her and spoke in a whisper. "Ernest still only has lovely things to say about you."

Rory laughed. "You haven't changed."

As soon as she said the words, she regretted them. Jess had changed more than anyone she had ever met, even Paris who went from her enemy to one of her best friends. He looked over at her and noticed her serious expression as compared to her previous smiling one. He tried to lighten the tension. "Haven't I?"

"You have," she agreed and decided to tell him what she had been thinking seconds before. "More than anyone."

He nodded, surprised. "Really?"

"Really." She answered. "I always knew you could and now look at you. Three times published author. I'm really proud of you, Jess."

"Thanks," he told her. "That means a lot."

"Youre welcome," she told him. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever. He broke off the staring contest first and looked down at his feet just barely above the water. Rory followed along and looked at her own feet.

"Why did you call me the other day?" Jess broke the silence. "I mean, it had to be more than your mom's news."

"I don't know why I did it, to be honest," she admitted. "Mom mentioned you would be coming to help out and I just couldn't get you out of my mind. So I called you."

He nodded. "Why couldn't you get me out of your mind?"

"I don't know," Rory looked up across the water and fields instead of at her feet now. "Maybe because everytime we see each other, its weird and I don't want it be weird. I want us be like we used to be. Like friends."

"Friends, huh?" She nodded. "Is that even possible for us?"

"I think so," she said about thinking. "I mean, even when we were together, we had that friendship in our relationship."

Jess just simply nodded again and after a few seconds, he answered. "Okay."

"Okay," she smiled at him.

"Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you..." Jess started then was quiet. "Why did you tell me you and him...were divorced now?"

Rory took a deep breath. "It's been over for a while between me and him. In fact, the divorce has been final for a while. I thought you knew, actually."

"I didn't," he said. "No one really talks about you to me unless I mention you first. And even then, it's vague."

"People are the same with me," she agreed. "Even after all this time."

"You'd think they'd be over it by now," he said and she heard a double meaning in his words.

"Yeah, you would," she agreed. He didn't say anything after that and neither did she. They just sat there in silence until her phone rang. Rory answered her mother's call and told Jess she had to go. He nodded, telling her goodbye, staying there long after she left just thinking about what happened.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I thought I'd give a little warning before this chapter that something sad is revealed. Just a heads up about it and I tried to make surrounding parts light or fun and just nice to help even it out if it can be :)**

"Mom?"

"In here!"

Rory shut the door behind to her to her childhood home. Her mother was sitting on the couch, smiling brightly at her daughter. "I'm guessing not so sick anymore?"

Lorelai shrugged. "It went away about a half hour before I called you. I wanted to make sure I wouldn't throw up on you."

"How very thoughtful," Rory laughed then looked around. "Where's Paul Anka?"

"Hiding from me," she told her. "He went in your old room - Evan's room."

Rory smiled. She couldn't explain why she liked it so much when her mother slipped and called it her room. But them she remembered something she wanted to ask. "Mom?"

"Yeah, kid?" Lorelai asked.

She stared at her hands and took a deep breath. "Did you know Jess was coming today?"

Lorelai's expression turned from the teasing woman she was used to into a softer, serious expression. "Luke called him about the expansion. He said if we need anything, he'll do what he can which led to my husband asking for an extra hand."

"Yes, but..." Rory nodded. "Did you know he was coming today?"

"He may have alluded to that," her mother admitted. "Why? Did you see him?"

Rory nodded. "I was caught off-guard seeing him again. Even though we do from time to time. This was...different."

"Different how?" She asked.

"I'm not sure," the younger girl told her honestly. She sighed, closing her eyes then spoke again. "I called him the other night."

Lorelai sat up straight. "You did?" Rory nodded again. "About what?"

"I'm not sure why I did it," she told her mother, avoiding the question. "You mentioned him coming because of the baby and I just started thinking about him. And I didn't tell you which I don't even understand why I didn't to be honest."

Lorelai nodded now, trying to catch up. "Its natural to start thinking about someone from your past when somebody mentions them."

"I don't know if it was just that, though," Rory replied. "Me and Jess... it's hard to explain. We never really had any closure. So everytime I hear about him, I feel like the door is there."

"Honey..." Lorelai sighed deeply and took her daughter's hands in hers. "Do you still have feelings for him? After all this time?"

"I don't think so," she said. "I think it's more we never officially finished. And now seeing him today at the diner, going to the bridge..."

"You left with him?" Lorelai asked.

"Just to the bridge."

"The bridge you two used to sneak to?"

Rory nodded. "It felt like old times. It felt easy. I didn't realize how much I missed having Jess in my life until today."

"Did you two talk about anything?" She asked. "Your past? Logan?"

"He may have mentioned Logan," Rory bit her lip. "But only because I told him we weren't together anymore on the phone."

"Hon..."

"I know," Rory sighed. "It sounds like I still care about him that way."

"Do you?"

"I care about him, yes," she answered. "I always will. I'm not too sure about more than that."

They both were silent for a moment and Rory leaned back on the couch, crossing her arms. Lorelai leaned back, too, and watched her daughter. She couldn't read her expression on her face and wasn't sure why exactly this pleased her. Maybe she wanted her daughter to figure this out later instead of making a rash decision.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Rory finally spoke. "I'm leaving in two days. I'm going home and back to work."

"It's that easy?" Lorelai asked her.

"It has to be," she sighed. "Because I don't know how much else I can deal with lately."

 _..._

 _Jess looked around the great outdoors of Stars Hollow, trying to avoid conversations with any of the townspeople. His mother went to dance with TJ and their daughter. He loved seeing his little sister probably more than he'd ever been happy to see his stepfather. Suddenly, his phone rang and he looked at the ID, smiling._

 _"Hey, Lil," he answered the call. "What's up?"_

 _"Mom told me you're at your uncle's wedding," she said across the country._

 _"Yep," he said. "It's the reception now."_

 _"Do you see her?" Lily asked. "Is she there?"_

 _Jess blew out a breath. He knew exactly who she meant without even asking. Back in that summer of 2003, Jess may have confided in his sorta-sister about leaving a girl behind in Stars Hollow. She never let him live it down._

 _He looked around through all the people and finally he saw her, talking to Lane and Zach. "Yeah, I see her right now."_

 _"You have to talk to her," she pressed._

 _He closed his eyes and pinched his nose. "She's married, Lil."_

 _"So?"_

 _"So?" He mimicked. "So I'm not going up to her."_

 _"I'm not asking you to demand she break her vows, smartass," Lily teased. "Talk to her. See her."_

 _"I see her exactly where I am just fine," he told her. "I don't need to talk to her."_

 _"Jess, come on!" She pleaded. "I've been waiting for this."_

 _"You have?" He smirked. "You've been sitting around for six years waiting for me to talk to my ex-girlfriend?"_

 _"Well, no," she laughed. "I've been waiting two years then you did talk. Then less than a year later, you messed it up. So I've been waiting three years."_

 _"I didn't mess it up," he defended. "She did. Which is why I'm not going up to her and making pleasant conversation while pretending it's all fine."_

 _"You don't have to pretend," she told him. "Just see how she is."_

 _"I know how she is," he said in a cold voice. It wasn't towards her, though. It was directed towards the daughter of his new step-aunt. "She's married to a dick."_

 _"Jess?"_

 _"I know," he said. "You may be 18 but Sasha won't like that. Don't tell her what I said."_

 _"It's not that," she corrected with a laugh. "You'll regret it if you don't talk to her. Trust me."_

 _"Okay," he nodded. "Any other pearls of wisdom?"_

 _"Nope," she smiled. "I have to go, though. Just had enough time to check in with you and give you some sense."_

 _"Thanks," he said sarcastically._

 _Lily laughed. "It's what I'm here for."_

 _They said their goodbyes and hung up. Jess stood in place, watching Rory laugh with her friend. Lane was showing her pictures, probably of her twins he had heard about. She looked absolutely happy and he had to turn away._

 _He started to walk back to the diner when he heard his name being called. Jess turned around and saw Lorelai standing there with a tall man. "Yes?"_

 _"Jess, this is my father, Richard Gilmore," she smiled. "He wanted to meet you."_

 _His jaw almost dropped. Rory's grandfather wanted to meet him? Before he got to say anything, the older man spoke first. "I've read your work."_

 _"You mean my one book?" He smirked, shaking Richard's hand that he had extended._

 _"Yes," Richard said pleased. "My granddaughter also told me you have an online website you write on so I've read some of your short stories, as well."_

 _Jess' smirk faded and it turned to an actual smile. "Not many people read that stuff."_

 _"I found it quite enjoyable, as a matter of fact," Richard commented. "You have a pure talent for the craft."_

 _"Thank you, sir," Jess answered, stunned. "That means a lot. Rory told me of your taste in books so its a high praise."_

 _"Oh, nonsense," he shrugged off Jess' compliment. "I know good writing when I see it."_

 _"Thank you," Jess said again with a genuine smile._

 _"As much as I would live to stand here in my wedding gown and listen to my father and...well, you, exchange compliments," Lorelai interrupted. "I see my husband looks lost. Maybe I should go see him."_

 _Richard turned to his daughter. "Congratulations, Lorelai. You two look very happy together."_

 _Lorelai hugged her father, stretching to reach the tall man. "Thank you, Dad."_

 _The hug ended and she walked away. The older man turned back to Jess and noticed him staring somewhere else, not the spot Lorelai had disappeared to. As soon as Jess noticed he was caught, he stopped staring._

 _Richard followed Jess' previous line of sight and saw his granddaughter now talking to the blonde woman and a little girl. He remembered Lorelai calling her Liz which meant she was Jess' mother. "She looks beautiful, doesn't she?"_

 _"What?" Jess asked._

 _"Rory," Richard smiled._

 _"Yeah," he shuffled his feet. "She always does."_

 _"That she does," he smiled. "You two were close?"_

 _"You could say that," he half-smiled, remembering how her hair felt when his hands were in it while he kissed her or how warm she felt right up against him._

 _Richard nodded. "She speaks very fondly of you."_

 _Jess gave him a questioning look, as if he didn't believe him. "She does?"_

 _"Quite a lot, actually," Richard admitted for her. "She's the one who told me about your first book. Couldn't stop praising it as a matter of fact."_

 _"She's a good liar," Jess smirked. "I think she's a little biased about my work."_

 _"Not at all," he told him. "You can tell she cares about you a great deal."_

 _Jess looked back at Rory who was still talking to Liz. She was holding Doula's hand now as they talked. "Yeah?"_

 _Richard nodded. "I'm quite sure of it."_

 _He stopped looking at her and turned back to her grandfather. There was a sad smile on his face that Richard had noticed, too. Instead of pressing any more about the boy's relationship or lack thereof with his granddaughter, he changed the subject._

 _"Tell me more about The Subsect."_

...

There was knocks at the door that quickly alerted Rory and Lorelai out of their conversation. Rory jumped up to answer the door. "Stay there. You were sick, after all."

Lorelai smiled triumphantly. "I could get used to this."

Rory laughed and opened the door, surprised to see the blonde woman on the other side. "Rory!"

"Hi, Liz," she smiled at her. "Evan!"

"''Ory!" the little boy shouted. Rory reached for her little brother and grabbed him into her arms. "Me and Liz played all morning!"

"That must have been so much fun!" She said happily. "What did you do?"

"I drew a picture of mommy and daddy!" He beamed.

"Yoy did?" Rory gasped. "Let me see, let me see!"

Liz laughed. "I have it right here."

Liz pulled the picture our of her bag and handed it to Rory. She took it and gasped in cuteness. "That is talent! Evan, go show mommy."

"I'm on it!" The little boy laughed as she let him down. She heard Lorelai exclaim in happiness when her son reached the living room.

Rory laughed. "Thanks for watching him, Liz."

She waved it off. "It's no problem. I have the cutest nephew in the world. Besides, Lord knows he watched after mine enough."

"That's true," Rory nodded. "Speaking of...have you seen Jess? He's in town."

"He is?" Liz gasped. "Why didn't he call me?"

"I think it was short notice," she tried to sound upbeat. Rory wasn't sure what the nature of Jess' relationship with his mother was nowadays. For all she knew, she just made a huge mistake in telling her this.

"I'll have to bring Doula by," the older woman told her. "She hasn't seen her big brother in a couple of months."

"Couple of months?" She couldn't stop herself from asking the scolded herself for putting her foot in her mouth.

"Sure!" Liz replied happily. "Jess comes and visits every few months to see his sister. He always makes sure to call if he can't make it, too."

She nodded, biting her lip. "That's really great. I'm glad."

"I have to go," she told the younger girl. "TJ is expecting me. I just wanted to drop off Evan."

"Thank you," Rory said, smiling. "Again."

Liz waved. "Bye Lorelai!"

"Bye Liz!" Lorelai shouted from the other room between laughs and giggles. Liz left with another wave and was off. Rory stood there in the doorway watching her leave and thinking about Jess and how he visits more often than she thought he would.

...

Jess groaned for what seemed like the hundredth time. He paced around the diner floor shaking his head. Why had he agreed to help again?

"That's not where the expansion would be," Luke told Tom.

"But we expanded upstairs and the kitchen before," Tom defended. "Where else would you do it?"

"It was supposed to connect to the living room," Luke said loudly. It wasn't exactly a yell but enough people turned towards their table. Jess stopped pacing around it and grabbed an order pad instead. He walked to the furthest table and looked up, wishing he hasn't.

"How are you doing, doll?" Babette asked him.

Miss Patty grinned at him. "You're looking well. Very well, in fact."

"Writer looks good on you," Babette told Jess.

"Thanks," he said to them. "Can I get you anything?"

"You could turn around and let me see that butt!" Miss Patty teased.

"Anything else I can get you?" He asked. Jess wanted nothing more than to get far away from them.

"Just some pie would be nice," Babette said.

"You Danes men sure fill out good," Miss Patty said as he walked away. He practically ran to Ceaser.

"You should add the room upstairs!" Kirk yelled.

"Kirk!" Luke groaned. "It can't be upstairs because there's no room underneath it."

"So?"

"So a room is gonna built with no foundation and connected only by the side of an upstairs?"

"I didn't think of that," Kirk thought to himself out loud.

Luke put his head in his hands and groaned some more. Finally, he sat up. "Excuse me a moment."

Luke practically ran right to Jess who was still hiding in the back. "I know who I'm hiding from. Who are you hiding from?"

"Miss Patty wants to check out my ass," Jess answered. "I could feel her undressing me with her eyes."

"Welcome to the club," Luke told him. "I went through that for a long time."

"What stopped it?" He asked, really needing an answer.

"I married a Gilmore," Luke shrugged. "They seemed to stop when they all knew me and Lorelai were together."

Jess sighed. "Lucky you."

Lane walked into the back room to find them huddled together while Ceaser cooked. "Why are you two in here?"

"Hiding," Jess replied. He pointed his head towards the table he ran from and Luke pointed towards Kirk and Tom.

"While the place is full?" Lane questioned.

"Just give us a couple of minutes," Luke told her. "We'll be right out."

"Okay," Lane said then turned to Jess. "Nice to see you again."

"You, too," he smirked and she smiled back before going back out to the customers.

Luke took a deep breath. "I guess I better go back out there."

"Good luck," Jess told his uncle as he walked out there. Ceaser gave him a look. "What?"

"You could cook if you're staying in the kitchen," he said.

Jess made a face. "Nah, I'm good. I think I'll go out actually."

"You sure?" Ceaser asked. "I could use the help. Kirk's here, after all."

He laughed. "I'm well aware of that. But I think I need to get out of here before my adoring fans up their antics."

Ceaser nodded, grumbling. "Okay."

Jess laughed another time than walked out of the kitchen, pass the table where Babette and Miss Patty sat and straight to Luke. "I'm headed out of here."

"What?" Luke asked. "I thought you were going to help."

"I will," he reassured him. "Just not while they're sitting right there and staring at me."

Luke looked over the offending two and saw Miss Patty very clearly staring at Jess. In fact, she was staring at both of them. "Go."

"Thanks, Uncle Luke," he said as he grabbed his jacket and was out the door into the square.

As soon as he was outside, he remembered there wasn't really anywhere to go in Stars Hollow. At least not anywhere he would want to go. Instead of stopping at one destination, Jess decided to just walk around and maybe find some place quiet to read in the process. He thought of going back to the bridge but all he was thinking of was Rory when he considered that option.

...

 _Jess picked up the phone quickly, expecting his Matt or Chris to be yelling at him for his latest edits in the online zine. "Yeah?"_

 _"Jess?" It was not either one of them. This voice was crying and obviously very upset. He'd also know it anywhere but yet he still checked his ID after. It wasn't from a cell phone._

 _"Hi," he told her. "Are you okay?"_

 _"No," Rory told him. He mentally slapped himself. Of course she wasn't, she was very obviously crying. "Jess..."_

 _"What?" He asked her. "What happened?"_

 _He was all ready to kick Logan's ass if needed to, prepared for anything, he thought. Until she told him what was wrong. "My grandfather..."_

 _There was more sniffles on the other end. He waited and let her get them out before speaking again. "Is he okay?"_

 _"No," she sniffed. "He passed away today."_

 _"Oh my god, Rory," Jess said and put his head in his hands for a moment. "I'm so sorry."_

 _"Thanks." There was another sniffle. "I don't really know what to do."_

 _He lifted his head. "What do you mean?"_

 _"I never lost someone close to me before," she answered. "Not like this."_

 _"What happened?" He asked. "You don't have to tell me but if you do want to, I'd like to know."_

 _"Heart attack," she told him. "He's been going to doctors so much since the last one six years ago. They thought he was fine."_

 _"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I don't really know what the right thing to say is."_

 _She smiled through her tears. "Don't worry about it. I just..."_

 _"Just what?"_

 _"I needed to talk to you."_

 _Jess took a deep breath and closed his eyes then opening them back up. He wanted to ask why she couldn't talk to Logan but he knew it wasn't the time for that. "I'm glad you did."_

 _"You met him, right?" Rory asked. "At mom's wedding?"_

 _"Yeah, I did," he confirmed. "He's...was a good man."_

 _She nodded. "Yeah, he was. I feel like I didn't know how much I loved him, you know? And I never want someone not know I love them."_

 _Jess sat still. What was she saying? There was something in her tone and her words. He pushed it aside. That was another thing not for now. "He knew."_

 _"How can you be sure?" Rory asked. "Because I spent so much time away from him. What if he didn't know, Jess?"_

 _"He knew, trust me," Jess assured her. "When I talked to him, I knew he knew."_

 _She was silent for a moment then finally spoke again. "Thank you."_

 _"For what?"_

 _"For answering. For being here. For letting my cry."_

 _"Of course," he said in his most serious voice. He always knew no matter what she needed, he would give it to her and being there for her when she cries is the least of what he minds._

 _"Can I call you again?" She asked. "In case."_

 _"Sure," he told her._

 _Rory smiled on the other line. "Thank you, Jess."_

 _"It's nothing," he told her._

 _"I'm gonna go," she told him. "Mom is...not doing well."_

 _"You're home?" He asked meaning Stars Hollow home and not her husband's._

 _"Yeah," she replied. "Just until the...arrangements are made. Until everything is done."_

 _"Okay," he nodded. "Go. Go talk to your mom, be there for Emily. And call if you need anything, all right? Anything at all."_

 _Rory smiled again. "I will. Bye, Jess."_

 _"Bye, Rory," he said as they both hung up._

 _He didn't get back to his work at all for the rest of the day, telling the guys he needed time off and no complaints. They didn't object because he never took days off. Jess dialed a flower company and sent flowers to both Lorelai's home and Rory's grandmother. To Rory he sent just a letter, telling her of his conversation with Richard at the wedding and her grandfather's high praises of his Yale graduate granddaughter._

 _She never called again or mentioned the letter._

...

Jess walked into Andrew's bookstore with the ringing of the bells. Andrew looked up towards him with a nod and Jess returned the nod before going to look at the stacks. Once he got to the end of the store, he saw a familiar pair of blue eyes and brown hair standing there.

"This feels like déjà vu...again," he joked.

Rory smiled. "I hope you don't run away this time."

"I'm sorry about that, by the way," he told her, no more joking.

She waved her hands in front of her. "Its over ten years ago. It's fine."

He nodded then pointed his head towards the books in her hand. "Doing some shopping?"

"Yeah," Rory said as she finally remembered she had books in her hand. "I left most of mine at home so I'm looking for new ones to try out."

"New Haven?" He asked she mentioned home.

"No," she shook her head. "Not anymore. Somewhere else."

"Can I ask where?" He laughed.

"How about you take me to dinner and I'll answer your questions if you answer mine?" She countered.

"That sounds fair," he smirked. "Tonight?"

"Plans," she shook her head. "My mom. Tomorrow okay? Before I go back home?"

"Sure," he answered.

"Good," Rory beamed. She started to walk away then turned back to him. "Its really good seeing you again, Jess."

"You, too," he smiled at her as she walked to Andrew at the counter and then out of the store.

 **A/N: This was a very hard chapter to write considering but I just couldn't picture writing a 2015 fic with Richard in it partly because we know if there ever is a movie even, Edward is gone :( So I hope I did it all right and I didn't want to make it happen during the story either so the characters have grieved in their own time also.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews! They mean so much to me and I especially love your thoughts on the last chapter. I'm sorry I don't get to respond to them but know I'm reading them and they make me smile. They also inspire me to keep writing. You rock :)**

Lorelai sat in the kitchen leafing through a fashion magazine and pouted. She was looking at all the cute outfits she wouldn't be fitting into pretty soon and sighed.

"Mom!"

She looked up to the room besides the one she was sitting in and saw her daughter standing in the doorway of her old room.

"Yes, hon?"

"I don't have anything to wear!" She gasped.

Lorelai looked up and down at Rory. "You looked dressed to me."

Rory tilted her head at her mother, glaring. "Not right now. For tonight."

"And you realized this by going into your brother's room and seeing your clothes are not in there anymore?" She laughed.

Rory's glare became more pointed. "Sue me. I forgot everything is officially moved out of here."

"What are you looking for, anyway?" Her mother asked. "The stuff we had here was like a couple sweaters, some jeans and your Chilton uniform. Were you planning on wearing your old school uniform?!"

"No," Rory answered as if her mother seriously asked that and not as a tease. She sighed and sat down at the table. "I just don't know what to wear tonight."

"I'm sure you have stuff in your suitcase to wear," Lorelai reassured her.

"I looked," Rory shook her head. "What is good to wear to a dinner with your ex-boyfriend? An ex-boyfriend who looks really really good?"

Lorelai almost snickered. "You've been thinking how good Jess looks?"

"Shut up," Rory smiled. "I don't know, Mom. He's just...Jess. And I feel like this is going to go bad if I don't prepare."

"Hon, breathe," she told her daughter and out her hand on Rory's arm. "If this is making you freak out this much, maybe you shouldn't go."

"You're just saying that because it's Jess," she smirked.

"Maybe," Lorelai shrugged. "But you're forgetting I see the guy more than you do nowadays. Maybe we're best friends."

Rory laughed. "You and Jess - best friends? I'd pay to see that."

Lorelai pouted. "Fine. Don't believe your poor mother. What can I do to help?"

"Do you have any nice dinner clothes I can borrow?" Rory asked hopefully.

"Please, that's all I have," she smiled, getting up from the table. "Though I won't be able to wear them for some time now."

"Clothes is all you're thinking of while carrying this baby?" Rory stood up and followed behind her mom.

"Maybe," Lorelai smirked.

...

Jess walked back and forth in Luke's upstairs apartment. He wasn't sure why be felt so nervous about tonight. It's not like he and Rory had never been alone before, not like they never went to dinner before. He then thought of how they never were alone at dinner since that night in Philly nine years ago and the nerves came back differently.

Why had he agreed to this?, he asked himself. Jess ran his hands through his hair. It was shorter than it had been back in high school but not too short. He sighed, taking a deep breath. He could always call it off, too, he knew. But there was a part of him, a big part, that didn't want to.

The door opened and in walked his uncle. Luke froze when seeing him standing there in the middle of the apartment, in front of the couch. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. "Thinking."

"Rory?" Luke asked, walking more into the apartment and shutting the door behind him. Jess looked up at him with a glare. "It is her, then."

Jess sighed. "Did you ever want to see Lorelai but not want to see her at the same time? After you broke up maybe?"

"Yeah," Luke nodded. "Every day."

"So you understand," Jess said. He sat down at the table. "Does it ever get easier?"

Luke snorted. "Being around a Gilmore or being around an ex?"

"Both," Jess smirked.

"Not really, no," Luke shook his head and sat down, too. "Are you thinking about not going?"

"I don't know," he told him. "Maybe."

Luke nodded. "Why did you agree to it then?"

"Temporary insanity?" Jess joked but then turned serious. "Who knows? I think I was curious to where she lives and she told me she'd tell me answers at dinner."

"Do you even want to go?"

Jess was quiet for a few seconds. Did he want to have dinner with Rory? He didn't need to think much further. "Yeah. I do."

"Then you better get ready because she's leaving tomorrow," Luke told him as he stood. "And we wouldn't want her last dinner in Stars Hollow to be a mess."

Jess have him a look as he walked out of the apartment and went back downstairs. He stayed seated for a little while longer and tried to focus on not being nervous. It's been twelve years since the two of them were together, he thought. It shouldn't be this hard.

...

 _"Who's this?"_

 _Jess walked over to his girlfriend, anxious to see what she was looking at. He peered at what she was holding. "That's my Uncle Luke. You'll meet him when we go visit."_

 _She smiled at him, beaming. The picture in her hand close to forgotten. "You were serious about that? You're taking me to Connecticut?"_

 _"I said I would, didn't I?" He smiled at her, placing a quick kiss on her lips._

 _She smiled back at him. "Just whenever you mention that town, you don't sound eager to go back."_

 _"I go back," he said, sitting down on his couch. "You know my trips I take down there."_

 _"To see your sister and your uncle, yes," she agreed and sat beside him. "But I wasn't sure you would actually take me."_

 _He shook his head. "Jen -"_

 _"Let me finish," she smiled. "You told me very little about your life there. I was just wondering if maybe you...were, you know, embarrassed to bring me with you."_

 _"That's not it at -"_

 _She cut him off. "It's okay. I'm just glad you're saying it now."_

 _"I'm not embarrassed of you," he told her then let out a small laugh as his next words came out. "I'm embarrassed of them."_

 _"Promise?" She laughed._

 _He wrapped his arms around her. "Promise."_

 _A little while later, Jen remembered the picture she was looking at before she questioned Jess and went to pick it up. In the pile was a bunch of other pictures beneath it so she picked thoae up, too. She flipped through the pictures until reaching one she hasn't been expecting._

 _The picture was of Jess and a beautiful brunette. She had sparkling blue eyes and a smile as wide as the moon in the picture. Jess' arms was wrapped around her and he was pulling her closer to him it seemed. But it wasn't any of those things that was getting to her. It was the look on Jess' face._

 _He had a smile like she'd never seen him make before and his eyes lit up brighter, too._

 _"The food will be here in fifteen minutes," Jess said as he walked back into the room. He noticed his girlfriend standing there, staring at a photo in her hand. "What's that?"_

 _Jen handed him the picture and his eyes almost bugged out. "Is that her?"_

 _"Where did you find this?" He asked, ignoring her question. Jess stared at the picture too now, his thoughts going back to the day Lorelai took that picture._

 _"Right here," she pointed to where she found the picture of Jess and Luke earlier. She turned to him now and watched him look at the picture. "Is that her, Jess?"_

 _"Who?" He sighed._

 _"You know who," she told him. "The girl you told me about when we met. The one that made you not want relationships."_

 _He blew out a breath. "Yeah, that's her."_

 _Jess slumped down on the couch. She followed and sat beside him, waiting for him to talk. When he didn't, she spoke again. "Are you finally going to tell me her name?"_

 _"Doesn't matter," he shook his head. "Me and her...that's long over. What does matter is me and you. You're the one I'm with."_

 _"Jess..." She closed her eyes then opened them again. "How long have I known you?"_

 _"Three years," he answered._

 _"How long have we been together?"_

 _He looked at her like it was a trick question to say he forgot their anniversary but then finally answered. "One and a half."_

 _"And why did it take us a year and a half to date?"_

 _"Because I was broody and a jackass?"_

 _Jen laughed. "No. Well, yes, but no."_

 _Jess laughed with her. "Fine. Tell me why it took us so long. Since I so clearly understand what you're thinking tonight."_

 _"It's because of her," she answered, all laughter aside. She pointed at the picture still in Jess' hand. "Whatever her name is, she did something to you. Something that made you want to swear all relationships for the rest of your life. I saw you. You hooked up but none of them ever lasted. It was her."_

 _"Rory."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Her name is Rory," he sighed. "And she did do something to me. But to be fair, I did something first."_

 _She nodded. "What did you do?"_

 _He made a face. "I don't really want to talk about that right now."_

 _"Why not?" She asked. "Because its hard?"_

 _"That's part of it," he nodded._

 _"What's the other part?" Jen questioned._

 _Jess smirked and nudged at her arm. "Our food should be here very soon."_

 _She smiled and laughed, hiding her face by his shoulder. "I guess it can wait until after we eat."_

 _Just then there was a knock on the door and Jess got up to go answer it. Jen called his name and he turned to look at her as he stood in front of the door._

 _"You really will tell me?" She asked. "You're not just trying to get out of this conversation?"_

 _"Yes," he nodded. "I really will tell you."_

 _"Okay, good," she smiled as he opened the door and paid for their dinner._

...

"How's this look?" Rory stood in front of her mothers mirror and checked her outfit.

"Hon, wear whatever you want," Lorelai told her. "Its not like it's a date. Its not a date right?"

"No, it's not a date," Rory confirmed. "But its been a really long time since we hung out. I don't want it be weird."

"I hate to tell you this, babe, but..." Lorelai took a breath to extend the moment. "If its going to be awkward, it will be no matter what you wear."

"You're right," Rory collapsed on the bed. "Why am I over-thinking this so much?"

"Because you wouldn't be you if you didn't," she answered for her daughter.

"Right," Rory laughed. "I'll just wear this. Its not like it's a date and there aren't many fancy places to go to in Stars Hollow."

"That's the spirit, kiddo!" Lorelai exclaimed.

A short time later, Rory headed out to the door to her mothers house and walked to the diner. It was packed and she wondered if people had heard about her and Jess' dinner tonight. Rory didn't think that was possible but she noticed Babette and Kirk staring at her in expectation.

She walked to the counter and put her small purse beside her. Luke came out of the back and smiled at her. "He's getting Evan ready to go so he should be down soon."

"Where's Evan going?" She asked.

"Emily arranged for us to go to some dinner in New Haven, one where kids came come so your mom won't have an excuse to get out of it," he told her.

"Mom didn't tell me that," she laughed lightly.

Luke smiled at her and whispered. "I don't think she's too happy about it to tell anyone."

"Well, that's true," she smiled. "Have fun."

"That's probably unlikely," Luke told her and she laughed again. "You, too."

"Thanks," she gave a genuine smile.

Jess walked down the stairs carrying his cousin in his arms. Rory and Luke both looked towards him and he smiled a small one while he placed Evan on a chair. "He's all ready to go, Uncle Luke."

"Thanks, Jess," Luke told him. "Who knows what Emily would do if he showed up improper?"

"She still hasn't let go of his disapproval?" Rory asked, already knowing the answer because she knew her grandmother.

"No, not really," Luke shook his head. "It's gotten less obvious but it's there."

Jess smirked at his uncle then turned to Rory. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, all set," she nodded and grabbed her purse. They said a quick goodbye to Luke and Evan, Jess even said bye to their audience to show he knew that were paying attention and then they were out the door.

Jess steered her outside to his car with his hand on the small of her back. She turned to him. "Aren't I supposed to pick where we go since I invited you to dinner?"

He shook his head, smirking. "I figured you'd pick somewhere here. We're not staying here."

"Where are we going then?" She asked.

"Just a place right outside town," he answered. "I'd been there before a couple of times."

She nodded. "You really thought this out then."

"Not really," he smirked. "Luke kind of pressured me by telling me its your last night before going back and don't mess up dinner."

"Okay," she smiled then realized something and stopped right in front of his car. "Am I dressed all right? This might not look fancy if we're going somewhere fancy."

He smirked at her. "It's not fancy."

"Okay, good," she breathed.

Jess opened the passenger door for her and Rory climbed in. He stood beside the door still. "And for the record, Ror...you look beautiful."

She blushed and put her head down, suddenly very interested in her hands. He shut her door and walked to the driver's side, getting in. She looked around the car and tried to change the subject. "You were right. Definitely not your high school car."

He laughed and started to drive. Within twenty minutes they reached a restaurant parking lot. It was a simple looking building and the name was just that, a person's name. Jess got out of the car first and then walked around and opened Rory's door. She got out and gave him a smile then they walked inside.

The first part of the evening was asking how the other is, ordering their meals, and avoiding the big things until their dinner had come. Jess looked up at Rory as she was eating her food and smirked. "What?"

"Is now when I get to ask you where you live?" He asked.

She laughed. "I live in New York City, actually."

He nodded, stunned then laughed, too. "How'd you end up in my city?"

"I think you surrendered your city when you stayed in Philadelphia for ten years," she countered.

"Maybe," he said. "But really. I never pictured you a big apple girl."

"Are you still teasing me for that?" She asked, remembering that day thirteen years ago when she visited him in Washington Square Park.

"A little," he shrugged.

"I actually work there now," she answered. "In New York."

"Does that mean -"

"Yeah, it does."

"Shit, Rory, congratulations," he told her. "You work at the New York Times?"

She nodded, a big smile on her face. "Only for the past three years. Before I did this online magazine for this guy named Hugo. Then there was small newspapers around who started taking notice and the Times called me for an interview."

"That's amazing," he told her with a big smile on his face.

"It is," she agreed. "I had interviewed with them before and it didn't happen so I was hesitant. But then it actually happened and I still feel like I'm pinching myself, to be honest."

"I would, too," he laughed. "I'm proud of you, Rory."

"Well, what about you?" She said. "You've written three books, Jess. That is amazing."

"Its nothing," he waved it off and continued eating. "The Times is a much bigger deal than that."

"I disagree," she replied. "I think they're equal."

"I think the fumes of city life are getting to you if you think working at the New York Times is equal to me writing three short novels," he smirked at her.

"Jess," she said. "I always knew you could do it."

"I know," he put his head down then looked back up at her. "You may have said that before."

"Are you writing anything new?" She asked.

He shrugged again. "There is something I'm working on."

She beamed. "I can't wait to read it."

"Don't get too excited," he told her with a smirk. "It may take a while."

"I can be patient," she replied. "But I'll have you know, your books are my favorites."

He snorted and took a swig of his beer. "You don't have to lie. I'll still pay for your dinner."

"You don't have to pay for my dinner," she told him. "And I'm not lying."

"I'm paying," he shook his head. "And I don't believe you."

"Really?" She asked. "Would I lie to you?"

He stared at her for a second, thinking of the lies they'd both told each other in the past. Instead of dredging that up, Jess went for a joking route and answered with a smirk. "Don't you know its true, there's no one else but you?"

Rory laughed. "Only you could sing some cheesy 80's song in the middle of a conversation and make it sound normal."

"You mean Logan never did that?" He asked before he could think. As soon as he noticed what he had said, he started apologizing. "Shit. I'm sorry."

All traces of laughter were gone and she just nodded. "Its fine. You don't have to worry about it."

"No, really," he said. "I'm sorry about...all of it."

Rory nodded. "Thank you."

It was his turn to nod and they finished their dinner soon after. Jess fulfilled his promise of paying the bill despite Rory's objections and pouts. They left the restaurant and instead of walking to his car, Rory stopped and looked across the block.

"What do you say I buy you a drink to make up for dinner?" She asked Jess as he turned to look in the direction she was looking, at a bar people were walking in and out of.

"I say that sounds like a good idea," he told her.

 **A/N: good or bad? I hope you like! And there will be more on Jen, so be ready to get more into Jess' backstory of the nine years since TRPA too :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Jess flashbacks are coming! Just thought I'd share haha XD**

"Oh my god," Rory laughed. "Really?"

"I'm dead serious," Jess laughed, too but tried to say his words as serious as possible to prove his point.

"He wore a maid uniform?" Rory asked. "Just to clean Truncheon?"

"Yep," he popped the 'p'. "I tell you, Matt can be ridiculous when he...no, scratch that. Matt is always ridiculous."

She took a sip of her drink and laughed again. It felt so easy to get back to the friendship part of them. It just felt easy being with Jess at all if she was being honest. "Please tell me you have pictures."

Jess took his phone out of his pocket and pressed the screen a few times before pushing it towards Rory. "Here you go."

"Oh my god," she repeated, laughing harder. "Look at him! What a set of legs!"

"Ssh," Jess held a finger over his lips. "He can't hear that. A beautiful girl looks at his legs...who knows what will happen?"

"In my defense," she pushed the phone back and Jess took it. "You showed me the picture."

"Fine, whatever you say," he smirked and took another swig of his beer.

She smiled at him. "I like your friends."

"Why?" He snorted as a joke. "You don't know how annoying they are."

"I met them!" She exclaimed in defense.

"For a couple of seconds during one of our busiest nights," he recalled. "That's when they're on their best behavior. Of course you liked them."

She scrunched her nose and made a face at him. "So? I still like them."

"You would," he smirked.

Rory gasped. "What does that mean?"

"You live in Stars Hollow," he pointed out with a look. "You'd like anyone."

"Hey!" She defended. "First of all, I'm a big Apple girl now."

Jess laughed. "Right."

"And..." she drew out the word then continued. "No making fun of my town!"

"If New York City isn't my city anymore, then Stars Hollow isn't your town anymore," he pointed out.

"I grew up there!"

"So did I!"

Rory pouted, stuck on her next words because she didn't have any. "Fine. Truce?"

"Didn't know we were fighting," he smirked. "But, yeah, truce."

She nodded, a smile on her face. "Thank you."

"So what about your friends?" He asked. "Do you still talk to people you grew up with?"

"Paris and Doyle got married," she told him. "About...seven years ago."

"Doyle?" He asked.

"Right," she said. "You two never met. They met freshmen year at Yale, didn't date until sophomore year. Well, not date so much as slept together and I happens to come by afterwards."

Jess laughed. "Scale of awkward?"

"Very," she nodded with a laugh. "And that wasn't the worst time I've caught them."

"I'm intrigued," he commented. "What other stories are there?"

"Another time," Rory said. "I'm not drunk enough to relive those memories."

"Another time," he repeated. "What else?"

"Lane had a baby girl," she answered. "Christina."

"Wow," he said and drank more of his beer. "When was that?"

"About six months ago," she answered. "Lane swore she'd never have any more kids after the boys. But then she got pregnant again. Her mom watches her a lot, which is good despite what you'd think."

"It's still weird to believe Lane is a mother," he said.

"Oh, I know," she agreed. "If you asked me back in high school who I'd thought be married with children first of the two of us...I wouldn't have guessed her."

"Mrs. Kim lightened up, I guess?" He asked, steering away from that look in her eyes he could only guess was thinking about her divorce.

"A lot," she nodded with a slight smile. "She didn't even have a panic attack when Lane told her about the twins or Zach asked if he could marry Lane."

"Wow," he nodded too. "She sounds more mellow, now."

"Oh, don't be fooled," Rory replied in a serious tone. "She's still the same, just...softer, I guess is the right word."

"Wow," he repeated. Rory gave him a look as if she wanted to say something but didn't. Jess noticed. "What?"

"Remember when you came to Lane's window to see me?" She laughed.

"The baseball bat," he remarked with his own laugh. "I thought she was going to beat me with it."

"She probably wanted to," she teased. "You ran out of there so fast!"

"Scary woman plus a baseball bat..." He said. "Not exactly a fun situation."

She just laughed again. "It was funny in my end."

"That's because she likes you," he pointed out.

"Maybe," she said. "But she didn't approve of me having a boyfriend without marriage plans, especially a bad boy, James Dean boyfriend."

He smirked. "If she had problems with you, I can't imagine what she actually thought of me."

They each took another drink and realized they were down to the bottoms of their glass and bottle. Jess ordered another for both of them and when the waitress walked away, Rory spoke again. "I wanted to come out with you that night, you know."

"What?" He questioned after taking the last sip from his old beer.

"You asked me about getting out of there, remember?" She teased. "Come on. Don't tell me you forgot."

"I didn't forget," he answered. "Thought you might have."

"No," she said softly. "But I was about to answer before Mrs. Kim came..."

He nodded. "Huh."

He took another drink and peeled at the label. Rory watched him, curious then took a sip of her own drink for more courage. "What are you thinking?"

Jess' gaze turned to her and his eyes were thoughtful, soft. "I screwed up a lot back then, didn't I?"

"A little," she answered. He gave her a look that told her not to lie. "Maybe a lot."

"I am sorry about all of that," he told her. "I never told you that."

"I know," she referred to his apology.

They were quiet a moment and Rory didn't want the night to turn awkward all because she mentioned something in high school. She searched for something that would change the tension and hopefully take it away.

"My mom told me you snore," she chuckled.

"What?!" Jess almost spit out his drink. "How would she know anything about how I sleep?"

"That night of the Inn fire," she replied as if that answered all. "Mom stayed in Luke's apartment."

"Right," he thought back to that night and remembered seeing her in Luke's bed when he noticed his uncle on the couch. He was thinking about how Rory didn't get to answer and how beautiful she looked even in her pajamas when he realized her mother was in his home.

Rory laughed, remembering it herself. "She said it so casually like she read it book. 'Hey your boyfriend snores, by the way' - exactly what she said."

He laughed. "What did you say?"

"How I didn't need to know that," she smirked. "But maybe I did."

"Why?" He smirked back. "Were you planning on being around when I sleep?"

She blushed, looking down at her hands. He smirked bigger, watching her expression before Rory finally looked back at him. "Maybe I was planning on killing you in your sleep and needed to know how sound a sleeper you were."

"Ouch, Gilmore," he held his hand over his heart in mock-hurt. "You wound me."

She laughed and drank some more of her drink, shrugging. "I guess you'll never know now. Not as easy to plan a homicide from New York City to Philadelphia."

"True," he agreed. "There's no poor defenseless men in New York City to come after?"

"How do you know it's guys only?" She leaned forward with a teasing look on her face.

Jess just stared at her, trying to read her expression. "Well, that would be really...hot."

Rory laughed, leaning back to her previous position in her seat. He pouted at her which only make her more entertained. "You so like that idea, don't you?"

He shook his head in denial. "No...not at all."

She grinned then gasped. "Speaking of! Did you know Paris kissed me?"

His eyes almost bugged out. "Paris Gellar?"

"Yep."

"Crazy, Chilton Paris?"

"That's the one."

Jess let out a low laugh. "Now this I need to hear."

...

 _Jess sat at a bar in Philadelphia on a Saturday night. Actually it was more like morning at this point. He finished off another glass of whiskey. It wasn't his usual drink - Jess was more of a beer guy - but he wanted something different. The usual things he liked weren't cutting it tonight._

 _The bartender came around again and he asked for another. She looked at him curiously but instead of saying anything, she just gave him another whiskey. Jess sat there, seething as he recalled the nights events. Hell, even the day's events._

 _Rory had came to see him for the first time since after the accident. He would give anything to be back there instead of how he felt right now. Everything with Dean didn't even feel like it compared to hearing her say she was in love with the blonde dick. She had never told him she was in love with Dean to his face, not the way she said she was in love with...him._

 _His new glass was done in seconds and he asked for another. Jess was already drinking it by the time someone came and sat beside him. He didn't look at the person, figuring it was nobody important. Then he heard a familiar voice. "I thought you didn't want to go to a bar tonight."_

 _"Changed my mind," he told his friend._

 _"Was it the girl?" Chris asked. "The one who was there tonight?"_

 _Jess nodded. "Yep. It's always her, it seems like."_

 _Chris ordered his own drink then turned to Jess. "Do you want to talk about it?"_

 _"Not really," Jess snorted._

 _"Let's get you home," he told him. "Come on."_

 _"Not yet," Jess' disagreed. "I'm not drunk enough to forget today yet."_

 _"You mean yesterday?" Chris asked teasingly, trying to help his friend's mood. Judging by the look on his face, it didn't have the desired effect._

 _Chris finished off his drink, tossing his head back to get it all then stood up. "Come on, Jess. Let's go."_

 _Jess shrugged off his friend's hand, groaning. "I'll leave whenever I'm ready."_

 _"Jess..." Chris pleaded._

 _"She came here to use me," Jess started, anger coming out of his words. "After all of our history, I made a friendly gesture to her. To invite her to something that only was possible because of her. And this is what she does."_

 _"She used you?" Chris asked, surprised. He remembers seeing them talking earlier. Jess was actually smiling and happy and she looked it, too._

 _"Tried to," Jess answered. "Her asshole boyfriend cheated on her so she came here so I could help her cheat on him."_

 _Chris looked even more shocked. "She told you this?"_

 _"Not in so many words," he drank some more. "But I got the gist. Nice to know I'm only good for revenge sex, though."_

 _"Did you two -"_

 _"No."_

 _"Too guilty?" Chris asked, wondering if Jess went through any of it._

 _"I didn't know," he replied. "I kissed her and she pulled away, telling me how she couldn't cheat on the dick the way he cheated on her. Wasn't exactly a turn on."_

 _The bartender came back and Jess got another while Chris shook his head to her. "I think you had enough."_

 _"Nope," Jess said bitterly. "I still remember what it felt like seeing her and how it felt when she left."_

 _"Come on, man," Chris tried to hold onto him and pull him up. "You need to sleep it off."_

 _"One more," he whined._

 _"No more," his friend corrected. He finally got Jess to stand up. He helped him walk away after putting money down. "I'm gonna get you home."_

 _Jess struggled to walk but managed only because of Chris' support. "I loved her. She's the only person I ever loved. Does she even care about me or am I just a tool for when she gets tired of her boyfriends?"_

 _"I don't know," Chris told him honestly. "Let's just get you home and you can sleep this off and maybe feel better in the morning...besides the hangover."_

 _Jess smirked. "Hopefully."_

 _Chris piled Jess into the backseat of his car after Jess remembered he took a cab to the bar. He should have figured as much since he seemed like he wanted to get passed put drunk. When they got home, Matt came rushing to them off of the couch._

 _"What happened?" He asked as he slung Jess' other arm around him and they attempted walking him to the couch._

 _"He's been drinking," Chris explained._

 _Matt nodded as if that answered everything. "Was it because of that girl? The one who was here tonight?"_

 _"Yep," he answered. "It's a long and complicated story, apparently."_

 _"Five years," Jess groaned._

 _"What?" Chris asked._

 _"Five years since I first saw her," he mumbled and slurred but they understood. This was not the first time they've seen Jess drunk._

 _The two guys nodded together. It was starting to make sense. They got him to lay down and took off his shoes. Jess fell right asleep as soon as he was down._

...

Rory was giggling. A lot. Jess thought it was adorable and he couldn't even push the thoughts aside because he, too, was close to giggling. She waved her band in front of her face and couldn't stop her giggling.

"You're really drunk," he told her.

"You, too," she laughed.

He nodded and felt his head spin. "How much did we drink?"

She thought for a moment then laughed. "I lost count."

"Why did we drink so much?" He rephrased his question.

"I dunno," she laughed. Jess was laughing with her and he didn't even care how happy he seemed at the moment.

"I can't drive," he told her.

Rory gasped. "I could drive!"

"No, you can't," he laughed. "I need to -"

He fumbled through his pockets, cutting his own words off as he looked for his phone. Rory watches him, laughter ready to bubble out of lips. He finally finds it and checks it to see his battery is about to die.

"Damn," he laughs.

"Use mine," she said and pulled out her own phone.

Jess mumbled a thanks and took the phone from her hand, their fingers touching for a second. After what seemed like forever looking through he phone book, he found his uncle's name - he wasn't even sure how - and called it.

"Oh!" Rory gasped. "Don't tell my mom!"

"Kay," he murmered, not wanting to ask and not really being up for an actual conversation. He was bound to get enough of that tomorrow morning along with a lecture.

The phone finally picked up and he could hear his tired uncle on the other end. "Rory?"

"Guess again," Jess laughed.

"Jess?" Luke's voice was worried now. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"No," he said. "We need a ride."

"Where are you?"

Jess told him the location and Luke sighed. "Can you get us?"

Rory was anxiously bouncing on her feet, watching him. "Is my mom there?"

Jess shrugged while Luke answered. "I'll get you."

He was about to hang up when he called Luke's name. "Lorelai can't know."

"All right," he promised. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

They officially hung up and waited. Luke came by in fifteen minutes. Rory wobbled a little to the car so Jess tried to help her which wasn't as much help as it should have been. The older man took one look behind him at his wife's daughter and sighed. Daggers were shot in Jess' direction once Rory closed her eyes and leaned her head back.

They were quiet the whole ride and Luke dropped them off at the diner, per Jess' request. He helped Rory get upstairs then went back to his car, telling them not to do anything...stupid. Rory collapsed right down on a bed face first and snuggled to the pillow. Jess took the other bed and went to sleep, too.

...

 _The notebook was almost full after hours of writing and planning. Jess sighed as he finished another chapter of in his latest thoughts, wondering what else there was left to write. He even had sketch pages where he scribbled pictures of a girl holding a still bleeding heart in her hands, the blood dripping down to the ground. Jess was never particularly an artist but he really liked those sketches._

 _Matt knocked on the door, standing in the entrance to Jess' room. "You feeling any better?"_

 _"Yeah," he sighed, trying to believe his own lie. "I'm not puking anymore so that's a plus."_

 _"That would be," Matt agreed. "But I wasn't talking about that."_

 _Jess' expression fell. "I'm fine."_

 _"You don't seem fine," his friend explained. "First you were getting drunk and now you're hiding in your room all day."_

 _"I'm hungover," Jess defended. Matt gave him a strange look. "Fine, maybe not anymore because I'm used to bring drunk and holding my liquor and shit like that. But I'm also...writing."_

 _"You're writing?" He gasped. "About the girl?"_

 _He took a deep breath. Why did he pick friends who stick their nose into his business? "A little. It's not all about her, though."_

 _"Can I see?"_

 _Matt leaned over Jess' shoulder, now in the room. Jess leaned away and closed the book shut. "Let me have it for a few days before you come sniffing for inspection, huh?"_

 _"Fine," he grumbled. "I'll be downstairs, working."_

 _He left with a pout and Jess sighed. He guessed he couldn't avoid work forever. He opened up the notebook again and saw his scratched out opening notes. Above them, he scribbled Dark? And circled the word. Then he stood up and went back downstairs to work and try to forget the previous day and why he had wanted to be drunk in the first place._

 **A/N: I had a hard time writing this! I don't know why. But I decided to start with the night we last saw Jess on the show and maybe counter him getting drunk over Rory vs him getting drunk with Rory. Also went a little back and forth on what would happen with drunk Lit and considered the obvious options but I hope its still good!**

 **Plus I have another one-shot idea I'm hoping to get out by the end of the week. I've been so crazy busy lately it seems but I'm gonna try my hardest anyway haha. Thank you so so much for reading, reviewing, following, anything. You inspire me as much as Literati does which means a whole ton :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I feel like this is a little delayed (and probably especially since I wrote the one-shot lol) so I'm gonna try to do at least two chapters in this week which I hope everyone enjoys!**

"Ugh," Rory groaned. Her face was still smashed into a pillow and she lying on her stomach. Rory peeked open her left eye, trying to remember where her blasting headache came from.

There was a problem though. The wall she was facing was not her wall. Not the wall at her mom's house, not the wall of her NYC apartment, not even a reminder of Yale. Opening her right eye, Rory flipped herself over so she could see the room better. Oh my god, she thought.

She now recognized where she was.

Rory looked down at herself and sighed in relief. She was fully clothed, that was a good sign. It means they didn't do anything while she was...how drunk did she get anyway? Instead of getting up, she laid there with the blanket over her and tried to piece it together.

They went out to dinner right? And then to the bar, she remembered. Where Rory ran a tab for their drinks and for some reason, couldn't not drink. How did they get home? She couldn't remember that part.

 _Oh_ , she groaned. _What happened?_

Just as she struggled to think harder about the previous night, the door to the upstairs opened. She panicked, considering hiding in the bed. But then, she saw just who was walking in, relaxing as it wasn't Luke. But she wasn't exactly relieved considering she didn't remember the whole of last night.

"Hey," Jess told Rory as he walked in. "You're awake."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I couldn't remember much, though."

Jess laughed. "You did drink a lot."

"It's not funny," she smirked. "It's not!"

"I'll stop laughing," he walked closer to her and placed coffee and a muffin in front of her. "Peace offering?"

Rory stared down at the muffin. "Is that gonna make me throw up?"

"I'm not sure," he made a face but then turned teasing. "It might seem weird to say this but do you have hangover preference foods?"

She considered this a moment then smiled a small one. "Mac and cheese. But I'm usually fine with eating my breakfast after."

"Does this happen often?" Jess asked. His tone was different, like a wondering curiosity.

"No," she said quickly. Maybe it was too quickly. "Not...too often."

Rory started drinking her coffee to avoid more questions about her drinking. That might lead to talking about Logan, which she did not want to do, especially with Jess.

He watched her carefully. There was a look in his eyes as he did so, Rory couldn't tell what it was. She had a feeling his own thoughts directed to Logan just as hers did. She wanted to find some way to make it clear she didn't drink to forget her ex-husband but she couldn't think of an explanation he'd want to hear.

"Rory?" He asked after a moment. Her eyes looked up to his, meeting his face. He really grew up good, she couldn't help but think. "What time do you have to leave?"

She turned to look at him and then a clock. It was only 8 am it seems. "A couple of hours, probably. I should start driving around 10:30, 11."

Jess nodded. "You're okay to drive all the way to the city after last night?"

A part of her wanted to ask what happened last night, as if she believed there was more than drinking that happened. She couldn't quite explain it but then again, things between them were never as they seemed to start with.

But Rory did know Jess. If something had happened, he'd tell her.

"Yeah," she finally answered. "I shouldn't be that hungover."

"Okay," he accepted.

Jess started backing out of the door to leave but his name stopped him in his tracks. "Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?" He asked.

She shrugged. "The coffee, the muffin. Dinner. You name it."

Jess smirked and put his head down, looking back up at her after a few seconds. "You're welcome."

And with that, he turned back around and left the apartment. Rory looked around for her purse and grabbed it. Her phone was off. It had probably died at some point while she was sleeping. Rory groaned, stood up and stretched.

...

 _There was a loud crash across the apartment. Rory jerked awake, sitting up to see what made the noise. The room was so dark but she squinted to try to make out a figure. She sighed in relief when she recognized who made the sound. "Logan?"_

 _"Ssh," he whispered. "I'm trying to not wake my wife up."_

 _"Logan," she tried again but not as a question this time. "I'm already awake."_

 _"Shit," he muttered and stumbled into a table._

 _Rory got up from the bed, turning on lights as she passed. Logan winced when the light hit his eyes and that just made her turn on another. She finally reached him and noticed what time it was. "It's 3 o'clock in the morning, Logan. Where were you?"_

 _"Colin and Finn were in town," he slurred. "They wanted to go out."_

 _"And drink," she finished for him. He nodded but closed his eyes to the head movement. "Logan...why?"_

 _"I told you," he said. "Colin...and Finn were here."_

 _"I know," she said icely. "But you told me this was over. That you wouldn't come in at any hours or the night after last time. Do you remember last time?"_

 _"Not this again," he groaned. Logan slipped his shoes off sloppily and then started peeling his clothes off. When he was only left in his boxers, he sat on the bed. "I just want to sleep."_

 _"So did I," she argued. "But then my husband waltzed in drunk off his ass and woke me up."_

 _"So go to sleep," he replied with his eye closed and still sitting upright. "No one's stopping you."_

 _"You are!" She shouted. Logan winced at her volume and opened his eyes. Rory couldn't deny the annoyance she saw in them. "You promised me, Logan! Did that mean nothing?"_

 _"Of course not!" He shouted back at the loudest he could without hurting his own head. "But my friends were here. They wanted to go out. I'm sorry I wanted to have a good time with guys I haven't seen in a while!"_

 _Rory shook her head. "I'm not going through this again!"_

 _"No one told you to!" He said back. "Just go to sleep. Come on, Ace."_

 _"No," she said and grabbed her purse and a pair of jeans, racing into the bathroom._

 _"No?" He yelled. "What the fuck does that mean?"_

 _She cams out of the bathroom, now wearing the jeans with the shirt she wore to bed and her purse over her shoulder. "It means I can't be around you right now."_

 _"Rory!" Logan yelled from the bed. He was feeling very sober now and stood up to follow her._

 _Rory grabbed her jacket and slammed the door behind her. She practically raced down the hallway of their loft and heard the door open behind her. She didn't look back to see him or to even check if he was following her. She got downstairs minutes later and walked right to her car and took a deep breath._

 _"Its 3 am," she said to herself. "Where the hell am I going to go?"_

 _But she started the car anyway and pulled out of her spot just in time to see Logan exit the building in his boxers still._

 _Rory had no idea where to go. They lived in Chicago for past six months after Logan transferred here. She didn't have many friends here, not ones she could come at any hour in the night and ask for someplace to stay at least. She cursed herself for not packing anything before she left as she considered places to go._

 _After more minutes of driving, a half hour after leaving her home, Rory's eyes started closing. She pulled over to a street and just broke down. She wasn't sure how exactly she got here, to this place in life, how her and Logan got so off-track...it scared her. He promised it would be better. He promised less drinking and partying. He told her after the last time he got really drunk that he was done._

 _Logan told her he loved her more than the feeling he got when he drank. And how it was because of that, he could give it up. Because he wouldn't be able to give her up if he had to choose._

 _Rory sobbed hard against the wheel of her car her grandparents had gotten her all those years ago. She never felt the need to upgrade it because she loved IG so much. And right now, it was her best friend._

 _She looked down at her phone and considered calling someone. Rory didn't exactly want to confide at this particular moment but she needed to hear her mom's voice. She felt bad at the thought of waking her but she also knew she needed to talk to someone. Rory dialed her mother and waited._

 _It seemed like forever when she finally heard Lorelai's voice. "Rory?"_

 _"Hi, mom," she whispered and hoped her emotions weren't too obvious in her tone._

 _"It's... almost 4 am," Lorelai pointed out. "What is it? Is something wrong?"_

 _"Um...yeah," she managed to say._

 _"Rory, hun, where are you?" Her mother asked. She felt comforted her mom could tell so much._

 _"I'm not sure," she looked around at the buildings surrounding her. "I just kept driving."_

 _"Tell me what happened," she said. The more seconds they were on the phone, the more awake Lorelai became._

 _"Logan came home drunk," Rory explained. "He went out with friends and just came back almost an hour ago."_

 _Lorelai nodded, understanding. "Oh, sweetie. What happened after?"_

 _"I blew up!" She exclaimed. "I yelled at him and he started yelling back. It was a mess! Then I walked out. And I have nowhere to go and its the middle of the night in a new city. Maybe not new-new, but you know what I mean."_

 _"Honey..." She told her. "I think you made the right decision."_

 _"Really?" Rory asked skeptically._

 _"Really," her mom agreed. "Last time was...scary. I hated seeing you deal with that. If you needed time to breathe, then you did the right thing."_

 _"I have nowhere to go," she argued in a sad voice. "What do I do?"_

 _"Go to a hotel," her mom answered. "Sit, cry, sleep. Take a shower. Do whatever you need to do. Then decide later what's next."_

 _Rory nodded to herself, biting her lip and holding back tears. "Okay."_

 _They talked for a few more minutes and when they hung up, Rory drove out to a nearby hotel._

...

Jess walked down the stairs to find Luke staring at him. The younger man ignored the stare and went behind the counter. Luke followed him there and when Jess noticed, he turned around and annoyedly asked. "What?"

"Juat wondering if you're gonna tell me what happened last night," Luke shrugged.

"Nothing happened," Jess said. "We were drinking, couldn't drive home. Aren't you supposed to be calling me responsible for this instead of giving me the second degree?"

He grabbed plates from Cesar and walked out of the kitchen and handed it to a table. Luke walked with him, his expression softer. "You know you don't have to help out here, right?"

"I know," Jess said. "Its just a habit, I guess."

"Can we talk?" Luke asked.

"Not right now," he answered. "Later. Not that there's anything to talk about."

"Fine," he put his hands up in surrender. "But I will be asking."

"Fine," Jess said back in his own tone.

Just then, he heard footsteps on the creaky stairs that led to the upstairs apartment and the curtain pulled back to reveal Rory. Miss Patty and Babette gasped in surprise at seeing her emerge from there. They looked between both Rory and Jess and nodded approvingly. Jess rolled his eyes at them as Rory walked towards him and his uncle.

"I should probably get home," she explained. "I don't have many hours left before I should hit the road."

"Okay," Jess nodded. "Drive safe."

"I will," she smiled then turned to her stepfather, hugging him. "See you, Luke."

"Bye, Rory," he smiled then they broke apart. She waved goodbye at the two men then everyone else and was out the door. Jess stared at her as she left but broke out of that stare quickly when he heard a familiar husky voice whispering.

"She was upstairs," Babette said. "All night. Something had to have happened."

"We know it didn't work out with Logan," Miss Patty agreed then flicked her eyes towards Jess. "Maybe because of him."

"Those two never did get over each other," Babette added. "Remember how long it took her to date again?"

Jess went up to their table with the coffee pot. "Anything else I can get you?"

"No, doll," Miss Patty said, surprising him. Usually she'd want to grab his butt or something like that.

He nodded, making a suspicious face because they weren't as quiet as they thought they were. He stepped away and waited to see if they'd start it up again. Which they did seconds later.

"Besides, have you seen him?" Miss Patty continued. "The boy grew up good."

Babette nodded. "I'm sure she couldn't resist that with him looking like he does and looking at her like she's the only girl in the world still."

"I can barely resist that!" Miss Patty said. Jess cringed as he listened to the two women objectify him. "Rory actually has a chance at it. She won't make the same mistake twice."

He was done listening now. Jess made a whistle sound with his fingers in his mouth and all heads turned to him. "Okay, listen! One, Rory did stay upstairs last night. Two, no, nothing happened. No matter how much resisting you think there needs to be. Third - it's none of your damn business!"

Jess went right up the stairs after his speech and Miss Patty and Babette just looked at each other. Kirk stared at the curtain while everyone else went back to eating. "He does look pretty good."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Kirk."

...

Rory opened the door and shut it behind her. She tried to do it as quietly as possible so she could sneak and get a change of clothes but there was Lorelai, sitting on the couch and facing her.

"Have fun last night, sweets?" She asked.

Rory nodded and took off her coat. "Yeah. It was nice."

"Were you safe?" was her next question.

Rory's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

"You know, safe," Lorelai began to clarify. "Protection. A rubber."

"Oh, God," Rory made a face.

Lorelai resisted the urge to laugh. "That bad?"

"No!"

"So it was good?"

"No," Rory said again. "It wasn't anything. Nothing happened. I don't think."

"You don't think?" She asked.

"No, I know," Rory nodded. "We had a little too much to drink. So I crashed at Luke's apartment."

"Uh-huh," Lorelai said. "And I should believe this?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"It's the truth!" Rory walked into the living room and rooted through her stuff looking for clothes. "You really think we just jumped each other because we had dinner?"

"No," her mother answered. "I think you jumped each other because you never have and have more sexual tension than anyone I've ever met. Well, aside from me and Luke but now that we relieve that tension, its not as obvious."

"Ew, gross," she made a face.

"Well, there's proof," Lorelai pointed to her belly and towards Evan's room.

"There is no sexual tension," Rory defended. "We had a nice dinner, we caught up. Then we went out for a drink and couldn't drive so Luke picked us up. I didn't want to worry you because I drank and you were asleep. So I stayed there. End of story."

She found clothes to wear and headed towards the bathroom. "Really?"

"Really."

Lorelai searched her daughter's face, looking for a hint of a lie. She saw none and her suspicion eased. "Okay."

"Okay," Rory agreed. "Now I'm going to take a shower. Is that all right or is there more questions?"

Lorelai pretended to think for a moment. "None that I can think of right now."

"Okay, good," she said as she closed the door behind her.

...

 _The following day, Rory walked back into the loft she shares with her husband. He wasn't anywhere to be found. But she did spot a note on the table next to where her house keys go._

 _She picked it up, looking over her name written in Logan's handwriting._

Rory -

You were right. I did promise this wouldn't happen again. I'm sorry. Watching you walk out last night made me realize what an ass I'd been. I've decided to get help. Maybe AA or something that will help. Anything that will get that look out of your eyes when you see me or smell the alcohol on my breath. I hope you're still here when I get back. I love you.

 _Her hands shook as she reached the end of his letter. Rory's sobs took over and she collapsed into the nearest seat._

 **A/N: So this one switched back to Rory past tense with more with Jess is coming, I promise! Thank you so much for everything, you guys. I hope you're still reading and liking!**


	10. Chapter 10

Lorelai looked at her daughter's suitcases with her hands on her hip and a questioning look. She made a face and tilted her head back and forth. Evan watched her from the couch while Rory walked in from the kitchen, pop-tart in hand, and looked at her mother.

Rory stepped closer. "What's wrong?"

"You sure you got everything all packed?" Lorelai asked.

"Yes," Rory nodded. "I made sure to get everything I came with or bought."

"And there's none of my stuff mixed with your stuff?" She continued.

Rory laughed. "You gave me stuff!"

Lorelai pouted and Evan laughed. "But I plan on fitting it again one day."

"You still fit in it now, Mom," Rory smiled. "You didn't have to offer until you got bigger "

"I'm pregnant," she defended at being told she'll get bigger. "Its only a matter of time."

Rory laughed. "And with that, I should get my car ready to go."

"Wait!" Evan shouted, finally getting in the conversation. "Rory say goodbye?"

"Of course," she smiled at her little brother and walked over to him, hugging him tight to her as she kneeled in front of him.

"Aww," Lorelai said. "My two babies. Where is my camera when I need it?"

Both of them looked over at her. Rory smirked. "Hormones?"

"I got dust in my eye," she sniffled.

Evan spoke first this time. "Sureeeee, Mom."

"Shush," Lorelai told them with a smile. "I can't have all my kids ganging up on me "

Rory stopped teasing her mom, Evan too, and carried her suitcases out to the car. Evan held onto his mother's hand and Rory looked at them with a smile on her face.

"You'll be back soon?" Lorelai asked her.

Rory nodded. "Before you know it."

"Okay, sweets," she nodded with tears in her eyes. "Drive safe. Call every two hours."

"Mom," she laughed.

"Mom," Evan mimicked.

Lorelai gasped. "They're both turning on me! Maybe the new one will be nice."

Rory shook her head and went forward to hug her mom and little brother. Each hug lasted more than the usual few seconds. She turned to her brother after they hugged. "I'm gonna miss you so much, little man."

"I'll miss you, too, big girl," he told her.

She laughed, hugging him again. "Tskr care of mom. Make sure she stays out of trouble, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," he saluted and she laughed.

Rory let go of her brother and climbed into her car. Lorelai walked to the window. "You gonna go see Luke before you go?"

"Was planning on it," she said. "I already saw him this morning but I want to actually say bye to him. I went to go see Lane too so I should."

She nodded. "Love you, sweets."

"Love you, too," Rory smiled then looked to the little boy. "Love you, Evan."

"Yeah, yeah," he replied which caused both women to laugh.

They said their goodbyes and she drove off to the middle of town. The diner was full with the lunch rush but she parked her car and got out anyway. Just as Rory was about to open the door, she saw someone walking beside the building and went over to them.

"Jess?" She asked when she found him. He looked up at her and smirked.

"Thought you would be gone by now," he told her.

"I just came to say bye to Luke," she explained. "Wasn't sure I would catch you but I'm glad I did."

Walking away further from the trash he just discarded, Jess walked to her. "Me, too."

"I really did have a good time last night," she told him. "Even the hangover included. It was fun."

"Yeah, it was," he agreed.

Something unspoken hung in the air, the way it always had between the two of them. She didn't think it had anything to do with last night anymore. It was just...them. What he had say all those years ago?

 _It is what it is. You, me._

The memory pained at her and Rory pushed it aside. "We should do it again sometime. When I come back in tow. And if you're still around."

"I'd like that," he nodded and smirked at the same time. Some things never change, do they?

She leaned forward and hugged him. It was only something she'd done a couple times before. Only once after that night in Philly, when her mom had Evan. "Bye, Jess."

Jess hugged her too, his hands resting on her lower back as he pulled her to him. "Bye, Rory."

They stood there for a moment, just holding each other tight. Something about it felt right. Rory's head rested on his shoulder until finally, they broke apart. Even then, they still held each other and their faces were so close to each other. Rory wasn't even sure who leaned in first but before she knew what had happened, she was kissing Jess.

His lips felt like electricity, shocking her with each second. Her hands removed themselves from his back and slid up his arms to his neck. Rory made a mental note of how good his arms felt under her hands and how much he had grown physically since the last time they'd been together.

The kiss got even deeper and Rory somehow felt herself pull apart. They were both out of breath and neither said anything. They just looked into each other's eyes with an apology on both of their lips. A voice interrupted and the two of them jumped apart.

"Someone told me they saw you park," Luke explained as he walked around the corner.

Rory nodded. "Yeah. I was coming to see you but then I saw Jess and...came to say goodbye."

Luke didn't notice her slip but Jess did. He pretended it didn't happen for her sake...well, and for his, too. He wasn't sure how his uncle would react if he knew what just happened. Who was he kidding though? He wasn't even sure of his own reaction or if it even started.

"I'm glad you did," Luke replied. "You heading out now?"

"Yeah," she smiled at her stepfather. "You were my last stop."

"Oh, last," Luke grinned. "I feel special now."

"Oh, come on," Jess hit his arm with a smirk. "Last could be a good thing."

"Like save the best for last!" Rory said excitedly.

"I wouldn't tell your mom about that," Jess remarked.

"Right," Rory widened her eyes. "Don't tell her."

"Your secret's safe with me," Luke nudged her. She smiled up at him then leaned up to hug him. "Have a safe drive, okay?"

"I will," she agreed. "Bye, Luke. Take care of mom no matter how crazy her cravings or hormones get, okay?"

"I always do," he smiled at her and they broke apart.

She looked over at Jess and gave a small smile. She felt bad simply just giving a wave but as much as she wanted to hug him again, she knew she couldn't. Or more that she shouldn't, not after what just happened.

He waved back at her and both men watched as Rory climbed into her car. She gave them both another wave and was off. Luke moved first, telling Jess he should go back in. Jess watched as the car disapeared and finally went back inside when Rory and her car were gone.

...

 _Jess thought he was imagining things. He stared out the window of Truncheon books at a parking spot that had just been occupied. He thought he saw a familiar car parked exactly there. But more than that, he thought he saw a familiar person. A girl, to be exact._

 _Rory._

 _He really believed he would know her anywhere but right now, in this second, after seeing that car and being pretty sure he saw her...Jess thought he was losing his mind. How much had he wanted to see her in the past year and a half since that night? How much had he not wanted to see her? Maybe his mind was trying to give him what he wanted, a closure with her._

 _That had to be it. Why else would he see her? But then again, he hasn't really seen her either. It was just his imagination, or so Jess kept telling himself._

 _"What are you looking at?" He heard Jen's voice ask from behind him._

 _Jess shook his head and turned around. "I'm not sure."_

 _She nodded. "You look like you've seen a ghost."_

 _"I think I did," he pointed out._

 _"Wanna talk about it?" Jen watched his face for his reaction. He was quiet and his face gave nothing away once she pointed out how he looked. His face turned back to the perfect mask he usually composed._

 _"Not really," he shook his head and made this expression with his lips. It was kind of like a pout but not. "What's going on? They need me?"_

 _"Yeah," she smiled as she tried to lighten the tension. "Chris wanted you to come look at the final edit of the zine before he publishes it."_

 _"Right," he said. "I forgot about the zine."_

 _"Are you sure you're okay?" Jen asked as Jess started walking away from the window without a look back. She held his arm and stopped him in the middle of the room._

 _"I'm fine," he told her._

 _"Jess..." She knew him so well already. They had only met four months ago when she applied to work with Matt on the poets. He didn't understand why she understood him so fast. Especially since the last time someone did so soon, they took their turns breaking each other's hearts._

 _"I'm fine," he repeated. "Really. Don't worry about it."_

 _She nodded, treading carefully. "Okay."_

 _He went to go help Chris on the zine and a half hour later, he was already finished. Jess walked back to his desk downstairs and took out the red notebook. He wasn't even sure why he still had the damn thing. It was over four years old and it was filled. It had all of Jess' thoughts and feelings about high school and leaving her, California, his dad. It was where The Subsect started._

 _Jess flipped through the pages. His writing was so terrible then that he had to laugh. All the emotions that came to him back then shot back again and made him think about seeing her - or what looked like her - outside Truncheon today. What if he didn't imagine it? What if Rory had been here? He wasn't sure he could bare it either way - if she was or she wasn't. He just knew those feelings were back and he wanted to push them aside but couldn't._

 _Finally, he shut the notebook. Jess shoved it back where he found it and stood up. He walked up to Matt and Chris where they were working. They both looked up at him with no clue what to say so he spoke first._

 _"You guys wanna go out tonight?"_

...

Rory never really liked the drive to or from New York city and Stars Hollow. She wasn't even sure why. Maybe because after all this time of living in the city, it didn't exactly feel like home. She felt like she was leaving home rather than going to it. That put an uneasy thought in her stomach.

There was one thing making this drive even more unbearable. That kiss. Her and Jess kissed. They had kissed before, plenty of times, more than enough for this to be a surprise. But yet it was. It was the first time they had kissed in nine years. And if that night in Truncheon hadn't happened, it would have been twelve years since the last time they kissed.

Why had she kissed him? Rory questioned herself over and over. No matter how many times she thought it over, she still wasn't sure if she should regret it. It was a good kiss. Hell, it was great kiss. But that was no surprise either. Jess had always been an amazing kisser.

The cars parted and she drove a little faster with the car in front of her gone. The speed took away the thoughts for a few seconds until she had to slow it down again. Even though she couldn't regret it just yet, she had lots of guilt. There was finally no boyfriend, or actually no husband either, but there was them and rebuilding their friendship. How awkward would that kiss make them? She wasn't sure she could take it if it went back to how it was. Rory had really wanted Jess in her life.

Her phone rang and she glanced over at it. Hitting speaker, she answered. "Hey, mom."

"Hey, sweets," Lorelai said from back in Stars Hollow. "How's the drive?"

"There's a lot of traffic," Rory laughed. "But its good.I should be home soon."

"That's great," Lorelai replied. "I just wanted to check in, see how you were."

"Mom," Rory shook her head. "I've only been gone a little while so far."

"I know," her mother half-whined. "But I miss you. When are you coming back?"

Rory laughed again. "I'm not sure. I'm gonna ask my boss if I can write away from the office more often."

"You'll do that?" Lorelai gasped. "For little ole me?"

Rory smiled. "Of course. But since I'm not the pregnant one, it might be hard."

"Blasphemy," Lorelai said.

"So you want me to get pregnant so I can stay home with you?" Rory asked.

Lorelai made a face. "Yeah, not a good plan."

They talked for a few more minutes until Luke walked in the door.

...

 _Rory sat in her car staring at the same building entrance for the past half hour. She told herself she shouldn't be here, that it wasn't a good idea. But yet here she was, in front of the one place she should never be allowed to go to ever again._

 _It looked the same as the last time she was here. Rory assumed there was no interior designer or exterior for that matter. He never seemed like the kind to care about that stuff, even when Luke fixed up the upstairs apartment. She took deep breaths to calm herself and maybe gain some courage. But so far, it wasn't working._

 _Last time she was here was with the campaign. A friend and co-worker of Rory's had found this amazing bookstore that was run by these cute guys. She dared say one of the guys was insanely gorgeous with tanned skin and dark hair. She knew someone who fit that description who owned a bookstore and happened to live right here in Philadelphia too._

 _The door opened and a girl walked in. A couple of guys walked in. Another group of girls. A guy and a girl. So many people so much business. She was proud of what he had accomplished here. She didn't want to get in the way._

 _Somehow she was, though. She always was. There was times she believed she helped his path to here but right now, staring at the place where she tore out his heart and stomped on it only to continually torture it - she wasn't so sure. Its not like she was even supposed to be here. Rory was on break for the campaign. It was close to elections and they gave her a couple extra breaks. For some reason, she jumped into her car and came here. To Philadelphia. To Jess. It was becoming less and less of a good idea._

 _Rory stared at the wedding ring on her hand. She knew she can't talk to him. He didn't come to the wedding. She understood completely. If Jess was getting married and had invited her, she wouldn't want to see it either. There was too much there to watch it._

 _She dialed a number on her phone, waiting for them to pick up. Finally a familiar voice from Rory's childhood answered and she smiled. "Hello?"_

 _"Hey, Lane," she said._

 _"Rory!" Her friend said happily. "Hi! How are you? How's Obama?"_

 _"Everything is good," she answered and could hear the part that's a lie in her voice. "I'm on a break and was gonna come see you guys, actually."_

 _"Seriously?" Lane exclaimed. "Come! Everyone will be so excited to see you!"_

 _Rory put the car into drive after starting and talked over her cell's speaker. As she pulled out of her space, she could have sworn that she saw someone who looked remarkably like her Dodger by the window._

 **A/N: I hope you liked it! Just remember the flashbacks bounce back and forth, if you have any questions about them, feel free to ask ;) And I'll get to the important ones definitely. They will be in every chapter and the longer the fic goes, the bigger the reveal :) Plus, not much happens in the flashbacks of this chapter per se but it's still pretty big (maybe? possibly? what do you think? lol)**

 **You guys rock, btw. I've said it before but thank you so much for everything! I'm glad you're all on board with my story and my writing and it makes me so happy that you're sticking with me through this xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

The whole way home, Rory was frustrated. Everytime she was stopped at a light, she went crazy. The highways were crammed with traffic and she just wanted to get home. Home and away from these thoughts.

The feel of Jess' lips still clung to her own, tempting her and haunting her. It had been hours since it happened but yet her lips had still felt warm from his. Rory wanted to erase it from her thoughts but she couldn't. Honestly, she didn't entirely want to. Kissing Jess had been...well, like coming home.

When she finally entered her apartment, Rory threw down her purse and her luggage. She sighed heavily and went straight for her hall closet. She piled out all she could before reaching the absolute back wall. There was a box standing there in the shadow, illuminated by the light on the ceiling.

The Jess box.

As she pulled it out of the closest, she noticed the dust piling on the top. Rory wiped it off with her hand and carefully lifted the lid.

The box hasn't been opened in years. In fact, she hasn't thought she looked at it since she was nineteen years old. But here she was, thirty years old, and afraid of what teenage Rory had put in here. First, she pulled out a small white bear. It wasn't as new as it once was but still in a good condition. She smiled as she remembered that night at the winter carnival. It seemed like forever ago but still in some ways, it felt like yesterday.

Next was the ear buds from the Distillers concert. Rory closed her eyes and remembered that message she left for him and how she told him to erase it without listening. If he did hear it, he never told her. But she said she didn't want to be that girl and yet, there she had been, that girl.

Rory remembered the actual concert next. She remembered Jess holding her hand as they found their seats and how he bought her food and drinks without asking if she needed it because he just knew. She remembered standing up the majority of it and how he had moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Rory had leaned her head back and closed her eyes, swaying to the music in his arms. Jess would occasionally kiss her hair, her ear or her cheek and she just melted into him. She had forgiven him for not calling her that week right in that instant. She knew she was being that girl, but being that girl didn't feel so wrong. It felt right to be here, to be with Jess.

Finally, Rory opened her eyes and looked down at the earbuds in her hand. She placed them next to the teddy bear on the ground and shuffled through to the next item. It was her copy of Howl. She let out a small smile as she remembered the night she and Jess first met. Flipping through the pages, his margin notes stood out the most. There was a pang in her chest as she remembered senior year of college, when Paris gave away the rest of her books with Jess' margin notes. Rory tried so hard to get them back but it was so luck.

She was grateful she kept this one in the box. It was the first of her books he had done that to, after all.

Putting the book aside, she found an old T-shirt of his. They'd been hanging out at Luke's apartment above the diner and Rory had gone to rinse her cup. The faucet streamed water right at her, soaking her shirt. Jess swore and went and grabbed a shirt of his for her to change into. He knew she didn't want to wear a soaking, see-through shirt for the rest of the afternoon and she was grateful. After that day, she never returned it.

There was a piece of her basket that had broken off after their lunch inside the box. His words came back to her. _Ernest only has lovely things to say about you._ She looked through more items. A receipt for the ice cream they got before their accident. A napkin from Luke's he wrote a note on. A picture of the two of them her mom had taken.

She stopped when she found the picture. Jess' expression in it looked truly happy and she wasn't sure she ever noticed quite how much before. Not even at the time it was taken. Rory even saw a light in herself, one that if she was honest had been missing these past ten years.

Rory hadn't realized she was crying until a tear fell on her hand. She dropped the picture back into the box and wiped at her eyes. She was determined to not cry especially right now. Why was she crying anyway? Because they kissed? Or because of the memories? To be honest, she wasn't quite sure.

Her hands quickly packed what she took out back in, ignoring the remaining items in the box. Rory pushed the box back inside her closet and put everything else back in its place too. She wiped furiously at her eyes again, feeling the wetness forming.

It didn't make sense to cry. She thought she had cried all her Jess tears many years ago. The last time she had cried over him was the night of the open house nine years ago. Rory had felt so guilty over what happened - how she treated him, what she tried to do, about Logan, hurting herself while hurting Jess. No matter how hard she tried to, she could never get that broken look on his face out of her head or the way his voice sounded.

She remembered vividly pulling out of her parking space near Truncheon and driving into the street. But less than five minutes later, she found an empty parking lot and pulled in, her tears spewing out faster than she could process. Her hands slammed on the steering wheel, her feet kicked at the car's floor. Rory had made herself a promise that night that after what she came there to do, she didn't deserve to cry over Jess Mariano.

And yet here she was, crying over him. This time she wasn't even sure why either.

Her cell phone rang and she jumped out of her memories. Rory went over to her purse and looked at the caller ID.

It was him.

Jess.

Too afraid to answer and hear what he might say, she just stood there and let it ring. Finally it stopped and it chimed to tell her she got a new voicemail.

Hesitantly, she picked up the phone and called her voicemail. The programmed voice told her she had one new and one saved. Then she heard his voice and it didn't matter she just had been crying or that she looked in his box.

"Hey, Ror," Jess said. She could picture him upstairs in Luke's apartment, his head down and shuffling his feet. His hand would either be in his pocket or running through his short hair. "I hope you made it home okay. Uh...damn it. I wanted to...to tell you I was sorry. For what happened, before you left. I'm not sure how exactly it happened. Maybe because it's me and its you. Who knows? But..."

She heard Jess sigh and smiled a little. He was nervous. She was glad to know she wasn't the only one who still was so affected being around the other. He continued. "I'm sorry. I said that, I know. I hope this doesn't make anything awkward and I wanted to tell you I was leaving next week. So if this, you and me, is awkward...I'll be gone. Thats, uh, it. Bye, Rory."

He hung up after that. Rory hit replay on the message and just paid attention to his nerves. She smiled to herself, tears gone, as she felt seventeen all over again.

...

 _"What about this one?" Lorelai asked her daughter as she pointed to another box._

 _Rory walked over to it and looked through it. It was another box of books. "It's books. I'll take it."_

 _Lorelai smiled and rubbed her pregnant belly affectionately. "How many boxes of books is that?"_

 _"Not too many," the younger girl laughed. "Most of them are at the loft."_

 _Her mother nodded. "What's this one?"_

 _Rory made a face. She didn't remember packing a box that size. Instead of answering, she walked over to it and peaked inside only to shut it just as quickly. "Um, I'm going to leave that one here."_

 _"Hun?" Lorelai asked. She noticed the change in Rory's expression. "What is it?"_

 _"That's the..." She started then sighed. "It's the Jess box."_

 _Lorelai's eyebrows rose. "The Jess box is still down here?"_

 _Rory nodded. "I never put it away with the Dean box."_

 _"And you want it stay here?" She asked. "How come? You want me put it away, too?"_

 _She shook her head. "I don't know."_

 _"Hun?"_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _Lorelai walked closer and both her hands went to Rory's arms, rubbing them soothingly. "You sure you went us to put it away?"_

 _Rory shook her head again. "I can't take it with me."_

 _"Uh-huh," Lorelai nodded with a smirk. "I don't think Logan will be too thrilled if you brought a box of ex-boyfriend memories home."_

 _Rory didn't catch on to joking. "Probably not."_

 _Lorelai noticed the way Rory was staring at the box. "Don't tell him what it is."_

 _"What?" Her head turned back to her._

 _She shrugged. "Take it. It means something to you still. You obviously don't want it hidden in an attic. So, take it with you. Tell Logan its a box of stuff you couldn't part with."_

 _"And if he figures it out?" Rory asked._

 _"Is there anything in the box that will show its a Jess box without him knowing what each thing means?" Lorelai countered._

 _She thought about it. She couldn't remember anything besides the book. But he didn't know of Jess' margin notes and Paris had thrown out her other books he had done it in. She sighed. "No."_

 _"Okay," her mom nodded. "Its settled then."_

 _"You don't think it's crazy to bring a box of stuff from a previous relationship into the home I share with my husband?" Rory questioned._

 _Lorelai smiled softly at her daughter. "I think Logan loves you and you love him. I think you never exactly let go of a certain bad boy and even though I will never understand, and if that box is important to you, you should have it."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Really."_

 _Rory bit her lip and looked at the offending box. "Okay."_

 _"Now move it out of here because I can't bend," Lorelai teased as she pointed to her bump._

...

Jess was bored. He sat at a Luke's upstairs table while Tom held blueprints out for him. Luke decided it'd be better to do this upstairs - hoping Kirk would not come up and vet involved - which only led to Tom taking over the apartment.

"Wouldn't it be easier to do this at Lorelai's house?" Jess interrupted.

Luke and Tom looked over at him. Tom spoke first. "That would be better."

"Would it help move the plans along faster?" Luke asked.

Tom and Jess both answered. "Yes."

"She's at work, right?" Jess asked his uncle.

"Yes," Luke said. "She brought Evan with her so the house would be empty."

"It'd be easier to look at the house and determine everything that needs to be done," Tom cut in.

After a few more minutes and wrapping up the blueprints, they started a walk down to Lorelai's house. Jess walked slowly behind them as his thoughts traveled to Rory. He left that stupid message and had been kicking himself ever since. He was hoping working on the house would change his thoughts but so far, it hadn't been working.

When they got to the Gilmore/Danes house, Jess took a deep breath. It may not be her house anymore but he couldn't help but be transported to high school when he saw it. Luke opened the door and he and Tom went right to the living room to check out what they can do. Jess, on the other hand, walked to the kitchen and stared at the doorway he knew so well.

The door was only slightly open and it was Evan's room now but he could picture standing right there fourteen years earlier. Jess remembered her smile as she turned around and introduced herself and how he knew he was doomed as soon as he saw this unreal, beautiful girl sitting there.

...

 _Jess woke up grumpy. That wasn't an unusual thing but today, it was different. He reached his arm over to the other side of the bed and found it empty. He sat up instantly and looked around the room. "Jen?"_

 _There was no answer so he got out of bed and threw a shirt on. He spotted her in the kitchen, drinking coffee on a stool. "Morning."_

 _"I called for you," he walked into the room then sat beside her. "Thought you left."_

 _"I didn't," she shrugged. "I just woke up early. Couldn't sleep."_

 _Jess nodded. "Because of what I told you?"_

 _She looked at him through her eyelashes. "Yes."_

 _"I thought you wanted to know," he defended. Jess wasn't even sure why he was getting defensive._

 _"I did," Jen started. "I thought I did."_

 _"And now?" He asked._

 _"I didn't know...the extent of your feelings," she explained._

 _"There's an extent?" He asked. "What does that mean?"_

 _"It means..." She sighed, took a deep breath. She did everything but look Jess in the eye. "It means I think you're still in love with her."_

 _Jess shook his head. "I told you, it's ov-"_

 _"It's not over," she cut in. "You think it is but its not. Its so clear how you talk about her...you still love her."_

 _"She's married," he said._

 _"That wouldn't change your feelings for her," she explained. "She could be whatever and you'll still be in love with her."_

 _"That's not true," he said and moved closer to his girlfriend. "I love you. You know that."_

 _"I'm not saying you don't," she smiled softly. "I'm just saying I'm not the only one you love."_

 _Jess closed his eyes then reopened them. "Rory is...she's my past. She is long gone. Even if there still are...feelings, its long over."_

 _"Jess?"_

 _He looked at her. Really looked at her for the first time this morning. Her eyes were red like she had cried but the tears were long gone. She had no make-up on which was weird for her because she had a routine where she always liked to put that on first thing in the morning. He nodded and waited for her next words. Before starting, she took his hands in hers._

 _"I love you," she smiled. "I know you love me. But I also think that maybe...maybe this isn't right for you. To be with me while you want to be with her."_

 _"I don't want to be - "_

 _"Let me finish?" She asked and he nodded, waiting. Jen looked deep into his eyes. "I think you believe you don't want to be with her. Maybe because she's married, maybe because of all the hurt you caused each other in the past. I'm not sure. But sooner or later, you're gonna want her back for real. And I'm not sure I'm ready for that or will ever be."_

 _Jess sighed and looked down at their hands. "What can I say to make this better?"_

 _"Don't say anything," she smiled again. "If you say anything, I might regret this."_

 _"Regret this?" She nodded. "Us as this or...?"_

 _"Breaking up with you," she confirmed._

 _"Jen."_

 _She touched the side of his face and his cheek leaned into her palm. "Let me go. I'm not saying goodbye forever. We'll still see each other at work. Just, I want you happy. And I know you won't be happy trying to replace Rory."_

 _"Me and her are never going to be anything but the past," he said. It wasn't a plea or a defense. It was what he really believed especially when he considered the blonde dick at Yale into the equation. "Breaking up because I wouldn't be happy with anyone but her is pointless. I'll just be alone, then."_

 _"And if you're still alone in the future," she said as she tool her hand away. "Then maybe we can work on this. But I think you need to think about how you feel about her through before another girl falls in love with you."_

 _Jen stood up from her seat and his hand that was still holding hers moved with her. Jess stared right into her eyes. "Wait."_

 _She shook her head. "I'm gonna get dressed and go. Its better that way."_

 _She let go of his hand and walked towards the bedroom, grabbing her stuff and shutting the door. Jess waited just a few minutes before the door opened again. Jen walked out dressed in jeans and a tank top, purse slung on her arm and make-up done._

 _He thought she was going to walk right out but instead she walked over to Jess. He was in the exact spot he had been in before she left the room. Jen kissed him softly on the lips and smiled as she pilled away. "Goodbye, Jess Mariano. I'm gonna miss you."_

 _"Me, too," was all he could manage before she walked out the door._

...

"You mind giving a hand here, Jess?" Luke called to him.

"Yeah, sure." Jess broke out of his trance and walked into the living room where Tom was holding a tape measurer against the back wall by the TV.

He went to help do the measurements to see if a door would fit with the space they have. When Tom was done marking it down, Luke walked over to Jess. "You sure you have to leave next week?"

"I'm sure," he nodded. "Matt called. Said they needed me to come in and meet some people."

"Okay," was all Luke said. "Come back when you can?"

"Of course, Uncle Luke," Jess gave him one of his trademark smirks as they went back to work.

 **A/N: Just a few things ;) Remember Jen is mentioned early on in the fic. She will make appearances in present day so I wanted to get that out there. There will be a continuation of Rory's flashback. Either the next chapter or maybe later if it works better that way but it will be in here.**

 **And The Distillers concert - I got the idea of that from a tumblr post that said headcanon of them cuddling just like that during one of the songs. I can't remember which one though, sorry :( But I thought it'd be nice to make a little shout-out to that post in here because it's kind of my headcanon too.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Another chapter so soon! I'm trying really hard to keep them coming for you guys so I hope you like this one too! Thank you for all of your reviews once again! They mean so much! :)**

Jess tossed his bag down on the ground as soon as he entered his apartment. He just drove home from Stars Hollow, after a week of helping bang down the wall in Lorelai's living room. Luke asked Tom to get right to work ever since Jess had informed his uncle that his friends needed him back at work because they were talking to new writers.

His apartment was quiet. He didn't even have much besides what he needed. Jess kicked his bag aside and went straight to the kitchen, grabbing a beer out. He looked around from the view of his kitchen and sighed. It was sad to see how this was all he had by now. Most people his age were married, parents, divorced, in AA, jail...not that he wanted to be in jail. But this was all he had.

His cell phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket to see it was Chris. "Yeah?"

"You back yet, man?" He asked.

"Hello to you, too," Jess smirked. "I just got home."

"Good," Chris said. "Then get your ass over here."

Jess let out a laugh. "Excuse me?"

Chris didn't let on to Jess' joking tone. "The writer got the days mixed up. They came here now instead of tomorrow."

Jess nodded, making a face he was glad his friends couldn't see. "So you want me now?"

"Please," Chris sighed. "We could really use it."

"I'll be right over," Jess told him and hung up. He sighed, looking around his apartment. It was just as he left it after Luke's call, before he went to Stars Hollow. He put the beer back in the fridge and pulled his keys out of the door, locking it behind him.

His work wasn't far from him. Jess parked his car across the street and got out, shutting the door behind him. His keys jangled in his pocket while his phone vibrated in the other. It was probably Chris calling if he was there yet so he didn't need to check. Chris would know within a few seconds anyway.

There was a tall man standing by Chris and Matt. Jess wasn't sure he had ever seen him before but figured that was the writer who rushed him out the door as soon as he got home. Introductions were fast and they soon fell into an easy conversation about what they do at Truncheon and what would happen if they published this man.

Over an hour and a half later, the man shook all three of their hands and walked out with a publishing deal. Jess sighed and ran his hands through his hair while Chris and Matt high-fived at getting another author for the company.

"Now that I'm here," Jess said to his friends. "I might as well work."

"Oh, thank God," Matt laughed. "We have papers for you to look through."

"Papers?" Jess questioned as he walked to his desk. There was a huge pile on top of it. "What is this?"

"That is the new book from Garrett," Chris explained. "He said he wanted us to ask you if you'd edit for him. Something about Directly Darkly inspiring it."

Jess nodded. "Huh."

"Is that a yes?" Chris asked.

"I think its a huh," Matt answered.

"Its a 'I'll think about it'," Jess replied.

He sat down at starting looking through the pile. Chris walked to the front to talk to people who just walked in. Matt, on the other hand, stood in front of Jess' desk with an expectant expression on his face.

Jess ignored him and keep looking through the pages until he couldn't anymore. "What the hell are you looking at, man?"

Matt shrugged. "Did you see her?"

"See who?" Jess asked even though he had a feeling if who he meant.

"You know who," Matt urged.

Jess decided to pretend he didn't know he knew. "Jen?"

"Not Jen," Matt shook his head. "But what, you've seen Jen?"

"She lives two blocks from here," he told him.

Matt shrugged again. "So?"

Jess shrugged himself. "So, I see her from time to time."

"Okay," Matt held a finger up. "We will get back to that later but first, I need to know if you saw, you know, her."

Jess sighed. He really wouldn't let it go. "Rory?"

"That's the one!" He clapped his hands together and pointed at Jess. "I knew you knew who I meant."

"And you should know to mind your own business," Jess told him.

Matt just laughed. "Well? Was she there? Did you two have long-awaited moments where you stared into the other's eyes and felt like you missed out in what could have been?"

"No."

"Seriously?"

"No as in not talking about this or her," Jess continued. "Of fucking course I saw her, Matt. Her mom is married to my uncle. I went down there for my uncle. Kind of hard to not see her then."

"And that's it?" Matt pressed on.

"That's it," he sighed. Jess didn't want to get into it, especially when he himself didn't know what to think about it. It was a week since he saw rory. A week since that kiss. A week since he left that message. Rory still hadn't called back, either.

He definitely did not want to get into it.

Matt stared at him for a moment than gave up. "Okay, fine. Don't tell me."

"There's nothing to tell," Jess argued.

Matt pouted. "I thought we were friends, man."

"Shit, you're using that?" Jess laughed. "I'm not falling for that, Matt."

His pout quickly disappeared. "You will tell me. Maybe I'll get you drunk and you'll spill your guts."

He started walking away and Jess started laughing then shouted. "You better buy me dinner first!"

Matt laughed too now and Jess got to work on Garrett's pages. He got about a fourth done when Chris came back in because someone asked for him. Jess left his desk and went to talk to the customer. He was stunned when he saw who stood there. It wasn't a customer.

It was Rory.

...

 _Jess stood still with his hands crossed in front of him, one hand holding his other wrist. He felt very formal in his suit and at the front of a church. He looked beside him at Luke and remembered why he had to do this._

 _Lorelai walked in with Rory at her side, a bundle in her arms. Behind them trailed a not pleased but also not displeased Emily Gilmore and her husband, Richard Gilmore. Jess took a deep breath and looked at his uncle. Luke gave a similar expression to how Jess felt._

 _The four of them walked to the two men. Lorelai kissed Luke on the cheek when she reached her husband. Rory hugged him and gave Jess a small smile. He tried his best to return it. Emily turned to her son-in-law. "Where is the priest?"_

 _"I think he stepped away for just a few minutes," Luke answered. "He should be right back."_

 _Richard nodded. "That's good. We have a few moments then."_

 _Emily was about to tell him she must rather the christening start then do small talk when the priest walked in. Everyone turned all professional and did as the priest asked. Rory and Jess took their place as god-parents and soon enough, the small ceremony was over. Jess was relieved to be out from under Emily's glare._

 _Once they were outside, Lorelai passed Evan to Luke who tucked him inside his car seat. Rory was about to come talk to Jess when Richard started speaking to him. "Hello, Jess."_

 _"Mr. Gilmore," Jess nodded and shook the older man's hand._

 _"Nice to see you again," he said. "Will we see any new books from you?"_

 _"Soon," Jess nodded._

 _"Very good to hear, young man," he smiled at him. "Its better to keep going even once you've had success."_

 _"Richard!" Emily said._

 _Jess watched as Richard nodded to him thrn went to his wife. She looked angry and it probably had to do with him. Rory took that opportunity to say hello._

 _"That was really nice," she smiled._

 _"What?" Jess smirked. "Your grandfather's a good guy."_

 _"I didn't mean that," she told him. "Well, yeah that was but in there."_

 _She nodded towards the church, to where they had just christened Evan. He shook his head. "That was nothing."_

 _"No," she smiled. "It was something. I'm glad you did it."_

 _"Luke asked," he said as if that explained everything._

 _"But you didn't have to," she countered._

 _"I know," he said. "But the kid...I don't know. I feel like it won having you and got the short stick with me."_

 _"Stop that," she shook her head._

 _"What?"_

 _"Talking like you're not good enough."_

 _Jess smirked. "Is this where the pom-poms come in?"_

 _She smiled slightly. "No pom-poms. Jess, you are good enough."_

 _"I'm not," he disagreed. "But thanks for saying it."_

 _She was about to argue more on it but Luke came up to them, holding his wife's hand. "We're gonna head to the restaurant now. You ready to go?"_

 _"I think I'm gonna head out, actually," Jess said to his...aunt. Just thinking that made him shudder._

 _"What?" Luke asked. "Why?"_

 _"Work," he covered._

 _Rory looked at him. "They can't wait?"_

 _"Nah," he said. "They're lost without me."_

 _"Okay," Lorelai said. "Thank you for coming."_

 _"No problem," he nodded at the two blue eyed women and hugged his uncle goodbye. After a moment by Evan in his car seat and a bye to the elder Gilmores, he was in his car and speeding out the lot. Rory watched until he was out of sight._

 _On the drive home, Jess blasted every rock song he could find. He skipped past Guns of Brixton and every song that reminded him of her. He really wish it was simpler to let her go, to get her out of his life. A part of him missed that time he was having a crap life because he didn't have to come back and see her as much as he was lately._

 _When he got home, he didn't technically go home. Instead, he knocked on a familiar door and it opened right away. Jen smiled at her boyfriend and he just kissed her, trying to forget the pain he felt every time he was around Rory._

...

"What are you doing here?"

Rory tried to smile. "Luke said you came home."

"Yeah, I do," Jess just stared at her. He looked over at Chris who finally got the hint to give them privacy. "That doesn't explain why you're here, though."

"I came because of your message," she explained.

He was silent for a moment. Jess wasn't sure what to say. "You could have called."

"I tried," she said. "But it felt so fake, you know? I wanted to explain to you how we don't have to be awkward but anyway I said it didn't feel right. I wanted to talk face-to-face."

Jess crossed his arms. "I don't really understand where you're going with this. Is it awkward or is it not?"

She shook her head. "Its not. I don't want it to be."

"Rory..." He sighed. Her blue eyes waited for him to continue. "I don't want it to be, either. But this, right now, this feels awkward."

"I know." Her voice had sounded defeated. "This is exactly what I didn't want."

He sighed and looked down at his feet until finally bringing his eyes back up to Rory. She was looking behind him though. Jess turned to see what she was looking at to find Matt watching. "Maybe we should find somewhere else to talk."

"That might be a good idea," she agreed.

Jess motioned for her to go upstairs and she walked ahead. He put his hand on her back until she walked up. When she got upstairs, Rory stood there not sure what to do. He pointed to the room he once vacated because he knew it would be empty.

"You can sit," he told her.

Rory just nodded, looking around the room. There was a bed and a nightstand. There was a chair and a dresser drawer too but the room was blank. "Who's room is this?"

"No one," he answered. "It was mine a long while ago. Now its just for when someone stays over as just a guest."

"Okay." She just stood in the doorway while Jess sat on the bed.

"Seriously, Ror," he laughed. "Sit. Its not helping it not feel less awkward if you just stand there."

She laughed too. "You're right. I'm not doing good at this, am I?"

"I don't think anyone's good at this," he told her which helped ease her nerves a little.

"Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," she said in a low voice.

He shook his head. "I should be sorry. I think I was the one who leaned first."

"I can't even remember who did," she smiled. "But I should have pulled away at least. I'm sorry I let it go that far."

"Rory," he laughed. "Its not like we...had sex on the street. We kissed. Nothing new."

She tried not to blush at the way he whispered the sex part of the sentence. "Okay. Good."

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

Jess took a deep breath, desperate to word this right. "That you do want to be friends."

"Of course," she answered without hesitation.

"Then we will," he said. "The kiss...forgotten. We are just friends."

She wasn't sure why that made her feel so terrible but she nodded and pretended it didn't. "Okay, deal."

He reached his hand out for her to shake and at first she laughed then shook it. Rory stood up and Jess did too, holding his hands out in front of him. "No hugs. We know what happened last time."

Her eyes widened. "I thought we were -"

"Pretending it didn't happen," he finished. "I know. I had to make one more joke though. Sorry."

She smiled. "Its okay. I should get going anyway."

Suddenly what was so obvious hit him. "What are you doing here anyway? I mean I know why you said but did you drive here from New York City just to talk to me?"

"No," she replied. "I sent in my articles yesterday for work and they gave me a couple days off so I'm going to see mom after this."

"Okay," he accepted.

"I'm glad we had this talk," she smiled at him.

He smiled back. "Me, too."

"Bye, Jess."

"Bye, Rory."

Their words felt eerily familiar to their tones when they said goodbye after she skipped school. Before he could register much else, she was walking out the room and down the stairs. His phone vibrated in his pocket and Jess took it out to see what it was.

There was two missed calls. One message was from Luke, telling him how working with Tom was. The other was from Rory. She called but didn't leave a message like Luke had.

She was the one who called him when he got to work earlier.

...

Rory got into her car and looked up at the building she had just gotten out of. She felt a sense of déjà vu as she pulled out of her space and drove away. Her phone rang when she was fifteen minutes away. She out it on speaker and answered.

"Hey, mom."

"Loin fruit!" Lorelai exclaimed. She heard Evan repeat her words in the background and laughed. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she answered. "Busy."

"Aw, hun," her mother said. "Being back in New York means a lot of work huh?"

"A real lot," she said. "I'm actually going to get coffee right now. My boss gave me a few minutes so you called at a good time."

"Ha!" Lorelai gasped. "I knew I had psychic abilities!"

"You do," Rory laughed. "I have to order soon. I'm right at the door, okay, mom?"

"Okay, sweets," she said. "Call me back as soon as you can?"

"Of course."

They said their goodbyes and Rory shut her phone. She didn't want her mother call back when she already felt guilty about the lies she had just told. She felt the urge to pull over and get her mixed emotions out but instead, she just kept driving home.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This week might not have two updates sadly because its so crazy busy for me but I'm hoping to get to another one asap :)**

 **And I always forget to do this but I don't own anything sadly. If I owned Gilmore girls or any of the cast (especially Milo!) I'd be making my own GG movie and also never give him up either haha.**

Jess got home that night very confused. He wasn't sure what to think of Rory's visit earlier and he wasn't even sure he believed her about not only visiting him. He had no choice but to believe her though because what else was there? She couldn't be coming just to see him. That ship sailed long ago.

He sat down on his couch and grabbed a book off the table beside it. Minutes passed where he tried to read but the words were not going through to his brain. Jess shook his head, not even realizing what book he left there and put it back down. He looked around the room for something to do, anything to make his thoughts not wander back to where they so desperately wanted to go.

That did not work. Jess ended up walking over to his bookshelf, to the first ever copy of The Subsect printed. As he flipped through the pages, he remembered how the book came to be. He remembered that stupid self-help book Luke gave him. He remembered reading it in hopes he and Rory can at least repair their friendship and get to a better place. Anything was better than where they were at that point.

Jess had a whole speech prepared that night when he left Stars Hollow. Luke offered he stay a few more days but he said no. He often thought about what would have happened if he had stayed? The Subsect probably wouldn't have happened, that was for sure. And what else? He wasn't so foolish to believe he and Rory were going to get back together and ride off into the sunset. Maybe that was why he left, to go right to her. Luke had given Jess Rory's dorm address with hesitation, but he had given it nonetheless. He was grateful his uncle didn't press on what he planned to do.

Honestly, he thought he was going to back out of the plan before he drove the 22.8 miles.

When he opened that door and saw Rory right there, standing in front of him, looking beautiful with her short hair that he liked on her, he almost stopped breathing. Then he saw Dean standing there as well and his speech stuck in his throat. He did not plan on that at all. Rory told Dean to go, surprising them both and even herself a little if he still could guess her thoughts. His speech turned new, telling her they were meant to be together and to run away with him.

He scared her off. He knew it. Rory looked so confused and terrified and he was kicking himself for coming on so strong. Jess knew he should have just followed the book but actually coming face to face with her, the idea of losing her again...to Dean, it made him crazy. After she said that final no, he backed off and walked right out. He drove back to New York City and started writing.

There was lots of different things he wrote about. He wrote about her and the way her hair would fall when she studied. He wrote about the giggle she would make when they were alone and he kissed her neck. Mostly he wrote about how he felt when he left her, that last sight of her getting off the bus and how she cried in Kyle's bedroom after he pushed her too far.

Jess walked over the door, where he put that dreaded red notebook he was looking at earlier. Usually he would never bring this home. It stayed kept locked up in his desk because one, Chris and Matt never dared look in his desk. And two - the most important of all, that he would never admit to - Jess couldn't bear what memories the red notebook held. He didn't even quite understand why now he had brought it home in his bag and was wanting to look through it.

He recalled being at a coffee shop in Lower Manhattan one afternoon. The night before Jess has gone drinking and hooked up with a random, faceless girl that he left before dawn. After going home and showering, he took the notebook with him, writing as he nursed his hangover and tried to pretend he didn't imagine that girl from the previous night was a certain blue-eyed brunette.

A man saw him writing and walked up to him. He called himself Matt and said he was in town looking for new poets. Jess didn't understand what this had to do with him until Matt pointed at the notebook.

"Are you a writer?" He asked.

Jess had shrugged. "Not really."

Somehow that conversation had led to Matt worming his way into Jess' life. He even soon read a draft of the red notebook's contents. But never the actual red notebook. Jess never let anyone but himself touch that book.

In a few weeks' time, Matt convinced Jess to come to Philadelphia with him and check out their publishing company. He was hesitant at first but reluctantly agreed. He felt exposed as Matt read the words he put down on paper. Jess felt like all his thoughts, all his fears, his heart was being exposed for everyone to see. Everything he felt about his mother, his father, Luke, his friends and especially her - _Rory_ \- was in there even if not directly said. He anxiously waited for them to finish.

Jess looked through the book. His handwriting scribbled all over pages and his heart on the line. He took deep breaths as he went back in time, refeeling everything he ever felt back then as if it was yesterday. The pain when she said no in her dorm room felt fresh all over again. Eleven years later and the thought of that night still managed to rip his heart open.

He slammed the notebook shut. Jess didn't even know his face was wet until he sniffled. He was crying. Quickly, he wiped his face and stood up, pacing and running his hands through his short hair. "What the fuck am I doing?"

He sighed, taking a deep breath and walked out the door. He couldn't take ot anymore. Ever since he saw her again this time, he couldn't get her off his mind. And it was more than usual. He didn't like it, didn't like this feeling. Jess took a long walk he hadn't done in a long time to a bar he hadn't been to in a while. It was the same bar he went to after that torturous open house. He stepped in and ordered a drink.

...

 _"Hello?"_

 _"Jess!"_

 _Jess closed his eyes. He should have guessed this phone call was coming. It had been a while since he had seen Liz and now that he was visiting Luke, she was sure to ask for a visit._

 _"Hey, Liz."_

 _"I wish you would call me mom," she said in a sad voice._

 _He felt bad but not bad enough to call her mom. There was too much...much there. "What's going on? Everything okay?"_

 _"Everything is fine," she assured him. "Luke told me you're in town."_

 _"Yeah," he nodded to himself and looked around the home of his teenage years. "For a little bit."_

 _"You should come see your sister!" She happily said. "You still haven't met her, Jess. And I really want you to know her."_

 _"Maybe," he replied._

 _Liz's next words sounded sad again. "Please come. I miss you."_

 _What was he supposed to say to that? That he missed her too? That they had more than a few good moments together in their past despite being mother and son? "Okay."_

 _"You will?" She asked excitedly._

 _Jess sighed, hoping he didn't regret this. "Yeah. How about now, actually? I'm not doing anything."_

 _"Really?!" She asked. "That would be fantastic! TJ isn't here though."_

 _"That's okay," he said, relieved. Jess was never fond of his step-dad no matter how good TJ treated his mother._

 _They made plans for ten minutes. Liz's place wasn't that far from Luke's and he figured the sooner he got it over with, the sooner he could go back to avoiding everything._

 _Jess knocked on his mother's door and waited. He was staring at the ground when she opened it up and his little sister was in her arms. She was ten months old, already looking like a year old. He smiled at her as soon as he saw Doula. He also knew he was a goner for his little sister the second he saw her._

 _Liz was pleasantly surprised to see Jess with Doula. She was curled into his lap when they sat on the couch. They looked so sweet. Once when she got up to get herself tea and Jess was talking to her. Doula lit up at her older brother and he did the same right back. She had a feeling that no matter what, her and Jess would be okay when she looked at her two kids together._

 _He finally left two hours later. Jess wasn't even sure how he was there so long. Before he left, he even made plans to come back and see Doula before he went to Philadelphia. Liz hugged him on his way out and he kissed his sister goodbye. Luke was smirking at him when he came back home, like he knew Jess caved and saw his mom. Neither said a word but Luke just gave him a look that told him he was proud of him._

...

There was a loud siren that woke Rory awake. She looked around her dark hotel room and down to herself as she remembered she fell asleep in a chair. It took her a while to remember why she was in a hotel but then Philadelphia and seeing Jess came back to her. It came back to her how she just didn't want to be driving anymore so she pulled into the first hotel. Rory wasn't even sure where she was.

She stood up and stretched, walking over to the window to see if she can see the cause of the siren. A car's lights were flashing right in the hotel's parking lot. Maybe someone had bumped into the car. Maybe someone tried to break in. "Shit."

She still wasn't in a driving mood and she wasn't sure how close she was to home. Rather than risk leaving and not being awake enough, she sat down on the bed. It was so comfortable compared to the chair she woke up in. Rory had an idea suddenly. Taking out her phone, she considered the chance of her actually saying what was happening - how she drive to Philly or her confused feelings for Jess.

Shaking her head, she decided she needed to say it to someone. Her mother would help but Rory didn't know if she wanted to tell her about this yet. He had always been a touchy subject for the two of them and finally now Lorelai and Jess were on good terms. Talking to her about mixed feelings on him might mess that up. Instead, she called the one person who would always tell her the truth and not let feelings get in the way.

The voice answered on the third ring. "Hello?"

Rory sighed in relief. "Hey, Paris."

"Rory?" She asked. "Its ten o'clock at night."

"I know," she said.

"Why are you calling at ten o'clock at night?" Paris continued. "You never do."

"I know," she repeated. "I was hoping for advice."

"On?" Rory imagined Paris crossing one of her arms while the other held a phone. "Be fast because Doyle and the kids are asleep and I was hoping to be soon, as well."

Rory took a deep breath. "Do you remember Jess?"

"The ex-boyfriend nephew of your mom's husband?" She said after a few silent seconds.

"That's the one," Rory confirmed. She was glad Paris never called him hoodlum or bad news as others had and still did.

"Yes, I do then," Paris replied suspiciously. "Why?"

"I saw him," she said into the phone.

Paris' response was fast. "So?"

"So I felt something," Rory added. "There was...feelings."

She imagined Paris nodding along, her debate face on. "What kind of feelings? Hate? Disgust? Annoyance? Like? Attraction? What was it?"

"I'm not sure," Rory bit her lip. "Maybe strong like. And...attraction."

"Oh, geez," Paris sighed.

Rory sat up straighter. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're not with Huntzberger anymore," Paris said maybe too bluntly. "Of course you have feelings for your ex. Doesn't this always happen, especially with Jess?"

"It doesn't always -"

Paris cut her off. "There's either two things here, Gilmore."

"Two things?" She questioned, wondering if she made the right choice in Paris but then remembering she did no matter what she says.

"One," Paris started without letting any silence exist. "You could be going back to something old and comfortable. You're divorced now. Maybe you want something familiar and Jess is definitely in your life some way or another since your mom married Luke."

"Right," Rory nodded. She was considering that option, that she only turned to him because he knew her so well. "But I wouldn't call our relationship comfortable. We had a lot of problems."

"Yeah, yeah," Paris cut in. "You like talking to him right?"

She closed her eyes then opened them again. "Right."

"There," Paris pointed out. "Comfortable."

Rory was getting anxious. "What was reason number two?"

Paris sighed, obviously had wanted to say more before moving on but letting it go. "That you love him. That you've always loved him. It would explain why you kissed him while with Dean and Logan but never kissed anyone else while you were him. And it would explain why you pined for a year after you broke-up."

"I didn't pine," Rory defended.

"Sure," Paris said dryly.

Rory was quiet for a moment, thinking of everything Paris said. Finally, she said something again. "I'm not in love with him."

"You're not?" Paris asked.

"No," she answered. "I was, a long time ago. But not now."

Paris didn't buy it. "Are you sure?"

"Sure," Rory lied. She was sure, not at all. That kiss they shared before she left definitely didn't help any either.

"Okay," Paris finally said. "Then I don't know. My life coach didn't teach me beyond that."

"Paris?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," she smiled. "For letting me talk. I know we rarely catch up now but I needed to say it to someone. And you were the only person I really wanted to."

"What about your mom?"

Rory shook her head. "She and Jess are...friendly, kind of, now. If she heard of this, she might not like him."

"But its not like he's chasing after you," Paris pointed out.

"I know," Rory said defensively. "I just don't want to make anything awkward."

Her mind trailed to the kiss again and to seeing Jess earlier. That conversation was awkward no matter how much she didn't want it to be.

Paris broke her out of her thoughts. "That makes sense. She might even want to tell Luke or worse, mention it to Jess."

"I didn't think of that," Rory sakd., now thankful she didn't tell her mom.

"Oh, Gilmore," Paris let out a dry laugh. "I always was smarter than you, you know."

"Was not!" Rory objected.

They laughed together and fell into an easy conversation. Paris started telling Rory how he kids were and what Doyle had been up to. Rory was glad. She had missed her friend too much.

...

Jess woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. Scratch that, pounding hangover. He remembered going to the bar and drinking, the girls who hit on him but he told them he had a girlfriend. He didn't even feel bad about the lie this time.

He got out of bed and groaned. His muscles ached and his legs barely felt stand-on-able. Ignoring the mild pain, he walked to the kitchen and made some coffee. Jess decided to take a shower while the coffee made and grabbed some clothes.

The shower made his head felt a little better. The aching muscles calmed under the warm water and he closed his eyes. That's twice he went out drinking in the past week - once with Rory and second because of her. He wondered when he transfered back to the old Jess. Old Jess pined over Rory and thought about her more often than he cared to admit.

He didn't like being like that again. Not after everything.

When his shower was finished, Jesse quickly got dressed and drank his coffee. He pretty much rushed out to work only to be stopped short when he walked through the door.

"Hey, Jess."

"Hey, Jen."

...

 _Matt closed turned over the last page of Jess' wpuld-be novel with a smile. "Its good."_

 _"Just good?" Jess asked._

 _"Really great," Matt clarified. "I'll have to ask Chris to read it, find you an editor. But with your permission, I'd like to publish it."_

 _"Are you kidding?" Jess was stunned._

 _Matt looked at him with a big smile. "Nope. This is really good."_

 _"Wow," he didn't know what else to say._

 _"Congrats, man," Matt slapped Jess on the arm. "You're about to be a published author."_

 _Later that night, after Matt was long gone and Jess was staying in some Philly motel, he stared at his phone. He had already called Luke to tell him he might have really good news soon but he didn't answer so it was only a message. He went through his small list of contacts and saw her name. Jess sighed, wanting to call her but resisting the urge. She'd just have gotten out of Yale for the summer. She didn't need him._

 _The next day, Chris met with Jess about the book. He had already started reading some of it and listened to Matt's opinion of it. Chris told him he didn't need any more, he wanted to publish it too. Jess thanked him and told him he hoped Chris didn't regret this. He had laughed and told Jess that he doubted he would._

 **A/N: Okay so more of a reminiscing chapter, especially for Jess, but I hope you still liked it! I really loved writing it especially including after 4x21 even if not being part of that nine years like I wanted to do.**

 **And more of Rory flashbacks are next! Took a break from hers in this chapter but they'll be back. Also I'm gonna move the story along some more - I want to at least get further in Lorelai's pregnancy. It's not gonna move too fast though so I hope you don't mind :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: sorry for the delay! I've been so busy the past days but I hope this update makes it worth the delay! And I plan on having another one before the end of the week so I hope that makes it better :) Also, I'm having trouble with the flashback staying in italics so I hope it worked.**

Jen smiled at Jess, walking closer to him. "I didn't expect to see you today."

"I work here," he pointed out.

"Right," she laughed without humor. "I just - I heard you went back to...there. Stars Hollow. I didn't know you would be back."

"I did," he nodded. "But there was work stuff so I came back."

"That's good," she told him.

"What are you doing here?" Jess asked. "I thought the new job made you really busy."

"It does," she laughed. "Way more busy then this place did. But I wanted to come see you."

"How come?" He asked then his face turned serious. "Is something wrong?"

"No," she shook her head. "Nothing is wrong. I, um...I don't know why this is so hard to say."

"What's hard to say?" Jess was starting to worry despite her words. He tried to make a joke to ease the tension. "Please don't tell me there is three year old kid out there waiting for me."

Jen laughed. "No kid. Don't worry about that."

He nodded. "Good."

"I met this guy a year ago," she started. "A really amazing guy. We instantly started dating and...well, we're getting married. He asked me to marry him."

"Oh," Jess simply said.

"I knew it was wrong to come here," she told him as she tried to walk out the door. Jess caught her arm and spun her to him.

"I'm happy for you, Jen," Jess told her honestly. "Really. I mean it."

"Thank you," she smiled but it quickly faded. "We were going to do it soon."

"How soon?" He was curious.

"Next weekend," she answered.

"Wow," Jess said.

Jen nodded at him. "I know. And I was wondering if you could come."

He took a deep breath. It felt like seeing that invitation to Rory's wedding all over again, just a lesser ache. "I don't know."

She nodded, understanding. "That's all right. Just let me know. Before."

"I will," Jess promised and he meant it.

She went for the door again and he called her this time instead of grabbing her arm. "Do you want to go for coffee?"

...

Rory had made it home safely that morning, closer to afternoon but she didn't care. She decided to call her mom after all because she hated keeping anything from her, especially her feelings. The phone only rang twice before Rory heard her mother's voice on the other end. "What's up, kid?"

"Not much," Rory shrugged. "I'm working on an article work sent me to edit."

"You're not writing your own?" Lorelai asked.

Rory bit her lip. How would she explain she called days off to go to Philadelphia and see Jess so they passed those articles to others? "Not today. I let another journalist have it "

"How come, sweets?" She should have known her mom wouldn't back off. "I've never known you to turn down a story."

"I wasn't in New York," she took a deep breath. "I went to Philadelphia."

"Philadelphia?" Lorelai questioned. "Why would you go to - oh."

"Yeah," Rory looked down at her hand in her lap.

Lorelai was quiet for a moment then spoke again. "You went to see Jess?"

"Yeah," she repeated. There was another pause. "Are you mad?"

"You're an adult," Lorelai replied.

"And?" Rory said.

"I'm not going to get mad at my adult daughter for going to see someone," she explained.

Rory nodded. "Okay."

"However," Lorelai added. "I will ask my adult daughter why she went to see that particular someone. Last I knew the two of you weren't close anymore and only went to dinner."

"We kissed," Rory admitted.

She could imagine her mother nodding. "In Philadelphia?"

"No," Rory said. "Well, yes, but that kiss was longer ago."

"So there's two kisses with Jess you're telling me about?" Lorelai asked. "Start from the earlier one."

"It was after me and Logan got back together," Rory sighed. "Remember that open house I went to of his that I met April at?"

"Yes," Lorelai said. "You said you weren't seeing Jess, you were just friends. I'm guessing you did not tell me the whole story."

"I don't know why I didn't," Rory cried out. "Wait, I do. I was embarrassed. He didn't know me and Logan were back together. I told him yes when he asked if I fixed everything. Then he kissed me and I pulled away because I couldn't do that to Logan."

"So you kissed him," Lorelai tried to follow along. "And what after you pulled away?"

"I told him I couldn't cheat on him the way he did to me," Rory went on. "Jess connected I was still with Logan and got upset. And I hurt him, Mom. Really bad. He'd never admit but the look on his face..."

"Hun, slow down," Lorelai told her. "Jess knew Logan? Back then?"

Rory swallowed. "I never told you about that either, did I?"

"No," Lorelai said sadly.

She took a moment to think of how to start. It was never east talking about that time her and her mom didn't speak. It was probably part of why she never mentioned seeing Jess or his part in their reunion or Yale. "He came to see me when I was at Grandma and Grandpa's."

They were both silent for a moment. Rory waited for lorelai to say something but when she didn't, Rory went on. "He had just published his first book and wanted to show me it. The second night after he came, we had planned on going to dinner but Logan came and invited himself. To say it did not go well would be an understatement."

"I see," Lorelai replied. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"We were fighting," she answered as if that explained all. "And because Jess... He was the one who got me to come yo my senses. He yelled at me, screaming what's going on with me. He asked why I was fighting with you, why did I drop pit of Yale... He reminded me of who I was and why I was being so stupid."

"Oh, hun," her mother just said. "I wish you'd told me that. I always wondered what made you come back."

"He was just standing there, so confused," Rory confessed. "Telling me he knows me better than anyone and how that wasn't me. And I was thinking how Jess was always someone people expected to fail, to amount to nothing. Yet there he was, 21 years old and a published author while I was getting drunk and a Yale dropout living at my grandparent's house."

"Honey..."

"I know."

"I wish I knew you felt like that," Lorelai told her.

"I was ashamed," she said.

Lorelai tried to reassure her. "You have nothing to be ashamed about."

"Nobody believed in him," she continued. "Besides me and Luke. Everyone believed in me and I let them down."

"You didn't let them down," Lorelai said.

Rory wiped a tear she hasn't noticed. "I let you down."

"Hey," Lorelai told her. "You could never ever let me down. Was I sad? Of course. But you can't let me down. Got that?"

"Got it," Rory smiled. "I was ashamed about seeing him in Philadelphia, too."

"Because you were with Logan and kissed him?" Lorelai asked.

"It was more than that," Rory admitted. "We had a great day together. I stayed past everyone else and we were just...us. It was easy. I planned on using him to get back at Logan. I planned on sleeping with him and didn't think of his feelings."

"But you didn't," Lorelai pointed out, trying to listen rather than asking her to expand.

"What I did was so much worse than Logan," she murmered.

"Worse than sleeping with an entire bridal party?" Her mother questioned.

"Yes," she sniffled. "There was always feeling there. And seeing him that fall and then at the open house, I realized how much it didn't go away. How much I still felt for him. And its exactly what I did to Dean. Feelings for someone else is so much worse and I kissed Jess while I was with both of them."

"It is," Lorelai agreed. She tried to sway her from her guilty thoughts. "What about this other kiss you didn't tell me about?"

"It happened before I left last week," Rory groaned and put her hand over her face. "I hugged him goodbye and before I could really register how close we were, we were kissing. And I wanted to see him, away from the gossip so I waited for him to go home so we can talk."

Lorelai was curious. "And what happened?"

"It was awkward," Rory sighed. "About as awkward as seeing him at your wedding was."

"Whoa," Lorelai joked. "Don't call my wedding awkward. My wedding was delightful."

Rory didn't continue the joke. "He hated me. I could tell how badly I hurt him from the first second I saw him."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you," Lorelai defended.

"He did then," she admitted. "And I would have, too."

"Rory?"

"Uh-huh?"

"How did you...feel about the kiss?" She asked. "When it happened. Did you regret it or were you glad it happened? What was it?"

"I think it was a mix," she answered. "I didn't completely wish it never happened. But I wasn't happy either. We just decided we'll be friends again and then like always, a kiss ruins it."

Lorelai nodded. "Were there feelings? Like in Philadelphia?"

She was quiet for probably too long. Lorelai didn't say anything, either, she waited for Rory to reply. "Yeah, there were."

"Hun, you know what I'm gonna say then," Lorelai told her. "You have to follow your heart."

Rory scoffed. "What if my heart doesn't make up its mind?"

Lorelai laughed. "Then we explain to it that's its a heart, it doesn't have a mind."

"Or ears," Rory added with a laugh. She turned serious. "I don't know, Mom. I'm not even sure how I feel."

"Okay," she said softly and didn't push. "Take time, sort it out. But if there is...tell me. I want to know these things, sweets."

"I know," Rory sighed. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you any of it."

"However I am glad I learned Jess got you back into school now," Lorelai said jokingly.

Rory laughed. "How come now?"

"Because - well I wouldn't say I like him - but I don't dislike him anymore," she explained. "I'd be much more hesitant to thank him then compared to now."

Rory laughed and they fell into an easy conversation about how the baby is doing and how Lorelai is doing with the baby.

...

 _"What's this?" Logan asked as soon as Rory walked into the door._

 _She smirked. "Hello to you, too, honey."_

 _He didn't smile back. She walked further into the room and looked down at the table where a box sat. "What's this?"_

 _"A box," she tried to joke. Rory knew exactly what it was but was too afraid to admit it._

 _"I see that," he said. "I also saw that it was buries in the back of a closet. When I opened it to see what it might be of, I found this."_

 _He threw something at her. It was an envelope, opened with an invitation inside. She recognized Jess' handwriting on the front and the Truncheon symbol. She swallowed hard as she stared at the paper on the floor._

 _"That's from Jess," she whispered._

 _"I noticed," he sneered. "Did you go see him? Did you reminisce?"_

 _"Yes, I saw him," Rory answered. "It was a whole ago though."_

 _"Uh-huh," Logan nodded. "When? Were we together?"_

 _"It was right after you left for the life and death brigade," she told him. "Before you got hurt and before Lane's wedding."_

 _He just kept nodding and walked closer. Rory felt her heart pounding. She never told him about what happened in Philly. "So when we were fighting, you went to go visit your ex-boyfriend."_

 _"It wasn't like that," she defended. "His work had an open house. They were showing off his book. I went for support."_

 _"Oh, I'm sure," he replied sarcastically._

 _"Logan!" She yelled. "Stop that. Nothing happened."_

 _"Really?" He asked. "So no staying overnight in his bookstore?"_

 _"No," she shook her head._

 _"It was a quickie then?" He kept going. "And I thought writers were passionate people."_

 _"There was no overnight," she yelled. "No quickie! I didn't sleep with him."_

 _"I never said sleep," he emphasized._

 _She made a face. "You're disgusting. And you're drunk."_

 _Logan ignored her comments. "Did you kiss him? Did he kiss you?"_

 _She was quiet for millisecond too long. He noticed and she watched his anger flare. He was only trying to get a rise out of her before, to just admit she saw her ex without telling him because they fought. But now he was furious she couldn't answer or admit ot to him._

 _"Where?" He asked._

 _Rory looked him straight in the face. "Excuse me?"_

 _"Where did he kiss you, Rory?" Logan said each word slowly._

 _She felt bile rise in her throat. "Are you seriously asking me if -"_

 _"Yes!" He exclaimed. "You're damn right I'm asking that!"_

 _Rory was furious too now. "I'm your wife, Logan. Do you really think its okay to ask me something like that? If some other guy had his mouth on me?!"_

 _"But he's not just some other guy, is he, Ace?" Logan threw back._

 _She snapped her mouth open and shut. "That isn't fair."_

 _"What's not fair about it?" He moved closer. "That I asked or that you want it happen? Or that he's more than just an ex-boyfriend?"_

 _"All of it!" She yelled, her anger raising higher. "Yes, I went to go see him! Yes, Jess and I dated! Yes, we kissed! And it was on the lips, nowhere else that your mind seems to assume!"_

 _"Were you ever going to tell me you kissed him?" He said in a quieter voice after a few seconds. "Or that you went to visit him?"_

 _Her heart was still pounding though it was calming down as his voice got softer. "I don't know."_

 _Logan looked around the room, to the box them back to his wife. "I don't like that guy."_

 _"I know," she nodded._

 _"I don't trust him, either," he added._

 _"I know," she said again._

 _"Will you tell me these things?" He asked. Logan was much calmer now that he had been just a minute ago. "Not that I'm expecting you to go kissing him or anyone else but I would like to know."_

 _Rory nodded and walked towards him, moving aside his empty beer bottle and the box that had been hiding the bottle from her view earlier. "Promise."_

 _She hugged her husband to her, feeling something in the pit of her stomach. The whole conversation - if you could even call it that with all the yelling and screaming - made her feel sick for multiple reasons. Rory pushed it aside and tried to make Logan feel better._

...

Matt was waiting in the doorway of Truncheon as Jess came back from coffee with Jen. He watched as they smiled at each other and said goodbye. Jess almost walked right into his friend when he entered.

"Well?" Matt asked as Jess passed.

Jess didn't even turn to look at him. "Well what?"

"So that's what you meant by you see Jen?" He asked. "You go out together?"

"I meant that I see her," Jess told him. "We're not going out."

"You seem friendly," he pointed out.

Jess smirked as he sat at his desk. "Well, we are friends."

"Just friends?" Matt continued his interrogation. "What about Miss Rory?"

"Miss Rory?" Jess repeated with a look of annoyance on his face.

Matt shrugged. "Does she know you're seeing your other ex too?"

"I'm not seeing either one of them," Jess explained. "Jen is getting married, as a matter of fact."

"What?" This stunned him. "To who?"

"A guy named Jordan," he replied. "He sounds real nice."

"And you're not jealous?" He pushed.

"No," Jess said. "Well, a little, maybe."

"What about Rory?" He asked again.

Jess groaned. "What does this have to do with her?"

"Were you jealous of her getting married?" Matt questioned.

He sighed. "I'm done with this conversation."

"Ah," he smirked. "So you were."

"The only thing I'm doing is working," Jess said. "I was out so now I'm gonna get back to editing, if you don't mind."

"Fine," Matt put his hands up in surrender. "Be like that. But I'll be back."

Jess smirked again. "Oh, I'm sure of that."

Matt walked away and Jess went back to his work, sighing as his brain started to ask himself all of Matt's questions now.

 **A/N: Thank you for the reviews once again! You continue to amaze me! You all rock, seriously. And as much fun as it would be to keep Rory completely in denial about her feelings for Jess (we all know she did enough of that on the show right? lol), I decided to make her acknowledge they're there. I hope you like it!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: As promised, another update by the end of the week! I hope you like it!**

Rory couldn't concentrate. She stared at her laptop, the cursor blinking at her as she tried to write her latest article. It wasn't as easy as she guessed it could be to forget her feelings. It had been three days since she talked to her mother and told her, finally, about things from years ago she had never told her. It felt refreshing to not hold all of that to herself anymore.

She sighed, opening a new tab and went to check her email. Maybe it would give a nice distraction, she thought. Rory skimmed through her subscribed messages and found one from Lane. She smiled at her friend sending her pictures of her kids and telling her the latest antics of the twins. It was so hard for her to believe Lane is a mother still after all this time. What was even weirder was they were eight years old already.

Writing back a reply and commenting on how cute the pictures are, she noticed a note at the end saying how Jess was after she left. Rory read through it twice, stopping on him being mopier than she remembered and smiling at how she heard Jess talking about his little sister. It sounded sweet and she wished she had got to see him mention her.

She wrote something quick back to that too and hoped it didn't sound more interested than she should. There was an email from Paris and another couple from her mother. When she finally went back to the article, her mind wasn't in it still. Rory picked up her phone and called a friend from the Obama campaign who moved to New York as well.

There was three rings then a voice. "Hello?"

"Marissa," Rory said. "Hey. Its Rory."

"Gilmore?" Marissa said excitedly. "Hey! Its been a while."

"Yeah, it has," she agreed. "Are you busy right now?"

"Not now, no," she said but then perked up. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

"Wanna go get something to eat?" Rory asked. "We could hang out and catch up."

"Yes!" Marissa replied. "Where?"

Rory shook her head, not having thought that far into it. "I don't know."

Marissa gasped on the other end. "Washington Square Park?"

She winced. "Not there."

"Um, okay," Marissa thought for a moment then came up with a coffee shop not too far from Rory's place.

She walked in and went right to the counter, ordering the only coffee on the menu that sounded like Luke's. When they were done with her order of coffee and a danish, Rory looked around the place to find Marissa sitting at a table by the far end wall.

Marissa jumped out of her seat as Rory came to sit beside her. The two girls hugged tightly and Rory realized how much she missed having her around. She would have to introduce her to Lane and Paris one day, she decided. "Its been so long since we've seen each other!"

Rory nodded and took off her coat. "Way too long. I think we last hung out when I moved here."

"That was years ago!" She gasped. "We have to do this more often."

"A lot's been going on," Rory explained.

"Right," Marissa agreed. "Your divorce. Don't be offended but I could tell it wasn't it for you. Something always seemed...off between you two."

"What do you mean?" Rory asked curiously.

"When he came to visit you," she shrugged. "You seemed on-edge when he was around. And looking out for him too much. It was like you were his mother and not his wife."

Rory opened and closed her mouth. She wasn't really sure what to say to that exactly. Instead she answered honestly. "Sometimes it felt like I was, to be honest."

Marissa nodded. "How so? I mean, I didn't see fighting but -"

"It was more than fighting," Rory answered. "He drank. A lot. He would drink until he couldn't anymore and hide the bottles from me. I used to find them later after he left the loft when before, I'd only seen one. He wanted me to believe he only drank one when really it could be four."

"Wow," she said and took a drink of her own cappuccino.

"And he would get mad," Rory continued, remembering. "He'd yell at me and accuse me of stuff. I had to watch him when he drank in front of me because I didn't want him become that person."

Marissa nodded. "It sounds scary."

"It could be," Rory remarked but then she smiled. "It wasn't all bad, though. When he wasn't drinking, he was so sweet. He'd surprise me at work with flowers or take me away on vacation for a weekend."

"Was it worth it?" Her friend asked. "All that pain...was it worth the good stuff?"

"Sometimes I think it was," she answered. "Other times I wonder why I didn't tell him to get help sooner. I always knew he drank and liked to go out but I thought it would get better when we got married."

"I'm so sorry, hun," Marissa told her.

"Thanks," Rory said softly. "But I'm good now. I've been at the Times for a while now."

"I've seen some of your articles," she beamed.

"Really?" Rory smiled. "What do you think?"

"I think you're an amazing writer," she answered honestly. "I've always thought you were back when we wrote together. But I think you got even better."

Rory smiled shyly at her friend. It was always hard for her to take compliments. They continued on about memories on the bus together and she started to forget why she was so distracted.

...

 _Lorelai walked into the room and shut the door behind her. She gasped when she saw her daughter standing in front of the body length mirror in her white dress and long train. "You look absolutely gorgeous, sweets."_

 _"Thanks," Rory said in a low voice. She turned around to face her mother, nervous about her dress. "How's my dress?"_

 _"Its perfect," Lorelai told her._

 _Rory watched her mother keep staring at her and it made her nerves jumble and feel paranoid. "What?"_

 _"My baby girl is getting married," she cried and wiped her eyes. "Look at you. You're all grown-up."_

 _"I used to play dress-up in stuff like this," Rory said with a smile._

 _"I know," Lorelai choked out. "But this is real. That is your wedding dress. Not long from now, you're going to be walked down the aisle and I'm gonna have a son-in-law. I feel so old."_

 _"Mom..." Rory said. Lorelai shook her head and the two of them turned back to the mirror. "Wow. This is really happening."_

 _Lorelai watched her daughter straighten out her dress with her hands, smoothing it down. "Is this what you really want?"_

 _Rory turned her head towards her mom. "What do you mean?"_

 _"You've only been engaged for a few months," Lorelai answered. "I'd understand if you wanted to wait."_

 _"No, Mom,", Rory let out a small laugh. " I want this. "_

 _"And you're sure?" She pressed._

 _"I'm sure," she smiled. "Mom. Why suddenly the worry?"_

 _Lorelai was quiet for a moment, a thoughtful look on her face. "I saw the guest list."_

 _"So?" Rory asked._

 _"You invited Jess?" She asked._

 _"Yeah," Rory his her face. "He didn't RSVP, though so I doubt he's actually coming."_

 _Lorelai kept watching her. "You thought he would want to come?"_

 _"I hoped he would," she corrected. "We're friends."_

 _"You say that, sweets," Lorelai brushed a stray piece of hair from Rory's face. "I've never known of you speaking since before Lane's wedding over a year ago. So unless you're just not mentioning it..."_

 _She chuckled at the end to make it a joke. Rory said nothing at first. She didn't need her mom questioning the invitation. She had already questioned it enough since sending it out. "What's with the questions, Mom? What are you thinking?"_

 _"I don't know," she shuffled her feet. "I was curious about him and you seem nervous..."_

 _"I'm getting married," Rory pointed out with a smile. "I think I can be a little nervous. It doesn't mean I want him come stop the wedding."_

 _"Oh," Lorelai nodded. "Okay."_

 _Rory laughed. "You really think I wanted him here for that?"_

 _Before she could answer anything, the door swung open and in walked Emily Gilmore. She gasped in happiness when she saw her granddaughter standing there on her wedding dress. "Oh, Rory! You look absolutely stunning!"_

 _"Thank you, Grandma," she said shyly._

 _Emily walked to her, hands fixing her dress and checking her hair. "I wasn't sure about letting you do your own hair but I must admit, it looks beautiful."_

 _Rory smiled at her. "Is Grandpa back here, too?"_

 _"He's checking on Logan," Emily explained. "Who, from what I hear, looks quite dashing himself."_

 _"I'm sure," Rory smiled. "Is dad here?"_

 _"Oh, I'm not sure," Emily said confused. "I didn't see him out there."_

 _"I can check, Mom," Lorelai suggested._

 _"Why, yes," Emily brightened. "Thank you, Lorelai."_

 _She gave a face, surprised to hear her mother tell her thank you but walked out anyway. Left alone with her grandmother, Rory turned back to the mirror to make sure she was completely ready to go out there when needed. Emily stood behind her and put her hands on her shoulders, smiling behind her. "This is the happiest day of your life."_

 _Rory smiled softly. "Is it normal to feel so nervous?"_

 _"Why, of course, dear!" Emily exclaimed. "I was so nervous before both weddings to your grandfather! Its only natural. Once its over, you'll be Mrs. Logan Huntzberger for the rest of your life. You'll be very well provided for and taken care of."_

 _"I know," she said. "I feel so scared about standing in front of everyone."_

 _"Don't worry, dear," she tried to reassure. "It'll be over soon and then you'll be married to the love of your life."_

 _Rory nodded, unable to comment on anything. Her grandma's words only helped some but not entirely. The door to the room opened and her mother came back in. "Is he here?"_

 _Lorelai shook her head. "I couldn't find him anywhere."_

 _"Oh," Rory's smile fell._

 _"I'm sure he's in the restroom," Emily said though neither her daughter or granddaughter believed her._

 _Fifteen minutes later, Richard came to get Rory for the ceremony. No one had seen Christopher anywhere still and Richard was flattered when she asked him to walk her down the aisle. Lorelai and Emily rushed out to their seats and watched as Lane and Paris walked down the aisle with Colin and Finn. Sookie's daughter, Martha, was the flower girl and Davey walked as the ring bearer._

 _When the doors opened and the bride's music played, Rory took a deep breath as she looked at the front of the church and saw Logan standing there, looking as handsome as ever in his tux and smiling happily at her._

 _The closer she got to her soon-to-be husband, the more she studied the faces in the pews. She saw Zach, Mrs. Kim, Sookie, Jackson, Honor and her husband, Babette, Miss Patty and everyone else in town she had invited. Luke smiled at her as she passed and she gave a smile back but couldn't help the disappointment at not seeing his nephew there on the other side of him that her mom was not beside._

...

After they went for coffee, Rory invited Marissa over to her new apartment. She didn't want her friend go away just yet and she wasn't sure where to go, either. Marissa looked around the apartment and even checked out her book collection. She picked up a dark cover and read the back summary.

"Why does this sound so familiar?" She asked.

Rory walked over to her and handed her a drink. She saw The Subsect in her hand and smiled. "Because I read and reread that about a hundred times on the bus."

"Right," she laughed. "The name sounds like I know it, though."

"Well, I happen to personally know that author as a matter of fact," she replied.

"Really?" Rory nodded. "Is that why you were such a fangirl?"

"I was not a fangirl!" Rory gasped. "I just really like his writing."

"Uh-huh," she said skeptically. "So you know him or know him-know him?"

"He lived in my hometown for a coupeo of years," she said. "We were close friends."

"Just friends?" Marissa nudged.

"Fine," Rory groaned and sat down on her couch. "We dated for seven months."

Marissa gasped for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Oh my God. You mean you lugged that book around the whole campaign and you never told me you dated the author!"

"It was in high school," she used as an explanation. Marissa sat down beside Rory and waited for more. "We both made a lot of mistakes."

"Do tell," she urged.

And so Rory did. She went in depth into her and Jess' history, from that dinner that wasn't when he first came to town to outbidding Dean on her basket to seeing him in Philadelphia. She barely took any breaths between and Marissa stayed silent, not interrupting even when she had questions.

When Rory finished, she stared at her friend and waited for her to respond. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"It sounds like you're in love with him."

...

The phone rang loudly on Jess' desk as he rushed over to answer it. He had been helping a customer when it unexpectedly rang and Chris answered, only to tell him it was for him. He cursed at whoever was calling him in the middle of work but when he heard who was on the other line, he softened.

"Hey, Uncle Luke," Jess smiled as he sat. "How's everything?"

"Fine, fine," the older man replied. "Lorelai's already begging for cravings but it sounds like her normal appetite."

Jess laughed. "Isn't that the Gilmore way?"

"Yeah, it is," Luke laughed with him.

"But you love it," Jess remarked. "Even the crazy, right?"

"Yeah, I do," Luke said in a whisper. He wasn't one to share many feelings and he and Jess had shared that in common. He decided to change the subject because of that. "Hey, when can you be back in town?"

"Uh..." Jess paused. "I'm not sure. I might have to check with the guys."

"Okay, good," Luke said. "Because the work here is not going as fast as Lorelai hoped. She's under the impression she will be fat by the end of the week and we could use some more of your help."

"I'll ask them then get back to you," Jess told him. "But is there anything else? You sound, I don't know, weird."

"I do?" Luke asked.

"Yeah."

"Nothing's up," he admitted. "Lorelai may have mentioned something to me..."

His smile that had been there moments before was a hundred percent wiped off. "Like what?"

"That Rory came to see you?" He asked.

Jess sighed in relief. He didn't everyone to know what happened before she left. "Yeah, she did."

"Good," Luke said in a brighter voice. "That's good. I'm glad."

"You are?" Jess asked surprised.

"You two should be friends," he explained. "I hoped you would start talking again. I thought it did happen after your first book but then it didn't. So I'm glad, this is good."

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

Jess chuckled. "You're starting to repeat yourself a bit."

"Right," he replied. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Jess waved it off. "But it is good to know you think that way. I mean, I don't know how long a friendship between us will last but its good to know you support it."

A pause of silence passes before Luke speaks again. "Don't mess it up, Jess."

"What do you mean?" He asked. "I doubt we're even gonna talk that much for me to screw anything up."

"Don't play dumb," Luke told him. "You know what I mean."

"I won't."

"Jess!"

"I swear," he said. "You don't have to worry about anything, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed. "Just...you know I care about the two of you."

"I know," Jess smirked. He wondered how hard Luke had tried to not say that out loud. "Hey, when I come, I'll come see Liz and Doula, too."

"Oh, I'm sure she'd like that," Luke said. He sounded relieved to be done with that conversation about Rory and everything that went with it.

"I haven't seen them in a little while," Jess shrugged. "Might be nice to go visit."

They fell into an easy conversation about Doula and Luke updated him on Kirk's latest antics which included a fight with his mother in the town square. When they hung up, Jess actually felt eager to get back to Stars Hollow for some reason.

...

Rory wondered over her friend's words long after she left. She kept hearing them over and over in her head.

 _It sounds like you're in love with him._

Was she? Rory knew how she felt years ago but now? After a years long marriage and being divorced, dating Dean again before that, her short-lived try at a relationship with Mitch who asked her out after the Obama campaign. It sounded crazy but yet she couldn't get it out of her mind.

Was she in love with him?

She walked over to where the cardboard box was now, curious to if those feelings were still there inside her. Somewhere deep down, she always knew she would love Jess but actually in love with him? Tears began to slide down her cheek as she stared at the box.

Rory had her answer. She picked up her cell phone and dialed. A voice picked up on the second ring, eager to catch her.

"Hi, Mom."

 **A/N: I hope you like it! And thank you so much for the reviews still! They mean so much and thank you for sticking with me and my telling of 2015 Literati! And this one just has a Rory flashback but it'll be back to Jess in the next one :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This is later than I planned, I'm so sorry! This week has been crazy busy and I'm finally able to sit down and concentrate enough to write XD I hope you like it! Also I know I said Jess flashbacks were coming but this chapter does not pick off where the last one left off so you'll find out what the phone call said in a flashback, kind of like the Rory/Luke scene of earlier chapters, hope you don't mind ;)**

 **And to my latest review - Rory didn't invite Jess to stop the wedding, it was more wanting him be there because he was important to her life even as time passed and Lorelai, always being able to sense something between them when they couldn't, assumed that's what she was doing :) I wanted to reply to you but in case anyone else wondered the same thing, I thought it should be answered in the update heh.**

The bell above the diner rang as Jess walked in, causing everyone to once again stare at him. He sighed as he walked to the counter. You'd think the town would be over the stares by now. With all eyes on him, he felt like a seveneteen year with a chip on his shoulder all over again.

Lane laughed when she noticed a particular two pairs of eyes on him as he approached. "They really aren't subtle, are they?"

Jess shook his head, quickly looking towards Babette and Miss Patty who turned their heads away when he saw them. "No, they're not."

"How does it feel to be their eye candy?" She asked.

"Very creepy," he answered and smiled at her slightly. "Lorelai demands coffee and a whole list of food."

Lane laughed again. "Is there really a list?"

Jess pulled one out of his pocket. "There is."

"Pregnancy cravings or just Lorelai being Lorelai?" She asked as she read it over and gave it to Cesar in the back.

"I think its both," Jess said.

"It probably is," she nodded. "I don't think I even had these kind of cravings either time I was pregnant."

"Must be different on a Gilmore," he remarked then shut up.

"Yeah," Lane agreed. She noticed the awkward shift at the mention of Gilmores but decided to help move it along. "How long are you here for, Jess?"

"Uh, Matt and Chris told me I can work from here as long as I need," he told her. "I'm not sure how long Luke wants me to stay, though."

"Oh don't say that," she hit his arm lightly. Anyone watching - and there were people watching - might assume they'd been friends all their life. "I'm sure Luke wants you here."

"Like he did for Christmas?" He joked.

Lane was confused. "Huh?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "The past."

They were kind of quiet after that, only mentioning stuff like how the house build-on was doing, Jess' writing, Lane's review of his book because she had finally gotten around to reading the copy Rory bought her. When the food was dine, Jess gladly took the huge bag from Lane. He whispered to her, "I've been back four days. You'd think they would stop staring."

"I think they'll always stare no matter what," Lane replied.

He nodded in agreement as he walked out the diner. The air was cool and warm at the same time and Jess was glad for it. It kind of reminded him of the old days in New York when the days were never just hot or cold but in-between.

He walked back to his uncle and Lorelai's house in silence. Jess knew as soon as he got there, there'd be yelling and screaming and more yelling and screaming when Kirk messes up like he's been doing the past four days. Luke had only agreed to have him there because he sat in front of the house like a lost puppy and it creeped everyone out.

Approaching the house, he could already hear Luke yelling something then Kirk chiming in. He shook his head, a slight smile on his face that he knew that would be the case. Instead of walking towards the chaos that now included Tom's voice and other ones he didn't recognize, Jess walked to the kitchen. Lorelai was there just as he assumed she would be.

"Food!" She beamed when she saw him enter.

Jess put the bags on the table in front of her. "Lane says you have special cravings."

"I had the same cravings when I was pregnant with Evan," she said with a fry stuffed in her mouth.

"That doesnt make it normal," he told her as he looked around. "Where is Evan anyway?"

"Locked in his room," she motioned her head towards Rory's old room. "Let's say their vocabulary got pretty colorful earlier so I asked him go play in there."

"Ah," he nodded in understanding. "Luke?"

"Who else?" She laughed. "Thought Kirk does a rousing line of 'fudge' when he jams his toe."

"I bet," Jess laughed.

Their laughter faded and they sat there awkwardly. Jess felt once again like a teenager today. He thought he saw something on Lorelai's face, something in her expression. But before he could ask her why she's looking at him like that, it faded and she spoke again.

"You wanna go see him?" She asked.

"That's allowed?" He smirked.

Lorelai squinted her eyes and did her normal snort/laugh combo. "Luke will have to wait a few minutes so his son gets a visit from his cousin."

He chuckled. "That sounds fair."

She nodded at him, that expression appearing on her face for a second before it was gone again. He shook his head, ignoring the nagging feeling that she wanted to say something to him and knocked on Evan's door.

"Who's there?" A little voice asked on the other side.

"A bad hooldum turned good," Jess replied.

The little voice sounded confused when he asked, "What's that?"

"It's Jess," he laughed at the door. Looking back to Lorelai, he could see her snicker still on her face. The door unlicked and before it opened, Jess turned back to lorelai and pointed at it. "He unlocks doors too?"

"That kid is talented," she only answered.

Evan stood in front of Jess when he turned back to the now open door. "Am I allowed out yet?"

"Probably not," Jess laughed. "Your dad is still with...them."

Lorelai snickered again behind them. Both of them looked at her and she stopped. "What?"

"Nothing," Jess said. Evan tugged on his sleeve. "Yeah, buddy?"

"Want to see a picture I drew in kind-er-gar-tin?" Evan excitedly asked.

Jess smiled at his pronunciation of kindergarten. "Sure. Why don't you show me?"

Evan grabbed Jess' hand and pulled him into his bedroom. He grabbed a piece of paper off of Rory's old desk. Jess smiled at it as he remembered how she was sitting there the first time they met so many years ago. Jess took the paper from his cousin's hand and looked down at it.

"Wow," he said. The picture was in crayon of Evan, his parents and next to them was Jess and Rory. He stared at the drawn version of himself smiling next to the girl who always caused his world into a tailspin. "That's really great, buddy."

"They told me draw my family," Evan explained.

Jess nodded, still staring. "I'm part of your closest family?"

"Yep," Evan beamed. "Rory, too."

"I see that," he said and finally looked away from the artwork. "Has she seen this?"

Evan shook his head. "No. Mom says she's coming next week."

"She is?" That caught his attention.

"Yep!" He said happily. "Do you think she'll like the picture?"

"She'll love it," Jess ruffled his hair.

Evan hugged Jess. Jess maneuvered himself to kneel down and hugged him back. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too, kid," Jess said. "Me too."

...

Rory came home from work and went straight to the kitchen. She grabbed a beer out of the fridge, something she only did on rare occasions. Work has been really stressful. First there was a new hire who asked her questions about everything and the coffee machine broke. She was asked to proofread an article instead of finishing her own then which took her even longer to edit her own. She sighed. It was a long day.

She popped the top off and took a long drink. The light blinked on her old message machine and she walked over to it curiously. Everyone usually called her cell phone in the past years. Rory wasn't even sure why she had that old thing anymore if she was being honest. She pressed on the button and was surprised to hear the voice on the other end.

"Hello, Rory," Emily Gilmore's voice said. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience as you must be at work. But some of the girls in the DAR were talking about you and what you've been up to recently. They were wondering if you would attend a meeting we're having on Friday."

"Great," Rory murmered, not exactly having fond memories of that time considering.

"Since we haven't had Friday night dinners since..." Emily stopped then continued. "In a long time, it would be nice to see you for dinner that night. Call me back and let me know your answer. It would be fantastic to tell them they'll be seeing you again. Good bye."

The message beeped off and it was silent once again in her apartment. Rory sighed and sat down on her couch. She hadn't exactly talked to her grandmother in what seemed like years. Really, it was weeks but the conversations weren't as often as they once were. Since her grandfather had passed two years earlier, Friday night dinners were over and Emily had distracted herself with countless things. She had even zip-lined.

Taking a deep breath and thinking of how much she actually missed seeing her grandmother more than a couple of tines every few months, she called her back. Emily's voice was cheerful when she answered. "Rory! My, that was soon!"

"Hi, Grandma," Rory replied. "I just got home and heard your message."

"Well what do you think?" She cut right to the point. "Would you be willing to hang out with a bunch of old biddies for the night?"

"You're not old," Rory told her. There was a pause before she continued. "I would feel honored to come."

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Emily beamed. "Everyone will be so excited."

"It'd be nice to see them again," Rory agreed.

"Yes," Emily replied. "Yes, it would be."

"Should I dress up for this?" She asked. "Is it a fancy thing?"

"Its just a meeting," Emily waved off. "Dress the way you would for Friday night dinner."

Rory almost laughed. Her Friday night attire was dresses so in most cases, considered fancy. "Okay. I will."

"Lovely," Emily said in a cheerful voice. "Be here Friday at promptly 7 pm."

"I will," Rory smiled. They hung up nicely and she called her mom right after. When Lorelai picked up, Rory went right into a conversation. "Grandma wants me come over on Friday."

"Hello, dear, sweet daughter of mine," Lorelai said in a cheerful voice then her tone turned suspicious. "And Friday? As in Friday night dinner?"

"She says it's DAR meeting," Rory answered. "That they talked about me and wondered what I was doing."

"Uh-huh," Lorelai said.

Rory heard chewing and laughed. "Are you eating?"

"Maybe," her mother said and the chewing stopped.

"Is this Luke approved?" Rory questioned in her stern voice.

"It was delivered by his nephew, so does that count?" She teased.

Rory's eyes widened. "Jess is there?"

"Does Luke have another nephew?" Lorelai joked then turned serious. "He's been here for around four days now."

"Were you gonna tell me?" She asked. "Or is it supposed to be some secret?"

"No, sweets," she imagined her mom shaking her head. "It just never came up."

"Even after..." Rory paused, trying to find the right words to continue. "After that phone call where I told you how I felt?"

Lorelai was silent for a few seconds. "I could probably give you excuses on how there's so much going on that I didn't think of it, which is part true. But I'm not going to. I'm sorry, hon. I was..."

"What?"

"I was worried maybe you'd reconsider coming if you knew he was here."

Rory let out a huff. "Why would I do that?"

"You two have a history of avoiding each other when there's feelings involved," Lorelai said softly.

"You're right," Rory agreed to her mother's surprise. "We do."

"Are you still coming?" Lorelai asked.

"Mom," Rory said in a serious voice. "Of course I am. Just because I have feelings and he's there, it doesn't mean I'm going to stop visiting my mother and brother."

...

 _"Hi, Mom," Rory said into the phone._

 _"Rory?" Her mother asked. "What is it? What's wrong?"_

 _"Nothing's wrong," she reassured her. "Remember the stuff you said to me about Jess?"_

 _"Yes?" Lorelai answered suspiciously. "Why?"_

 _"I do...feel something," she took a deep breath before she said the second half of the sentence. "I think I always have but I don't know. Ever since I saw him again at Luke's, its like the feelings all came rushing back."_

 _"Oh," Lorelai whispered._

 _"Good 'oh' or bad 'oh'?" Rory asked._

 _"Thinking 'oh'," she confirmed. Rory nodded and waited. "Is this a good thing to you?"_

 _"I'm not sure," Rory sighed. "I truly believed I would be over him after he left. I'm not supposed to see him twelve years later and have my heart beat the way it does when he looks at me."_

 _"So there's a special heartbeat?" Lorelai teased._

 _"Mom," Rory laughed despite herself. "Did you feel like this before?"_

 _"Yes," she replied. "A couple of times. But especially with Luke."_

 _They were silent again, letting each other's words sink in. Finally, Rory found her voice and spoke again. "Mom?"_

 _"Yeah, kid?"_

 _"I think there's a chance I never...that I never completely fell out of love with him," she said in a quiet voice._

 _Lorelai replied in a voice that matched her daughter's. "I know."_

 _"I think I pushed it aside," Rory continued. "For my whole freshmen year, especially. But when everything happened with Dean and then I met Logan...I did love Logan, Mom."_

 _"I know you did," she told her. "But I also know you loved Jess."_

 _"Yeah," Rory simply said. "I did."_

...

"Right," Lorelai said. "I'm being silly."

"Yes, you are," Rory teased. "He's not there right now, is he? Like he can't hear us?"

"No," her mother answered. "He's helping Luke right now with the remodel."

"Good," Rory said in relief. She couldn't imagine what she'd do if he heard at least her mother's side. She decided to switch the conversation back to why she had called. "Well, I'm coming and I'm going to Grandma's meeting."

Lorelai didn't seem to mind and laughed then groaned. "Wait. She doesn't want me there, too, does she?"

"Were you ever in the DAR?"

"Oh God, no!"

"Then I'm pretty sure you're not invited," Rory told her.

"Whew," Lorelai was relieved. "Scare a pregnant woman, won't you?"

"Oh, please," her daughter laughed. "It'd take a hell of a lot more than that to take down Lorelai Gilmore."

"Damn straight."

...

The sun was setting when Luke finally got Kirk to leave the house. Jess and Lorelai laughed as he all but kicked him out. Luke turned to them and locked the door firmly behind him. The couch was moved closer to the window during the remodel so it didn't take long for Luke to sit down besides his wife.

"I think he wants to move in, Uncle Luke," Jess said.

"Don't even joke about that," Luke replied.

Jess laughed. "You mean you don't want to adopt him and share custody with his mother?"

"Now that's a family," Lorelai laughed.

"I don't know how I put up with either one of you," Luke said with a small smile.

"You mean you don't love us?" Jess pouted.

"I know why he puts up with me," Lorelai said. "Because I can keep him up all night when we -"

"My ears!" Jess exclaimed. All traces of joking were off his face and replaced by disgust. "None of that or I'll have to find someplace else to sleep tonight."

Lorelai shrugged. "I guess you're finding someplace else, then."

"Gee, thanks," Jess said then turned to Luke. "You'll let her kick me out?"

"No," Luke said then turned to Lorelai. "Yes."

"I'm feeling the love," Jess pointed out.

Luke just smiled at his wife and nephew and his smile turned even brighter when Evan rushed into the room, glad the people were gone and he was alone with his family. In that moment, it definitely felt like things were pretty damn close to how they were supposed to be.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Another crazy busy week! I feel terrible about not getting one up sooner and I've been feeling sick the past two days but I'm determined! Lol. I hope you like it!**

Rory smoothed out her dress as soon as she shut her car door. She checked her hair in the mirror and made sure she looked all right. She wasn't really sure what she expected when she entered but she wanted to at least not look terrible. These ladies would not hesitate to tell her if she looked terrible.

The door opened fast once she knocked on the front door, a new maid standing in front of her. "Hello."

"Hi," Rory replied. "I'm -"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Greta," a familiar voice screeched. "Let her in."

"I'm sorry," Greta said in a whisper.

Rory smiled at her in apology as she took off her coat and handed it to her. The girl was quickly gone from sight. "Hello, Grandma."

"Rory," Emily smiled big. "Its so good to see you, darling."

"It's good to see you, too, Grandma," Rory smiled. And it was despite her first thoughts. She had forgotten how much she liked being there. "Is everyone here?"

"Not yet," she rolled her eyes. "It seems they got stuck in traffic the opposite way you come from. So it may be a little while."

Rory looked down. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Its all right," Emily smiled at her granddaughter. "It gives us girls a moment to catch up."

"It does," Rory smiled. She didn't really have news to share unless realizing how you feel about a long ago ex-boyfriend counted which she was sure wouldn't.

Emily made drinks and handed Rory white wine. She looked at it then sipped it, not wanting to tell her she'd prefer something else. "How is everything, Rory? Still in New York?"

"I am," she nodded with a smile. "The Times is amazing."

"I've read some of your recent articles," Emily told her. "They seemed different."

"Different how?" Rory worried.

Emily took a sip of her drink and did a little shrug. "It didn't have your usual flow."

"My flow?" Rory asked. "What does that mean?"

"It didn't sound much like you," Emily explained. "Is everything all right?"

"Of course," Rory answered. "Its been busy with mom's pregnancy but -"

"What?"

"Huh?"

Emily shook her head. "Your mother's pregnant?"

"She didn't tell you?" Rory asked. She wondered if the guilt showed on her face. Emily shook her head again. "I'm sure she meant to."

"How long ago did she tell you?" Emily asked, ignoring her reassurances.

"Um..." Rory thought for a moment and did the math in her head. "Close to a month, I think."

"A month!" Emily exclaimed and stood up. "My own daughter didn't tell me she's having another child while she's been telling people for a month!"

"She only told me and Jess," Rory tried to explain.

"Jess?" Emily asked then her face looked like it was in disgust. "That nephew of Luke's who showed up here with a black eye?"

"Yes," Rory said. "That's not that many people after all. I'm sure you were next."

"Of course," she replied, hurt.

Rory set her drink down and tried to save the time they have before others show up. "Grandma, what do you think about me coming for dinner more often?"

Emily's face brightened. "Really?"

"Yeah," Rory smiled. "Its not impossible for me to get here and maybe it won't be every week but it would be really nice to see you more often."

She smiled at her granddaughter. "That would be lovely, Rory. I've missed you, too."

Before either could say something else, there was a knocking on the door and everyone had arrived.

...

Jess cleared another plate as he wiped down the table it was on. His uncle was closing his diner soon for the night and then everyone was going to retire upstairs, him included. Evan was at the counter coloring and he smiled at his cousin before returning to work.

"I'm heading home," Lane came besides him.

Jess stopped wiping the table and turned to face her. "Big night?"

"Oh, huge," she smiled. "I got to pick up the boys and Christina from my mom's then me and Zach are gonna try to get a good night's sleep."

"Sounds jam-packed," Jess teased.

Lane laughed. "Sadly there might actually be jam."

"Night," he told her as she went for the door.

She turned around to face him first. "Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't always like you," she said. Jess gave a confused look then nodded in understanding. "But you and Rory were good for each other. And I'm glad you're here for Luke."

"Thanks," he said and she nodded, leaving. He stood there and wondered why she told him he and Rory were good together. Luke walked in mid-thought and Evan jumped off his seat.

"Daddy!" He exclaimed.

"Hey, little man," Luke told him as he hugged his son. "Jess watching you okay?"

Evan nodded. "He gave me crayons."

Luke looked over to where Evan had been sitting and groaned. "Jess, did you happen to actually watch him as he colored?"

"No," Jess said hesitantly. "Why?"

Luke pointed to the now colored spots on his diner counter. "That's why."

"Shi - shoot," Jess corrected. "I didn't know."

Evan laughed. "I heard a bad word."

"No, you didn't," Jess told him and he laughed more.

"Jess?" Luke nodded towards his sonsw art.

"On it," Jess said before he could add more. He went to go get the special spray they only break out when Evan draws on something he shouldn't have.

When he was done cleaning up, Jess walked to the upstairs apartment and sighed. Luke sat at the table with Evan. "Lorelai still at Sookie's?"

"Yeah," Luke answered with his eyes on his son. "She said she'd be coming here soon."

"That's good," Jess nodded. He kneeled beside Evan and whispered, "Give me and your dad a couple minutes?"

"Okay," he nodded and got off his seat. His crayons and paper were a mess all over the table and it made both men smile.

"What'd you want to talk about that you tried getting my son away?" Luke asked him.

Jess sat up and into a seat at the table. "I actually had a question."

"Oh yeah?" His uncle said. "What's that?"

"What's this like?" Jess waved his hands around the apartment. "Married, kid, another coming...happiness."

Luke sighed. "Why? You got news to tell me, Jess?"

Jess laughed. "No. No news. Just curiosity."

"Well..." He leaned back in his chair. "Its pretty great, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Luke smiled and looked over to the direction Evan went in. "I wouldn't trade it for the world."

"Good," Jess smiled and gave one nod. "I'm happy for you, Uncle Luke."

Luke made a face. "Didn't I ask you enough times not to call me that?"

"Not enough yet, Uncle Luke," Jess smirked.

...

 _Something hard yet soft hit Jess in the head. His eyes peaked open and the blurs in front of him faded to people - Matt and Chris to be exact. He groaned and turned his face into the pillow._

 _"We know you're up," Chris told him. Jess just groaned more and stayed in his position. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."_

 _"Well, actually we only have the one way," Matt pointed out._

 _"Shut up," Chris hit him._

 _Jess smirked into his pillow and turned face up. "What are you idiots doing?"_

 _"Do you not know what today is?" Matt asked._

 _Jess groaned. He did. "I try to pretend I don't."_

 _Chris pulled his hands from behind his back and he had a cupcake with a candle in it. "Happy birthday!"_

 _"Ugh," Jess groaned again. "Why would you bring me a cupcake by the way?"_

 _"It seemed appropriate," Chris told him._

 _"For me?" Jess questioned._

 _Matt leaned to Chris. "He's got a point."_

 _Jess got out of bed. "I really wish I hadn't crashed here last night. You two would have had a much harder time getting into my own apartment."_

 _"It's your fault for crashing here then," Matt added._

 _Chris hit him lightly. "Dude, shut up."_

 _"Why?" Matt asked which was quickly followed by an, "Oh."_

 _Jess walked past them and out into the hall. "Great job at not reminding me how I was dumped. And you reminded me on my birthday of all days."_

 _Matt and Chris followed behind. "Shit. We're sorry."_

 _"I didn't say anything," Chris said. "This is all on Matt."_

 _Jess nodded in agreement as he took a cup of coffee. "That is fact."_

 _Matt stood between the two of them. "This is not fair."_

 _"Damn straight," Jess agreed. "Now give me my cupcake."_

 _Chris passed him it as the two of them sat down. Matt pouted as he watches them. "Ugh, sit down, Matt."_

 _"You're done blaming me for stuff?" He asked cautiously._

 _"For now," Jess smirked and drank some of his coffee. "The day is still young after all."_

 _Hours later, Jess went out to take a walk and bumped right into someone. "I'm sor - Jen?"_

 _"Hey," she said in a quiet voice. "How are you?"_

 _"Fine," he answered. "Birthday."_

 _"Oh my gosh!" She exclaimed. "I almost forgot!"_

 _"If we didn't bump into each other, you actually would have," he teased._

 _"Jess," she said in a serious voice. "I'm sorry. About what happened."_

 _He shuffled his feet. He really didn't want to do this today. "It's fine. Don't worry about it."_

 _"It's just..", she started then continued, "Its obvious you still feel strongly about her. I'd kill for someone to love me that way."_

 _"I did love you that way," he defended. "But I guess it wasn't enough."_

 _She smiled. "No, you didn't. But thanks for saying that."_

 _Jess nodded but not agreeing. "I wanted to."_

 _"I know," she just said._

 _There was a pause of silence. He kept his head down and she watched him. Finally, she spoke again. "I found another job."_

 _"Oh?" He asked. They had been taking different shifts at Truncheon just to avoid each other._

 _"Yeah," she smiled softly. "I was actually coming to give my notice."_

 _"Consider me noted," he smirked at her._

 _She nodded this time. "Okay. You'll tell everyone?"_

 _"Yeah, I will," he confirmed. "Don't worry about it."_

 _"Thanks," she told him and started to walk away._

 _"Hey, Jen?"_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"You'll be pretty hard to replace," he told her._

 _She smirked his own back. "I'm sure you'll have no problem finding someone."_

 _As she walked away, he wasn't sure if they had meant her job or as his girlfriend. The further he walked however, the more he believed girlfriend was what she meant and job was what he did._

...

"Mom, don't kill me," Rory said as soon as he mom picked up the phone.

Lorelai was instantly suspicious. "What did you do?"

"Remember I had dinner with Grandma and her DAR friends tonight?" Rory asked.

"Yes?" Lorelai said then gasped. "You didn't!"

"I did," Rory winced.

"Rory!" Lorelai shouted. Then her voice lowered. "I will only resist raising my voice right now because I am outside and I can see Kirk and Taylor."

"I'm so, so sorry," Rory told her. "I thought you told her. When you had that dinner you brought Evan to, especially."

"No, we didn't," she shook her head. "We were waiting."

"But she knows now," Rory sighed.

"She knows now," Lorelai repeated. "Nothing we can do now, hun. And who knows? Maybe she'll be happy for us."

"Evan grew on her," she pointed out.

Lorelai laughed. "Sweets, I hate to break it to you but you were the first one who had to grow on her."

Rory opened and closed her mouth. "I don't know what to say to that."

"Tell me you're still coming," she stated.

Rory smiled. "I'm still coming. I'm on my way now. Stopped for coffee first."

"That's my girl," Lorelai smiled.

...

Jess stayed up past when Lorelai finally came in. He laid on the couch with his laptop on his lap and typed out another chapter and a half before his hands cramped up. Evan was fast asleep on his old bed and Luke and Lorelai were resting peacefully in Luke's old space. He wasn't sure why he couldn't sleep. Maybe it was all the excitement from Lorelai rushing in and telling them her mother knows. Luke's face was pretty priceless he had to admit.

He got up for a glass of water and noticed the drawing Evan bad showed him the other day on the fridge. He stared at it, at the fictional version of himself and his family and of Rory next to him. He'd be lying if he said he never thought she was his future. Now it felt like a literal chest pain to see how she's apart of his life no matter what and he felt guilty as hell.

He downed the water and walked away from the fridge, not daring a look back at just a drawing. Tomorrow he would do better. Tomorrow he would man up and not let Rory get to him. He laid back down on the couch and reread what he wrote. Finally his eyes got heavy and he turned off his laptop, closing his eyes for the night.

 **A/N: I hope you liked the new update! I'm gonna try to plan ahead for time to update because I miss giving two a week! Being busy sure takes away lol.**


	18. Chapter 18

"Hello?" Rory called as she entered her childhood home. The lights were off and the place was silent. "Mom? Luke?"

She stood in the doorway and looked around. The couch was pushed up towards the window and the rest of the living room aside from the TV set was closed off. A voice called out from next door that grabbed Rory's attention.

"You looking for your mom, doll?" Babette asked.

Rory leaned out of the doorway and onto the porch to see her friend. "Yeah. She's not here?"

"They're usually at Luke's," Babette told her. "The house is mostly occupied on days its worked on but not at night."

"But its morning," Rory objected to herself.

Babette laughed and pointed her thumb in the direction of the diner. "And where does your mom prefer to be in the morning?"

"Right," Rory laughed. "I'm gonna go check over there."

Babette gave a sly smile. "I bet you'll check."

Rory made a confused face but didn't ask. Instead she dragged her luggage back to her car and stuffed it into the back seat and was on her way. The morning was brisk and light creeped in already. It was still early, barely 7 am, but Rory had wanted to be there as soon as possible. She saw Luke wiping counters in the diner as soon as she got closer and smiled.

The bell chimed when she walked in and he looked up at her, smiling too. "Hey, Rory!"

"Hey, Luke!" She beamed and wanted to her stepfather for a hug. "How are you?"

"Good, good," he smiled. "Was I supposed to know you were coming or was this a surprise?"

"Mom knew," Rory confirmed. "Maybe she wanted you surprised, though."

Luke nodded, still smiling. "Always possible with your mother."

Rory mock-hit him. "She's your wife."

Luke leaned forward. "Still crazy. Ssh."

"It'll be our secret," she nodded in a serious tone.

He walked back to the tables to clean them off. He started opening a little later now that everyone was staying upstairs. They got Evan ready for school then would open and the town understood. Rory walked up the steps and remembered the mischievous look on Babette's face before she came here.

Then she remembered. Lorelai told her Jess was here.

Was Jess upstairs too?

She knew the answer before she reached the final step. Of course he was. Where else would he stay if they're all here? She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

It swung open and a sense of déjà vu came over her. Jess smirked. "My, aren't we bright eyed and bushy tailed?"

Rory laughed, the déjà vu complete. "Still watching I dream of Jeannie? She always gets Major Healey out of thlse scraps."

"Damn," he muttered. "Now you spoiled the rest of the episodes I never saw."

"Sorry," she said in mock apology. "My mom up?"

"Yeah," Jess moved aside to let her in the apartment. "She's getting Evan ready for school."

She walked into the apartment and noticed the blankets on the couch. "So you do stay here."

"What?" He asked so she nodded towarda the couch and he understood. "Yeah. Figured it was better than staying at Liz's."

Now Rory nodded in understanding. She knew too well the feeling of a parent who didn't try hard with you having another child and giving them their all. "Are you gonna see your mom?"

"I did already, actually," he told her. "I was gonna see her later today though."

"That's nice," she smiled. "Doula will love that."

"She'll love what?" Lorelai asked as she walked in holding her son's hand. "Hello, child of mine."

"Mom!" Rory smiled happily and hugged her mother and brother. Jess smiled at them. When Rory pulled away, she looked at her mom seriously. "Do you hate me for telling grandma?"

"Nah," Lorelai waved it off. "You actually kind of saved me from having to tell her."

Rory half-laughed. "You're welcome?"

Lorelai nodded. Jess gestured to them. "Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels that way about her."

"Please!" Lorelai scoffed. "You're looking at the pro."

Rory laughed which made Evan laugh. "Mommy, is it time yet?"

She looked at the time - close to 7:20. "Rats. It is. Let's finish getting you ready, baby."

"But Rory's here!" He whined.

"She'll be here when you get out of kindergarten," Lorelai explained to her son then looked at her daughter. "You will, right?"

"Yes," Rory answered. "We can play after, Evan."

"Okay," he groaned. He went to Rory for another hug before Lorelai took him over to Jess' old bed and finished getting his sneakers on.

"I should head out, too," Jess said as he walked over to the couch and grabbed his jacket.

"What?" Rory asked. "Where are you going?"

"Got stuff to do," he shrugged.

She looked at him skeptically. "In Stars Hollow? You?"

"Luke was sending me to their house to meet Tom," he replied. "I told him I'd do it so he doesn't have to leave the diner."

"Oh," she said. "That's...good."

He walked to the door. "Yeah, besides the dealing with Kirk at 8 am part of it."

"Poor baby," she smiled.

"No smirking," he scolded. "Kirk is not a good thing."

"Debatable," she countered.

Evan came back into the room and grabbed onto to Jess' leg as he stood by the door. "You're leaving?"

"Only for a little bit," he messed up the kid's hair. "I'll be back when you get out of school."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Rory smiled at the two of them and Lorelai noticed, giving her a look. Rory turned her head away from the two males in front of her and her mother's questioning expression. She almost regretted telling her of her feelings if her mom was gonna look at her so obviously.

The two of them said goodbye to Evan and went downstairs. Luke hugged and kissed his son goodbye too as Jess followed out. Rory and Luke watched them leave and once they opened the diner, customers came in. Babette walked in with another sly smile pointed directly at Rory.

...

 _Jess stormed downstairs in annoyance. It was around midnight and he stayed at Truncheon late because he was finishing an article and the editing for the zine. But Matt and Chris were playing music and entertaining guests instead of letting him work._

 _"What the hell?" Jess asked when he got downstairs._

 _Matt looked at him and smiled. It was obvious he'd been drinking. "Jess! Come on down!"_

 _"How about you lower the volume?" Jess asked. "I'm finishing work up there and everyone else is partying."_

 _Chris walked to Jess. "We'll keep it down, I promise."_

 _"Thanks," he nodded and turned to go back upstairs. "But if it stays loud, I'm going home to finish."_

 _"Deal," Chris agreed._

 _Once Jess was back upstairs, the music turned lower. He heard Matt complain and whine which made him want to laugh. Jess turned back to his article and sighed. He certainly wasn't proud of it but he didn't think it was shit. That was a plus. He finished up the last of it and started to edit through everything._

 _Throughout editing, his eyes traveled to the stack of papers to his side. It was Jess' latest book, all printed and edited. He just had to give it to his co-workers but for some reason he never worked around to it. He just carried it around and waited for the right moment which never came._

 _He wasn't sure why he was so hesitant. Maybe because of why he was able to write it. Jess had been so inspired by his inner thoughts when he got that invitation that it poured out. When he finished editing, he grabbed the pile and went downstairs._

 _"Here," he put it on Chris' desk with a thud._

 _Chris walked over to him, all eyes of Matt and the guests on him. "What's this?"_

 _"Check it," Jess said._

 _He looked at the first page and almost gasped. "A new book? Finished?"_

 _"Yep," was all he said._

 _Matt stood up, his attention caught. "You finished a new book?"_

 _Jess shrugged and Chris beamed. "Another book."_

 _Matt turned to everyone with a giant smile on his face. "Beers for everyone! We got something to celebrate!"_

 _"Not me," Jess shook his head. "I'm going home."_

 _"What?" Matt asked. "You can't."_

 _"I can," he replied. "And I will."_

 _"Fine," Matt said with a pout. "We're still going to celebrate."_

 _Jess laughed and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "I wouldn't expect any differently."_

 _He ran upstairs and grabbed his work bag and jacket, racing back down the steps. He shouted that the zine was all set and ready for tomorrow morning. Once outside, Jess was stuck with the paralyzing feeling of what was there. Absolutely nothing. His home would be empty tonight and he almost went back into Truncheon just thinking about it._

 _Jess got into his car and ended up driving around. He found a book store still open. He parked the car and knocked in the door. A girl looked up from behind the counter and walked to thsmiled. She smiled at him. "Yes?"_

 _"You're open?" He asked. She nodded. "For how long?"_

 _"About a half hour," the girl smiled. "This is my dad's place. Usually book fans come in late at night for a read. Seems it happened again?"_

 _He looked over at her as he entered, her last words a question. "Yeah. It did."_

 _She nodded. "It's pretty quiet here tonight. So it's all yours to browse."_

 _"Thanks," he smiled at her. Jess looked through the shelves and laughed when he found a copy of The Subsect._

 _The girl noticed and walked up behind him. "You read it?"_

 _"You could say that," he answered. Jess was grateful he hadn't been one of those authors who put a picture of himself on his book._

 _"I loved it," she gushed. Jess looked at her again and she had a genuine look on her face. "That guy knows how to write."_

 _"You didn't find him pretentious?" Jess asked her._

 _"God, no," she laughed. "I thought he was...soulfull."_

 _"Soulful?" Jess laughed. "Really?"_

 _"Totally," the girl answered. "His insights on love, relationships...he sounds like he's been hurt. And like he learned from it."_

 _Jess stared at her. She could tell that? He tried to make a joke. "Or maybe he just doesn't understand life."_

 _"I think he does," she argued. "More than he thinks. In fact, I think he does more than most people."_

 _"Huh," he just said._

 _The girl smiled at him, blushing. "I bet I sound insane, gushing over this book written by somebody I'll never meet."_

 _"You sound normal to me," he told her. "Besides, its nice to hear an impartial point of view for once."_

 _"You don't find many fans?" She asked._

 _"I found some," he admits. "But they're all people who started the book with biased opinions."_

 _"Don't you hate that?" She gushed. "I love reading a book and just...experiencing it. No thoughts other than what the back summary is."_

 _He smirked, remembering another young girl who felt that way. "You go into the world better that way, form your own opinion."_

 _"Exactly," she nodded and smiled brightly at him._

 _Jess nodded at her and decided maybe he should go home finally and he'll come back here later. The girl went back behind the register and occasionally stole glances at him. Jess walked to the door and called to her. "Thanks for the impartial opinion, by the way."_

 _"You're welcome," the girl was confused, not understanding why he'd thank her. "I'm Ari, by the way. What's your name?"_

 _He nodded. "I'd prefer to rename anonymous, if that's okay."_

 _"Okay," she nodded._

 _"Nice meeting you, Ari," Jess opened the door and walked out back into the night._

...

Customers now filled Luke's up. Rory sat at the counter since it opened, afraid if she moved she'd lose her seat. Being the owners stepdaughter did not grant privileges against the hungry she had learned. Luke was grinning, happier than usual when serving, Rory noticed. It probably had something to do with Kirk was nowhere in sight.

Lorelai walked back in and dramatically sat down beside her daughter. "Evan did not want to go to school."

"Why not?" Rory let out a small laugh. "I thought he likes kindergarten."

"He does," Lorelai nodded. "On usual days. Today's a special day. His sister and cousin are both here."

Rory nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "He's had Jess for days. I'm new so I should get special reservations with my little brother."

"Aha, true," her mother grinned as wide as the chester cat. "Which is why I have an idea."

"What's that?" Rory asked curiously.

"Babysit for me," Lorelai suggested.

Rory stared at her. "When?"

"Tonight," she shrugged. "Whenever."

Her daughter nodded, trying to follow. "So you are telling me to pick a night to babysit and then you'll go out according to my schedule? Isn't that a little different?"

"When have I done things normally?" Lorelai snorted.

"Never," Luke said as he appeared with a cup of coffee and placed it in front of his wife.

She grinned and kissed him quickly, making Rory smile. Then Lorelai took a sip of her coffee and made a face. "This isn't coffee, honey."

"Its decaf," he said simply.

"And decaf isn't coffee," Lorelai explained.

"Yes, it is," Luke said. "Its just not the kind you drink."

Rory looked between the two of them. Lorelai replied back, "Its also not a good kind."

Luke leaned forward to his wife. "Its the kind you're gonna drink while carrying our child."

She stared right back. "Maybe I'll take a paternity test."

"And when you disprove me, you can have regular coffee," he grinned and stood up straight again.

"Rats," she groaned and took another drink of the coffee. That then led to making more faces into her cup which only made Luke roll his eyes and Rory laugh.

He walked away to take some more orders and Rory turned to her mom. "When are you telling the town, by the way? They were happy about Evan so they'll be happy again."

"I know," she replied. "I just wanted this be our thing for a little longer. Just the four of us and mom now."

"Does Sookie know?" Rory asked.

Lorelai smiled. "Maybe."

"So more than the four of us," Rory pointed out. "Which means you can't guilt trip me that Grandma knows then."

"Oh, I'll still guilt trip you," she smirked. "You told my mother. That's the most deserving of punishments. Which is why you are babysitting for me."

"Fine," Rory gave in. "But only because I love my brother. It has nothing to do with the fact that you're absolutely nuts."

"You're the one who saw the Yale therapist," Lorelai told her.

"Ugh," Rory groaned. "Don't remind me."

"I could always take out your mugshot and out it on the fridge again," she teased.

Rory made a face and held a hand up. "Please don't."

Lorelai pouted and pointed to her belly. "But..."

"No," Rory said with a laugh. "You are not using that as an excuse."

"Fine."

Lorelai kept pouting and Luke brought her food without her even ordering any. Rory laughed again at how well he knew her mother and it caused her mouth to soften into a smile.

...

 _Rory turned the last pages of the book she was reading and shut it closed. She wiped a tear that had threatened to fall and smiled at the pages between her fingers. That was a good book, an amazing book. She flipped it over to see the title once again - Directly Darkly._

 _She was proud, very proud. Jess had written another book and Rory had heard of another open house like the first and only time she went to Truncheon. It was tomorrow night and part of her was tempted to go there. The other part of her looked over at her husband asleep in bed and felt guilty._

 _Rory thought of the last time she had went there and the look on his face when she walked out the door. No matter how many memories she had of Jess smiling, they could never overshadow that one. Even the memory on the bus seemed pale in comparison because it had been her who had done the crushing that time. She made his face form that expression._

 _She flipped through the pages again to find her bookmark, on her favorite passage. It sounded so Jess, that she had to read it again._

He pulled a new cigarette out of the pack and stared at it between his fingers. He'd long ago swore he quit but today, yesterday, hell even tomorrow, the urge was back. His lighter felt heavy in his left pocket, aching to make him lighter and have the small stick come alive with flames. He'd done it before, he'd done it for her. What did he have now? She was gone and never to return so what was the harm in raising the object to his lips and breathing it in?

He knew exactly what was wrong. He swore to her he was done smoking and he wanted to keep that promise. Even if she was long gone, even if she never came back, he would keep that promise. Why? Because he gave her his word and his word wouldn't be forgotten because he lost her.

 _She reread the words over and over again throughout the night, pulling the blanket over the side of the couch over her when she got cold. Did he mean it? Did he keep promises he made to her no matter what happened between them? Did he really never smoke again after he left for California?_

 _Rory sighed, shutting the book. He probably did. Jess had smoked for years before they met and when they started going out, he told her he would stop. She told him she didn't like the cigarette breath and he just stopped buying them. Was that was that passage was? A message to her? Or was she just over-analyzing his fictional book?_

 _She shoved the book into her bag and walked over to the bed. Rory took off her robe and climbed in. Logan was fast asleep still, his arms curled around her when he felt her presence. She swallowed down the guilt that she felt thinking of the book and her past with Jess._

 _Rory went to sleep with tears forming in her eyes, thinking of the two men in her life, one she chose and another she always felt so conflicted about her feelings for._

...

Jess grabbed a beer out of the fridge, thankful that it was still stocked while they were gone. Kirk had once again hammered his thumb and Jess couldn't take anymore. As if it hadn't been bad enough that Kirk asked opinions for baby names if he and Lulu were ever given his mother's permission to have a baby.

The back door opened, startling Jess at first. Then he saw Lorelai and relaxed, relieved it wasn't Kirk. "Hey."

"Hey," Lorelai said as she stood in the doorway. "This could almost be a déjà vu, you know."

"Almost," Jess agreed. "Except you won't take the beer from me this time and drink it."

She nodded and sat down. "That is true. Plus, you won't say I'm getting some from Luke because that's been common knowledge for a while now."

"Ugh," Jess swallowed. "Not exactly what I wanted to hear."

"You said it the first time," she smirked.

"I was being a smart ass the first time," he said. His joking tone was gone and instead of meeting her eyes, Jess stares at his bottle.

"Maybe," Lorelai agreed. "But you were also on the nose. You knew before I knew that I wanted to be with Luke. Hell, even my mom knew."

Jess snorted. "I'm a little shocked by that."

"She said I'll have a diner wedding," Lorelai remembered. "About two years before me and Luke kissed."

"Huh," he simply said.

Lorelai looked at him in wonder. "Hey, Jess?"

He turned back to look at her. "Yeah?"

"What are your plans for tonight?"

 **A/N: The last chapter seemed so short so I wanted to try to give another one out before a week passes! Plus I'm really really excited for the next chapter, which I think you'll all really like too ;)**

 **I wasn't sure what exactly to put as Jess' book quotes, I always figured it was something reflected on his life, Rory, Liz so I tried to come up with something and chose to not make it as a The Subsect quote because DD is mine and we sadly never found out what TS was about :( but I hope it works! And I hope to have another out by Friday so fingers crossed!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I'm so so excited as I write this chapter, I couldn't wait to get to it so I hope you like it as much as I do! This chapter is an important one too so I really hope you think its good :)**

 **And I answered this review but am answering here now too - Rory didn't turn down the proposal from Logan at the end of season seven, she says yes after she thinks it through ;) no getting back together, that's why I call it sorta AU because that's the only canon I changed and I really should have said this sooner or put it into the fic so I apologize for that :)**

"No," Rory shook her head. "You didn't."

Lorelai looked at her daughter sheepishly. "I did."

"Why?!" Rory exclaimed. "Mom, how could you?"

"Well -"

The younger woman didn't let her finish. "This is payback, isn't it? I told Grandma about your pregnancy so you're trying to force me into time with Jess, which I'm actually shocked you're doing, by the way."

"No ones more shocked than me," Lorelai pointed out. "But no. Its not payback."

"Then why?" She looked at her mother questionably. "Why did you tell him to bring Doula over and babysit Evan with me?"

"I thought it would be nice," Lorelai answered. "After what you told me -"

Rory put her head in her hands. "Please do not tell me you're doing this because I told you that?"

"You mean that you might never have fallen out of love with him?" Lorelai asked.

"Ssh," Rory lowered her voice and raised her head back up.

"He's not here," the older woman said.

"I know," she sighed. "Its just...saying it out loud -"

"I know," Lorelai mirrored her daughters words. "It's only a couple of hours. Just be with your brother, occasionally talk to Jess and see Doula. If it's un-doable, I'll tell him to forget it right now."

"Don't do that," she groaned.

"You sure?" The look on her face was wondering and curious.

"Yes," Rory nodded. "If you tell him that, he'll wonder why I don't want him there. And besides, you're right. Its only a couple of hours. It's not gonna be hard or anything."

"That's what he said," Lorelai laughed. Rory gave her a look and she stopped with a pout. "Fine. I'll be serious...for now."

Rory looked defeated. "I want to be friends with him again. Really, I do. Its just feeling this way took me by surprise."

Lorelai looked at her daughter sadly, remembering how back in high school when she had first realized her feelings for Jess, she'd denied them. She was glad Rory was openly talking to her about them now. She pushed aside that it could be Lorelai actually liked Jess now. "And you're not still mad at me for tonight?"

"I wouldn't say I was mad," she replied and turned to her mom with a small smile. "Upset, maybe. Shocked."

"Okay," Lorelai nodded. "If you say so."

Rory smiled at her. "It'll be fine. I won't make any big love confessions either...I hope."

Lorelai laughed at the look on her daughter's face. "Just don't do any karoke, okay?"

Rory got up and stood by the doorway of the upstairs apartment. "We're babysitting. Why would there be karaoke?"

"Maybe Evan will want to sing," she suggested.

"Don't yoy dare suggest that to him," she pointed her finger at her.

Lorelai held her hands up in surrender. "Promise."

She smiled again, nodding. "I'm gonna go see Lane now. The boys are gone to school and Christina is only there. Be good while I'm gone."

She turned the doorknob and Lorelai shouted, "I'm not making any promises!"

Rory laughed again as she shook her head, walking down the stairs into the diner. She could do this, she thought. She could spend a few hours with Jess and her brother and his little sister and be friends with him.

Luke smiled at her when she appeared from behind the curtain. "You leaving?"

"Just to see Lane," she nodded. "Then I'm babysitting for you tonight."

"Oh really?" He asked. "I didn't know we had plans."

"I think she's surprising you with the specifics," Rory explained. It figures Luke didn't know but she was also a little thankful for it.

Luke looked at her suspiciously. His eyes showed he knew something was up but he said nothing. "Okay. Have fun tonight, then."

"You, too," she smiled and walked outside into the nice sunny air.

Rory stuffed her hands in her pockets and began walking at an even pace to her friend's house. She saw Taylor staring at her from near the gazebo. She wasn't sure why but he had a look on his face. The one he gets before he lectures or brings up a topic no one agrees with in town meetings.

She considered walking to him but a voice behind her stopped her in her tracks. "Taylor still hates me, huh?"

Turning, Rory came face to face with Jess. She tried to ignore her heartbeat that she told her mom about on the phone and smirked her way into their usual kind of banter. "I think he's still mad about the fake dead body in front of his store."

Jess gave her his own smirk in reply. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She crossed her arms across her chest. "Funny because if I remember right, you all but admitted to doing it."

He shrugged, still smirking. "Maybe someone else wanted him to go nuts."

"You mean besides Luke?" She asked. "You two always did have that in common, you know."

"True," he agreed then decided to change the subject on her. "So did your mom tell you yet?"

"About tonight?" He nodded. "Yes, she did."

"Is it gonna be weird?" he asked. "You and me?"

"It's not weird right now," she laughed.

"Good," he nodded. She stopped laughing when he still looked serious. "Because I don't want us to be. I mean that."

"I don't want us to be, either," she replied honestly.

He nodded and stuffed his own hands in his pockets. "I'm going to Liz's now so I'll bring Doula by later."

"Sounds good," she smiled.

Jess started walking away but turned back to her. "Good luck with them, by the way."

She looked at where he meant. Taylor now had a crowd around him including Kirk, Miss Patty, Babette, Morty, Gypsy and a bunch of others. "Thanks."

"See you later, Gilmore," he smirked as he left.

She smiled. "Later, Mariano."

He put his head down, shaking it with a smile on his face. She thought it was adorable and sexy at the same time and her thoughts abruptly stopped. She couldn't be thinking anything like that if she wanted to be friends with him. The only way they can remain friendly is if they stayed on the safe side.

Interrupting her thoughts, footsteps came towards her. Rory sighed, getting ready. It wasn't Taylor as she had feared but it was Babette and Miss Patty. "Hiya, sugar."

"Hi," Rory smiled. "How are you?"

"Oh, we're fine," Miss Patty answered for both of them. "We're more concerned with how you are, young lady."

"Me?" She asked. "Why me?"

"Are you falling back into the Jess hole again?" Babette asked.

"The Jess hole?" Rory questioned.

Miss Patty nodded. "Darling, we know he's gorgeous. And he's certainly grown up very well."

"But we just want you to be safe," Babette added.

"Safe?" Rory asked. "I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"That may seem like it now," Babette replied.

Miss Patty cut in next. "But a girl needs to make sure her heart isn't thinking for her brain."

"Or anywhere else," Babette nodded.

Rory wanted there be a hole in the ground to come and swallow her up. "There is nothing happening between me and Jess besides friendship, Babette and Miss Patty."

"Sure," Babette winked. "Whatever you say."

"We know about the sleepovers," Miss Patty told her. "You need to be careful, sweetheart."

"A man like that probably has capability to knock someone up faster than anyone else," Babette explained.

"Oh my god," Rory said. "You think -"

Babette and Miss Patty nodded. "We know, darling. You don't have to keep it from us."

"Um..." Rory definitely wanted a hole to swallow her up now. She wondered how red her face must be. "We're not sleeping together. We're really just friends."

They gave shocked expressions, mouths opening and closing. She could see thoughts forming and connecting all through the looks on both of their faces. Miss Patty spoke first. "You mean you're really not?"

"No," Rory said. "We are really not."

Babette exclaimed next, "Well, why not?"

"I thought you just said I shouldn't," Rory said confused.

"That's when we thought you were!" Babette half-yelled.

"Why aren't you?" Miss Patty asked loudly. "You're not joking with us?"

"No jokes," Rory confirmed. "We're really not."

"Why?" Miss Patty asked again.

"Because we're friends," she answered.

Babette stared at her. "So?"

Rory wanted to laugh at their insistence. "Doesn't sleeping together mean more than friends?"

"It means you're getting good sex," Miss Patty nodded. "And Jess looks like he for sure gives that."

Babette nodded while Rory wanted to run screaming away. She tried to escape right to Lane's. "I have to go."

"All right, doll," Babette said. "You'll let us know if you and he ever -"

She made a suggestive face and Rory's eyes almost popped. "Uh..."

"Babette, let the poor girl breathe," Miss Patty smiled. "If she wants to tell us, she will."

"I really do have to go," she said. They finally let her go and she walked as quickly away as possible.

...

 _The Christmas tree lit up the Dragonfly inn magnificently. The room was bright with festive colors and sublte decorations, all thanks to one Lorelai Gilmore. Rory looked around the room contently, smiling at the gathering of people she loved. Her mom was talking with Luke and Evan sat in her lap as they looked down at their infant son. They looked so happy which made her smile grow brighter._

 _Lane and Zach sat by the tree with Steve and Kwan. They looked like they were reading to their twins, probably out of a rock magazine she assumed. She was thankful that her present to them - play drums - was sealed up at home right now. Her Grandma would have a fit at hearing them play for the holiday so she was waiting for after they leave the inn._

 _Logan was talking to Sookie, which surprised her. Sookie was laughing about something and she wondered what. It was nice to see him getting along so well with her Stars Hollow friends and family. Jackson was nearby with Davey and Martha. Number three was asleep for a nap._

 _Rory walked through the other halls in the inn, smiling at the other decorations. You could tell Michel's desk from a mile away because it was the only one not decorated. Even that made her smile right now. The front door of the inn opened and she turned to see who it was. Jess walked in with an overnight bag and his leather jacket. She thought her heart stopped when he looked up and saw her._

 _"Hey," he said when he noticed her staring._

 _Rory snapped out of her daze. "Hey. Did we know you were coming?"_

 _"No," he answered. "Luke asked. I wasn't sure."_

 _"Oh," she nodded and walked over to Michel's room book. "That means you don't have a room."_

 _"Nope," he answered. "Are there any? I could always just go crash at Luke's if not."_

 _"Um..." She scanned the list. "I think there's one left."_

 _"One will do," he nodded and took his jacket off. She watched him and turned her head away. Why was she looking at him like that?_

 _Footsteps came walking through and she panicked at first. Then Michel came into sight and she relaxed...almost. "What is he doing here?"_

 _"I was invited," Jess told him._

 _Michel looked at him. "I do not remember that."_

 _Rory interrupted. "It was last minute."_

 _"Fine," he looked bored and Rory moved aside so he can see his book. He wrote something in the book and grabbed a key. "Do not mess anything up."_

 _"Okay," he smirked._

 _Michel walked away in a huff and Rory laughed. "Gee, do you think he remembers you?"_

 _"Nah," Jess smiled. "Must be someone else."_

 _She walked back to the book and snickered when she saw what he wrote. Jess walked to her and smirked when he saw it. "He wrote hoodlum as the occupant."_

 _"I guess that's me," Jess replied._

 _"Not anymore," she told him honestly._

 _"What's going on here?" A voice asked and Rory almost jumped out of her skin. The two of them looked in the direction to see Logan standing there watching them._

 _"Logan," she said and moved from behind Michel's desk. "Jess just got here and we were looking at what Michel called him in the reservation."_

 _Logan nodded and looked at Jess. "And what did he call you?"_

 _"An old nickname," Jess just shrugged._

 _"Hoodlum," Rory said. "Everyone here called him it back in high school."_

 _"How nice," Logan remarked. "Come on, Ace. Your mom is asking where you went."_

 _She nodded and her husband put his arm around her. "Okay. Nice seeing you, Jess."_

 _"You, too," he nodded, still standing behind Michel's desk._

 _Rory and Logan walked away together, his arm still slung around her. When they're far enough away from both Jess and the party, he asks, "What's he doing here?"_

 _"Luke invited him," she states. "He is his nephew."_

 _"And trust me, I know that," Logan almost growled._

 _Rory stopped walking and went to face him as they talked. "What does that mean?"_

 _Logan scoffed. "It means I know he's family. You don't have to remind me."_

 _"What? You have a problem with Luke now, too?" She asked sarcastically._

 _He shook his head. "Not Luke. Just his...family."_

 _"So, Liz too?" She asked. "TJ? Doula? Or is it just Jess?"_

 _"Rory..."_

 _"I thought you'd be over this," she sighed. "We're married. I love you. Do you really have to do this?"_

 _"Do what?" He snapped. "Dislike a guy my wife used to date and still has in her life? Or how about this - the guy my wife idolizes?"_

 _She shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

 _"No?" He asked. "So his books - you don't take them everywhere you go?"_

 _"I don't," she said. How did he know The Subsect was in her luggage at her Mons house right now?_

 _"Uh-huh," he said. "Right."_

 _She looked at him, really looked at him for the first time since he interrupted. "You've been drinking, haven't you?"_

 _"Only a little," he replied. "Don't change the subject."_

 _"Logan," she sighed. "You need to get over this. I'm with you, not Jess. I can't believe you're even doing this right now. Especially after this morning."_

 _His expression changed into a much softer one. "You're right. I'm sorry."_

 _Logan wrapped one arm around her, his palm on her back. The other went to her stomach and he smiled. "We're gonna be a family. You, me and baby."_

 _"I love you," he said and kissed Rory lightly on the lips. "I'm sorry."_

 _"I love you, too," she smiled._

...

After Jess left Liz's, it was about five pm. Lorelai said to be at the apartment around six so he took his little sister to the park across from the diner. She pulled on his sleeve. "Push me on the swing!"

"Okay," he laughed. "Get on!"

Doula climbed on the swing, smiling widely. "Ready!"

"You do know you're eight right?" He asked from behind her. "You could push yourself."

"It's more fun with you," she replied.

He smiled a genuine smile and stood behind her. "Ready to go?"

"I told you I was!" She laughed and held onto the metal handles of the swing.

Jess started pushing her and at one point he actually tried getting Doula to push him. She laughed and told him, "You're too heavy!"

When enough time had passed, Jess grabbed his sister's hand and they walked together to the diner. He unlocked it with the same key he usually would go in there with when he was a teenager. Lorelai and Luke were still upstairs with Rory and Evan when he got up there. Luke gave Doula a hug when they entered.

"I get to stay here, Uncle Luke?" She asked.

Jess smirked at the nickname. Luke glared at him. "Yeah, you do. You're staying with your cousin."

"Rory?" She asked. Rory almost choked at hearing it said that she's Jess' sister's cousin.

"Evan," Luke corrected. "But Rory will be here, too. And your brother."

"Where are you going, Mommy?" Evan asked.

Lorelai looked down at her son and ruffled his hair. "A very special place me and Dad haven't been to in a while."

She looked over at Luke with a smile. Rory smiled seeing the two of them look so in love and Jess coughed. "Maybe the lovebirds should head out to dinner before all of us feel like a third wheel."

"You're right," Luke said. "Partly."

The two of them said goodbye to everyone and as Lorelai walked out, she gave Rory a look and mouthed 'No karoke.' She was glad no one else noticed the exchange.

Once they were gone and out of the diner's sight, Jess turned to the three of them. "So...what should we do?"

...

 _Jess was left alone in the inn's entrance, looking at where Rory and her husband had disappeared to. He would never understand why she actually married him or more so, why she was still with him. He left from behind the desk and caught a glimpse of them huddled far from everyone and it looked...intimate. He urged his eyes away and walked to find Luke or Liz._

 _Liz caught him first and hugged him tightly to her. "Here's my baby boy!"_

 _"I'm not a baby anymore, Liz," he said but it was no use. She still held him to her._

 _"I thought you weren't gonna make it," Luke said._

 _Jess used his uncle's presence as reason to get out of his mother's hug and hugged Luke instead. "I almost didn't. Matt and Chris were driving me nuts."_

 _Lorelai laughed. She held Evan in her arms and leaned in to give Jess a short hug. "Can't be worse than them."_

 _He looked to where she pointed to and saw Rory's grandmother standing there with her husband. He laughed. "Possibly true."_

 _"Did you get a room?" Luke asked._

 _Liz got excited. "Please tell me you're staying for Christmas!"_

 _"I am," Jess nodded. "But not long after."_

 _"As long as I get a holiday with my son," she replied. "I'm gonna go get TJ and Doula!"_

 _Luke rolled his eyes at his sister and took Evan to get changed. Lorelai smiled after her husband and before she could turn to go, Jess touched her shoulder._

 _"Is everything all right with Rory?" He asked._

 _"Yeah," she nodded then panicked. "Why?"_

 _"Its nothing," he shrugged._

 _She still looked worried. "No, what is it?"_

 _"I saw her when I came," he explained. "Then Logan came. And I don't know, something seemed different when I saw them talking."_

 _"Different how?" She questioned._

 _Jess was quiet for a second. "Its probably nothing. I'm probably reading into it. Don't even listen to me."_

 _He started to walk away but now she touched his arm. "Jess. If something is wrong with my daughter, you have to tell me."_

 _"Then you'd have to ask her," he answered. "Because unfortunately, me and her don't talk much anymore so if something is wrong, I'm the last person she'd tell."_

 _"Okay," she said, defeated. She let him walk away this time. Jess went outside and stared at the cigeratte pack in his pocket. He threw it down into the snow and sighed. He promised her he'd quit, even now he would keep that promise. With one last sigh, Jess walked back inside to celebrate with the people of Stars Hollow._

 **A/N: and what do you think? A new discovery about RL too, right? We're finally going to dig into their marriage and ending by the way and I'm kind of excited to write that since they got past the show stuff so it's got to be interesting. And next chapter is the babysitting! I'm really excited to write that too :) I hope you liked this and I'm gonna try to get another up asap! Thanks for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Finally! I have been looking forward to this chapter so so much and I'm even more excited to write this one then the last one! I really hope you like it. And the flashbacks will be shorter in this chapter but trust me, it will worth it! Or at least I hope you think so!**

Rory collapsed on the couch, still laughing. Evan fell asleep a half hour ago and Jess had carried him to his current bed. Doula, on the other hand, was a different case entirely. She did not want to go to sleep, saying she was eight years old and didn't have to follow after a five year old. Jess had to read her multiple chapters of Lord of the Rings in order to get her to sleep.

He came and sat beside Rory on the couch, exhaling in exhaust. Rory looked over at him and smirked. "This happen everytime you see her?"

"Pretty much," Jess let out a small laugh. "Always asking me to read one more this or that."

"She's a smart girl," she pointed out. "Like her brother."

He shook his head, bashful. "Nah. That's all her."

"Come on," she said. "A brother who reads every kind of classic possible? She had to get something from you."

"She got the same mother," he shrugged.

She shook her head, smiling. "Its more than that and you know it."

He looked at her, stared almost. She suddenly felt uncomfortable under the weight of his eyes and looked away. Jess looked away too and spoke again. "Too bad she has a brother who couldn't even graduate high school, right?"

Rory looked back over at him and saw the regret all over his face. "You know that has nothing to do with how smart you are."

He shrugged. "It proves how stupid I was, though."

"Jess -"

"No, I know," he said. "I've heard it from Luke enough since. He says my GED counts for something."

"You got your GED?" She asked. "I didn't know that."

"File that under how no one wanted to tell us about the other," Jess said. "I could see why Luke left that out after what I did."

She nods, not in understanding exactly but in agreement. She could see why Luke never told her that bit of information. "Why did you leave? I mean, I know your dad came and you weren't graduating...but why exactly?"

"You remember the night we got into the car accident?" She nodded. "You said to me how I could do more, you believed in me."

Rory waited for him to continue, staring at his face in the meantime. This expression was different, it wasn't the Jess she'd been seeing lately but a Jess of the past. The one she saw glimpses of p during her freshmen year at college and on the bus that faithful morning.

He finally spoke again. "After I was told I wasn't graduating, I thought 'Shit. My girlfriend wanted to go to prom.' I even mentioned that go the principal, actually."

She answered in a sad voice. "I didn't care about that. You could have told me."

"Now I know that," he continued. "But back then, I felt like I was crap. I failed Luke and I failed you. The two of you had so much faith in me and I screwed it up."

She nodded, listening. "Did you...did I make you leave?"

"No," he said without hesitation. She tried to interrupt him but he didn't let her. "I left because of me. Because Luke didn't need to clean my messes and because you deserved more than me, more than how I treated you."

This time she did interrupt. "You didn't treat me bad."

Jess gave her a look. "I certainly wasn't a prince."

"I didn't say you were," she smirked. "But for all the bad times, we had more good."

"If you say so," he replied.

"I do," she nodded ad changed the subject. "I read your books."

"Why?" He asked. "Needed to fall asleep?"

"Shut up," she hit him playfully. "They're good, really good. I couldn't put them down."

"Please," he scoffed.

She laughed. "I'm not lying to make you think they're good. They really are."

Jess gave her a look. "You really like them?"

"I loved them," she corrected.

"I'm glad," he said with a genuine smile. "Thanks."

"I should be thanking you," she said. "For writing them and sharing them."

"Hard not to when you have people like Chris and Matt around," he said. "I read your articles."

"Which one?" She asked.

He shrugged. "All of them."

She stared at him. "You read all of my articles? Every single one of them?"

"Had to keep tabs on you somehow," he said. Rory just kept staring at him so he added, "Besides, I had to know if you followed your dream of international journalist."

"I stayed in the same country," she replied.

Jess nodded. "The Obama campaign. Both of them."

"Exactly," she smiled.

"Did you like those?" He asked. "Following a presidential candidate and reporting on his speeches?"

"I did," she smiled, remembering. "We were on a bus for months and the hotels weren't always the best but...I loved it. I made good friends there and good memories..."

Jess watched her face as she smiled at the memories inside her head. The stupid, high school side of him had to ask. "And that's when you and Logan got married?"

She looked down. "Yeah. I got a break from the campaign so we planned it in short time around that."

"Were you happy?" He asked. He really wanted to know. "With him. Were you?"

"I was," she answered. "Sometimes. Mostly. We had problems, big ones. But when we didn't, he did."

Jess nodded. "How bad was it?"

"We got divorced, didn't we?" She replied then put her head down. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" He asked.

Rory whispered, "You don't want to talk about Logan."

"Not really, no," he laughed.

She smiled softly. "Me, either."

They're both quiet for a moment and she remembers something she had wanted to say moments earlier but didn't say. "You know, for the record, you should have let me decide what I deserved."

"What?"

"When you left," she explained. "You said you thought I deserved better. Maybe I didn't want better. Maybe I wanted you."

Jess stared into her blue eyes, his brown eyes probably saying the same thing back to hers. He couldn't take it anymore, and before she said anything else, he kissed her.

...

 _"Hello?" Jess said as he answered the phone._

 _"Hey, Jess," Luke said in his usual gruff voice._

 _"Luke," he smiled, glad he hadn't gone out with Matt now. "Hey. What's up?"_

 _"Nothing is up, exactly," the older man said. "But I do have news."_

 _"Really?" Jess smirked. "Well, tell me. Don't keep me in suspense, Uncle Luke."_

 _"Lorelai and I are getting married," Luke finally said. "For real this time. We're gonna do it."_

 _"Wow," Jess was speechless. All sarcastic comments were erased from his mind as he thought of how much this means to Luke. "Congratulations. I'm glad to hear that."_

 _"Really?" Luke asked. "And you have no smart-ass replies to say?"_

 _"None," Jess answered and leaned back in his chair. "I'm happy for you, Luke. This is a good thing."_

 _"Thank you," Luke replied. Jess bet that he was blushing if he could see him right now._

 _Jess nodded. "You're welcome."_

 _"Which leads me to another thing," Luke said. "One I'm not sure you'll be too excited for."_

 _Jess sighed. "Like what? Are you forcing me into something?"_

 _"Only the wedding party," Luke said._

 _"What?" Jess asked. "You want me in the wedding party?"_

 _Luke's voice was a mix of hopeful and trying to hold back when he spoke next. "I want you to be my best man, Jess."_

 _"Wow," Jess repeated. He wasn't expecting that at all._

 _"You can say no," Luke backed up. "I'd understand if you did."_

 _"I'm not saying no," Jess found himself saying._

 _Luke sighed in relief. "You're not?"_

 _"No," he smirked. "After all you've done for me, Uncle Luke, I'd be honored."_

 _"I'm glad," he said truthfully. Both men were glad about this really. "I thought maybe you might think it was weird because of Rory. You almost didn't come to your mom's wedding because of her, after all."_

 _"That was different," Jess said. "That was Liz, first of all. Second...it was closer to, well, to everything. I've changed since then."_

 _"Good," Luke said and now Jess imagined him smiling. "I'm glad."_

 _"Me, too," Jess said into the phone. "Congrats, Luke. I'm happy for you."_

 _"Thanks, Jess."_

...

Rory kissed Jess back with everything in her it felt like. All the things she'd been thinking about since she'd seen him again at Luke's, since that kiss before she went back to the city all came out in that kiss. His hands were on both sides of her face, holding her to him. Her hands slid to his hair, while now shorter still felt as soft as she remembered.

Neither if them felt like they could pull apart if they tried, not even for air. Finally, she did because as much as she was enjoying this, she had a question burning the back of her mind. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

She panted, staring into his eyes. "I thought we were trying to be friends."

"We were," he answered.

"Then why -"

"Did I kiss you?" He finished for her. Rory nodded. "I don't know. What you said, I just couldn't help it, I guess."

"Oh," she said.

His eyes searched her face. "What?"

Rory looked anywhere but his face, feeling his eyes on her. She leaned out of his embrace and sat back. "So its only what I said? There's no lingering feelings? If I said something else, it never would have happened?"

"I didn't say that," he defended.

"Then what?" She felt like her emotions were all bubbling over, as if she wasn't sure she could make it through this another second if he said he didn't mean it. It felt embarrassing to be the only one of the two who felt this way.

"I don't know," he simply said. "It sounds like bullshit but its not. And hearing you say you wanted me, that I didn't need to feel and be like the jackass I was back then...it means something."

Rory just nodded then spoke. "I wanted to say yes. Did you know that?"

Jess gave her a strange look. "What?"

"When you came to my dorm," she clarified. "And begged me to run away with you. I wanted to say yes."

"Why are you telling me this now?" He asked.

"Because..." She stumbled for words and said the beat ones she could find. "You deserve to know. That when I said the final no, it wasn't because I didn't want to be with you. It was because I was afraid of you hurting me again."

"So you told me no because it was the only way I'd go away," he finished. "Just like I said not to. I guess I didn't exactly deserve your honesty after all I'd done."

"It wasn't about being honest," she shook her head. "I was scared. You broke my heart so badly and I said on the phone I wasn't going to pine but I did. Everyone knows I did."

He listened carefully and watched the expressions change on her face as she talked. "How? How did they know?"

She laughed without humor. "I didn't date for a year. I couldn't even imagine dating after you. It wasn't until after you came to my dorm that I tried to move on."

"Logan?" He asked as carefully as he listened.

"No," she shook her head and closed her eyes. "Not Logan."

His face was confused, trying to figure it out, why she looked so pale. Then it clicked. "Dean."

Rory closed her eyes and looked down in shame. "It wasn't my proudest moment."

"You and Dean -" he started then stopped, afraid of what exactly he wanted to ask. "You got back together?"

"Yes," she answered.

"Wasn't he married?" He asked. He hadn't really paid much attention to him right before he left besides the fight and he paid even less when he came back.

Rory's eyes tightened and he knew the answer. She wasn't sure if she was answering about their marriage or her and Dean 2.0 when she replied. "It didn't last."

"What happened?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"He got divorced," she sniffled. "We dated for a few months and I met Logan while we were together. He broke up with me at this ridiculous party my grandmother threw to pair me up with a Yale man."

Jess resisted the urge to say a sarcastic comment about how that figured she would throw a party so she can date a rich playboy. He nodded, still listening. "Did I push you to him? By coming that night?"

"I don't know," she answered though she did know; she probably even had back then.

"I am sorry," Jess told her in a low voice. "For everything. For coming after you while you had a boyfriend, for not treating you right, for leaving, for coming back when I should have left you alone."

"Its okay," she smiled. He was glad to see her eyes open again. "It really is. I think we needed to go through that pain to get here, right now."

"All of it?" He smirked on the outside while wincing on the inside as he imagined as he had felt in her dorm and at Truncheon.

"All of it," she confirmed.

Jess let out a laugh. "Even Dean?"

She laughed and wiped a tear from her eye. "Yes, even Dean."

"You sure?" He asked, still laughing. "What even happened to him? After you guys broke up?"

"He worked for Tom in construction for a few years," she said. "But a couple of years ago, he left Stars Hollow to start his own company I think."

"Wow," Jess said. "So you haven't seen him?"

"Not in about five or so years, give or take," she replied.

He just laughed again and was glad they steered it away from thinking how he possibly pushed them together.

...

 _"Oh my god," Rory exclaimed. "You're not kidding me? You're serious?"_

 _"Yes!" Lorelai said with a nod. Her daughter hugged her so tightly in excitement. "We're getting married! Luke proposed last night."_

 _"Oh my god," she repeated. "Mom, this is incredible. I'm so happy for you."_

 _Lorelai beamed as they each pulled out of the hug. "I told you the news was worth being here for, right?"_

 _"Yes," Rory laughed. "Are you gonna do it soon or are you waiting?"_

 _"We only just got engaged, hun," Lorelai laughed in a teasing manner. "But I'm hoping fast because we've waited long enough."_

 _Rory nodded. "Way too long."_

 _"And right now," she said to her daughter. "Luke is calling Jess and asking him to be his best man so it is my duty to ask will you be my maid of honor?"_

 _"You even have to ask?" Rory gasped. "Of course I will be!"_

 _"Oh, sweets!" She hugged her daughter again. "I'm so happy, you have no idea."_

 _"I think I have some," Rory smirked. "Mom, you're getting married."_

 _Lorelai smiled widely. "I know, kiddo."_

 _"To Luke," she said excitedly. "Finally."_

 _"I can't wait," Lorelai said with a huge smile as she hugged her daughter again. "So get ready because we're gonna look for dresses later!"_

 _Rory laughed. "I should have figured."_

 _"I told you we're not waiting," she joked. "I don't think I can wait after everything we went through."_

 _"Good," the younger girl beamed. "When do you want it to be?"_

 _"Soon is all I know," Lorelai laughed as she led Rory to the couch. "Luke is going to Philadelphia to get Jess ready."_

 _"Why isn't he just coming here?" Rory asked curiously. She would never admit how nervous she was about the idea of seeing Jess again after what happened._

 _"I don't know," she waved it off. "All I know is Luke will be my husband and it is really going to happen this time."_

 _Rory hugged her mom again. "I'm so happy for you, Mom. Rely really happy."_

 _"Thank you, kid."_

...

Jess opened the apartment door as slow was possible. Why had he offered to get coffee and pie alone? Opening a door should not be this difficult. Rory smiled happily when he returned, face glowing at the prospect of food and coffee. "This was not as good of a plan as I pictured."

Rory laughed. "You could have asked for help, you know."

"I thought it'd be fine," he gave her a sad face and placed the tray in front of her. "Here. As you asked for."

"My hero," she smiled and took a fork and immediately started eating the peach pie. "Oh my god."

"What?" He asked.

"This is amazing," she half-moaned and wiped her mouth with her index finger. "Like even more than usual."

"You really think so?" He smirked.

She nodded with a giant smile on her face. "If I could marry this pie, I would."

"I'm glad to hear that," he said, smirk still in place. "Because I made that."

"What?" She asked and her fork almost dropped.

He nodded to the plate in front of her. "I made that."

"You made this?" She asked in surprise. "You bake?"

"When Luke asks for help," he shrugged and took his own plate and coffee.

"Wow," she said. "You're really good."

"Thanks," he said.

Both ate in silence, Rory occasionally stealing glances at Jess as he finished his plate. She finished off her coffee and quietly asked, "Jess?"

"Hmm?"

"What's going on with us?" She said.

He gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" She half-laughed then said more seriously. "We were just kissing. And not just a short kiss, either."

He was quiet again and she almost huffed out in loud in annoyance. Rory really wanted to know what was happening before she assumed anything. "I don't know."

She nodded. "Me, either."

"What do you want us be doing?" Jess asked in a whisper.

"I want you in my life," she admitted honestly. "And more than what we usually do. Not just acquaintances who see each other occasionally because they have important people in common."

"I'd like that, too," he said seriously. "Whenever something happens, you're still the first person I think of to tell it to."

She thought she felt her heart swell when he said that. Rory looked into his eyes and saw honestly in them, no lies. "Me, too. I miss when we were friends, back before we dated, before we kissed. It was so easy."

"It was," he agreed. "I remember you were the only person I wanted to talk to. Sometimes, you still are."

"But we had good times after, too," she said. "We still had that friendship in our relationship, even if we didn't share everything."

"And by we, you mean me," he stated.

"No." Jess gave her a look that challenged the two little letters. "Really. I wasn't entirely honest either and you probably more than know that."

"You mean the stuff about Dean?" He asked curiously. "That seems little compared to what I hid."

"I still didn't tell you everything," she apologized. "And I'm sorry. I'm sure I didn't make it any easier to talk to me about stuff when I wasn't telling you everything myself."

"You're forgiven," he smiled at her and she smiled back. They found themselves staring into each others eyes and once again, found themselves leaning in. Before their lips could touch, the door to the apartment opened and they jumped away from each other. Both Rory and Jess looked to the door to find Luke and Lorelai standing there. It felt like high school all over again.

"Hey!" Lorelai said. She looked at the two of them on the couch and the plates and forks with coffee cups on the table in front of them. "What's going on here?"

"Evan and Doula went to sleep a little over an hour ago," Rory told them.

"Oh," Lorelai zipped her lips. "Sorry."

"Let's go downstairs," Luke suggested. "Though it looks like you two already stole from down there."

Jess smirked. "We were above a diner. It was too tempting not to."

Luke glared at him. "You're paying for it, you know that, right?"

"Yes, sir," he kept smirking.

The four of them went downstairs to update on how Luke and Lorelai's date went and how the babysitting was - not mentioning certain events afterwards. Rory was happy to hear they went to where they had their first date and that Lorelai had even made it through dinner without feeling sick. They'd even made plans to tell the town about her pregnancy before Rory left tomorrow night.

The whole time they talked, Lorelai asked Rory silent questions with her eyes. Instead of answering, she just looked away and tried to prepare herself for whatever tomorrow meant and the interrogation that was sure to follow.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thank you once again to everyone still doing anything with this story, it means the world and I'm so glad I'm not alone on this journey! And we *will* be getting into those RL flashbacks and what happened :)**

Rory groaned as she walked out of Lane's house that morning. Taylor and Miss Patty were whispering to each other and as soon as they saw her, they stopped. She had stayed at Lane's rather than forcing her mom to find space in the upstairs apartment or worse depending on who's opinion, forcing Jess to stay with his mom and TJ. But apparently that didn't stop the Stars Hollow rumor mill from turning.

Instead of dreading the oncoming looks, she held her head high and walked towards the diner. They looked over at her as she passed, thankfully it wasn't more of a crowd as it had been yesterday. Miss Patty followed her and soon was right beside her. "Good morning,sweetheart."

"Morning," Rory smiled, trying not to worry about what she might say.

The two of them stopped walking and stood face to face. "Are you headed to the diner, dear?"

"I am," she nodded. "Gonna go see my mom, Luke, my little brother."

"And Jess?" She asked expectantly.

Rory braced herself, desparate to hide her happiness over what occurred last night. "He will be there so yeah."

Miss Patty looked delighted. "I hear you were alone in that apartment together last night."

"My brother and his sister were there," she pointed out. "We weren't exactly alone."

"Of course," she nodded. "And after.."

"After my mom and Luke came home," Rory finished. No need for the town to know exactly what happened.

"Oh," her face fell.

Rory smiled. "Sorry to disappoint, Miss Patty."

She started to walk away when Miss Patty yelled behind her. "Remember that time the two of you broke into my studio and Taylor caught you in that compromising position?"

Rory's face turned beet red but she didn't turn around. "Yes."

Patty just laughed, not one of humor but one of knowing. "You two have always had quite the chemistry."

Instead of responding, Rory said nothing and just walked forward to the diner. She felt her blush forming so she looked down at the ground and hoped it wouldn't be weird when they saw each other again.

...

 _"Why do you want me to go again?" Rory asked Logan as he finished working on his tie. "Your father doesn't want me there."_

 _"I don't care what my father wants," he told her._

 _She frowned. "Isn't that supposed to be the opposite way when you work for him?"_

 _"I don't think so," he said._

 _"Really?" She put her hands on her hips and stared at him. "You don't have to speak nicely of your boss?"_

 _He laughed. "No. Not when he has a problem with my wife and the mother of my future child."_

 _"Well, when you put it that way," she smiled softly._

 _Logan gave her a smile of his own. "Then that will be the way I put it."_

 _"We're still not telling anyone yet?" She asked, her voice softening._

 _"Do you want to?" He asked his wife._

 _She spoke without a thought. "I would love to tell my mom."_

 _"You should, then," he replied. "I know how badly you want to."_

 _"Really?" She asked, unsure. "Because telling Mom means the whole Stars Hollow will know by nightfall and you didn't want too many people know yet."_

 _"I know what I said," Logan shrugged and smile still in place. "But its your mom and you want her to know she's gonna be a grandmother."_

 _"Don't say the 'G' word to her," Rory threatened. "She'll want to be just Lorelai to this baby."_

 _Logan watched Rory place her hands lovingly on her belly. "She can be whatever she wants."_

 _"I thought you wanted go wait," she countered._

 _"I did," he agreed._

 _"Then why -"_

 _"Am I telling you to tell someone?" She nodded. "Well, one because its not just anyone you'd tell, its your mom. Second, because there's no harm in your parents knowing say compared to mine."_

 _She nods. "And what about telling everyone else?"_

 _He shook his head. "It's still really tiny. We should wait til you're further along."_

 _"What, like seven months?" She joked._

 _"More like two to three," he suggested. "We did find out pretty early."_

 _"You're right," she sighs and walks towards her husband. "But I still don't understand why I have to go tonight."_

 _"How about because you love me?" He teased._

 _She makes a thinking face, squinting her eyes. "Do I?"_

 _"Come on," he says with a laugh. "Get ready. Wear something absolutely gorgeous and sexy, which you will have no problem with, and let me show you off."_

 _Rory blushed and smiled. "You've shown me off plenty of times before."_

 _"Well, then let me do it again," he told her._

 _She nodded and kissed him quickly. "Fine. But I won't be happy about it."_

 _"I wouldn't dare ask you to be," Logan laughs and kissed her again. Rory went into her special closest of dresses and heels, one she only ventured into when Logan had a formal party to attend, and looked for the perfect dress._

...

The bells once again chimed as the door to the diner opened. She looked around and saw Babette sittimg with her husband, Morty. Rory hoped to God that she could pass without any attention on her. Everyone sat in stunned silence and Luke smiled when he saw her.

"Hey, Luke," she sat at the counter.

Her stepfather smiled at her brightly. Ot was fast and quickly faded when he noticed people watching him as well. "Hey, Rory. Looking for your mom?"

She nodded. "Is she here?"

"Nah," he shool his head and poured her a cup of coffee, handing it to her. "After Evan went to school, she headed down to the inn."

"Oh," she whispered then drank some of the coffee. "Maybe I'll go down there to see her."

"I'm sure she'd like that," he watched her. There was something she wasn't saying - or asking was maybe a better word. He put two and two together, getting better at it since being with Lorelai and figure out what it was. "Jess is upstairs."

"Oh?" Her hand snapped up.

"Yep," Luke nodded.

"Is it all right if I -"

He waved his head towards the familiar curtain. "Go ahead."

She smiled a silent thank you at him and drank the last of her coffee. Taking a deep breath, she pushed aside the curtain and and walked up the stairs. Jess was sitting at the table when she entered, writing something down in a notebook. He looked up when he heard the door and a smirk formed on his lips.

"Hey," he simply said.

She couldn't help it - she smirked back. "Hey."

Jess walked up to her and kissed her lightly. "Is that okay?"

Nodding, Rory smiled. "Yeah. It is."

"Good," his smirk was gone and turned to a smile. But he quickly recovered into his more usual self. "It'd probably make it hard to go back to just friends if I'm kissing you when you walk into a room, right?"

"I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't mind," she laughed.

"So me and you - " he gestured between the two of them "- what is this?"

"I was gonna ask the same thing, actually," she replied. "But I know my thoughts."

He waited then asked, "What are they?"

"That I want to try this," she smiled. "That there's obviously something still here."

"That's what I was thinking, too," Jess told her. "Though I wasn't sure how you felt so its nice to know we're on the same page."

"We are," Rory smiled at him and he leaned in again, kissing her once more. Her hands went to his hair. His hands went to her waist and they stood there in front the door kissing for what felt like hours.

When they finally broke apart, Jess leaned his forehead against hers, a smile playing on his lips again. "Its been a long time since we did that."

"If I remember correctly," she pointed out, "we did this last night."

"I mean, before now." He opened his eyes and looked at her as she opened hers again, letting him stare into the blue he loved so much. Then he added in a much quieter voice. "Before Philly."

"Philly," she sighed and whispered at the same time. The one word caused Rory to walk away from Jess' glance and further into the room. "For a moment there, I forgot what I did."

Jess looked down at his feet. "I haven't forgotten ."

She nodded sadly. "I am sorry. About all of it."

"I know," he said. "You told me."

"I meant it then and I mean it now," Rory apologized. "And I don't want that come between who we are now."

"It won't," Jess replied.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Really?" She asked, worried.

He laughed, shaking his head. "If you think that's gonna end this before it begins, then all the things I've done are going to make us enemies."

Rory laughed, too, ducking her head down then back up. "You're right."

"How about we focus on now?" He asked her. "We enjoy this, we see what happens. No dredging up the past, okay?"

"Okay," she agrees. "Deal."

He kissed her again, more inside the apartment this time and her arms wrapped around his back now. Jess' hands were higher on her back and she melted into him. They were breathing heavily before they knew it and they were face to face, chest to chest. Neither moved when they broke apart, they just stood there smiling and smirking at each other. Rory kissed him again. "I like this."

"Me, too," he said.

"Sadly, I have to go," she told him.

He pouted teasingly. "Where to?"

"I want to see my mom," she answered. "I'm leaving tonight."

"Back to New York," he stated. She just nodded. "When?"

"I guess around six, seven," she said. "I wanted dinner with everyone before I go."

Jess wrapped his arms tighter around her. "Am I invited?"

"Of course," she blushed. "If you want to come."

"I do."

"So come."

"Okay."

Before she said anything else, Jess kissed her another time. Once again he succeeded at making her speechless and taking her breath away. Rory had to admit she really liked this new development. She giggled a little. "Your beard tickles."

He laughed. "Sorry."

Rory laughed and gave him another quick kiss. "I'll see you later?"

"Definitely," he smirked at her and after planting one more kiss on her lips, Rory walked out of his arms and to the door. They gave each other small waves and she was out the door.

Once downstairs, Luke was the first to notice the smile on her face but certainly not the only. Babette and Morty were now joined by Miss Patty and Kirk. To say they stared the most was an understatment when compared to the intent looks of everyone else. The smile faded from Rory's face as she realized all the expectant faces looking at her.

"So?" Babette asked.

Rory didn't answer but turned to Luke. "I'm going to see my mom. You'll be at dinner tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," he told her.

She smiled but this was a different one than when she came downstairs. This one was more familial. "Thanks, Luke."

"See you then," he called after her.

As she was closing the door behind her,is Patty asked Luke, "Please tell me that delicious nephew of yours is upstairs."

Rory laughed as she walked away, crossing her arms in front of her chest. It was a little breezy today and it felt extremely nice for an August day. She even dare say the day was perfect, though it may have less to do with the weather and more to do with a certain man. Her car was parked in front of Lane's and she climbed into the seat and sighed, smiling in her privacy.

Then, finally, she drove out of her spot and towards her mother's inn. Michel barely batted an eye when he saw her enter, so used to her that he didn't even pretend there could be a guest. Sookie spotted her first and gasped in excitement. "Rory!"

"Hi, Sookie!" She beamed and hugged her. "Is my mom around?"

"Yeah, she's in the back," the redhead replied. "Was she expecting you?"

"No," Rory smiled. "A little surprise for my last day."

"Oh," Sookie pouted. "You're going back already?"

"Tonight," she nodded.

"Don't make me sad so early!" Lorelai said as she marched into the room.

"I was just gonna come surprise you!" Rory exclaimed.

"Michel apparently didn't want me be surprised," Lorelai said as she hugged her daughter. "Hi, sweets."

"Can I talk to you?" Rory asked her mom.

"Hmm, sounds serious," Lorelai murmered. "If I say no, can we avoid this until later?"

"Mom!" She laughed. "Please."

"Fine," Lorelai reluctantly agreed. They walked towards an empty part of the dining area and sat down. "Tell me whatever it is."

Rory smiled shyly. "Me and Jess are...back together."

Lorelai nodded. "And?"

"And what?" Rory asked confused.

"How did it happen?" She asked. "The babysitting? Did getting you two together actually, you know, get you two together?"

"Gross, Mom," Rory sighed. "Yes and no."

"Explain," Lorelai demanded. "If this involves the two of you doing unspeakable things while my son slept not too far away..."

"We only kissed," Rory answered with a smile. "And we talked about some stuff."

"Ooh, some stuff," Lorelai teased. "Sounds kinky."

Rory rolled her eyes with a smile. "It was just...nice. And I saw him this morning."

"Aha," Lorelai smirked. "Is that when the kinky stuff happened?"

"No kinky stuff!" Rory yelled with another laugh. "Just talking...and other things."

Lorelai raised her eyebrows. "Am I supposed to believe other stuff doesn't meant something kinky?"

"Mind out of the gutter," Rory said. "No kinky stuff."

"Fine," she gave up. "But to let you know, I'm not exactly surprised."

"Because you set up us babysitting?" Rory asked.

"No," Lorelai shook her head."Because of what you told me."

She nodded, going along with it. "So you're gonna hold that over me?"

"Nah," her mother told her. "Just stating facts. Honesty is the best policy, after all."

"Uh-huh," Rory said, her mind floating elsewhere at her words. "Okay, Mom. You win."

"Yes!" Lorelai cheered. "I love winning!"

...

Jess dangled his legs over the bridge, looking down into the water. Whenever he was in Stars Hollow and needed somewhere to go, this was his place. After last night and this morning, he'd be lying if he didn't admit he was afraid. His stupid mention of Philly held in his mind and he scolded himself for even thinking it.

He didn't want to be thinking of their past, certainly not his moments where he caused pain so he shouldn't be thinking of hers. Jess watched the ripples in the water and turned himself back to things they had said in the last 24 hours. Rory had told him she wanted him back then, that none of the shit he believed mattered actually did. He really had felt like he had failed her twelve years ago and to hear her say he didn't, at least not for what he thought he did, was almost empowering.

Quickly, he switched his thoughts to the kisses from last night and this morning. It just felt right. More right than the kiss before she went back to New York City and that kiss was pretty damn right too. A smile spread across his face as he remembered the way she felt and the way she tasted. She was just as he remembered if not better.

As if on cue, a shadow fell over him from the end of the bridge and walked towards him. Jess looked up to see who it was and his assumption was confirmed as Rory approached. He smiled at her and she did the same back, coming to sit next to him. "Hi."

"Hi," he smirked and wrapped his arm around her. Rory snuggled into him, eyes closed with a look on content on her face. "Does this feel like déjà vu to you too?"

She laughed. "A little. It almost feels like we're back in high school."

"I'd like to think some things have changed," he whispered to her.

Rory felt Jess' lips touch her hair and she smiled. "Some did. Some didn't."

"That's true," he agreed with a nod. "Like me and you. Here we are again after everything that's happened."

"Right," she said. Her face paled and she leaned away from him. "Jess?"

He stared at her face worriedly. "What's wrong? Are you regretting this or did I-"

"Nothing's wrong," she shook her head. "Not now. Its just..."

"What?" He asked.

"There's something I have to tell you," she took a deep breath. "Something I never really told anyone before."

His voice is quiet when he speaks next, a hundred percent listening to whatever it is that's eating at her. "Okay."

"I know you said no dredging up the past," she started. "And I'm not trying to. But I feel like of we have any hope of making this work, I have to be honest and tell you this."

"Now you really have me worried," he said, half serious and half trying to joke.

"You don't have to worry," her eyes softened and she touched his face. "Its not something of the present. It's about the past - my past."

"I'm listening," Jess told her. "You can tell me."

Rory took another deep breath and closed her eyes, working the ways to say it out loud. "A few years ago, I was pregnant. I found out right before you came on Christmas after Evan was born. Remember?"

Jess nodded. "I remember."

She nodded too and stared out at the water, continuing. "We went to this party for his work a couple of weeks later. It was a New Years party slash a business thing. Logan had gotten upset at his dad, I don't know why. Probably something like the usual."

Rory closed her eyes then re-opened them, still staring at the water. Jess watched her as she went on. "He drank. A lot, actually. And on the way home, we started fighting. I guess he wasn't paying attention to the road but we crashed...into another car. They were fine, no one was killed of that family."

With eyes now done at her feet, Rory stopped talking. Jess leaned closer to her and wrapped his arm once again over her shoulder but not as romance this time, but of comfort. He didn't say another and neither did she. She just cried onto his shirt until the tears stopped and she wiped her face with her palm.

Finally, after one more sniff Rory pulled away from Jess and looked into his eyes this time. His face was sympathetic and soft. "At the hospital, when the doctor told me the baby was gone, I lost it. I had never even told my mom I was pregnant and there I was grieving over my child. When she came, I didn't tell her. She still believes we were lucky that night and not that she lost her grandchild."

"I can't imagine," he whispers. "Not even being able to talk about it...I had no idea, Rory."

She nodded and wiped at her eyes again. "Logan promised me he wouldn't drink again after we got out of the hospital. But I caught him coming home and we would fight and I knew it was over. How do you get past something like that?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. Jess wasn't sure of what to say so he let her speak and said as little as possible.

"I've wanted to tell my mom," she said. "Plenty of times. But now it's been so long and I don't really know how to being it up."

"Maybe do what you just did," he suggested. "The way you came to tell me."

"Maybe," she agreed. "Thank you for listening."

"Thank you for telling me," he replied.

"I don't want any secrets," she told him. "And this was my biggest one."

"I don't want there to be, either." He nodded and kissed her head. "I have a sort of sister."

"What?" She gave him a confused look.

"Lily," he said. "She's Jimmy's girlfriend's kid. They never made it official but me and her, we kept in contact after that summer. She's kind of like my little sister now."

"That's really great," she murmered. "Can I meet her?"

"Maybe," he smiled at her. "One day."

"Good," she nodded and smiled back for the first time since coming to the bridge. "Time to go to dinner?"

"Let's go," he told her, once again putting his arm around her and walking off the bridge.

...

 _"Oh my god, sweets," Lorelai rushed into the room. "Are you okay?"_

 _It took Rory a moment to focus on what was happening. Her mother was here. Hadn't she asked for her? She couldn't even remember much besides the numbing pain she felt when she thought of why she was in the hospital. "Mom."_

 _"Are you okay?" She repeated._

 _Rory didn't know how to answer truthfully. To say yes would be a lie - she was broken inside and to say no would lead to explanations she was not ready to give. She settled for a part of the truth. "The doctor says I'm going to be fine."_

 _Lorelai sat next to her on the bed, taking her hand. "So...Logan was drinking?"_

 _Rory nodded and stared at their hands together on the bed. She could barely function thoughts let alone a conversation, especially this one where the other person involved was missing parts of the puzzle. "Yeah."_

 _"Hun," Lorelai rubbed her hands over her daughter's. "I'm so glad you're all right. Logan's parents are here and Luke is outside. We left Evan with, believe it or not, Grandma."_

 _When Rory didn't smile or comment about Emily, Lorelai began to worry. Rory saw the expression written all over her face and responded. "I'm really tired, Mom. Do you think I can just sleep?"_

 _"Of course," Lorelai told her. "I'm sorry. Of course you want to sleep and of course its okay. Sleep, hun. I'll be right here."_

 _"Thanks, Mom," she did her best to smile and could feel herself cringing._

 _Lorelai kissed her daughter on the head and walked out of the room. Rory saw Luke hug her mom and then whispering to each other. She closed her eyes as the tears fell and she finally fell asleep once she heard her mom creep back into the room._

...

After dinner, Jess walked Rory out of the diner and to her car. Luke seemed glad that they were working on being together while Evan, on the other hand, asked a lot of questions since one is his sister and the other is his cousin. That one got a lot of laughs from Lorelai and Jess had almost choked on his food.

"You're gonna be okay driving back?" Jess asked her when she unlocked her car.

Rory nodded. "Yeah. I've done the drive before."

"Okay," he said. "When are you coming back?"

"I'm not sure," she made a face. "Work has been crazy. I'm lucky I got to come now."

He made his own face, pulling his lips in and out almost like a duck. "I'll come see you."

"You're staying here?" She asked. "What about work?"

"I'll go back to work," he shrugged. "But I'll still have time to visit you."

"And we'll talk a lot," she added. "Every day."

"You'll get tired of me," he told her. "Hell,what if I get tired of you?"

She hit him on the shoulder and he put his hand over it in pretend pain. "I hate leaving you right when we're starting again."

"Think of it like this," he suggested and wrapped his arms around her waist. "The reunion will be killer."

She nodded in agreement, smiling. "That is true."

She leaned in and kissed him then, her hands now around his neck. Jess pulled Rory closer to him and they stood there, kissing for what felt like an hour. When they broke apart, he smiled. "I am going to miss doing that while you're gone."

"Me, too," she smiled.

They let go of each other and Rory opened her car door, turning back to Jess. "Promise we'll talk?"

"Promise," he put his hands up as if it were an oath. "And thank you...for earlier, for trusting me."

Rory gave him a small smile, acknowledging what his words mean. "Thank you for listening."

"No problem," he said and kissed her forehead.

"I really should be going," she explained. "Don't want it get too late."

"Okay," he nodded.

"Bye, Jess," she kissed him quick but meaningful.

He smirked at her. "See yoy later, Rory."

She climbed into her car, shutting the door and looked up at him. He waved at her which made her wave back. Fjnally, she started the car so Jess backed up and Rory pulled out of the space and drove away from him and Stars Hollow.

As Jess turned back to the diner, he noticed Kirk and Babette in the distance, watching. Great, he thought, now the rumor mill is going to be working overtime tomorrow.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he walked back to the diner and locked the door behind him. He was already missing Rory though she had only just left. It was gonna be a long night.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Thank you so much once again for the feedback! I love how positive the reviews for the last chapter were. It means so so much! :)**

Jess tapped his pen on the table, counting how many times he did so. One, two, three, ten, sixteen...he wondered how long he'd been sitting there and not getting any writing done. He thought writing on paper onstead of a laptop would help but his mind was focused on Rory and what she had told him. A week had passed since they decided to give it another try but it was still nagging at him what she went through. He could kill Logan for it. He wanted to.

Instead of continuing where he left off, all he thought of were things to say to her and how she might have felt, still might be feeling too. Then his mind told him how she probably found a way to move on already, that she had already grieved and her telling him was probably just her wanting to be honest, not to start a big discussion about it. Jess sighed, throwing his pen down. His notes weren't even getting much thought into them.

After turning his head to his cell phone, Jess picked it up and stared at her number before dialing. It rang a few times and then he heard the familiar voice. "Hey, its Rory. You missed me and I'm sorry to have missed you too. Leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as possible."

Jess smiled, thinking back to the kooky voicemail openers her mom used to leave. Back in high school, he got a kick out of them but he was glad that Rory was capable of having a normal one even if it was probably just in case work called. He sighed and put his phone back down besides him on the table and tried to concentrate.

He had just finished half a page of notes when the door burst open and in walked Lorelai. She looked surprised to see him there. "Hey."

"Hey," he leaned back in his chair.

She looked at him questionably. "You're not with Luke today at the house?"

"Nah," he shook his head. "Luke figured I needed a break from Kirk for the day. So I'm here while Lane and Cesar run the diner."

She nodded, smiling. "Lane is gonna inherit this place one day, I swear."

"I bet she gets it instead of me," he smirked.

"Well, he is her kids' godfather," she pointed out. "That'd be a pretty nice gift back."

"Hey, I'm family," he pointed out, feigning hurt.

Lorelai smirked back and sat down at the table. "Maybe when you have kids of your own then."

Jess stared at her and she snapped her mouth shut in shock. Maybe it was a mistake to say even as a joke considering the latest development of the man in front of her and her daughter. He saved her from any more awkward silence. "Or April."

"Right," she agreed, grateful. "Though I hear she has a boyfriend..."

Jess laughed. "Luke must be tormented."

"Oh, he is," she laughed. "Think Rory 2.0."

"That's pretty bad," he replied with an almost grin.

"Imagine if she lived closer," she suggested. "Or worse, right upstairs his diner like you did!"

"He'd be collecting condiments every five minutes," he gasped in mock surprise.

Lorelai smiled at him. "This is probably going to be really weird considering our history but since we're sitting here, laughing together. And I'd like to think me and you get along better now, too."

He looked her suspiciously, wondering where she was going with this. "What's so weird?"

She sighed, letting out a breath. "I'm glad the two of you are giving it a second chance."

If Jess had been eating or drinking anything right now, he swore he could have choked on it. "Say that again?"

"You heard me," she said. "Don't make me repeat it."

Jess grinned. "Oh, I did hear you but I'd like to hear it again."

"Shut up or I'll tell Luke he has to watch you two like a hawk again," she pointed at him accusingly.

"I'd like to see him try," Jess shrugged. "Neither of us even live here."

"He will find a way," she nodded determinedly. "Oh yes he will."

The grin slid off Jess' face and he turned serious. "But really. I know we...get along now, I guess is the right words, but I never expected to hear you say you were glad about us."

"Consider us both surprised," she replied. "But I've noticed something in Rory since she saw you again and even more so in her voice when we talk after you two got back together. It hasn't been that long but there's a difference. I think you can...or do make her happy."

Jess was silent, waiting for a punch line. When he didn't get one, he said in a low voice, "Thanks. That...that means a lot."

"You're welcome," she told him. "Though, if you tell anyone I said this, I will make you pay."

"I have no doubt's about it," he confirmed.

She nodded with a menacing stare on her face. "Good, then."

...

 _The sun was way too bright. Jess squinted at the light and remembered what it was like in California all those years ago. That helped some to think how this was the not the brightest day he's ever seen. But still - the sun was too bright._

 _He walked across the street of Truncheon and down to the coffee shop he was instructed to. When he walked on, he didn't see her yet so he went on line and ordered himself a simple, regular coffee. Jess would never understand why exactly people drank all those fancy things on the menu. Once he got his order and turned around after paying, he noticed her._

 _A smile broke out on his face when he saw Jen. Her blonde hair was swept into a side braid and her own face mirrored his smile as she made her way to him. When she reached him, she kissed him softly on the lips and Jess felt himself smile against her mouth, a bigger smile than when she walked in. "Hey."_

 _"Hey," he replied. Jess motioned to a table in a corner and they moved to it, swerving the tables. "How are your parents?"_

 _"As positive as always," Jen's voice was icy._

 _"What happened?" They sat down and the expression on his face was concerned._

 _"What always happens," she sighed. "They told me I'm not doing anything with my life working in a bookstore. They don't think I should be dating someone who works in one either because then you won't support me if I continue to work in said bookstore."_

 _"Did you tell them I'm an author too?" Jess asked teasingly._

 _She gave him a look and he laughed. "I've tried that. They can't get past the part where you're not as famous as J.K. Rowling."_

 _"Maybe I don't want to be as famous as J.K. Rowling," he shrugged and drank some of his coffee._

 _"Shit," she muttered, realizing she didn't order herself anything. "I didn't get my own coffee. I'll be right back."_

 _He smirked into his cup and took another drink. When she got back, coffee in hand, she smiled. "I'm sorry. You don't want to hear this."_

 _"I don't mind," he shrugged._

 _"You should," she argued. "Here I am, complaining about my parents not approving of my life when you never really had your parents care about yours."_

 _"So?" He asked. It had been hard enough for him to admit about Liz and Jimmy so hearing her say it now almost made him go completely silent. "My parents are the past. If you even want to call them my parents."_

 _"See?" She gestured to him with her arms after drinking some of her coffee. "You actually have reason to complain."_

 _He shook his head, looked down at his feet then back at his girlfriend. "It doesn't matter. Not anymore."_

 _"Of course it does," her voice softened. "Jess, I'm sorry."_

 _"You don't have to be," Jess told her. "You can tell me whatever shitty thing your parents said or did and I'm not gonna break into some emotional mess how my daddy left me."_

 _"I know," she agreed. "But I feel bad."_

 _"Don't," he said and touched her hand. "Really. I'm fine."_

 _She smiled at him. "So you really want to hear all about the visit?"_

 _"Sure," he nodded. "Why not?"_

 _Jen laughed and started telling him everything that happened since she left for her parents until when she drove back into town._

...

Rory dropped her purse into her car and took a deep breath. She was exhausted. Her editor had sprung a spur of the moment article to write into tomorrow's edition and she had just spent all day working on it. She couldn't wait to go home if she was being honest.

First, she checked her phone. There was a couple of texts from her mom, one from Lane, and a missed call from Jess. Rory smiled to herself. They'd talked on the phone every morning and night since getting back together. She missed him and really wanted to see him. She also wished he was closer than Stars Hollow or that she was.

Rory drove home and as soon as she got there, grabbed her phone. She texted her mom back and Lane too, even sent Paris a message. Then she dialed Jess' number, promising herself she would call her mom after. He didn't answer on the first few rings so she waited and then finally it led to an automated message about the person not being there. She figured he'd have a non-personal voicemail.

Hanging up the phone, she went and checked the fridge for something to eat. There was some leftover Chinese in there and Rory took it out, sniffing to make sure it was still good. It seemed some things she learned from her mother had stuck over the years. Taking out a soda to have with it, she dug into the food. It still tasted delicious.

The sound of her phone ringing caused her to jump out of her seat and check who was calling. Her heart lurched at the number and name appearing on the screen. "Jess?"

"Hey," he said. "Seems like we keep missing each other, huh?"

"We're not now," she smiled. "How are you?"

"Okay," he answered nonchalantly. "Better now."

She nodded. "Me, too."

"I've been having a hard time concentrating today," he admitted.

"Really?" She pouted. Rory couldn't imagine Jess not focusing on his writing. "How come?"

"Keep thinking about you," he explained. "Probably more than I should."

"I know how you feel," she sat on the couch and curled her legs under her. The last of her food was forgotten. "Work was so busy but all I wanted was to talk to you."

"I tried to," he said. "One of our misses today."

"I wish I didn't miss you," she said.

"Ouch," he teased. "You don't want to miss me?"

"Shut up," she laughed. "You know what kind of miss I mean."

"I do," he agreed. "And I did. Miss you that way."

"I did, too," her face heat up. "When can we see each other again?"

"Uh..." He stopped them continued. "I'm not sure."

Rory pouted. "I guess I can try to get a few days off work to come visit."

"Nah," Jess said. "We'll work something out."

"Okay," she whispered. "Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"I really wish I could kiss you right now," she told him.

He cleared his throat. "I wish that, too."

"Soon," she answered. "Really soon."

"Good," she could almost hear his smirk. "So how busy was busy? Work was okay?"

"It was good," she nodded. "But I like heads up before big articles, you know? I'm not a light, you can't turn me on and off."

He laughed low on the other end and she made a face, asking him what. "Just what you said."

"What?" She wondered out loud then caught her own words as they repeated in her head. "Oh."

"Exactly," he agreed. "But you know, maybe it is possible to turn you on and off."

"Or maybe you could shut up," she warned with a smile.

She pictured him surrendering with his hands up if they had been in the same room having this conversation. "Okay. I guess I'll just hang up then and go back to helping Lane."

"Don't you dare," she threatened. "Wait, Lane? My Lane?"

"I believe she's Zach's Lane," he pointed out. "Unless there's something you would like to share...?"

She smiled, turning red again. "You are on very thin ice tonight, mister."

"And you're not here to warm me back up," he pouted.

Now her face turned beet red. Rory loved how easy it was to get back to normal with Jess, it felt so right and as if no time had passed. "Maybe soon."

"I'm gonna hold you to that," he said and she got shivers remembering when she had called him after Friday night dinner the week of the bid-a-basket lunch.

They talked for another half hour, making plans for when they see each other and hoping a space opened up in their schedules to make it possible.

...

The next morning, Rory groaned loudly as her alarm blared. She reached out to shut it off and covered her eyes. She hadn't slept well and wasn't entirely ready to wake up. Climbing out of bed seemed like a task she'd rather forget.

Sitting up, she let out a cough then a sneeze. Her eyes widened and she groaned a second time. "Please do not tell me I'm getting sick."

Rory's mind raced through everyone she had contact with and everything she did the previous day. She gasped when she remembered an intern named Stan who sniffled as he handed her papers yesterday.

"Oh, no," her hands came in contact with her head, holding it in place. After more sneezing and coughing, Rory got out of bed and called in to her boss. He was very understanding, apparently Stan had come in today worse than yesterday and he had yelled at him to go home. Her boss had told her he'd send her emails of anything he needs and to email anything back. Rory was grateful to him for letting her stay at home.

She went to her cabinets and made coffee but once it was done, it had no taste. Rory made a face as she downed it and put on tea instead. Maybe she should have done that in the first place. There was no medicine to be found in any of her cabinets but Rory didn't want to go out shopping for any, either. Instead she drank her tea and ate some crackers she was surprised she even had.

Her phone rang loudly and she reached over to see who it was. Her mother was calling her this early? She was curious so she answered. "Mom? Is the world over?"

Lorelai laughed on the other end. "Nah. My insane husband woke me up."

"No!" Rory gasped. "He knows not to do that."

"You'd think so right?" She laughed. "But no. He woke me up then went and opened the diner and now all I can think about is the wonderful coffee brewing downstairs and how I can't have any!"

"Oh, mom," she laughed. "Stay calm."

"I can't!" Lorelai cried. "I want the coffee!"

"You can't have it," her daughter told her. "You're going through withdrawal."

"Pregnant women can have coffee," Lorelai replied. "If I wanted to, I could down there right now and demand some."

"That may be," Rory agreed. "There is also the tiny problem where once you have one cup, you will want another."

"Drat," she groaned and Rory laughed, momentarily forgetting how sick she was getting. "Do you know the limit for pregnant women and coffee?"

"No, sorry," Rory laughed. "Might have to look that up."

"Damn," Lorelai said. "Looking something up included getting up, right?"

"Or using the phone in your hand," Rory suggested.

"Aha!" Lorelai yelled. "I knew this was helpful!"

She heard a groan in the background, one that sounded very un-Luke like but very much a guy. Soon she heard a younger boy's voice and knew Evan was awake. Rory laughed. "I think you woke everyone up."

"I'll just blame Luke," she replied. "He woke me up, first, after all."

Rory nodded. "Sure. Go with that."

Lorelai was about to say something but Rory sneezed once, twice, three times in a row and caused the conversation to move to a new direction. "Hun? You okay?"

"I'm fine," she sniffed.

"You don't sound fine," Lorelai pointed out. "Are you sick?"

"A little," Rory admitted. "Some guy at work was sick. I'm already home today. I called and am getting emails on what to do."

Lorelai was quick to respond. "You need emails on what to do when sick?"

"For work!" Rory laughed which led to a cough. "Besides, I know what to do when sick. I just don't have medicine...or soup."

"You don't have medicine or soup?" She asked. "Oh, kid."

"I know," Rory said. "I'll get some...later. When going outside sounds like a good idea."

"Well, okay," she said hesitantly. "Feel better, all right?"

"Thanks," she said. They exchanged a few more words then hung up. Rory again felt lonely looking around her apartment and noticed the food she left on the table. Walking back to it, she stuffed it back into the fridge and hoped it was still good.

...

"You're going back to the house today," Luke told Jess when he came downstairs.

"Fine," Jess agreed. He didn't feel like arguing so early.

"Fine?" Luke turnes to him in surprise. "I didn't expect you to cave so easily."

"Me, either," Jess said. "But I had a day off from everything yesterday so I guess I owe you one."

Luke stared at him. "Okay. Thanks."

Jess just nodded and started to walk away from the curtain but he turned back and said, "Can I have tonight off though?"

"For what?" Luke asked then gave up. "Know what? I don't wanna know. And sure, you can. You're not a kid anymore. Hell, you don't even really work for me. Take off what you need."

"Thank, Uncle Luke," Jess said with a small smile.

"And don't call me Uncle Luke!"

The small smile grew as he went to Lorelai's house to face the craziness over there that is Kirk.

...

After talking to Jen at the coffee shop, Jess couldn't stop thinking about his own family. Sure, he still had contact with Liz but suddenly he almost felt...guilty about Jimmy. After all, he had let him stay with him that summer and they'd barely talked since. Maybe it was meant to be like that but he was willing to try.

He dialed the phone number he'd only called a few times. Keeping contact with Lily was not the same as keeping contact with Jimmy. She'd been the one to give him updates on his father, whether or not he asked for them, and often told him of her mother.

No one answered the call. There was some message about reaching Jimmy and Sasha and all their strays but not much else. Jess hung up the phone as fast as he had dialed. What the hell was he thinking? It goes both ways. If Jimmy wanted to talk to him, he could. Maybe Lily was the only one who cared after that summer. He wasn't even sad or disappointed. Not even surprised - he was just numb.

Instead of dwelling on how his dad doesn't give a shit about him, or how if he did he didn't act like it, Jess called the one family member he always could rely on. "Hello?"

"Hey, Luke."

 **A/N: I hope you liked this! More lit in person is coming! Also I was thinking of doing less flashbacks, I'm not stopping them alltogether but maybe not every chapter or just one if there is. I was thinking the story might be more interesting from this point as mostly present day with a few flashbacks in-between. I don't know if I'll actually keep up with it, I didn't even get to all my flashback ideas yet, but I wanted to give you guys a heads up because you've all been amazing and I wanted to share that thought with you.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: So for this chapter, I'm attempting to do without flashbacks. I'll see how it works out and if I like it ;) And no, to the review that i don't know if I'll keep with it, I meant keep with not doing flashbacks. Don't worry, I'm still crazy devoted to writing this fic and if that ever changes, you all will be the first to know :) If anything, I'd wrap it up as best as I could instead of leaving it unfinished but I don't think that's going to happen because I'm still very invested in finishing this one :)**

A loud knocking rapped on Rory's door and woke her up. It was past midnight she realized as she looked to the clock. Hesitantly, she stood up from her bed and walked to the door. "Who the hell is coming here at this time?"

When she opened the door, however, all annoyed feelings disappeared. Warm brown eyes looked into hers and Rory felt herself smile. "Hey."

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a low voice.

Jess shrugged. "Heard you were sick."

Her smile widened as she noticed the bag in his hand. "What's that?"

"Soup and medicine," he answered. "Heard you didn't have any of those, either."

"Jess," she said. She wasn't even mad anymore that her sleep was interrupted. She wasn't even tired anymore.

He smirked at her slightly, a smile ready to tug it away. "Surprised?"

"Very," she said.

"Good surprise?" He asked.

"The best," she nodded.

"Does that mean I can come inside then?" He asked. The smile had officially taken over the smirk.

"Of course," she moved aside to let him in and felt a rush of electricity when his hand touched hers as he entered.

Jess nodded and looked around when he walked in, putting the bag on the kitchen table. "So this is Rory Gilmore's home."

She shut the door and followed him inside. "Only for the past few months. Living here is still fairly new."

"Its nice." He inspected her living room bookshelf.

Rory picked up the bag he brought and pulled out the soup. "I have some in the bedroom, too."

"Are you inviting me in your bedroom?" He teased.

She blushed and ducked her head. "Not the way you're suggesting, Mariano."

He pouted then stared into her eyes. "I'll take it."

Rory walked over to the couch with her soup and undid the top, sniffing it. "It smells so good."

"Luke made it," he told her and came to sit beside her. "I wasn't gonna tell him about coming here in case he told Lorelai. We both know she'd tell you so it wouldn't be much of a surprise."

"But you told him anyway," she mused. "Thank you."

"Its nothing," he shrugged.

"Its something," she ate some soup then continued. "You came all the way from Stars Hollow just to give me soup."

"And medicine," he pointed out. She gave him a look and he sighed. "You're welcome."

Jess watched Rory eat her soup in silence. She finished not too long after starting and when she moved to get up, he stood and took it from her. "Such a gentleman."

He shrugged again. "I figure I got to make up for last time, right?"

"You don't have to make up for anything," she shook her head. "We're starting fresh."

"I know," he washed her spoon for her and Rory smiled at him. "But I like to think I've grown up. I want to be better."

"You are grown up," she agreed. "But you don't have to prove to me anything."

He turned to look at her, leaning against the counter. "I want to."

Rory stood up and walked over to him. "I'm just saying you don't have to. I already know what kind of man you are, Jess. I know we're both not those teenagers anymore. Hell, we're not even those 20-something year olds anymore."

"I want to be the kind of man you deserve," he told her in a whisper when she reached him.

"You already are." Rory wrapped her arms around his waist.

He shook his head. "Sometimes, when I'm with you, I feel just as I did back then. Like nothing that happened after happened and I'm gonna make the same mistakes."

She nodded, understanding. "I sometimes do, too."

His eyes stared into hers. They were so close now, their faces almost touching. Jess wasn't sure what to say, worried that he might say something stupid as he was sure saying his last remark was.

Rory spoke first. "But I think that's a good thing. Being together again, trying this out...its bound to be hard. Well, maybe not hard, but something like it. And I'd hope we don't make the same mistakes."

A smile played on her lips at her last comment. Jess' own mouth tugged at one. "Well, at least I can't not graduate high school twice."

"There's that positive thinking!" She laughed.

He laughed with her and the way their bodies moved while laughing leaned them closer. Jess turned his face towards hers, and she backed her face away. "What? Is something wrong?"

"I'm sick," she admitted.

He laughed again. "I kinda knew that."

She stayed serious. "I don't want to make you sick, too."

"Its a risk I'm willing to take," he told her.

Rory shook her head and unwrapped her arms from around him. He was faster though and his hand caught hers before she walked away. "Jess..."

He moved to stand right in front of her again, their hands still holding the other's. "I should get to choose if I get sick."

She moved her head away, a smile at the end of her lips. "I won't let you."

"I'll get you," he smirked. She kept moving her head away when he leaned towards her.

"Jess!" She laughed and tried to walk away from him but his hand still held hers and even though it wasn't very tight, she didn't want to let go. "This is one thing I'm not budging on."

"Oh yeah?" His eyebrows rose in question.

"I don't want you get my cold," she told him, joking aside.

"Rory, I don't care," he told her. "I drove here in the middle of the night to see you and right now, I really just want to kiss you."

His eyes darkened over her and Rory could clearly see the want in them. His voice had lowered into a husky tone and she felt her knees go weak. This time when he leaned in, she didn't move her face but let him. They kissed slowly at first, lips softly touching but soon she felt Jess' tongue sweep over her lower lip.

Her hands gripped the counter behind her as she backed into it. Jess' hands went to her waist and pulled her closer to him. The kiss deepened and before she really registered it, he pulled Rory up on the counter. Her legs wrapped around his waist, hands curling into his hair now. His hands moved up from her waist to her back.

She felt his tongue now come into her own mouth and she moaned. The fast that it was a small moan didn't seem to matter, his body stiffened and she smiled against his mouth. He just pulled her closer to his body so they were chest to chest. Rory felt his fast-paced heartbeat against her pajamas.

She pulled away first and saw the lust clouding his eyes. "Whoa."

He smirked. "Definitely worth the drive."

Rory blushed and ducked her head. Her hands unraveled from their previous position while his stayed on her back. "If that doesn't get you sick, then I think you're immune."

"I don't care what I am as long as that happens again," he whispered in her ear.

She shivered from his breath, trying to move her legs around. She was extremely turned on right now and when he whispered in her ear, he didn't help lessen it. "I should..."

Jess watched her try to scoot down from the counter and grabbed her again, placing her feet back on the ground. "Better?"

Not exactly, she thought. The fact that her panties were soaked and all she wanted was for him to feel how wet was all that running through her mind. But she couldn't tell him that, not this soon. Rory plastered a smile on her face and nodded. "Much."

Jess looked at the clock and sighed. "Shit."

Her eyes followed his. "What?"

"Its really late now," he said. "I should get going."

"What?" She asked again. "You're leaving?"

"I have to get back," he explained and finally took his hands off her back.

"Not yet," she said. "You just said its late. So stay."

"Stay?"

"Stay."

A teasing look appeared on his face. "You want me spend the night? Wow, that kiss was even better than I thought then."

She blushed again, thinking how true that statement is. "Just to sleep. I don't want you driving back to Stars Hollow at one am."

Jess' eyes search her face and when he finds whatever he's looking for, he answered. "Okay."

She just nods and walks to a closet. Jess watches her pull out a blanket and pillow. Soon she comes back and hands it to him. "Do you want the bed or the couch?"

"The bed," he answered. "If you're there."

"Be serious!" She laughed. "You got your kiss, you're not sleeping next to the sick girl, too."

"Couch is fine," he shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me."

"Okay," she said.

Jess took the items from her and set them up on the couch. Rory watched him just as he had watched her get them. She found herself liking seeing him in her apartment, liking how he washed her spoon from the soup and just how right it felt. Quickly, she pushed those thoughts aside, shaking her head.

"Got it all right?" She asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. Should be fine."

"Okay," she smiled softly. "I'm just gonna grab the medicine you brought and go to sleep, if that okay?"

"Okay," he repeated her word, smile tugging on his mouth as well. "Night then?"

Rory walked closer to him and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, far different from the previous one. "Night."

The smile broke out on his face now and she started walking away to her bedroom. Jess was laid down on the couch when she called his name again. He turned to look at her.

"What took you so long to get here anyway?" She asked.

He made a face. "Waiting for Luke to make the soup and lots of traffic. Do you know how many people are on the road at eleven o'clock at night?"

Rory laughed. "I do, actually."

"Its insane," he commented.

She nodded at him and disappeared behind a door. Jess stared at it until she walked out and entered her bedroom. Oh yeah, he wasn't getting enough sleep tonight.

...

When Rory woke up in the morning, she almost forgot she had company. But after brushing her teeth and walking out of the bathroom, she spotted the couch. The blanket and pillow were folded on top of the cushions and the smell of coffee lifted through the air.

Jess appeared from behind the refrigerator door and smiled at her as she approached. "Morning."

"Morning," she looked around the kitchen. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making you breakfast," he explained. "Do you have pancake batter?"

"Um, its right in there," she pointed to a cabinet and he nodded, opening it and grabbing the box out.

Reaching the kitchen, she saw the coffee pot was full and brewing had finished. Jess watched her, a smirk on his face. "Is the inspection over?"

"Not inspection," she said. "I'm just...not used to someone cooking breakfast for me."

He nodded, a question on his tongue he rather not ask. "And?"

"I like it," she turned to him with a smile. "I like you."

"Well that's good," he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Because I like you, too."

It was her turn to lean up and kiss him. Jess turned his face away this time just as she had last night. Rory eyed him suspiciously. "Don't tell me morning breath because I brushed my teeth."

He smirked down at her. "I was actually going to ask if you were still sick."

"Oh." She turned red. "I don't think so. I took the medicine and I slept pretty well...after."

He nodded. "So, you're better?"

"I haven't coughed or sneezed," she answered proudly.

"That's good," he laughed and she laughed with him.

Rory leaned again, this time actually reaching Jess' lips. They were soft and moved right with hers. She tried not to deepen it but they were doomed as soon as their lips touched. The kiss quickly progressed close to the previous night's kiss and neither seemed to mind.

Sighly contently, Rory moved away first and leaned her forehead to his. She didn't open her eyes yet but instead let the moment last. She felt happy, really truly happy. She hadn't felt this way in a long time, she thought to herself. Jess' voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Now it really is a good morning."

"I'll agree when I have those pancakes," she teased.

They let go of each other and he went to work on her breakfast. She bit her lip to hide her laughter when she heard Jess mutter, "Gilmores."

...

After breakfast, Rory went to take a shower which left Jess wandering her apartment. He searched her bookshelf again, laughing quietly when he saw Hemingway next to Rand. Now that was a surprise. The sight of his own books beside Ernest's work stopped him short. She put him next to Hemingway?

It shocked him to see she had kept track of his work through the years. All three of them were lined together in order of release. Jess wasn't really sure what he thought of it. On one hand, he wanted to scream out loudly that she had thought of him over the years, thought of him enough to purchase all of his books. On the other hand, she thought of him all that time yet didn't reach out unless she had to.

What did that mean? Or was he reading too much into this? Jess shook his head, trying to chase the cobwebs away. He was being stupid. What does matter and mean something was what was happening between them now. The rest was the past and he really needed to stop thinking about it and just enjoy what they have going now.

Rory came out of the bathroom all dressed and ready for work. "How do I look?"

"Gorgeous," he answered as he took in her outfit. It was simple yet professional. A maroon button-up top with a matching skirt. "Sexy."

Rory blushed and he smiled, vowing to keep making her do that. "I mean, do I look like I slept the whole yesterday away because I had a cold?"

"Nah," he shook his head. Jess put his arms around her and she put hers around his neck. "You look perfect."

"You sure?" She asked, he nodded. "Okay."

Jess kissed her quick on the lips. "You know you always look perfect."

Another blush erupted and he realized how much he loved the color red and how much her face matched her outfit. "Thanks."

He kissed her again in response. "What time do you have to be in?"

Rory looked at the clock. "Soon, actually. I have to go now."

"Kay," he murmered and kissed her again.

"If you keep kissing me, I'll never leave," she teased.

He smiled. "That's okay with me."

She laughed and untangled herself from him. Jess let her go as she grabbed a bag that looked big enough to fit her own computer. Before opening the door but with her hand on the doorknob, Rory turned to face Jess. "I really like having you here."

"I like being here," he replied.

They shared a silent exchange with their eyes and she was gone. Jess sat back down on the couch and wondered if Luke would understand if he didn't return until tonight.

...

On her lunch break, Rory resisted calling Jess and checking if he was still in her apartment and called her mom. Lorelai was more than happy to hear from her daughter. "So he just came in the middle of the night?"

"Yep," Rory beamed. "It felt like something out of a movie or a tv show. It didn't feel real."

"How come?" Her mother asked. "Did you not like the surprise?"

"I loved the surprise," she answered. "It was incredibly sweet and romantic."

"Then what is it, sweets?" Lorelai asked. "If you loved it -"

"Are we moving too fast?" Rory interrupted, her thoughts that plagued her since waking up finally voicing themselves. "It shouldn't feel like this, already right?"

"You two have been in and out of each others lives for the past fourteen years," she replied. "Wow. I feel old."

"Mom," Rory laughed. "Tell me what you were going to say, please."

"I think...that you are going too slow," Lorelai admitted.

"Excuse me?" Rory joked. "Did I just hear you say me and Jess are moving too slow? Maybe I wasn't the only one who was sick."

Lorelai was probably makinf a face on the other hand before replying. "Don't make me say it again."

Rory nodded. "Explain, then."

"You two were infatuated since the night you met," Lorelai started. "This is a turtle pace, babe."

"Hmm," she mused. "Maybe you're right."

"Of course I am," she said. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

Rory laughed. "Right. How could I forget?"

"So he stayed over all night?" She asked, her tone was teasing and she could almost see the eyebrow raise.

"Nothing happened," Rory felt heat tempt to rise to her cheeks. "He brought me supplies."

"Dirty!" Lorelai gasped.

"Healing supplies," she defended.

"Still sounds dirty," Lorelai added.

Rory shook her head, fighting off the blush as she remembered the way he kissed her, the cold countertop underneath her, his hands on her back. "There may have been kissing."

"Aha!" Lorelai gasped. "I knew it!"

"It wasn't as dirty as you're thinking," she lied. She still remembered how hard it was to fall asleep while thinking of how he was just outside the door.

"Fine," Lorelai whined. "It was innocence that would put Snow White to shame."

"Thank you," Rory laughed, grateful for their usual conversation to take its place.

...

"So you're not coming back until tonight?" Luke questioned.

"If that's okay," Jess subtly asked.

"Its okay," Luke agreed. "Its not like I expected you to go there for a night and come back immediately."

"Thanks, Uncle Luke," he smirked. The nickname always got on Luke's nerves since he was seventeen years old. He could imagine the glare.

"So how is she?" Luke asked his nephew. "She still sick?"

"She says she feels better," Jess answered. "She seemed it, too."

"Good," Luke said. "Maybe it was a bug."

"Maybe," he nodded. "She liked the soup, by the way."

"She did?" Luke was surprised. "I'm glad. It's hard to get either of them to eat stuff like that."

"I think she was really feeling sick," Jess joked.

Luke made a sound that sounded like a laugh then went back to the first topic. "So when will you be back?"

"Dunno," he shrugged. Hints of his teenage self were breaking out again and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. "I figure I'll ask Rory if she wants to get dinner then we'll figure it out."

"Okay," Luke said. "You know, the whole town is talking about you two."

"Still?" He groaned. "Man, they don't quit."

"They're wondering if you left to go on a romantic getaway," Luke adds.

Jess groaned again. "Jeez."

"Oh, it gets better," his uncle replied. "Babette thinks you're eloping. That all the years apart made you two realize how much you're destined to be together and that you want to be married."

"Wow," he said. "They make it so much more than a guy brings his sick girlfriend soup, don't they?"

"It's Stars Hollow," Luke excused. "Its what they do."

"Well said," he agreed.

Luke added more to his thoughts though. "Well, they've been obsessed with you two again since you came back. I'm sure spying a nighttime make-out didn't help."

"Please," Jess scoffed. "We were not making out."

"That's not how it was described at the town meeting," Luke agrued while holding in laughter.

"Jeez," he repeated. "I should have expected this."

Luke agreed. "Probably."

Jess rolled his eyes. "Not even Lorelai's pregnancy announcement took center of gossip."

"Because they know we're together," Luke said. "They're wondering about you two because you haven't been."

"Because that's the only reason," Jess replied.

Luke just laughed. "Gosh, I can't wait for you to come back."

Jess groaned once again.

...

Rory walked into her apartment and smiled. Jess was on the couch reading a book and it was a really nice sight to see. "I'm home."

He looked behind him and smiled back. "Welcome back."

Jess walked over to her and kissed her quick. "Well, this is very welcoming."

"If you think that's a nice welcome..." He suggested.

Rory slapped him playfully on the chest. "Shush."

He put his hands up in surrender. "Fine. How was work?"

"Good," she nodded and out her coat up. "Wasn't as behind as I expected since I got emails yesterday."

"That's great," he told her. "I know you don't want to be behind on work."

She smiled at him as he walked back towards the couch. Jess turned around and noticed her staring. "Sorry. I was just..."

"Staring?" He asked with a smirk.

"Liking having you here when I come home," she answered, choosing not to comment on the smug look on his face.

"Its nice to wait around for you," he admitted. "I wasn't sure if I was supposed to stay."

"You could do whichever," she told him and finally followed him towards her couch. They sat down beside each other. "But I am glad you stayed."

"Me, too," he agreed.

He kissed her lightly, lips barely brushing but still enough to ignite sparks. "We're gonna be okay, right? We're not diving into something that's gonna end up a total mess?"

"We're gonna be fine," he told her.

"Promise?" She asked.

"Promise," he repeated.

Rory leaned her head on his shoulder and Jess put his arm around her. He kissed her hair and she smiled, perfectly content with the way things were at that exact moment. After a few seconds of sitting there together, Jess spoke again.

"Dinner now?"

"Oh, god, yes."

 **A/N: so what did you think of a chapter without flashbacks? I kinda like it but like I said, it won't be gone for good and there will still be flashbacks just not as frequent and I really love writing present day now that lit is together. But I want your opinions too so leave a review and let me know what you think :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I'm flying high on the news of Netflix giving us a limited time revival of Gilmore Girls. I've never been more excited for something! So this chapter is coming sooner than planned because there is a possibility of not only seeing Literati together again but actually together as endgame. I really really hope this happens!**

 **This chapter also bumps a few weeks forward so I hope you don't mind :)**

"Rory?"

"Yeah?"

Jess leaned against the counter, the cold against his back and his palms flat down over the edge. Theyd just finished dinner and he had washed her dishes. She smiled when he even suggested doing it for her. Rory watched him curiously, waiting for whatever he wanted to say. "I've been thinking a lot about what you told me..."

She looked down at her hands. "About...the baby?"

"Yeah," he looked down now then back up at her. "About the baby."

Rory nodded and tried to keep his eye contact. "What about it?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted. She watched him as he tried to piece together his thoughts. "I just...I hate you had to go through that."

"Me, too," she agreed in a whisper.

"I'm sorry," he apologized and closed his eyes. "Its shitty of me to even bring this up."

"No," Rory stood up and started walking towards Jess. "You should be able to mention stuff like that."

"I just..." He shrugged, unable to find the right words. "I can't stop thinking about it."

"You can ask me about it," she told him once she was standing in front of him. She pulled his hands off the counter and held them in hers.

"I'm not really sure where to start," he said. "I don't want to upset you either. Especially after a great night."

"Jess, I don't want you go crazy thinking about it," she replied. "I didn't tell you so you would quietly sulk and wonder about it."

"I'm not sulking," he sighed. Rory gave him a reassuring smile. "And its not driving me crazy."

"Then what?" She asked. "Tell me."

Jess sighed again and looked anywhere but her face. "How far along were you?"

"Uh, one and a half," Rory answered. "It was close to two."

"So you found out pretty early," he said, she nodded.

"I was late and I was never late," she told him. "I thought something was wrong so I went to see my doctor. He did some tests and called me with the results. That night when I saw you at the inn, I knew I was pregnant."

"No wonder you and...the two of you were acting different," he added. She looked at him confused so he explained. "I saw you after you walked away. It looked serious."

"He was annoyed at seeing you," she smiled and he did in return. Jess always found it amusing when Logan was annoyed at him. "I was calming him down and reminding him of our news."

"And you never told your mom?" He asked. "How come?"

"We were going to," she admitted. "Logan didn't want to tell people until I was further along but I really wanted mom know."

He whispered. "What changes your mind?"

"The night we decided on telling her was the night I..." She trailed off.

"Oh," he said quietly.

She answered in the same volume. "Yeah."

They were both silent for a little bit, hands still holding each other but eyes not meeting. Jess cleared his throat and broke the silence. "What happened...after?"

"After?" Rory asked. "I shut down. Logan and I didn't talk much anymore unless it was to fight. Usually it was about not wanting him to drink and then about when he did. I didn't really want to talk to anyone or see them. But I still had work and I didn't want my mom ask questions so I would go out, pretend I was happy and..."

He watched her carefully now. His eyes were on her face but hers were on their intertwined fingers. "And...?"

She took a deep breath. "I'd cry a lot. Sometimes I got really angry and threw things against the wall when Logan wasn't home. I ate less. I talked less. I just... shut down."

Jess grabbed her in his arms and brought her to him. She sobbed into his chest and wrapped her own arms around him. Rory's hands came all the way to his shoulders in attempt to pull him closer. She wasn't sure how long she cried but she didn't even really care and neither did he. It was something she needed to get out.

When she stopped, Rory wiped her eyes, pulled away and laughed without humor. "That's the second I've cried on you and we've only been back together a week. This must be a record."

"You can cry anytime you need," he told her seriously. "I'm here."

"Really?" Her one word held so much more meaning than it meant to.

He nodded into her hair as he pulled her back to him. "Really."

After they sat back down on the couch and watched a movie. Jess didn't really played much attention because he was watching Rory, extra careful of her expressions and reactions. He hated that he brought anything up and had made her cry.

She fell asleep on his shoulder during the movie and he didn't have it in him to wake her when it was over. Jess carried her to her bed and tucked her in. With one last sweep of her hair behind her ears, he walked out of the room and dialed his phone.

"Yeah?"

Luke's voice always brought him back to being a teenager in Stars Hollow. He smiled slightly and shuffled his feet. "Hey, Uncle Luke."

"Let me guess," Luke suggested. "You're not coming tonight."

"I don't think so," Jess admitted but didn't tell him the whole reason why. "Rory fell asleep while we were watching a movie. I don't want to just leave and I don't want to wake her, either."

"Okay," his uncle said. "Come when you can."

"Tomorrow morning," he replied. "I promise."

Luke was probably shrugging while Lorelai looked at him wondering what was happening. "Take your time. Tell Rory I said hi."

"Will do," Jess said and soon they both hung up. He sighed and grabbed the items Rory had given him the previous night. She hadn't put them away so he didn't need to look for any. One more look towards her room and he got ready for sleep.

...

In the morning, Rory didn't remember much. She stretched her arms above her head and looked around her room. Not remembering going into her room, she stood up and looked around. Her clothes were the same as the ones she had eaten dinner in and suddenly she remembered the previous night.

Walling out of her room, she opened the door slowly and peered out. Jess was asleep on the couch unlike the previous morning. He looked so peaceful. She hated that she kept breaking down in front of him. All that time that she grieved, she tried to be strong but something about Jess had made Rory feel more open to getting those feelings out.

Rory grabbed what she needed for a shower and tiptoed to the bathroom. One look in the mirror showed what a mess she looked like so she covered it with a spare towel, afraid of the face on the other side. Her shower didn't leave her as refreshed as she had hoped it would but when she walked out of the bathroom, she saw Jess was still sleeping and smiled.

Still tiptoeing, Rory walked over to the couch and sat in front of it. His snores were very light, not at all the way her mom had made them sound all those years ago. He never looked more relaxed, she thought. Shaking her head out of her thoughts and realizing she should probably wake him up, Rory shook Jess' shoulder. He flinched then opened his eyes as he sat upright facing her.

His surprise at seeing her turned to a smile and it caused Rory to smile back. "Hey."

"Morning," she told him. "So you stayed."

"Didn't feel right to leave when I couldn't say goodbye," he sat up and their legs were touching they were so close.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," she said. "I guess I was more tired than I thought."

Jess shook his head. "You don't have to apologize for that. Did you sleep okay?"

"More than okay," she said proudly. "Really really good actually."

"I'm glad," he gave her a small smile which faded as soon as his next words came out. "We don't have to talk about...that, you know."

Her face was confused then came into understanding. "I should be able to. I want to be able to."

Jess held her hand. "Then we will when you're ready. I don't want to force you to talk about it."

Rory sadly smiled. "I might never be ready."

"That's okay, too," he shrugged.

She nodded. "I do want to tell my mom. I'm just..."

"What?" He asked.

Rory sighed. "Afraid. Afraid of how I'll react. Afraid of how she'd react. Afraid I waited too long. Just...afraid."

"Pretend I'm there supporting you when you do," he suggested.

She squeezed the hand that was holding hers. "I just might do that."

"I got a possibly weird question," Jess said, trying to help change the subject because of the expression on her face. Rory gave him a look and he continued. "Do you think I could use your shower?"

She laughed, the seriousness gone. "Yeah, sure. Go ahead."

"Thanks." He stood up from the couch and his hand still held hers.

"You're welcome." Rory stood up, too. "I have to get to work though."

He nodded. "I should probably go after. I promised Luke."

"Okay," she said. She didn't want him know how sad she felt at the mention of him leaving.

They held hands to the door and stood there. Jess looked down at their hands and smirked. "You know what's funny?"

"What?" She smiled in spite of herself. "What's so funny that Jess Mariano can see the humor?"

His smirk grew. "That Rory Gilmore is leaving for work without any coffee."

"Ha!" She laughed. "I was going to pick some up. Thought it was better than making a pot since I was short on time."

"Damn," he muttered.

"I do know something else I can't leave without," she grinned.

"Yeah?" She nodded. "What's that?"

Rory leaned forward and kissed Jess softly on the lips. It was intended to be soft and quick but it soon turned into each of them melting to each other and hands wrapped the other. Neither could catch their breath as they pulled apart and she sighed, a smile growing already.

"If that's how we say goodbye," he said. "We should be apart more often."

"No more," she shook her head. "Not too long. We've been apart too long."

"I can agree to that," he whispered.

Rory laughed and pulled away. "I have to go to work."

"Go," he told her. "I'm gonna head back soon so I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," she smiled brightly.

Rory turned to the door to leave and before she could then the knob, she looked back at Jess. He stared back at her. "What?"

"Nothing," she shrugged. "I just really like having you here."

"Me, too."

With one last nod, she was out the door and Jess walked back inside the apartment to take the shower.

...

"So are you gonna tell him?" Lorelai asked, changing the subject.

Rory laughed into her phone. "Tell who what?"

"Jess," Lorelai said as if it was so obvious.

"Tell Jess what?" She asked. "And how did talking about Grandma inviting you over turn to me and Jess?"

"Because, one," Lorelai listed. "Grandma invited me and Luke. Which means you and Jess are invited."

"So I'm telling him you and Luke were invited to Grandma's?" She asked.

"Oh, kiddo," Lorelai laughed. "That's only part of it, my dear."

"Okay," she drew out the y. "Then what's the rest of it?"

"That you lo-veeeeeee him," she teased.

"Oh my god," Rory his her face in her hands.

"You lo-veeeeee him," Lorelai kept saying on the other end in a sing-song voice. "You want to be with him for-everrr."

"You done yet?" Rory asked with a laugh.

"Nah," Lorelai replied. "I think I'll get a few more in. Then I'll be done."

"I'm not telling him that," Rory said.

"Why not?" Lorelai gasped. "You do!"

"Because we only just got back together," she explained. Two weeks had now passed since Jess visited her in New York City. They went back to their usual routine of when to talk but hadn't seen each other since. The not seeing him and being a semi-long-distance relationship was getting to her a little.

"So?" Lorelai prodded. "Like he hasn't been waiting forever to hear that!"

Rory shook her head, uncovering her face. "Because I want to be really sure."

She imagined her mother making a face on the other end. "You mean you're not?"

"I mean I want to definitely know I mean it before I blurt it out," she decided and winced at her own words.

"Uh...okay?" Lorelai said.

"You can call me crazy," Rory said. "I know you want to."

"It's like were telepathically linked!" Her mother exclaimed.

"I'm hanging up now," she told her.

"No!" Lorelai yelled. "Don't leave mommy yet!"

"I'm sure Evan will keep you company for now," she teased.

"Fine," she whined. "Leave me. Make mommy need her own four walls where she stares all day about the daughter who hung up on their phone call."

Rory pretended to think than answered. "Well, I guess I could spare a couple more minutes."

"Success!" Lorelai yelled.

"You have to explain something to me, though," Rory told her.

"Of course," Lorelai said. "See, the way it goes on the banana..."

"Not that!" Rory grimaced. "The dinner with Grandma. What did she say?"

"She wanted a celebration for the new baby," she told her daughter in all seriousness.

"That's nice," Rory said. "So that's why you want us to come?"

"That and..." She trailed off and rory understood.

"I know," she looked down.

"Its just so different being there," Lorelai said in a sad voice. "Mom doesn't even act like she used to."

Rory nodded, repeating herself. "I know."

"I guess, you know, it could be nice," Lorelai suggested. "It could be, right?"

"Yeah," Rory agreed. "I think it will be."

"So Jess went back to Philadelphia?" Lorelai asked after a quiet moment and changed the subject.

"Yeah," Rory answered. "He said something about Matt and a book he's editing."

"That's nice," Lorelai said. "I think he was tired of being here, anyway."

Rory shook her head. "He likes it...to an extent."

Lorelai laughed. "Yeah. When you're here."

"He does not only like it when I'm there," she argued. "What about all the times he came between now and I don't know, five years ago?"

"You," she simply said.

"What?" Rory gasped. "No."

"Please, he always liked the town more with you around," her mother snorted.

Rory opened her mouth then shut it. Did she mean - _even when she was married to Logan?_ She didn't comment on where her thoughts went. To analyze that time might bring heartbreak and she wasn't sure she wanted to think of how much she hurt Jess all these years.

"Hon?" Lorelai asked when she got no reply. "You still there?"

"I'm here," she commented. "I thought the two of you get along now, though. You mean you haven't set him straight about the Stars Hollow ways?"

Lorelai snorted again, which made Rory laugh. "If you couldn't do it, no one can."

She laughed sadly and her thoughts went back to wondering how he felt ever since Philadelphia. She changed the subject back to the dinner with her Grandma to keep her mind from wandering.

...

"This part is..." Jess sighed, looking at Garrett. He was his friend, sort of, but he was also one of his authors. He had to tell him if he didn't like something in the rough draft. "Not good."

Garrett's face fell. "What was wrong with it?"

"Nothing was wrong, exactly," Jess winced. "It just was different from the before."

"Different how?" He asked.

Jess rocked on his heels. "It was...out of character. I mean, the guy dealt with this shitty life, his parents left him at an orphanage."

"Yeah?" Garrett nodded.

"You wrote the parents in," Jess explained. "Its not realistic for the guy to be glad to see them."

"But he wants to know who they are," Garrett defended.

"Maybe he does," Jess agreed. "But the whole buildup is he's better without them. So why does he suddenly need them?"

"Because he wants to know about these people," Garrett tried wording it differently. "Because he wants to know why having him wasn't enough and why they didn't want him."

Jess took a deep breath, remembering when he felt exactly that. Maybe he was taking this story too personal, maybe he was the wrong person to ask about it.

Matt walked to Jess and whispered in his ear. "Rory's calling."

Jess nodded and tried to stop the smile that wanted to appear. He wasn't able to lose his street cried by smiling. "Give me a few minutes, okay?"

Garrett nodded. "All right."

Matt stood by Garrett as Jess walked away and to the main Truncheon phone line. He grabbed the cordless phone and walked up the stairs to his old room. "Rory?"

"Hey," he heard her voice on the other end.

Jess shut the door behind him and sat on the bed. "Hey. How's work?"

"Good, I'm actually working on something right now," she told him.

He smirked. "So you're playing hokey kind of?"

"Kind of," she laughed. "Mostly, I just missed you."

"I missed you, too," he admitted. "And you kind of saved me."

"I did?" She laughed again. "From what?"

"This guy's book I'm editing is hitting a little close to home," he said. "I think I'm taking out anger over how I grew up on him."

"Oh, my god," she said. "I'm so sorry."

"Nah," he shrugged. "Be more sorry for him. He has to deal with me. I guess maybe I should apologize."

"You could," she agreed. "Though I am jealous of him. He sees you more than I do."

"He's seen me for twenty minutes," Jess scoffed. "Hardly worthy."

"Still more," she pouted then brightly changed her tone. "But I have news!"

"What is it and why are you are so happy?" He asked suspiciously.

"Because one, its a way for us to you know, be in the same state," she replied.

He was definitely interested in that. "I'm listening."

"You won't like the next part, though," she said.

"What is it?" Jess asked even more suspiciously.

Rory blurted it out in a rush. My grandma invited my mom and Luke over because of the pregnancy and she wants to celebrate so mom suggested me and you come, too which of course Grandma didn't want me disincluded but now she knows about you and us."

Jess listened as she took a deep breath and took one of his own. "So you want me come to your Grandmother's?"

"Yes?" She asked it as a question instead of an answer.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. Emily Gilmore was still not entirely a fan of Jess. Actually, that was even an understatement. She hated him was probably more accurate. But losing her husband had made her more civil towards him even if she didn't want to be so he guessed civil was better than nothing. "Okay."

"Really?" She asked. Excitement was on the edge of her voice.

"Sure," he said. "Why not?"

"Thank you!" She was definitely excited now. "Really, Jess, you have no idea how important this is."

"I might have some idea," he said.

Rory laughed. "Its on Friday. So be here around 4? We'll drive down together."

"This Friday?" He asked. "But its Wednesday!"

"She said sooner is better than later," Rory explained. "Please remember you promised."

"I didn't promise anything," he disagreed.

"Please?" Jess imagined her sticking out her lip and pouting at him, widening those blue eyes he loved so much to work her magic on him. Damn, just thinking about it worked, he thought.

He groaned. "Fine. I'll be there."

"Yes!" She cheered. "I can't wait to tell Mom you're coming!"

"You're so gonna owe me, Gilmore," he warned.

"Owe, smowe," she pfft-ed. "Just be there at four and I'll be in your debt."

His eyebrows rose. "Debt, huh?"

"Mind out of the gutter," she scolded. "I'll see you Friday."

"That does sound really good," he mused.

"It does." He heard the smile in her voice and smiled back. A part of him almost slipped and said the words he hadn't said to her in eleven years. He quickly pushed that aside, not wanting to ruin what they have going.

They hung up and Jess opened the door from his old room only to find Matt standing there. "Have you been there this whole time?"

"Some," Matt shrugged. "Rory?"

Jess walked past him to the their old kitchen. Matt followed closely behind. "I told you we were back together."

"Really? When was that?" His friend asked.

Jess sighed. "Huh."

"What is that huh?" Matt asked.

"Maybe I didn't," he answered. "Maybe I didn't want to hear this."

"And what is this exactly?" He crossed his arms over his chest expectantly.

"You telling me what a bad idea this is," Jess half-yelled.

"You're damn right its a bad idea," Matt answered at the same volume. "Do you remember what that girl did to you?"

"I remember crystal clear," Jess clarified. "Trust me. I'm well aware of what happened."

Matt threw his hands up in frustration. "Then what are you doing? Why are you back together with the girl who destroyed you?!"

Jess was seeing red. His fists balled against his sides, fingers digging into his palm. He took breaths to calm down. "Look, I know you mean well -"

"Damn right I do," Matt interrupted.

Jess ignored that. "But it's my life, my choice. I appreciate you looking out for me, really. But she's important to me, always has been. I'm gonna see what happens here. See if we have a chance."

"Okay, fine," Matt put his hands up in surrender now. He backed out of the room and walked to the stairs. "But don't tell me when it doesn't work and she walks all over you again."

Jess clenched his jaw shut and didn't comment as Matt went downstairs. He was tempted to be old Jess, let his anger get the better of him. Instead he took really deep breaths and counted to fifty, hoping that would help before climbing down the stairs himself.

 **A/N: So no flashbacks again. But however they WILL be back. I'm just enjoying these moments for now so I hope you are as well. And their past, the nine years will definitely still make appearances and mentions. Just be patient and you guys rock :)**


	25. Chapter 25

"Lane?" Rory called as she opened the door to her friend's home. It was quiet but she had a key and Lane had told her to use it. The quiet was weird considering three children lived here.

Finally, Lane walked out of a bedroom and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Rory standing there. "You scared me."

"Sorry," she waved to her friend. "You said I could come in whenever -"

"Oh, I know," Lane nodded, laughing a little at her jump. "I guess I was just surprised."

Rory nodded, too. "Where's Zach? And the kids?"

"Zach took the boys out," she answered. "Christina, however, I just her got to sleep."

"I'll be quiet then," she said as Lane motioned towards the kitchen. Rory sat beside her on a stool and Lane grabbed snacks from the center of the counter.

"Spill," Lane directed as she opened her pringles.

Rory looked up from her own Pringles and gave her a confused look. "Spill what?"

"Oh, come on," Lane laughed. "You and Jess!"

"You know we're together again," she said, still confused.

Lane sighed, another laugh escaped. "Yes but I need details. More than we made out after the kids went to sleep or about talking every day."

"There's not much else," Rory slumped on her stool. "I barely see him besides when he came when I was sick.

Lane's eyes bugged. " I didn't hear of this."

Rory chewed slowly. "I thought I told you he came to New York."

Lane shook her head. "Nope. You didn't. So tell me everything."

She swallowed the chip and smiled. "I'm not sure how he found out I was sick but he did. Maybe my mom told him. But I woke up in the middle of the night to knocking and there he was. Smirking and smiling, holding soup and medicine. I thought I was dreaming."

"That sounds so romantic," she gushed and grabbed another chip.

"It was," Rory nodded. "I was so surprised and happy and there he was..."

"Oh my god," Lane gasped. "You slept with him!"

"What?" Rory asked.

"You slept with Jess!" Lane accused. "You two finally had sex and I'm only hearing of this now! I thought I was your best friend!"

"You are!" Rory defended. "And we didn't, I swear."

"Really?" Lane asked suspiciously.

She nodded. "Really."

Lane hit her on the arm and got an 'ow' in response. "Why not?"

"Excuse me?" Rory said as she rubbed her arm. Lane hit harder than she thought she would.

"Why haven't you slept with him?" Lane asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh," Rory opened her mouth then closes it again. "We've only been back together a few weeks."

Her friend rolled her eyes. "So? You know you want to. And more than that, you know how you feel about him and how he feels about you."

"Actually, I don't," Rory admitted. "I have no idea how Jess feels about me. We haven't exactly came out with the extent of feelings."

"Hmm," Lane mused.

Rory stared at her. "What does that mean?"

Lane put the lid back on her Pringles. "It means that he's loved you since he was seventeen years old. If you think you don't know he feels then you're crazy."

"Feelings change," Rory said. "Who knows if its love after all this time? I really hurt him before."

"Right," Lane nodded. "Philadelphia."

"Philadelphia," Rory repeated as if the word said all.

Lane cut in before her thoughts sent downhill. "There is something about that, though."

Rory closed her own lid and slid it besides Lane's closed Pringles. "What's there about it?"

"Its simple really," Lane shrugged. "If Jess didn't love you, he wouldn't have been so hurt by what happened in Philadelphia. And if he fell out of love with you over that but still wanted to be with you now after all this time...I don't know. I think he loves you."

Rory considered her friend's words for a moment before speaking again. "So you're saying that Jess..."

"Always has been and always will be in love with you," Lane finished for her.

Rory turned in her stool so she could lean against the counter. "Huh."

She remembered a night eleven years ago, at the Firelight Festival, dressed up after coming from a fancy dinner with her grandparents. She remembered standing on line and turning to her right and how Jess was just standing there.

She remembered running away from him and how Jess had followed her, no matter how crazy they looked. Her speech rushed out of her mouth, one she had been waiting to say if - when - she had ever seen him again. Rory honestly thought she never would again.

But then the three words tumbled out of Jess' mouth. Three words she never expected to hear from him of all people and her heart had stopped. Her feet rooted to their spot while she stood there. He walked away and she did nothing, just watched Jess drive away from her and out of her life again.

She remembered her mother coming up to her after, wondering about the food Rory had not gotten. Rory pointed out her new jewelry and Lorelai told her Luke gave it to her. She wondered when the two of them would own up to their feelings about each other. Then later when she crawled into her childhood bed, she had cried into her pillow, thinking of Jess and his confession and how she still wasn't over him.

"Rory?" Lane asked and snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Uh-huh?" She asked.

"You spaced out a little," she told her. "Was it something I said?"

"Yes and no," she replied honestly. Lane just nodded and waited. "I was thinking of when Jess told me he loved me."

"When he came back only to leave again," Lane recalled.

Rory nodded and looked down, the feelings she felt that night stuck in her mind. "You really think he never -"

"Without a doubt," she answered before Rory could say 'stopped'.

...

 _"Are you sure?" Lorelai asked Rory with a serious look on her face._

 _"Yes," Rory nodded. "I have to be."_

 _"If you're not sure..." Lorelai prompted._

 _Rory now shook her head. "I'm sure, Mom. Its not working."_

 _"Okay," her mother leaned back in her chair. "Only if your really sure."_

 _"It hasn't worked for a while," Rory sighed. "We tried. We tried hard."_

 _Lorelai understood trying and not making it work in the end. "I'm sorry, sweets. I know you wanted it to work."_

 _She nodded absentmindedly. Rory had never expected why their downfall happened. That was the biggest surprise of all - she never saw this kind of end coming._

 _Her mother decided to ask the silent question that'd been hiding in the air for days, weeks now. "What happened? You guys seemed good. The last time I saw you two together, it seemed good."_

 _"It was," she agreed, leaving out how her smiles had been fake and his was probably caused by alcohol. "But it just wasn't enough."_

 _"Being happy wasn't enough?"_

 _"Being together."_

 _Lorelai nodded. "What does that mean?"_

 _"It means..." She took a deep breath. "That being together, it wasn't enough anymore to just be the two of us. And we would fight and make-up and its not okay. It wasn't worth the pain."_

 _"Okay," Lorelai agreed, remembering her past relationships that didn't work out. They hadn't been enough for her, either, at least not the way Luke was enough. "I just want you to be sure, sweets."_

 _Rory looked over at her mother. Words were bubbling in her mind, wanting to come out. She had never told her mother anything remotely close to why her and Logan weren't working anymore. His drinking was a part of it but not the whole story. She wanted to tell her but when she thought about getting the words out, Rory couldn't breath._

 _After their big fight in early morning hours, when Rory had walked out and Logan left the note saying he would get help, she believed it would be better. Logan had stayed at a facility for a month, it wasn't enough for him, and he checked himself out. He didn't tell Rory he left earlier than planned and she thought maybe they could work on them. And it hadn't._

 _Before long, he was back to partying and drinking especially when Colin and Finn were in town. That had become more and more frequent lately and she tried to pretend it didn't bother her when she smelt the alcohol on his breath. It turned out her holding it in just made it worse and led to an even bigger blowout between the husband and wife._

 _Logan had once again brought up Jess, saying that he knew there was something still there. Rory denied it repeatedly and he just yelled and told her seeing them so friendly the same day they found out about the baby made his stomach churn. He had even again accused her of cheating on him and that the baby wasn't his at all but Jess'. She had slapped him and told him fuck you as the hot tears came down her cheeks._

 _Their words only got worse from there. Swears were thrown at each other, words Rory had never expected him to call her, words she had never expected to call him. More accusations crossed but it was never violent aside from Rory throwing a vase against the wall when Logan tried to get another beer. After hours of screaming and crying, Rory announced she was done. Logan thought she meant for the night and told her they can talk in the morning._

 _Rory stomped her foot and covered her face, only to reveal a red, puffy face when she pulled them away. He was mystified when she admitted she was done with him, done with their marriage and how she couldn't do this anymore. It had hurt too much and if they stayed together any longer, they for sure would hate each other._

 _Logan was silent as she grabbed a suitcase and packed some of her stuff. He watched her leave and she told him she would be back for the rest of it. He also promised he'd get out of her way when she picked them up, finally understanding just what she was saying. Rory touched his face and told him she was sorry._

 _When Rory looked at her mother now, she couldn't imagine telling her all of this. She had wanted to so badly but Lorelai didn't know what she went through, she didn't know how much her daughter had been hurting. Rory figured she could hurt on her own instead of making her mother cry as well. She promised herself she would do it later, it wouldn't stay a secret from her best friend forever._

 _"I'm sure," she half-smiled, trying to assure her mother. Lorelai handed her a pen and Rory signed her name on the divorce papers._

...

Jess pulled his car onto the street with Luke's diner in sight. He was hours early and couldn't wait to see his uncle, Evan and even Lorelai. A smile was brought to his face as he imagined seeing Rory again for the first time in two weeks. This distance was killing him already and they'd only just gotten back together. There was a spot right in front of the diner, where Luke had usually parked his truck before he started parking it at his now home with Lorelai.

Jess pulled his key out of the ignition and opened the door. He stuffed his hands in his pocket as he walked to the door and opened it, seeing a head of brown hair and smiling. Luke noticed him first and a smile grew on his face which caused Rory to turn around. The look on her own face was enough to stop his heart. Her smile was so big and her blue eyes lit up at the sight of him.

Rory was out of her seat quickly and ran up to Jess. He stood still in front of the door. If any customers had tried to get in, they wouldn't be able to get through. Her arms came around his neck as his went to her back. Jess held Rory to him and buried his face in her hair. She whispered to him, "I missed you."

"Missed you, too," he told her.

He noticed Luke came around the counter and was standing behind Rory. "You're early."

Jess' arms loosened around Rory and she turned to face Luke, too but their arms were still around each other in some way. "Thought I'd surprise you."

"Nice surprise," Luke commented.

Jess grinned and looked at Rory, who was smiling as well, her happiness to see him unable to hide. He finally noticed the other patrons in the diner and out of the corner of his eye, saw Miss Patty and Babette who were smiling and nodding. He could only guess what that was about.

"Where's Lorelai?" Jess found himself asking when Rory's mother or her son were nowhere in sight.

"She's at the inn," Luke answered. "We brought Evan to school a little while ago then she headed out."

"She'll be here later," Rory added.

Jess nodded. "Should I get myself set up upstairs?"

"Right, I forgot to tell you," Luke said in a louder voice than usual.

"Forgot to tell me what?" Jess asked.

Luke replied, "We're back at the house. If you want to stay there, too, that'd be okay. But I thought you might prefer the apartment anyway."

"Apartment's good with me," he shrugged. "I'm going to bring this up."

Rory let her arms fall from around him as did he and followed him out to his car. Jess opened the trunk and grabbed a duffel bag out. "Some things don't change, do they?"

"It's just easier," he shrugged again. "I'm not a big fan of suitcases."

She nodded. "I'm staying in my old room at Mom's. But if you want..."

He shook his head, smirking. "You don't have to do that."

"Why not?" She pouted. "I'd keep you company."

"I don't think that's a good idea," he told her and walked to her after closing the trunk, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Why not?" Rory asked again.

His voice turned low and husky and it made her shiver. "Because if I have you that close to me again, there's no telling what I might want to do."

She moved to the shiver, almost melting. "And what would be wrong with that?"

Jess let out a sound. It was something like a groan and she wanted to smile triumphantly. "Probably many many things."

She pouted which only made him laugh. "Fine. But if you change your mind..."

"You'll definitely be the first to know," he kissed her quickly.

They unwrapped themselves from each other and Jess grabbed his bags. He brought them to the apartment as Rory stayed downstairs to finish her coffee. The old apartment never failed to remind Jess of being a teenager. Here he was, thirty-one years old and still got taken back to the time when he was less than good.

His bags dropped beside his old bed and he sat down on it. It was only Friday morning and he was early. The conversation he had with Matt after the phone call with Rory was still replaying in his mind. Jess couldn't help but think how right his friend was. That thought made him want to slam his fist into a wall. He refused to believe Matt. It didn't matter they were friends. That was exactly why he headed out to Stars Hollow hours earlier than they expected him.

A soft knock on the door made Jess look up. Despite thinking of that conversation, he couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips when he saw Rory open the door. "Hey."

"Hey," he stood up off the bed and started walking closer to her. "I was just going to head back down."

She smiled. "Okay but before you do, I need to do something."

Jess gave her a confused look. He didn't understand what she meant until her arms went around his neck again and she leaned forward. The kiss started off sweet but it turned more urgent as soon as his hands found their way to Rory's lower back. They felt like fire scorching her and she couldn't get enough of the heat.

The two of them melted into each other, just standing there, kissing. Neither moved from their position in the room and neither actually wanted to. It felt perfect, just being there together. Jess' hands traveled lower and she giggled against his lips. Back in high school, his hands would always roam lower once they were on her back and just like then, she loved the feel of his hands on her. It made Rory imagine his hands on every part of her.

Jess smiled against her lips upon hearing the giggle. He remembered that sound well and his hands tightened on her in response. She pulled away this time, reluctantly. Rory wasn't sure if she could stop herself from canceling their part in her grandmother's dinner to stay here with Jess like this unless she did it right now. When her face moved away, his hands were still on her bottom and it made her want to laugh.

"A proper greeting," she explained.

Jess noticed she bit her lip in shyness and smirked at her. He thought it was both adorable and sexy at the same time. "Should definitely have more of those."

"We will," she promised. "But now we should go back down before Luke looks for us."

He scoffed. "We're not teenagers anymore. He can't come charging up to make sure we're dressed."

Rory flushed Scarlett and another smirk broke out on his face. "I'm sure he still doesn't want us be doing anything up here."

"It's not his place anymore," Jess disagreed, pulling her body closer to him. "We can do whatever we want now."

"That may be," she agreed. She was having a hard time keeping her heartbeat under control when he held her like this and said those things. "But still. We really should head down."

"Fine," he groaned and gave her a small peck. "Spoilsport."

Rory gasped in mock offense. "I'm hurt."

"You'll live," he teased and kissed her again.

She hit him on the shoulder, gaining a quiet 'ow' and smiled brightly as they went back downstairs to the diner.

Luke looked at them suspiciously when they came down but said nothing. Jess and Rory ate breakfast together at a table much to his objections. Rory had wanted it feel like a real breakfast date and he couldn't turn that down.

Her phone rang soon after finishing their food and Rory ran out after mouthing 'work' to Jess. He laughed because his uncle still had that ridiculous sign for no cell phones up in 2015. Cell phones were all people had nowadays. It seemed hilarious to him to try to fight it but he said nothing.

Luke came over to him at his table and sat. "So you and Rory..."

"Yes?" He asked.

"Its going good?" Luke asked. "The two of you?"

"Really good," he nodded.

"Good." Luke looked at a lost for words, unsure how to have a conversation about dating with Jess even after all this time. "It's great you came for tonight. I'm sure it means a lot to her."

"It's nothing," Jess shrugged.

"Its Emily Gilmore," Luke replied. "That's not nothing. And I know you two still don't get along so coming tonight, which is sure to be fun since she's going to hear how the two of you are back together..."

Shit, Jess hadnt thought of that. He sighed. "Rory wants me to do it. I'll take whatever happens."

Luke gave his nephew a small smile. "Wow. If I needed any more proof of how much you'd grown up, that would be it."

Jess scoffed. "Oh, shut up."

Luke just seemed to find that more amusing. He stood up to go back to work bit turned first to him. "I'm happy for the two of you. It always seemed like something was there."

"Could say the same to you, Uncle Luke," he smirked.

Luke ducked his head and went back to work without a comment back. Jess found that amusing now and looked out the window to see Rory hang up her phone and come back inside.

...

After breakfast, Rory asked Jess if he wanted to go down to the inn with her to see her mom. He politely told her he was gonna stay with Luke and help out. She accepted and kissed him goodbye but instead of staying at the diner, Jess walked down to the bridge. His phone rang not even five minutes after he got there.

"What?" He asked the person on the other line. Jess was prepared to feel guilty if it had been Rory but it turned out to be someone else.

"Hey, man," Chris said.

Jess sighed. He really hoped it wasn't about Matt. "Problem at work?"

"No," he told him. "I was calling because Matt came to me this morning to say you left town?"

"I did," he confirmed. "There's some dinner thing Rory wants me to go to tonight. I was coming anyway."

Chris was silent for a few seconds than he spoke. "So its true."

Jess closed his eyes and groaned. "Not you too."

"I didn't say anything," Chris defended.

"You didn't have to," Jess said once he opened his eyes. "Is this another she broke your heart, this is a mistake conversayion? Because if yes, Matt already covered that."

"Shit," he heard his friend whisper. "He said that?"

"Yeah so you're gonna have to excuse me if I don't want to have it again," Jess said sarcasticly.

"Shit," he repeated. "I'm not gonna say that."

Jess nodded, a bitter taste still on his tongue from when he said what Matt had. "Good to know."

"I guess I don't blame you for getting the hell out of dodge," Chris said. "What Matt said, he was out of line."

"It was," Jess agreed. "But for the record, people are probably saying the exact same thing to her about being with me again. I fucked up even more than she did."

"He still shouldn't have said it," his friend told him. "I get he's trying to be a friend and we saw what happened last time but he had no right to tell you its a mistake."

Jess stared out at the water and threw a rock at it. He liked the way it seemed to have its own path despite the fact that someone put it on it. "I keep thinking, 'what if it is?' You know?"

Chris sounded like he was shaking his head. "What? You can't be serious."

"Its not thinking I'm the one making a mistake," Jess explained. "I keep thinking she is and what the hell she even wants to do with me."

"Come on, man," Chris sighed. "You're letting what Matt said get to you."

"Its not just about that," he explained. "I fucked up so much. And no matter how much time passes or how much I think I changed, I feel like I'm still this stupid seventeen year old kid who doesn't treat her as good as I should have."

"What does she say?" Chris asked. When Jess didn't answer, he continued. "I mean, you did talk to her about this right?"

"No," he snapped. "Why does she need to know I think she deserves more but I can't let her go?"

Chris hmm-ed on the other end of the line. "Let me guess - you're being self-pitying because you don't think you deserve to be happy."

"That's not it," Jess answered.

"Right," Chris said sarcastically. "Because she's even given you any hint that she wants better than you?"

Jess didn't speak. His mind was far off to the night of the babysitting when Rory told him she had wanted him. Then it traveled to New York a week later when Jess had told her he wanted to be the man she deserves and Rory answered with three words that made him actually want to believe her - _you already are_.

"No," he finally answered. "She hasn't."

"Then shut up," Chris laughed. "You have a girlfriend. Not just any girlfriend either but an incredibly hot one who just happens to be the girl you always wanted. So suck it up."

Jess laughed, too at his friend's words. "You're right."

"Damn straight I am," Chris said.

Jess laughed again, feeling some of the wondering weight come off of his shoulders. Chris was right. He wasnt going to ruin a good thing - fuck, the best thing actually - just because he was stupid. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

...

Before anyone knew it, it was almost time to go down to Hartford. Lorelai had picked Evan up from school and Luke out Lane in charge of the diner. Jess stayed on the bridge for about another half hour before coming back. Rory wondered what was on his mind but resisted asking. She wasn't sure she wanted to know before dinner.

"You okay?" Rory asked Jess before they headed out. They had decided to take two cars - Luke and lorelai were taking Evan and Jess was driving Rory in his car.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm good."

She noticed something in his expression. "Nervous?"

"Is it that obvious?" He smirked.

She kissed his cheek, laughing. "Only a little."

Jess turned to her, putting a hand on her waist. "Does she know we're together again?"

Rory ducked her head and he knew the answer. He sighed and looked down too. "Its not that I don't want to."

"You don't have to explain anything to me," he told her.

"I want to," she gave him a smile. "We haven't talked as much in the past couple of years, to be honest. So the thought of telling her I'm with somebody great..."

"...makes you feel guilty," he finished for her. "I understand that."

She felt eternitly grateful that he understood what she meant. "Without grandpa...its different. She's different. I'm different, mom's different. We haven't kept Friday night dinners since then."

"That's understandable, too," he told her. "All of it."

She kissed Jess softly. "Thank you."

His eyes fluttered and it made her smile. "For what?"

Rory shrugged. "Just thank you."

"You're welcome," he said and kissed her again.

"Hey!" Lorelai yelled as the three of them walked out of the diner and spotted the two standing by Jess' car. "Quit making out and let's get a move on!"

"We weren't making out," Rory pouted.

"Fine, quit k-i-s-s-i-n-g," she sang the letters like the old song. "We got to go now or Mom will think we're standing her up."

"Yes, ma'am," Jess saluted.

Rory and Luke laughed as Lorelai made a face that was definitely not pleased. Evan walked joufully to the car, oblivious to his mother's reaction. "Don't call me ma'am."

Jess hid his laugh. "Got it."

The three got into Luke's truck and Rory laughed. "Unto the breach then?"

He kissed her again which gained them a honk of the Luke's horn. "Unto the breach."

 **A/N: just one flashback this chapter but I hope it gave a little more insight to what happened to Rory's marriage to Logan. And I really do enjoy writing present day so I hope you all dong mind too much :) and as always thank you for reading, reviewing, anything. You guys are the best.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: In the middle of writing the first scene, my power went out for a few minutes and me, being a bit stupid, didn't have it saved so I apologize if some of it seems off. I tried to rewrite what I had but I couldn't remember it exactly how I had it.**

 **Also there's a tiny flashback in this one, probably seems insignificant but I like it and it fits neatly into the chapter so I hope you like it!**

 **And Emily might seem a little OOC but she's meant to. Shes a cross between her usual self we're used to and a nicer version since losing her husband. Just in case that needed to be clarified since I'm not writing her completely as she is on the show :)**

The doorbell to the Gilmore household rung and Lorelai moved her finger from the button, waiting. Luke watched her in amusement. It had been a while since he was here as well and he wondered what exactly it be like this time. They had dropped Evan off at Sookie's but Lorelai felt a little guilty not being with him even if it's to her mother's.

Jess shifted on his feet. He moved them back and forth around each other and didn't look up at anyone. Rory watched him and wondered what he was thinking. He had been silent the whole car ride besides casual small talk which only made her wonder more.

The door opened a maid stood there. "Hello?"

"Yes, hello," Lorelai smiled at the confused girl. "We are the Gilmores and the Danes."

"Gilmores?" The maid asked. Her face scrunched up like she was confused.

Lorelai tried not to laugh. "Emily is expecting us."

The maid gasped. "Oh, come in!"

The five of them trailed in behind the maid and Emily walked toward the door with an exasperated look on her face. She definitely did not like this maid. "You're here!"

"We're here," Lorelai answered.

It felt awkward standing there in the entrance of the big house. The men looked all around for something to pay attention to. Emily turned to the maid, "Esmeralda, please take their coats."

The four of them quickly took their coats off and handed them to her. Esmeralda took the jackets and scuttled out of the room. Emily started her walk to the living room area. "Come in, come in."

Rory sat on besides Jess on the couch. Lorelai sat in a separate seat, figuring the men would not want to sit alone. Luke sat on Rory's other side on the couch. Emily asked everyone their drinks and started making them. Lorelai shuffled in her seat when a water was handed to her.

"I can drink soda," she objected.

Emily sat down with her glass in her hand. "Its better if you don't consume so much caffeine, Lorelai."

Lorelai groaned and they all started drinking from their glass. Emily looked to Rory. "My, its wonderful to see you again."

"It is," she smiled. It felt nice being back here on a Friday night. "I had a nice time last time I was here."

"As did the DAR ladies," Emily smiled at her granddaughter. "How is work?"

"Work is good," she nodded. "I feel like I've been writing non-stop."

"Wonderful!" She exclaimed proudly. She had never hid how proud she is of her granddaughter. "I subscribe to your newspaper so I can see every article."

Rory smiled a big smile. "Wow, Grandma. That...I'm glad you like them."

Emily waved it off as if it were nothing. She looked over to Lorelai. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Thank you, Mom," Lorelai said softly.

"I want to make a toast," she raised her glass. Everyone looked at each other in surprise but raised their glasses as well. "To Lorelai and Luke. I hope this child grows up as well as your other children. May they feel as loved and as safe as well."

Lorelai whispered after she sipped her water. "Thank you. That...that means a lot."

"I mean every word," Emily smiled.

Lorelai looked over at Rory as if to mouth 'wow, you weren't kidding'. Rory just shook her head and wanted to laugh. Her mother hasn't believed her about how Emily was the last time she went over. "That was a great toast, Grandma."

"You're welcome," she simply said but then her eyes landed on Jess and she followed noticed who he was. "I remember you."

"We met a few times over the years," he explained.

She kept her stare on him. "You sent me flowers."

Lorelai, Luke and even Rory looked over at Jess. "What?"

"I did," Jess confirmed.

"When?" Rory asked. He gave her a look and she understood. "Oh."

"When you sent me flowers?" Lorelai asked.

Emily and Rory looked at Lorelai while Luke's gaze went to Jess. "Now I remember."

Jess nodded. Emily's face turned back to him. "They were lovely. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said. Rory moved to look at him again but Emily interrupted.

"Did Luke bring you here tonight?" She asked. "To support your Uncle?"

"Uh -"

He wasn't sure if he should be the one who tells Emily Gilmore he's dating her granddaughter. Rory cut in and saved him before he could give it another thought. "Actually, Grandma, he's here for me."

"For you?" She asked.

"For me," Rory repeated and her hand slid into Jess' and she gave it a squeeze.

Emily's expression fell slightly but she managed a poker face and picked it up. "Oh."

Luke whispered. "Here we go."

"That's real nice," she simply said and sipped her drink again.

The four of them waited for her to say more and when she didn't, they stayed silent and finished their drinks.

The maid walked in. "Dinner is ready."

Emily rolled her eyes. "It's only 6:45, Esmeralda."

"Yes?" The maid asked. "But dinner is ready now."

"Well, fine," Emily huffed and stood up. Everyone stood up as well with her and followed towards the dining room. "I guess we're eating earlier today."

When she was out of view, Lorelai grinned at her daughter. With a whisper, she said, "I guess some things don't change."

"Did you say something, Lorelai?" Emily asked but didn't turn around.

"No," Lorelai shook her head. "Nothing, mom."

Luke hid a smirk and Jess kept his hand clasped onto Rory's. She gave him a reassuring smile and they continued their walk. Once at the table, Emily took her usual seat. Luke held out Lorelai's chair for her on her side and sat beside her. Rory let go of Jess' hand and pushed out her own chair. He watched her and finally sat beside her. Jess had been the last seated.

Esmeralda brought out their food one by one as Emily grew more and more impatient. When she was finished, she took a small bow and shuffled back to the kitchen. "Wow."

"Wow?" Emily asked.

Lorelai almost laughed at that word coming from her mother's mouth. "Just wondering how you're holding in what you really want to say to her."

Emily's face stayed still. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing, Mom," Lorelai replied.

Rory held her lips together in a tight line and tried not to laugh. Everyone ate and they fell into a familiar conversation. Jess and Luke stayed as quiet as possible, Jess more than Luke since the dinner was technically for Lorelai and him. He was grateful for Emily not saying what her expressions clearly wanted to whenever Rory reaches over and touched his hand.

At the end of the night, Rory, Jess and Luke walked out the door while Emily asked Lorelai for a moment before leaving. They waited outside the house for her to return. When Lorelai did rejoin them, Emily was not with her and her expression told Rory it was not a happy conversation.

"Mom?" Rory asked once she was outside. "What'd she want to talk about?"

"Nothing important," she shook her head and gave a smile. Rory could tell it was fake. "Re-offering congratulations."

"She did?" Luke seemed surprised. Her mother shot him a look that requested not to press on it. That made Rory wonder even more.

"Yeah, she did," she lied. "Let's go home. I'm dying for some pie."

Luke wrapped his arm around his wife. "When aren't you?"

She giggled. "I'd have to think about that answer, Alex."

They got into the car and Rory looked at Jess. He just shrugged, not knowing what happened in there either. He opened her door for her and got in himself then drove away. Luke's truck was ahead of them despite the traffic and Jess tried his best to stay behind.

"Jess?" She asked.

He turned to look at her quickly then back to the road. "Yeah?"

"What do you think Grandma said to mom?" She asked.

He sighed. "I don't know, Rory. You should ask her."

She turned slightly in her seat to look at him better. "I have a bad feeling about it."

He didn't look at her. "How come?"

"Did you see how she was looking at us?" Rory asked.

"Yeah," Jess nodded. "But that doesn't mean anything."

"She doesn't approve," she crossed her arms over her chest.

"So?"

"What do you mean, so?"

"So what if she doesn't approve?" He asked. "Are you gonna break up with me because she doesn't?"

"No!" She exclaimed in shock. "God, no. Why would you think that?"

"This sounds important to you," he shrugged. "What did you do last time? Somehow we kept dating without both your mother and your grandmother's approval."

"Yeah, but.."

"But what?" Jess pressed. "Does she have the final say?"

"No, but -"

Jess tightened his fist over the wheel as he tried to hold in any anger. "Who am I dating Rory, you or your grandmother?"

She sighed. "Me."

"It was rhetorical," he smirked and her face softened when she saw his did. "But you know, Luke did tell me that dating you was like dating your family. I guess I should have seen this coming."

"What?" She asked. "Luke said that?"

"A long time ago," he shrugged and tried to focus more on the road ahead. He didn't see Luke's truck anymore. "Damn it."

Rory sat up straight. "What?"

"I lost Luke and your mom," he told her. "I guess they got further."

"Oh," she pouted. "We know the way home. It'll be fine."

"I just hope your mom doesn't freak out when she doesn't see us behind her," he said.

"I'll text her and let her know we lost them but are on our way," Rory grabbed her phone and dialed.

Jess' eyes looked over at her while she typed and he couldn't help but stare at her hands. He forced his eyes back on the road. "Do you want me take you home? They're probably going straight there anyway."

Rory stopped typing and looked over at him, shrugging. "I don't know. Do you want to do anything?"

"It's still early," he said. "We could hang out."

"Sounds good," she agreed. "Then after, you're taking me home?"

"We probably won't be far from there," he added. "I can just walk you."

She nodded absentmindedly. Her thought were still wondering what her grandmother had said to her mom. "Sounds good."

Jess risked a glance at her. "Rory? You okay?"

"I'm fine," she smiled. "Right as rain."

He made a face and was ready to laugh when Rory's phone buzzed. "My mom says be safe, in every - oh my god."

Now he laughed. "Well I think we can say we have her approval."

"Oh my god," she repeated as she stared at her phone.

Jess stopped laughing and smirked when he looked over at her. "That's a lovely shade of red you got going there."

"Shush," she half-smiled. Rory noticed the laugh bubble to the surface and slapped at his arm. "Its not funny! She thinks we're gonna pull over on the side of the road and have sex!"

"I think I saw a shoulder back there I could pull into," he pointed to the way they came.

"You can shut up now," she told him which only made Jess laugh harder.

"You gotta admit its a little funny," he said.

"Its not," she stubbornly said. He gave her a look and she caved a little. "Only a little."

Jess took her hand in his and kissed it. He held it against his chest as be drove one-handed. Rory smiled at him then looked out toward the road as they drove back to Stars Hollow.

...

 _Jess walked out of his mom's house with a sigh. It always felt so draining to pretend he wasn't feeling what he felt when he looked at Liz and Doula. The hurt always stung at him everytime and he started his walk to Luke's after spending almost the whole day inside that house._

 _The diner was crowded. He wasn't surprised at that. It was nearing dinner time and there was hardly any tables available. Jess sat at the counter and much to his annoyance, he was next to Kirk. Luke came out of the back and almost laughed at what his nephew got stuck into._

 _"Don't say a word," Jess warned._

 _Luke put his hands up. "I didn't sat anything."_

 _"This place is too crowded," he groaned as he looked around at all the people._

 _"Sorry my business is getting in your way, Jess," Luke said sarcastically. "Next time, I'll have the health department shut us down so you have a better seat."_

 _Jess rolled his eyes. "Can I just get a burger? I'll eat upstairs or something."_

 _"Coming right up," Luke said and he shook his head, probably laughing, as he walked away._

 _"I always wanted a male family member to talk to," Kirk said to Jess. "Mother is all I have. Besides, Lulu, of course."_

 _Jess turned to him. "Gee, where's your father, Kirk?"_

 _Kirk was stunned. "Mother said he left."_

 _"I wonder why," his voice said. He felt bad. This was the way teenage Jess would deal with Kirk. He decided to make himself less of an ass. "My dad left, too."_

 _"Oh?" Kirk asked. Jess nodded. "Fathers can be very unreliable."_

 _Jess kept nodding. "Yes, they can be."_

 _"Your mother seems like a lovely woman," he admits. Jess cringed. "I don't see how he would have left her."_

 _"She was very different back then," Jess explained. "Needed help."_

 _Kirk was intent on keeping the conversation going. "What kind of help?"_

 _"The kind she couldn't get by herself," Jess found himself answering. "That she needed to want to be helped."_

 _"Mother never needed that kind of help," Kirk mused. "Unless I didn't notice."_

 _"Oh, you'd notice," Jess told him. "Trust me."_

 _"What are the signs if needing help?" He asked. "Just in case."_

 _"Does she drink?" Kirk shook his head. "Do drugs?" Kirk looked scandalized but shook his head. "Get headaches?"_

 _"She does!" Kirk exclaimed. "What does it mean?!"_

 _"It means you're her son," Jess smirked. "She's fine. Don't worry about it."_

 _"Really?" Jess nodded. "Oh, thank heavens. I was getting worried."_

 _Luke brought of the burger and a soda for Jess. "Worried about what?"_

 _"Jess was telling me signs on a sick mother," Kirk explained._

 _Luke looked at Jess then back at Kirk. "He was?"_

 _Kirk nodded. Jess spoke, though. "He brought it up."_

 _"That was insightful," Kirk said to both of them. "I'm going to go see Mother right now. See how she feels."_

 _He grabbed his jacket and paid. Kirk was out the door as fast as lightening. Luke turned back to him. "That was a nice thing you did."_

 _"What?" Jess asked. "I made small talk about Liz with the guy. I'm hardly doing something nice."_

 _"You talked to him," Luke pointed out._

 _"I didn't wanna sit next to him," Jess defended. "It got him out of here."_

 _"No," Luke eyed him suspiciously. "Its more than that."_

 _Jess scoffed. "Whatever."_

 _"You have grown up," he said then added. "In some ways more than others."_

 _Jess groaned. "Oh, go clean something!"_

 _"After I tell wife you're a softy now," Luke teased him._

 _"Shit," Jess muttered and started to eat his food. Maybe Luke was right. Maybe that has been a sign after all of how much he changed. It actually made him smile to think such a thing. Instead of dwelling on meanings, he ate his burger in silence and hoped this meant good things._

...

Jess parked his car in front of the diner and took the keys out of the ignition. Rory pulled her seatbelt off after texting her mom to let her know they made it and started to open the car when he touched her arm. "You want to stay here or go somewhere else?"

"Here has coffee," was her answer.

He smirked. "Guess that answers that."

Jess grabbed the keys and opened the door, his other hand held Rory's. She sat at the counter once inside and Jess started a pot of coffee. The smell traveled through the diner fast and she breathed it in, a smile on her face. Jess leaned over the counter from behind and reached for her hands.

"Remember before you went to school, you used to come sit in that exact seat?" He asked. "And I would take a break without telling Luke it was a break."

Her smiled widened. "We would sit exactly like this. My mom would tease me about how coupley we were acting."

"I used to do this, too," he rubbed his thumb over her hand and traced it along the skin. Her eyes closed as she not only enjoyed the feel of his fingers but rememberered. "And you would do just that, close your eyes."

"I like the way it feels when you touch me," she admitted.

Once she realized how her sentence had sounded, Rory blushed and looked down. Jess lifted her head with his free hand. He didn't say anything but he leaned in and kissed her lightly. Her eyes fluttered shut and she kissed him back. Jess' hand stayed on her chin as the kiss deepened.

Rory soon found herself stretching on her toes to reach him on the other side of the counter. Her thoughts traveled back to earlier in the night, to what her grandmother may or may not have said to her mother. He must have sensed the change in thought because Jess pulled away, leaving her surprised.

"You're still thinking about it, aren't you?" He asked, having guessed already at her thoughts.

She made a gesture with her shoulders. "It's nagging at me."

He shrugged. "Call your mom. Ask her. Tell her she has to tell you the truth."

"What if it's bad?" She bit her lap.

He shook his head. "But you'll know. Isn't that what's important?"

"You're right," she agreed with a nod.

They were quiet for a few seconds before Jess spoke again. "Why does it matter so much, Rory? I mean, this is more than just concern."

"I don't know," she whispered.

"If she said anything about us..." He asked. "Would it make a difference?"

"No," she said in a rough voice. "No."

"Damnit," he swore. "It would, wouldn't it?"

"I told you, no," she answered.

Jess leaned back against the back counter with his arms crossed. "It would. If Emily Gilmore said she doesn't want you with me, you would break it off."

"No!" She said louder. Rory was out of her seat and coming towards him. "She said she didn't want me be friends with you back in high school. She was mad at you after the accident. Hell, she yelled at my mom because we were together!"

"What?" He was surprised. She'd never told him about any of that.

"If I didn't back down then," she continued. "Why would I now? You're such an idiot sometimes for a smart guy."

Jess stopped leaning and stood straight. "Excuse me?"

"You're so stupid," she shook her head. "I love you. My grandmother can't decide if I stay with you."

Jess froze. "What did you say?"

She froze, too as she realized what she just admitted. "Um -"

"You do?" He asked. His voice was much softer now and he tried not to let his hope show.

She nodded. "I do."

Jess walked to Rory, closing the last gap of floor between them. "Say it again."

His hand came on both sides of her face. She was forced to look into his brown eyes and she took a breath before telling him. "I love you."

The answering smile her words received were enough for Rory to not feel embarrassed. She was afraid of admitting already but the look on his face told her she hadn't needed to be. His lips crashed down to hers. They melted together and moved in the same rhythms. Her arms wrapped around his neck and the coffee he brewed was far forgotten.

He pulled away for a second and stared into Rory's eyes. "I love you, too."

"You do?" She mirrored the words he asked her seconds ago.

He smiled and replied her words back to her. "I do."

"After everything?" She asked. "Philadelphia?"

Jess simply pushed her hair behind her ear and nodded. "After everything."

She smiled at him happily. "Jess -"

He cut her off to ask his own question. "And you do, after everything...everything I did? High school?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "I don't think I ever really stopped."

"Me, either," he stroked her face.

Rory couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed at him and kissed him fiercely. Her tongue swept into his mouth and he held her body right against his. A moan escaped her mouth and he smirked against her lips, proud of the sound he made her make. He lifted her up and Rory's legs tangled around his waist. Jess carried them from behind the counter.

"Jess -" her eyes were dark and he could barely see them in the blackness. But the intent was clear. She wanted him and wondered how much it showed.

He was ready to pull away but she shook her head and held him tighter. "Take me upstairs."

Jess carried her as best as he could up the stairs to the apartment. Rory laughed but stopped once he opened the door. He brought her straight to his old bed and put her down on top of it. She pulled him down to her and the kissing resumed. Jess hovered over her, carefully crawled onto the bed, his hands on her face and her arms wrapped around his neck.

They laid there just kissing for a few minutes before her hands traveled to the buttons on the front of his dress shirt he had worn to dinner. He pulled away to look into her eyes. Blue shined back at him and she smiled. Jess kissed her sweetly. Her hands went back to work in the buttons.

It didn't take her long to get the buttons done and Rory pushed it off him. He had a tee shirt on underneath and she could see his muscles through it. They were much more defined and...bigger now. He looked amazing with them, she thought. Jess didn't notice her thoughts working and started kissing her neck. His hands went to her legs, traveling over her skin. Rory shivered and her dress felt like not enough anymore.

She leaned up a little and pushed her hair out of the way. Jess couldn't figure out what she was doing until he heard a zipper. Rory got it down as low as she could then Jess took over. He pulled it off of her shoulders and down her chest, revealing her blue bra. She kissed him again when her dress was halfway down and he eagerly responded. Her hands went to the bottom of his shirt so he moved apart to let her pull it off him.

Since they were apart, Jess leaned off the bed and pulled her dress down the rest of the way. Rory blushed so red that she was thankful it was dark. She wasn't sure why she felt so nervous at his reaction to seeing her. It's not like this was her first time but yet at the same time it felt like it was. Their lips came together again and she unbuckled his belt. Jess let them fall and stepped out of them as he came back onto the bed to rejoin her.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: thank you so much for the reviews and favorites/following! Knowing you are reading and liking it are a HUGE part of why I'm still going. You all rock, really.

"So long for that coffee," Jess said.

Rory smiled. "I think this is the one time I'll make an exception to not care."

He nods and kissed her bare shoulder. "I'm more important than coffee?"

"No one said more important," she said scandalized. "Nothing is more important than coffee."

"Huh," he replied and pretended to get up. "I guess I should be going then and leave you with the coffee."

Rory laughed and grabbed his arm. "Don't you dare."

Jess leaned back down against the pillow and Rory snuggled up to him. Her head rested on his chest and she sighed contently. His hand moved up to her hair and stroked it. "What are you thinking?"

"That I'm happy," she answered without hesitation. "Really happy."

He kissed her forehead then smirked. "Any particular reason?"

"Well, I did get a new subscription to this magazine," she teased but answered honestly a second later. "You make me happy, Jess."

"Are you sure its not just what we did?" He nuzzled her hair. "Because we never did do that before."

She blushed at the mention of what happened and was still happening up until five minutes ago. "No though that did make me very happy."

"Me too," Jess kissed her lightly on the lips and smiled at her.

"Jess?" She asked.

His fingers began playing with her hair again. "Hmm?"

"Tell me again," Rory said.

He didn't even need to ask. "I love you."

She smiled brightly at him. "I love you, too."

Jess moved himself to align with Rory in the bed and moved his lips to her ear. "And I really really want to do this again."

"Play your cards right..." She mused and tried to hide just how much she wanted to, too. It was harder than she thought considering they were lying naked in his teenage years bed.

"How about I come to New York with you?" He asked in a whisper. "Is that playing my cards right?"

"What?" She was surprised. "You want go come to New York with me?"

"You mean I haven't made it obvious?" He teased with a smirk.

"You're serious?" Jess nodded. "Oh my god. How?"

He shrugged as best as he could in his position. "I can always write and edit from somewhere else. I've been doing it here so why not, right?"

Rory adjusted herself to lean on her side to stare at him. The blankets moved slightly off of her and Jess was finding it very hard to concentrate on anything else. "Really?"

He forced his eyes back to hers, silently cursing himself for having to. "Unless you don't want me to. Do you want me to?"

"Jess," she beamed.

Rory just shook her head and rolled herself on top of him. She hovered over Jess and stared right into his eyes. He brushed hair away from her face and stared back. "So? What do you think?"

"I think you somehow just topped sex," she teased.

He mock-gasped. "Well, I think that means we have to do it again to top my question."

She leaned forward, her lips hovered right above his. "I think that can be arranged."

Their lips met and the world seemed to fade away. Jess' hands came up to her hair as her hands lay flat down on his chest. He was very aware of the fact that the girl of his dreams was on top of him, only covered by a blanket which was already sliding off her, and grinned against her mouth.

Rory's hands traveled to his abs and she kept them there, memorizing how they felt under her fingers. His hands however moved from her hair and went lower, too. She made a little sound when he reached her breasts and ran his thumb over her skin. That only made his grinbigger and she kissed him harder to show how much she liked his hands.

"Jess..." She groaned. He separated himself from her lips but kept his hands exactly where they were. His other fingers were moving to where his thumbs had been and her eyes closed while more sounds came out of her mouth.

Her hands dared to go even lower. She wanted him to know how she felt. Once she got right above him, her fingers skimmed his own skin and she grinned at him. Jess knew what kind of game she was playing and he'd be damned if he didn't play along. Then he reached his hands to her hips, moving them slightly with enough rythym to make sounds out of both of them. She sat up straight on him now, the blanket slid off her completely. He grinned once again and leaned up to kiss her.

Her fingers threaded themselves into his hair. She gripped the strands she could find and sighed. Jess' fingers sprayed out on her bare back, holding her to him. The kiss seemed neverending. It left both of them dizzy and panting when they broke apart. He used that to his advantage and flipped Rory over so he was now on top.

The grin widened on his face as he leaned down and kissed her another time. Tongues mingled and hands wandered, hers rested on his lower back, his muscles moving underneath her fingers. Jess dipped his head lower and started kissing her neck. Rory's eyes closed and she leaned back on the pillow completely content. His kisses went lower as he kissed his way down her chest, leaving a kiss on each breast before continuing down. She giggled when he reached her belly button but even that was short-lived once he got even more lower.

Rory clutched the sheets beneath her, she gripped them as best as she could. She had to bite her lip and hold her mouth shut so the sounds that threatened to break through wouldn't. The diner downstairs may have been closed but if she was as loud as she wanted to be, you'd be able to hear her across town.

Jess' head came back to her and she kissed him hungrily. She didn't care he tasted like her. All she cared about was how much she wanted him. Rory pulled him down to her and it felt deliciously sweet to have him right against her. He hovered over her once again and they were so close. That was when it happened.

The phone rang loud and clear through the apartment. They both stayed perfectly still, waiting to hear who it was before they stopped any activity. Lorelai's voice came on after the beep and Jess sighed deeply as he rolled off of Rory.

"Hiya, sweets!" Her mothers voice said over the machine. Rory wanted to laugh there was still an answering machine here as well but went against it. Instead, she covered herself up in the sheets and listened. "I was wondering if you were actually planning on coming back tonight or you know, if you're staying overnight with your boyfriend. See? I'm a cool mom. I say that so casually."

Jess tilted his head. "Go answer. You can go home."

She looked at him questionably as her mother continued. "Anyway, I wanted to know. Evan's asking for you but I totally understand if you want to stay there. I mean, hey, I was your age once. We'll not speak of when, however, I was that age. I don't need to feel old."

Rory made a decision and wrapped the sheet tighter around her body. That left Jess alone on the bed with barely a blanket left and she almost ran right back to him. Her feet pulled her in the direction of the phone and she picked it up. "Mom?"

"Hey!" Lorelai gasped in surprise. "I wasn't sure I was going to get you."

"You got me," she told her. "Um, I don't know if I'm coming home tonight."

"Oh," Lorelai said. "Okay."

"Its just -"

"Jess and you are in the love bubble."

Rory blushed and looked back towards to the bed where he still laid. He watched her intently like he was trying to hear her side of the conversation. "Yeah, we are."

She imagined her mother nodding as she thought it through. "You're happy, kid?"

"I am," she answered. "Really."

Lorelai took a deep breath on the other side. "Okay."

"Okay," Rory repeated.

"Hun?" Lorelai asked. She didn't wait for an answer. "I know I said I was cool and all but please, please tell me you're being safe."

"We are," she whispered as the heat once again rushed to her face.

"Okay," Lorelai said. "That's all I ask for then."

"Mom?" Rory asked after another glance at Jess. "I think I will come over. I have some news to share with you, too, by the way."

"Please don't tell me how Jess is in bed because I don't think I could handle that," Lorelai pleaded.

Rory's face turned even redder. She ducked so Jess wouldn't see. "Oh my god. Mom, no!"

Lorelai laughed on the other end. "Oh, thank God. I was just teasing you anyway. Jeez, you're distracted when you're getting some."

Rory shook her head and hoped that would make the red go away. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Kay," Lorelai said. "Bye, hun. Love you."

"Love you, mom," Rory hung up the phone and walked back to towards the bed. Jess now stood beside it, his boxers already back on. "What are you doing?"

"I know we've been in our world right now but I don't think you'd really forget what getting dressed is," he told her with a smirk.

"I know that," she clutched the sheet to her body. "But why?"

"Didn't you tell your mom you're going there?" He questioned. "I doubt it'll go over well if we're naked."

The blush returned and she looked at her feet then back up at him. "We don't have to go immediately."

"Oh," he said in a low voice. The sound of it alone made her thoughts turn nc-17. Jess came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "So that means we have some time to kill."

"Hmm, I guess it does," she agreed.

Her head turned to kiss him and his hands moved up to cup her chin. Rory turned herself around and deepened the kiss as she put her arms around his neck again. The sheet fell from her grasp and that was the end of talking.

...

"Mom?"

Rory opened the front door and called out. Lorelai appeared in the doorway and made a shushing gesture over her lips. "Evan's sleeping."

"Oh," Rory whispered. "Sorry."

Lorelai waved her hand in front of her. "Its fine. I doubt he heard you."

Rory nodded. "It is pretty late."

"Uh-huh," Lorelai agreed. "It is."

"Oh, just say it already," Rory looked all around, anywhere but her mother's face. "You know you want to."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lorelai pretended to not know.

Rory rolled her eyes. "You brought it up on the phone."

"That was teasing," Lorelai said. "I don't think I can handle actually seeing your face and all the mushy looks you get when talking about him and...it."

"I won't talk about it," she promised. "But I will tell you something else. Two something elses, actually."

Lorelai sat down on the couch. "They better not be dirty."

"They're not," Rory sat beside her. "Remember how you asked me why I didn't tell Jess yet?"

"Yes?"

"Well, I did now."

"What?" She was surprised. "You finally told him?"

"Jeez, make it sound like we're together for years before I tell him," she smirked.

"What did he say?" She asked. "Please don't tell me he ran off or something."

She shook her head but the grin stayed in place. "He said it back."

"Wow," she said stunned.

"I know," Rory agreed. "I wasn't really expecting that. I didn't even mean to say it."

"Well what made you finally say it?" Lorelai asked curiously.

"We were sort of arguing," she bit her lip. "And I just said it and we stopped arguing because we were both kind of stunned."

"And then you jumped him?" She suggested.

Rory's eyes bulged. "No! He told me he loves me, too."

Lorelai patted her daughter's leg. "That's great, hun. I'm really happy for you. Really."

"Thanks, Mom," Rory smiled. "There's more, though."

"Is this the dirty part?"

"Mom!"

"Fine," she surrendered. "Tell me what else. I'll be good, promise."

"Jess wants to come back to New York with me," Rory half-whispered.

Lorelai leaned forward. "I'm sorry. I don't believe I heard you. Jess wants to come back with you?"

Rory nodded. "I don't know how serious he is because I'm not sure I can ask him to do that. Can I ask him to do that?"

"Sweetie, I don't think you need to ask," her mother gave her a smile. "It sounds like he made his choice."

"It does?" She asked. "I don't want him to make a decision he'll regret."

"Where have you been the last fourteen years, hun?" Lorelai asked and Rory made a confused face. "He's crazy about you, always has been. You're not making him do anything."

"So..." She started. "I just...let him? So I don't have to miss him?"

"Hun, do you want to miss him?" Lorelai questioned.

"No," Rory answered quickly. "I don't. I really really don't."

"If you're wondering if he's actually serious about this," Her mother advised her. "Talk to him about it. Ask him while you two are, I don't know, dressed."

Rory blushed a deep red. "How do you even know that? I didn't even tell you first."

"Sweetie, please," Lorelai scoffed and turned both hands toward herself. "I'm me."

"But -"

"I'm surprised you even dare challenge my knowledge," Lorelai gasped mockingly. Then she waved her hands in a weeping motion in front of Rory's face. "These are not the droids you're looking for."

That made Rory laugh and she caved. "Okay, fine. I won't challenge it."

They leaned back on the couch and Lorelai turned on the tv. Old episodes of Friends were on so she left that on. After a few minutes of silence, Rory turned to her mother accusingly. "Evan's sleeping."

Lorelai looked at her confused. "Yes, he is."

"You said he was asking for me," she continued. "Did you - did you use my brother to get me to come home?"

"No," she gave an evil smile. "I would never do that."

Her daughter stared at her. "Admit it."

"I won't admit to that," Lorelai shook her head. "However, I will admit to using tour brother to get you away from Jess and to Mommy."

Rory's jaw dropped. She snapped it shut and crossed her arms over her chest. In a whisper, she said, "I should have figured."

...

The next morning, Jess was more than disappointed to wake up alone. He'd hoped Rory would sneak back in and when he awoke, she would be there. He groaned and turned over. The pillow still smelt like her. Luke questioned him on where he was going when he came downstairs. Jess had rolled his eyes at the flashback he felt to high school.

He headed to Liz's with his hands stuffed in his pockets. His thoughts swept back to wondering if Rory had asked Lorelai about what Emily said yet. He guessed he'd find out later. Instead, he focused on why he was where he was. Doula was bound to be home today, it being Saturday unless she had plans. He hoped not because that would leave him with Liz and TJ. His finger rapped on the door and it swung open to really a smiling Liz. "Jess!"

"Hey, Liz," he smiled back at her. She took his face in her hands and looked at him then hugged him tightly.

"My boy," she murmered against him.

Jess let her hug him and when the hug ended, he asked, "Is Doula here?"

Liz nodded. "She's in there reading."

He smirked. He loved that his little sister liked to read, too. "Can I maybe take her somewhere?"

"Sure!" Liz beamed. "She would love that."

Liz widened the door and Jess walked inside. Doula looked up from her seat on the couch and almost dropped her book. "Jess!"

"Hey," he laughed as she charged at him. He hugged his sister tight and a genuine smile went across his face.

"What are you doing here?" Doula asked.

"Dunno," he shrugged. "I was looking for someone who'd want to go for ice cream with me. Do you know anyone like that?"

She smiled brightly and hugged him tighter. "Mom said its okay?"

"Of course it is," Liz touched her daughter's hair. "Go with your brother."

Jess stood up and grabbed her hand. Doula still loved when he did that and didn't complain like she did when her father did it. Once he promised to not spoil her dinner too much and even to come over for dinner - reluctantly agreed, at least - they left.

"Where's your dad?" Jess asked. He was definitely glad to not run into his stepfather. Usually, he purposely tried to so he wasn't even sure why he asked.

Doula looked up at him. "Mom said he had stuff to do for the faire that's coming. She's meeting with them later."

"Oh," he nodded. Jess led her to the direction that would take them to Taylor's ice cream shoppe. He always laughed when he saw the spelling of shoppe.

"Where's Rory?" Doula asked.

Jess looked down at her, surprised. Nothing passed her. "At her mom's, probably."

"With Evan?" She asked.

Jess nodded. "Probably."

"Is she gonna be there all day?" She continued with her line of questioning.

"Dunno," he replied. "Maybe. Why? You never ask this much about Rory."

"It always hurt you before," she simply said. Jess almost stopped walking. Nothing really did pass her. She kept going as if she hadn't shocked him with how observative she is. "Now that you two are back together, you smile when she's mentioned. It seems safer to ask then."

"You're very observant for an eight year old, did you know that?" He smirked.

"Its a gift," she shrugged. "Do you think she's busy tonight?"

"Again, I ask why?" He nudged her but then it connected. "You want her come to dinner, don't you?"

"You're coming," she said.

"Yes, I am," he agreed. "Partly because Liz guilted me."

She rolled her eyes and he held back a laugh. Doula was more like him that he thought. "So what if we guilt her, too?"

"You're gonna guilt Rory into dinner tonight?" He smirked. "How are you going to do that?"

Doula looked up to Jess with wide, puppy eyes. "Guess."

"Me?" He asked. Taylor's shoppe was so close, they were almost in front of it.

"You're her boyfriend," she commented.

"That I am," he agreed with a small smile. His thoughts traveled to last night but he quickly wiped the expression off his dace before Doula saw.

"She'll want to have dinner with you, won't she?" She asked.

"I guess," he answered nonchalantly. He didn't want her hopes up because he wasn't even sure he'd ask Rory.

"Jess!" She pulled on his sleeve. "Ask her. For me!"

He laughed at her insistence. "Why is this so important?"

"Because..." She half-whispered. "I wanna get to know her."

"You know Rory," he pointed out. "You even spend every holiday with her."

"That's different," she shook her head.

They stopped in front of the shoppe. People walked in and out while they stood there. "How?"

"Because she's your girlfriend now," Doula replied. "I wanna know her as your girlfriend. Not my uncle's stepdaughter."

Jess was very glad she hasn't seen her cousin's sister. Their connection was very weird to hear even if not by blood. He looked down at his little sister's eyes and just nodded. "Okay. I'll ask her."

Doula smiled brightly and hugged her brother. "Thank you!"

"Nothing's official yet," he said.

"That's okay," she smiled.

He let go of her and tapped her leg with his toe. "Now go order the ice cream. I'm gonna call Rory and see if she has plans."

Doula took the money he held out for her and rushed inside. Taylor stared at him from inside and just to be funny, Jess waved at him. Taylor looked so scandalized that it just made him laugh. He took out his phone then and called Rory.

"Hello?" She asked. "Jess?"

"Hey," he couldn't help the smile that came on his face.

"Hey," she said in a softer voice.

"I missed you this morning," he admitted.

Jess imagined the blush that could creep onto her cheeks. "I missed you, too."

"When we're in New York, we can always wake up like that," he told her.

She was silent than asked, "You mean it? You'll come to New York?"

"You thought I was kidding?" He asked with a smile.

"No," Rory answered. "I just wasn't sure if it was, you know."

"What, sex?"

"Heat of the moment."

"It wasn't," he told her honestly.

She whispered back, "Okay. Good."

"Good," he mirrored. Then he remembered why he had called. Doula had already paid and was waiting beside the counter for their ice cream. He felt guilty leaving her alone for a few minutes but figured she wouldn't want to hear them talk. "I did have a reason to call you, though."

"You mean missing me isn't a reason?" She teased.

"Reason besides that," he corrected. Rory laughed on the other side. "Do you have plans tonight?"

"Um, I don't think so," she said. "I could ask my mom if we're doing anything. Why?"

"Well, I have a dinner proposition to ask you about then."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I take what feels like forever to update now! I'm so so sorry. I always plan on working on it but then I either get busy or tired from being busy so just be patient. I know my updates have been pretty quick and I'm still here just as invested as all of you so if I don't have a new chapter up as fast as I usually would, know there *will* be one soon still. Hopefully this chapter is a reward for your patience.**

"Are you sure?" Jess said into his phone. "I bet I could make up some excuse to get us both of it if I think fast enough."

"No," Rory smiled softly. "I'm already on my way anyway."

"What?" He asked. "I told you I'd come pick you up."

"Its not that far of a walk, Jess," she defended.

He let out a dry laugh. "But still. You're making me look bad, Ror."

She laughed, too. "That's doubtful. I can't see anything being able to make you look bad."

He smirked into the phone and whispered. "Is that a reference to last night I hear?"

Jess imagines the bright shade of red Rory would turn into as she walked closer in his direction. "No."

"Liar," he replied.

"I just meant -" she stopped than started again. "You're playing me, aren't you?"

"Nah," he lied.

"You want to hear me say it," she challenged.

Jess shrugged with his smirk in place. "Maybe."

"Fine," Rory said. She lowered her voice when she said her next sentence. "You never look bad, whether its clothed or not."

He stayed silent as he stood still not far from the diner. Jess hadn't even begun walking to Liz's since he was gonna walk Rory there. After a shuffle of his feet, he spoke again. "Now you're making me really want to cancel even more than I wanted to already."

Rory laughed, back to her usual volume. "We're going, Jess."

Before he could comment, Jess noticed Rory walking toward him. He watched her as she moved across the square. She gave him a smile. "Wow."

She ducked her head down. "I have to go. I see my date."

"Date, huh?" He smirked. "Is he good looking?"

"He's okay," she answered for his benefit. Jess laughed and she waved at him. "Be right there."

They hung up once she was closer. As soon as he could, Jess wrapped his arms around Rory's waist and pulled her to him. "Hi."

"Hi," she breathed.

Rory wrapped her arms around him as well while he nudged her nose with his. "I missed you."

"Me, too," she blushed. "We haven't seen each other since -"

"Last night," he finished. "Or this morning, if you want to be specific."

"Do you think, that maybe -" she started.

Jess tugged her closer to him. "Think what?"

"Can I stay with you tonight?" She peered at him from underneath her eyelashes with her blue eyes.

He stared at her back with the same seriousness she held in her eyes. "You don't even need to ask."

"Good," she smiled and closed her eyes only to reopen them a second later. "We should go."

Jess just nodded and untangled his arms from around her. His hand kept in contact with hers still and they started walking together with their hands between them. The walk was quiet and Jess occasionally stole glances at Rory. She looked nervous.

"You okay?" He asked.

She nodded too fast. "Yeah. I'm good."

"My offer still stands to get us out of this," he told her.

Rory smiled softly and looked over at him for a moment. "No, its okay. Your sister would be sad."

Jess nodded in agreement. He hated to disappoint Doula as much as he hated to disappoint Luke or Rory. "You sure?"

"Yeah," she squeezed his hand in assurance.

He didn't quite believe her, though. "Rory, you look like you're going to trial. You can't be fine."

She bit her lip nervously. "You'll think its stupid."

"Tell me anyway," he encouraged.

"This is the first time I'm really meeting your mom," she explained.

Jess was confused. "Didn't you meet her years ago? And go to all these family functions with her?"

"Well, yeah," she gestured with her free hand. "But tonight, I officially meet her as her son's girlfriend."

Jess held in a laugh. "That's what you're worried about?"

Rory nodded. "I knew you'd think it's stupid."

They stopped walking and Liz's house was in sight. Jess stood in front of her and held her both her hands now. "I don't think its stupid."

"Then what?" She asked. "You obviously are thinking something."

"Yeah, I am," he agreed. Rory waited as patiently ad she could for him to continue. "I'm thinking you've already met Liz countless times. And that she loves you. Liz has never really known any girl I've been involved with but she knows you."

"What if she thinks differently of me now that we're back together?" Rory asked quietly. "Does she know our history?"

Jess shrugged. "She knows we dated and it didn't work out."

"That's it?" She continued. "Not any details?"

"Why are you even worried?" He asked her. "I'm the one who fucked up the first time around. If anything, she'd love you more than me if she knew."

Rory rolled her eyes in disbelief. "I doubt it."

"She knows you better than she knows me," he simply said. "Liz would kick my ass for leaving you like Jimmy left her."

"Jess..." She whispered.

Jess started his walk again towards the house and held onto Rory's hand. She shruggled to keep up with him. "Don't worry, it'll be fine."

"That wasn't what I -" she took a deep breath and scrambled in front of him. The door was right there now. Jess stared at her, waiting. "You're not Jimmy, Jess. You need to know that. You're not your father."

Jess was about to disagree when the door opened and TJ, Jess' step-father stood in front of them. "Well, looky here."

The two of them turned to him and erased the serious words from their expressions. Rory gave a big smile and Jess was his usual self to TJ. "Are we late?"

"You're right on time," TJ ushered them inside. "Come on. It feels nippy out there."

Jess held back a laugh at the word nippy and Rory noticed his laughing eyes. She nudged him with her elbow. "Where's Liz?"

"In the kitchen," TJ pointed over his shoulder with his thumb to show them where. "She said with the extra guests, it needed to be perfect."

"Oh, she doesn't have to do that for us," Rory said.

"Its no problem," TJ waved it off. "Liz loves to cook. Sometimes she likes to cook foods that'll turn us on so much that -"

"Whoa!" Jess shut his eyes to erase the images. "Don't need to hear about that, TJ."

"What?" TJ asked. He really didn't know what he did wrong and Jess found that to be the worst of all. Rory held back a snicker beside him.

"Just...shut up, TJ," he said as calmly as he could. Jess wasn't really sure what the protocol for telling your stepfather to not talk about him and your mother's sex life was.

TJ shrugged his shoulders, not understanding and shouted. "Lizzie! They're here!"

Rory squeezed Jess' hand again and gave him a small smile. He smiled his own back at her when Liz came out of the kitchen, a towel in her hands to dry them off. "Baby! Hello!"

"Liz," he groaned. Rory smiled big at his embarrassment. She thought it was adorable.

Liz walked right up to him and pulled Jess into a hug. "What? I can't call my baby 'baby'?"

Jess groaned again but hugged his mom back. "Oh, geez."

TJ looked over at Rory who now stood there alone since Jess' hand had left hers to return the hug. "Rory! You're the spitting image of your mother, I tell you."

"Thank you," she nodded at him.

Liz finally let Jess go and TJ continued. "I tell you, quick look, and I would have thought little Jess here brought Lorelai over for dinner."

"Jesus," he muttered under his breath then spoke up. "Doula upstairs?"

"She's getting ready," Liz confirmed. "I should go get her now actually. She'd be sad she missed her big brother's arrival."

"I can get her," Rory suggested.

Liz's eyes lit up. "Oh, would you? Last room on the right."

Rory nodded and Jess pleaded a silent look to not leave him down there alone. She kissed his cheek and gave him an apologetic smile before she turned up the steps. When she reached the last room on the right, Rory tapped on the door just loud enough to get Doula's attention.

"Who is it?" The little girl asked on the other side.

"Rory," she answered. "Can I come in?"

Slowly the door opened and Doula looked up at Rory from inside her room as if she was inspecting her. "Hello, Rory."

She smiled at her formality. "Hello, Doula. Your mom wants you come down because Jess and I just got here."

Doula's face brightened. "He's here now?"

"Right downstairs," Rory nodded.

"Okay," the little girl said. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared right into Rory's eyes. "First things first, though. We need to talk."

"Okay," Rory nodded again. "What about?"

"You're dating my brother," Doula said.

Rory couldn't help but smile. "Yes, I am."

"My brother doesn't date," she stated. "Besides you and...well, there was someone else for a while there. But generally, he doesn't date."

Rory's smile faded. This was a sister version of hurt-him-and-you-die. She decided to be honest with the young girl in front of her. "I'm in love with him."

Doula nodded, arms still crossed. "Does he know?"

"Yes," Rory answered.

"He's always loved you, you know," she pointed out. "For as long as I can remember, he has been. Even when he was with the other girl."

A second mention of the other girl and Rory really wondered who she was. But the words coming out of Jess' sister's mouth surprised her. "He has?"

"Like you don't know," Doula responded.

"I - he told me but I wasn't sure," her mouth opened and closed. "I always thought he would move on."

"He did and he didn't," she shrugged. Rory wanted to laugh at how she did that just like Jess. "I want you to promise me you won't hurt him."

"I won't," she shook her head. "I don't plan on it."

"Nobody plans on it," Doula said. "But they do, anyway."

Rory froze, thinking of Philadelphia and Dean and going off to Washington. "How much do you know of our history?"

"Not much," she answered. "But enough. I'm still waiting for your promise."

"You know, he did his own share of hurting, too," Rory said. She hasn't meany to say that, especially to his sister but it came out as she thought of the past.

"I do know," Doula confirmed. "And I'll get to him. But right now, I'm asking you, woman to woman, to not break my brother's heart."

Rory nodded and shuffled her feet. She looked back up at the eight year old in front of her, who seemed so much smarter than her and older than her real age. She couldn't not say what she asked for. "I promise."

A light knocking on the door and it swung open. Jess stood there with a curious expression on his face. "Liz wanted to know what was taking so long."

"Jess!" Doula ran to him and hugged him tightly to her. Rory gave him a reassuring smile and he smiled back. She pulled back and looked at her brother. "We were just having a girl talk."

...

Dinner was all right. Liz didn't dare to bring up Jess' childhood years and he tried to hold back any comments he wanted to add. TJ leaned back in his chair, patting his stomach. "I'm full. That food was fannnnn-tastic, Lizzie."

Liz smiled at her husband. "Thank you, baby."

Jess made a face and Rory giggled low at him. She reached across and grabbed his hand, catching Doula's attention. TJ stood out of his chair, a loud squeak sounded as it skid across the floor. "How about I do the dishes for you, let you all catch up?"

Liz smiled huge at her husband as he too their plates and carried them off. Jess put her elbows on the table. "We don't have to catch up, you know."

"Oh pfft," Liz waved off. "I want to know everything."

Rory held back a blush. "There's not much. I come here and I go back to Philly. I edit books and release the zine then I come back here."

"What are you editing?" Liz asked.

Jess shrugged. "A friend asked me to edit something so I'm working on that."

"Are you writing?" Rory found herself asking before she thought it through.

He looked over at her now. "Some. Here and there."

Liz's eyes lit up. "Really? When can I read it?"

"It's not even a book yet," Jess said. "Its just some ramblings."

Rory smiled at him. "I'm sure it will be a book, though."

"Maybe," he shrugged.

Doula watched him shut down slightly when asked about his writing. She decided to interrupt. "Jess, are you coming back here again soon? To stay?"

"Uh -" he started then looked over at Rory and remembered a conversation quite early this morning, under the cover of blankets and the moon. "Actually, no. I was thinking about going to New York for a bit."

"New York?!" Doula shouted.

Liz gasped. "What about your job?"

"I can do my job anywhere probably," he replied. "I don't have to write and edit in an exact place."

"But you pretty much run the place," Liz said. "They'll be okay?"

Jess pretended to think before answering. "Yeah. They'll be fine."

Doula watched Rory watch her brother and connected the dots. "You live in New York. Don't you?"

Rory was surprised she was being asked questions right then. She quickly recovered and replied, "I do, as a matter of fact."

"You're making him leave, aren't you?" Doula accused.

"Doula, no -"

"I'm going to New York because I want to," Jess explained. "Rory didn't even ask me to."

"Sweetheart," Liz said and Jess tried to hide his flinch as he remembered when he was little and she called him the exact word she now called his sister. "Your brother is a grown man and he's in a relationship. He's bound to want to see her occasionally."

"More than he wants to see me?" She yelled. "Why is she so important? She broke his heart!"

Rory now was the one who flinched. Jess recovered faster than her. "She's important because I love her. And I want to go with her and actually spend time with my girlfriend."

"Sure," Doula continued loudly. "Because girlfriends are more important than sisters. I guess as long as you're sleeping with someone, they're important!"

"Doula!" Liz yelled. "That is enough. Go upstairs right now and stay in there until I come."

Doula huffed then stormed off. She stomped her feet all the way up the steps then slammed the door as loud as she could. Rory jumped in her seat at the sound. Jess turned to his mother, apologetic. "I didn't mean for her to find out like this. I was gonna ease her into it."

"Its okay," Liz said. "She just misses you. And she loves when we go visit you or you visit us."

"That doesn't have to change," he told her.

"I know," she smiled softly. "But she doesn't."

TJ walked out of the kitchen with an energetic expression on his face. "Hey, what'd I miss?"

...

Jess knocked on the familiar door with his knuckles. The sound was low but loud enough for the occupant to hear. He opened the door just enough to peek inside and saw Doula sitting on her bed, surrounded by pillows and holding a stuffed bunny. She looked up when he opened the door further. "Hey."

"I don't want to talk to you," she turned to the window.

"Okay," he put his hands in surrender. "I'll talk, then."

She turned her face back to him and waited. Jess shut the door behind him then went to sit on the edge of the bed. He was quiet at first but when he finally spoke again, his voice was calm.

"Downstairs," he started. "What you said was out of line. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad even though I can't help but think you said those things to make me feel bad. But it wasn't okay, Doula, and you need to know that."

"That's why you're here?" She asked. "To defend your girlfriend's honor?"

"No," he sighed. "I'm here because you also need to know that I'm not choosing her over you. And I wish you wouldn't think that's what's happening."

She sat up straighter. "Then what is?"

"I have loved Rory for a long time," he explained. "And I know she broke my heart. I broke hers, too. But right now, me and her have a chance. And of all the reasons for it not to work, I don't want not living near each other to be one of them."

"Where's the part where you're not choosing her over me?" Doula asked curiously. She had calmed down since dinner but she still felt hurt by his decision to move to be with Rory but he didn't move to be with her.

"Did you know New York is closer than Philadelphia?" He asked. Doula shook her head. "It is. So really, if I go with her, I'll be closer to you than before and I can visit more often."

Her voice was low and skeptical. "Really?"

"Really," he smiled at her. "So instead of yelling about me choosing her, think of the bonuses. And besides, I thought you liked Rory. You invited her to dinner."

"That was before I knew you'd move away from work to be with her but not me," she replied.

"Come on," he pleaded. "What did we just go through? I'll see you more this way."

"Okay," she reluctantly agreed. "But I like Philly. I like going down there to see you. I like when Uncle Luke comes and April visits. I like that place and I like you there."

"I'll still be there," he said. "I'm not moving for good. I need to go back there once in a while probably."

"So why go at all?" She questioned.

"Because I need to," he replied. "Does that make sense?"

"None at all," she smiled.

He laughed and ruffled her hair. "You'll understand when you're older...much older."

"Whatever you say," she laughed back.

"You know, its easy to forgot you're only eight," Jess mused.

"I may be eight but I'm well read," she said proudly.

He laughed again, glad they were back to normal. "That you definitely are."

...

Back at the apartment, Rory came out of the bathroom dressed in her pajamas. Jess smirked when he saw her. "What?"

"Cute pj's," he simply said.

Rory looked down at her flannel pajamas with puppies over them. "They're comfy."

"They're very sexy," he smirked.

She walked closer to him and he put his hands on her hips. "My mom is worried about me staying here."

"How come?" He kept smirking.

Rory gave him a look. "You know why."

"Does she know we're adults?" He asked. "Because you'd thinks she noticed."

"I think she's just in denial about you and me, alone," she whispered the last part. "Probably taking clothes off."

He looked at her in mock surprise. "Is that we're gonna do?"

"Maybe," she smiled. "Probably. Definitely."

"Good," he nodded as he ran his fingers over the collar of her top and left a trail to the top button. "Because we'd be wasting a perfectly good nice night alone."

She held his eyes with her own, her fingers playing with the hair behind his head. "Really? Because if I remember correctly, you decided to come home with me."

"I'm home with you now, too," he whispered and leaned forward to kiss her neck.

Rory closed her eyes and made a sound. The sound just made Jess continue more and more as he left a trail of kisses now to the button. When his mouth reached the skin above the fabric, Jess removed his fingers from her waist and undid the button. He kissed each inch of skin as he opened each button one by one. Her fingers dug into his hair and more sounds erupted from her.

When Jess got down to the very last button, he looked up at Rory. Her eyes were closed and her head leaned back. Her upper teeth was cutting into her lower lip as if to hold in any sounds she wanted to make. He slowly opened it, threading the button backwards through the hole and kissed her belly button.

Her eyes opened and looked down at him. Jess moved her top open more, just enough it was still on her shoulders but that he still got a pretty good look at her. "Jess?"

"Hmm?" He murmered.

"If I'm gonna be topless," she warned. "Then maybe we should be equal."

"I can agree with that," he whispered and leaned in to kiss her lips now.

The kiss was soft, gentle. His hands moved to cradle her face and her arms wrapped tighter around his neck. Rory felt his tongue and deepened it, touching his with her own. He groaned and moved his hands to her lower back and pulled her closer to him.

She broke the kiss first. Her hands went to the bottom of his T-shirt and curled it into a ball in her fist. Jess watched her as she made the decision to pull it over his head. Jess held his arms up for her then captured her lips back to his. Rory's hands held his back, her fingers trailing his back muscles. She liked the way they felt under her palm. As much as she had liked the way Jess felt in high school, she had to admit she very much liked how he felt now.

Jess backed them up enough that his legs hit the bed and Rory fell on top of him. She laughed for a second before his lips took hers again. His hands went to her shoulders and pushed the sleeves down. She wiggled out of her pajama shirt and his mouth left hers and trailed kisses down her chest again.

Her hands roamed his front now. They inched towards his belt, he still was wearing his clothes from the dinner. His mouth stilled, right next to her bra, as she undid the metal. Jess moved his hips up so she could take the belt off completely. Rory threw it on the ground, happy to be rid of it.

Next, Jess slid two fingers under each of her bra straps, peeling them off her skin. He slid each one down, kissing her shoulders in the process. His hands moved down to the bra cup and he pushed them as down as he could, kissing her there too. Rory closed her eyes again and once again bit her lip. She made a squeak when his tongue darted over her skin and left a delicious wet trail over her.

When she couldn't take anymore teasing, Rory reached her fingers behind her and undid her own bra. It fell from her and was quickly forgotten about.

...

Jess rolled over in his sleep and where he expected Rory to be was empty. He sat up and looked around for her. She was nowhere he could see so he pulled his boxers back on and started walking through the apartment. Rory sat on the couch, her legs curled up to her and she only wore the shirt he wore to the dinner the previous night.

"Ror?" He asked.

She looked over at him and a smile came to her face. "Hey."

"What are you doing up?" He walked to the couch and sat on the other side.

"Couldn't sleep," she said.

"Something wrong?" He asked. Jess was curious to what would keep her awake. In his opinion, they had an amazing night.

She shrugged. "Just thinking."

He sighed and put his hand on her bare knee. "Something must be bothering you."

"Its nothing," she told him. He gave her a look and Rory continued. "I'm thinking about Doula."

"Doula?" He asked then it clicked. "You're worried about leaving?"

"Not about leaving," she shook her head sadly. "About taking you with me."

"Why would that worry you?" He teased. "Afraid well grow tired of each other?"

"Was she right?" Rory asked.

He turned serious. He knew what she was asking about. "Yes."

"So I did break your heart?" She said with a humorless look on her face. "I always imagined I did but imagining is so much different than hearing your boyfriend's sister yell it, isn't it?"

"Why are you thinking about this?" He asked.

"Because I called my mom when I woke up," she sniffed. "She told me how both of us broke each other's hearts and how we love each other and the past doesn't matter."

"Well as much as the earth might explode when I say this," he replied. "But Lorelai's right."

"God, I know that," she groaned. "But why, if it doesn't matter so much, why does it always come back to haunt us? I mean, Jesus, Jess. Your sister even knows!"

"She doesn't know," he said much more sharply than he'd intended. He calmed his voice down once he realized how he sounded. "She just knows what I was like when I missed you."

"I leave tomorrow," she stated.

He felt the need to correct her. "We leave tomorrow."

"I think you should stay," she told him. "Spend time with Doula. I don't want to take you away from her."

"You're not," he stressed the word not. "If anything, you're bringing me closer."

"She hates me," Rory commented.

"No, she doesn't," Jess shook his head.

"She does," she nodded. "At least as your girlfriend, she does."

Jess inched closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Come on. Let's go back to bed. I'm sure once you sleep, you'll feel better."

"I did sleep," she said. "I mean, we even had sex. Yet these thoughts are all I can think no matter what I do."

"Sleep," he demanded. "For me."

He pulled her up from the couch, arms still around her and they walked back to the bed. "Jess?"

"Yeah?" He tucked her into the bed and crawled in himself on the other side.

"I really do want you to come," Rory moved herself to him and laid her head on his chest.

"Good," Jess smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Because I'm coming whether or not you want me to and if you said no, it might have gotten awkward."

Rory laughed and he felt his heart tighten. He hated seeing her curled on the couch looking so sad. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he whispered into her ear as he held her close to him. "And don't worry about earlier. Really. I talked to her and she's better about it now."

"You sure?" She asked.

He nodded into her hair. "I'm sure."

"Okay," she whispered then louder. "Okay."

"Rory?" Now he had a question to ask.

She snuggled closer. "Uh-huh?"

"Did you ever ask your mother what your grandmother said after dinner?"

"Oh, that," she laughed. "Apparently, Grandma asked her why Luke can't be more like you and send flowers."

Jess tried not to laugh. "Seriously?"

She laughed harder and nodded. "Mom got annoyed because Luke deals with so much from her and if all things, that's what she pointed out."

"So it wasn't about..." He trailed off.

"You and me?" She finished and felt him nod. "No. Unless Mom hid it from me which I don't think she did."

"That's a pretty funny one," he said. "And not even about us, not really."

"It is nice to not have her completely hate us together," she smiled.

"I wouldn't go that far," Jess kissed her hair and with one last laugh, Rory closed her eyes and went to sleep, snuggled into her

boyfriend's arms.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: To make up for not updating the last one quickly, I'm giving another chapter! I hope you like it and thank you so so much for all the reviews. I smile everytime I read them and you're all the best for sticking with me and this story.**

 **Flashbacks in this chapter are from the day of Liz's dinner in the previous chapter btw and texts are italics and underlined. Just in case it got confusing ;)**

"What about here?" Jess asked Rory as he slid a book onto her bookshelf.

It had been a week since they left Stars Hollow, after the dinner at Liz's. Jess followed Rory with only his baggage he brought with him. After four days, he went back to Philadelphia and packed his own bags. Chris asked him to look over the zine before leaving which resulted in him leaving a day later.

Rory walked over to him and shook her head. "No. That does not go there."

Jess turned to look at her. "Why not? You said I could put my books here, too."

"Not that book," she replied as she took For whom the bell tolls off the shelf. "And definitely not next to The Fountainhead."

"But they just want to get along," he teased.

"Nah-uh," Rory laughed. "Ayn doesn't like Ernest. He doesn't go there."

"But I have more in my bag," he told her. "Where will my collection go?"

"I'm resisting saying my answer," she lifted her head with a smug look.

Jess pretended to gasp in surprise. "That's cruel."

"You don't even know what I'm thinking," she laughed.

"I know that look," he pointed at her.

She feigned innocence. "What look?"

"The Ernest-makes-me-want-to-sleep look," he accused.

Rory widened her eyes. "How do you know that look?"

He gave her his own look. "Because I know you."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "You don't know my looks."

"Please," Jess scoffed jokingly. "I've spent a lot of time looking at you. I think I know what each look looks like by now."

"And you were really looking at my face each time?" She countered.

"All right, good point," he said which made Rory laugh. "But most of the time, I was."

"Please," she mirrored his tone from a minute ago. "You were checking me out, not remembering my expressions."

"I can neither confirm or deny," he replied.

Rory hit him playfully on the chest and Jess put his arms around her. His hands rested on her bottom. "And what exactly are you doing now?"

"Well, you pointed out I spent so much time looking at you," Jess explained. "I decided maybe I should put better use to that time now that I have you."

"Is this your way of winning the conversation?" She whispered. As soon as his hands were on her, the whole conversation was the last thing on her mind if she was bring honest.

Jess smirked at her. "Oh, I think I've already won."

"Really?" Her voice rose back to normal volume. "And what makes you think that?"

His smirk just grew. "I finally have you."

"You had me before," she pointed out.

"Yeah but I was stupid then," he shrugged. "I like to think I'm smarter now and that I can keep you this time."

"Wow," she said, a thrill shot through her at his words. "Cocky, too, huh?"

"Come on," he held his face inches away from hers. She could feel his breath. "You know its true."

"I don't," she grinned. "But, you know, you could try to convince me."

Jess leaned closer and right when she thought he would kiss her, he pulled away. "Nah."

"What?" She asked then exclaimed. "You're such a tease!"

He just laughed. "Oh, I definitely have you now."

She smacked him again and made a face. "Maybe you want to sleep on the couch tonight."

"You know you'll just come out and ask me to stay with you if that happens," he grinned at her widely.

"I won't," Rory tried to back up out of his hands to prove her point but his hands just held her tighter. It made her not want to move anyway.

"Okay," he removed his hands then and backed up himself.

She bit her lip and looked at him. He was teasing her, that she knew. He was also waiting for her response.

"Oh, fuck it," she muttered and wrapped her arms around him. Lips crashed together as his arms went around her, too.

He pulled away. "Does this mean Hemingway goes next to Rand on the shelf?"

She laughed. "Oh, shut up."

He laughed with her and kissed her again, quickly having shut down any conversation.

...

 _Jess waited as the line rang. He didn't particularly want to have this conversation but he knew he needed to have it. It rang one more time and a voice answered on the other side. "Truncheon books. Matt speaking. How can I help you?"_

 _"Its Jess," he told his friend._

 _"Jess," Matt said almost coldly. "What's up?"_

 _"I actually have a question to ask you," he sighed._

 _"Yeah?" He asked. "What's that? How dare I care about my friend and how this girl is gonna kill you again?"_

 _"She didn't kill me," Jess defended._

 _"That's not the way I remember it," Matt pointed out._

 _Jess sighed again and put his hands over his eyes. He uncovered them in seconds. "This isn't why I'm calling, man."_

 _"Okay," Matt said in surrender. "Fine. I'll stop. What's your question?"_

 _"Do you think I could work from somewhere else again?" He asked. "I know I just got back not too long ago but I kinda need a favor."_

 _"Okay," Matt agreed. "Where? Stars Hollow again?"_

 _"New York city, actually," Jess told him._

 _"New York?" He asked. "What's in - oh."_

 _"Yeah," Jess said._

 _"She's there?"_

 _"Yep."_

 _"Jess."_

 _"Don't say a word."_

 _"You're going with her?" He questioned. Jess was silent so he asked another one. "Why?"_

 _"Because I want to be with her," he simply answered._

 _"Oh, man," Matt sighed. "This is gonna end badly. You know that, right? Please tell me you know that."_

 _"No, I don't know that," Jess gritted his teeth. "But please, tell me how you know more about my relationship than me. Especially when you've only met Rory barely twice."_

 _"I saw you after the open house!" He shout-whispered. "Are you really that stupid to want to go through that again?"_

 _"First of all," Jess said angerily. "The open house - it's the past. If I ever hear you mention it around me or especially Rory, I'm gonna kick your ass, got it?"_

 _"Fine," Matt replied. "What else?"_

 _He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Second is you don't get a say in this. I don't give a shit we're friends. I know you think you're being a good friend and fuck, maybe you're right even. But this is happening. We're together so either keep it to yourself or we're only coworkers from now on."_

 _Matt was quiet on the other end. Jess heard his breathing so he knew he was still there. Finally, Matt talked again. "Okay. All right."_

 _"Seriously?"_

 _"Seriously."_

 _"So I'm going," Jess told him. "And you know why I am."_

 _"Yeah, I do," Matt agreed. "Doesn't mean I like it...but I'll try to keep my mouth shut."_

 _"First time for everything, right?" Jess smirked._

 _Matt laughed for the first time during the whole phone call. "I guess so."_

 _"I'll come in a few days," he told him. "Grab some stuff, Garret's book. But she's leaving tomorrow and I plan on going with her when she does."_

 _"All right," He agreed. "Just watch out. I know you don't think you need to but do it anyway."_

 _"I will," he shuffled his feet as he stared down at them._

 _Matt sighed. "And I'll tell Chris. He's definitely going to be fine with it if I am. He is on your side, after all. Even yelled at me for what I said to you."_

 _"Good," Jess smirked. "Remind me to thank him."_

 _"Sure thing," he said sarcastically._

...

"Hey Luke," Jess said when he answered his cell phone.

"Jess," Luke said. "How's new York?"

"Good," he nodded. "The same as I remember."

"And Rory?" He asked.

"Doesn't Lorelai know how she is?" Jess asked. "Or are you just looking for info?"

"Lorelai tells me nothing," he said. "She just grins and says how she talked to Rory."

"Because that doesn't sound suspicious," Jess answered in a sarcastic tone. "Rory's good, too."

"Good," Luke said. "So you two are..."

Jess smirked. "Are you asking about sleeping arrangements, Uncle Luke? Because, I got to say, I'm a little surprised."

"What?" Luke made a noise. "No! That's not what I'm asking about!"

"You sure?" He teased.

"No!" Jess imagined the shade of red Luke would turn as he yelled and had to resist a laugh. "What I was gonna say was you two, you're pretty serious this time, aren't you?"

Jess nodded. "Yeah. We are."

"Wow."

"Wow what?"

"Nothing," he said. "Just you and Rory, back together. Who would have guessed after all this time, right?"

"Not me," Jess said honestly. "I kinda always thought I missed that chance for good, you know?"

"Yeah, I do," Luke said. "That's exactly how I felt when I found out Lorelai married Christopher."

"Yeah," he whispered then his voice got more volume as a smirk grew on his face. "I guess we each had our own rich pricks to deal with, huh?"

"I guess so," Luke almost laughed. "Hey, Jess?"

"Yeah?" He asked.

"I'm glad...about you and Rory," he told him in a serious voice. "I always kind of hoped you two would find your way back. Kinda like...well, like me and Lorelai."

"So we're the younger version of you two," he nodded. "Huh."

"That just sounds weird when you say it like that," Luke pointed out.

"Not as weird as when people point out me and Rory are cousins," Jess cringed.

Luke sounded like he cringed himself on the other end. "That's..."

"Yep," he agreed.

"Moving on," the older man said. "Thanksgiving is next month. Lorelai was wondering if you were gonna come."

"When's she due?" Jess found himself asking.

"January," Luke sighed. "Don't you and Rory talk? You know what? Never mind."

"We talk," he shrugged. "But saying her mother is gonna have my uncle's baby sounds a little weird when put like that, don't you think?"

"So don't put it like that," he hissed sarcastically. Jess wanted to laugh that he was even able to do that.

"Yes, sir," Jess chuckled.

"Sometimes, its hard for me to forget you're not that same smart-ass kid anymore," Luke mused.

Jess didn't comment on that. It was one of his fears to be that way again and though Luke only meant it as teasing, he couldn't help but remember what he was like when and what he'd done. Instead, he went back on-topic. "We should be there, Luke."

"We?" He asked. "You and Rory are gonna come down together?"

"I have to tell her first," he replied. "But, yeah. We should be."

"Okay, good," he agreed. "We'll... We'll talk later, all right?"

"Yeah," Jess agreed. "Definitely."

They hung up the phone and Jess looked around him. He sat in Washington Square Park as he thought of what this place had once meant to him. He had forgotten how much he loved New York. Rory was at work and he missed her, that was a big part of why he came here, too. It was one of their places.

Jess scrolled on his phone through the pictures. There was some shots he got of Rory in the past week when she wasn't looking. He had called them revenge for the ones she took of him on her own phone.

The time read 1:15 pm and he sighed. Usually Rory had a lunch break soon so he considered surprising her. He sent a quick text to her just in case.

 _Lunch?_

 _Still working :(_

 _I'll come to you ;)_

 _Give me twenty minutes ;)_

 _Kay. I got to get back anyway._

 _Where are you?_

 _Our park of course._

 _NO! We were gonna go together!_

 _Sorry. Got bored :)_

 _Fine. Be here in twenty minutes okay?_

 _Okay._

He shoved his phone back into his pocket and stuffed his hands inside after. Jess began a walk through the park as he left behind the bench he had been sitting on when Rory came up behind him thirteen years earlier.

...

 _Lorelai walked behind Rory, looking down at the paper in front of her daughter. There was a snickering sound from behind Rory which made her look up. "What's so funny?"_

 _"Have you seen what you're writing?" Lorelai asked._

 _"Obviously I have if I'm writing it," she answered then looked down at the paper in front of her. "What's so funny about it?"_

 _"Its a pro/con list," the older woman pointed out. "I can't even remember the last time I saw you make one of these."_

 _Rory remembered the last time she made one, though. It was right after the doctor called to confirm her pregnancy. She was trying to figure out how much money for baby and how long maternity leave should be. "It has been a while."_

 _Lorelai sat next to her at their table. "So what's this one for? Anything I can help with?"_

 _"It's Jess," she told her mother. "He said something earlier."_

 _"Please do not tell me the kinky things he says to you," Lorelai pleaded._

 _Rory rolled her eyes and went on what she wanted to say. "Jess wants to come to New York with me."_

 _"Yes," she nodded. "I knew this."_

 _"I'm making it about him coming with me," Rory explained. "I love him so much, Mom. But I can't make him do this for the wrong reasons."_

 _"Do you really think if you decide something," she started, "that youre making him do it?"_

 _"No," she shook her head. "He wouldn't listen to me."_

 _"So there," Lorelai tapped her daughter's hand. "Think of it as incredibly romantic."_

 _"It is pretty romantic, isn't it?" Rory smiled._

 _"Very," Lorelai nodded. "Besides, do you really think he would move there without any wanting to?"_

 _"New York was his home for seventeen years," Rory defended. "He could want to go back."_

 _"Or he could want to be with his gjrlfriend," Lorelai told her. "It's funny how of the two of us, I'm the one defending Jess' actions and you're in doubt."_

 _"I'm not in doubt," Rory pouted then sighed. "Okay, I am. But its only because I don't want him regret this."_

 _"Do you think he'd regret being with you?"_

 _"No, but -"_

 _"Do you think you'll regret being with him?"_

 _"No, Mom -"_

 _"Then thats it," Lorelai told her. She grabbed the paper toward herself and out of Rory's grasp._

 _Rory protested, "What are you doing?"_

 _Lorelai crossed out the whole con side of the columns. "You're making me defend Jess right now which might not be as weird as it once would be, but here it is. That man loves you. He has always loved you. He wants to come with you to be with you and because he's tired of missing you."_

 _"You really think so?" She asked with a hopeful smile._

 _"Yeah, kid." She smiled back. "I do."_

 _Rory's smile grew. "Thanks, mom."_

 _"However, if you end up on a situation like me," she pointed out. "I will be angry."_

 _"What does that mean?" Rory asked then made a face. "You think I'm gonna get pregnant?"_

 _"I think its very possible," she made her own face._

 _Rory threw the paper at her. "Oh my god!"_

 _"What?" Lorelai said innocently. "Like you two aren't doing things that could result in that!"_

 _She ripped off another piece of paper just to throw it at her. Lorelai held her hands up to block it. They both laughed as Lorelai flicked it back at Rory like a football._

...

Rory walked outside into the cool early October breeze. She tugged on her jacket and buttoned it up. When she looked up, she saw familiar brown eyes and a crooked smile she would know anywhere. "Hey."

"Hey," she smiled.

It wasn't until seeing him right there that she truly understood how much she missed him. Rory leaned in and kissed him happily, letting her lips tell him how much she did. He responded just as eagerly and when it ended, he asked, "What's that for? Not that I'm complaining."

"Just wanted to," she grinned as she said the words he said to her so long ago, before their first kiss.

Jess wrapped an arm around her and they began their walk to a coffee shop down the street. "How's work?"

"Hectic," she laughed. "And lonely. Its much better now."

"I agree," he kissed her hair.

Rory smiled brighter. She couldn't remember the last time she was truly happy like this. She tried to remember when she felt this excited about a lunch date or when Logan came around but there was nothing. The last time she thought of real and total happiness...was at Kyle's party, before...everything bad that happened that night.

"Jess?" She asked.

He looked down at her as they walked. "Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're here," she told him honestly.

"Me too," he smiled. "There's nowhere else I want to be."

"Me, either," Rory replied. They walked to the door of the coffee shop and before she slid inside while he held the door, she thought to herself, Me, either.

A/N: I told you it would get to the birth of Luke and Lorelai's new baby and it WILL. I'm moving at snail's pace but it will get there so if it seems like its fast because thanksgiving is a month away in the fic, its only because for every chapters based on one day, I try to make up for it later. But I hope you like it and I'm desperately trying to update as good as I used yo. I miss writing this more often but what can you do when life happens right? Don't worry, I intend to see this out til the end and I will but just be patient that the updates might be slower than used to.

And once again, thank you for all the reviews! You have no idea how happy they make me to read, okay? You're all blessings and thank you for being here and telling me your thoughts!

Ps I have headcanon where lit texts without using abbreviations since they're Literary fans and would want to write all formal even when texting lol


	30. Chapter 30

Rory nudged Jess' foot with her own, the coldness of her bare feet surprised his. He flinched away for a second before he moved his foot back and her foot went back into position on top of his. "Hey, Jess?"

"Hmm?" He murmered. His eyes were closed and he laid on his back. Rory laid beside him as her fingers traced lazy circles on his bare chest.

"We missed our one month anniversary," she told him.

One eye opened and looked down at his girlfriend. "We did?"

She nodded. "We should still celebrate. Can we?"

"Of course," he nodded too and closed his eyes again.

"Jess," she extended his name and leaned closer to him.

He laughed at her effort. "Yes?"

"Let's make a plan," she pleaded. "Pick something to do."

"Oh I can think of something to do," he smirked and raised an eyebrow at Rory. Both of his eyes were open now and she shifted under his stare.

Rory's cheeks reddened. "Besides that."

Jess shrugged and put his arm around her. "Well, if there's no that, just pick something and I'll be there."

"I didn't say there's no that," her cheeks deepened even more.

"Huh," he reached out his index finger and swept it across her cheek. "Then maybe you can persuade me."

"Be serious," she asked. "Let's do something tomorrow, make a day out of it."

"Nothing work-related tomorrow?" He asked her.

Rory shook her head. "Nope. I'm all yours, Mariano."

"I'll say," he smirked and kissed her quick. "Just pick something to do. Whatever you want, we'll do."

"I want you to do something you want to do," she smiled at him. Jess gave her a look that told her what he wanted to do and she ducked to hide her flush.

He shrugged again. "I don't care what we do, Rory. As long as I'm with you, it doesn't matter what we do."

"Aww," she smiled bigger and kissed him again. "But really. The first time we were together, you followed with things I wanted to do so come on."

"Really," he said. "I don't mind whatever you want to do."

"So if it was a toss-up between last night and a big, giant bookstore?" She teased.

"Hmm," he smirked. "Can it be last night in a bookstore?"

Rory hit his chest with her palm as her face grew red. "Jess!"

"You asked!" He laughed.

She playfully hit him again and he held her hands when she did so. Jess kissed her then, officially ending the conversation and he felt a thrill at the success. Rory wouldn't ask anything else for a while.

...

Rory typed on her computer at work, fact checking and making sure her article was perfect. Her phone vibrated then chimed and after a few seconds - she had to finish her sentence - she looked down at it. She had expected either her mom or Jess to leave her a message but the name she saw surprised her. It was her dad.

To say they got along was a lie. Ever since years ago, when Rory's parents were married for a brief time, her and her father had grew apart. They were never particularly close to begin with but it seemed like Christopher learning he and Lorelai were over for good meant he believed he and Rory's relationship was over as well.

Back then, she tried everything to try to make it not affect her. It had been hard and if she was being honest with herself, she had forgotten about him. Rory did however miss her sister. She checked her phone to see what message he left.

"Hey Rory!" Christopher's voice exclaimed excitedly. "Its me. Dad. I have fantastic news to tell you! I'm coming to New York this week and I was hoping me and you could get dinner. I've really missed you, sweetheart and I really hope I can see you. Call me back and let me know, all right?"

The message ended and she sighed. Christopher Hayden was going to be here, in New York? She quickly texted Jess and went back to the screen in front of her. Two minutes later, she a response: _Shit_.

She smiled at the word. Jess knew everything about her history with her father. The first time around they hadn't shared as much as they should have but this time was different. Rory filled him in on it all and Jess had actually opened up about his dad. There wasn't much to tell. He told her what he was like, Sasha, Lily. Jess even told her about the dogs. They also keep a ounce of contact when they called each other to say Merry Christmas each year.

She texted him back : _Exactly_.

"Gilmore!"

Rory looked up to see her boss, Leslie Hartley, stood over her desk. "Yes?"

"Come into my office, will you?" She asked.

Rory nodded and followed behind her. Leslie walked her into her office and motioned for Rory to sit down. Rory sat and waited for the expected no personal phone lecture she had heard her co-workers get before.

"Something interesting has happened," Leslie told her. "There's a girl who interviewed for an out of state newspaper my brother works at."

"Okay," she said. Rory wasn't sure what this had to do with her.

"She used to work at bookstores," Leslie continued. "We've decided to hire her as a reviewer of independent novels and we'd like you to help her out around here."

"Of course," Rory agreed.

Leslie handed her a folder and Rory opened it up to see a pretty blonde, around her age and a profile on her. She wondered what her own profile looked like. "This is her. You should get an idea of who she is."

"Yes," Rory agreed. "Thank you."

"Now," her boss smiled softly with a stern look in her eyes. "Back to work. You have am article to finish."

"Yes, sir," Rory nodded with a smile.

She got up to leave with the folder in hand when Leslie called her again. Rory turned back to her. "And, Gilmore, hide the phone."

Rory nodded and walked out of the office.

...

Jess threw his bag down on the floor of the apartment. He just had a meeting with an author who lives in New York City. Chris had requested he talk to them and see if the guy would want to be published at Truncheon. Though he had to admit the guy kind of got on his nerves even if his writing was pretty good.

He grabbed a beer he had stocked in Rory's fridge and sat on the couch. There was no new messages, none from either Rory or Luke. It was a bit weird. Instead of wondering about why they hadn't called, he made a different call.

"Hello?" A young voice asked on the other side.

"Hey, Doula," Jess smiled.

"Jess?" She asked. "You're calling here?"

"I am," he agreed. "And I would have hung up if your dad answered so consider yourself lucky."

She laughed. "I guess I am lucky I picked up the phone. Did you want to talk to Mom?"

"I called for you," he told her. "I wanted to make sure we were still all right."

"We're all right," she whispered. "I just miss you."

"I'll come see you," he told her. "I promise."

"When?" She asked.

Jess sighed. "I...I don't know when exactly."

Doula was silent than she whispered, "Because of Rory?"

"Not only her," he admitted honestly. "I'm doing work here, too. I even just came back from a meeting."

"But you work in Philadelphia," she said. "How can you have meetings in New York?"

Jess laughed. "Because there's authors everywhere, silly."

"So its more than just some kind of dating-moon?" She questioned her brother. "You could actually stay there."

"Dating-moon," he said skeptically. "I don't know what that is."

"Its like a honeymoon but you're not married," Doula explained.

"Oh," he tried to not laugh but was having quite a struggle at that.

"Is it serious?" She asked.

Jess stopped laughing and cleared his throat. "Yeah. Its serious."

"How serious?" Doula continued. "Are you gonna marry her?"

"Whoa," he replied. "Slow down. We're not even back together that long."

"Do you want to marry her?" She asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Maybe. One day."

Another silence in the other end. He heard a sigh then Doula's voice. "Really?"

"I've never really thought about marriage," Jess confided. "But...I guess if there was anyone I would...think about it with, it would be her."

"Oh," she said sadly.

"You're worrying over nothing," he said with a small laugh. "Even if I did ever propose to Rory, who's to say she'd say yes anyway?"

"She'd say yes," Doula confirmed.

"And what makes you so sure?" He asked.

"I saw the way she looks at you," she said. "You don't look at someone like that if you don't love them enough to stay with them."

"That's probably true," he nodded in agreement. Jess didn't really know what to make of her observation. He wasn't exactly sure if he could believe it just in case it wasn't true, either.

"Remember how wise I am," she said.

He grinned. "How could I forget?"

"Forget what?" A familiar voice asked.

Jess turned around in his seat on the couch and his grin turned into a full-blown smile when he saw Rory standing there in front of the door. She smiled back brightly. Her eyes shined and he almost forgot he was even on the phone with his sister.

"How wise Doula is," he answered and he heard a laugh on the other end of the line.

Rory nodded, her smile still in place. "That should be obvious to anyone who knows her."

"She agrees with you," Jess said into the phone, to Doula.

"Told you I'm wise," Doula replied.

He scoffed jokingly. "I think I told you first."

"Fine," she caved. "So Rory's there?"

"Yep," he agreed. He still hadn't turned around, his eyes glued to his girlfriend.

"Go," she urged. "Do...whatever you two usually do. I'll let you go."

"You don't have to do that," he said as he finally turned around. Rory almost pouted. Her eyes were glued to him as well.

"It's okay," she told him. "Go be a boyfriend. I'll be around for brother mode."

"You sure?" He asked.

"Positive," she said.

He nodded and they both hung up their phones. Rory took off her jacket and put it on the hook. Jess jumped over the couch and rushed over to her. He placed a lingering kiss on her lips and smirked when he pulled away - her eyes stayed closed.

"Well hello to you, too," she smiled when her eyes opened.

"Hello," he smirked. "How was work?"

"Good," she nodded. "My boss wants me to help some new hire out."

"Oh?" He said. "Is that something they normally do?"

Rory shook her head and they walked back to where he was seated just seconds before. "I'm not sure. But I guess so. I've just never done it."

"This is good, right?" He put his arm around her.

"I guess so," she took his beer and took a sip. "I'm not really good at training people."

He laughed. "I can't imagine you being bad at anything."

"Sophmore year at Yale," she started. "I was supposed to be watching this girl from Chilton. And I lost her."

Jess laughed so hard. He noticed Rory's expression and saw she was serious. "That really happened? You lost a high schooler at Yale?"

"Charleston called me when they found her," she cringed.

"Well, I don't think you're gonna lose this girl," he kissed her forehead. "Neither of you are students anymore to start with."

"Right," she agreed. "But what if I mess up?"

"Then you'll find a way to fix it," he said honestly. "What's this about anyway? Why are you doubting yourself?"

"I'm not," she defended.

"You are," he stared at her. Rory turned her head from under his gaze. "This is about your dad calling, isn't it?"

"Maybe," she sighed. "He never calls anymore so why now?"

"Maybe he heard we're back together," Jess teased. "He wanted to tell you dating the hoodlum who got you into the car accident would be a mistake."

Rory scoffed. "More like talking to him would be the mistake."

"So don't talk to him," he shrugged.

"He's gonna be here," Rory explained. She hadn't told Jess more than Christopher called her. "In the city this week."

"Shit," he said and took the bottle out of Rory's small hands and drank some for himself. "So what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know," she answered and she really didn't know. "He wants to get dinner but all I want is to stay with you in my free time."

"So I'll come," he shrugged as if it was the most simple solution.

Rory stared at Jess for a moment before speaking again. "You're serious."

"As I can be," he said.

"I can't ask you to do that," she said though she really did want to ask him to do that now that he suggested it.

"Ask me," he instructed.

"My dad..." She sighed. "He's not the greatest guy and he doesn't like you from what he knows of you."

"My mom wasn't the greatest either and you know her," Jess countered.

"That's different," she said. "I met her before we were even friends again. That couldn't be helped as long as I had Luke. You can escape this."

"Maybe I don't wanna," he stared right into her eyes seriously.

She stared back. "You're serious?"

"You keep saying that," he laughed.

Rory shook her head surprised. "Jess. You really want to go to dinner with me and my dad?"

"Yeah, why not?" He said. "I'll get the time with you instead of hours apart and I'll get to start working on changing his mind about me."

Rory smiled brightly and leaned over. Jess wrapped his arms around her back to hug her back. "I love you, Jess Mariano."

"You better," he smirked.

She smiled still and got off of him as she grabbed her phone. "I'm gonna call him now."

Jess watched her happily go into her -their - bedroom and close the door. His smile faded as he started to worry how the hell he would manage a meet the father dinner, especially with Rory's father of all people.

...

When she hung up the phone, she wasn't as happy as she was before she dialed. He watched her come back and instead of sitting where she was, Rory sank into the single sofa.

"What is it?" Jess asked. "He doesn't want me come?"

"Oh, the opposite, actually," Rory answered. "He's thrilled to officially meet you."

"Then what is it?" He kept going.

She sighed. "He wants dinner be tomorrow night."

"Oh," he understood. They were gonna celebrate their one month anniversary tomorrow.

"He says tonight is too late but he wants dinner as soon as possible," she grumbled.

"So we go tomorrow night," he shrugged.

"I wanted to be alone with you," she admitted.

"We'll be alone before and after," he said. Jess stood up and went to sit by her.

"Promise?" She asked.

Jess nodded. "Promise."

She smiled a little one and he lifted her off the seat only to sit there himself and rest her in his lap. "We can always find other ways to celebrate."

He raised his eyebrows at her and smirked. Rory blushed and he understood completely. "Rory Gilmore, did you just suggest improper thoughts?"

"Maybe," she gave him her own smirk.

"Well in that case..." Rory squealed as Jess picked her up again off his lap and carried her into the bedroom.

...

The next day came quickly. Rory woke Jess up to the smell of coffee and he laughed when she asked him to make her breakfast. He made her French toast after five minutes of puppy blue eyes she gave him. Rory smiled triumphantly once they were finished.

"You really want to see my dad?" She asked him as she poured syrup on her food.

Jess nodded. "Yeah. I never actually meant the guy to be honest so I should."

She smiled at him and swallowed a piece of her food. "I love you just for wanting to come. So I'm going to apologize in advance for my father."

He laughed. "You really think its gonna be that bad?"

"I think my dad is protective at times," Rory admitted. "He's not even around much and then when he is, I kind of want him to go back away. And I think he still remembers you as the guy who fractured his daughter's wrist."

"I'll just have to be my usual charming self," he smirked. "That should win him over."

Rory gave him a look that could compete with her withering stare. "That might not work."

"Oh, come on," he laughed. "You don't have to sound so doomed about it. He can't hate me any more than he does already."

"Oh, you'd think that," she said. "My dad holds grudges."

Jess leaned forward over the table, pushing his plate slightly out of the way. "Do you not want me come with you?"

Her face fell. "No. God, no. That's not what I want at all."

"Then what?" He asked. "It doesn't really seem like you want me meet him."

"Its not that I don't want you meet him," she leaned over too and rested her hand on top of his. "Its just...he's my dad and I love him but sometimes..."

"You hate him?" Jess finished for her.

Rory nodded. "And I feel terrible about it. But I also feel like he's gonna be rude to you about the past and I really don't want that to happen."

"I'm a big boy, Rory," he said seriously. "If he says anything like that, I'll tell him he's wrong."

"And what if he fights with you?" She asked.

Jess shrugged. "I will politely correct him so I'm not the one starting a fight."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "That sounds possible."

"Hey, I'm a changed man," he grinned. "I can hold my own to your father."

"Okay," she stopped her laughter. "I will not doubt you or your ability to stay calm."

"As you shouldn't," Jess said. He moved his plate back to directly in front of him but looked up with a thoughtful look on his face. "I figured out what I want to do today."

Rory smiled brightly. "Tell me."

He gave her a smirk and told her of his plan.

...

They spent almost the whole day in Washington Square Park. Rory packed a picnic and brought a blanket. Jess brought books and they stretched out on the blanket. They ate, they talked, they even read to each other. Rory never had a better day, she thought.

Around 3pm, Jess gathered up their stuff and packed it away. Rory stood and watched him. "What time is dinner with your dad?"

"Um, I think 7," she answered. "I should call him to make sure."

Jess nodded. "We still have a few hours to go."

"What do you want to do until then?" Rory crossed her arms. Jess was done packing everything, even the books were in the picnic basket. She smiled as she remembered their technical first date so many years ago.

"This was my big idea," he stood up too and took her hand in his free one.

"You mean there's nothing else you want to?" She questioned as they walked away from their spot in the grass.

"Oh, I can think of a few things I want to do," he smirked and looked

at her, which caused Rory to blush.

She playfully hit his arm with her own free one. "Is that all you think about?"

"Maybe," his smirk seemed to answer yes, though.

"Oh my god," Rory blushed deeper and ducked her head.

"Take it as a compliment," he whispered to her. She looked at him and he wanted to laugh at her red cheeks. "Like you don't want to do that most of the time?"

"I didn't say that," she smiled small as she looked down at their interlocked hands. "But I'm not always the one suggesting it, either."

"You mean to tell me that after all this time, we finally reach _that_ step," he smirked with a whisper. "And you're not thinking what I am?"

"Let's say I am," she whispered back. "Let's say I suggest we go back to my apartment and celebrate for a couple of hours then get ready for dinner."

Jess grinned down at Rory. "Then let's say we head back home as fast as possible."

She smiled at his use of the word home. Rory could definitely get used to that. "That sounds like a good idea."

Jess laughed and kissed her hair as he took his hand out of hers and wrapped his arm around her. Rory cuddled into his chest and smiled brightly. "Then let's go home."

 **A/N: This chapter was originally going to have the dinner with Christopher in it but then the chapter got longer than expected and I really wanted to get another chapter up sooner rather later. So the next chapter will have the dinner and I really love writing domestic lit in NYC. I really hope you all like it too.**


	31. Chapter 31

"Can you zip me up?" Rory asked as she tried to look at herself in the mirror.

Jess walked over to her and a smile tugged at his lips. "Sure."

She noticed the smile in the mirror and smiled herself. "What's that for?"

"Nothing," he shrugged as he finished zipping the dress up. "Just this is usually the other way around now, isn't it?"

Rory blushed and moved her hair from her right. She spread it out over her shoulders while Jess stayed behind her and watched. "How do I look?"

He nodded appreciatedly. "Sexy."

"I don't think sexy is the look I'm going for to dinner with my father," she turned around and faced him.

"That's too bad," Jess teased and put his hands on her hips. "Because, Rory Gilmore, you are always sexy."

She rolled her eyes while hiding her blush. "You're such a suck-up."

"What am I sucking up for?" He asked innocently.

"I'm not sure," she laughed and kissed him quick. "But there's got to be something."

"Can't I compliment my girlfriend without having an ulterior motive?" Jess asked.

"Depends," she pretended to think about it. "Was there ever a time you didn't have ulterior motives?"

He nuzzled his nose against hers back and forth. "With you."

Rory smiled softly. "I think you've gotten cheesier with age, Mariano."

"Don't tell," he held a finger over his mouth in a ssh gesture.

"Never," she nodded then gasped. "Oh my god!"

Stunned by her sudden change in tone, Jess dropped his hands from her and backed up. "What? What's wrong?"

"My dad's gonna know we're sleeping together!" She half-yelled.

"What?" Now Jess laughed. "How?"

"Because!" She held her arms out. "We're living together!"

"So?" He still laughed.

"Jess!" She whined which made him laugh more. "This is technically your first impression! And your first impression is living with his daughter which ultimately means sleeping with his daughter!"

Jess stopped his laughter and walked back to her, this time placing his hands on her shoulders. "Ror. Look at me."

She did as she was asked. "What?"

"Your dad is gonna form whatever opinion of me that he is going to," Jess told her. "Whether its because of a car accident thirteen years ago or that I've seen you naked, I doubt there's much you can do to change it."

"I know," she groaned. "But it feels like we're adding fuel to the fire, doesn't it?"

He shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I don't really meet fathers."

"What about the other girl?" She found herself asking.

"What other girl?" Jess asked.

"When we were at your mom's," she started then took a breath. "Doula may have mentioned you having a serious relationship."

"Oh," he sighed and dropped his hands.

"Not that I expected you to not date anyone," she corrected. "I mean, high school was a long time ago and I would be a huge hypocrite to judge. But I...I was curious."

"Yeah, I met her parents," he admitted. "The one and only time besides you."

Rory nodded. "So it...it was serious then?"

"It was," he nodded.

"How long were you two together?" She asked. Her curiosity was peaked and she wanted to know more about this girl and their relationship.

"A few years," he shrugged. "On and off."

"You loved her?" She bit her lip , afraid of his answer.

"Why are you asking all these questions?" He asked playfully. There was a tightness around his eyes that said he didn't want to talk about it and it was obvious he was trying to tease her out of the topic.

"I don't know," she replied. "You met her parents. You were together for years. You must have loved her."

"I loved her," he said and Rory looked over at him. "I met her parents and we were together for a while. But you're missing something, Ror."

"What's that?" She whispered.

"See, she knows about you," Jess explained. "And you wanna know what happened after I told her about you?"

She nodded slowly. "What happened?"

"She broke up with me," Jess smirked with no real hint of amusement.

Rory's eyes looked right into Jess'. "What?"

Jess walked closer to her again. He hadn't realized how far apart they'd been standing since he dropped his hands. "She said I was still in love with you, said it didn't matter you were married. That in my head it wasn't over and she couldn't be with me while I still hadn't had closure."

"Oh," she once again whispered. "And now?"

"And now what?"

"Is there closure?"

Jess laughed for real this time. "Does this seem like closure to you?"

Before Rory can reply, Jess kissed her deeply. His hands were on both sides of her face and her hands moved to his back. She gripped him to her as he backed her up. Rory's back hit the wall beside the mirror she had been standing in front of and he pulled away. Both of their eyes were still closed seconds later.

"No," she answered as she opened her eyes. "No, it doesn't."

"Because it's not," he explained. "I love you. I've always loved you. I'm not with you because I need to be in order to get over you."

"That's good to know," she smiled.

"And you're not?" He asked, now needing the reassurance.

"I'm not," she confirmed. "I'm all in, too."

Jess smiled too. "Good to know."

There was a knocking on the door that caused them both to look in that direction. "My dad."

"Right," he nodded and started to move away from her but her hand caught his wrist.

Rory kissed him sweetly on the lips. "Thank you. For dealing with my crazy wondering."

He shrugged with a playful smile. "Its nothing."

On her way to the door, she fixed her dress just in case it looked obvious she had been leaning against a wall while kissing her boyfriend. Rory took a deep breath and opened the door.

Christopher Hayden smiled brightly at her on the other side. "Hey, kiddo!"

"Hi, Dad," she smiled as he went to hug her. Rory hugged him back and hoped she hadn't scared Jess out of dinner with her impromptu questioning. "How do you like New York?"

"It's nice," he said. "I'm not used to it but I've lived in cities before to not be completely blindsided by it."

"That's true," she laughed.

She heard footsteps behind her and a smile grew on her face, one that Christopher had noticed. He looked at the dark-haired man behind his daughter and stepped closer. "You must be Jess."

"That'd be me," he nodded and held out his hand for him to shake.

The older man took his hand and shook it. "Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you over the years."

"I've grown up, I swear," Jess put his hands up in surrender once it was released.

Christopher laughed. "That's definitely good to hear."

"Dad?" Rory asked. "We should probably go right? You said there's reservations."

"Right, right," he agreed. "I have a cab downstairs waiting."

He led the two of then out. Jess slid his hand into Rory's and she smiled. She gave it a small squeeze as he locked the door behind them which was hard one handed so she let his go. Once finished, they linked their hands together again and walked to the cab.

...

"So you wrote a book?" Christopher asked Jess after the waiter took their orders.

"Three, actually," Rory cut in before her boyfriend could answer.

"Wow," her father turned to her. "And how are they? You've read them?"

"I have," she beamed brightly. "They're amazing. Jess has such good talent but I always knew that."

"You said I had potential," he teased.

"Which you've proven," she pointed out. "So you're welcome."

Christopher watched them interact, he watched as Rory smiled big at the man beside her or as Jess would touch her hand. He wondered just how serious this was and why it had taken so long for them to meet.

"I'm actually writing something new," Jess took a sip of his drink.

"Oh?" Christopher asked. "What's it about?"

Rory looked at her boyfriend eagerly, wondering the exact same thing. Jess kept a poker face. "Its a surprise."

"What?" She gasped. "No!"

Jess laughed at her. "You'll find out when everyone else does."

She pouted at him and drank some of her water to hide it. "Fine. Be like that."

"So, Jess," Christopher interrupted. "I hear you got your GED?"

"Yes, I did," he nodded. "I actually got it right here in the city."

"You did?" Rory asked. "I thought you just got it in -"

"No," he shakes his head. "I did it, after I came to see you."

The older man at the table cleared his throat. "So you didn't graduate or you left early?"

"Dad," Rory warned.

He ignored her and Jess answered. "I didn't graduate. I missed a lot of my senior year and wasn't gonna make it up without retaking the whole year."

"Why not just make up the year?" He prodded.

"Didn't want to," Jess shrugged. "I never really liked school and I learned better on my own."

"But you left, right?" He kept going. "Why not just get your GED in Stars Hollow?"

"Town wasn't really a good fit for me, either," he explained.

"Even if my daughter was in it?" He asked.

Rory glared at her father and her tone become like ice. "Dad."

"Is this you way of asking me what Rory is to me?" Jess countered.

"Maybe it is," Christopher shrugged. "Maybe I want to know you didn't come back into my daughter's life, decide you want something better again and leave her."

"Maybe I love her," Jess almost hissed. "Maybe I left the other time because she deserved better than a guy who couldn't even graduate high school."

Rory tried to speak but he continued. "Jess -"

"I was a fuck up in high school," Jess went on. "I'll be the first person to admit that. But I won't deny what Rory means to me. And she deserved better back then. I needed to get my shit together so that I could be here today, with her."

"So you admit you made mistakes," Christopher said. "Anyone can do that."

"You haven't from what I've heard," Jess said.

"Excuse me?" He exclaimed.

Right then, a waiter came with their food and interrupted their heated discussion. Jess looked up at the waiter. "Actually, can we get these to go?"

The waiter nodded and left the dishes on the table as he went into the back for the to-go boxes. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah," Jess nodded and looked over at Rory. "You coming?"

The waiter returned with the boxes and put their meals into them for them. Jess handed him a bunch if bills to cover their food and told him to keep the change. He graciously left with the money and both men turned tbeir eyes on Rory.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm coming."

"Rory," Christopher called as the two of them stood up and grabbed their food. "Rory!"

Jess held onto Rory's hand as they walked out of the restaurant. They speed walked and could almost hear him behind them. "So much for changing his mind about me, huh?"

"What the hell was that?" She asked.

"He pushed," Jess replied. "Farther than he should have. I just can't listen to him assume he knows me or how this will end up."

"Me, either," she agreed. "But maybe..."

He looked at her as a cab came to a atop in front of them. "Maybe what?"

"Maybe we should have stayed," she said low.

"Huh."

"Jess."

He shook his head and reached into his pocket. "You could have stayed."

"I wanted to come with you," she told him.

"But you think that was okay?" He pointed back to the restaurant.

"Not at all," she answered. "But...well, I think we made it worse."

"You mean I made it worse," he corrected. "You can say it."

"No," she said. "We did."

"Rory..." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I am but hearing that guy say I'm just gonna leave you...he's not right okay? I don't care who he is."

"I know," she agreed. "That part was hard to hear."

"We can go back," he reluctantly added.

"No," she shook her head. Behind them, they heard Christopher call their names, especially hers. "Let's go home."

They climbed into the cab and gave their directions. Christopher was left in the dust in front of the restaurant hoping his to-go box.

...

Jess shut the door to the apartment behind him and watched as Rory walked further inside. She threw her purse down on the table and sank down into the couch. He followed her inside, placing the food on the table beside her purse.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked.

Rory shook her head. "No. I'm not mad at you."

He nodded as he began to process that she wasn't upset with him. "Upset with me?"

"I'm not anything with you," she sighed. "I'm just tired."

"Okay." He sat down next to her but not too close.

"He was being an ass," she groaned after a minute of silence. "And I know if we stayed longer, it would have gotten much worse."

"And?" He nudged her.

"And this makes me more mad at him," she confessed. "He finally meets you and he has to quiz you about school and thinking because you don't like Stars Hollow, you'll leave me again."

"I shouldn't have acted like I did," Jess sighed and put an arm around her. "Then and now."

Rory shook her head. "You don't even live there anymore, Jess. If you don't like Stars Hollow, you can come here or to Philadelphia. I don't understand why he's bringing up years old stuff."

"He's being protective," he shrugged. "Even if I don't really agree with how."

"Oh, I hadn't noticed," she smirked at him. Jess laughed and she snuggled into him. "You know, at least now he's not thinking about us sleeping together."

He kissed her hair. "Bright side, huh?"

Rory was about to look up at him when she heard the familiar ringtone of her phone. She got up off the couch to check it. "Ugh."

"Your dad?" He guessed once he turned in his seat and looked at her.

She nodded. "I don't really want to talk to him."

"You'll have to eventually," he said.

"But not right now," she walked back to her previous seat with her phone in hand. After she placed it on the table, she snuggled back against Jess.

"I'm sorry I'm causing trouble between you and your dad," he told her honestly. He wasn't sure he would take back defending himself and their relationship to Christopher but he did feel bad about coming between Rory and her dad.

She sighed. "We've always has trouble, really. When he was actually around, that is. This is just another to the list."

"I am sorry though," he replied. "I could have made it easier."

"No," she took his hand in hers. "If you didn't, I might have. I can't listen to anyone throw the past back at you."

"Even if I deserve it?" He smirked.

"Even if you deserve it," she laughed and kissed him softly. "Though you don't. You've changed a lot and that should be acknowledged."

He's about to say something when her stomach makes a small sound. They both laugh and he unwrapped his arm from around her. "Maybe its time I feed my girlfriend."

"Yes, please," she beamed. Jess got up first and held out his hand for her and they walked together into the kitchen.

...

Once again, Rory's phone rang loudly. She looked at the clock to see what time it was. The clock read just after 12 am and she looked over a sleeping Jess and then to her phone. She sighed and held her phone in her hand as she walked out of the bedroom.

"Mom?" She whispered.

"Sorry to call at this time, sweets," Lorelai said on the other end. "But I have a burning question to ask - what the hell happened between Jess and your dad?"

"He called you," Rory stated.

"He talked," she corrected. "Very very loudly."

Rory winced for her mother. "I'm sorry."

"You'll make it up to me by telling me what the hell happened," she pointed out.

So Rory told her. She went into the whole story about their short dinner and how her and Jess had left Christopher in the restaurant. When she finished with the story, she added a new detail. "He called me when we got home."

"He told me he tried but you didn't answer," the older woman said. "I'm on Jess' side, hun."

"Really?" Rory asked skeptically. She wasn't used to her tolerating him yet.

"Yeah," Lorelai sighed. "He should have at least waited more into the dinner to start the interrogation. Into the meal, at least."

Rory rubbed her eyes with her thumb. "It kind of reminded me of high school."

"The boyfriend interrogation?" She asked.

"Jess," her daughter simply answered.

"Why? Did he punch Chris?" Lorelai laughed.

"No," Rory laughed too as she imagined the mental image. "Though that would be like uncle, like nephew, wouldn't it?"

"Luke would give him a medal I bet," Lorelai said.

"How quickly he got mad reminded me of the past," Rory said seriously. "He had ammo to get angry but I haven't seen him like that in a while."

"And you're worried?" Lorelai asked.

"Not worried," she tried to explain. "Not exactly. I don't want him to do something the old Jess would do and feel guilty."

"Did you talk to him?" Her mother asked.

"No," she said. "We came home, we ate, we watched tv and went to sleep."

Lorelai nudged as best she could over a phone. "So talk to him. "

"How do I start that?" She laughed without humor. "Hey, honey, I love you defended our relationship but you also reminded me of high school you so let's talk?"

"Eew," Lorelai groaned. "You call Jess honey?"

"Focus," she demanded, a smile played on her lips. She heard a creak in the floor and the smile faded. Rory turned aaround and her heart sank. Jess stood in the doorway of the bedroom and it was obvious he heard her last words. "Mom, I have to go."

"But we're not done!" Lorelai exclaimed. Then she added in a lower voice, "Oh. Jess is there?"

Rory nodded then remembered it wasn't her mother who was staring at her. "Yeah."

"I'll call you later," Lorelai said. "Preferably when the sun is out."

"Okay," Rory replied. "Bye."

She hung up the phone right after Lorelai said bye and set the phone down on the table. Jess stood there and waited for her to speak first. When she didn't, he did. "I reminded you of high school tonight?"

"That wasn't what I said," she replied.

"Then explain," he asked patiently. "Because it sounded like you just told Lorelai the opposite of what you told me tonight."

"You have changed," she told him. Jess just looked at her, a look that told her he didn't believe her when she said that on his face. It broke her heart.

Rory stood up and walked to him. He stayed stiffly in place as he leaned on the doorway. She took Jess' hands in hers and looked up to his face. "Tonight, when you just wanted to get out of there and you were mad, I thought of high school."

He nodded. "So I did hear right."

"No," she clarified. "Because it was a moment. I wasn't used to you being mad."

He gave another nod. "And?"

"And I guess I've been in this happy bubble with you that I forgot that's still a part of you," she confided. "It surprised me to see you upset."

"I got really good at hiding it," he said and a smirk was tugging on his mouth.

"Jess?" She asked. His brown eyes looked right into her blue. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be the one apologizing."

"I do," she looked down at their hands to avoid eye contact. "Because I should have said it to you and not my mom first and make you overhear it."

"I shouldn't have been a jackass who made you walk out on your father, either," he countered. "I'm sorry, too."

Rory smiled softly at him. "Can we just go to bed now? I'm tired and I just want you to hold me."

"I can do that," he gave her a smile back.

She led him back into the bedroom and climbed into the covers first. Jess came behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Rory out her hands over his arms and nuzzled into him. He kissed her just below the ear and she closed her eyes contently. Jess didn't fall asleep until minutes before his alarm went off.

...

Jess was up, showered and dressed before Rory even opened her eyes. She slammed the snooze button again and expected to feel him holding her but found she was alone. Rory sat up and looked around. She saw the bathroom light on and walked to it, thinking she'd catch him in the shower or shaving or brushing his teeth.

He was doing none of those things. He wasn't even in the bathroom. Rory shut the light and walked out of the room, her bare feet padded against the floor as she finally found Jess in the kitchen. "Morning."

"Morning," he said and put his coffee down.

She noticed he was dressed nicely. Jess wore something that could have resembled a suit had he had a tie on. "You look nice."

"Thanks" he smirked and pointed at her. "You, too."

She blushed as she looked down at herself. Rory hadn't really cared about changing into pajamas the night before so she wore one of Jess' band tees and her underwear. She looked back at him and tried to get back on topic. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Chris called," he explained and rinsed his coffee mug. "Wants me meet a guy about his poems or something."

"Oh," she nodded. "Now?"

"He said the sooner, the better," he answered.

Rory's face fell. "Oh. Okay."

Jess walked over to her and kissed her quick. "Back to work today right?"

"Right," she nodded. "I should start getting ready."

"And I should be going," he looked at the clock and kissed her again before he walked to the door. When he had the door open, he turned back. "You want Chinese for dinner?"

"Sure," she smiled faintly. He nodded and was out the door.

 _What had just happened?_ The question ran through her mind as she replayed the look on his face versus his words in her mind.

Rory stood there in silence for minutes after he walked out the door. He obviously wasn't okay after hearing her phone call last night. Maybe she would call her mom again for advice. She even imagined calling Paris again like last time but she knew how busy she was now. Maybe she would call Lane.

Finally, she moved from her spot and started to get ready. After her shower, she sat in the kitchen and ate the waffles he had left for her while she drank her coffee. A knocking on the door made her look up and she wondered if Jess had forgotten his key. When she opened the door, however, she was surprised to see her father standing there.

 **A/N: This chapter particularly wasn't really easy to easy because I am not a Christopher fan, at all. I knew I'd have to include him at some point and everything I tried sounded too biased lol But I really think he would be like this to Jess, its hard to tell since they had no scenes at all and I feel like a bit of teenager Jess would come out at his disapproval.**

 **I also hope its not too OOC. And don't hate me for making a bit of conflict here! It will be worth it, trust me!**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Earlier this week, I posted a side story for Literati. It was supposed to be this fun, one-shot of AU and as a present for being awesome readers/reviewers. I marked it as complete and I didn't plan on adding to it. But your amazing response to it got me thinking maybe I should continue.**

 **But here's the thing. If I do continue it, it won't be til after this fic is finished. These chapters are done in my rare free time lately and I don't think I could do two at once and if I did, they might be not be that good. So if you're willing to be patient, then I hope you will. I'm interested in seeing where that one can go too since I never planned anything past what I wrote. But I wanted to tell you what I was thinking and to let you know I've read your comments and why I don't update it soon.**

 **And now to Nine Years Gone ;)**

Rory shut the door as fast as she opened it. She started to walk away from it and went to grab her purse. She didn't have to be at work yet but she figured anything was better than seeing her father right now. There was another loud knock on the front door and she sighed. Well, if he's gonna be here, might as well tell him how she felt.

The door swung open again and Christopher sighed in relief. "What the hell do you want?"

"I want to talk to you about last night," he explained.

"Jess isn't here," she shrugged.

"I want to talk to you," he looked confused, as if he had no reason to talk to Jess.

Rory stood in the doorway, not letting him in. "We have nothing to talk about. Jess, on the other hand..."

"I don't want to talk about Jess right now," he shook his head.

"Huh," she said. "He's the one you owe the apology to."

"Apology?" He asked then his face looked angry. "He made you leave in the middle of dinner. Not even the middle, in fact."

"He didn't make me do anything," she replied. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions. One of them was leaving with Jess last night."

"Okay, fine," he put his hands up in defeat. "I don't want to fight with you."

Rory crossed her arms over her chest. "Should have thought of that last night when you interrogated my boyfriend."

"I didn't mean to interrogate him," he defended. She waited waited for him to continue. "Really. I was just curious because he hurt you before."

"I'm surprised you even know that," she huffed. "You weren't exactly around when me and Jess dated, or when we broke up."

"I had GiGi," he defended. She rolled her eyes. "I promised Sherry I would be there for her. Its why I went back."

"And what did you promise mom?" She questioned. "I mean, you asked her to marry you when you were sixteen and she said no so what? You left and just never saw your daughter because her teenage mother didn't want to marry teenage you?"

Christopher sighed heavily. "This isn't about Jess anymore, is it?"

"No," she shook her head. "It never really was. Because you questioned him about leaving me when if we're being honest, you've left me more times than he did."

"I've told you I'm sorry for that," he said.

She nodded. "You have. But what happened after? You left again."

"Can we go inside?" He asked. "This feels like a conversation for private."

"Fine," she opened the door enough for him and he walked inside her apartment.

He looked around and saw obvious changes between teenager Rory and thirty year old Rory. What probably struck him the most was the pictures she had around. Framed, on the fridge...there was so many and a lot of them were of Jess. Christopher picked up one of them beside the couch. It was Rory sitting on a bench outside, in a park, and Jess' arm was around her.

"That was a week ago," her voice was softer now and she smiled. Her anger pushed aside as she saw which picture he looked at. "We were in this tiny park I'd never been to before and there was a guy walking by and we asked him to take our picture."

He set the photo down and turned to his daughter. There was a light in her eyes he had seen last night before the argument. It must be something Jess related. "He's important to you?"

"Very," she whispered.

He nodded. "I didn't mean for last night to happen like that."

"Well, it did," her icy tone was back. "And you can't come here, with Jess not here and expect me to suddenly see your aide of things."

"I didn't know he was gone," he told her. "I didn't even know he was staying here."

"Well, he is," she countered. She remembered last night and how her dad would eventually connect they're sleeping together but right now she didn't care.

"So you two live together?" He asked. It didn't sound judgemental, just curious.

"Sort of," she shuffled her feet. "He still lives in Philadelphia."

"Philadelphia?" He raised his eyebrows.

She waved her hands in front of her. "That's where he lived the past ten years."

"Oh," he said.

"Are you gonna use that against him?" She asked stiffly.

"Against him?" Rory nodded. "No. I was just wondering."

"Because you think he's gonna leave me?" She asked.

"Because I don't want you hurt," he corrected.

She laughed without humor. "And then we're back to you. Because you hurt me, a lot. And this whole protective thing - its too little, too late."

Christopher looked stunned, as if she slapped him. "Its too late?"

"To care about my relationships, my life, any of it?" She asked rhetorically. "Yeah, it is."

"I never meant to hurt you," he explained. "I was never ready to be a father and I thought staying away was best. That you were better off without me."

"Huh," she said. "It's funny how when you never mean to hurt someone is when you hurt them the most."

He looked her right in the eye. "Is that what Jess did?"

"This isn't about Jess," she answered. "Not right this second. Its about how growing up, I felt like my dad didn't want me. And when you finally did appear, it was never for me. It was for mom."

"That's not true."

"Of course it is."

Both were silent for a few seconds. Rory looked away and deciding on walking to her bookshelf. She pulled a few off the shelf and walked back to Christopher. "See these?"

He took them in his hands and read the titles then the aurhor. It was Jess' books. "Why are you showing me these?"

"Because you think he doesn't love me?" She asked. "You think he's not good enough for me no matter how much he apologizes or changed?"

He shook his head. "I didn't say that -"

"You hurt me, Dad," she cur him off. "You. And now your late protectiveness, I hurt him. Me. I guess it runs in the family, huh?"

"Did something happen?" He asked. "After?"

"Its nothing," she said and looked at the clock. "I have to go."

"Jess?" He asked curiously.

"Work," she said. "I'd like you to leave, too."

Christopher nodded and backed up, handing the books back to his daughter. She took them and placed them not on the shelf but the table besides the couch. "Okay."

He opened the door and shut it behind him. Rory sank onto the couch and fought the tears she so badly wanted to cry. Her feelings were all over the place between her father, last night and Jess' behavior this morning. She just wanted to hide for a few days but she couldn't. So instead she wiped at her eyes, looked at herself in the mirror and walked out the door with her head held as high as she could get it.

...

Jess left the coffee shop with a headache. He hadn't been lying when he told Rory he had a meeting to go this morning. He did however, leave out the part where he offered to go and now he regretted it. The guy was a bore. The plot for his book was lots of been-there, done-thats. There wasn't anything original in it and as soon as the guy left, Jess sighed in relief.

He pulled out his phone and his first instinct was to call Rory. Then he remembered what she had told her mother and felt...well, he wasn't even sure how he felt. Betrayed might be a good word. It felt like everytime she mentioned how he had changed was a lie and the words she whispered to her mother late at night on the phone was the truth. He wondered if there was other times she was reminded of his old self.

Instead of calling Rory - because really, even if he would, she was at work - he called Chris. The line for Truncheon rang and rang until finally he heard a familiar voice. "Truncheon books, how may I help you?"

"Hey, Chris," he said. "Its Jess."

"Jess!" He laughed. "Hey! The meeting's over?"

"Thank god, yeah," he rubbed his eyes. "Please don't publish that guy."

Chris didn't sound surprised by Jess' words. "Didn't like him?"

"He took parts of every novel, good or bad," he groaned. "And he mixed it all together as if that would appeal to everyone."

"So he showed you what he wrote," Chris remarked.

Jess stopped walking. "You knew it was that bad?"

"He made me read some in an email," he explained. "And it was...bad. But I needed a second opinion and now I have it."

"Why not ask Matt?" He made a face then figured it out. "Because he would just sign him."

"Exactly," he said. "I needed someone who could read it and not be someone who thinks that poet from years ago was a good idea."

Jess remembered the poet from nine years earlier. "Oh, man. He was bad."

"So...definite no?" Chris made sure.

He nodded, moving his hand and phone with him as he did so. "Definite no. I won't be changing my mind."

"Okay," Chris sounded like he crossed something off on paper. "He's officially off the list."

"Good because if we published him, remind me to go to the dentist," he teased.

Chris agreed, "Make me an appointment too if we do."

"Will do," Jess smirked.

"So what's next?" His friend asked. "You going to see Rory?"

"She's at work," he answered. He didn't feel much like saying how when he looked at her after that phone call, all he could see was the girl he loved crying in a bedroom at a party after he pushed further than he should.

"Oh," he said. "Trouble in paradise?"

"No trouble," Jess shook his head. "She's just at work."

Chris didn't buy it. "Uh-huh."

"Hey, I was wondering something, though," he brought up. "Can you send me something?"

"What is it?" He asked skeptically.

"Just a notebook," he shrugged.

"So get a new one."

"I want that one."

"Okay," said Chris. "What notebook and where is it?"

"It's red," Jess told him. "And you know the drawer in my desk I never let you touch? Just this once, I'm gonna ask you to go in there. But so help me, if you read it -"

"I won't," he promised. "I swear."

"Okay, good," he replied.

They hung up a few minutes later and Jess walked into a bookstore. This was a new one, he noticed. He browsed around and was surprised to find they carry his books. He walked right away from them and really hoped Chris would send the right notebook.

...

Rory looked up from her desk to see her boss standing over her. Leslie smiled at her and Rory smiled in return. She wasn't exactly sure why she was there but she didn't want to make a bad impression on it either way.

"Remember I told you about a new hire?" Leslie asked.

Rory nodded. "Yeah. I'm supposed to be training her?"

"Yes," Leslie smiled brightly. "She's here so I thought I would introduce you two and she could watch you at work."

"Oh," she replied. She tried not to let it show how much she wasn't up for this right now. "Okay."

Leslie walked away and when she came back, she pulled a long blonde-haired girl behind her. "Rory Gilmore, this is Jennifer Mansfield."

"Nice to meet you," the girl smiled.

"Same, here," Rory smiled back at her.

Leslie cut in again, inching towards the door. "I'm going to head back to my office now but you two talk, get to know each other, advise."

"Will do," Rory nodded with a small smile on her lips. She really liked Leslie.

Once their boss was gone, the girl turned to Rory and looked embarrassed. "You can call me Jen. Jennifer sounds so formal."

"I'm just glad she didn't call me Lorelai," Rory laughed. "It took a long time to convince her not to."

"Gosh, I hope I don't spend long convincing people of my name, too," Jen laughed.

"You probably won't," she smiled softly. She looked over at her computer screen and thought of how much she had left of the article.

"Busy timing?" Jen asked.

"A little," she shrugged. "I'm just finishing up something."

"Oh, okay," she sat in a chair and leaned back. Jen stole glances around the small office Rory has acquired.

As Rory was doing the last touches on her piece, she noticed Jen was staring at her. "What?"

"Nothing," her blonde hair shook as she moved her head. "Its just...you look so familiar. Have we met before?"

Rory thought through people she's met in her life and came up empty. "No. I don't think so."

"I feel like I know you from somewhere," she kept going.

"Like where?" She asked, really curious now.

"I'm not sure," Jen laughed.

"Well, where are you from?" Rory asked to be helpful. She remembered the file didn't include a personal history, just her resume of work. With everything that had been happening, she only skimmed it.

Jen answered quickly. "Philadelphia. Born and raised. This is actually my first time out of there."

"Oh?" She nodded. "My boyfriend lives in Philadelphia. Maybe we saw each other."

"He does?" She asked. "How did that happen?"

"We met when we were teenagers," Rory smiled at the thought of Jess. "Years after he left, he got a job there and just kind of stayed."

"Where's he work?" She asked. "Maybe I know him."

"Truncheon books," Rory said proudly.

"No way!" Jen gasped. "I used to work there!"

Rory's jaw almost fell off the floor and she really regretted not reading the file better. "So you know Jess then?"

"Jess?" Jen asked and her face showed a million expressions at once. "That's why you look so familiar! The picture!"

"What picture?" the brunette asked confused.

"I saw the picture of you two as teenagers," she explained.

"Jess shows his coworkers pictures of us?" She questioned. "And as teenagers?"

"Oh my god," Jen's face fell. "You don't know."

"Know what?" Rory asked.

"Jess and I dated for three years," Jen explained.

Everything started to connect all at once. This was like another blow to everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. "You're her? He told me about you but not a name."

"I'm her," she nodded. "And you're the infamous Rory. Now I know why everything about you is familiar. Its nice to finally meet you."

"You, too," she said. To herself, she thought, this just keeps getting better and better.

Rory tried to look back at her screen to finish what she had been doing, she couldn't help the questions she wanted to ask. "Jen?"

"Uh-huh?" She said cheerily.

"What was Jess like?" She asked. "When you were together? Was he distant, did he open up? Just tell me."

Jen thought for a moment as she remembered. "He was in-between. He didn't tell me everything. He was especially hesistant telling me about you. But he did tell me a lot of stuff."

She nodded. "I hurt him."

"I know," she said.

"I hurt him last night," Rory clarified. "I said something to someone and he heard and the look on his face."

"Why are you telling me this?" Jen asked. "I mean, you could probably tell anyone, get advice from them. Why me?"

"Because I feel like a teenager," she sighed. "Asking what to do when me and my boyfriend fight. And I feel like I need to confide in someone, someone neutral to the past especially."

Jen considered it for a moment. "He dealt with it before. You should just give him time."

"But this is different," she shook her head. "Before, I was stupid and scared of my feelings. Now...now I shouldn't have even been thinking that because I know he's not that person anymore."

"Is this about who he was before?" Jen asked. "Because he told me only bits and pieces of his past...and I'm not sure what kind of help I'd be at this."

"You know what?" Rory said. "I shouldn't even be asking you. You're his ex-girlfriend. You don't need to know any of this."

"I'm still his friend," she replied. "And honestly, I thought it'd be weirder for you."

"It is weird," Rory told her with a small smile. "But I don't think that's fully set in yet."

"Tell me when it does," she smiled back.

"Oh, you'll definitely know," Rory nodded. "Maybe now we should actually work."

"Good idea," she agreed.

And so they got to work.

...

Jess threw his keys down as he entered the apartment. After that meeting and finding the bookstore, he managed to stay out all day. He wasn't sure if he was just purposely trying to not come home or he really was just enjoying his city. Whichever it was, he was surprised at the sight he saw when he came home.

"Rory?" He called out.

The table was set nicely and he very clearly could smell food. He wondered if Rory had attempted to cook or for all he knew, she actually could now. She peaked out from the bedroom and smiled. "Hey."

"What's this?" He asked.

"I got us dinner," she answered as if she didn't need to. He still looked at her cluelessly so she expanded her response. "I didn't cook."

Jess couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face that she had to add that. "What's the occasion?"

"You," she shrugged. The smile was still on her face.

He walked more inside the apartment and she came closer as well. "Me?"

She nodded, the smile finally gone. Rory was now close enough to him that she could take his hands. "I don't want you thinking that I don't mean it when I say you changed. I do mean it. And you have changed."

"Rory..." He shook his head, not in the mood to talk about that.

"No, listen," she told him. "I met someone today. And I kind of confided in her."

"Okay," Jess said.

"It put stuff in perspective," she continued. "You're nowhere near the boy you were twelve years ago. I know that, I do. I cant change the way I was reminded of that night with my grandma all those years ago but I can change things now."

"And how would you change them?" He asked curiously. His eyes tightened at the mention of that dinner with her grandmother but he kept his thoughts to himself.

"I'd not jump to conclusions," she started. "That was what got us into trouble that night, too. And I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because I was pissed last night, too. And I shouldn't have said that like you were the only one upset."

"You don't have to defend the things you say to your mom, Rory," he sighed. "I wouldn't ask you to."

"I know," she kept her hold on his hands. "But I have to defend this. Jess, my dad came here this morning. After you left."

His face darkened. "What happened?"

"I yelled," she laughed. "I was all over the place. Went back and forth from last night and how he was to you to how he was never there for me growing up."

Jess squeezed her hands back for a moment. "I don't want to make you fight with your family."

"That's the thing," she told him. "He's not my family, not really. He's my biological father but he's more like that - what that thing you called Jimmy?"

"The guy that donated sperm," his lips quirked up and fought a smile. They lost.

Rory laughed again. "That's pretty much what he is to me. He wasn't there sixteen years of my life and when he did come back, it was because he wanted to be with mom."

"Okay," Jess said. "So he's a shitty father. What does that have to do with me?"

"It has everything to do with you," she explained. "Because you're my family. You. Not some guy who doesn't even know who I am."

He looked down at her in surprise. Instead of letting her go on, he just nodded and kissed her forehead, pulling her closer to him. Rory hugged him so tightly it felt like they were one person. He kissed her hair now and she buried herself in Jess.

"Come on," he whispered to her. "Let's eat."

"Okay," she agreed. He led her over yo the table where she sat. Jess grabbed the take out she ordered and brought it to the table. Once he was seated across from her, she called to him. "Jess?"

"Yeah?" He looked over at her.

"Are we..." Rory took a deep breath. "Are we okay?"

"Yeah," he answered. "We're okay."

She wasn't so sure. "Really?"

He smiled at her. "Really."

"Okay," she nodded and gave him her own smile back. They ate in silence, neither knowing how to continue the conversation. He was slowly getting his thoughts away from that dreadful party all those years earlier. And after dinner, Jess cleaned up and he kissed Rory. It wasn't the same as usual, it was a need kiss. She instantly gave in and he brought her to the bedroom.

This time their love making was slow. They spent their time on each other and making sure the other knew it wasn't just about sex, this wasn't just sex. The two of them fell asleep many hours later, tired but content. Rory woke up only two hours after she fell asleep and looked over at the sleeping Jess beside her. She stared at him and smiled. Finally, she snuggled back up to him and fell asleep once again.

 **A/N: For some reason, this chapter feels all over the place. Maybe its just me but I hope you don't think so or if you do, you like it. And kudos for guessing Jen was here! She won't cause problems, I promise. I could have done the Christopher scene better probably but I feel like Rory would be so upset with him she wouldn't be able to just keep on the one track. And why does Jess want the red notebook? Tell me what you think!**


	33. Chapter 33

Rory sighed as she sank down onto her couch. The apartment was quiet and lonely, something she had not been so used to recently. She was stunned this afternoon when Jess told her Chris called and requested he come back to Philadelphia.

At first, she thought he was lying and then she felt guilty about thinking that. He couldn't lie just to get away from her and it was terrible it even crossed her mind. Jess told her that they needed his opinion on authors they were considering. She remembered his laugh when he told her that Chris didn't like to rely on Matt's opinion.

He had waited until she came home from work to leave. A duffel stood at his feet as she entered the apartment. The first thing she saw was his expression - it was neutral, not happy but not that sad, either. He just seemed tired. Then Rory noticed the bag.

"You're leaving already?" She asked him.

Jess nodded at her. "The sooner I get there, the sooner its done."

She just stared. "But...I was hoping I could come with you."

"Can you?" He asked.

"I'd have to ask my boss," she answered. "See what she says."

"Okay," he simply said then smiled at her. "I could wait a little bit then."

She smiled back and grabbed her phone out if her pocket. "One minute."

Jess had watched Rory as she spoke on her cell. Her expressions changed from excited, less excited, pleading, sad, then finally defeated. He knew the answer before she hung up the phone and walked over to him.

"She says she needs me there," Rory sighed.

"Because of the training?" He asked.

Rory but her lip as she remembered he didn't know she was now working with his ex-girlfriend. She still wasn't sure how to bring that up, even days later. "That's part of it."

He put his hands on her waist and played with the edge of her shirt. "So there's nothing you can do?"

"Doesn't seem like it," she sighed and put her own hands on his arms. "I even offered her thanksgiving vacation."

He laughed and kissed her quick. "Your mom would kill you if you gave up thanksgiving."

"Jess?" She asked quietly.

His brown eyes looked right into her blue ones. "Yes, Rory?"

"You'll be back for my birthday, right?" She whispered. "No matter how busy we are, we'll spend it together?"

"Of course," he said to her in a soft tone. "Why do you look so worried?"

She looked up at him sadly. "We've never spent my birthday together. And this time, it feels different. I want us to do what we never could before."

"We will," he told her. "And besides, there are some things we've done this time we didn't before."

Rory blushed, guessing where his thoughts went. "I'm being serious, Jess."

"So am I," he laughed. A teasing smirk now played on his lips and she liked it. She felt like she didn't see this side enough since her father's appearance. "You mean you aren't glad that that's changed this time around?"

Her blush just turned deeper. "No comment."

"You're glad," he teased and brought her closer to him. Jess kissed her forehead and Rory's arms came around him to his back as she relaxed against his chest. "We will do things right this time, Ror. We already are."

"You think so?" She mumbled against his chest.

"I do," he told her. His voice was no longer playful but it matched the seriousness of hers. "And we will spend your birthday together. Even if Matt tries to drag me to stay in Philly."

"Promise?" She smiled.

He nodded. "I promise."

"I love you," she snuggled against him, not ready to let him go especially not to another state.

Jess kissed her head another time. "I love you, too."

Now, Rory just looked around the apartment sadly. Everything here was depressing her. Before, when she was alone, it was just her place and being alone didn't feel like it wasn't normal. Now, after Jess had stayed there, it felt like it was his apartment too.

She pulled herself off of the couch and walked into the bedroom. The bed was slightly made from this morning still. Jess had woken her up by kissing the spot behind her ear and with coffee. She didn't have time to make it so he offered. It made her smile a little that Jess was terrible at making the bed.

Rory walked into the room and sat on his side of the bed. There was a picture on the nightstand, another of them together. This one was much older, though. She picked it up in her hands and looked at their smiling, teenaged selves.

After she set it down, she realized maybe she needed to get out of the apartment. Thinking of Jess was just making her sad and she missed him.

Her phone was quickly in her hand as she dialed a number. It answered in the second ring. "Hey, girl!"

"Hey, Marissa," Rory smiled. "You wanna maybe grab some dinner?"

"Of course!" Marissa was excited. "Wait, don't you have a boyfriend now?"

"I do," she nodded to no one. "But he's not here right now and sitting in the apartment might make go crazy."

"Got it," her friend didn't need any more info. "Want me pick you up?"

"Please," she laughed.

Marissa laughed in return. "I'll be right over."

...

Jess arrived at his Philadelphia apartment later than expected. He couldn't believe the traffic that he had to follow on the drive back. He turned on the lights and almost didn't recognize the place. It seemed so foreign, despite having lived there for many years now.

He slipped off his shoes and put his duffel bag in his bedroom, only to walk out to the kitchen. There was still beer in the fridge and Jess laughed. Of all things, there was beer.

It was still cold and he opened it right up, drinking as much as he could in a gulp. The silence was deafening around him. As much as he expected to hear Rory any minute now, he also couldn't see her here. Not because he couldn't place her in his apartment but because she'd never been here.

Jess was determined to bring her here even if it's just for him to move out. He took out his phone and called Rory. She wanted to know when he made it back and after driving all that time, he just wanted to hear her voice.

It rang and rang, until finally, he heard her voicemail message. Signing, Jess waited for the beep and spoke, "Hey, Ror. I just got here. I thought I might catch you but you're probably busy or just didn't notice. Its...its really quiet without you. Call me when you get a chance, okay? I love you."

And then he hung up, putting his phone down on the island in the kitchen. It wasn't exactly late but he wasn't sure he wanted to go to Truncheon quite yet. Jess wasn't even sure he wanted to go at all. He was still going through what happened the night of the diasterous dinner with Rory's father, from the restaurant to that phone call her overheard. Leaving now felt wrong somehow.

Hesitantly, Jess grabbed his phone again and made sure he had his keys. He walked out the apartment door and decided to just get to Truncheon already. When he comes back, he'll hopefully just fall right asleep. The sooner he's there, the sooner he can get back to New York.

The bookstore was still open when he made it inside. The bell chimed over the door and it reminded Jess of the diner Luke owned. He stopped for a moment, almost thinking of Stars Hollow as home. Before he could get too far into those thoughts, Matt was rushing towards him.

"Hey!" Matt grinned and tried to hug Jess. "You made it."

Jess put a hand on his chest to urge him away. "No hugging, please."

"Right," Matt nodded. "You're spoken for."

"Are you drunk?" Jess made a face at him. "You know what? Don't answer that. I don't want to know."

"I only had a little to drink," Matt defended.

"What's a little?" He found himself asking.

Before a reply could happen, another familiar voice came and interrupted. "You're here!"

"Hey, Chris," Jess gave his best attempt at a smile. "Now how am I judging these possible signers?"

"We're doing another open house," Chris told him. "Make them perform, you can see what they do and we get an audience reaction."

"You needed me for something you're getting the audience to decide?" He almost scoffed.

"The audience isn't deciding," Matt shook his head. "Whoa."

"Can someone sober explain this to me?" Jess asked.

"We thought you needed an out," Chris finally told him and after a deep sigh.

"An out," Jess parroted. "From what?"

"You know," Chris gestured. "Whatever's going on with Rory in New York."

"Nothing's going on with Rory in New York," Jess replied then backtracked. "Well, obviously something is but not something you escape from."

"Do you think we're stupid?" Matt asked.

Jess turned to look at his friend. "Is this a trick question?"

"Something happened," Matt said. His face looked pale and like he was ready to puke. Jess made a face at him.

"You asked for that notebook," Chris said.

Jess shrugged. "So?"

"So that's the thing you carried around when we met you," Chris told him. "Why would you want a book you wrote in after Rory tore out your heart if she wasn't doing it again?"

"She's not," he snapped. He realized how that made it sound and changed his tone. "She's not, okay? I just thought it was time she knew about that notebook."

"Wait," Chris said as Jess began to walk away. He turned out to hear this brilliance. "You'll let her read it? We never even read it."

"One, you're never going to," he counted off on his hand. "Two, because I didn't trust you to keep it safe. Third, I think she needs to know."

Matt groaned. "No, don't do it!"

Jess laughed. "Don't do what? I didn't even say anything."

"You don't need to," Matt said. "If you let her read it, she'll have even more power over you."

"She does not have power over me," Jess sighed and rubbed his eyes. He did not come here for this. "And if the open house is tomorrow, then I will be heading out. See you tomorrow."

Chris loved to follow after Jess afted he walked to the emterance. "Wait!"

He turned around briefly. "Don't worry about it. He's drunk. I should go home anyway in case Rory calls."

Chris eyed him skeptically. "You sure?"

"I'm sure," he nodded and walked right out the door. He got home and picked up Thai food on the way.

Once home, he checked his messages to see if Rory had called. There was none from her but a text from Lily telling him she was maybe gonna come visit soon. Jess smiled as he remembered Rory wanted to meet her. He definitely knew Lily wanted to meet her.

After he typed a message back, Jess got his food out of the take-out containers. He ate in silence, something he was not used to anymore. When he was about finished, his phone rang and he looked over and saw Rory's picture looking back at him.

"I almost thought you forgot about me," he teased when he answered.

"Never," Rory replied. "I missed your call. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "'S okay."

"I called a friend to go out for dinner," she explained. "And my phone is on vibrate in my purse which I should have put it on ring. I didn't even think about -"

"It's okay," Jess had to resist a laugh. He loved when she rambled. "Really. I just wanted to tell you I was here and you know now so that's what counts."

She sighed and whispered, "I miss you."

"Me, too," he told her. "Why are you whispering?"

"Because we're at dinner and I noticed your call," she said. "So I told Marissa I was going to listen to the voicemail and then I ended up calling you."

He smirked. "So you weren't planning on calling me?"

"You know, I could hang up," she threatened.

"But you won't," he finished.

"But I wont." He could imagine Rory smiling. "Hey, did you go to Truncheon yet?"

He was silent a moment that answered. "They're having an open house tomorrow night."

"Oh," she was surprised. "I thought they wanted you to check out new writers."

"Apparently they're premiering their work at the open house," he said sarcasticly. "And we're judging by audience reactions as well."

"Okay," she said, still surprised. "How long do they need you?"

"I guess a few days," he shrugged. "But I'll be there for your birthday."

"You promise?" She asked hopefully.

"Even if I have to walk there, I will," he vowed with a smile.

Jess could imagine her once again smiling. "And I would walk 500 miles..."

"...Just to be the one to fall down at your door," he finished for her. "Rory, I'll be back."

"Okay," there was slight noise in the background and she came back on a second later. "My friend is calling me back to the table. Call you later?"

"You better," he said.

They hung up and Jess looked around his apartment, once again aware of how empty it is. He went and grabbed some clothes, going in the shower to wash all the drive.

...

"Sorry about that," Rory sat down in her seat across Marissa.

Her friend waved it off. "Sweetie, if you had to apologize everytime a boy came along..."

Rory blushed. "He's way more than just a boy."

"Man, whatever," Marissa laughed. "I forget we're adults sometimes."

"I left part out of what I told you," she admitted.

The girl looked at her curiously. "About you having a steady boyfriend who's basically living with you?"

"I didn't tell you who the steady boyfriend is," Rory told her.

"Ooh!" Marissa for excited. "I was wondering when you'd give me info."

"Do you remember my writer ex?" Rory asked.

She watched Marissa's face transform from thoughtful to excitement. "The hot author!"

"That's the one," Rory smiled.

"Oh my god," her voice sounded like an excited fangirl. "You're back together? And he's living with you? Here, in New York?"

Rory nodded. "Yep."

Marissa replied in her most serious voice. "I have to meet him."

"He's not home right now," she smiled at her own words, calling home Jess' home as well. "His co-workers called him and he went to Philadelphia today."

"Aha," she nodded. "See, I knew it. I knew you were still in love with the guy."

"I think I did, too," Rory answered. "And right now, I really miss him and it hasn't even been that long yet."

"When's he coming back?" She drank some of her soda that was left. Their dinners were almost completely gone at this point.

Rory shook her head sadly. "He doesn't know but he promises we're spending my birthday together."

Marissa gasped. "Oh my gosh, that's soon!"

"I was actually thinking of going back to Stars Hollow for my birthday," Rory explained. "Be with my mom and brother and my mom is getting further along and I feel like I've been so in my own world. I miss her."

"Well, you should go there then," her friend encouraged. "But bring the boyfriend. Because if he comes back in time and you're not here..."

"Like I wouldn't tell him I left the state," Rory laughed.

"Okay," she laughed too. "Fair point."

...

The next day, Rory walked inside her apartment with the mail clutched in her hands. She sighed, remembering once again Jess wasn't here. She hung up her jacket and slipped her shoes off. Immediately, her hands dug into her purse and grabbed her phone.

All day she hadn't spoken to Jess and the ache was strong. Rory was never someone who defined herself by having a man in her life. It wasn't that she did now, either. It was just missing someone this much. This feeling was new to her, she wasn't sure she even felt this way when Logan was away from her. She wondered if Jess knew just how much he meant to her.

She dialed his familiar number after changing into more comfortable clothes and snuggled into the couch.

He answered on the fifth ring and sounded tired. "Hello?"

"Jess?" She asked. "You okay?"

"Rory?" He asked. "I'm sorry. Just...Matt is being frustrating. Actually that's an understatement."

"Things not going smoothly for the open house?" She wondered out loud.

"One of the writers bailed," he sighed. "Claimed stage fright that while they like writing, they don't like to read it out loud to others."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. And she was sorry.

"You calling definitely helps," he said.

"Good," she smiled. "How long til you're out of there?"

"A few hours," he sighed. "I can't wait to get home."

"Then you can sleep," she suggested. "That must help after a long day."

"I mean home with you," he explained.

Rory looked down at her hands, the way she would if he was right in front of her. "I can't wait for that, either."

"And mark your calendar because I will be back in time," he promised.

"I was actually thinking of something," she suggested. "Maybe I'd go to see mom on my birthday."

"Because you don't think I'll be back?" He wondered.

"No," she whispered. "Because my mom is due in a few months. My birthday next year will be with a months old sibling. Maybe this is my last chance for a little while to celebrate."

"Then I'll come with you," he simply agreed.

"You will?" She asked excitedly. "I don't expect you to want to come and -"

"Rory." He laughed. "I've been there plenty of times over the years. I'm used to the place by now. If anything, this is a bonus because I'll have you with me."

Rory smiled widely. "I wish you were here right now so I could kiss you."

"And other stuff too?" He suggested playfully.

The blush appeared on her face before she could help it. She couldn't deny she wanted those things, too. "Yeah. Other stuff too."

She heard someone shout Jess' name on the other end and he spoke to them then to her. "Matt's calling."

"I don't think I ever agreed to sharing you with other guys when we got back together," she teased.

He laughed softly. "I don't think I even agreed to them stealing me from you, either."

"Go," she urged. "Just come back to me, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied. He hung up the phone and she pulled her legs up under herself. It was another night alone in the apartment and she couldn't stop thinking of how much she had grown used to having Jess around.

Rory remembered the pile of mail she had brought in with her and looked through them. One stood out to her as she read the Truncheon label and Jess' name on the front. Hesitantly, she started to open it.

It wasn't what she expected at all. Before opening, she thought it'd be important papers or something that Jess might need that the guys had sent to him. Maybe it was a short novel or some forms to sign.

But it wasn't. Not at all. It was a simple red notebook.

And it wasn't even a significant red notebook. It looked old, beaten. The spirals were coming out of the side and it looked like one a parent would buy their child before starting fourth grade. "What...?"

Rory flipped it open curiously. Immediately she noticed the handwriting inside. It was Jess', on every page. She recognized the way his letters shaped and the scribbles he made when he had to get a thought out and didn't want to forget it.

Quickly, she snapped the pages shut. What was this notebook? It must be important for Matt and Chris to send it to Jess for whatever reason. But what was the reason? Just as fast she opened it, she shoved the notebook back into the offending envelope.

Rory sighed and covered her face. "Shit."

...

Jess locked up the door behind the last customer as the open house ended. Chris requested he close up since the girls usually listen go him and when the girls leave, the guys do.

He made sure it was secure and walked away from it and almost right into Matt. "You need to wear a bell, I swear."

Matt laughed. "That's actually not the first time I've heard that."

Jess walked around him and over to the table where he started to clean up. He noticed Matt was watching him and sighed. "Come on. Say it."

"Say what?" He asked innocently.

"That you think something happened in New York," Jess answered. "That you think Rory did something."

"I didn't say any of that," he shrugged.

Jess stood up and crossed his arms. "She wants to meet you and Chris."

"We've met her," he replied. "A few times."

"Not really," he shook his head. "You met her at that open house nine years ago and then when she came to visit me a few months ago."

Matt still looked confused. "But we've met."

"She wants to come down here and actually get to know you two," he explained. "Not just spend a few seconds with you before talking to me."

"So let her," he said.

"If you're gonna do this," Jess warned. "Then I'll make up every excuse I can to convince her not to."

He looked stunned. "You think we won't behave?"

"I think you won't behave," he corrected. "And before that happens, I need you to get out whatever it is you want to say because if you act like a dick in front of her, I might have to kick your ass."

"Okay," Matt crossed his arms too. "I think you asked for that notebook for a reason. I'm not sure what reason yet but there is a reason. Maybe you just want it with you because you don't trust us not to read it. But I think there's more."

"You're right," he agreed much to his friend's surprise. "There is a reason."

"Gonna tell me what it is?" He asked.

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Look," Matt started and uncrossed his arms. "I'm sorry for how I acted. Do I like the girl? I don't know. I don't really know her. And I've seen her effect on you so yeah, I'm gonna defend my friend. But I also see you happier than you've been in a while too and that has to do with her."

"It does," he agreed.

"Good," he nodded. "I'm glad, then. But know I'm prepared for a night of getting shit-faced and cursing her name."

"Okay," Jess laughed. It sounded funny to him to hear Matt say such things but it did feel better to not think he was counting on their relationship's demise. "I think I'm gonna head home, all right?"

"Home-home or here home?" He asked.

"You need me anymore?" Jess asked.

"Nah, probably not," he replied. "Just needed you to hear the new works and see the reactions."

Jess couldn't help the smile from forming. "Okay I think I'll go home. My actual home."

"Okay," Matt said. "See you, man."

"See you." And with that he walked out the door to Truncheon, sure in his decision of where to go to.


	34. Chapter 34

Rory tossed and turned in her bed. Her mind was too restless for sleep no matter how much she needed it. Sighing again, she turned over and looked at the clock beside the bed. It was 2:30 in the morning and still she hadn't really slept.

With another groan, Rory fisted her hands and brought them down on the sheets. The ceiling was dark and boring. There was nothing there to keep her attention as she stared up at it. She grabbed her phone off the side table and scrolled through her contacts.

At first, she considered calling him. Another look at the time told her she would just be waking him up if she called. Instead, Rory's fingers typed up a quick ' _can't sleep_ ' and sent it. She sighed, frustrated at her mind for not shutting off.

Seconds later, her phone chimed in response. She looked over at it and couldn't help the smile at the two words back. ' _Me either_.'

Now that she knew she wouldn't be waking him up if she called, Rory dialed the familiar number until she heard a ring. The rings didn't last long and she soon heard his voice.

"I was hoping you'd call," he said in a husky voice that mixed with tiredness. The sound of it definitely made her not think of sleep.

Rory smiled into the phone. "I didn't want to wake you."

"I'm awake," he confessed. "Didn't want to wake you, either."

"I guess we both were thinking the same thing," she replied.

"I was thinking of being home," Jess admitted.

"You are home," Rory said.

"Nah," he answered. "Philadelphia isn't home anymore."

She felt the smile grow wider. "And where is home then?"

"You're gonna make me say it?" He asked.

Rory nodded. "Yes. I am. So tell me, Jess Mariano, where is home?"

"Jeez," he muttered then spoke up. "With you."

"That's all I wanted to hear," she whispered.

Jess was silent and it made her wonder what was going through his mind. She didn't have much time to wonder because he spoke again. "You wanna talk about whatever's bothering you as long as we're both up?"

She hated that he knew her so well at times like this. Instead of admitting what was on her mind, she countered, "What makes you think something's bothering me?"

He laughed. "Because I know you. And I know that when you can't sleep, its because you can't get something off your mind."

"Well, what about you?" She responded. "You're awake. What's bothering you?"

"I'm a brooding novelist," he said. "My kind can't always sleep."

"Jess," she whined.

He didn't fall for it and mimicked her tone. "Rory."

"Something came for you," she admitted and bit her lip.

"What was it?" He asked curiously.

"A notebook," she sighed.

His response was brief. "Huh."

"I didn't mean to look in there, I swear," Rory babbled. "I thought they were sending you something work-related and you could need it and then I shut it immediately."

"You read it?" Jess didn't sound mad, she noticed. He just sounded curious still.

"Yeah," she said hesitantly. "Are you mad?"

"No," he told her.

"But I looked through your mail," she said. Rory wasnt even sure why she was defending his right to be mad. She should instead be just glad he wasn't. "I opened something that you clearly don't want me seeing."

"How do you know I didn't want you see it?" He asked.

"Because..." She couldn't think of a reason to be honest. "Well, it was in your writing!"

"I know," he agreed. "I did write it."

"You aren't mad?" She asked again.

Jess laughed on the other end. "No."

She made a face, confused. "Why not?"

"You want me be mad at you?" He was amused.

"No," she shook her head. "Of course not. But...why aren't you?"

"Because one, you didn't read it," he started. "Two, because even if you had, I asked them to send it so you could."

"What?" She was stunned. "You...you want me to read it?"

"Well, I preferred to show you it myself," he was teasing and she knew it. "But yes, I did."

Rory sat up straighter and leaned against her headboard. "Well...why?"

"Because after dinner with your dad and...afterwards," he trailed off and she put her head down sadly as she remembered the look on his face after he heard her with her mom. "I started thinking."

"About what?" She asked worriedly. "Us?"

"Me," he corrected.

Now Rory was even more worried. "What about you? Jess, I'm sorry about what I said, okay? I need you to know that."

"I do know that," he said. "But I also know how I was back then. And I never want you be reminded of that guy again."

"He wasn't all bad," she muttered.

Jess ignored that. "That notebook has two years of my life written in it. Its where I started The Subsect. I want you to know that guy, for real."

Her vision blurred and she felt like she would cry. "So there's stuff about me in there?"

"There's a lot about you in there," he admitted. "And I want to be honest with you, Rory. I want you to read it and I don't want you to ever have to see the old me again."

"The old you wasn't all bad," she said. "He had some good points and I do see those points in the new you."

"Fine," he scoffed as if he didn't believe her there was good parts. "The bad parts, then."

"Jess..." She didn't know what to say. What could she say? He was giving her a piece of himself, his old self, that he his for years. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything," he said. "It's late. Go to sleep. We'll talk later."

"Okay," she nodded, not really wanting to let him go just yet. "I love you."

She could almost hear his smile. "Love you, too. Now sleep."

"You, too," she laughed. "Bye."

They hung up then she smiled to herself. The nagging side of her head broke through however and told her she needed to tell him about Jen and soon.

Her thoughts turned restless again as the guilt hit her but Rory still laid down. She thought of her birthday that was coming in two days and how Jess promised he would be back in time.

Meanwhile in Philadelphia, Jess placed his phone on the table besides the bed. He smiled to himself as he thought of how when he woke up, he would be on his way back to New York.

...

The traffic was insane, Jess thought. He figured it was revenge for driving into the city from one city in morning hours. Silently, he cursed his decision and waited for the cars to move.

Finally, when he made it home, it was closer to dinner than lunch. Jess threw his keys down and walked around the empty apartment. He looked for any sign his girlfriend was home and came up empty.

"Rory?" He called out. "Are you here?"

He was met only with silence. He checked the messages to see if anyone had called and made plans. There was one from her mother asking what her birthday plans might be. He smirked as he remembered his offer to go with her to Stars Hollow. He had meant it when he said being with her would make it better.

Finally, his eyes rested on a big, yellow envelope that sat in the coffee table. It was hastingly taped back together and it was than more obvious she had opened it. He'd have known even if Rory hadn't told him. Jess walked over to and sat on the couch, picking it up.

It was just as he remembered it. He wondered what Rory had thought when she looked at it. Did she see past Jess or did she see someone broken who had to write what he had felt?

He flipped through the pages, as he had so many times before. Jess wondered if Rory had read it or if any words had caught her eye? He sighed and shoved it back into the envelope.

Again, his mind wondered where Rory was and he got an idea. He grabbed his phone and called Luke.

"Hello?" The gruff voice on the other end answered.

"It's Jess," he said. "I have a question."

"What's that?" He now sounded amused. "Something happen over in Philadelphia?'

"I'm not in Philly anymore," Jess told him. "I'm in New York."

"You're back?" He sounded surprised.

Jess nodded. "I'm back. And Rory's not here so I was hoping to surprise her."

"Okay," Luke said. "Why call me?"

"Because Rory isn't a fan of a big deal being made about her," he replied. "And I was wondering what Lorelai would say to us coming into town for her birthday."

Luke almost laughed. "You had to ask that? The answer should be obvious."

"I know," he shook his head. "Stupid question. Can she set something up in town?"

"Like what?" He asked. "A party?"

"Exactly like a party," he nodded again. "Like she used to. Rory's been working a lot and then the stuff with her dad..."

"Yeah, I know," Luke agreed. "Lorelai told me what happened. The short story, at least, and even that wasn't good."

He looked up at the ceiling before replying. Jess wondered how much Lorelai even knew of that night considering what happened afterwards. "So you know she needs a night where she just has a good time and forgets all of it."

"I'll ask her," Luke said. "We both know what the answer will be, of course."

"Yeah, we do," he laughed. "Thanks, Luke. I wanted to do it sooner but I wasn't sure when I'd be back and I know Rory has the day off..."

"So she would have went to see if you were in Philadelphia," he finished for his nephew.

"Yeah," he whispered.

Luke answered quickly. "I understand and I got it. I'll tell her now because you should know she's right here and looking at me all curiously."

"Is this about Rory's birthday?" He heard Lorelai shout.

"Yes," Luke answered her.

"Ooh!" She said anxiously. "And you mentioned a party. Are we setting up a party?"

"See what you did?" His uncle asked into the phone.

"Sorry," Jess laughed. "I have to go. I'm gonna surprise her with dinner when she comes home."

"Don't you think you're enough of a surprise since you weren't back when she went to work?" Luke countered.

Lorelai gasped. "He's back?! Rory is gonna be over the moon."

Jess laughed at her cheerfulness that once upon a time never would have happened. He was glad Lorelai not only could stand him, they were actually friends in their own way, but that she accepted his relationship with her daughter.

"I got to go," Luke told him. "She might go overboard now."

Jess nodded, a smirk in his face. "Yeah, me too. Good luck."

"Thanks," Luke replied and they hung up.

Jess kept the grin on his face and went to look around the kitchen. The food he was looking for wasn't in there so he grabbed his keys and phone and was out the door to pick up a few things.

...

Rory almost dropped the binder in her arms as she searched for her keys. Leslie had given her past articles to take home and review then to show to Jen tomorrow. She didn't understand why Jen couldn't just take them home but she smiled and took the binder anyway.

"Come on," she groaned as she gripped one arm around it and the other searched her purse. The door opened and she gasped in surprise. Rory was terrified that someone was in her apartment.

The terror only lasted seconds as she heard a familiar voice. "Need some help?"

"Jess!" She smiled widely. The binder almost slipped out of her hands and Jess grabbed it from her to prevent just that. "What are you doing here?"

"I really wanted a hot dog from a street vendor," he teased as they walked inside.

She shook her head, still smiling. "I thought you would be gone at least a few days."

Jess set her binder down on the coffee table and shrugged. "Turns out, they only needed me for the open house."

"This morning...when I called you," she asked. "You knew then? And didn't tell me?"

"Isn't a surprise nicer?" he grinned.

"Not what I almost had a heart attack of who could be in my apartment," she was still smiling.

He walked over to her. "Next time, I'll try not to give you a heart attack."

"Next time?" She asked as she put her arms around his neck. "I don't think you're ever allowed to leave again, Mister."

"Missed me, huh?" He smirked.

Rory shrugged in return. "Only a little."

He kissed her softly and moved away sooner than she'd have liked. "Me, too."

She leaned her forehead to his and smiled. So this is what real and true happiness felt like, she found herself thinking. Her thoughts traveled back to her marriage to Logan and she reflected how different this felt. This felt...right, like they were always meant to end up here, together.

Suddenly, the scent of well cooked burgers lifted through the air and she wrinkled her nose. "Is that what I think it is?"

Jess smiled at her. "I made you dinner."

"You made me burgers," she stated.

"Yes," he answered.

"God, I love you," she laughed and kissed him hard. His arms came around her back as he laid his palms flat on the small of Rory's back. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she moaned a little. She had missed kissing him.

He broke away first, the grin still on his face. "Come on. Let's eat."

She nodded and let him lead her to the table by the hand. She sat down while Jess put the food on dishes and sat down across from her. Rory couldn't help the smile on her face as she watched him and ate her dinner.

...

Neither one of them mentioned the notebook now that Jess was home. It laid on the table as an unspoken elephant. Last night, after dinner, the two of them had been too preoccupied. They had made love until the time got too late for a good night's sleep.

Even then, she snuggled up to Jess and he wrapped his arms around her. Rory listened to his heartbeat beneath her ear for a while before managing to finally fall asleep. She noticed Jess had a smile on his face before the slumber had taken her over also.

She went to work the next day excited because not only was tomorrow her birthday but she convinced Leslie to let her off. Anything that needed to be done was going to be done at home. Rory had yet to call her mom and tell her she planned on coming for a visit.

In all honestly, she felt guilty. She had told her mother she'd be there for her pregnancy and so far, she had failed to do so. Lorelai had called her excitedly after each doctor appointment and each time she heard how good her unborn baby was doing, she made them write it down and posted it on the fridge.

Rory wanted to make up for it somehow. She knew just going home for her birthday wasn't enough but she had to try. Jess had been to Stars Hollow and with her mother during the past months more than she had.

The workday passed by fast and it was time for lunch. Walking outside and dialing her speed dial, the phone rang. A chipper Lorelai Gilmore came on the other end. "Hello, sweet loin child of mine."

Rory laughed. "What did I say about calling me that?"

"Maybe I was talking to Evan as I picked up," she replied.

"Uh-huh," Rory said skeptically. "And where is Evan?"

Lorelai groaned, defeated. "School."

"I knew it!" Rory gasped.

"Hey, I've been months without coffee," Lorelai whined. "I'm allowed to say anything I want to say."

"You've had coffee," Rory pointed out.

"Decaf," she groaned again. Rory imagined the face she would make as she said the word and laughed again.

"That's still coffee."

"Is not."

"Tell that to your husband," the younger girl grinned.

"Don't you think I have?" Her mother whined again. "I miss it. I miss how strong I used to make it. Can we tell baby how badly she owes me for this?"

Rory stopped walking, stunned. "She?"

"It's a guess," Lorelai replied. "I'm not actually sure of it being a boy or a girl yet but this pregnancy feels closer to when I had you than when I had Evan."

Rory smiled. "So you think its a girl?"

She knew Lorelai would be smiling, too. "You know my senses, babe. I can feel it."

"So I might have a little sister soon," she smiled bigger.

"Maybe," her mother corrected. "We haven't actually found out from the doctor so we might want to be sure before telling anyone."

"Mom!" She laughed. "I just - it feels very real to be talking about how my new sibling might be a little sister."

"Sorry to break it to ya, kid," Lorelai laughed. "But the bump I've been sporting beat me to that spot a while ago."

"I can't believe this," she said. "I never thought this would happen. All your trying - I'm so happy for you, Mom."

"Thanks, hon," she could hear the smile in her words. "It means a lot to hear you say that."

Rory shook her head. "Like I wouldn't be happy for you?"

Lorelai laughed once again. "More like you hear stories about the oldest child thinking they were a test child and I never want you to feel like that."

"Oh, believe me," her tone sounded less than amused. "I have felt like that. But not because of you."

"Your dad?" She simply asked.

She nodded. "Yep."

"Hun, I'm sorry," she told her. There was a moment of silence before she spoke again and it seemed like she was thinking if whether or not she should mention anything. "Your dad called me again."

Rory's good mood faltered. "Why does he still do that? Why does he run to you when he shouldn't and especially about me?"

"I don't know, sweetie," she said. "But he was worried."

"Worried," she scoffed. "Is that code for he doesn't like Jess and doesn't trust him?"

"I think he was worried he damaged his relationship with you for good," she answered.

"He did that years ago," she replied. "Back when he found out Sherry was pregnant and decided that child deserved a father more than I did."

"You love GiGi," Lorelai pointed out.

"Doesn't mean I love the situation," she muttered. "Mom, I'm sorry he put you in the middle of this. I am. But I think I need space from Dad, to figure out how I feel."

"He left New York," she explained. "He wanted to go talk to you again but I told him maybe he better not."

"Good," she said.

"You'll have to talk to him sooner or later," she explained. "He's your dad."

"Funny," she scoffed. "Does he know that?"

Lorelai made a sound that seriously sounded like she wanted to agree. "I think he really is sorry."

"I don't know if I can forgive him, Mom," she said sadly. "Not this time. He's done too much."

"I know," she agreed. "Trust me, I do. I'd just hate to see you not have a relationship with him."

"I have Luke," she said.

"Always," her mother confirmed. She decided on a subject change when she next talked. "So your birthday is tomorrow..."

"Yes, it is," Rory beamed as she opened the door to the coffee shop she usually went to for lunch. "And Jess came back in time."

"Uh-huh, Jess," she murmered.

"What's that tone?" She wondered. "I thought you liked Jess."

"Like seems like a strong word," she countered.

"Is something up?" She asked then gasped. "He's planning something, isn't he?"

"Maybe," Lorelai answered. "Maybe not."

Rory gasped again and the people ahead of her on the line all turned to look at her. "Tell me what!"

"Can't," she said. "I'm under strict guidelines not to."

"Tell your husband I demand to know," she said.

"Not guidelines from the husband," she said. "Ask the boyfriend."

She pouted. "This is so unfair. He'd never tell me."

"Its one day," Lorelai reminded her. "You can wait one day, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," she was still pouring as the person ahead of her finished her order. "Mom, I have to go. I'll call you later, okay?"

"You better," she said. "Love you."

"Love you, too." Rory hung up the phone and stepped forward to place her order.

...

After an early dinner that night, Jess washed the dishes as Rory went to sit on the couch. She stared at the red notebook sitting in the yellow envelope and wondered why neither of them had mentioned it yet.

He noticed her stare and leaned against the counter, his back and palms against the cold top. "You can look at it, you know."

Rory turned her head out if her daze and looked at Jess. "What?"

He nodded toward the notebook. "You know you want to and I'm telling you to."

She bit her lip and as soon she felt the warmth of blood rush under her teeth, she stopped. "I feel like I shouldn't."

Jess pushed himself off the counter and walked closer to the couch. He stood not exactly in front of it but not off to the side either. "I'm telling you to."

"Has anyone ever read it?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Never."

"So I'd be the first?" She asked.

"One and only," he crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

Her eyes looked sad. "I'm afraid to."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because you said this was two years of your life," she admitted. "Times when I broke your heart and you broke mine. What if I can't deal with what I read?"

"Then you either skip it or we talk about it together," he replied cooly.

"Really?" She asked. "What about the past is the past?"

"If there's one thing I learned," Jess smirked without humor. "Its impossible to really keep everything in the past."

Rory turned her whole body to face him better. "Is this about the phone call?"

"No," he shook his head and went to sit beside her. "It's not about that. Its about you needing to see what was in my head back then. And...and I want to show you how I felt because I wasn't able to then."

"I don't need to know," she replied. "I know how you feel now. That's what matters."

He smiled at her and touched her cheek. She hadn't even realized a tear slipped down. "Then just keep it. Maybe you'll change your mind."

"I won't," she said confidently.

"Then humor me," he said.

Rory gave him a small smile. "Okay."

Jess kissed her lightly on the lips then moved closer to her, wrapping his arm around her. He kissed her forehead and she felt a smile cross his lips. "Hey, wanna do something?"

"You know you don't have to ask if you want to do anything," she almost blushed.

"Good to know," he half-laughed. "But not what I meant."

"Okay, what do you want to do then?" She asked.

"Take a drive with me," he shrugged.

"A drive?" She asked. "A drive where?"

"I don't know," he shrugged again.

Rory eyed him suspiciously. "You do know."

"Yes, I do," he nodded.

"Are you gonna tell me?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Is it far?" She asked.

"I can only suggest pack a bag," Jess grinned.

"Jess?" She stood up then turned back to him. "Thanks."

"For what?" He asked innocently.

"For everything," she said calmly.

"No problem," he shrugged again and she held in a laugh at his reaction. Rory rushed to their room and threw stuff in a bag, wondering if this had to do with anything her mother had said.

 **A/N: Hi! Just wanted to say thank you so much for still being here and reviewing! It means so much to see your thoughts on it even if it's just a few words. It's really nice to know people are actually reading, let alone enjoying this! And the next chapter is Rory's birthday :3 So get ready to go back to Stars Hollow!**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Don't hate me, it's all I'll say for now!**

Jess shook Rory's shoulder slightly, waiting for her to wake up. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around confused. The night was dark outside and he smiled at her warmly.

"What time is it?" She whispered as she sat up in the car seat.

He laughed. "Late."

"Where are we?" She tried.

He pointed out the car window and Rory instantly sat up straighter. It was a place she'd recognize anywhere. The smile on her face made him smile back. "Surprised?"

She nodded. "Very."

"Come on," he urged and Jess got himself out of the car. He came around to her side and helped a now awake Rory put of her seat.

She looked at him curiously with a smile beaming. "This was planned?"

Jess nodded. "You like it?"

"I love it," she gushed.

They reached the front porch steps and he knocked on the door. She tried to grab her key but he held a hand out, raising it over her mouth to say ssh. Rory was confused but when the door opened, she understood.

Lorelai gasped when she saw them standing there. "You made it!"

Rory smiled brightly at her mother and looked at her stomach. It looked more like seven months than six and she looked so extraordinarily happy. She was beyond words excited for this new baby and so was Rory. "Mom!"

The older woman grabbed her daughter, crushing Rory to her as best as she could. Jess smiled as he watched them and shuffled his feet. He felt like he was intruding on a reunion.

"I'm so glad you're here," Lorelai said as they still held each other. "I wasn't sure you would be and then Jess called..."

Rory turned her head to look at her boyfriend. "So even Mom knew the plan?"

"I think by now the whole town knows the plan," he said jokingly.

She clutched her mother to her for a few minutes more before Lorelai ushered them inside. The two Gilmore girls sat on the couch while Jess stood. "Evan is asleep so we have to be quiet. But I want you to tell me everything that's going on."

Rory shrugged. "There's not really much."

"Really?" She questioned. "Living with your boyfriend in the city, dream job, gorgeous mother...come on, I missed you! What kind of coffee do they have?"

Jess laughed and so did Rory. "Still dreaming of non decaf coffee?"

"Its the first thing I'm drinking or eating for that matter once this baby is out of me," she said. Neither of them were sure whether or not she was joking.

"I'm sure Luke loves that," Rory laughed then stopped. "Where is he, anyway?"

"Upstairs," she pointed. "Asleep."

"Right," she nodded. "The diner opens early."

"And with the diner mention," he spoke up. "I should get going."

Rory seemed to remember Jess was there and she turned to look at him. "What? No! Why?"

"Because it actually got late and I didn't sleep on the way here," he smirked.

Rory looked over at the clock and frowned. It was now much closer to her birthday than she thought. It was actually nearing ten minutes away. "It is late."

"Exactly," he kept his smirk on as he walked towards her and kissed her lightly. "I'll go to the diner. You can stay here if you want, talk to your mom."

"Jess -" she watched as he walked to the front door.

He waved his hand in front of him to tell her it was no big deal. "Just don't stay up too late, okay? I'm making you breakfast at Luke's."

"Really?" She smiled.

He nodded. Lorelai watched them curiously then teased, "Gee, don't you want a room to go with those bedroom eyes?"

Jess laughed now while Rory blushed. She jumped up from the couch anyway. "I'll walk you out."

Lorelai rolled her eyes dramatically and as they disappeared out the door, she tried to watch them as best she could without being obvious.

They stood on the front porch of her old home. Rory squeezed Jess' hands with her own only to then wrap her arms around his neck. He put his hands on her lower back and smiled. "Surprised?"

"Yes," she nodded. "And happy."

"Seeing your mom always makes you happy," he teased.

Rory shook her head. "Its not just about my mom."

"You're saying I might have a part in it?" He grinned down at her.

"I'm saying you might have a large part in it," she grinned back. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied, still smiling. Jess took that moment to kiss her again and when he pulled away, he spoke again. "Stay. Have fun. Listen to the story of your birth at 4 am. You know you want to."

"I do," she smiled. "Thank you."

Jess took his hands off her back and Rory pulled her arms free. "You said that already."

"It needed repeating," she explained.

He laughed and kissed her again. This time he started walking back to the car. "Happy birthday, by the way!"

Rory remembered the exact words being spoken almost ten years earlier and her heart swelled when she thought of how they got here. "Love you!"

"Back at ya!" He yelled and got into the car. She laughed. Of course he wouldn't yell it back and in Stars Hollow of all places.

Smile still firmly in place, she watched as Jess drove out of their driveway and waved goodbye. She waved back and when he was gone, she walked back inside to see her mother standing right in front of her. Rory nearly jumped when she noticed she was.

"You look very happy," Lorelai commented.

Rory nodded towards her. "Right back at you."

Lorelai beamed at her. "I am. Are you?"

"I am," she nodded.

"Come on," Lorelai wrapped her arm around her daughter the way she used when she was younger. "Let's make hot chocolate and talk about boys."

"Well now it defintely feels like my birthday," Rory laughed.

...

The cups were foamy and brown, the hot chocolate getting lower and lower in their cups. Lorelai watched her daughter explain what having Jess around at home was like.

She couldn't help but feel jealous, remembering all the times they shared together before. She was surprised she was jealous of Jess, of all people, but she knew it was only because these small visits were not nearly enough.

"I really like having him there," Rory went on then added with a laugh. "It's kind of like having my best friend and my chef there."

"Hey!" Lorelai interrupted. "I thought I was the best friend!"

"The boy best friend," Rory corrected.

Her mother smirked. "Much better. Continue. He's like a chef?"

"He makes me breakfast and I come home to dinner," she answered. "I don't think I've ever had that before."

A look of sadness crossed Lorelai's face as Rory realized what she wanted to ask. Logan's name hung on both of their tongues and the younger girl looked down at her hands. Lorelai tried to keep the conversation light again. "That reminds me of when Luke started staying here."

"Please don't tell me gross stories I'd rather not hear," Rory made a face while she teased.

Her mother shook her head. "I thought I'd save those for your wedding. Incoperate them into the speech and embarrass you."

"What wedding?" Rory asked fat more sarcastic than she had intended. "My failed marriage?"

"No -"

"What then?"

"I'm sorry," she said. "I was just teasing. I didn't mean to -"

"Its okay," Rory cut her off. The second time within two minutes her thoughts traveled to her ex-husband. "Mom?"

"Yeah, sweets?" She asked with a guilty expression on her face.

"How do you think he is?" She found herself asking. "He went to get help and all but we haven't talked since. Do you think he's okay?"

"I think if he wasn't, you'd have heard," she touched her daughter's hand.

Rory snorted. "The Huntzberger family would never tell me anything. Especially not now."

"That may be," she agreed. "But Emily Gilmore would."

"You have a point," she gave a small smile then it faded. "I feel guilty."

Lorelai patted her hand. "How come?"

"Because I loved Logan," she sighed. "A lot. I was in love with him. I married him. I almost -"

"Almost what?" She asked.

Rory tried to regroup her thoughts. This wasn't really the way to blurt out 'I was pregnant'. "I wasn't in love with him the way I should have been."

"What do you mean?" She asked curiously.

"These past weeks, month..." Rory let out a sigh. "I've been happy. Really happy."

"Thats not a bad thing," Lorelai assured her.

"But I was never this happy with Logan," she picked at a piece of tablecloth.

"Hun?"

"Yeah?"

Lorelai considered her words and when decided to start with a simple question. "Do you want my advice?"

"I wouldn't say no to Lorelai Gilmore wisdom," Rory showed a small smile.

"Just be happy," she shrugged. "You and Logan...you can't change anything about it. Feeling guilty now won't help so just focus on how you feel now. And you love Jess, right?"

Rory nodded. "Right."

"Then love him," she told her. "Be happy. You deserve to happy no matter what so don't try to find reasons to say you shouldn't be."

"There's something else," she bit her lip. Lorelai waited for her to continue and when she did, she spoke in a whisper. "I met his ex-girlfriend."

Lorelai nodded. "And?"

"And she's really pretty," she groaned. "And sweet. And apparently her and Jess are still friends."

"Uh-huh," Lorelai kept nodding. "And what did he say about this?"

"He doesn't know," Rory his her face in her hands then peaked out. "Everyday I go to work, I spend some of it one-on-one with this girl he was with for three years, that he used to work with too, that he slept with -"

"Whoa, stop it," she put her hands up in a stop motion. "First of all, breathe. Second of all, get them sleeping together out of your head."

"I can't!" She let out another groan. "It was fine when we met because it was right after Dad came and it hadn't really kicked in. But now it has and its gotten weird and I can't not be around her because its my job."

"Hmm," the older woman mused.

The younger one was anxious. "Hmm what?"

"You're jealous," she answered.

"Of what?" Rory said. "Jess is with me."

"Yeah but see, heart and brain aren't always seeing things the right way," she explained. "You see this pretty ex-girlfriend of Jess' who happens to be nice and you're jealous."

"I know jealous," she shook her head. "This is not jealous."

"I'm not talking watch Jess make out with a random blonde against a tree jealous," she snorted. "It's a she had him for three years and what if she knows him better jealous."

"Huh," Rory leaned back in her chair.

"And you have to tell him," she advised. "You're seeing this girl everyday and its making you think of them having sex. If you don't talk to him, it will only get worse."

"You're right," she agreed. "I just...how do I bring it up?"

"Just start slowly," Lorelai said. "Casually bring up work and lead to it."

"Thanks, Mom," Rory smiled. "I forget how much I need this."

"And I forget how much you still are like a kid in some ways," Lorelai teased.

They laughed and later, after they had both gone to sleep, an alarm rang and Lorelai looked over at Luke, smiling before climbing out of bed and down to the couch Rory had insisted on staying on.

She shook her daughter awake and at exactly 4:03 am, recalled the story of how Lorelai Leigh Gilmore was born.

...

Around 8 am, after much convincing from Rory that they shouldn't go for her birthday breakfast around lunch, Lorelai walked into Luke's with her. Evan had already reluctantly went to school after seeing his big sister at home. Rory had actually been the one to send him off after his pouts of resistance.

The bell chimed above the door as the two Gilmore women walked in. Miss Patty and Babette gasped in happiness at the sight and Kirk got excited like a schoolgirl. Lorelai nudged her daughter as if to say, 'don't you miss it here?'

Lane came out of the kitchen and her jaw dropped. "You're here!"

Rory ran around the edge of the counter where she met her friend into a hug. "I'm here!"

When Lane pulled away, she gave her a huge smile. "Happy birthday! I wasn't sure you'd actually make it!"

"Make what?" Rory asked curiously.

"Make it here," Lane added. "We were hoping we'd all get to see you."

"Is there some big plan happening?" Her eyes twinkled with excitement.

The dark haired girl shrugged. "Besides just getting to see you for your birthday?"

Rory nodded with a smile. "Uh-huh. Something's planned."

Right then before she could ask any more questions about the town's plans, the curtain rustled and Luke entered the diner. "Hey, Rory!"

"Hey, Luke!" She hugged her stepfather too now. "I didn't see you this morning."

"When I left, you were still asleep," he clarified as they pulled apart. "Didn't want to wake you up. No doubt your mom had you up all night."

"Hey!" Lorelai sat at a stool and pretended to look offended. "I did not!"

"She didn't," Rory defended her.

The older woman smiled brightly. "See? Loin fruit knows."

She laughed. "Please don't call me that."

Lorelai pouted. "But its the anniversary of when I gave you life, child. Its my day, too."

She looked helplessly between Lane and Luke. Luke just shook his head. She knew this was an average thing for him. Lane just laughed. "Fine."

Lorelai threw her hands up in excitement. The curtain rustled again and Jess appeared, his face instantly smiled as soon as he saw her. There was gushed whispers from the townspeople at their tables. It was as if they didn't believe they were together once leaving the town and this was a reunion the way they reacted.

"Happy birthday," Jess told her as he leaned in to kiss her lightly.

Luke turned away, never comfortable with displays of affection and especially not between his nephew and stepdaughter. Lorelai rolled her eyes dramatically. "Here come the lovebirds."

Rory turned to look at her mother and smiled. "Lovebirds isn't such a bad thing."

"It is for me," Jess objected as he wrapped his arm around her waist. "I have a reputation to uphold."

"Poor you," she laughed and kissed his cheek.

Luke stepped forward and pointed to a table. "I have a table ready for you."

Rory looked over in the direction he pointed at and saw a table that identical to her sixteenth birthday. There was balloons and a cake on top of it and she smiled even wider. "For me?"

"For you," Lane nodded.

Lorelai went to sit at the table first and Lane and Rory followed, the latter holding Jess' hand and tugging him with her. He shook his head. "I have to make you breakfast."

She pouted at her boyfriend. "But I want you at my breakfast too."

"And I will be," he agreed. "After I make it."

He kissed her quick and she told him what she wanted. Lorelai wanted two of everything and Lane settled for eggs and bacon. When breakfast was finished, to all of their surprise, not only Jess sat down but Luke, too.

"What?" He looked at them all, including Jess.

"Nothing," Lorelai shrugged with a smile.

They ate together quietly. Questions were asked and answered and when the food was gone, Jess and Luke cleared the plates and left the females to themselves.

It wasn't that long before Babette and Miss Patty slid into the newly unoccupied seats. "Happy birthday, doll."

"Thank you, Babette," Rory smiled at her old neighbor. "Miss Patty."

"Sweetheart," Miss Patty started. "Its true you and Jess are living together in New York?"

She nodded. "Its true."

"Oh may," the red haired woman smiled. "How is that?"

"Its amazing," she blushed. The two older women took that as a sign she meant not just living with him.

"I knew it," Babette whispered to her friend.

Miss Patty grinned. "You did call it. But I never doubted, either."

"Eew, eew," Lorelai groaned and put her hands on her bump. "Baby doesn't need to hear that. Neither does Mommy."

Lane snickered. "I don't think she meant that, you guys."

"I didn't!" Rory defended as her face reddened more. "Just...its nice having him there with me."

"Aww," Babette swooned. "That's great, honey."

Miss Patty leaned forward. "But really, how is the sex?"

Lorelai almost spit out her drink and Jess appeared behind them. "With that note, can I borrow my girlfriend for a moment?"

"Thank God," she said relieved.

The four of them watched as he took her hand and brought her upstairs. Miss Patty watched wistfully. "Oh, to be young again."

"Amen," Lorelai agreed but smiled at Luke, knowing she wouldn't trade anything for the world.

Upstairs, Jess led Rory into the apartment. He shut the door behind her and she looked around curiously. "So what did you want to show me?"

"Who said I had something to show you?" He teased.

She tilted her head to the side. "So you don't?"

"Maybe I just wanted to kiss you properly," he grinned.

"Jess," she said seriously. "Is there a present?"

"Maybe," he shrugged.

"Is that why you and Luke were up here when we came?" She kept going.

"Could be," he feigned innocence.

She walked up to him and put her hands on both sides of his face. "Boyfriend. Roomate. Man I love. Please please tell me what my present is or I might kill you on accident."

"But then you'll never get your present," he smirked.

Rory pouted. "Damn it."

Jess just laughed and took her hands from his face and held them in hers as he walked her over to the couch. He picked up a skinny rectangle that was wrapped.

"Feels like a book," she grinned. He watched as she opened it up and he saw her expression change when she noticed what it was. "Howl."

He nodded. "The 1986 version."

Rory flipped it over and looked at the back cover and then flipped through the pages. "Where did you find this?"

"Called a lot of rare bookstores," he replied. "Most only have the copy you own but I figured you might want this one, too. And you know Howl is important to us."

She smiled at him softly. "The first thing of mine you stole."

"Ouch," he joke winced. "I was hoping that was your heart."

"No, sorry," she laughed. "That came after you stole the book. Possibly right when I called you dodger."

"That soon?" He teased. "Damn, I wish I had known."

"Jess," she smiled warmly and climbed into his lap. "Thank you. I love it."

"Really?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Really," she nodded and kissed him on the lips.

He looked at her shamefully. "I wasn't really sure what to get you. And I wanted to get you something you and that book - its kind of us. It was the beginning and I thought you might like it."

"I more than like it," she urged. "I love it."

"Good," he smiled. "I'm glad."

She kissed him again. "You know this means you have to make margin notes in this one, too."

"No," Jess shook his head. "This was hard to find. I'm not defiling this edition."

Rory just pouted. "Well, I guess its a good thing Paris didn't get my original Howl then."

"What do you mean?" He looked at her curiously.

"Paris thought all my books were used," she explained. "Because of your margin notes. Senior year at Yale, she donated them to the library and we tried to get them back but they were gone."

"Huh," he said.

"I saved Howl, though," she explained. "Its in your box so Paris didn't get near it."

"My box?" He was confused. "What box?"

"My Jess box," she whispered. "The one I made of you when we broke up."

"You mean when I abandoned you," he corrected.

"I mean when we broke up," Rory replied.

He ignored her defense of his actions back then. "You know what this means, right? We get to rebuild the collection."

"I started to," she admitted. "But it just wasn't the same."

"Then we'll do it together," he brushed hair away from her face and smiled.

She was about to kiss him again when the door opened and Luke entered. "Jeez!"

Jess smirked as Rory jumped off of his lap. "Hey, Luke."

"Your mom wants you," he threw his thumb behind him to show he meant down in the diner.

"I'll be right down," she nodded.

Luke stood there awkwardly before turning and going back downstairs. Jess laughed once he was gone. "I don't think he'll ever be comfortable seeing us act like a couple, no matter how old we are."

"I'm his defense," she laughed. "I wouldn't really want to walk in on a family member acting like a couple with anyone."

"Good point," he agreed.

"I should go," she picked up her book.

Jess waved it off. "Leave it. I'll put it with my stuff."

"Okay," she smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he smiled back.

One last kiss and Rory was out the apartment door and downstairs where she heard the tail end of Babette and Miss Patty grilling her mother about the Danes men. This was gonna be a great trip.

...

Lorelai had convinced Luke to give Lane the day off where Jess had offered to take her spot for the day. He agreed buy only because it was Rory's birthday. His wife gleamed in victory when they left the diner.

They went shopping for the day. There was work talk, boy talk and baby talk. Rory tried to push aside the ache she felt when they talked about babies and wondered how old hers would have been now, if it'd be a boy or a girl. She spent the rest of the time scolding herself for thinking of something so sad.

Paris called around 1 pm to wish her friend a happy birthday. Rory was surprised but happy to hear from her and quickly asked for updates on Doyle and the kids. The conversation lasted a good ten minutes before she was called away.

They picked Evan up from school earlier and brought him over to play with Steve, Kwan and Christina at Lane's house. Rory was suspicious that Zach was nowhere in sight. It strangely reminded her of her going away party before she went on the Obama campaign.

At around six pm, Lorelai made up some excuse about needing to go back to the house. Lane left little Christina at her motherhouse. Rory laughed as she remembered how scared Jess was of Mrs. Kim back in high school. She wondered what he would think of her now.

The house was silent as they approached. She knew her suspicions were right when she saw the dark house. The six if them went to the door and were greeted by a large surprise when they walked inside. Rory laughed, not even surprised they threw her a surprise party.

Jess grinned at her from behind Luke and she smiled widely back. In that moment, she knew he had a part in this. She saw now how the addition was done, something she had not noticed quite so well the night before.

"Happy birthday!" Lorelai laughed and hugged her daughter to her side.

"Wow," Rory laughed.

"Good wow or bad wow?" Lane asked.

"Good," she nodded and looked down at the kids who already went ahead of them. Off in a corner, Rory saw a definite surprise.

Emily Gilmore.

It was clear she hadn't jumped up and yelled surprise with everyone else. But there she stood, a small smile on her face. Rory walked over to her and hugged her immediately. "Thank you for being here, grandma."

"Your boyfriend called me," she answered as they broke apart. "Requested that I come here for your birthday. I didn't know what was planned."

"I'm glad," she risked a look over to Jess. "Do you...do you think we can officially resume Friday night dinners?"

Emily's face looked brighter. "I would really like that. I miss seeing you girls so often."

"Me, too," she smiled.

"Next Friday?" Her grandmother wondered.

Rory smiled bigger. "I'll be there. So will mom."

She hugged her again, happy to get to see her again so soon. Rory really had missed her.

The party got really active and Lorelai brought out all the old games, even the pink feather boa. Rory laughed when she saw it and Luke rolled his eyes. Of course she still had it. Jess didn't get it but he went along with it as Lorelai came out with a cake that looked like Rory.

When Jess asked Lorelai how she thought of this stuff, she smiled and said, "You said like her 16th, right?"

Rory opened presents from everyone, blushing a very deep shade of red when she opened Babette and Miss Patty's gifts. She quickly covered them in their box and went to the next one. The three children there didn't need to know what it was.

Sookie had been the one to bake Rory's cake. She admitted it was a little hard to make her face right but she was proud. The birthday girl told her she did amazing on it and it looked exactly like it had years ago.

...

As the party was wrapping up, the guest list got smaller and smaller. Emily said a quiet goodbye to her daughter and grandchildren. Evan went to bed soon after and Lane and Zach had left as well because the boys had school the next day. The party was soon down to just the four of them. Luke cleaned up with Jess while Lorelai and Rory sat on the couch and relaxed. "Good birthday?"

Rory nodded. "Very good birthday."

"Good enough to rivel your precious ones?" She lifted the feather boa.

She laughed. "I think so. Top three, definitely."

"It was nice of your grandmother to come," the older woman said.

The younger one smiled. "We're gonna do Friday night dinners again."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Lorelai was stunned. "Would you prefer I said no?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'm just...surprised."

She said nothing, just patted her daughter's head and smoothed down her hair. "So Jess called me and set this all up."

"All of it?" She turned to face her mom. "I thought he was only part of it."

"Part of it," she shrugged. "The leader. Do words matter?"

Rory saw Jess as he walked in the kitchen and smiled. "I didn't know that."

"He was even gonna invite his mom," Lorelai explained. "But they brought Doula to a renaissance faire somewhere so they couldn't make it."

"Oh," she pouted. She had really wanted to see Doula, especially to try to make up for the last time she saw her at that dinner.

"Its definitely safe to say the boy loves you if he's willing to invite TJ somewhere," Lorelai laughed.

Rory had to laugh with her. "Yeah, he and Luke aren't exactly his biggest fans."

They giggled together as they dove into talking about the etch-a-sketch that neither Luke or Jess have accepted. TJ still brought the thing out and it always made Lorelai laugh to see Luke's reaction.

A ringing sound came through the house and Jess called out to Rory. "Your phone's ringing."

"Tell them I'm busy," she told him and kept talking to her mom.

It wasn't until after she heard Jess say hello and ask how did the caller get this number that her veins turned to ice.

Rory was off the couch in a flash and Lorelai was calling after her in confusion. Luke was standing there watching Jess, who had grown frozen as he listened to the other person talk. He hung up and the expression on his face was unreadable.

"Jen says happy birthday," he said icily.

"Who's Jen?" Lorelai asked as she walked into the kitchen.

Luke connected the dots and spike first. The two younger ones in the room were too locked in a staring contest to answer. "Jess' ex-girlfriend."

"How do you know Jess' ex?" Lorelai asked her daughter. "Rory?"

Jess decided to back up her question. "Yeah, how?"

Rory fidgeted as she fingered the sleeves of her sweater. "We work together."

"Fantastic," Jess muttered. "Fan-fucking-tastic."

"I was going to tell you," she defended.

"Yeah?" He asked. "When?"

"I -"

"Is this the girl you told me about?" Lorelai asked, not noticing until it was too late the expression of Jess' face was definitely readable now.

"You told your mom but not me?" He scoffed.

"I asked her how to tell you," she explained. "Its not like I wasn't going to tell you."

"Because this way was planned," he replied.

"Don't do that," Rory shook her head. "Don't be mad before I really get to explain."

"I think everyone just needs to take a moment here," Luke tried to I interrupt.

"I think so, too," Jess said and walked out of the kitchen. He grabbed his jacket on the way out the front door.

"Jess!" Rory followed after and grabbed her own jacket, leaving Luke and Lorelai in a silence in the kitchen.

"Rory, I need to go think, okay?" He didn't turn to look at her but he did stop walking.

She nodded though he couldn't see her. "Where will you go?"

"I don't know," he replied. "I'll be at the apartment above the diner later, okay?"

"When do we have to leave?" She asked.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I'll drive you there in time."

With that, he continued his walk off the property and was soon out of sight. Rory stood there, staring at the direction he went, her eyelashes sticking together from the wetness. Lorelai came out behind her and wrapped her arms around her shoulder.

"Come on, kiddo," she whispered. "Let's go back inside."

Luke went upstairs after cleaning was done. He decided to leave them alone for the moment. Lorelai held Rory as she started to cry, feeling definitely like a teenager again.

 **A/N: I know I said Jen wouldn't cause problems, but also I feel like they need this. And like I said, don't hate me please! It will worth it!**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: You all are the absolute BEST! Thank you so so much to the last chapter and the response. So sorry to leave that as the pre-Christmas chapter so in thanks for the positive words, I'm giving another! And you're right, angst is needed sometimes. And what's literati without angst? :P**

Forty-five minutes after leaving the Gilmore-Danes house, Jess still sat on the bridge. He twirled the cigarette between his fingers, staring at it. He knew he wouldn't smoke it but sometimes...it just felt nice to know he could. It'd been thirteen years since he had quit and he wasn't ready to give that up yet.

He remembered that night he stared a cigarette years and years ago, right before he had started to quit. Jess remembered the way the air smelt and he remembered the look on Rory's face as she walked towards him and the gas pump. He knew eight after they kissed, their first kiss as a couple, and she said she was glad he didn't smoke it that he would give it up.

And he had. For her. Because of her.

There was times like this however, where he wished he hadn't stopped. This was definitely one of those times. Jess wasn't sure why he still carried a full pack in his pocket. Maybe he just liked the option, that if he really needed one, it was right there and he could lit it up, inhale and exhale.

It all led back to Rory, though. Jess began to wonder when it hadn't led back to her. Definitely not when he left for California. Definitely not when he left Stars Hollow or visited her at Yale. When then? New York? No. Philadelphia? Not even then. He sighed, knowing what he tried to deny all along.

It had always been her.

Yet here he was, coning undone at the hands of Rory Gilmore once again. He sure as hell hadn't been perfect. He made the worst mistakes of them both but he thought they moved on from it all. He thought that they had changed and grew up and they couldn't make the same mistakes twice.

Jess realized he worried about the wrong mistakes. He had been so busy trying not to relive his mistakes, that he didn't think of hers. He remembered a flyer telling him that Rory had been hanging out with Dean and the winter carnival where she was going with Dean and that annoying little sister of his.

Worst of all, he remembered Philadelphia. Jess remembered thinking 'this is it' when he saw her in the doorway of Truncheon and smiling like he just found water in the desert. Rory was his water and it had turned out she had just been a mirage, something he had hoped for only to be let down.

He shoved the cigarette back into his pocket, into the carton, and stood up. The night was brisk, there was a small breeze and he walked with quickened pace back to the diner apartment.

Jess slid the key from above the door, opening the diner and locking it behind him. Quietly, he walked up the stairs and behind the curtain to the apartment. The door opened there too and he was surprised to see Rory sitting on the couch.

She looked nervous and her hands were twisted together. The sound of the door opening and closing caused her to look at the doorway and she wished she could read Jess' mind. "Hey."

"Hey," he walked further in but didn't sit next to her.

Rory kept note of that and nodded to herself. Of course she didn't deserve him treating her the way he had just an hour ago. "I'm so sorry, Jess. I really did mean to tell you."

He shook his head. "You say that but it almost seems like you wanted to keep it a secret."

"I didn't," she told him. "Its just - how do you tell someone their ex is now your co-worker?"

Jess shrugged, trying to downplay his feelings. "I don't know. I'd suggest actually telling them, though."

"She said you're still friends," Rory went on. "How come she didn't tell you?"

"Its not really her job to tell me," he answered. "You're my girlfriend. We talk every day. Fuck, Rory, we live together. I see Jen every once in a while and maybe we talk. We don't exactly call each other every week and ask how work was."

"You're mad," she stated. She didn't really need him to say anything to confirm it. His eyes said it all.

Jess nodded. "I don't want to be."

"Then can we talk?" She asked. "Please?"

"We have to get home," he replied and walked over to the bed and grabbed his bag.

Rory stood from the couch and followed him into the bedroom. He stood facing the bed, not doing anything but standing still. She walked behind him and wrapped her arms around him from behind. Her head leaned on his back and Jess put his hands over hers.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered after a minute. "I really didn't mean to keep it a secret."

He closed his eyes and looked down at his hand on hers. "But you did."

With that, he unwrapped her arms from him and threw stuff into his bag. Rory watched him and just stood there, frozen. "I need you to believe I'm sorry."

He didn't turn to look at her. His actions stilled though as he replied. "I do believe you are."

"Then why can't we talk?" She asked quietly. "I just... I want us to -"

Rory shuts her voice, unsure of what exactly she wants to say. Jess waits and when she doesn't continue, he asks, "Want us to what?"

"To be like we were," she finally says, the words coming to her. "The way we were just an hour ago, even."

"An hour ago you were having a secret friendship with my ex-girlfriend," he held in a scoff. "I'm not exactly eager to go back to being in the dark."

"Jess -" she shook her head.

"We should leave soon," he said. "Your stuff ready?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

Jess finally looked at her again and he noticed her eyes were shining, wet with tears that threatened to spill. He felt horrible seeing her looking like that. He felt even worse knowing it was because of him but he couldn't just brush aside how he felt either.

Rory sniffed to hold it in and pointed to where her stuff was. Jess grabbed his own stuff then hers. "I'm going to bring these to the car. Come when you're ready."

"Okay," she nodded and he was out the door.

It shut behind him softly, so different from past arguments. But this wasn't an arguement. Or at least she hoped. She sniffed again but this time let the few tears fall silently.

After she felt cried out at letting the tears slide down her cheeks, she wiped them quickly. Rory looked in the mirror to make sure it wasn't too obvious she had just been crying. Once okay with her look, she walked out the door and down to the diner, to Jess' car.

...

 _"This was a nice thing you did," Luke commented as he put silverware into the dish washer._

 _Jess shrugged. "It was nothing."_

 _"It wasn't nothing " his uncle noted. "It means a lot to Rory, to come here, to spend her birthday with her mom."_

 _"I could tell she wanted to," he said. "So I made it happen. No big deal."_

 _"Jess," Luke said seriously._

 _Jess stopped cleaning off the table and turned to him. "What?"_

 _"You two are good for each other," he admitted. Jess almost falls down, thinking he just imagined the words he just heard. "I was always rooting for you two, thinking you could be but now... Now I really think you are."_

 _"It's all her," Jess waved off the compliment. "She's the good one. I'm just along for the ride."_

 _"Its both of you," the older man explained. "You both have different childhoods and both of you lost your way and you found your ways back from it."_

 _"I don't know how I did," he scoffed. "I was such a fuck-up."_

 _"It doesn't matter," Luke shook his head. "It matters that you did it at all."_

 _"Then you should be thanking her," he nodded towards the couch where Rory and Lorelai sat. "Disappointing her...and you, for that matter, really clears a guy on how wrong he is."_

 _"You didn't disappoint me, Jess," Luke tells him._

 _Jess laughed. "Please. You kicked me out."_

 _"I didn't actually expect you to leave the next morning," he sighed. "I thought you'd be pissed off but cool down and we'd calmly talk about getting you to make up the credits."_

 _"Huh," he said. "I didn't know that."_

 _"You didn't give me a chance," Luke replied._

 _"I am sorry for that," Jess told him. "Rory's not the only person I didn't say goodbye to back then."_

 _The older man waved it off. "It's over now."_

 _"Hey Luke?" He asked his uncle. "Did you ever -"_

 _He is cut off by a phone ringing. Jess noticed it was Rory's phone but didn't look at the caller id. He called out to her to let her know. "Your phone's ringing."_

 _Rory answered him right away. "Tell them I'm busy."_

 _Jess shrugged and looked over to Luke who shrugged also. He picked it up without seeing the number. "Hello. Rory Gilmore's phone."_

 _"Jess?" A familiar voice on the other end asked. "Is that you?"_

 _He froze as he heard the voice. He knew that voice well. He heard it angry, he heard it sad, he heard it thoughtful and he heard it happy. He didn't understand. "How did you get this number?"_

 _"Me and Rory work together," Jen explained. "She has today off so I wanted to wish her a happy birthday."_

 _Jess nodded numbly. What? Worked together? She even knows it's Rory's birthday? This wasn't just working together. They had to have talked. They had to be...to be friends. "Huh."_

 _Jen's voice began to explain on the other end but he heard none of it as Rory entered the room. Her expression was afraid. She knew she was caught. He wondered how long she kept this from him as he stood there with her phone to his ear._

 _He didn't care for the explanations Jen was saying. He knew exactly who he needed them from and she stood there as stunned as him. Jess hung up, not caring he wasn't supposed to hate his ex. Right now, he did hate her. He hated her for being why he was looking at Rory the way he was._

 _She waited silently for him to speak first. There was no apologies, no regret in her eyes. That just fueled to his anger. The only reason Rory cared was because Jess now knew she was hiding something, he thought._

 _He put her phone down kindly to keep a pretense. "Jen says happy birthday."_

...

Neither of them speak the whole ride home. Jess fiddled with the radio if he really didn't like a song but Rory kept her hands to herself. She curled them into her sleeves in her lap. Occasionally, she looked over at Jess to see his expression. He had kept a poker face the entire time.

Jess pulled up to her building and parked. It was late and there was barely anyone out. He was out of the car first and grabbing their bags from the trunk. Rory sat in the front seat and watched him in the mirror before finally unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing out.

They walked quietly up the stairs and then quietly into the apartment. The bags were put down and she instantly thought of how it had been here twenty four hours ago. She thought of how happy she had been and how much she had looked forward to her birthday. Rory wished somehow she could only think of before that phone call.

Jess walked into the bedroom and came out with a pillow and blanket. Rory watched him sadly. "What are you doing?"

"I think I'll sleep out here tonight," he replied.

Rory walked toward him and he turned to look at her, the stuff in his hands landing on the couch. "Yell at me."

"What?" He asked.

"Yell at me," she repeated. "Get whatever it is out. Tell me how I made you feel."

Jess sighed. "You want to know how you made me feel?"

She nodded. "Tell me."

"I'd rather not," he shook his head and went back to fixing the blanket.

Rory grabbed his arm and turned him to face her. "The only way we'll get through this without it building is if we do it now."

"We never did before," he said darkly.

She nodded in agreement. "Come on, Jess. Tell me."

"You really wanna know?" She nodded again. "Okay, fine. Remember how I made you feel like high school? That's what you did to me tonight."

Rory didn't expect that answer. "What do you mean?"

"You remember Patty's show?" He laughed without humor. "You remember the flyer? You kept hanging out with Dean from me."

"We weren't hanging out -" she said weakly and even the words now sounded wrong.

"You kept seeing your ex a secret," he explained. "Its the same thing. Only now its my ex you're keeping a secret."

"That was one time," she defended.

"The carnival?" He questioned. "You and Dean had coffee and set up a friendship and then you were meeting at the carnival together with his sister."

She was shocked he was bringing this stuff up. She shook her head, half in denial and half in surprise this was what he was telling her. "That was coincidence."

"Do you know what Dean said to me that night?" He asked and she was silent, one shake of her head. "He told me how you two were friends. Like me and you had been friends and I quote this - look how that turned out for you."

"What?" She asked. "Why didn't you -"

"Tell you?" He smirked. "Because you and everyone else thought Dean was such a good guy. And there he was, telling me how he was your friend so he can get you back."

"You should have told me," she accused. "I thought everything was fine!"

"Really?" He asked. "What time? When you thought we got into the fight before dinner with your grandma or when you said he wouldn't sucker punch me? Because I remember he did exactly that at the party."

"Oh, so you want to talk about the party," she said sarcastically.

"I want to tell you how I feel," he countered. "That's what you wanted right?"

Rory just agreed. "Right."

"Hey, maybe you should know about my other ex's," he said. "I met Shane a month after you left."

"Shane?" She whispered. Why was he bringing that up? "What does Shane have to do with now?"

He ignored her question. "We were sleeping together when it was barely a week since we met. She was there, you weren't. It worked out."

Rory felt the sting. "So you just start sleeping with some random girl you barely know because I was in Washington?"

"I slept with a girl who didn't come with baggage," he corrected. "Baggage meaning a boyfriend. One who didn't kiss me and told me to tell no one and ran off."

She nodded, a scowl formed on her face. "Uh-huh. Anything else?"

"We had sex in my car," he said casually. "It was why you found the bra that one time."

"I figured that," she said in a bored tone.

"There was a bunch of girls in California," he pointed out. "Most were to try to forget you. But there was even more in New York."

"I really don't want to hear about how many people you slept with," she spat and started to walk away.

Jess followed her. "I'm doing what you asked, Rory."

"I didn't ask for a recap of your sex life," she turned to face him.

They were so close to each other. If this was any other time, one of them would just have to lean in a little and they'd be kissing. But this wasn't any other time. Jess was mad and hurt and Rory was quickly getting to those feelings, too.

Jess noticed the proximity and backed up. He couldn't be that close to her, not right now. He walked back over to the couch and she followed this time. "I slept with Dean. A week after you asked me to run away with you."

He closed his eyes and counted to ten. He knew they had gotten back together, he just hadn't known when. "So after I poured my heart out to you, and you said you wanted to come with me by the way?"

"Yes," she answered. "It was in my bedroom at Mom's house. I went back for CD's for the inn and Dean came over."

He turned back to her. "And you're telling me this because what? You lying to me wasn't enough? You have to stick the knife in further?"

"Its exactly what you were doing," she countered. "Telling me about Shane or how you had sex in California - _after you left me!_ \- you think I want to hear about that?"

"No, I don't," he said. "But that's the point, isn't it?"

"So what?" Rory crossed her arms over her chest. "Are we just ripping open the past now?"

"I don't know," he looked down then back up, at her face. Her blue eyes were shining again, as if she might cry again. "Look, maybe..maybe we should just sleep now. I'm angry, you're angry..."

"Okay," she nodded. "Maybe we should."

Rory started to walk away and Jess finished setting up the couch for himself. She turned near the hall that lead to her bedroom and the bathroom. "You're acting like a jerk right now and I hate it. I hate even more that I want you stay with me rather than out here even if you deserve it."

He watched as she walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind her. Jess slumped down onto the couch and rubbed his eyes. He probably wasn't going to sleep at all tonight.

...

 _Lorelai nudged Rory in the shoulder while Lane walked a little ahead of them. "Have you figured out a way to tell him?"_

 _She looked at her mother. "What's the least likely way for him to be hurt?"_

 _"You didn't do anything to hurt him," her mother replied._

 _"I'm keeping something from him," she sighed. "Something he's done before and I know how it feels to be on the receiving end."_

 _"Then tell him tonight," she urged. "After the party. That way if he's upset about it, it will be after and you'll be alone to calmly talk about it."_

 _"You think?" She made a face. Rory just wanted to get it over with. She felt sick everytime she mentioned work to Jess._

 _Lorelai nodded. "I know."_

 _Rory considered this for a moment. If she waits, then they can discuss it and she can explain her reasons for not telling him sooner. It won't make a scene at the party and it wouldn't ruin something he helped put together for her birthday. "Okay."_

 _"Hun?" The older woman asked as the younger one looked back at her. "I've been the one holding secrets before, too. You think you're doing the right thing but then it comes out and what you kept is so little compared that you hid it."_

 _"Talking about dad?" She inquired._

 _"Him, everything with April..." Lorelai trailed off. "It just made for big blowouts. And by blowouts, I mean our two break-ups."_

 _"I don't want to break up," she worried. "I don't even want a blowout."_

 _"Sometimes you can't stop them," she replied. "But you can prevent them."_

 _"I'll tell Jess tonight," she decided. "After the party."_

 _Lorelai wrapped her arm with her free hand around her daughter. "That's my girl."_

 _"You sure he won't be mad?" She asked, sounding very much like her teenage self._

 _"I can't tell you if he'll be mad or not, sweets," she answered honestly. "But I can tell you Jess would much rather hear that kind of thing from you."_

 _Rory thinks back to high school, to after Jess had left. She remembered going to see Luke the day after Lorelai told her he was gone and needing to see for herself._

 _She had known he was gone. The morning on the bus - something was off. She hadn't noticed the duffel bag Luke told her Jess had packed but she knew he wouldn't take a bus that early. Rory wondered all day just where he was going and when she visited Luke, she got her answer._

 _He told her about how Jess' dad had came, 'made a reappearance after a eighteen year old diaper run' were his words. Luke told Rory about Jess not graduating, about skipping class to work at Wal-Mart. In her mind, she recalled the night of the inn fire when she asked him about it. He had lied to her about that too._

 _Slowly, her mind clicked why Jess had been so moody at the party. He had been excited about it and seeing Lane's band play. He and Lane had become good friends and she remembered how happy it made her to see Lane see him almost as she did._

 _Luke mentioned the fight between him and Jess. He told Rory he had kicked Jess out, not realizing Jess would actually leave. He hadn't meant to give up on him. She realized she had given up on him, too. She hadn't come to see him after the party and she hadn't even asked why he was on the bus that morning._

 _Rory recalled how it had felt to be on the receiving end of that information. She recalled how it felt to not hear it from the person she should have heard it from. She nodded in agreement with her mother. "I'm definitely telling him tonight."_

...

In the morning, Rory came out of her bedroom to find a showered and ready Jess in the living room. "Morning."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked right through her. "Morning."

"You're up early," she commented.

"Couldn't sleep," he shrugged. "I've been dressed for over an hour."

Rory looked down at her loose T-shirt and shorts. She felt underdressed next to his black T-shirt and jeans. She didn't like that she felt that way, not in front of him. "Last night?"

"Last night," he nodded. "The past twelve years...you pick."

Now she nodded. "I know what you mean."

"I also couldn't get the image of you having sex with Dean in your bedroom out of my mind," he said stiffly.

Rory felt her throat go dry and she regretted saying anything about that the previous night. "I shouldn't have told you about that."

"Can I ask a question?" Another nod. "Did you - did you do it because of me? Do you blame me for it?"

Rory looked down at her feet and wrapped herself into her arms. She wished he hadn't asked that. "No."

"To which part?" He continued.

"I don't blame you," she whispered.

He understood immediately. "So you did do it because of me."

"That's not entirely true," she shook her head.

He waited. "Then what is?"

She's silent and the quiet is louder than any words. Jess just walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer out. She followed slowly behind. "Its 7 am."

"I can't have this conversation sober," he admitted. "I can't calmly talk about how me coming to your dorm and telling you we're meant to be together led to you sleeping with Dean. Dean. Of all people."

"Its not like he was a stranger," she defended.

"It'd probably feel better if it was," he replied.

"It was my virginity," she scoffed, hating that she was getting annoyed.

His eyes froze. Jess had assumed she hadn't with anyone her freshmen year but actually hearing her say the word...he wasn't sure how he felt.

Rory noticed the change in his demeanor and backtracked. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" He asked. "I started it, didn't I?"

She eyed the beer in his hand. He had yet to either open or drink it. "But I don't want to do this. I don't want to rehash the past because I stupidly waited too long to tell you something."

"I don't even think its about that anymore," he told her. Rory gave him a look of wonderment. "Our history, this was probably bound to happen sometime."

"Maybe," she agreed. "Doesn't mean I want to do it."

"Me, either," he smiled softly.

Jess put the beer back in the fridge and walked past Rory and out of the kitchen. She trailed behind him. "So what now?"

"I've been thinking," he started. "I've been awake a while."

"Yeah?" She asked. "What?"

"Maybe I'll go somewhere," he explained. "Give us some space."

Now she was stunned. "What? No."

"It won't be forever," he told her.

"Leaving in the middle of a fight isn't a solution!" She yelled. "That just makes things worse!"

"And staying here while we walk on eggshells and never talk to each other about anything?" He was yelling too now. "That's better? Us learning to resent each other?"

"We won't," she shook her head and stared him down when she was done.

"You'd bet on that?" Jess said. "You'd risk whatever chance we have on we might not grow to hate each other?"

"Yes!" She exclaimed. "Because we won't! If I don't hate you now for all that you've done in the past and you don't hate me for all I've done then we won't."

He shook his head now. "You can't promise that. And I don't want to hate you. I can't risk that I could."

"Then don't hate me," she pleaded and walked toward him. "Its so easy."

"Rory..." He whispered.

"Don't 'Rory' me!" She yelled and fisted his shirt in her hands. "You're being a coward."

"I'm trying to save us," he told her. "Even if we don't make it as a couple, then I at least want you as a friend. I can't not have you in my life again."

"Neither can I," she replied. "But leaving - its not the answer, Jess."

"You said it, Rory," he explained. "I was like high school. Maybe I still am. And leaving is what I do best, right?"

"Not anymore," she told him. He backed away from her and walked to the bedroom to grab something to pack with. Rory ran after him and grabbed the duffel from him. "You're not leaving."

"Yes, I am," he told her.

"And what?" She asked. "You're going back to Philadelphia?"

"Was actually thinking I'd visit Lily," he shrugged. She dropped the bag and he picked it up, instantly going to pack.

"California," she stated numbly. "Again."

"Don't say it like that," he turned to her then back to the bag.

"How else am I supposed to say it?" She questioned him. "That's exactly where you ran off to when we first broke up."

Now Jess spun on his heels. "We're not breaking up."

"Why not?" She countered. "You're so determined to believe that if you don't leave right this second, we'll fail. If you're gonna have that perspective and that much faith in this relationship, maybe we should."

He stared at her blankly. "You don't mean that."

Rory kept a neutral face. "Of course I do."

"Fine," he turned back to the bag and stuffed even more inside.

"Fine," she huffed and grabbed the stuff she needed for her morning shower routine. She was out the door in seconds and Jess was standing there shoving his clothes into the duffel. He was glad she hadn't seen his face as she left the room.

Rory went into the shower, the water hot and calm. She leaned her hands on the walls to steady herself. Honestly, she wasn't sure she could stand straight right now. She counted her breaths to calm down, telling herself when she comes out of here, she'll tell Jess she didn't mean it.

She felt paralyzed. Her shower rushed by as fast as she could and without really getting ready, she ran out of the bathroom in her towel and into the bedroom. It was empty. Rory went to the dresser and saw his clothes gone from there. She checked the closest and any trace of Jess was gone from there, too.

Hesitantly, she looked at the bookshelves. All of his books were still there and that gave her hope. She searched the rest of the apartment for Jess but she was alone. Finally, she noticed a piece of paper on the fridge they hadn't been there before.

Rory walked towards it slowly. Her wet hair dripped onto the floor and she pulled her towel tighter. She was afraid of what the note said.

In Jess' unmistakable handwriting, it read:

 _Rory -_

 _I don't know if you're serious about wanting to break up. I know I don't want to. But if that's what you want, I'll have to accept it. I called Jimmy. He says I'm more than welcome to visit so I'm gonna head out there. I'll see you soon._

 _\- Jess_

She read and reread it five more times. Why had she said that? She didn't want to break up. It was the last thing she wanted but she had said it and he was gone. How long had she been in the shower? How far wohld he have gotten by now?

Rory dressed in a daze. She didn't care what she wore or how it looked. Her mind was elsewhere. She remembered twenty-four hours ago when Jess and her were happy. Why had it turned like this so soon?

Soon, she headed out the door to go to work. One last sigh and she locked the door behind her. Rory walked down the hallway and down the stairs and prepared for the day.

 **A/N: I really really hope you still don't hate me! It kills me to even write these scenes and it almost kind of needs to happen. They never discussed the past and being happy can only last so wrong without problems, right? But I promise, it *will* be worth it. Trust me.**


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of the reviews! You all amaze me by continuing to write them and care so much about the story! And I'm so glad none of you hate me! :P**

 **Also this chapter is a tiny bit filler, stuff happens but not entirely big stuff for the first parts but it's a part of the story and I hope you like it :) Also, happy new year!**

Rory stared off into space in her office. Jen sat across from her and was going over an article she had written. When she got no response to a question, she waved her hands in front of Rory and tried to get her attention.

"Rory?" She called. "Earth to Rory?"

She turned towards Jen and instantly felt guilty. "I'm sorry, what?"

Jen looked at her wonderingly. "Do you not want to do this right now?"

"What?" She shook her head and straightened up in her seat. "No. We can finish."

"Are you okay?" She asked. "Ever since your birthday, you've been distant. Is it the phone call? I'm sorry I called -"

"No," Rory cut her off. "Its not the phone call. Not entirely."

"Then what?" She questioned. "I tried explaining to Jess, too but he didn't let me."

That got her attention. "You talked to Jess?"

She was surprised how much attention that part got. "Only when he answered."

"Oh," she slumped in her seat.

Jen noticed the change. "Why? Haven't you?"

"No," Rory answered.

"But you live together," she argued.

She felt the pang at the words and tried her best at replying without any tears. "Not anymore."

It clicked in Jen's head and she let out a humorless laugh. Rory looked at her strangely before she spoke. "Of course he would do that."

"Its my fault," she groaned. "I didn't tell him and then I stupidly said we should break up when he suggested leaving."

"Uh-huh," the other girl nodded. "What was he more upset about, me or it being a secret?"

"I think it was the secret part," she sighed. "But it became more than that. Things were said, past things, not the total worst of it but bad enough."

"So talk to him," she shrugged. "Go down to Philadelphia and get him."

"That's the other thing," Rory sighed. "He's not in Philadelphia. He went to California."

"California?" She almost exclaimed. "Why did he go there?"

"His sort of family leaves there," she answered. "His dad and the woman he's been with for years. Her daughter, too."

"How long will he be gone?" She asked.

"So far its been a week," she shrugged. "So I'm guessing longer than that."

"So go get him," she nudged.

"What?" Rory laughed now. "How? I don't even know where."

"Where does his dad live?" She asked.

"Somewhere in Venice Beach," she remembered. "Luke could know where."

"So ask him."

"What if he doesn't even want to see me?"

"You're Rory," she rolled her eyes as if being Rory explained everything. "Of course he'd want to see you."

"I doubt it," she said. "You didn't see him. You didn't see his face when he was on the phone or when we got back to New York."

"Call him," she suggested.

"I did," she stared at her pen and tapped it on the desk. "I hung up the first few times and once he actually answered so I hung up again."

She made a face. "Didn't he know it was you?"

"I may have called from a payphone," she said in a low voice.

"Payphone!" Jen gasped and let out a laugh. "They still exist?"

Rory actually found herself laughing too. "They do! There's actually a few down by Times Square especially."

"I have to look for these," she shook her head in amazement. Her face softened then. "Look, I don't really know you. But I do know Jess and what he told me about you."

"What did he tell you?" Rory asked against her better judgement.

"That he was in love with you from when you met," she explained. "That your timing together sucked."

"Sounds right," she agreed, remembering his speech to her in her dorm room. That set off a whole new round of guilt. Her face fell.

Jen seemed to notice that. "What? Something I said?"

"Something I said," she whispered.

...

When Rory got home, she threw her purse and jacket down with a loud sigh. The place seemed so empty ever since Jess had left and it felt twenty times lonelier than when he went to Philadelphia.

She grabbed coffee and put into the pot, needing the familiar taste. While the coffee bewed, she went to sit on the couch. Rory soon got lost in her thoughts and her phone ringing brought her back to the moment.

For a second, she almost believed it could be Jess. He hadn't picked up his other stuff yet and she wondered if he wanted it back. When she saw the name on her screen, she almost sighed in disappointment and then guilt came.

"Hey, mom," she answered.

"Remind me why I am doing this again," Lorelai said.

Rory laughed. "Doing what?"

"Letting another human being take over my body," she answered simply.

"Oh, have the aliens returned?" Rory teased.

"Don't joke with mommy." She imagined her mother pouting on the other end. "I can barely see my feet."

"You're not that big," she tried to make her feel better.

And it didn't work. "'That big'. Meaning I am big, just not 'that big'."

"Have you had decaf today?" She asked.

"I didn't," Lorelai told her.

Rory shook her head. "Maybe that's the problem."

Lorelai gave a 'ha' on the other end. "Or decaf is the problem."

"You'll have coffee soon enough," Rory said. "Maybe let Luke give you the limit. Make yourself stop after."

"Oh, honey," she said affectionately. "You're so cute when you think mommy can only have a limited amount of coffee."

"How can I be cute if you can't see me?" She teased again.

"Because you look like a little kid when they go to the mall to see Santa," she answered.

"Oh!" She laughed. "Well, that explains it!"

"Besides Luke told me he wouldn't because I might sneak more," she said defeated.

"Poor baby," Rory curled her legs underneath her on the couch. "So he knows you. Imagine the surprise."

"Hey, you think maybe Jess would convince him for me?" She asked excitedly. "They're close, funnily enough. Maybe he'll listen to him."

"I wouldn't know," she said. "Jess isn't talking to me."

"What do you mean?" Lorelai asked, instantly turning out of joking mode and into mother mode.

"Remember my birthday?" She asked. "We kind of fought after we got back."

"You fought?" She questioned. "How bad?"

"It went from Jess telling me when he started sleeping with Shane to e telling him about Dean," she cringed at the memory.

"Oh, hon," Lorelai whispered.

"He left," Rory admitted. She had delayed telling her mother about it. Partly because Jess wasn't just a boyfriend, he was family, sort of. The other part was she hoped he would come back.

She heard her mom make a noise on the other end. "Where did he go? He's still in New York or -"

"No," she said. "He's not in New York."

The older woman sighed. "Well where is he?"

"California," she mumbled.

"Excuse me," she said. "Did you say California?"

Rory was about to explain how he told her he'd go see Lily, his kind of sister when a new voice came on the line. "Jess went to California?"

"Yes," she let out a breath. "He did."

Luke cursed under his breath. She imagined her mom being proud of his swearing. "I'm gonna kill that kid."

"Luke," Rory tried. "He didn't do anything."

"He left!" His voice rose. "I can't believe he did this. Again."

"He only went to visit Lily," she cut in.

"What?" Luke asked. He had heard about Lily before but was still surprised to hear about her. "That's all?"

Lorelai must have grabbed the phone back from her husband because she spoke next. "Is he coming back?'

"Probably," she pulled at the toes of her sock. "He still has work."

"Not to Philly," Lorelai explained. "To New York."

"I don't know," she answered truthfully.

"Hon," she started. "Do you want to talk?"

"Not really," she shook her head for no one. "I want to talk to him."

"So talk to him," she urged.

"He's gone," she said.

"So go down to California and talk to him," Lorelai suggested.

"You are not the first person to suggest that," Rory told her.

"All the more reason to do it," there was a smile in her words.

She considered that for a moment. "Put Luke back on?"

...

Jess walked along the boardwalk by himself. The day was cool out and it just felt nice. He had left his phone back at his hotel room and stood nearby a bench. It was the most freeing he felt since getting here.

A voice called his name and he looked over in the direction it came. Lily walked up to Jess with a big smile. "Guess what?"

"What?" He smiled back at her.

"Brandon is coming to dinner tomorrow night," she beamed. "And you can meet him."

"That's great," he told her. Brandon was Lily's boyfriend of five months. Sasha had tried to meet him sooner but Lily was too afraid the combined parenting of Jimmy and Sasha might scare him away. "What makes this time different?"

"You're here," she smiled. "Itd be nice to have my big brother there."

"You do remember I'm not your brother, right?" He teased her.

"Shut up," she hit him. "You are, okay?"

Jess started walking and Lily linked his arm with hers. "Does this mean I get to see Jimmy be protective?"

She snorted. "Probably. He's still in denial I'm older than twenty."

"Well, that could be fun," he smirked.

"So you'll come?" She asked excitedly. "You won't stay in your hotel room and brood?"

"I do not brood," he defended.

That only made her laugh more. "Yes, you do. You did then and you do now."

"Do not," he kept arguing.

"You know you do," she teased. "Rory?"

"Yep," he said.

"But you were back together!" She exclaimed. "What happened?"

"Seems the past doesn't want us escape it as much as we try," he said.

Lily stopped walking and stood in front of him. "What did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything," he answered. "She's the one who said we should break up."

She gasped. "No! Why? You love each other!"

He shrugged. "Guess that's not enough."

"You are such an idiot," she shook her head.

"Gee, thanks," he said sarcastically. "Got any more compliments?"

"Do all the synonyms for stupid count?" She wondered out loud.

"They just all equal stupid so no," he said.

"How about this one?" They began walking again down the boardwalk. "You're as stupid as your dad."

He laughed. "Okay, that hurts."

"He did this exact thing with my mom," she explained. "He continuously let her break up with him years ago. It was so infuriating."

"How many times did they break up?" He wondered.

"I think five times," Lily nodded. "Yeah, its got to be five."

"And?" He asked.

She rolled her eyes. "And they got back together. Obviously."

Jess leaned towards her and messed up her hair. "You remind me of me, you know."

"Watch the hair," she patted it down. "And why? Warn me before the boyfriend comes."

"Smart mouth," he answered.

"Huh," she grinned.

He poked her now. "That, too."

...

After dinner that night, Jess offered to help Sasha clean the dishes. He stood there in the kitchen with her as she stared at him wiping off a plate. "What?"

"Just wondering," she shook her head.

Jess turned the water off and faced her. "Wondering what?"

"Why you're really here, first of all," she started.

"I came for a visit," he explained. "Work let me have some free time."

"You've been here a week," she noted.

"And?" He waited.

Sasha was used to this kind of an attitude. She looked toward the door to the dining room table where the source of it was. "And you don't really come here much so why now?"

"No reason," he shrugged. "Just wanted to see you guys."

"Uh-huh," she nodded. "Now tell me the real answer."

He didn't fall for it. Jess was used to this, too. "How about you tell me the rest of the things you're wondering?"

She smirked back at him. Sasha's smirk could revil his own. "Why you don't stay here with us instead of a crummy hotel."

"I'm not gonna stay here," he told her.

"Why not?" She crossed her arms. "You did before."

"I was eighteen," he defended. "With no money. My only possessions was in a duffel bag."

"Hmm," she uncrossed her arms and nodded.

"What?" He asked. "You want me not have money?"

"No," Sasha shook her head. "I was hoping you'd just want to stay with us."

"Okay," he said after a minute and in a low voice. "I'll stay here then."

...

The next morning Jess was awoken to dogs barking. Last night, after dinner, he went back to the hotel and told them he was checking out. They were surprised at first but let him. Sasha had welcomed him back with open arms. Jimmy grumbled a hi.

He groaned at the sound, hoping whatever made them bark would stop. When it did, he heard the front door open and the distant sound of voices. Jess got out of bed and walked toward the voices, believing this to be a dream.

His breath almost stopped when he reached the door. Jess stood frozen as he looked at his father than back to the person that caused the dogs to get excited. Her blue eyes stared right back at him.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," he replied.

Jimmy looked between them. "I guess I don't have to tell him you're here."

"You could give us some privacy, though," Jess told him.

The older man laughed. "My house."

"You want to be the one that tells Sasha I went back to the hotel?"

"Not really, no," Jimmy stopped laughing. "She'll give me that look the first time you stayed here."

"Then I guess you better go," he told him.

"I don't wanna be a problem," she said.

"It's fine," Jess shrugged. "We can go in my room."

Rory started to walk into the doorway and began to follow Jess when Jimmy shouted, "I better not hear any loud noises from in there!"

Jess closed the door behind her and she looked around the small room. The bed was about the only real piece of furnirure in the room. There was shelves and his duffel thrown on the opposite end. "So."

"What are you doing here, Rory?" He asked.

Her mouth opened and closed. He had been teasing out there with his dad and with her, his expression turned hard. It almost looked like he had built his walls back up. "I wanted to see you."

"I thought when you break up with someone, it means you don't want to see them anymore," he retorted.

Rory sighed. "I guess I deserve that."

He crossed his arms expectantly. "Come on, Ror. Why are you here?"

"We have to talk," she could only come up with. On the plane over, she rehearsed many different ways this could go. None of them prepared her for how nervous she felt.

"If you're gonna put more vivid pictures I don't want in my head...," he said. "Then I'll pass."

"That's not what -" she stopped and mentally kicked herself again. "I'm sorry I told you about that."

"I deserved it," he confessed. "I was being a dick."

"You were," she agreed. "But it was a low blow. I know everything with you and Dean and I should have just kept my mouth shut."

"So you were trying to hurt me," Jess said in a calm voice.

Rory just nodded. "A little."

"It worked," he told her. "I'm having a little trouble getting it out of my head now. Just seeing you standing in front of me, I can't help but think of him touching you the way I did."

"Jess -"

"What?"

"Come back," she said.

He didn't think he heard Rory right. "What?"

"Come back," she repeated. "We don't have to work it all out now but I'd like to be on the same side of the country, at least."

"I'm not coming back yet," he shook his head as he looked down to the floor.

Rory stepped closer which made him take a step back. "Why not?"

"You broke up with me," he replied. "Remember that?"

She nodded. "Yes, but I didn't mean it."

"How do you not mean telling someone you shouldn't be together?" He questioned once his gaze was back up.

Rory shuffled her feet. "I was mad."

"I guess that makes it all okay, right?" He asked.

"No, it doesn't," she agreed with that, too. "But I still didn't mean it and I still want to talk."

His face softened and lost the sarcastic look. "I don't know if I can."

This time when she stepped closer, he didn't back up. "Why?"

"Because it seems like no matter what we do," he explained. "No matter how much we love each other, how much we don't want to hurt the other, we always do."

She lifted her hand and put her calm to his cheek. Jess leaned onto it and she was reminded of years earlier. "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Neither do I," he agreed.

Rory let her hand go free and backed up, towards the door. "I'm not leaving here yet. I'm staying until we talk."

"What about work?" He found himself asking.

"I told the other boss - the male one," she said. Jess knew little of the guy boss. He had heard more about Leslie. "I asked for a few days then they're gonna send me stuff."

He shook his head. "Just go home, Rory."

Her face fell at his words but she remained strong in front of him. "No."

"Rory..."

"No," she repeated. "I didn't come here just to go back. I came here to make you talk to me."

"And what if it just makes everything worse?" He stared at her.

"I don't know," her fingers gripped the doorknob. "But maybe if we get it all out, it could make things better."

With that, she opened and shut the door. Jess tried to follow her out despite having told her to leave. Rory walked right out the front door and past Jimmy and Sasha on the couch. They seemed as surprised as him.

Jess went slowly back to his room and shut the door behind him. He couldn't wrap his brain around what was happening. She had come after him. Rory Gilmore came after him. She had never done that before. If it wasn't so hard for him right now, he would love her even more for it.

There was a knock on the door then it opened slowly. Jimmy stood there in the doorway. "So that was the infamous Rory."

"That was her," Jess sat down on the bed.

"She's pretty," he commented.

Jess nodded. "That she is."

"What happened now?" Jimmy asked. "She why you're here?"

"Pretty much," another nod.

"And you just let her leave?"

"I had to."

Jimmy waited. "Explain."

Jess sighed. "If I let her stay, if we talked, then we'll make up and I don't know if I can do that right now. We tried brushing the past aside and somehow secret keeping brings it all back up."

"So maybe that's a good thing," he added.

"Its not," he shook his head twice. "I rather us fight now before it gets any worse then continue the fight so that we never want to speak to each other."

"Maybe that won't happen," the older man replied.

"Or maybe its already in motion," Jess countered. "Maybe just the thought of her is killing me right now and her being here is making me feel even worse."

"She just wants to see you," he supplied.

"Or she wants to break me," he added. "She's done it before with a visit."

Jimmy doesn't get the chance to reply because Jess has grabbed his jacket and walked around him to get to the door. He doesn't care he's wearing pajamas. He won't go far. Outside, he puts his jacket on and pulled put a cigarette.


	38. Chapter 38

The phone rang three times before a voice picked up on the other end. Jess waited patiently as his uncle came on the line with a disgruntled, "Hello?"

"Hey, Uncle Luke," he said sweetly. "You have anything you wanna share with me?"

Luke made a sound on the other end. "So you've seen her."

"That depends on who you mean," he replied. "Could be the Queen. Could be Meryl Streep. Or maybe its my now ex-girlfriend."

"Cut the act, Jess," he sighed.

Jess immediately did as he was told. "Did you know she was coming here?"

"She may have told me," he answered. "After Lorelai asked me where Jimmy lives."

"Fuck," he whispered. "Did you consider asking me?"

"What would I ask you?" He said. "If I asked you, you'd have said you don't want to see her."

Jess stood up straighter as he leaned against the kitchen wall. No one else was home and he was grateful he chose now to make the call. "Because, right now, I don't want to see her."

"Oh, come on," Luke said. "So she kept knowing Jen from you. She just didn't know how to tell you. You don't have to go to Jimmy over that."

"I didn't go to Jimmy over...that," he sighed.

Luke groaned to himself. "What did you do?"

"I made it worse," he rubbed his eyes, as if it would erase what happened.

Luke turned into protective mode. He wasn't sure if it was protective over him or Rory, though. "How must worse did you make it?"

Rory, of course its her. "I said some...things. I was mad and I mentioned things I shouldn't have."

"Such as?"

"Remember Shane?"

"Jesus," Luke said under his breath.

"Yeah," Jess nodded in agreement. He regretted that part most of all, especially since he hasn't been prepared for her to retaliate about Dean.

"You're an idiot," Luke told him.

"No," Jess replied. "I'm an ass."

"So talk to her," he urged. "She's down there anyway. Might as well actually talk."

"I don't know if I can do that," he confided.

Another sigh on the other end and then, "Why not?"

"Because..." He sighed too this time. Did he really have to tell him? "Because I kind of threw in her face that I've...you know, been with, other girls before and after we were together the first time."

"You're right," Luke agreed. "You were an ass."

"And I'm a hypocrite," he admitted. "Because she told me something that I don't have the right to be mad about or to judge. And I'm not judging it. I'm just mad at who it involves."

"Is this about Dean?" Luke guessed.

Jess swore under his breath. "Does everyone know everything in that town? Wait. Don't answer that."

"Its okay to be mad about him," the older man told him.

"Really?" He wondered. "Because after what I said to her, it seemed like that was the perfect way to get back at me. She should be madder than me."

"Is she?" He asked.

"I don't know," he switched the phone to his other ear. "She's here, though so that says something."

"Are you?" He asked.

"I don't want to be," he told him the same thing he said to her.

"Then why are you?" He continued.

"Because its Dean," he sighed. "Because no one knows more than her and you how Dean makes me feel."

"Then tell her that," Luke urged. "Don't tell me."

Jess just sighed in reply.

...

Rory stuffed her hands into her pockets as she walked along the boardwalk. There was a slight breeze as she walked and it just felt nice. She decided to do a touristy thing while she waited for Jess to call. She couldn't stop her thoughts from turning to him, though.

Everytime she thought of how her birthday ended and when she went to see him at Jimmy's, she felt guilty. This whole thing started because she kept something from him. It didn't justify the after but she hurt him first by not telling him which made him want to hurt her.

She couldn't help but feel like this was their pattern.

Her walk continued a little further down the boardwalk until she reached a bench. Once seated, Rory pulled her phone out of her pocket and she clicked the gallery up. Her phone had a cheesy phone-chosen wallpaper for now. She had changed the picture of her and Jess that it was.

After a few minutes, she felt like there was eyes on her. At first, she thought maybe Jess was there. Rory took her eyes off her phone and looked up to see a girl about ten years younger than her staring.

The girl walked closer now, having seen Rory's face. It was almost like she recognized her. Her expression was almost excited, like she found something unexpected. Maybe she had, Rory thought as the girl made her way to stand right in front of her.

"Are you Rory?" The girl asked her.

"Yes?" She asked skeptically. Who would know her in California? Then something clicked in her head, a sort of sister Jess had told her about after her confession about the baby she'd lost.

"I'm Lily," she confirmed. "I don't know if you know who I am but -"

"Jess told me about you," Rory smiled softly. "He calls you his sister sometimes."

"I knew it," she laughed. "He likes to pretend he's not my brother but he actually is in lots of ways."

"It's sweet," she nodded. "He told me you read."

"He recommended books for me over the years," she shrugged as if its no big deal.

"He did the same for me," she told her.

Lily laughed. "This is so weird. I told him I wanted to meet you and don't take this the wrong way but what are you doing here?"

"I kind of broke up with Jess," she said. "And I didn't really mean to. I was angry and it just came out and I wanted to take it back but then he left."

"So you're here to get back together with him?" Lily asked.

"I don't know," she leaned back onto the bench. "I just want to talk to him. I want to fix this."

The younger girl nodded. "Have you seen him yet?"

"At Jimmy's," she answered. "He didn't seem happy to see me."

"That's ridiculous," Lily shook her head. "Of course he'd be happy to see you."

Rory almost laughed. "Are you forgetting that we broke up?"

"So?" She asked.

"So he probably hates me," she concluded.

Lily was still shaking her head. "No. Jess wouldn't hate you."

Rory was surprised at her confidence, especially considering she had so little. "He sure seemed like he did."

"That's just Jess being Jess," she smiled softly at Rory. "He acts like a jerk to hide how he feels."

Rory remembered that well enough. "Oh, I know that. Trust me."

"Can I sit?" Lily asked and Rory nodded. "I want to tell you something."

"What's that?" She asked.

"Jess is stubborn," she started. "He's stupid, impulsive and keeps to himself. He doesn't like to let anyone in just in case they let him down."

"Believe me when I say I know these things, too," Rory almost laughed again.

"But," Lily turned serious. "He also can be sweet and a great sort of older brother. He also lets that guard down for certain people, you and I included. And I've never seen him more in love with a person than you."

Rory turned in her seat to face the girl beside her. "I have a question. How did you know what I look like to come up to me?"

"Oh, that's easy," she brightened. "Jess has pictures of you. Always has."

"He did?" She asked. "Even - even after high school?"

"Oh, yeah!" Lily laughed. "He used this one of you two as a bookmark and I guess he forgot it was there. Jess let me use the book and I saw it and asked about you."

"What did he say?" Rory was very curious if he had told this girl what happened before he left.

"Just that you were his girlfriend," she answered. "That he messed everything up, disappointed you and his uncle, left."

"Oh," she said sadly. She almost hoped for excuses why Jess had left back then. Then she remembered what he said that night and had another question to ask. "That summer, did you ever see him with anyone?"

Lily looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Rory didn't really want to explain. "Was he ever with any girls? Did you see him with any?"

"I saw girls flirt with him," she recalled. "But I don't remember much else. I do know he didn't come back until morning a few times. Sasha was pretty mad."

She felt her heart sink. "Oh. Okay."

"Why?" Lily asked. She was definitely more perceptive than she guessed. "Are you asking if he had any girlfriends here?"

Rory shook her head. "No. Not girlfriends."

"Oh," Lily caught on and quickly tried to reassure her. "I'm sure if there was anyone, it didn't mean anything. He was way too in love with you."

"Thanks," she smiled weakly. "He kind of already told me there was other girls. I guess I just wondered if he said it to hurt me or was telling the truth."

Lily watched Rory's expression turn sad and reached into her pocket for her phone. "I got an idea."

"What?" She turned to look at her.

"Tell me where you're staying," she held her phone out, the notepad stared back at her from the screen. "I'll tell Jess to go see you."

"How did you know he didn't know?" Rory asked.

"Because if he did know, you would be waiting there in case he came instead of roaming the boardwalk," she replied.

"Maybe," her lips curled up almost into a smile.

"Type it," she pushed the phone closer. "I'll make sure he gets it."

Rory took the phone from her and typed her hotel and room in. She handed it back to Lily with a worried expression. "What if he really doesn't want to see me?"

"Then he won't go," she stuffed her phone back into her pocket.

She nodded in agreement. If he didn't come, he didn't come. Just like how so far he hadn't called. "At least this gives him more options."

"That's the spirit!" Lily nodded with a smile.

She left not soon after and went straight to her mother's house. Jess was in his room flipping through a book when she found him. She threw a piece of paper that she wrote Rory's address on at him.

"Go see her," she demanded.

Jess sat up straight and looked at the paper. "How did you get this?"

"Doesn't matter," Lily told him. "Just go see her already. She's not gonna wait for you so don't be a dumbass."

She charged out the door and he soon heard the front door slam shut behind her. Jess sat there and stared at the paper with Rory's hotel written on it. He thought back to their last conversations and to his surprisingly open conversation with Luke.

After a few minutes of thought, he grabbed his jacket, phone and the piece of paper and walked out the door.

...

It had been a couple of hours since she sat on the boardwalk with Lily. They had never formally introduced other than the younger girl knowing who she was but Rory felt like she could know her. After she left, hotel room number in hand, Rory made the walk back and called her mother.

There was the usual banter and asking how California was. Rory didn't tell her how she already not only saw Jess but met his, well she was calling Lily his sister anyway. It was close enough even if Jimmy and Sasha still weren't married. Lorelai asked her daughter how she was and wondered if suggesting going there was the right thing to do.

Rory told her she needed to do this, whether it was the right thing or the wrong thing. Her mother also causally mentioned hearing Luke earlier on the phone. Though she hadn't heard much of it, she assumed he was talking to Jess.

In the midst of wondering what that meant, there was a knock on the door. Rory sat up and stared at the door. It was either one of three - it could be Lily or it could be Jess. It could also be room service for all she knew, though.

She walked slowly to the door, hesitantly. The knob turned slowly and once it was open, she let out a breath in surprise. It was Jess after all. "Hi."

"Hi," he replied.

"Do you want to come in?" She asked him. Jess nodded and walked inside. "Do you want a drink?"

He shook his head and she shut the door. Once they were both inside, the air around them seemed awkward. Rory played with her fingers as she watched Jess walk around the room. "Lily told you where I am then?"

"Yeah, she practically threw the address and room number at me," he smirked. She hadn't seen it since before her party and actually grew to miss it.

"Does this mean you want to talk to me?" She asked quietly.

"I always want to talk to you," he confessed. "Just sometimes the urge to not tries to push it aside."

She nodded. "And what's it saying now? The urge?"

"That you're right," he explained. "We do need to talk."

Rory sat down and Jess followed, sitting as far as he could on the same piece of furniture. "How do we start?"

"I think I need to start with an apology," he smirked a darker one now. "I was an asshole and on your birthday of all nights."

"Its understandable," she commented. "You were surprised and angry."

"I was a dick," he added. "I never should have brought up Shane or sleeping with other girls in the first place."

Rory looked down at her hands, unable to meet his face. "Then why did you?"

"I don't know," he answered. "Because you met one ex of mine, the only one besides you who meant something. And to know you were hanging out with her for a while and I didn't know -"

"We weren't hanging out," she defended. "We were working. And it got weird once it kicked in that you loved her and I had to spend time with her."

"She knew your birthday," Jess said.

"Because she overheard me asking Leslie about the day off," she explained. "I didn't really tell her."

"Okay," he said. "I shouldn't have reacted like that, though. And I bet you're having high school flashbacks again, huh?"

"No," she replied. "Because high school Jess would have just been mad at me and told me to drop it. He'd never come and apologize about it."

"I think we need to talk about that," he found himself saying. "High school."

Rory was surprised to say the least. "You want to talk about high school?"

"The only way we'll get past it is if we talk about it, right?" He smirked again.

She nodded. "Okay. Um...you or me should start?"

"I told you I left because I thought you deserved better," he recalled the night they babysat Evan and Doula. "And you did. I was a jerk back then. I had a lot of growing up to do."

"And you did," she added.

Jess shook his head. "You say that but I feel that Jess in me sometimes. Like on your birthday. And that Jess should have treated you better."

"So tell me about when you left," she urged.

He took a deep breath. "Obviously I was on that bus to leave. And Luke had kicked me out when he found out I wasn't graduating. He told me he didn't mean it, he thought I'd stay. But I really thought he had really given up on me."

"He didn't," she said. "He came by the house and told my mom you left."

He looked over at her curiously. "He did?"

"He seemed panicked," she went on. "I was inside but my mom told me later you were gone. And even later than that, she told me how she knew. Luke was really worried."

"I didn't think he cared," he sighed. "I know now he does. But then I didn't. So it was a combination. I thought Luke gave up, I wasn't graduating, Jimmy came then everything with you and me..."

"Tell me about what happened at the party," she interrupted. "I want to hear you say you didn't get mad because I didn't want to have sex."

"I wasn't mad because you didn't want to have sex," he told her. "I had just found out I wasn't graduating, I drank a little too much and then you came in. I knew I was gonna lose you and I looked at you and I needed to feel close to you."

"So you kissed me,", Rory added in. "And tried to get my belt off."

"I didn't say I handled it right," he looked down. "I wasn't thinking straight and it doesn't justify what I did. But I never wanted to pressure you and I should have listened when you said no the first time."

"You followed me," she commented. "Were you gonna tell me about not graduating? Were you gonna apologize for trying to get me to have sex with you in some random bedroom at a party?"

"I don't even know," he answered. "I just knew I couldn't let you walk out that door and I couldn't let you think I was mad because of that."

"But Dean punched you," she remembered. "Right as you came down the stairs."

"That definitely did not help my mood," he almost had another smirk. "I shouldn't have walked away. I should have talked to you but I wasn't in the mindset to talk either."

"I was afraid to talk after," she remembered. "I came by the diner a bunch of times."

"I remember," he nodded. "I almost followed you outside."

"Why didn't you?" She asked. "You could have just told me but instead you said nothing until the morning you left."

"Because I was scared," he replied. "I was going to lose you anyway, whether we talked about it or not. We were never meant to last, Rory."

"I don't believe that," she said. "You were planning on being with me while I was at Yale. You planned on coming to my grandparents' house again."

"I planned it," he agreed. "But some part of me knew it wouldn't happen. I wasn't good enough for you."

"And why did you get to decide that?" She wondered. "Why couldn't I?"

"Because you seemed to think I had a future," he told her.

She leaned towards him an inch. "You did have a future. You do have one."

"Then I didn't," Jess explained. "Back then I was a smartass punk who left the only two people who ever gave a shit about him."

"Why did you promise me 22.8 miles then?" She asked.

"Because I hoped," he looked right at her. "Because that was before I failed out of school."

"So you even thought back then that we were doomed to fail," she stated rather than asked.

"No," he groaned. "Damn it, Rory. Don't twist my words."

"It sure as hell sounds like that," she replied.

"It's not," he shook his head. They were actually talking civilly and he didn't want to fight with her about this. If he did, he might say more things he'd regret.

"Okay," she sensed the change in the atmosphere and waited before speaking again. "So what was it like then?"

"I knew I'd eventually do something to mess everything up," he admitted slowly. "But I wanted to not mess it up."

Rory nodded. "Don't take this the wrong way but why was your solution to not tell about missing all that school or not telling me your dad showed up?"

"Because you'd see me as I saw me," he sighed. "You'd this irresponsible jerk who everyone was right about and move on with your life."

"I didn't see you as that," she stared at his face which caused Jess to look away. "When you came back...the first time, I wanted to talk to you."

"Huh," he just said.

"Why did you walk away all those times?" She asked. "Not before but when you came back, when you told me that -"

"I loved you?" He finished and Rory nodded. "Because I was still that mad kid with a chip on his shoulder. And because I just needed you to know how I felt."

Rory kept nodding. "And you didn't need to know how I felt?"

"I didn't deserve to know how you felt," he shrugged. "I didn't even deserve to have you feel anything for me at all."

"But it was okay to tell me you love me and leave?" She wondered. "I'm not saying it to start a fight. I don't want another fight. I just need to understand."

"I didn't plan on telling you," Jess sighed. "You were just there, rambling even though you were mad and I looked at you and I just..."

"Just what?"

"Loved you."

"Why did you leave?" She twirled her fingers together, first looking down at them then back to Jess.

His gaze stayed on her, though. "Because you still deserved better. I still needed to grow up."

"I wanted to tell you that I love you, too," she confessed. "Probably not at first. I'd probably continue being mad then led into that somehow."

"Why did you love me?" He asked. It seemed like his turn.

"Because you were the only person I was just me when I was with," Rory explained.

They both stayed silent for a few minutes. Rory almost regretted her answer and Jess thought about what that meant. Did she still mean it? And what did that say for Logan then?

She broke the silence first. The quiet was getting to her and she had a question she really needed to ask. "Why did you come to my dorm that night?"

Jess sighed, knowing he should have expected that one. "To tell you I was sorry."

"Why didn't you?" She asked. "You asked me to run away with you but never said an apology."

"Because of Dean," he put his hands through his now growing hair. "I saw him with you and I panicked. Which, now, seems valid except I guess it was my fault it's valid, huh?"

"Don't do that," she closed her eyes then reopened them.

"I'm not trying to fight, either," he replied. "I just wish I could change that night. I wish I never went to see you, especially if it means nothing would have happened between you and...him."

"Its not totally your fault, Jess," she stood up. He looked at her surprised that she was the first to break the calm they'd been having.

He stared at her from his seat. "You never answered when I asked -"

"I know," she sighed. "And I did blame you, when the guilt set in. Because you came in and out of my life again, after making this proposal. And Dean was asking me if we were back together..."

He scoffed. "So what then? He was just being a caring ex-boyfriend?"

"He wanted to be with me," she groaned. "I should have seen the signs. I was suspicious of him lying to Lindsey the night you came. But after you left, I cried. A lot. And then Dean was there and I remembered how it was before you broke my heart."

He waited patiently. He didn't want to judge her for that. God knows he made more than enough mistakes. He decided to listen to her about it because she probably couldn't even talk about it with anyone. He doubted even Lorelai.

"He told me he loved me and the ring was off," she continued. "And I don't know. I thought of you and how much I missed you and I didn't want to miss you. And how I dragged Dean along over you. I really tried to believe I still loved him. But I didn't, Jess."

"So why?" He whispered.

"I was stupid," she sighed. "And gullible. He didn't leave her. The only reason he did was because she kicked him out after finding my letter."

"You're not stupid," he told her.

Rory laughed humorlessly. "Yes, I was."

"No," he stood, too, now so he was facing her. "You're not. You were confused and dealing with me didn't help anything."

"The thing is, I liked your reappearances," she admitted. "Because as long as you randomly came back, I didn't lose you. There was still a chance I'd see you again."

A smile tried to appear on Jess' face at that. "Then I guess sorry it took me almost two years to come again?"

"I'm glad it did," she smiled and his officially won. "Because you went and did something for yourself. You needed that time away."

"That night at your grandmothers," he said. "I finally thought that if you chose to be with me ever again, I could deserve you."

"I'm sorry Logan interrupted," Rory told him. "I really did want dinner with just you."

"I know," he gave a small smile before it faded.

"But you got me back at Yale," she brightened. "You got me to talk to my mom again. I don't think I've ever thanked you for that."

"You did it," he waved it off.

"Maybe," she said. "But I needed a wake-up call from you."

"You're welcome," he told her and another seconds of silence passed. A question of his own burned on his mind and he just had to ask. "Can I ask something now?"

"Of course," she nodded.

Jess took a deep breath and finally asked. "Why did you come to Philadelphia?"

 **A/N: So sorry to cut it off there! I really wanted to get this up and if I didn't cut it somewhere, it never would have ended. That might not be a bad thing but I had to do it!**

 **And I really wanted them to talk calmly about everything so if it seems OOC for them to just be this calm, let me know! I think we all had enough yelling and fights for now. Besides, I'd hope they would talk like this and just listen to the other when they finally discuss everything. I hope you like it though :)**

 **Lastly, as always, thank you for the reviews! I wasn't seeing them as first but thankfully now they're showing up. I don't know what happened but I'm just glad they're visible now.**


	39. Chapter 39

_"Can I ask something now?"_

 _"Of course," she nodded._

 _Jess took a deep breath and finally asked. "Why did you come to Philadelphia?"_

...

"Philadelphia," she whispered. "I think I might be more ashamed of this than everything with Dean, to be honest."

Jess watched her take a deep breath and exhaled. "Just tell me. It can't be worse than I imagined."

"I wanted to see you," she started. "For many reasons. I wanted to see where you work and what your life was like outside of Stars Hollow."

"You told me this," he teased. He tried to hide just how much he wasn't ready for the rest of the explanation.

"I know," she said. "I didn't go there to use you. Not entirely."

"Then what?" He asked.

"Did I like that Logan would be jealous if he knew I went to see you? Yes," Rory said. "Did I look at you and feel the way I had everytime you had looked back at me? Yes. And I did want something to happen."

"When did you decide that?" He found himself asking. "When you got the invitation and was mad at him?"

"No," she shook her head. "When I opened the invitation, it was just wanting to see you. But when we were there together, talking and having a good time. I thought to myself how it'd be okay if something...happened. How I wanted it to happen."

He stared at her. "And?"

"I didn't want to initiate it," Rory replied. "I didn't know how you felt. But my mind was going back and forth between wanting to kiss you, wanting to...do more than kiss you. Then it slid in how I could give Logan a taste of his own medicine at the same time."

She looked at his face finally and Jess had a poker face on. It didn't give any emotions or thoughts out and she almost wished it had. He's quiet a little longer then he finally speaks again. "Why did you stop it when I kissed you then?"

"Because I felt something when you kissed me," she admitted. "The same something I always felt when you kissed me. And I couldn't do it. Not even just to Logan. I couldn't do it to you."

"Huh," he nodded. "So you wanted me to help you cheat on your cheating boyfriend but stopped it because you had feelings for me?"

Rory just whispered in return. "Yes."

"I guess at least you didn't see I invited you there and think 'hey, that'd be a good way to get him back,'" he said.

Rory almost gasped at his words but when she saw the look on his face, he was teasing her. "You're not mad?"

He shook his head slowly. "I told you, it couldn't be worse than I thought. And what I thought was you saw an in to revenge and I was just collateral damage."

"You never were," she confirmed. "The main reason anything even crossed my mind is because..."

She shut herself up, almost afraid to say her next words. Jess wanted to know what she had been about to say however. "Because what?"

Rory sighed. "Because I've always been attracted to you."

Its his turn to be silent now. Jess sits there in his thoughts, trying to figure out the right thing to say. He didn't really expect her to say attraction was why she wanted to sleep with him after the open house. He had always expected he was just her way to get back at Logan.

"Say something," she urged. "Please."

"I'm working on it," he told her and she would have smiled if she wasn't so nervous. "Why are you more ashamed of that than...than Dean?"

"Because Dean I knew was a mistake," Rory let out. "I tried to defend it to my mom but then I called his phone after and Lindsey answered..."

Jess touched her hand. Since standing, they had sat back down and she was grateful. She didn't think she could feel her legs if she tried. "Its okay. You don't have to answer."

"I want to tell you," she explained. "I knew when I heard her what I had done. But with you...you had finally got your life together and there I was, messing it up."

"You didn't mess it up," he told her. "Sure, I got drunk after but you didn't mess it up."

She let out a small laugh. "I cried in my car after."

"So we both had a rough night," he said.

Rory looked down at his hand still on hers and smiled up at him. "You could say that."

Jess took his hand off hers, noticing how it was probably there for too long. "Thank you for telling me."

"Thank you for telling me, too," she told him.

He shrugged. "You should have known before. I guess I was just too stupid to say it."

"You're not stupid," she defended.

Another shrug. "Maybe."

"I didn't mean for you to think you were collateral damage," she said, hoping he'd stop calling himself stupid.

"I didn't mean to think it, either," a small smirk played on his lips.

She gave a small smile at him and decided she had a question to ask. "Are we okay?"

Jess took a deep breath. "I don't know. The talking helped but..."

"But what?" She asked.

"But maybe a little time to think is needed," he finished. "Think over what we said, how we feel."

"I know how I feel," Rory half-mumbled. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he smiled and touched her cheek.

She leaned into his touch and was sad when it was gone. "I don't really want to break up."

"I know," he replied. "Me, either."

"So then what are we doing?" She wondered. "If we're thinking -"

Jess cut her off. "We're taking space. We're not broken up but not fully together."

Rory nodded numbly. "Are you staying here?"

"For a little bit," he shrugged. "I really hadn't seen Lily in a while. It wasn't just about getting out of New York."

"When will you be back?" She asked.

"I don't know," Jess answered honestly. "I think I'll head back to Philadelphia, though when I leave here."

Another nod from Rory now. "Not New York? At all?"

"Not not at all," he told her. "Just...not right away."

"I really am sorry for everything," she told him.

Jess noticed her eyes shined, wet in the corners. "I know. Me, too."

She hadn't realized she was crying until Jess' thumb came up and swept across the skin under her eyes. "Thanks."

He nodded at her. "I'm an ass. I made you cry again."

Rory shook her head in answer. "You're right. We can't just go back to how it was immediately. I'm just gonna miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you, too," he kept his hand on her face this time and she leaned into it again. "Its just for us to think, anyway."

"I don't need to think, though," she sniffed. "I know I want this. It took me too long to realize it but I know now."

Jess nodded at her, a sad look on his face. "I think knowing that I wanted you all along isn't helping much."

"How come?" She asked and touched his hand that was still on her face. Her fingers went on top of his as she held it to her.

"Because I always knew and you didn't," he cleared his throat. "It stings a little."

"I am sorry," she said, not just about recently or what they talked about. She meant everything, including comparing him to Dean when they were first together.

He understood what she meant. "Me, too."

He slid his hand out from under hers and stood up again. Rory followed after and stood, too. Both of them stood awkwardly, neither unsure what to say.

Jess was the one who broke the silence. "Tonight, Lily's boyfriend is coming for dinner. Its gonna be the first time I meet the guy, actually."

She smiled softly. "That sounds nice."

"I hope so," he smiled back. "I was wondering, if maybe, you would want to come. You can officially meet everyone if you want. I understand if you don't."

"I'd actually really like that," she said. "But I shouldn't."

"Okay," he nodded. He wished she would anyway, even if he just told her they were technically in a relationship anymore.

"I actually think I'm gonna head home," she continued. "I came here for us to talk. We talked. I should go."

"Rory, you don't have to," he said.

"Its okay," she smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

Jess walked toward the door after another nod and Rory followed behind him. He turned as his hand gripped the doorknob. "I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah," she agreed. "Soon."

Before she could really notice what he was doing, Jess leaned in. His lips brushed hers lightly and she closed her eyes. He moved away too soon and when she opened her eyes, the door was opened and he was already out in the hallway.

Rory walked into the hallway of the hotel and watched his retreating back until Jess turned a corner and disappeared. She shut her door and leaned her head against the wall for a few minutes before turning to her suitcase and throwing anything she unpacked back in.

...

When Jess got back to Jimmy and Sasha's house, he saw no sign of either of them but Lily was waiting on the couch. He smirked at her. "How long have you been here?"

"A few minutes," she shrugged. "Half hour."

"Why?" He out his coat over the back of a chair and sat down.

"Because I called Mom and she said you weren't home," she answered. "Did you go see Rory?"

"I did," he nodded.

"And?" She urged. "You were gone a while. Does that mean...?"

He couldn't help but notice there was a suggestive look on her face. "I didn't go right there."

"Oh," her face fell. "And?"

"And we talked," he sighed.

"And?" She repeated.

"And we're not back together," he replied and stood up. He hoped to avoid her questioning with that look in her eye but she followed him into the kitchen.

She leaned against the wall. "Why not?"

"We're not broken up, either," he explained.

"What?" She shook her head, confused. "How is that possible? Was this stupid idea yours?"

"Its not stupid," he argued and grabbed a soda put of the fridge. As badly as he wanted a beer, it wouldn't help him much if he was drinking during this conversation.

"It sounds stupid," she crossed her arms.

"Its the best way," Jess turned to her. "Because we need to go over what we talked about and everything that's happened before we dive back in."

"So why not stay broken up?" She questioned. "Jesus, Jess, she came here to see you! Do you really think she wanted confirmation you're not her boyfriend anymore?"

"Technically, I am her boyfriend if we're not broken up," he took a sip.

Lily just shook her head again. "One of these days, you're gonna pull this shit and that girl won't be waiting anymore. You're gonna lose her for good."

His face turned serious just then. "I did lose her before. Multiple times. The fact that she even wants me now is a surprise."

"So why don't you smarten up?" She asked. "Tell her you love her and that you want to be with her."

"Because sometimes its not that simple," he explained.

"Its always that simple," she huffed. "You just have to be willing to make it work."

Lily turned and walked right out of the kitchen. Jess stood there alone for a few seconds before putting his drink down and following her out. "What if I messed up too much already?"

She stopped but didn't turn. "Maybe then you have to think about how she's still here and she still wants to be with you."

With that, Lily opened the front door and walked out. Jess sighed, putting his hand through his hair. He tried to follow Lily out the door but when he got out there, she was already in her car. She looked over at him and waved, to let him know she wasn't mad at him and he waved back.

He watched her go and immediately after, grabbed his own keys. Jess drove back to the hotel he'd just been at with Rory and walked right up to her room. The door was open and he stepped right in. He didn't find Rory, though, he found room service.

The woman looked over at him as his footsteps came closer. She didn't seem afraid of this stranger walking inside but instead, she looked sad. He figured his feelings were written all over his face.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" The woman asked Jess.

He stepped an inch closer. "I'm looking for someone. She was staying in this room."

She nodded. "A pretty brunette?"

"Yes," he answered, too afraid to be relieved. "I was just here not even an hour ago. Can you tell me where she is?"

"She checked out," she confirmed. "Maybe ten minutes ago. They sent me up here to tidy up because there's a tourist bus coming in."

"Oh," his face fell and he hoped it wasn't that obvious. "You can check the airport. I think she told them she was going right there."

"Thank you," he jogged out of the room and down the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator. He drove as fast as he could to the airport but when he got there, the only flight leading to New York was even gone.

He sighed, defeated. Rory was already gone. How fast had she ran out of there because of him? Lily was right. It was a stupid idea. Slowly, he walked back to his car and drove back to his father's house.

...

The plane didn't take as long as Rory had expected for her to get home. She got off the plane and into the gate and almost ran when she saw her mother standing there in front of her. Rory's feet pulled her towards Lorelai and when she finally reached her, she felt like she could cry.

Lorelai held her daughter to her and smoothed out her hair. "Its okay."

Rory shook her head and pulled away enough to speak. "I got out of there as fast as I could."

They began to walk, ready to pick up the rest of her luggage. "What happened? You were vague on the phone."

"I'll tell you about it when we get home," she tried to smile but it just felt false. Instead, she changed the subject. "Is Luke here?"

Lorelai nodded and wrapped her arms around her daughter once her bag was picked up. "He's waiting in the car."

"Didn't wanna come greet me?" She joked.

"He figured we might want to be alone when you come off," she told her.

Rory really did smile this time. Luke definitely knew them too well. She was very grateful that he not only was in her life but her step-father.

They walked out to where Lorelai told her the car was parked. Luke gave her a small smile and Rory smiled in return, wondering what he was thinking about this whole thing. She knew he was upset Jess left and now that she had come back to Stars Hollow so quickly... there was no telling what his thoughts were.

Rory climbed into the Jeep backseat and almost snickered. It was weird seeing Luke drive it but it made sense considering her mother was getting bigger in her pregnancy. They drove at an even speed and when they reached the familiar house, she let out a breath she'd been holding.

Lorelai walked to the door first and Luke grabbed her bags. Rory followed behind her mom and they all came inside. He went into the kitchen and started making coffee, knowing exactly what Rory would need.

Rory turned to her mom, a question on her tongue since she'd seen her at the airport. "Why didn't Evan come?"

"He's staying at Sookie's tonight," Lorelai explained. "She was with me when you called and offered to watch him."

Rory nodded silently. Did she really sound that terrible on the phone? Soon, an incredible aroma came into the room and toldd the two women coffee was done.

"Perfect man," Rory smiled when the coffee was done and he handed her a cup.

Lorelai smiled back. "He'd be even more perfect if he gave me a cup of regular coffee."

Luke kissed her hair and handed her a decaf coffee. She made a face as she drank it but still gulped it greedily.

"I think I'll go back the diner now," he told them. "Give you two time to talk."

"You closed the diner for me?" Rory asked and he nodded. "No! You didn't have to do that."

"It wasn't closed," he waved it off as if it was nothing. "Lane was taking care of it."

Rory smiled at him again. "Thank you, Luke."

He almost blushed at her gratitude. "No problem. See you later."

"Wait!" Lorelai exclaimed. He knew exactly what she meant and came over and kissed her quick. "Thank you!"

Luke was soon gone and Lorelai turned to her daughter. "Now you gonna tell me what happened? You didn't even stay a full day."

Rory sighed and gripped her cup to her palms. "We talked."

"I figured that," she nodded. "About what happened?"

"About all of it," Rory felt her hands burning but didn't bother to move the cup. "High school, Kyle's party, Dean, Logan, Philadelphia."

"And it didn't go well?" She concluded.

"No, actually," she replied. "It went better than expected. We talked about it calmly and like adults."

Lorelai was confused. "But then what happened? You call me, tell me you're getting the next flight out and coming here. You sounded upset."

"Because we're broken up but not," she sighed. "I don't know why I didn't object to that."

"So what are you then?" Lorelai asked. "Officially?"

"I have no idea," Rory groaned. "We're together but not apart. And Jess is going back to Philly when he leaves California."

Her mother followed along closely. "So he's not going back to New York?"

"He says not right away," she sighed. "But that its not out of the equation."

"It sounds like you're not together," her mother pointed out sadly.

"I know," Rory sighed again. "I really want to believe him that it's not a break-up but its really hard not to think it is."

"Call him," she told her.

Rory laughed. "What, now? What would I say? 'Hey, I ran back to Stars Hollow as soon as you left and how are you, by the way?'"

"Not right now," Lorelai corrected. "Just whenever. Make sure you keep contact so it doesn't turn into not speaking again."

"I don't know," she said. The cup burned her hand more now and she gasped in surprise, now feeling just how hot the cup was. "Ow."

The cup fell out of her hands and to the carpeted floor. Whatever she had yet to drink spilt brown on the white. "Oh!"

"Shit," Rory muttered. "I'll clean it."

She jumped off the couch and Lorelai watched as Rory grabbed apeat and paper towels to clean the mess. Thankfully the cup didn't break due to the carpet and she was glad to not have glass to clean as well.

When she was done cleaning, she brought her mother another cup of decaf and herself another of regular. They talked until it got late enough for Luke to return home. Lane was closing the diner but tomorrow, she was going to go with Hep Alien for a performance in Boston. Mrs. Kim was more than happy to watch her grandchildren.

Luke kissed Lorelai on the head before heading upstairs and the girls ordered pizza. The girl talk silenced as a male entered the house but Lorelai watched her daughter in wondermeant. The hurt she'd been feeling was stuffed away as she ate.

Luke carefully watched Rory, too. The show of trying to look all right was mostly for him. She didn't want him to see how upset she felt or assume Jess did something new wrong.

Finally, when it became time to go to sleep, Lorelai tucked her daughter in, as of she was three instead of thirty one. Rory didn't mind and she let her. Luke followed Lorelai back up to their room. "How was Evan?"

"He's fine," Luke answered. "He really gets along with Sookie's kids despite them being older."

"Good," she smiled and kisses her husband. "He likes it over there, too."

"Is Rory okay?" Luke asked. "Jess didn't do anything...stupid? Or hurt her?"

"No," she shook her head. "They're better now than when he left but they're just taking some time."

"Time," he repeated. He knew the word well and so did his wife. Neither commented on what they were thinking, afraid to say it out loud.

Downstairs, Rory wiped stray tears as she tried to fall asleep. She finally managed to fall asleep an hour later, thoughts of Jess and how it was before floating in her mind.

 **A/N: Still with me? I hope so! And I've promised its worth and trust me, it still is. Just a little patience, right? :)**


	40. Chapter 40

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Lorelai asked her daughter as the two of them stood in front of the grand entrance of the Gilmore mansion.

Rory nodded in reply. "Yeah. I'm the one who asked grandma about restarting Friday night dinner and I'm here so it makes sense to go."

"If you're really sure," Lorelai smiled then knocked on the door. A young girl answered. "Hello. We're here to see Master Gilmore."

The girl nodded at them and moved aside for them to enter. She didn't speak and the two of them looked at each other curiously. The maid took their coats and scurried off.

"Well, that was quick," Lorelai commented.

Emily walked into the foyer with a big smile on her face. "Girls! I'm so glad you could make it."

"Hi, Mom," Lorelai smiled right as Rory began "Hi, Grandma."

"It is lovely to see both of you," Emily remarked. "Come in, come in."

She escorted them into the huge living room. Each sat on the couch while Emily made them drinks. She handed lorelai a soda this time which made her very happy it was not water.

Emily soon sat down as well in her usual chair facing not the couch but enough to still see it. "Lorelai, I must say you are absolutely glowing!"

"Thanks, Mom," Lorelai smiled bigger then grabbed her purse. "I actually have something to show you."

Rory looked over her shoulder to see what it was. She gasped in surprise to see her mother hadnt shown her the sonogram yet. "Why have I not seen this?"

"Because we went the day before you came," Lorelai answered as she handed it to her mother. "I thought it might be nice to show you together."

"Oh, Lorelai," Emily gasped as she looked at the picture of her new grandchild. "Its precious."

She stared at the picture for a little longer then handed it back to her daughter who in turn handed it to hers. "Oh, how adorable!"

"Do you have any names planned out?" Emily asked.

Lorelai shook her head. "Not yet. We've got a list of possible names but since we're waiting to find out the sex, it's not decided yet."

"Why not find out now?" Emily asked. "Its nice to know what you're having beforehand."

"We like surprises," Lorelai replied. Rory almost spit out her drink at the thought of Luke liking surprises.

Emily crossed her legs and sipped her own drink. "Well, if you insist..."

"We do insist," she smiled. "Its fun."

"Its nice that you don't know yet," Rory piped in. "That way, we can get two banners for when you bring the baby home and frantically change it in case we put the wrong one up."

"I bet Jackson will be the one who has to change it," Lorelai added with a laugh which made Rory laugh with her.

Emily rolled her eyes but also smiled at their interaction. It was nice to have them behave like they normally would, even if it was crazy behavior in her opinion.

When they stopped laughing about the arrival party for the baby, Emily decided to speak again. "Rory, dear, its so nice you came to visit this week."

Her laughter stopped abruptly as she worried about the following questions. "I thought it would be nice to come see my mom and Evan."

"And where is Evan tonight?" Emily asked. "With his father?"

"Yes, he's home with Luke," Lorelai said.

Emily made a saddened face. "Oh, how I wish you'd have brought him."

"He'll see you next time, then," she nodded.

Emily lit up. "Wonderful! Maybe Rory will come as well and I'll get to see both of my grandchildren at once. Won't that be nice?"

"Very nice," Rory agreed.

"Are you on vacation?" Emily asked Rory. "I can't imagine you get all these days off when your birthday was only last week."

"I'm not on vacation," she answered. "I'm working on articles from here right now."

"And your boyfriend?" She continued. "Is he here as well?"

"No," she shook her head. "Jess isn't here."

Her face fell dramatically. "Isn't he staying in New York as well? Why wouldn't he come?"

"He's actually not in New York right now," she explained then added on a half-truth. "He went to see family on California so I thought it'd be nice to see my own family while he's one."

Lorelai gave her a sympathetic look while Emily eyed her curiously. "What family does he have in California? I thought his mother moved closer."

"His father lives there," Lorelai answered for her daughter.

"I always thought he didn't know his father," she replied skeptically.

"He didn't," Lorelai answered again. "He only met him when be was eighteen."

"Oh," she sipped. "How convenient."

Rory sighed. "What do you mean?"

"Just that he's a published author now and his father appears," she remarked.

"Its not like he only appeared now," Rory said.

Lorelai tried to cut in. "Hey, Mom, what are we having for dinner?"

Emily didn't fall for the change. "I just don't see how he'd rather visit a man who was virtually out of his life for eighteen years rather than be with his girlfriend."

"It's because we broke up," Rory half-shouted.

Emily looked at her stunned and Lorelai put her head down. "My, that's good soda."

"I knew it," Emily accused. "I knew this would happen."

"What?" Rory asked.

"I knew he'd pull something like this," she shook her head.

"Grandma, he didn't pull anything," she defended. "And technically,

we're not broken up."

"You just said -"

"I know what I said."

"Then what is it?" She wondered. "Are the two of you still together or not?"

"I don't know," she replied, a defeated edge to her voice.

Emily set down her drink on the table and uncrossed her legs with a scowl on her face. "He's not cut out for this family, Rory. He may try, what with the party or moving to New York but in the end he's just not the one."

Rory looked over at her grandmother in surprise. "So you were only pretending to accept him?

"I accepted him because you seemed happy," she clarified. "Now, you don't seem as happy so I don't have to accept."

The maid scampered into the room and Lorelai exclaimed in relief, glad for a possible subject change. "Oh! Dinner's ready! I'm starved."

"Very well," Emily checked the time. "Right on time, too."

Rory was the last to stand, following behind as slow as acceptable.

...

Jess typed along on his laptop. For some reason, he couldn't stop the ideas from coming at him. He found it almost impossible go keep track of all the thoughts in his mind.

As another chapter was finished, he clicked through what he had. So far, it seemed like it would be longer than his other three books. Jess even felt proud of how he'd been doing so far. He picked up his phone, instantly wanting to tell Rory than stopped.

He stared at the phone in his hand and hesitated. The first person he always thought of telling stuff to was Rory, even before when he was writing. Now was the first time he wrote a book while they were together.

They were supposed to not really be broken up, just taking space, he told himself. It wouldn't be completely put of the blue to call her with something he's happy about. She would be happy to hear he's writing after all.

Without further thinking, he called her phone. It rang and rang and it wasn't until he got her voicemail that he hung up. Jess didn't want to talk to a machine. He wanted to talk to her.

"Damn it," he said as he put the phone down and stared at the laptop screen. Now the cursor seemed like a tease, blinking at him to remind him of Rory, how one minute she was in his life and the next he went to California.

There was a soft knock on the door and he looked up to her, telling whoever to come in. He wasn't exactly in the mood for company but he needed a distraction.

Sasha slowly opened the door and peered inside, wondering what state she'd find Jess in. She was pleasantly surprised to see he sat up straight with his laptop in front of him. There was a notebook on the side with crossouts written all over it. "Hey."

"Hey," he leaned back so he wasn't so straight. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she shook her head. "I'm just wondering what's going on with you."

"Nothing's going on with me," he shrugged.

"Jess, you doubt how well I know you," she grinned and it made him laugh for a moment. "Come on."

He shrugged again, not really wanting to get into it. "There's nothing to tell."

Sasha decided it was her place to start. "One week ago, you showed up at our door. You said you wanted to visit all though you haven't just visited in a long time."

"I came for Lily's graduation," he objected.

She put a hand up to let her finish. "Then suddenly, your girlfriend shows up here. A girl we never met before knew our address and was looking for you. A girl you had been with the first time you came here."

He shook his head. "I wanted to visit you and Lily. Maybe see Jimmy in the process."

"That may be true," she nodded and made a thoughtful face. "But also I think you're running from her again."

"I'm not running from her," he closed his laptop and stood up.

"Uh-huh," she nodded and crossed her arms. "I've lived with a Mariano man for a long time, Jess. I know the signs."

He sighed and walked out of the room into the kitchen. Sasha followed behind him and waited for a response. He grabbed a drink out of the fridge and leaned against the counter. "I followed after her but her flight was gone."

"So?" She shrugged.

"So I missed her," he explained. "She left so fast that not only was she gone from the hotel, but the state."

"Oh," her face had a sympathetic expression on it. Jess wanted to he anywhere but there as he looked at her pity. He nodded. "Exactly."

"Well, maybe, she really did have a flight that time," she tried to comfort him.

"She had a flight less than an hour after I visited her and didn't tell me in case she could miss the flight?" He questioned.

She almost snapped back. "I'm just trying to help."

"Don't bother," he told her. "I blew it there so there's not much to help."

She just nodded once and watched him as he finished his drink. "So what are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna go home, I think," he answered. "To Philadelphia."

"When?"

"I'm not sure."

"You're welcome back anytime you need it, you know," she said.

"Thanks, Sasha," Jess smiled.

...

"Come on, let's go," Lorelai pulled her daughter's arm to move her forward. "We already skipped breakfast at Luke's. We have to get lunch."

"Come on, Rory," Evan pulled on her other arm.

Rory let herself by dragged by her mother and brother reluctantly. "I don't want to."

"Well, I do," her mother said then looked down at her son. "Don't you want to see daddy, Evan?"

"I do!" He screamed then looked to his sister. "Let's go see daddy."

"Your dad is always surrounded by people at the diner," she pouted.

"Yes, that's what we call good business," Lorelai added. "Come on. They're not gonna ask."

"This is the third day I'm here," she said. "I only avoided this because I went nowhere. You're making me go somewhere, therefore making me deal with whatever's coming."

Lorelai and Evan pulled her closer the diner. They were just a few feet from the door. "It'll be fine."

"If its not, I'm blaming you," Rory threatened.

"I will have to accept that, then," she nodded and pushed open the door. Luke looked up and a smile swept his face as he saw them. "Hello, husband!"

"Hey," he said as Lorelai walked over to him and kissed him quickly.

Evan shielded his eyes. "Ew, gross!"

Rory laughed at her brother and slid into a seat at a table. "Welcome to my world, little brother."

Mother and son followed and sat at the table as well. Luke came and took orders from each of them then disappeared onto the kitchen. Lane watched from behind the counter and waved at her friend. Rory felt guilty for talking to her while she was around.

Lorelai made chit-chat during their meal and Evan eventually moved to a stool at the counter. Like gave him a coloring book and crayons while the mother and daughter talked.

"I told you it would be okay," Lorelai pointed out as she was getting ready to go back to the inn.

"Maybe you were right," she agreed. "But it just feels weird. I feel like I'm being watched."

"You're not being watched," she remarked. "Maybe by me but that's understandable."

"I'm getting an eery déjà vu to Thanksgiving 2002," Rory smiled softly then her face fell. "About the town watching me and Jess."

"What did I tell you back then?" Lorelai asked, trying to draw it away from Jess.

"That is was biologically pre-determined you watched me," she answered.

"Exactly," she nodded. "Everyone else, well if they watch, then so what? It's none of their business."

"You're right," she agreed then looked around. "But I do wish they'd stop ducking their face when I look at them."

"Don't worry about it, sweets," she smiled softly. "I got to go to work. Sookie and Michel have been alone without me for long enough."

Rory smiled. "Have fun."

"Oh, I will," she grinned. "There's an accordian symposium in town. Michel must be through the roof."

Lorelai hugged her goodbye and went over to kiss Evan on the head. After a quick kiss with her husband, she waved and walked out the door. As soon as she was gone, Lane came to sit at the table.

"Hey," Rory smiled at her friend. "When did you get back from Boston?"

"This morning," she replied.

"How did to go?" She asked. "I know the band rarely gets together anymore."

"It was good," she smiled. "We played some of our old songs. Did some covers like we used to, too."

"And Brian went back home?" Rory asked.

"Yep," she nodded. "Kyon being pregnant is definitely a change but he didn't want to be away from her too long."

Rory was happy for them. They had gotten married five years after Lane and Zach had and were having their first baby. "Good. That's good."

"What about you?" She nudged her friend.

Rory shook her head. "What about me?"

"Where's Jess?" She asked. "Did he stay in New York?"

"No, he's not in New York," she answered. She had these answers memorized as if a script at this point. "He went to see Jimmy."

"Oh," she sighed.

"Its not a big deal," she rushed to defend though she wasn't entirely sure what she was even defending. "He's just visiting family so I am, too."

"And you guys are okay?" She wondered. "Jess doesn't just visit Jimmy."

"We're okay," she lied.

Lane made a face. She wasn't falling for it. "That didnt sound very convincing."

Rory laughed, trying to wave it off. "Well, is it more convincing if I tell you I went down there and met Jimmy?"

"Wow," Lane was surprised at that admission. "You met Jimmy? What was he like?"

"Well, he reminds me a lot of Jess," she smiled. "Not the way he thinks but little things. They look a little alike and the way they talk."

"Was he nice?" She asked.

She nodded. "He was. I'm a sad I didn't meet his girlfriend but I met her daughter."

"Well, why didn't you meet the girlfriend?" Lane wondered. "You were visiting so you could have."

"I had pre-planned tickets," another lie slipped from her mouth.

Lane nodded suspiciously and grabbed her friend's hand and dragged her towards the back room. "I'm going on break, Luke!"

They heard Luke from the kitchen shout, "Okay!"

They stopped and shut the door behind them. "Okay, I don't know why you're lying to me but don't forget I'm your best friend and I can tell this kind of stuff."

"I didn't mean to lie," Rory sighed and sat on a crate. "I did meet Jimmy and Lily though."

"Tell me what's going on," she pleaded.

"Me and Jess are sort of broken-up, sort of together," she admitted.

Lane looked confused. "What? How can you be both?"

"I don't know," she agreed. "But we are."

"So what does this mean?" She asked.

"I don't know," she repeated. "After I saw him and agreed with him this was a good idea - I don't know why I did that, by the way. I got the hell out of there."

"Wow," Lane commented.

"I called the airport and asked about flights," she continued. "There was one in ten minutes to here if I could get there in time and one seat left. I told them I'd take it and grabbed all my stuff."

"And what about Jess?" She asked. "Have you talked to him?"

"No," Rory said and stared at her fingernails. "I've been too chicken to call him."

Lane sat down too. "But I'd you're not officially broken up..."

"I know," she sighed. "But I miss him. And after what we had now, I don't know if I could pretend I'm not in love with him and make small talk about how everyone is."

"So tell him that," she urged. "Tell him you want it all in or all out."

Rory looked defeated. "What if he chooses all out?"

"What if he doesn't?" She asked.

Rory sighed again, as she tried to figure out which was the right decision.

...

Jess stuffed his clothes into the duffel bag when a knock came at the door. He looked up from his bag, it was almost full. "Come in."

Jimmy opened the door and let himself in. "So Sasha tells me you're leaving."

"Yep," he nodded. "Got a flight in a couple of hours."

"Going to...?" He trailed, expecting New York.

"Philly," he finished. "Gonna go work on the zine, read over a book I'm editing. Who knows? Maybe I'll finish mine."

"Are you ever gonna go back to New York?" He asked.

"Eventually," Jess shrugged. "I got to get the rest of my stuff anyway."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Come on," he leaned against the wall. "What about Rory?"

"What about her?" He asked. "She left here so its a little hard to thinks she wants to see me if she ran so fast."

"Maybe she was following your lead," he suggested.

"On, that's rich," he replied. "Coming from you."

"Hey," Jimmy leaned up straighter.

Jess looked at him. "What?"

"Don't take it out on me," he told him. "Whatever you're going through, you'll work through it. No need to take it out on anyone."

"Anyone but me you mean?" He began stuffing the last space in the duffel bag up.

"Thats not what I mean," he pointed out.

"Its fine," he said. "Its my fault anyway. Can't really blame her for leaving."

"There was a time when I thought I'd lost Sasha," Jimmy recalled.

Jess actually smirked at that. "Lily did mention there was some break-ups."

"There was a lot of them," he laughed. "Probably way more than the two of you."

"Yeah?" Jimmy nodded. "What happened?"

"I got off my pride and begged her to take me back," he grinned. "She didn't want to hear from me. The last fight felt like the final fight. But I knew she was what I wanted and I couldn't let her get away."

"So what convinced her?" Jess found himself asking.

Jimmy just shrugged. "She loved me. The rest just kind of fell into place after that."

"You know," Jess remembered an earlier conversation, the day Rory left

California to be exact. "Lily said something about love being enough."

"I think she's right," his father told him as he began to back out of the room. "Think about it, will you?"

Once Jimmy was out of the room, Jess finally replied to him. "Yeah. I will."

...

Rory walked out of the diner and held her coat closely together. It was getting chillier in the Connecticut air and she felt the winter approach.

It felt like she was being followed as she walked to the gazebo to make her phone call. Finally, feeling paranoid, Rory looked behind her just in time to see Babette not too far behind.

"Doll!" Babette shouted. "I was wondering when you'd notice me and stop walking."

Rory chuckled. "You could have called my name."

"Doctor said I shouldn't yell so much," she said once they were closer. "Turns out, I yelled a lot in my lifetime."

"Imagine that," Rory smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering about that beefcake of yours," she told him and Rory froze. "How come he didn't come back with you? Especially after that big birthday bash he threw last week for you?"

"He's visiting family," she answered automatically. "In California."

"Jeez, California," she blew out her breath. "When will he back? Patty misses seeing him around."

"It's kind of undefined right now," she made up. "There's not an exact return date."

"And you're gonna see him?" She wondered.

"Uh-huh," she nodded. "In fact, I've already been down there."

"Wow," Babette replied. "Is it nice?"

"Very nice," she nodded. "He really liked it there."

"Good," Babette nodded. "I'm glad to hear that. A bunch of us thought you being here without him and all, we thought it meant the two of you were no longer together anymore."

"No worries about that," she said with a smile though she didn't even believe her words.

"Oh, good," she repeated.

"You can tell everyone me and Jess are absolutely fine," she urged.

Babette smiled. "Will do. Thanks, doll."

"Anytime," she said and started to walk away.

The gazebo no longer seemed like a safe place to make her much-needed phone call. Instead, she made a detour to the bridge and dangled her legs over the edge as she sat.

It rang a few times and went straight to Jess' voicemail. Rory sighed.

She should have figured. When the beep came on, she decided to leave a message.

"Hey, Jess," she started. "It's me. Obviously. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for leaving so fast. Just everything felt like...like I was suffocating. I had to get out of there. And I didn't go back home. I'm actually in Stars Hollow. I don't know for how long yet but it's nice. Um, I miss you. I don't know how this thing works. What we decided. But there it is. I hope I see you soon and talk soon even. Bye."

She hung up quickly and almost regretted it. A part of her didn't because she knew she couldn't lose contact. Rory stayed at the bridge a little while longer and just waited.


	41. Chapter 41

Jess flipped on the lights in his apartment and put down his bag. It felt weird for him to be back there and he hadn't really considered that apartment home in a while. He sighed, thinking back to that phone call where he said Rory was home.

It sent a dull ache through him when he realized she still was his home.

He turned on his phone at the thought of her. There was still that feeling of wanting to talk to her. It never really went away and Jess still wanted to tell her about the book. There was a voicemail waiting for him was probably from when he was at the airport of on the plane, he guessed. Jess didn't remember a call and when he hit play, he was sure he didn't remember it.

Rory's voice came through the speaker. "Hey, Jess. It's me. Obviously. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for leaving so fast. Just everything felt like...like I was suffocating. I had to get out of there. And I didn't go back home. I'm actually in Stars Hollow. I don't know for how long yet but it's nice. Um, I miss you. I don't know how this thing works. What we decided. But there it is. I hope I see you soon and talk soon even. Bye."

He relistened to it two more times before making the decision to call her back. It rang a couple of times and he almost froze when he heard her.

"Hello?" Rory asked. "Jess?"

He took a deep breath before answering. "Hey."

"Hi," she said in a low voice.

"I got your message," he told her. "I'm sorry I missed it."

"That's okay," she replied. "I was worried you just didn't want to answer for me."

"No," he quickly defended. "I was...I came back to Philly."

"Oh," she sounded surprised.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Thought maybe it was time to actually work."

"That's great," Rory replied. There was a distance to her voice and he hated that he put it there.

"Rory?" He asked. "I'm sorry I made you leave."

"You didn't make me," she told him and he imagined a small smile that she would use to try to assure him that's the truth.

He let out a small smile of his own. "Yeah I did. But thanks for not saying it."

"No problem," she joked.

"So you're in Stars Hollow?" Jess found himself asking. "How's your mom?"

"Good," she answered. "We went to Friday night dinner."

Jess laughed. "Oh. That must have been a lot of fun."

"Eeh," she laughed, too. "It wasn't what I expected exactly."

He smirked as they eased back into old conversations. "That good, huh?"

"It started good," she answered. "But then I mentioned you and turns out Emily Gilmore can't change her stripes as fully as you'd think."

He sat down on his couch and put his feet up. "Who would have figured Emily Gilmore for a tiger?"

"Oh, I'm surprised you haven't already," she teased.

"I may have thought something to the extent," Jess shrugged in joke.

"Mom was pretty funny," Rory laughed again and he was glad for the sound. "She kept trying to change the subject. It was really amusing."

"What else did you do?" He asked once she stopped listing all the topic changes Lorelai gave.

She was quiet for a few seconds then spoke up again. "I mostly stayed at Mom's. Spent some time with Evan and saw Lane and the family."

"That sounds nice," he nodded.

"It was," she agreed. "And your mom's back. They got here this afternoon."

"Huh," he replied. "Guess the faire ended."

"We're having dinner with her, Doula and TJ tomorrow," Rory confirmed. "And April is coming to visit so its good timing."

Jess felt a pang at everyone getting together without him. "Sounds like a great family dinner."

"Hopefully," she missed his tone and kept the conversation going. "I don't know exactly how Doula will treat me this time around."

"She'll be fine," he assured her. "If you want, I can call her."

Jess pictured a relieved smile cross Rory's face. "You'd do that for me?"

"Yeah," he said but mentally added, there's not much I wouldn't do for you.

"Thanks, Jess," she said and this time he heard the smile on her words. "I don't want her to hate me."

"She doesn't hate you," he explained. "She's just very protective of me. Doesn't want me have another girl in my life that can distract from her."

"I guess she won't have that problem, now, huh?" She teased but he heard the sadness in her voice.

Jess instantly came out of teasing mode. "Ror..."

"I know," she said. "We're not broken up. But the not fully together part seems to make it harder on me stealing her brother away."

He wanted to tell her he regretted that. He wanted to tell her it was a stupid idea and how each family member he'd stayed with in California had opened his eyes little by little. But he didn't know what he wanted anymore. Jess only knew he'd always want Rory and he was deathly afraid of it.

She took his silence to mean something else and quickly shot down her last words. "How are Matt and Chris?"

"I haven't seen them yet," he followed her subject change.

"Oh," she simply replied.

"I'll go see them later," he told her. "I only just got home."

"And you called me as soon as you got there?" She asked. Her voice sounded like it was full of some emotion but he couldn't pinpoint which exactly.

"Yeah," Jess sighed. "I called you."

"I'm glad you did," she said.

They were each quiet for a few more seconds and Jess was torn between telling her about going to the airport or telling her about his writing. Rory interrupted his thoughts before he made the decision, though.

"I'm going back to New York the day after tomorrow," she said.

Jess nodded as he thought of being there with her. "That's good. You said you only had a few days, right?"

"Yeah," she said. "But Jess...I want you to promise me something."

He sat up straighter and put his feet back down on the ground. "Of course."

"Promise me that we won't lose touch," she said in a rush.

He was confused by her words. "Why would we lose touch?"

"Because of whatever is happening between us," Rory sighed.

"We're not gonna lose touch," he defended. When she doesn't reply, he asks his own question. "What brought this on?"

"I was talking to Lane," she started. "And I told her I couldn't be just friends with you anymore, that it'd be even harder after this time. And then after I called you, I thought of how much I like being able to call you."

He smiled softly. "I like being able to call you, too."

"Remember what I said those months ago?" Rory asked. "How I don't want you not be in my life anymore? I still mean it. Even if I don't understand what's happening with us right now."

"I still mean it, too," he told her and he imagined a small smile crossing her lips. "How about we make a plan?"

"What kind of a plan?" She asked skeptically.

"That we call each other," he explained. "That we still talk."

"Just that we talk?" She wondered. "That doesn't sound like much of a plan besides saying we'll call."

"It will be a plan," he said. "We'll set aside time for each other and maybe it will make things easier while we're apart."

Rory sighed on the other end. "So we're still half together, half broken-up?"

"I don't even know if that was a good idea," he whispered.

"What?" She asked, not sure she heard him right.

"Maybe that wasn't a good idea," he said louder. "The whole half-in, half-out thing."

"Okay," she said slowly. "What does that mean then? Are we officially over?"

"No," he answered quickly. "Not over."

Rory was probably making a confused face on the other end of the line. Jess imagined it and smiled again. He always thought that face was adorable. "So what are we then?"

"I was thinking a lot this past week," he took a breath. "Talking to...well, I guess my family. Its weird calling Jimmy that. But I don't really want some stupid line set between us."

"Okay," she processed. "You're gonna have to tell me, Jess because right now, I'm not sure what else I can take."

He let out another breath and started his words. "If you want...if you still want to, I mean..."

"Jess," she said impatiently. Rory didn't want him to know how much she was hanging on his words.

"I want to be with you," he said. "I always have and I'm stupid and an ass and I guess I did have some more growing up to do."

"I'll agree with that," Rory said and he smiled again. "And I do still want it. You've been a jerk but I can't let you go."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Good."

"Wait," she said. "But you said while we're apart. What does that mean if you don't want to be broken up?"

"I mean I'm in Philadelphia and you're gonna go back to New York," he clarified. "I should probably actually get some stuff done here."

"Oh," she said. "So you're staying there?"

"Maybe," he sighed. "Only because I have to make sure they didn't burn down Truncheon."

Rory laughed at that. "Well, that would be a good reason to check on them."

"If Matt and Chris ask..." He said.

"We're together," she finished. "You can tell them that we are."

He felt relief flood that she didn't say no. "Okay. Good."

"Good," Rory agreed then it sounded like someone talked to her on the other end. He listened to muffled voices but couldn't make out what they were saying. "My mom needs help."

"What's she doing?" He asked, amused.

"I'm not entirely sure," she laughed. "Something Luke doesn't approve of."

Jess laughed, too. "Well, that could be anything."

Her laughter stopped. "I'm glad you called, Jess."

"I'm glad you did, too," he told her. "We'll talk later?"

"Yeah," she said. "I think its my turn to call you now."

"Right," he replied. "Bye, Rory."

"Bye," she whispered and the line went dead.

Jess leaned back onto the cushions and hung up his own phone. He really hoped he didn't fuck this up.

...

Luke brought Rory food as she sat at the counter of the diner. He had told Lorelai to go have dinner with Sookie already after she had tried decorating the diner. He veto-ed the baby streamers she wanted to do and the baby pool. Kirk was upset that he wouldn't get to put his dollar down for when he assumed the baby would be born.

She greedily bit the burger, glad to be home even if it was just for a short amount of time. Rory couldn't deny that she was also glad that Jess had called. She was still upset about what happened but she knew she wanted to be with him. The rest was going to fall into place, right?

Luke went back to taking orders and Lane had already gone home. There wasn't many people in the diner since it was late besides Kirk and a few others though.

He came back to her once he brought a table another cup of coffee and stood in front of her. "What? Is there food on my face?"

"No," Luke shook his head. "You just seem different."

Rory chuckled and put down the rest of her food. "Different how?"

"I don't know," he replied. "But you seem more...up than when you came here."

"I am more up," she said.

He smiled slightly at her. "Good. I'm glad."

She pushed her food an inch away as she readied herself to tell him what happened. "Jess called."

His face turned serious, worried. As much as he loved his nephew, he couldn't help loving the girl in front of him like a daughter. He wanted to protect her from any hurt even if from family. "What did he say?"

"I called him first," she started. "And I left him a message so he was returning the call."

"Uh-huh," he followed. "Did he finally pull his head out of his ass?"

"Luke," Rory said.

"I know," he shook his head. "Continue."

"We...we made a decision," she told him. "To not be halfway in this anymore. That we're together."

"And you're okay with that?" He asked.

"Yeah, I am," she smiled. "I know we have to work on stuff, but...I want it to work."

"So what are you guys going to do?" He asked.

Rory half-shrugged but not out of indifference. "Right now, he's back at work. Thinks maybe he should actually work there and I'm going back to New York. But we're gonna call a lot."

"And you're sure?" Luke tried to confirm. "Even with what happened?"

"I'm not an idiot," she said. "I know we said some crappy things and he left. But I also know that I can't picture being without him, not anymore. No one knows me like Jess does. Not even Mom."

The mention of Lorelai gets his attention. "Does she know about this? You two being back together?"

"Not yet," she shook her head. "Mom might want to cause him physical harm though, so I'm not sure I should tell her yet."

"When would you tell her?" He wondered.

"After the baby is born?" She joked and Luke tilted his head at her. "I know. I'll tell her."

"Don't wait too long," he told her. "You know how she gets when she's the last to know."

Rory made a face. "You're right."

"Just tell her before Kirk tells Babette," he whispered.

Rory looked over at his table. He didn't look like he had heard their conversation but you can never tell with Kirk. "Crap."

She grabbed her purse and headed upstairs. Luke called to her, "Your food!"

"Right," she laughed as she grabbed the burger off the plate and ran up the stairs.

As soon as she was upstairs, she took out her phone and called her mom. "Hello?"

"Hey, Mom," she gasped.

"Hun, are you okay?" Lorelai asked. "You sound out of breath."

"I ran up some stairs," Rory explained.

Lorelai was surprised. "Uh-huh. How come?"

"Because I had to beat Kirk," she went on.

"At?"

"Telling the whole town before I tell you."

"You're not making any sense," her mother said.

"I know," Rory said and just blurted it out. "Me and Jess are back together."

"What?" She said. "I didn't think I heard you right."

"We're back together," she repeated. "I called him. He called back."

"Okay," Lorelai tried to process. "And?"

"And we decided we rather be together than apart," she added.

"But what about what he said?" She questioned. "The not fully being back together thing?"

"Gone," she made a gesture with her hand even though she was alone. "We're gonna talk on the phone and work on it but we're together."

"Wow, okay," she said. "And you're okay with this?"

Rory nodded. "I am."

"Then as long as you're happy," Lorelai said.

"I am happy," Rory told her.

"Good," she replied. "I don't have to draw and quarter him then?"

"Oh my god, no!" Rory laughed.

Lorelai laughed with her. "Just checking."

"Mom?" She asked, needing to say it to someone.

"Yeah, sweets?" She answered.

"Is this wrong?" Rory wondered. "Getting back together?"

"Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to be with him?"

"Yes."

"Then as long as you're both in it 100%, it can't be wrong," she advised.

Rory nodded and sat down at the table, finally putting her burger down. "So you really don't think I'm making a mistake?"

"Do I think he could have handled things way better? Yes," Lorelai said. "But a mistake? No, I don't think so because if you really want something, you should go for it."

"Thanks, Mom," she smiled.

"Anytime, kiddo," she said back.

...

Truncheon was about ready to close when Jess finally walked into the door. Chris didn't even turn to look before telling him, "Sorry. We're about to close."

"Damn," Jess teased. "And I was wondering if you had any skin mags."

"Jess?" Chris laughed as he finally turned around. "When did you get in?"

"Few hours ago," he shrugged. "I got settled in before coming to see you and Matt's ugly faces."

"If we're gonna start naming ugly faces..." Chris pointed at Jess' which just made him laugh again. "What are you doing here?"

"Did you fire me?" He faked disappointment. "Someone should have told me."

"You're not fired," Chris said. "I'm just surprised to see you here. I thought you were in the love bubble over in NYC."

"I was," he nodded. "Then I went and visited family in California so it seemed appropriate you were next on my list."

"Whoa, you left?" He wondered. "What happened?"

Jess remembered the phone call with Rory earlier, how she said he can tell them they're together. He also thought further back to things Matt said and he really didn't feel like hearing his opinion on any of it.

"Just went to go see my dad," he answered. "Rory came, too."

"Oh, good," he sounded relieved. "That sounds nice."

"It was," he agreed and went to sit on the couch. "I hadn't seen them in a while."

"So what?" Chris followed him and sat on the single chair. "You're here how long?"

"I thought I'd catch on work," he simply answered then gave a sly glance over to his friend. "Work on my new book."

"Shit," Chris grinned. "How much of a book is there?"

"Almost more than The Subsect," Jess replied.

Chris sat up straighter. "Shit."

"I'll let you know when I get more," he told him.

"Can I read what you have?" He asked and Jess shook his head. "Why not?"

"I'm not showing anyone yet until its done," he said.

"Fine," he faked hurt. "Does this mean Matt doesn't either?"

"Not even Matt," he clarifed.

"Well, good," he crossed his arms triumphantly. "As long as he doesn't get to read it first like he does with all of your books."

Jess laughed, thinking how he had someone else in mind to show it to first. "No. He won't be the first."

 **A/N: I know, I know. They shouldn't be apart and I really hope you can wait just a tiny bit longer, like one chapter, because next one will be worth it! I have this planned so everything I'm doing, I have a reason for it all :)**

 **And thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and anything with this fic because it means a lot. I wish I could express how much it means but I don't think there's words. And please trust me, you'll really like what I have in mind!**

 **And also, YES THE RED NOTEBOOK! One of my favorite Jess mysteries because it appears in season four and I truly, canonily believe that is where he started his writing. It's right there in things to notice with Jess getting a cell phone. A lot of people don't notice that for some reason but he did get one!**


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for reviews! I don't know if you understand what they mean to me and how excited I get each time there's a new one. You all are amazing. And incredibly patient so as a present, the next chapter will be up -hopefully - in a day or two. I'm snowed in for the weekend and have already started the next chapter. I really hope you think its worth it!**

Jess grabbed the final paper off of the printer and piled them all together. He shuffled them and made sure they were in order as he checked the number on the bottom of each page. When he was satisfied

with them, Jess stuffed them into an envelope with another small, folded piece of paper.

As he wrote the name on the outside of it, he stalled his hand from movement. Jess sighed a moment before continuing the words. He wanted to immediately get it sent out so Jess grabbed his jacket and walked downstairs.

The day was chilly for November. He'd been back in Philadelphia a little over a month now. At first, it was weird adjusting to his apartment again and going to Truncheon. But he quickly picked up the usualness and it almost felt like he never left.

The mailbox wasnt that far from his building but he still held it close to him. He'd never done this before, sent something of this magnitude through the mail. He wasn't even sure it was the right way to send it but he knew her. Jess knew she'd want it in her hands rather than an electronic screen.

After finally reaching the mailbox, he stared down at the envelope. This was too impersonal, he thought. Sending it like you would a Christmas card to someone you don't even talk to anymore. And just throwing it down into an out of town mailbox was like cherry on top.

Jess shook his head once and backtracked to where his car was parked. He wasn't stupid enough to go drive to see her at this very moment. She was probably at work, too, so he'd be waiting for her. He was just determined to get this out to her already. It needed to be on its way.

It didn't take him long to get to his car. He was thankful his keys were in his pocket as well as his wallet. This could have ended up way worse had he not. Jess started the car and pulled out, prepared to drive to the post office.

He was never sure of their hours but he knew they must be open. It was only early afternoon so they couldn't close that early, right?

The drive wasn't too long and Jess pulled into a space. He waited in line patiently once he got inside and finally was called to the front. The girl smiled at him and he handed her the envelope. She weighed the package for him and looked at the location - _New York City_ \- and told him how much it'd be.

Jess gave her a smile as he grabbed cash out of his wallet. He couldn't believe he forgot packages needed to be weighed. Grateful for her help, he told her so and walked out the door.

The ride back to his apartment, Jess spent it thinking about the reaction to what he just did. He wasn't even sure she'd care about it. He just knew they were on good terms again. They talked almost every day on the phone since the decision. Although they haven't seen each other since California, it still hadn't changed how he felt about her.

When he pulled up to his apartment building, Jess thought once again how if he's at home, he's gonna be thinking of her and her reaction. It worried him that she'd hate it or hate that he sent it. Worse, he worried she wouldn't even comment and pretend it didn't exist.

He made the quick decision to drive over to Truncheon Books. The drive there wasn't long, either and he was glad for it. He suddenly had the urge to dive into usual banter with his coworkers and ignore the envelope he left back at the post office on its way to New York City.

The place was quiet when he walked inside. There was customers roaming the shelves or talking amongst themselves. Matt and Chris were nowhere in sight but he spotted Drea by a corner and walked right to her.

"Hey," she said as she turned around. "I thought you were coming in later."

Jess shrugged. "Decided I'd come by now. Got bored."

"Oh," she pouted. "Well, I could use help organizing these new books."

"What are they?" He asked and she tilted a few of the covers over so he could see. "Oh, I know where they go."

Drea smiled brightly. "You're a lifesaver."

"Just call me candy," he smirked and took some of the books from her hands.

"Its a mint," she corrected.

He smirked. "Potato, pototo."

"Matt and Chris here?" Jess asked.

Drea pointed upstairs. "Matt's here. Chris went out."

He sighed, not really exactly excited Matt was the only one there. He'd cleverly avoided any chance at Rory mentions since coming back here. Either Chris had always been around when she was brought up or he changed subjects. He probably wouldn't get so lucky when they find out what he sent.

Jess nodded to Drea as he took two steps at a time upstairs. Matt was in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal when he found him.

"You're here early," Matt looked up from his bowl and remarked.

Jess simply nodded in return. "Figured I'd come check out the place."

"Still standing," Matt grinned.

"Color me surprised," he smirked.

Matt stood up and washed his bowl, drowning the milk into the sink. When he was finished, he turned around. "Really, though. You don't like to come in earlier than supposed to."

"Actually had some good news," he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Oh yeah?" Matt raised his eyebrow curiously.

"I was gonna tell you and Chris together but..." He sighed.

"Chris has a lunch date," Matt teased. "With some girl he met a few days ago."

"Good for him," Jess commented. "Really."

Matt crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter. "So what's the news? You getting married?"

He shook his head, laughing. "No. Not getting married."

"Then what?" He waited.

"Remember the book I was writing?" Matt nodded. "I finished it."

"What?" He stepped away from the counter and closer to the small table. "When?"

"Today," Jess shrugged.

"Shit, that's fantastic," Matt grinned. "Well, where is it? Can I read it?"

"Not yet," he answered.

Matt's excited look fell away. "Why not?"

"I'm waiting on the first reader," Jess looked down at his feet as he muffled his words.

Matt didn't even take that long to guess. "Rory's reading it first?"

"If she wants to," he shrugged. "I sent her the pages as soon as I finished."

"So what?" He asked. "You're gonna hear back tonight?"

Jess shook his head. "It won't get to her that fast."

"What'd you send it by, real mail?" He laughed and stopped once he saw he hit the right answer. "You sent your new book in the mail?"

"Yep," Jess popped the p.

"So how long do we wait?" He questioned. "Do you know how long mail takes to get to New York?"

Another head shake. "I'm not sure. But it could be soon."

Matt sat back down at the table and looked up towards his friend. "Well, why didn't you go down there yourself? Show up at her front door, book in hand? Could have been romantic."

"I've got work here," he answered, trying to steer away from the real reason he didn't.

Matt eyed him suspiciously. "Uh-huh. That never kept you here before."

"It does now," Jess walked into the kitchen further and grabbed his own cup of coffee out of habit.

"Uh-huh," he repeated. "What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on," he told him. "We're both working and I think if I went there and she didn't like it..."

"But she still could not like it," he pointed out. "Whethee you're there or not."

"I want her read it without me over her shoulder," he sighed and told him the truth. "I want Rory to read it like she would read anything else and form an opinion on if its good."

"You do know she worships your books, right?" Matt said.

Jess cringed. He wouldn't use the word worship. "No."

"You're an idiot," he laughed. "And now we have to wait extra time for her to read it because you're one."

"Fine, I'm an idiot," he smiled slightly. "But I do want her to read it without me right there, pressuring her to like it."

"Oh, come on," Matt turned in his seat. "You know she'll like it no matter what."

He simply shrugged and drank some of his coffee. "Maybe."

...

Rory pressed send on her latest article and almost groaned in relief. She'd been writing all day and finally, she had finished it. There wasn't many people left in the building but she knew the last of the editors were there as well as her bosses. The place was almost deserted and it creeped her out a little.

She waited for a response and finally, one came. It told her to print it out and hand it to Leigh, who was one of the editors that arranged the articles. Rory smiled in relief, glad to be finished and pressed print.

Article in hand and purse on her arm, she walked away from her desk and out to the editing room. Leigh stood over a giant board as she tried to figure out where what went. Rory knocked lightly on the door and Leigh looked up.

"One more," Rory said as she handed her the paper.

"Thanks," Leigh smiled at her and looked down at the board. "I've been trying to figure this out for a while now."

Rory looked at the board, too and saw where she was having trouble. "You could put that one over there. And that article would look good there."

The other woman moved the pieces around and smiled. "Yeah. I like that."

Rory pointed to another. "Maybe that can go right there on the front."

"Yeah," she agreed. "That's a good idea."

Rory ended up staying another half hour as she helped move the articles to the right places. When she finally left, she smiled as she walked to the car. It was later than she hoped to go home but it was nice to feel like she helped with more than writing.

Her car chirped as she unlocked it with the remote and she walked right to it. Once inside, she leaned her head back and relaxed. Finally, she pulled out and drove home.

Rory picked up Thai food on the way home and settled in to eat on the couch like her and mother had used to years ago. Her phone rang as she settled in and Rory quickly went to check who it was. She smiled softly as she read her mom's name.

"Hey, Mom," she answered.

"Loin fruit!" Lorelai shouted.

Rory laughed at her mother's excitement. "Please don't tell me that's back."

"It never left," she gasped. "You know, its not sexy. Justin Timberlake can't bring it back."

"And on the list of years ago references used by Lorelai Gilmore..." Rory mused.

Lorelai gasped again. "Hey! Sexy back will never go out of style!"

"If you say so," she said as she went to sit back on the couch.

"So I actually have a reason for calling," Lorelai explained.

"Do tell," Rory nodded once.

"Thanksgiving is next week," she replied. "And a while ago, Luke asked your kinda boyfriend about coming in."

"Take out the kinda," Rory corrected. "And carry on."

"Well, the take out the kinda boyfriend said you two would be coming," she finished.

"Oh," Rory said. She wasn't really sure what else to say.

"And I was just wondering if that...was still accurate?" She asked.

"We never talked about it," she answered. "Not even before everything. I'll have to ask him."

"Okay," her mother said. "But if he says no...would you still maybe come?"

"You have to ask?" She faked hurt.

"Just checking," she made sure. "I've missed seeing you. I haven't seen you since you left."

"You can visit me, you know," Rory pointed out. "You've been to New York City before for me."

"I know," she half-whined. "But hubby says he has to come with me because he doesn't trust me with all the coffee shops around."

"So basically, you're on probation," she clarified.

"Only a little." Rory bet that if she could see her mother right then, she'd be pouting.

"Uh-huh," she smiled. "You're on probation ."

Lorelai made a sound that sounded like slapping her hands against her legs. "How could he not trust me?"

"Because he's met you?" She suggested.

"Hey, I gave you life," she warned. "Watch what you say."

"Watching," Rory surrendered. "So put me down for Thanksgiving."

"Done," she said. "And Jess?"

"I'll talk to him, I promise," she replied.

"Okay, kid," Lorelai said. "Do it before the holiday comes, too?"

"I'll try," she told her.

They continued on for a little while longer. Rory called Jess not long after her and her mother had hung up. His phone went straight to voicemail and she pouted, sad she missed him.

She finally decided on a movie to watch, too. Having tried to call Jess and not getting him had left her itching for things they had done in high school. She spied Almost Famous in its cover and put it in. But right as William discovered his sister's music collection, something caught her eye.

The red notebook lay underneath magazines on her coffee table. Every so often since returning home, Rory flipped through it. Certain words or phrases had caught her eye but she never read it fully.

Rory reached out and pushed the magazines aside. She grabbed the red notebook and flipped it open once again. The page she turned to was mostly scribbles. There wasn't much sentence-wise besides a small statement on the bottom.

 _I never meant to hurt her._

Rory stared at the words as the entire meaning of the sentence sunk in. He didn't mean to hurt her. Which time, she wondered. The accident, when he left, everything with Dean? Or keeping the stuff about school and his dad from her? What if he meant the party? What if he meant it all?

Before she realized what she was doing, she read through each page. It wasn't until her eyes were exhausted and the movie was over did she see how much she read.

"I got to talk to him," she whispered and tried her phone again. It went straight to voicemail again and she sighed. Where was he?

...

Four days later, Rory walked into work and headed straight for her desk. She saw Leslie and Leigh whispering to each other which usually would not make her suspicious but today it was. There was also that they just looked over at her.

She sat down and started looking through the papers on her desk as Leslie came up to her. Rory looked up curiously at her boss. "Come to my office."

"Did I do something -?" She started.

"No, not at all," Leslie smiled at her. "I just want to speak to you in my office."

Rory slowly stood from her chair and started to follow her out. "Okay."

When she walked into the office, she saw the other boss, Harold Barker, standing beside the desk. Rory slowly sat down and instantly worried.

An hour later, she walked out of the office with a smile playing on her lips. When she walked into there, she had feared they were letting her go. But now, as she walked out, Rory realized she was happy. She couldn't wait for a chance to get on her phone and tell someone.

Her mind went instantly to the one person she'd barely talked to in the last four days. Sure, it wasn't like her and Jess didn't talk since the night she read the red notebook. But it was always brief or the other was busy. They'd made promises to call later but ended up even busier.

Lunch time rolled around and Rory grabbed her purse and instead of heading out for food immediately, she locked herself in the bathroom. She checked the stalls to make sure no one was there and dialed her phone.

It rang a few times before finally a scratchy voice answered and she felt her heart leap. "Yeah?"

"Hey," she whispered so her voice wouldn't echo.

She could imagine Jess sitting up straighter as he replied next. "Hey."

"Did I wake you?" She wondered. "I mean, its 12:30 but you sound tired."

"I didnt get to sleep until 7 am," he said. "Stupid Matt forgot to pay the printers so we were up all night."

"I'm sorry," she said sympathetically. "I can call back -"

"No," he replied. "We haven't really talked that much the last few days."

She nodded in agreement. "No, we haven't."

"Is this just a hey or did something happen then?" He wondered out loud.

"Both," she smiled.

"Okay," she could almost hear a smile. "What's going on then? I hope good news."

"The boss just had a talk with me in her office," she explained.

Jess took a breath. "Just Leslie or the male one too?"

She smiled at how neither of them called Harold by his name still. "Both."

"And?" He wondered.

"And I got promoted," she smiled, saying it out loud for the first time. "To editor."

"Shit," he said but the way he said it was happy. Excited, even. "So you're -"

"Editor of The New York Times?" She laughed. "If I want it, yes."

"If you want it?" He sounded surprised. "You mean you don't?"

"I don't know," she said. "I mean, I love what I do. I love the writing. But editor. Oh, I want it."

"So tell them yes," he urged. "You know you want to."

"I do," she sighed dreamily. "I do want it."

Jess laughed at her tone. "What'd you tell them?"

"That I'll think it over," Rory said. "I didn't want to seem too eager."

"Be eager," he told her. "That's pretty fucking exciting."

"I know," she beamed. "I'm definitely excited. I don't even know how it happened."

"You were editor of Yale Daily News," Jess pointed out.

"This is New York Times," she gushed. "I never thought this would happen. I still pinch myself that I work here."

"So keep pinching," he chuckled. "Better yet, I'll pinch you. Fun for me and you both."

"Jess," she laughed and shook her head.

"I'm happy for you, Rory," he said. "Really."

"Thank you," she couldn't stop smiling.

There was a knock on the door and she looked over to it. Finally, she remembered that she was in the bathroom and that other people probably had to come in. "What's that?"

"I'm kind of locked in the bathroom at work," she laughed.

"You what?" Jess was laughing on the other end.

"Shut up," she laughed. "I have to go, I guess."

"Okay," he said, sobering up. "Do me a favor?"

She nodded. "Sure."

"Check the mail?" Jess asked.

She squinted her eyes at the phone in her hand. "Okay. Why?"

"Just check it," he said.

Rory agreed. "I'll check it, I promise."

"Okay," he replied. "Go back to lunch or what you got to do. I'll call you later."

Now it was her turn to ask. "Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise," he answered.

The knocking came back and they said their goodbyes and hung up.

...

When Rory got home that night, she checked her mail, as promised. There was a thick envelope nudged into the box and she pulled it out slowly. She wondered if that was what he asked for.

Sure enough, Jess' handwriting was scrawled across the top. As quickly as she could, she grabbed the rest of it and went up to her apartment. Once inside, Rory ripped the top of the envelope open curiously.

Inside was over two hundred typed pages. She pulled them each out and saw that it was yet untitled. But the first page said a novel by Jess Mariano and instantly she smiled. "Oh my god."

She put coffee on and waited impatiently for it to finish. When it finally was, she sat on the couch and started reading.

For the next week, she would read it every free chance she got. Work had been piling up but when she was home and had nothing else to do, she would settle in and continue reading.

...

Jess finished cleaning off his dish from dinner when he heard the knocking at the door. He looked over at the door in wonderment. He wasn't supposed to be at Truncheon tonight so it couldn't be anyone from work. Unless they were just coming over but he doubted that, too.

The knocking continued as he left the dish in the sink and went to check who it was. When Jess did open the door, he almost lost his breath.

Rory stood in front of him, fist in the air ready to knock again. She lowered her hand and looked out of breath herself. "Hey."

Jess felt a smile creep up on his face. "What are you doing here?"

"I checked the mail," she replied.

He nodded at her, understanding. "And?"

"It was amazing," she smiled.

"You think so?" He smiled back and Rory nodded.

"It's..." She sighed, not able to find the words she was looking for. She gave up on her search and instead reached up and kissed him.


	43. Chapter 43

It took barely an instant for him to respond. His hands wrapped around her, clinging her to him. Her arms wrapped around him too as her hands went straight to his hair. They stood there kissing in the doorway for what seemed like minutes.

Rory broke apart first, panting. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be."

"Maybe I shouldn't have come here," she shook her head too.

His hands loosened on her as he began to think of her regret. "Why did you?"

"I just finished your book and then I found the letter..." She trailed off and he was almost reminded of her speech in Philadelphia after he kissed her.

Jess' ears picked up the last part seconds late. "You found the letter?"

Rory nodded. "I found it when I went to put the pages back in the envelope. They wouldn't go in right, like something was stopping them."

He smiled at the frustrated look on her face as she remembered. His hands tightened on her waist again. "And?"

"I love you, too," she smiled softly. "Always have, always will."

Jess kissed her this time and lifted her inside his apartment. He kicked the door shut behind them and she smiled against his lips. He carried her to the couch and was about to take her further in when she smiled against his lips, causing him to smile, too.

The bedroom door wasn't closed as efficiently as the front door. Neither felt any need to either. He laid Rory down on the bed, their mouths never separating. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her hands moved to his shirt to pull him closer.

He pulled away first, almost worried to mention what he was thinking. "What are we doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked teasingly.

Jess smiled at her. That was something he would usually say. "No, I know that. But what are we doing?"

"We're making up for not seeing each other in over a month," she replied, her legs wrapped around him still.

"Right," he agreed and kissed her again. "I missed you."

"Aww, not used to going that long?" She teased.

"Shut up," he smirked. "You know what I mean."

"I know," Rory smiled. "I missed you too."

Their lips crashed together once again and Jess leaned down closer. His weight rested on his elbows as he hovered above Rory. She wiggled to reach the pillow better and he moved himself to catch up.

They stayed like that for more minutes almost as if they were horny teenagers who finally got the place to themselves. Neither cared and neither stopped. Rory removed her lips from Jess' and started kissing down his neck which caused a groan to sound from his throat.

She smiled against his skin but said nothing. Jess decided it was turn to take over, flipping them so he was on top. She gasped in surprise before she went back to work on his neck. His hands gripped her bottom as he let her do what she wanted.

Rory grinned in triumph as she started kissing his collarbone through his shirt. She sat up straight, straddling him, and commanded, "Off."

"Yes, ma'am," Jess sat up himself and pulled the T-shirt over his head.

Rory nodded. "Much better."

Instead of heading for any of the newly exposed skin, Rory's mouth attacked Jess' again. He kissed her back feverishly, his hands moving higher and placed palm flat on her back.

His position stayed upright as he pulled her flush to him, bare chest to sweater. This time, his mouth moved to her neck and he grinned at his chance. Rory's eyes fluttered as she enjoyed the feel of his lips, sometimes tongue, on her.

His hands moved to the her front, to the hem of her sweater. Jess tugged on it and repeated her demand. "Off."

Rory let out a small laugh as she pulled the fabric over her head. Underneath, she still had a tank top on but Jess didn't care. He loved peeling off each layer. As soon as her sweater was on the floor, his mouth was attached to hers again.

...

 _Rory took all the pages back together and grabbed the envelope. When the papers wouldn't go back in, she peered inside the yellow pages. Something was stopping the printed pages from going back in and she wanted to know why._

 _A folded piece of white lined paper sat at the very bottom of the envelope. She reached her hand in to take it out and saw Jess' handwriting scrawled on it. This made her even more curious. Was this a note? Like something to say 'call me when you finish this'?_

 _Hesitantly, she unfolded the paper with shaky hands. Rory couldn't put into words why she was so nervous to read whatever it was he wrote. She just finished his novel for God's sake. She told herself to stop being a baby and started to read it._

 _Rory -_

 _Right now you're probably wondering what the hell this is. You're probably not wondering about the pages I sent you as compared to wondering about this particular page though. So I'll tell you right away what it is. Its my thoughts, my apologies. Its what I need to say to you but never could._

 _Eleven years ago, when I came to your dorm, Luke had just given me a self-help book. It was about repairing relationships and being able to earn forgiveness. I guess it's what got him to finally admit his feelings for your mom. I know for me, it was what made me think I can finally deserve yours._

 _I panicked that night when I saw Dean there. I know its not an excise for asking you to run away with me. It's not even an excuse for anything I said or did to you that night. I went there in hopes of talking to you, to try to make things right. But I knew I screwed up and you were right to say no. I wasn't someone you could count on. At least not yet._

 _But I do still believe what I said to you. I did know we were supposed to be together since the moment I first saw you. I don't know what it was but the second I peered into your room, I knew my life was changed. I just hope you think it too because if you don't, I don't know if I could handle that._

 _To really make an apology to you, I have to go further back. I know we talked about some of this stuff when you came to California but I've never been that good with saying words. I was always much better at writing them. Maybe its why I became a writer. Its probably why I'm writing this now instead of just telling you._

 _When Jimmy came to see me in Stars Hollow, it was like an out. I didn't want an out from you or Luke even but I think I needed one. You really did deserve better, Rory. Maybe you think not, maybe you still say you wanted me and should have gotten the chance to decide. But the me I was then didn't deserve you. Going away led me to rock bottom. I'm pretty sure I needed to hit that before coming back._

 _I really did want to get to know my father though. I wanted to find out why he left and how could he do that to his child. I don't necessarily think it was a mistake to leave but it was wrong how I did it. I should have talked to you. You'd actually have understood better than anyone considering your father. I will always regret that._

 _When I saw you on the bus the morning I left, instead of just mentioning I couldn't get prom tickets, I should have told you why. I should have told you I went on line for them and they sent me to the principal's office where he informed me I wasn't graduating._

 _Strike that as another thing I was embarrassed about. I didn't even tell Luke until we were in the middle of a fight. I was just so disappointed in myself because you always thought I'd be something and there I was, not graduating. And for what? Riding a forklift at Wal-Mart? It wasn't worth it._

 _I don't think words can ever explain how sorry I am about everything that happened from the second I found out I wasn't graduating to the second I left your dorm room._

 _I should have made contact the months I was gone. I kept calling and hanging up, you knew this. I didn't know what to say. What could I say? Then you told me goodbye and that you were letting me go. After that, I made my own goodbye to you._

 _When I came back to town for my car, I shouldn't have run away from you. I still didn't deserve you and I knew talking to you would kill me. I'd hoped you moved on and it wouldn't hurt you as much. I hoped it was only me that still cared._

 _I think I followed you that night because I knew I was leaving. My car was fixed and it was, at the time, the last time I'd ever see you. I thought it was my last chance. Because even if you never wanted to see me again, if I never saw you again. You needed to know you weren't just another girl to me. You had to know I loved you._

 _Just like I still do love you. Always have, always will._

 _I was actually surprised that when I came to your grandparent's home that you seemed happy to see me. Maybe it had nothing to do with me. Maybe it was just nice to see a familiar face in the middle of the stuff happening with your mom. I don't know. But whatever it was, I'm glad for it._

 _Those two nights, I felt like we were us again. Not the us we were when we were together. Though that us still talked about books and movies and anything, really, anything but what we should have. But it felt like the us we were when we met. When I was falling in love with you and you were with Dean so I couldn't do anything about it._

 _Then Logan came and I saw the whole thing again. I felt seventeen again. In love with a girl I couldn't have while this other guy somehow got to be with her. It killed me inside to be that guy again._

 _I'm glad you went back to school and your mom. I think its the first time I helped push someone toward something. Its nice to know I did something good for you for once._

 _I'm not gonna get into Philadelphia. I'll probably end up making you feel guilty and I think we both know I treated you worse than that. Just know that even after that night, even when you told me you loved Logan no matter what, I still loved you._

 _I'm gonna skip ahead to recently because this is getting long and this is more than I've ever been able to explain. I'm not sure why I've been such a dick lately. I could make excuses or lie my way through it. I could even say I guess I still don't deserve you but even I know that won't work._

 _I'll start simple. The part that set me off the most was when you told me about Dean. Not because I'm judging you, god knows I've made some pretty bad decisions myself. But its just that guy himself. I don't think no matter how much I grow up or change, I can't think rationally when it comes to him._

 _There's his snide comments he made when we were together. About getting you back or saying you had a leash on me that he didn't have to hold back that he had when you were with him. There's the night at your grandmother's where you thought my black eye was from Dean. You remember your words after I said what if he sucker punched me? "Dean wouldn't do that."_

 _And yet he did. Right after that disaster at the party. As much as I'd like to say he did the right thing hitting me after seeing you cry, I can't. Because I was still this fucked up kid and it closed me off when I wanted to talk to you after you left. I know its my fault, too. But he didn't help very much._

 _I became a jerk to try to hide how I felt. That doesn't excuse it, either and believe me, I'm not trying to. But you do need to know about it. I'm sorry for everything I said. Most of all, about Shane. I was baiting you and I knew it. I shouldn't have and I'm sorry about that._

 _Maybe I still don't deserve you. Who knows? You could say you do but for some reason, I got lucky. I got you to love me and I don't think you'll make a rational decision when it comes to me._

 _I guess I should be honored really. You love me too much to let me go completely. I understand it too since its the same thing I felt for twelve years._

 _Before I ramble on longer (Lorelai would be so proud, wouldn't she?), I'm gonna wrap it up. This could never be enough and I'm not trying to make it be. But I've screwed up a lot in my life. A lot of it has been with you. This is why I wrote this. Not just the letter but the novel._

 _I've been slowly writing it ever since you can back into my life this summer. I guess the whole book is like a love letter to you. Its for you, to you, because of you. I hope you like it. And I hope I see you soon._

 _\- Jess_

 _Rory was almost crying at the end of the letter. She grabbed her purse and called Leslie then checked with the airport. She had to see Jess immediately._

...

The door shut behind Jess as he walked back into his bedroom. Rory smiled as he brought two cups of coffee towards her. She tucked her legs underneath her and sat up straight.

"You look like you're about to receive a gift," he laughed as he handed her the cup.

Rory stuck out her tongue and eager ily took a sip. "I am receiving a gift."

"Coffee is not a gift," Jess pointed out. "Not even if you buy it for someone in a supermarket."

"All coffee is always a gift," she corrected.

Jess shook his head and drank some of his own. "You're crazy."

"But you love me," she smiled.

"Which must make me crazy too, then," he remarked.

"Crazy in love," Rory laughed at her own comment.

Jess rolled his eyes dramatically which only made her keep laughing. He tried to take her coffee from her when she wouldn't stop. "I think you don't need anymore of this then."

Rory gripped the cup in her hands tightly. "Take my coffee now and we're over."

Jess raised his eyebrow on return, a challenge. "Really?"

"Really," she nodded then pointed between the two of them. "No more of this, mister."

"Huh," he remarked. "Guess I need my shirt back then."

His hands went to the bottom of the shirt she wore, the same T-shirt he'd been wearing when she came to the door. "Nuh-uh."

"If this is over," he pretended to be serious. "I should have my shirt back."

"Nope," she shook her head childishly. "I'm keeping this shirt."

"So we're dividing up clothing now?" He was so close to laughter.

"Just this," she hugged her arms to herself. "Its comfy."

"Then I want something," Jess hoped off the bed and searched the room through the strewn articles of clothing. "Got it."

Rory gasped as she saw that he held her bra. "No. Nonnegotiable."

"Why?" He teased. "You need it?"

"You're such a jerk," she held her lips tightly together so she wouldn't laugh.

Jess laughed at the look on her face and his hand was free again. He climbed back on the bed and took his cup back. "Fine. You can keep the shirt."

"Thank you," she replied triumphantly. She watched Jess for a second before speaking again. "I missed this."

"What?" He put his drink down. "Sex?"

Rory hit him on the arm. "This. Us."

He smiled softly at her. "Me, too."

"Did you mean it?" She whispered. He nodded, understanding what she meant even without the words. "All of it?"

"Every word," he answered.

Rory leaned in and kissed him. Her hands still held her coffee cup and Jess noticed this. His hands came to hers and took the cup out of her hand just to put it on the table.

Her hands rested on his thighs, driving him crazy. He decided two can play that game and placed his own hands on hers. That drove her even more crazy since she only had the T-shirt on.

"I'm not so thirsty anymore," Rory murmured against Jess' lips.

"Funny," he said. "Neither am I."

They both shifted their positions and Jess crawled on top of her. Rory laid down with her hand on the pillow, lips still attached to his. His hands roamed all over her and she let out a whimper that gave him a shit-eating grin.

He had the strong feeling he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight. And for once in his life, he didn't mind being awake all night.

...

Sometime in the middle of the night, Jess snapped awake. He shot right up and looked down beside him in the bed, seeing Rory fast asleep. The blanket had slid slightly down on her, barely covering her breasts. The night was cold so he pulled it up over her and pulled on the first pair of pants he could find.

He walked into the kitchen and filled a cup up with water. Quickly, he drank it down and winced. It felt like ages since he drank anything. The lights were all off and he could barely see where he walked. He had a feeling he should turn a light on but he didn't want to in case Rory saw.

Moving slowly, he made his way to his laptop. The light buzzed it to life as he opened up the document that was his novel. He wasn't sure how long he had sat there, reading and rereading, making sure it was okay.

The footsteps sounded behind him and he didn't turn. "I couldn't sleep."

"Why didn't you wake me?" Rory asked as she made her way to him.

He shrugged and he felt her arms come around him as she stood behind him now. "Wanted you to sleep."

"I wouldn't mind," she kissed his hair. "Tell me. Why can't you sleep?"

"I'm thinking about the book," he replied. "I wanted to see what you see."

She smiled. "I'm not sure you're capable of seeing what I see."

Jess laughed and kissed her hand that was over his heart. "Maybe not. But I just wanted to see how good it is."

"Its more than good," she confirmed. "I think its your best work."

"Nah," he shook his head. "You're just saying that because of what I said about it in the letter."

"No, I'm not," she said seriously as she took her hands off him and turned his chair around. "I'm saying it because it was amazing."

"Really?" He said in a low voice.

Rory sat herself down onto Jess' lap and wrapped one arm around his neck and the other placed her hand on his cheek. "Really."

He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers lightly. Rory smiled and leaned her forehead to his. "This is nice."

"Yeah, it is," she whispered and kissed him again. "Jess?"

"Hmm?" He murmured.

"The other day when my mom called me," she said as her fingers played with his hair. "She mentioned you saying something to Luke about Thanksgiving."

"Right," he followed.

"Would that be something you still want to do?" She wondered.

"Yeah," he shrugged to pretend it wasn't a big deal. "I was actually going to surprise you there and hope you didn't hate it."

"I'd never hate it," she smiled and he smiled back.

Jess kissed her quickly. "I guess this ruins the surprise, huh?"

"Not at all," Rory shook her head. "Now we get to go together."

"That does sound like a bonus," he agreed.

"Jess?" She asked, her thoughts thinking of the letter again since he mentioned it. "Are we gonna talk about it?"

"Later," he kissed her. "Right now, I think we should go back to sleep."

She snuggled closer to him. "I'm good right here."

Jess laughed but rubbed her back anyway. "You may be but I'm not."

"Fine," she pouted. "But you're carrying me to the bedroom."

He stood up from the chair, Rory in his arms and a shriek out of her mouth. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

...

 _The vibrating sound buzzed loudly and Jess almost jumped. Quickly, he shoved his hand in his pocket and checked the caller's name. He sighed, seeing who it is, and answered._

 _"Hello, Jen," he said._

 _"I am so so sorry," she ranted. "I had no idea you didn't know I was working here."_

 _He shook his head. "Its not your fault."_

 _"Don't blame Rory," she said. "I think she was weirded out by the whole thing."_

 _"The whole thing?" He asked. "You mean my girlfriend and my ex working side by side?"_

 _"Come on, you know her," Jen replied. "You think she purposely hides things from you?"_

 _"No," Jess answered without hesitation. "But to say this is a surprise is an understatement."_

 _He heard her sigh on the other end. "Did you let her explain?"_

 _"Of course I did," he replied._

 _"And then why did you leave?" She asked._

 _"Because we fought," Jess rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Because I said some things."_

 _"You didn't," she said._

 _"I did," he nodded._

 _"You dumbass," Jen laughed. "You're such a dumbass."_

 _"Whoa," he said. "Why is that so funny?"_

 _"Because you've loved this girl for god knows how many years," she explained as soon as her laughter calmed enough. "And you're picking fights over nothing instead of being happy."_

 _"It wasn't nothing," he defended. "I had the right to know you two knew each other."_

 _"Okay, fine," she sighed. "Not over nothing. But over little things then."_

 _"And?" He said. Jen wasn't telling him anything he didn't know already._

 _"And you need to wise up," she scolded. "Don't lose her over something small."_

 _He thought for a moment, silence daring to speak volumes. "I'm trying not to."_

...

Jess rolled over in his bed and reached out. His hands touched air and his eyes opened as he looked at the space beside him. Jess sat up and saw a light coming from the kitchen. "Rory?"

"Yeah?" She called out.

"Where'd you go?" He asked as he climbed out of bed.

He appeared in front of him once he walked out of his bedroom, a smile brightly on her face. "Making coffee."

"What time is it?" He wondered.

"Seven something," she shrugged. "I've been up for maybe ten minutes."

"A gilmore is wide awake at 7 am," he commented and she nodded. "Is this a sign of the apocalypse?"

"I've been up earlier than this," she laughed. "Chilton?"

"Oh, when you were obligated," he nodded with a smirk.

"I still was up," she crossed her arms.

Jess slid onto a chair and sat down. "Uh-huh."

"Be nice or you won't get any coffee," she dared.

That just made him laugh. "I'm sorry. Are you confusing me for you?"

She put out her lower lip and pouted. "Please be nice?"

"Fine," he sighed and pretended to be annoyed. "Put that thing away."

Rory beamed and rushed over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thank you."

"You know," he raised his eyebrows at her. A contest. "I could be persuaded further into this nice thing."

She nodded as she considered. "I'm listening."

"What do you say we go back in there and work out the details?" He put his own arm around her now.

Rory made a thinking face. "I don't know. I'm not that kind of girl."

"What kind of girl is that?" He asked in a husky voice. "Freshly fucked?"

Her face turned every shade of red. "Jess!"

"What?" He chuckled. "Is that not accurate?"

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "You know the answer to that."

"Damn right I do," he smirked.

"You're such a pig," she laughed.

"You love me."

"Maybe."

"Come on," he said. "Admit it."

Rory started to play with his hair behind his head. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he told her and kissed her lightly.

"Jess?" She asked quietly, all joking gone. "We're okay, right?"

"Yeah," he whispered too. "We're okay."

She gave him a smile and leaned in for another kiss. It was slow and sweet and in Rory's eyes, perfect. "There's one more thing."

"What's that?" He asked curiously.

"If we're going back in there," she pointed to the bedroom. "I need my morning coffee."

Jess laughed and shook his head. "Gilmores."


	44. Chapter 44

A/N: You are all absolutely AMAZING. Thank you so much for the reviews (and compliments!) on the last chapter! I can't even put into words how happy I get when I not only see there is a new review but when I read it as well. I couldn't have asked for better readers, really.

"So you found my apartment okay?" Jess asked as he and Rory walked down the Philadelphia streets.

Her arm was linked with his, curled back to help hold her jacket shut. She nodded to answer his question. "Yeah. I found it more than okay."

He watched her curiously. "You asked for directions, didn't you?"

"What? No," Rory gasped then pouted. "Okay. Fine, I asked directions."

"At least you're honest about it," he laughed and kissed her hair.

"Shush," she laughed. "I got there, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did," he grinned. The grin faded slightly as their destination came into place. "We're here."

"Already?" She asked and looked ahead. She didn't want to point out how she didn't remember the stores around Truncheon that well from last time. "Wow."

"So a few warnings," Jess untangled his arm from Rory's and stopped walking. "Chris and Matt, who you've met, are there right now. They're my co-partners. Chris is the better of the two."

"Got it," she nodded seriously.

"And Matt," he made a face which made her laugh. "I'd stay try to avoid being alone with him as much as possible. And then Drea. She's cool, you'll like her."

"Should I be jealous?" She teased.

"Well, she is madly in love with me..." Jess answered.

Rory hit him lightly on the stomach. "Don't mock."

"Fine," he said. "Look, you'll be fine. Just stick close to me, okay?"

Rory pretended to think for a moment. "I guess I can do that."

"Now who's mocking?" He smirked.

"Come on," she said with a smile and took his hand in hers. Jess followed behind as slow as he could.

The door opened to Truncheon and she was surprised to see just how the same it looked. He watched her take it in and then she walked over to the bookshelves, leaving him in the doorway.

Jess walked in, his hands now shoved into his pockets. He noticed Chris in the corner, talking to a customer who had just walked away. Chris looked up when he saw him. "Hey. Didn't expect you here now."

"I kind of got a surprise," he grinned.

"Uh-huh," he nodded. "You're smiling. I'm suspicious."

"Why don't you look over there and see?" Jess nodded towards a direction behind him and he watched as Chris' gaze followed.

He gasped as he noticed the familiar person in front of him. "Is that who I think it is?"

"Yep," Jess smirked.

"You brought her here?" He asked and Jess shook his head. "You mean you didn't tell her to come because of the book?"

"Nope," he shook his head and still had the smirk on his face as he turned to look over at his girlfriend. "She came all on her own."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" He urged. "Come on."

Chris was already on his way to Rory before Jess had even moved his feet. He moved to catch up to his friend and Rory turned at the sound of footsteps. She smiled at Jess when she saw him, not minding the distraction from the books.

Jess went to stand beside her, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her towards him. "Rory, I'd like you to officially meet Chris. Chris, this is Rory."

"Very nice to meet you finally for real," Chris said and reached out his hand which made Jess snicker.

Rory smiled back at him and took his hand. "Nice to meet you, too."

"So you're the woman keeping our Jess on the right side of the tracks," his friend said.

"I guess so," she laughed. "I don't think he's been on the wrong side since high school, though."

"That's right!" Chris exclaimed. "You knew him in high school! I want stories."

"If there's stories, I will deny," Jess said.

She laughed. "But I can tell Chris how you much you bid for my basket."

"Is that some dirty metaphor?" Chris asked.

"It'd exactly what it sounds like," she answered with another laugh.

"All right," Jess said. "Maybe I'll be safer with the customers than over here right now."

He unwrapped his arm from around Rory and kissed her quickly on the lips. She shouted after him, "Bring me something to eat!"

He rolled his eyes as he walked away, a smile on his face. Chris looked over at Rory proudly. "I think he smiled more in the past two minutes than all the years I've known him."

Rory blushed. "Is that a compliment or a comment?"

"Both, I think," he replied.

She nodded. "He makes me smile probably more than I do for him."

"You don't know the impression you make on the guy, do you?" He asked surprised. It wasn't a judgement but an observation. "You make him happy."

"He makes me happy, too," she said back. "Even being here, coming down to his work. I'm happy."

"And you work in New York City?" He asked.

Rory nodded. "The New York Times, actually."

"Holy shit," he gasped. "If I had a drink right now, I'd have spit it out."

"That'd be one way to break the ice," she laughed.

"Sorry," he laughed, too, though. They really did need something to break the ice, he realized.

"Its okay," she waved it off. "Jess actually warned me about you guys anyway."

"Really?" He asked curiously. "And what did he say about me?"

"That you were better than Matt," she answered.

Now Chris laughed. "Sounds about right."

"You know," she said. "Jess never told me how you guys met."

"He met Matt first, actually," he replied. "Though why he'd want to meet any of his friends after that I have no idea."

"Do you have any funny Jess stories?" She asked. "Maybe we can trade off."

"Oh, I have a bunch," he grinned.

...

Jess watched suspiciously as his girlfriend and friend talked together and laughed. He knew they had to be talking about him but he wondered exactly about what. Suddenly, he was very glad she didn't know about the swan.

Matt's voice sounded in his direction and he looked over. His other friend was smiling as he walked over. "So?"

"So what?" Jess asked.

"Did she get it yet?" He sighed impatiently. "Is that why you're here?"

"She got it," he nodded. "And its part of why I'm here."

"Well, what's the other part?" Matt wondered.

"She's here," Jess said.

His mouth opened and closed before responding. "Where?"

"Over there with Chris," he pointed and Matt looked over. Jess watched his friend's head click with remembrance of that open house night. "I want to talk to you first."

"Okay," he shrugged and the two of them walked up the stairs.

Jess stopped walking first once they were in the apartment's kitchen. He turned to face Matt. "I wanna set some rules before I introduce you."

Another shrug. "Okay. What are they?"

"No bringing up Philadelphia," he said first. "I don't want you mentioning what happened or how I reacted, got it?"

"Got it," he replied dryly. "What else?"

"Don't tell her what you told me after you found out we were back together," he pointed his finger at him. "Any mention of how we're gonna break up or how it'll be her fault and we're done."

"Okay," Matt put his hands up in surrender. "Next?"

Jess sighed and looked toward the stairway, as if he could see Rory from where he stood. "No sarcastic comments. No snark. No pre-judging. She's important to me so I don't want to hear you be some kind of asshole."

Matt actually laughed. "You say this like I was planning on being a world class jerk to her."

"Maybe you are," Jess shrugged but had a smirk in place.

"Maybe," he replied back with a look on his own face. "But you also forget I know boundaries."

"So you're not gonna show your dislike of her?" He asked seriously. "You're gonna actually give her a chance?"

"I told you I don't hate her," Matt answered. "Sure, I may have had my own judgment of her but that was before she was standing in my place of work while one of my best friends lectured me on how to treat her."

Jess narrowed his eyes. "So what does that mean exactly?"

"It means I'll be nice," he told him. "I'll talk to her, give her a chance. Maybe I'll even like her."

The teasing tone was back to Jess' voice when he next spoke. "As long as you don't fall in love with her."

"Oh, come on," he laughed. "I'm not gonna take your girl."

"Better not," He laughed too as they walked back down the stairs and into Truncheon books.

Rory and Chris both were nowhere to be seen. Jess had remembered seeing her before he had gone upstairs. Matt looked around too, wondering. "Where'd she go?"

"I don't know," he said as he continued to look. He saw a door open and that door was never open during store hours.

Jess walked straight over to it and Matt followed behind him. The door squeaked slightly as he pushed it open to reveal Chris grabbing Polaroids and handing them to Rory, who sat in a chair.

"Hey," Jess said. "What's going on here?"

"Chris is showing me these pictures he got before his Polaroid officially died," Rory explained.

"Its nothing bad," Chris explained.

Jess didn't believe him and raised and eyebrow. "What pictures?"

Rory held one out towards him. It was of Jess after they had put green hair dye in his gel somehow. He swore under his breath and Matt laughed. "Oh, man. That was hilarious."

Jess grabbed the pictures from Rory and shuffled through them. "What planet do these not qualify as bad?"

"The kind where they're funny," Chris replied.

Rory looked between the two of them. "He was just telling me stories and mentioned he had a few pictures."

"Uh-huh," he nodded.

"She's the one who asked to see them," Chris pointed at her.

Rory gasped. "Only because you never really let me take pictures of you! I wanted to see them."

"I'll let you take pictures later then," he told her.

Matt almost snickered. "Sounds dirty."

Jess elbowed him in the stomach and he shushed. Rory smiled at him. "Promise?"

"Promise," he told her.

"Deal," she nodded and took the pictures out of his hand. "I keep these until I get my own."

"Fine," Jess agreed. "But I burn them after."

"Whoa, whoa whoa," Chris interrupted. "You can't burn our memories."

"Sure I can," Jess shrugged. "Just lit a match and throw it on them."

"No," Matt shook his head. "Rory keeps the pictures now and then we get them back. Otherwise, she can keep them because they're not getting burnt."

Chris nodded in agreement. "That's the deal. Take it or leave it."

While the three of them waited, Jess gritted his teeth. "Fine. Deal."

Rory grinned and held the pictures to her chest. "Mine. For now."

Matt stepped forward and reached out his hand. "And to change subjects, we haven't officially met. I'm Matt."

"Ooh, Matt," she said. "I've heard a lot, a lot about you."

"Define a lot that it needed to be said twice," he replied.

She shook her head. "Just things."

"That doesn't help," he pouted.

"Good," Jess hit him on the back. He turned back to Rory. "What do you think?"

"I want to live here," she decided.

"Its not as nice to live here as you'd think," Chris teased.

Jess laughed. "Been there, done that."

"Well, I like it," she smiled. "Its homey."

"Not the upstairs," Matt laughed. "That part's a mess."

"I've seen upstairs," she commented. "It wasn't that bad."

"Its bad now," Matt corrected then turned again to the only female in the room. "I have a question for you."

Jess glared at him and Rory nodded. "What's that?"

"You read his new novel, correct?" She nodded again. "What did you think?"

She stole a glance at her boyfriend, a smile creeped on her face. "It was amazing. I couldn't put it down. And whenever I had to, I didn't want to."

"What is it about?" Chris asked her.

"Us," she looked at Jess. "Its about us."

Jess smiled back at her. "Its not some cheesy novel, right? I didn't completely throw my reputation out, did I?"

"No," she shook her head once.

"When can we read it?" Matt wondered out loud.

"Soon," Jess told them. "I'll send you it later."

"Do we get it by mail or email?" Chris asked with a smirk of his own.

Jess pointed at him then to Matt. "Quit it or you won't read it at all."

Matt pouted. "Okay. Fine."

Jess nodded proudly and reached out for Rory's hand. "Okay, now I have more books to show my girlfriend so if you don't mind..."

She smiled at the thoughts of books and Jess and they walked out of the room together. Matt and Chris stood there and gave each other looks. "I wonder if that's foreplay for them."

"As long as they don't do anything in the store..." Matt said as they trailed out of the room, too.

...

The phone rang and rang until finally there was an answer. Luke's voice came on the line and it almost made Rory worry. "Hello?"

"Luke?" She asked. "You're answering mom's phone?"

"She's in the bathroom," he told her and she exhaled in relief. "Shouted at me how if its anyone but her mother, to answer it."

"Like you would answer for Grandma willingly," she pointed out.

"Do you want me to tell her a message or wait for her...?" He trailed off. Luke had never been good with small talk.

"If that's okay," she replied.

"That's more than okay," he assured her. "So what's the plan? You're coming for Thanksgiving still, right?"

"Yes, I am," she smiled towards the buildings across the street. "Don't worry. I'm not canceling."

"Good," Luke said. "Your mom would be crushed."

"No crushing," she laughed. "But I do have something to tell her."

"Good news?" He wondered.

"Good," she nodded. "Very good."

Just then she heard her mother on the other end, shouting, "I'm here! I'm here!"

"I guess its my time to go off," Luke said. "Bye, Rory."

"Bye, Luke," she said and he was gone. She heard them switch the phone and her mother called out to her. "Hey, mom."

"So you have news," Lorelai said. "Does this have anything to do with an impromptu trip to Philly?"

"Yes," she smiled again. Rory was finding it hard to atop smiling, actually. "It does."

"Tell me everything," Lorelai gushed. "Well, almost everything. Leave out the mushy parts."

"Remember Jess sent me his novel?" She asked her mother.

Lorelai must have nodded as she answered. "Yes. Yes, I do."

"Well, I finished it yesterday," she continued. "And as I put it back in the envelope, I found this letter. This beautiful paragraphs long letter from Jess."

"And?" Lorelai extended the word at the end.

"And I had to see him," she explained. "The book alone is like a love letter to me. It doesn't specify us or even have our story in it but its us and me and him. He'd never write our actual story but the way he wrote it is us."

"Oh, sweets," Lorelai gushed. "What about the actual letter?"

"The actual letter was personal," she commented and if they had been together, Rory would have squinted her eyes to tell Lorelai she's not going fully into detail. "But he apologized in it. For everything."

"Everything?" She asked.

"Everything," she echoed. "It was the most beautiful thing I ever read."

"And then what happened?" Lorelai questioned. "You got there and talked or did you go right to the dirty stuff?"

"Mom," she blushed, thankful she couldn't see her face. "The latter."

"I knew it!" She laughed. "So was make-up sex better than regular sex?"

"You're really wondering about your daughter's sex life with your husband's nephew?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No, gross," Lorelai shuddered. "Not when you put it like that."

"Well, I'm not telling you anything," Rory said defiantly. "Not about that especially."

"Okay, fine," Lorelai said. "Tell me this at least. Are you happy?"

Rory looked at the window to Truncheon and smiled as she saw Jess through the glass. "Yeah, mom. I'm happy."

"Good," she could hear the smile in her mother's voice as she answered. "I'm happy it worked out for you, hun."

"Me, too," Rory agreed.

...

"What do you wear for drinks with the guts anyway?" Rory asked Jess as she examined the clothes on his bed.

He walked into the bedroom and leaned on the doorway. "If it was just me, I'd say keep wearing that."

"Ha, ha," she stuck her tongue out and he laughed. "No, really. What should I wear?"

He walked further into the room to see her choices. "Not that."

She looked at the red dress he pointed to. "What's wrong with that?"

"Have you seen it?" Jess asked. "You wear that around Matt and he will steal you from me."

"I'd have to want to be stolen," she teased.

"Nonetheless, don't wear that," he said.

Rory tossed the dress into a pillow near the pillows. "Okay, any other opinions?"

"Its just drinks," he shrugged. "Dress casual."

"Okay," she bit her lip then took off her robe. Jess whistled and she blushed as she quickly pulled on jeans and a sweater.

"Yoy know, it you're gonna take your clothes off, you could tell me," he teased. "We could make it fun."

She rolled her eyes and buttoned her jeans at the same time. "I didn't take my clothes off, you perv. You're just standing in the same room as I change."

"Which is taking your clothes off," he finished.

"Which is taking my robe off," Rory corrected with a laugh. "You need to get your mind out of the gutter."

He gave her a 'who, me?' look. "I can't help it if my hot girlfriend in her underwear makes me think in the gutter."

"Well, I hope you got a good look because its the most you're getting for the next few days," she said as she walked out of the bedroom.

"What?" He followed her out.

"Tonight we're going for drinks," she answered. "Which, as much fun as drunken sex sounds, we're going to Stars Hollow tomorrow."

"So?" He shrugged and smirked. "Its not like we never had sex in Stars Hollow before."

"That may be true," she nodded. "But it's a holiday. And we're going to be awake early and I'm helping mom and Sookie..."

"Whoa, wait, hold on," he put a hand out in front of him. "The two Lorelai's are helping with Thanksgiving dinner? God help us all."

"Shut up," she laughed. "No making fun."

"I'm not making fun," Jess defended. "But we should have 911 on speed dial just in case, right?"

"That's making fun," Rory replied in a sing-song like voice.

"Come on, though," he laughed and walked closer to her. "Since when do you and your mom help cook?"

"Since last Thanksgiving," she sighed in his arms once he reached her.

"What happened last Thanksgiving?" Jess asked.

"Nothing," she sighed. "Logan stuff."

He was surprised by that answer. "I thought you were already divorced by then -"

"We were," she explained. "But the papers officially came the day before and Sookie and Mom were trying to cheer me up. It was what they came up with."

"Oh," he said quietly. "I didn't know."

"Its okay," she gave him a small smile. "Its just - it brought up everything. The baby, the accident...I was so stuck in my head and pretending to be okay."

"You don't have to pretend anything," he kissed her forehead. "Not with me."

"Thank you," she sighed. "Really. Its nice, having someone to tell this to."

"I'm glad you told me," Jess said. "I can't even begin to imagine how hard that was but thank you."

Rory closed her eyes and leaned into him. When she finally opened them, she spoke again. "Its the hardest thing I've ever had to say."

"I'm sorry," he said. "That you went through all of it. Any of it. Whichever."

Rory turned in his arms to face him. "I think I'm going to finally tell my mom."

He nodded thoughtfully, knowing this was her decision and her decision alone to make. "When?"

"After Thanksgiving," she admitted. "I don't want to get in the way of the holiday but I think I'm finally ready to do this."

"What brought this on?" He questioned.

"You," she simply replied. "You're the first person I ever told about any of it. I think opening up to you about it and getting it out made me realize that the pain is there whether I talk about it. And my mom deserves to know, you know?"

"Right," Jess agreed and wrapped his arms tighter around her. "I'm proud of you."

"You are?" She gave him a look.

"Yes, silly," he kissed her nose. "You're brave. And I want you to know I'm with you on this, whatever you need."

She smiled at him, not as sad as before. "I love you, Jess."

"I love you, too." This time he kissed her lips lightly and leaned his forehead to hers after he pulled apart.

"We're gonna be late," she whispered.

"So what?" He said.

"Jess," she smiled. "Let's go."

"Its just Matt and Chris," he said as Rory pulled on his hand and he unwrapped himself from her. "They'll understand."

"We're leaving tomorrow," she said. "Humor me."

"Fine," Jess warned. "But when we come back, I at least want second base."

"That can be arranged," she laughed.

He shrugged as if no big deal. "Then you got a deal."

She just laughed again and kissed him again. Then when the kiss ended, Rory led Jess out the door for their last night in Philly before heading to Stars Hollow the next day.


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: Short message, I swear! Lol the story is not done yet. I know happy usually means the story is coming to a close but this one still has some left in it. Like I previously said many chapters ago, I want to get to Lorelai's child being born. As is, she is seven months pregnant and I still have some stuff I want to put in. No more breaking up Literati, I promise.**

 **And I know, I haven't put flashbacks in a while. I'm sorry. The ones I was thinking of doing left are mostly filler but maybe that will change, who knows?**

 **And that was not short after all! Lol. Onto the story!**

Rory grabbed her shoes and slid them on clumsily. Jess watched her in amusement as she leaned one hand on the wall and the other tried to fix her shoe. She looked up and glared at him. "This is your fault, you know."

"I did nothing wrong," he said as best as he could with his smirk in place.

She straightened herself up and took her hand off the wall. "I told you we weren't gonna do anything last night."

"I wasn't the one who started playing footsie at dinner," he defended.

"Footsie is not sex," she replied.

"It is when your hand trails up my leg," Jess still smirked.

She gasped in return. "You shouldn't have let me drink all that wine!"

"You could have been like me and had a beer," he laughed. "Besides I like when you have wine. You get handsy and horny."

"I promised you second base only," she glared. "Now we're late."

"We're not late," he said and walked up to Rory. "And I liked getting the home run far better."

"Pig," she laughed. "And we are late."

"Your mom will understand," Jess said.

"Uh-huh," she said skeptically. "And pigs could fly."

"I always did want to fly," he remarked, commenting on what she said just seconds before.

"Come on," she said. "Help me finish getting dressed."

"Isn't that how we got in this mess?" The smirk was back.

Rory glared again as she walked back into the bedroom. "You are so lucky I love you..."

"What do you even need help getting dressed for?" He asked. "Your shoes are even finally on."

"My top," she looked through a pile on his bed.

"What?" He stood behind her. "You look great. Better than great."

"Its see through," Rory sighed.

"Only a little," he pretended to check it. "Besides, I like I can see what your color your bra is."

"You might but mom won't," she laughed finally. "Or Luke."

Jess grimaced. "Right."

She shuffled through the shirts in the pile before finally settling on a black long sleeved top. "Got it."

"Okay so you put that on and I'll put the last cup of coffee in your mug," he kissed her cheek and began to walk out of the room.

She laughed and then shouted. "You spoil me!"

"Think how much you can spoil me later in return!" He shouted back.

"I already spoiled you last night," she teased as she changed into the top she had chosen.

Jess walked back into the room as she pulled the last stretch of fabric over her stomach. "So? You can spoil me anytime you want."

Rory took the coffee from him and took a sip. "Mmm. You're still a pig."

"You love me so I'll take it," he grinned and kissed her on the mouth. "Damn."

"What?" She questioned.

He licked his lips while he made a face. "How strong did you make that coffee this morning?"

...

Lorelai pouted each time the bell above the diner rang. She happily looked at it each time but also each time, she was disappointed. Rubbing her growing belly seemed to help ease her tension some but she still wondered where her daughter was.

"She's not here yet," Lorelai said into her decaf coffee.

"I know," Luke told her. "You said that ten minutes ago."

"But that just means ten minutes passed and she's still not here!" She shrieked. "What if something happened?"

Her husband stood in front of her and leaned lower as to whisper. "If something happened, we would know."

Lorelai was buying that, though. "If they were so unrecognizable, we wouldn't."

"And why would they be unrecognizable?" Luke asked.

"Car accident," she shook her head to rid of the old memory of a blue car being pulled away. "I don't know."

"Wallets," he simply said. "Both of them have id, you know?"

Lorelai closed one eye and squinted at him. "They forgot their wallets?"

He rolled his eyes, wondering why he was surprised at this. "They're coming. Don't worry about it."

"Right," she nodded. "I think maybe I'll go upstairs, check on Evan and Doula."

"Liz is with them," Luke said.

"I know," she stood up. "But I want to go see my son. That's not so bad, right?"

"Right," he nodded suspiciously. "What are you up to?"

"I want to see my child that is here," she pouted.

"Rory will be here," he told her. "Why don't you call her?"

"I tried," she said, still headed for the stairs but now she held her decaf in its mug. "Went straight to voicemail."

"Go upstairs," he directed. "I'll call you down."

She pouted more but made the last steps to the curtain. "Fine."

Babette turned to Luke as soon as his wife was gone. "Those two kids doing okay?"

He looked up what he was doing. "What are you talking about?"

"You know who," Babette answered.

"Rory and that delicious nephew of yours," Miss Patty said from beside her.

"They're fine, Babette," Luke told them. "They're just running late."

"Uh-huh," Babette said. "But Rory came here without him! And we haven't heard much of them since."

"Are they still together?" Miss Patty asked.

"Yes," he sighed. "They're still together."

"Why didn't he come back with her last time?" Miss Patty inquired.

"Because he didn't," he looked back down to his order sheet for food deliveries.

Babette remarked, "That's vague."

Luke answered without a glance up. "Vague is the best answer I've got."

Miss Patty leaned towards her friend and whispered, "I guess we'll see when she gets here if he's with her."

About a half hour after Lorelai disappeared to the apartment and Luke was questioned, the bell above the diner door rang as both Rory and Jess entered. They held hands and let the door close behind them. Miss Patty and Babette looked at them in amazement that they were here together.

Neither Rory or Jess seemed to notice them, however. Lane walked out of the kitchen in surprise since she had only arrived ten minutes earlier for her shift. Most people would expect her to not work there anymore but Luke's had become a side job to her music now. Her mother had become supportive of her small duel career.

"You're late," she commented to the two of them.

"Sorry," Rory said as she leaned to hug her friend.

Jess hugged Lane next. "My fault."

"I wonder why," Lane grinned.

The blush that came on Rory's face was answer enough. "Where's Luke? Or my mom?"

"Upstairs," she pointed her thumb to the stairs. "Lorelai was panicking a bit about you not being here yet and getting your voicemail. Then Luke was questioned by a certain duo about the status of your relationship so he escaped, too."

Jess looked over to see Babette and Miss Patty staring then turn away fast as if he wouldn't notice. He laughed at the sight. "Same old, same old."

Rory laughed too and kissed him quickly. "I'm gonna go scare my mom."

"I'll order you food," he said.

She smiled brightly at her boyfriend before heading up. "Have I told you how much I love you lately?"

"No," he smirked. "Tell me later."

"Dirty," Lane laughed.

"It was meant to be," Jess sat as he sat down and ignored his girlfriend's shocked expression before she went behind the curtain.

Babette leaned to Miss Patty. "That sounds together to me."

"Very together," Miss Patty almost purred.

"So Rory's usual?" Lane asked.

"What else?" He laughed. "Just a burger for me."

She nodded happily. "Coming right up."

"Jess, darling?" Miss Patty said.

He turned in his seat to face the table. "Yes?"

"How are you, handsome?" Babette answered. "You and Rory doing good?"

"We're great," he resisted the urge to say something sarcastic.

"You look cozy," Babette pointed out.

Miss Patty chimed in excitedly. "Very cozy. New York treating you two well?"

"Actually, we weren't in New York," he nodded as Lane brought him his own coffee. She kept her mouth closed to not comment or laugh.

"Well, where were you?" Miss Patty wondered. "Was Rory alone there like how she came here alone?"

Jess held in a breath, holding in his annoyance of that time being brought up. "No. She was actually in Philadelphia with me."

"Ooh," Babette gushed. "Was it romantic?"

He grinned despite his annoyance which caused Miss Patty to let out a cheer. That led Jess to turn back to Lane who looked ready to burst out laughing.

...

"Where were you?" Lorelai gasped when she saw her daughter enter the apartment.

"Hello, mother," she smiled brightly. "I'm great. How are you?"

"Uh-huh," she waved it off. "Where were you?"

"We woke up late," she answered. "Evan!"

"Rory!" The little boy ran to his older sister and hugged her legs.

In reaction to his excitement, Liz and Doula looked over. They were crouched in the far corner of the apartment over a pile of toys. Liz stood up first. "Rory! How nice to see you."

"Hey, Liz," Rory smiled as she messed her brother's hair. "Doula, how are you?"

"Good," Doula replied with not as much excitement as Evan.

"I have a surprise for you," she said.

Doula stood up and crossed her arms. She was definitely a Danes. "What is it?"

"Why don't you go downstairs and find out?" She teased.

Liz looked berween the two of them and gasped. "Does that mean -?"

Rory nodded and held a finger over her mouth to tell her keep it a secret. "Maybe."

Doula almost rushed to the door in anticipation before Liz held her back. "What do you say to Rory?"

"Thank you?" She wondered and all the women laughed.

Luke walked out from the direction of the bathroom and stopped short when he saw Rory. "You made it."

"I did," she nodded with a huge smile as she walked over to Luke and hugged him.

"You got here all right?" He asked when she pulled apart.

Rory nodded. "Yeah. Was just running late."

"So Jess is -?" He started when a small gasp sounded.

"Jess?" Doula questioned, looking between Luke, her mom then finally to Rory. "Is that the present?"

"I think she cracked the code," Lorelai rubbed her bump.

Rory sighed, caving. "Yes. Now the surprise is out of the bag."

Doula exclaimed happily and ran out of the apartment. Luke rolled his eyes affectionately. "Guess I should head down, too. Can't leave Jess alone with Miss Patty and Babette."

"Though that does sound entertaining," Lorelai mused. "Maybe I'll go see this, too."

"How about we all go?" Liz asked. "I want to see my baby boy."

Rory held in a laugh as she thought of her boyfriend's reaction. "Come on. Let's go, then."

"Rory?" Evan asked from beside her leg. "Are you staying?"

"For a couple of days," she nodded.

"I wish you were always here," he told her and let go.

The four of them went downstairs first as Rory stood there, the last to leave, thinking about his words. Downstairs, Doula sat next to Jess and chatted happily about school.

"Hey!" Jess said as he saw everyone come downstairs. "So this is where everyone was hiding."

"Not me," Lane laughed.

Luke stepped forward. "Nice you came, Jess."

"I said I would," he replied and stood up to give his uncle a hug.

Lorelai stepped next. "He's been preparing for your visit all week."

"Have not," Luke grumbled as his wife laughed and hugged his nephew.

When that hug was done, he turned to his mother. "Hi, Liz."

"Hi, baby," she smiled and hugged him, too. "How are you?"

"Good," he nodded as he inched out of the hug. "Busy."

"Please tell me you were actually busy and not getting busy," Lorelai groaned teasingly.

Rory gave her a look then answered. "Jess wrote another book."

"What?" Liz exclaimed. "You did?!"

"Its not a novel yet," he said.

"But it will be," Rory beamed. "And its amazing."

"You've read it?" Liz asked and rory nodded. "When can I read it?"

"When it's published," Jess smirked.

Doula pulled on his sleeve. "What about me?"

"You're never reading my books," he pointed at her.

"Are they bad?" She questioned.

"Personal," he shrugged.

"Does that mean there's a book about Rory?" Lane asked. "And she made me read them! Which one?"

"The new one," Rory replied.

"Enough about me," Jess interrupted. "Lorelai? Any news?"

"I've gotten bigger," she commented. "Other than that? No."

Luke nudged her lightly. "Two more months."

"Two more months and I can have coffee again," she said dreamily.

"Think you can manage the wait?" Luke teased.

Lorelai looked at him suspiciously. "I know you're making fun of me but I'll pretend you're not."

Someone called Lane's name and she went into the kitchen. When she returned, she held a giant plate of food and placed near Rory. She smiled huge at Jess. "God bless my boyfriend."

...

After dinner that night, Lorelai grilled Rory on what was going to happen after Thanksgiving. She wondered if her daughter was going back to New York with Jess or if he was planning on staying in Philly.

Rory wasn't sure, if she was bring honest, and told her mother so. She had planned to ask Jess about this but he went back to his mother's house with her and Doula. He even offered to deal with TJ just to give the Gilmore women some time alone.

She snuck into the closed diner, locked the door behind her and headed upstairs. The lights were low and she found Jess on his old bed, reading. Rory smiled softly at the sight. "Well, this brings back déjà vu."

He looked up at her and smiled back. "It does bring back some memories."

"Good ones?" She asked as she moved towards him.

"Very good ones," Jess put his hands on both sides of her waist. "Like right over there on the couch, I put my hand up your Chilton skirt."

She hit him lightly on the shoulder. "It figures that's the memory you keep."

"Maybe we can make new memories," he said. "Preferably using the Chilton skirt."

"I do still have it," she commented. "And we did make memories here. Right here, to be exact."

"Want to make another?" He smirked.

She laughed. "Maybe later. I have to ask you something first."

He nodded and dropped his hands. "Okay."

"Its not bad," she explained. "Its just...my mom said something to me after you left."

"Okay," he repeated.

"After Thanksgiving..." She started and bit her lip. "Are you coming back with me? To New York?"

"Oh," he said.

"What kind of oh is that?" Rory asked. "Good, bad? Neutral?"

"It's a I haven't thought about that oh," he admitted.

Her face fell. "You haven't?"

Jess shook his head. "You only came to my apartment, what, two days ago? And after you did, I was a little distracted."

She blushed. "Me, too."

"To be honest, I hadn't thought past the here and now," he confessed. "Because there you were, in my apartment you'd never been before. And we were having this amazing time - fuck, amazing sex, even - and I hadn't really stopped to think."

"Well, what about now?" She shuffles her feet nervously. "What do you think now?"

"I think I'm done being away from you," his fingers trailed her hips to her sides to the skin peeking underneath her shirt.

She closed her eyes as his thumb moved across her skin. Rory would never understand the electric currents the feel of Jess sent through her. "What does that mean? You're coming with me?"

"It means I'm coming with you," he finished. "If you want me to."

"If I want you to!" She laughed and kissed him deeply. "You even have to wonder?"

"Maybe," he smirked when she pulled apart. "Might need some more convincing, though."

"I'll convince you all night then," she smiled seductively at him.

Jess leaned in close. "I was hoping for that."

This kiss was slow and her hands went straight to his hair. His hands pushed her towards him by the waist. Rory pulled away for a second. "Wait. I have something for you."

"I doubt it'll be better than what your interrupting," he replied.

Rory laughed and untangled herself from his arms. "You'll love it. I promise."

He made a pout as she grabbed her suitcase and bounced into the bathroom. Jess laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling as he waited. Minutes later, the bathroom door opened and out walked Rory.

She came towards him slowly, dropping her bag down which caused Jess to turn his head. His jaw almost dropped when he saw her.

The red of her lace matching bra and panties set was the first thing he noticed. Jess sat up quickly, unable to hide just how hard he had gotten at the sight of her. Rory smiled at his reaction. "You like it?"

He nodded slowly, unable to find words. "Yeah."

Rory smiled and spun in a circle. She slowly walked to him, him frozen to his spot. When she did reach him, she put her legs on either side of him, straddling. "Worth the interruption?"

"Very," he nodded as his hands wrapped around her and went straight for her bottom. "Jesus."

"You're thinking of Jesus right now?" She teased.

"That was more a 'Jesus, your ass feels good'," he answered with a squeeze to her bottom.

"Yours isn't so bad, either," she whispered and kissed him.

"Not to stop this," he wondered. "But what happened to not having sex the night before Thanksgiving?"

"You know I packed this and you still believe I really meant nothing was going to happen?" She said playfully.

"Good point," Jess whispered and he kissed her again.

Her hands came up into his hair and messed it all around. He smiled against her mouth. Rory knew she was the only one allowed to do that. Jess wrapped his arms completely around her as he pulled her even closer.

Rory moved her hands from his hair and brought them to his shirt. She unbuttoned each button at a quickening speed. When all the buttons were open, she slid his shirt off his shoulders and traced the muscles of his chest.

A loud groan came from her mouth as their center lined up. He almost hissed and she pulled her lips from his. Rory's hands worked on getting his pants off and she moved off of him to slid them down.

"Now we're even," she grinned as she climbed back on him.

Jess shook his hand. "Not entirely."

She looked at him and understood what he meant. She reached behind her back and unsnapped her bra. The straps fell down her arms as she let go of it.

"Better," he said and kissed her again. Bare skin to bare skin, their chests were against each other. Jess' hands were both in her hair and on her back. Rory's hands were on his upper back, clinging to him.

After a push down, Jess laid on the bed, Rory on top. She kissed up and down his chest, stopping on certain spots she knew would get a reaction. The last of the clothes were shed and they crawled under the covers. Rory stayed on top, taking the lead.

It wasn't long before both gasped loudly, reaching relief at the same time. They panted together only to have Rory collapse on top of his chest. His arm wrapped around her and Jess kissed her sweaty forehead.

They fell asleep peacefully, arms holding them together, sheets pulled up. Sometime during the night, Jess woke up, arm still around Rory and he smiled. He left another kiss on her forehead. "Happy Thanksgiving, Ror."


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Just an apology in advance for Sookie and Michel. I don't think I can capture them well but I'm trying! (Why are these characters too good for my writings? Lol)**

 **I own nothing still. Besides the dvds and the majority of Alexis and Milo's careers on dvd. I also wish I owned the revival already but sadly I don't.**

 **And MILO IS CONFIRMED FOR THE REVIVAL. Send help.**

A loud knocking pounded on the door to the diner apartment. Rory awoke quickly and shook Jess out of his slumber. He made a noise and rolled over, obviously still asleep.

"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore!" Her mother shouted. "This is your wake up call!"

"What the hell?" Jess groaned as he woke up.

Rory got out of the bed and grabbed the first clothes she could find and threw them on. She noticed Jess covered his face with the blanket and heard the soft snore as he fell back asleep.

When she opened the door, Lorelai stood there in comfy clothes - sweatpants and a T-shirt and Rory let out a small laugh. "Aren't we formal today?"

"I wouldn't be talking," she said as she pointed to her daughter.

The youngest Gilmore girl looked down at her T-shirt thrown hastily over a pair of Jess' boxers. "I'm not the one who left their home like this."

"Yes, but you are," Lorelai told her. She laughed when her daughter gave her a stunned look. "Just kidding. Get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs."

"Will do," she nodded and her mother left. Rory turned back into the apartment and sat on the side of the bed Jess currently resided on. "Hey, wake up."

"I don't wanna," he muffled from under the pillow.

"I guess I'll just leave without you," Rory sighed and began to stand up when a hand grabbed her arm.

"Where are you going?" He asked and uncovered his face.

"Its Thanksgiving," she answered.

"And?" He waited.

"I told you me, my mom and Sookie are cooking," she replied.

Jess sat up. "You were serious? You and your mom are cooking? And with Sookie, the master of cooking?"

"Yes," she laughed. "Pay attention."

"You leaving now?" He wondered. "Or do we have time to just be here together?"

"We don't," she smiled regrettably. "Mom is waiting downstairs so I'm gonna take a quick shower and head out."

Jess smirked. "I can help with the shower part."

"No, you can't," Rory laughed and placed a hand on his bare chest. "That will take much longer than a quick shower."

"Fine," he pouted. "I'll just stay here. Come get me when its not 7 am."

"You're gonna stay here?" He nodded. "Naked, in this bed? And if anyone comes?"

"No one will come," he sighed and laid back down.

"Uh-huh," she nodded along. "Like Mom won't send anyone up here just to annoy you? Or send your own mom?"

His eyes widened in horror. "Fine. You win."

She laughed and jumped off the bed. In her hands came everything she wanted to wear for the day out of her bag. He watched her quietly until Rory finally noticed his eyes on her. "What?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. "Just wondering if you wearing my clothes can become a daily thing."

"Maybe when we're back in New York," her eyes sparkled.

"I'm counting on that," he grinned in return.

Rory took as quick as she could in the shower and rushed out. A towel in her hand as she dried her hair and a smile on her face as she saw Jess now wearing pajamas and holding coffee out for her.

"My god, you're perfect," she beamed as she took it from him.

"Say it a little louder," he said. "This town doesn't seem to think so yet."

"Well, that's their problem," she shrugged and drank some of the coffee. "I got to get going."

"When should I stop by?" He asked. "Before or after the firemen leave the premises?"

"Well, I'm going to the inn so if there's a fire, it will be a lot of trouble," she teased back.

Jess pulled her to him by the waist. "One more thing."

"What's that?" She raised her eyebrow.

He didn't answer. Instead, he kissed her deeply. Rory put her hands on his arms and almost as instant as it began, he pulled away. "Just something to think about while you're gone."

"Oh, trust me," Rory grinned. "I have quite the mental images from last night."

He smirked back at her and kissed her quickly. "Go on. Get out of here. I'm gonna go take a shower and I'll see you in a few hours."

"Yes, sir," she laughed and after one more quick kiss, Rory was out the door.

She came down the stairs and moved the curtain. Lorelai sat at the counter with Evan, staring longingly at her husband who held a pot of coffee. She noticed Babette and Miss Patty as well as Taylor with the reverend.

Eyes landed on her and she averted her eyes right to her mother. Lorelai looked up when Rory reached her. "Hey. You finally ready?"

"Don't say that like I took an hour," she teased. "I just had to take a shower."

Lorelai nodded suspiciously. "And a certain nephew of the diner owner didn't slow down getting ready?"

"As a matter of fact," Rory held her head up. "No, he didn't."

"Well, why not?" Miss Patty questioned from her table.

Rory's mouth dropped and she whispered to her mom. "Does she have super hearing?"

"I always hear when an attractive young man is being talked about, sweetheart," she answered.

Lorelai leaned forward and covered her son's ears. It resulted in him squatting her hands. "I'm going with yes."

"Rory?" Taylor asked.

She turned to him right as Luke handed her a coffee. She gave him a grateful smile and he smiled in return then walked away. Lorelai made a small whimper as the coffee left. "Yes?"

"You're really still seeing that young man?" He wondered and she nodded. "Oh, no."

"What is it, Taylor?" Rory asked politely.

"I had hoped Patty got it wrong," he sighed.

"What's wrong with Jess, Taylor?" Lorelai asked as she snapped out of her coffee dreams.

"Something's wrong with Jess?" Evan asked curiously of his cousin.

"Oh, where to begin," he replied when no one answered the child.

Rory shook her head. "You still think of him as that teenager he was, don't you?"

"He left quite the lasting impression," he said. "And that was the longest space of time I'd known him. He's done nothing to change the impression."

"Because he's been busy changing himself," Rory told him. "He's not some stupid kid anymore."

"That's for damn sure!" Babette nodded.

Lorelai rolled her eyes and moved to cover Evan's ears again with the same result. "And on the note of the two gossips joking in..."

"No," Rory shook her head and put her coffee down. "I have to say something."

"What's that, dear?" Miss Patty asked.

"Jess is a good guy," she started. "Yes, he made mistakes and pulled some stupid stuff back in high school. But its not who he is now."

Luke and everyone else, not only the three of them at the table paid attention. Lorelai waited and Luke handed her a cup of the decaf. She took it and made a face then proceeded to drink it.

Rory continued on. "The way I see it, if me and him can move on from the past, so should all of you. Its not like he never comes here. He did all through the years. Just accept that he's here and he's different already."

She turned to her mom who clapped. Babette joined in. "Wow."

"Now we can go," Rory told her mom and grabbed her coffee.

Taylor finally recovered from her speech. "Now, wait a moment, young lady -"

"It's a holiday," she said. "If you'd like to say something that doesn't have to do with bringing down my boyfriend, it can wait for another day."

She walked out of the diner without a second glance as Taylor sat there stunned. Lorelai stood up and grabbed her decaf and her son's hand with a smug smile. "That's my girl."

...

"There's my Rory!" Sookie crushed the young woman in question to her.

"Sookie!" Rory hugged her back just as excited. "Happy thanksgiving!"

"This is my favorite holiday!" Sookie gushed as she moved to hug Lorelai and then Evan. "We are gonna masterpiece that turkey!"

"No deep frying?" Lorelai teased, remembering a thanksgiving many years ago.

Evan looked between them. "What's deep frying, mom?"

"Something Sookie does not approve of," Rory laughed.

"Thankfully no," her best friend laughed and answered the question. "Though that patch on the lawn has finally recovered after all this time."

Rory now giggled at the memory. "What happened to his deep fryer?"

"I may have...thrown it out," Sookie said slowly.

"What?" Lorelai gasped in surprise. "Jackson loved that thing!"

"I told him it was what he had to do for me since he didn't get the vasectomy," she defended.

"How sneaky," Rory remarked.

"Speaking of vasectomies," Lorelai said and everyone turned to her, especially Evan. "Where are the kids?"

"Davey is shadowing Michel," Sookie counted off on her fingers. "Martha is in the sitting area over there. And Allie is with..."

Lorelai and Rory both noticed her hesitation. The older Gilmore wondered first. "With who?"

"You're gonna find out anyway," Sookie replied.

Rory spoke next now. "Find out what?"

Sookie led them towards the fireplace where four figures sat. Allie sat on the floor with a little boy. He looked about seven years old. Then Rory's eyes fluttered to the people in the chairs.

"What's he doing here?" Rory asked in a low voice.

"Visiting his family," Sookie explained. "He's staying here with his wife."

Lorelai crammed to see but had difficulty because Rory and Sookie were in front. "He's married again?"

Rory paled as she looked at the sight before her. She turned around quickly and walked right away. Lorelai followed and Sookie trailed behind her.

"What is it?" Lorelai asked. "Is it too weird that he's here?"

"No," she shook her head. "He has every right to be here and visit his family. Especially on a holiday of all days."

"Then what?" Sookie wondered out loud.

She sighed. "Me and Jess just got good again. Really good. Better than good."

"And?" Lorelai waited. "This is gonna mess it up?"

"No, I hope not," she paled even more if it was possible. "But it might make this day weird."

"Hon, it's not like he'll be here at dinner," Lorelai explained. "Just tell Jess and tell him they're not gonna run intp each other. Which hopefully means no one's fist runs into the other's face."

"That won't happen," she shook her head. "Will it?"

"Tell him before he sees him is my only advice," Sookie added.

Rory's face clicked with remembrance of telling someone about something. "I actually have something to tell both of you, to everyone, actually."

Lorelai's eyes widened. "In connection to -?"

"No," she shook her head. "Not at all."

"Well, let's hear it," Sookie urged.

"Dinner," Rory replied.

They nodded in agreement and Sookie whisked Rory away into the kitchen. Evan looked up at his mother, curious about the person they'd seen with allie that made Rory turn so pale. "Mommy, who was that?"

Lorelai smiled slightly at her son and patted it hair. "That, baby, was Dean."

...

"Finally," Luke groaned. "I've been waiting for you."

"Had to do my hair," he mocked his earlier days as he stepped from behind the curtain.

He rolled his eyes at his nephew. "Your mom's gonna be coming."

"Then maybe I still need to fix it," he turned to go back upstairs.

"No, you don't," Luke said. "Rory told me to make sure you don't back out of dealing with your mom and her grandmother in the same room."

"I'm not," Jess shrugged. "I'm delaying."

"How come you can deal with Jimmy but not Liz?" Luke asked him.

Jess' face turned serious. "I don't know. Maybe because Jimmy left. Because I'll never known what he would have done this time or that time where I know exactly how Liz handled everything."

Luke nodded. He understood probably as much as Jess how Liz was before TJ. "So you're coming now?"

"Soon," he nodded then added when his uncle gave him a look. "Promise."

"Okay," the older man said. "Make sure you're at the inn later though. Rory may forgive you if you run in the other direction of Emily Gilmore but I won't."

Jess smirked. "You mean you don't want to do the same thing?"

He was answered by a smirk in return before Luke headed into the diner's kitchen. Jess ran his left hand through his hair and sighed. He looked around the diner at the small amount of patrons left. He didn't recognize the faces but he was glad for that.

Jess went back upstairs and grabbed a book. He stuffed it into his back pocket like he used to and went back into the diner and out the door. Headed for the direction if the bridge, he froze mid-walk. He saw someone he didn't expect to see at all and had hoped never to again.

Dean walked with a woman by his side. She had reddish-brown hair and was tall enough that he didn't look so giant. Jess shokt his head in disbelief as he watched them walk, hands clasped together, further and further away.

His first thoughts were about what the hell Dean was doing here. Then he realized, it was a holiday and maybe his family had still been here. Jess remembered briefly the little girl who had annoyed him at the winter carnival.

Once they were out of his line of vision, he changed directions from the bridge. Instead, Jess climbed into his car and drove down to the inn. His second thought had been wondering if Rory knew.

...

Rory laughed as her mother made faces while she stuffed the turkey. Sookie had instructed them on what to do as she made a quick run for more supplies. Lorelai, however, didn't like that she had any kind of turkey duty.

"That's not what you do!" Rory laughed and went to stand beside her mother. "Here."

"You're gonna do better?" Lorelai questioned.

"Anything is better than that," she laughed still and Lorelai pouted.

"Fine," she said and sat down. "Not because I believe you because I'm seven months pregnant and sitting down sounds really nice right now."

"Upside, see?" Rory grinned as she stuck her hand in the stuffing.

Just as she got her hands covered, Michel entered the room. His face looked bored as he informed them Rory had a visitor.

"Who?" She asked.

"That author hoodlum boyfriend," Michel answered. "He insisted he see you right away even when I told him you were busy."

"Jess is here?" Lorelai asked then snickered. "How romantic!"

"Shush," Rory laughed at her mom's childishness. She wiped her hands on her apron. "Where is he?"

"Standing by my desk and probably messing everything up," he replied. "Please come take him away."

"On my way," she nodded and took the apron off.

Michel followed Rory out of the kicten and Lorelai pouted as she looked st the turkey. "Guess it's just and me."

Somehow, Michel had gotten in front of Rory as they walked. He spotted Jess first. "I found her. Now can you please move away from my desk?"

"Yes, sir," Jess saluted.

Rory smiled when she saw him then froze. "Whoa."

"What?" He asked.

"Your beard -" she started. Lately, Jess had been sporting some kind of scruff. It wasn't a full out beard but it was enough she felt it scratch when her skin was near him.

"I know," he nodded.

"You shaved," she pointed out.

Jess smirked at her. "I knew that, too."

"Why?" She asked. Rory had liked the scruff on him. She thought it gave him an older look, sexier.

He shrugged. "Figured it was a holiday. I'd clean up a little."

"Well, you do clean up pretty good," she smirked. "Clean down good, too."

"Is that a innuendo?" He smirked back. "Because I gotta say, so do you."

She blushed red and walked closer to him. "What are you doing here? Came to see the firemen come?"

"Wanted to see if any of them were checking out my hot girlfriend," he said which resulted in a hit on the arm.

"You have another girlfriend?" She teased, always modest about her looks.

"Come here," he smirked and kissed her sweetly. She leaned her forehead to his and smiled. Jess took a deep breath and pulled himself apart. "I came here to tell you something."

"Oh," her face fell seeing the look on his face. "Something bad?"

"Something...not good," he sighed. "Dean's here."

Rory's eyes widened and Jess thought it was because she didn't know. She felt herself worry because of their recent history and thought of how Jess had actually seen Dean and he didn't seem to have been in a fight. She decided it was best to be honest. "I know."

"You know?" He questioned. There was no accusation in his tone, just wonder.

Rory nodded. "He's staying here apparently. Sookie told me this morning."

"And?"

"And what?"

"How do you feel about that?" He found himself asking.

"How do I feel?" She wondered. "I don't know. Fine, I guess. She said he's here to see his family. Which he has every right to do."

"And there's..." He started then restarted. "There's no..."

"No what?" She asked.

Jess sighed. "No feelings."

"No," she said in her most serious voice. "There are absolutely no feelings."

Jess nodded quietly. "He was with someone."

"Sookie said he got married," she replied. "Has a kid, too."

"Oh?" His eyebrow rose up. "Bag boy has a kid?"

She laughed. "Yes. And you really are reverting to that nickname again?"

"I think I'm entitled to once in a while high school Jess," he teased and put his arms around her waist.

"As long as its the mature parts, I see," she teased back and kissed him lightly.

Both of them were glad they could now laugh at the high school days of their relationship. It used to be awkward or painful but since they'd talked about it and that letter he'd written, it was like they were finally able to officially move on.

Lorelai appeared around the corner, Michel on her heels. "I think I did something wrong."

Jess laughed, as if he predicted this. Rory turned in his arms so his hands were now wrapped around her from behind. "Oh boy."

"Sookie called and said she will be here soon," Michel informed them.

"Oh, thank god," Lorelai sighed.

"I guess I better get back in there," Rory said.

Jess let his arms go loose and she kissed him quick. "See you later?"

"Of course," he smiled at her. "And we're okay? Its not...weird, what I told you?"

Rory sighed thoughtfully. "No. I mean, yes. It could be weird if we interact. But so far, now, its not. And we're definitely okay."

"Good," he gave her hand a squeeze and she followed her mom back into the kitchen. Jess was left alone with Michel in the lobby.

"What was that about?" Lorelai asked her daughter.

"Jess saw Dean," Rory admitted. "And...he was surprisingly calm about it. Just wanted me to know."

"Oh," she was stunned. "I didn't expect that."

A laugh from the younger Gilmore. "Me, either."

"Guess that finalizes the nail in the Jess-grew-up coffin, huh?" Lorelai said and Rory stopped walking. She thought to herself how it really does and smiled as she began to walk again. "Hey, do you think Luke would mind bringing Paul Anka over to dinner?"

...

They followed their pattern from thanksgiving long ago, it felt like. First they had a special lunch at Luke's while Sookie stayed at the inn. Lorelai, Rory and Evan walked in. Jess was behind the counter with a pencil behind his ear.

Rory smiled and let go of her brother's hand as she sat at the stool in front of the counter. "Who do I have to sleep with to get some coffee around here?"

"I don't know," he smirked when he looked up from the book in his hand. "Why don't you start with me and I'll see what I can do?"

"Could you two be any grosser?" Lorelai asked as she went to a free table and sat Evan down. Rory stuck her tongue out at her mom. "Mature."

"Mommy," Evan pulled on her sleeve. "Tell daddy I want cake."

Luke heard that and came over to them. "You're raising him just like you."

"I can't help it if he wants cake," she gasped.

"Next he's gonna ask for coffee," Luke replied.

Rory turned to her mother and stepfather. "Actually, he did that already this morning."

Lorelai giggled and Luke rolled his eyes. "One piece of cake."

"Yes!" Evan cheered happily.

Jess smiled at his cousin and Rory noticed the smile. "I like that."

"What?" He asked curiously.

She pointed to his mouth. "That smile. Its sweet."

"I smile around you," he said.

"Yes, but this is a different smile," she remarked. "An Evan smile. A smile for kids."

"I do like Evan," he reminded her.

"I know," she said. "But this is different. Do you...Oh my god, Jess. Do you like kids?"

"No," he replied too fast. Maybe I don't hate them. Some of them. Lane's kids, Evan. Kids like them."

"Uh-huh," she nodded. "You like kids."

"Yeah, well, I'll make up for liking them when I have to punish ours," he said.

Both of them froze as he registered what he had just said. Jess tried to think of a way to take it back or explain himself but he came up blank. Rory didn't know what to say either. Neither spoke until Luke came back from the front with Evan's cake and Lorelai's decaf.

"What is that?" He pointed to his wife's hand beneath the table.

She pulled her hand from underneath. "Flowers."

"Why did you bring flowers?" He asked.

"I always bring flowers," she defended.

Luke sighed. "I still don't have a vase."

"I gave you a vase tears ago," she replied.

"A vase that broke," Luke said back. "Remember?"

"Oh, yeah," she said. "But its tradition."

"We're married now," he said.

"Yes?" She waited for wherever he was going with this.

Luke realized she wouldn't catch it. "I'm not just a person you stop by to see on a holiday anymore. You don't have to bring my flowers."

"But I want to," she pouted.

"Just let her give you the flowers," Jesse said as he watched them. Luke took the flowers from his wife and Lorelai grinned in triumph.

...

Next to everyone had arrived for dinner. Emily had come shortly after the diner lunch, along with Paris, Doyle and their kids. Lane, Zach, Mrs Kim, the twins and Christina were there. Brian and Kyon as well as Gil and his family was there. Liz, TJ, and Doula were among the early guests.

The dinner had actually not turned out bad, despite what people may have thought. At one point, Jess pretended to choke and Rory hit him hard on his arm after that. She'd seen a shadow of wonder on her grandmother's face and remembered she hadn't told her they were officially back together.

To everyone's surprise, Emily had offered to say grace. She blessed everyone at the table, lorelai's unborn child and commented how Richard would have loved to be here. Lorelai and Rory both teared up at that part and they moved on quickly to prevent breakdowns on all of their parts.

After dinner, Rory roamed around the inn and looked at the walls. There was a picture on the wall of her mom, Sookie and Michel with shovels. It looked like not too long before the Dragonfly opened and she smiled.

"Hey," a voice said behind her.

She turned to the sound and came face to face with Dean. "Hi."

"I didn't think I'd see you here," he shuffled. "If I'd known, I'd have stayed somewhere else. Make it easier."

"Theres nothing to make easier," she replied. "We can be friendly, right? It doesn't need to be bitter ex's."

"Right," he chuckled. "Did you meet Claire?"

"Claire?" It clicked in her head. "Oh, your wife."

"Yeah," he nodded. "And Matthew."

"No, I didn't meet them," she said softly. "Maybe later."

"We're gonna be here a few days," Dean told her. "What about you? Aren't you here with Jess?"

Rory smiled despite herself. "Yeah, I am."

"I'm glad things...I'm glad they worked out for you," he told her. "For both of you. Really."

"You are?" She asked and he laughed. "Thanks. I'm glad they did for you, too."

"Thanks," he said back. "I should actually go back. Claire asked me to bring her water."

She waved him off. "Yeah. Go ahead."

"Bye, Rory," he said as he began to walk off.

"Bye, Dean," she told his retreating figure.

She heard another pair of footsteps behind her and Rory turned to see Jess there. "How much did you hear?"

"I think I passed out because I could have sworn I heard him say he was happy for us," Jess answered.

"If you did, I did," she laughed a little.

"Not weird?" He asked and she shook her head. "Good. I promise I won't rip his head off, either."

"Good," she repeated his word. "Wouldn't want you getting in trouble."

"Trouble's my middle name," he explained.

She squinted her eyes suspiciously at him. "I thought it was William."

"I have two middle names," he then replied which made Rory laugh for sure.

"Hey, Jess?"

"Yeah?"

She walked closer to him and hugged him to her. "I'm ready to go home now."

 **A/N: in case you're wondering why I brought Dean in, its because they felt like they needed an ending where they were happy for each other. Not Dean pining over her still and both moved on and happy. I also promised no more lit drama so I'm not doing a dramatic triangle thing of them ha.**

 **The ending seems rushed but I really wanted to get this up and I figured it might be better to just tell you who was at dinner than really write everyone eating dinner and making small talk. I hope you still like it though and thank so much for sticking with me!**


	47. Chapter 47

Rory held onto Jess' hand as they walked back into the dining area of the inn after seeing Dean. Lorelai gave her a look of wonder and her daughter just nodded at her. They stood nearby everyone while they chatted and talked amongst themselves.

Sookie clapped and everyone turned to her. "Wait! Rory, didn't you have news to tell us?"

"That's right," Lorelai pointed. "You said at dinner."

Rory nodded nervously. She had never liked being the center of attention. "I do have news."

Lorelai used the finger that had been pointed at her daughter and flicked it back and forth between Rory and Jess. "Is this a you two thing or -?"

"No marriage," Rory laughed.

Jess added, "No pregnancy, either."

Lorelai sighed in relief. "Thank God. I couldn't handle it if my youngest and my genadchild were close in age."

"Its none of that," Rory confirmed. "Its actually just a me thing."

Luke walked over to his wife. "Good thing?"

"Very good," Jess nodded and nudged her.

"I have been promoted to New York Times editor," Rory proudly said to everyone.

"Oh my god!" Lorelai gasped and moved to hug her daughter. "That's amazing!"

"I know," Rory hugged her back. "They asked me earlier than this but I actually finally took the job."

"What took so long?" Luke asked as he moved to hug her. He knew as well as anyone what that job would mean to her.

When the hug was finished, she shook her head and answered. "I actually made a pro-con list. This is probably more work. I'll be checking everyone's articles and placing it is harder than it looks."

"You'll do amazing," Jess told her with a smile.

She smiled back at him and it almost felt like they were the only two people in the room. "Thank you."

"This is a cause for more celebration," Sookie said as each person took their turns hugging Rory and wishing her congratulations.

"I'll get champagne," Lane said as she walked to the kitchen with her husband on her heels.

"I'll get the glasses, " Zach said.

"We don't have to celebrate," Rory told them.

"Of course we do," Luke told her.

Jess nodded in agreement and hugged Rory to him by the waist once everyone was done coming up to her. "Let us celebrate you for once, okay?"

"Fine," she replied and he kissed her cheek.

Lane and Zach soon returned with the champagne and glasses. Every adult held their glass up high as they toasted to the holiday and to Rory. Jess laughed when he saw her expression and squeezed her hand comfortly.

...

Rory sat up in Jess' bed, the sheets up to her waist, wearing his old Metallica shirt. He laughed when she found it and had suggested wearing it. He wasn't even sure why he kept it. Maybe it was the memories, maybe he just still thought it brought out his eyes.

She looked down at Jess who laid beside her and was half-asleep. He had looked so peaceful like that so she was almost afraid to bother him. Rory put her hands through his hair, feeling it slide against her fingers.

"I like your hair like this better," she commented.

His eyes opened and he turned to her. "Hmm?"

"Your hair," she repeated. "I like it like this compared to how it was in high school."

"Oh, that," he laughed.

"Yes, that," she smiled and kept her fingers in his hair. "All that gel and product. You were a regular Jesse Katsopolis."

"I didn't talk to my hair in the morning," he remarked.

"Oh?" She smiled teasingly. "I could have sworn I saw a morning pep talk."

"You're imagining things," he told her.

"Like what you said earlier?" She asked. "In the diner."

Jess sighed and briefly closed his eyes. He knew exactly what she was talking about without asking. "It just came out."

She nodded. "So its not..its not something you've thought about?"

"Honestly?" Jess blew out a breath. "I don't know."

Rory made a confused face. "You don't know if you've thought about a family?"

"I don't know if I thought of a family with you," he corrected.

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better," she replied sarcastically.

"You know I don't mean it like that," he explained and sat up too. "You and me...I didn't actually expect us to have a future."

"Gee, thanks," she moved her hand away from this hair and crossed her arms.

"You mean you thought we did?" He questioned. "After I left or what happened at your dorm? Better yet, when you married Logan, you thought we had a future?"

"Fine, you have a point," Rory sighed. "But still. When we were together, you planned on being with me. Twenty two point eight miles."

He chuckled. "I wasn't exactly thinking of having kids when I was eighteen."

She chuckled this time. "I guess I wasn't, either."

Jess turned himself in the sheets. "I got an idea. We talk about this tomorrow, I promise. But now, we sleep."

"No," she pouted. "If we don't talk about it now, you're gonna find some way out of it."

"There's nothing to talk about," he said and leaned off of the headboard. "It was a slip."

"Jess," she said. "When you said that, it got me thinking."

"About what?" He asked.

"Us," Rory his her eyes as she answered. "I mean, I know I want kids. I've known it since I found out I was pregnant all those years ago."

"And?" He waited.

"And I love you," she finally looked up and gave him a small smile. "I love you more than I thought was possible. And maybe, someday...it'd be nice, in my opinion, at least..."

Jess smirked at her. "Are you telling me you would want to have kids with me?"

"Only if you would want to," Rory backtracked. "Because if you don't, then this is horribly embarrassing."

He shrugged, keeping a pretense of not caring. "I guess, if you wanted it..."

"You're really saying this?" She asked seriously. "You really would want a family with me?"

"Ror, do you remember what I told you that stupid night in your dorm room?" He asked and she nodded. "I told you I knew we were supposed to be together. And now that I have you again, I'd want the whole package. Maybe not a white picket fence because we live in New York but..."

He was interrupted by his girlfriend's lips on his. Jess instantly reacted, his hands coming towards her face. They cupped her cheeks and she crawled out of her space on the bed to move closer to him.

When she pulled away first, Rory's hands were on both aides of Jess' face as his hands moved to her back. "You mean that? I'm not being crazy or bringing this up way too early or just pushing you -"

"No," Jess smiled softly at her. "Well, I mean, yes, you're crazy but I don't think anything can technically be too early for us."

The smile spread widely on Rory's face. "Really?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm not saying, right this second. But yeah, in the future, down the road...it could be nice."

She kissed him again. This time was sweeter, more delicate. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he smiled.

"Okay," she said and snuggled back down to the pillow. "Now you can sleep."

"Not so fast," Jess said and she looked up at him. "You didn't want me to sleep so I suggest you make this worth my while."

She laughed. "You mean planning our future isn't worth it?"

"It will be," he said. "In the future. Now, I have another suggestion."

Rory raised her eyebrow at him but didn't move otherwise. "What's that?"

"We practice on practicing," he answered simply.

"I'm going to sleep," she told him. "We can practice on practicing tomorrow."

He pouted sadly. "That's not fair."

She mimicked his sad face. "It's what's happening."

"Fine," he scooted down to his own pillow again. "But I won't be happy about it."

Rory laughed and kissed his cheek. "I wouldn't expect any differently."

They laid back down, her back to his chest. Jess wrapped his arms around her small frame, pulling her towards him. She sighed deeply as she put her own arms over his and caressed his hands.

"Jess?" She whispered.

His breath moved on her neck as he replied. "Yeah?"

"I'm really glad we're back together," she said. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he replied. "More than just that month."

Her voice was even lower when she spoke again. She was almost on the verge of tears. "Me, too."

Jess kissed her shoulder through the T-shirt and wrapped his arms a little tighter around her. Rory closed her eyes and smiled before finally reaching slumber.

...

The next morning, Jess packed what they had of their stuff away while Rory went to go see her mom. Before she left, she told him what she had planned to do. He let her do her own thing, understanding when she said she needed to do it alone.

"Rory!" Lorelai said happily when her daughter was at the door. "I thought I was coming to Luke's to say goodbye."

"This isn't goodbye," Rory shook her head. "I have to tell you something."

"Okay," Lorelai said slowly. "You seem serious. Is it serious?"

"Very," Rory nodded and looked toward her old room. "Where's Evan?"

"With Luke and surprisingly his grandmother," she answered.

"Okay, good," she said to herself.

"Rory?" Lorelai watched her carefully. "What's going on? Are you okay, hun? Maybe you shouldn't leave today if you're not okay."

"I'm okay," she told her mother.

She didn't buy it. "Did you and Jess fight again? You seemed happy last night at dinner."

"We didn't fight," she shook her head.

Lorelai's shoulders sagged in confusion. "Well, what then?"

"You should sit," Rory instructed and Lorelai did as she was told. "Do you remember that car accident me and Logan got into a few years back?"

"The one after that party," Lorelai nodded, still confused as to why she was bringing that up. "I raced to the hospital and you were tired and didn't want company."

"There was a reason I didn't want company," Rory looked down at the ground and held onto the chair in front of her. She wasn't even sure how she was still standing but she knew if she sat, she'd have to look in her mother's eyes.

The older Gilmore waited. "Was it me?"

"Not entirely," she replied. "I don't know how to - I don't know if I can do this."

"Do what?" Lorelai asked. "I'm sorry, honey, bit I'm really confused right now. You're telling me about a car accident from years ago with your ex-husband."

Rory sighed, trying to remember the courage she mustered to tell Jess. Her fingers gripped the chair harder. Why was this harder than telling Jess? It was still saying the words out loud. The words she had only said to two people - Logan and her doctor.

The conversation last night replayed in her mind. Jess admitted he would want a family with her and it brought back how her and Logan never actually talked about a family until she discovered she was pregnant. Rory took a deep breath and slowly got the words out.

"The night of the accident, I was pregnant," she said and watched Lorelai's face change. It went from surprise to shock to horror then finally to sadness. "I was only a couple of months along when I lost it."

Lorelai's voice was very quiet when she talked. "Was - was the accident how -?"

"Yes," Rory said.

"Um," Lorelai was speechless. If it had been any other time, she'd have made a joke about it. "You were pregnant?"

A nod. "Yes."

Lorelai sat there as she processed. Her daughter watched her in silence, still behind the chair and holding on. "Say something."

"Hold on," she said then slower in a low voice. "You lost the baby because of the accident."

"Logan had been drinking that night," Rory shuffled her feet. "And we were sort of arguing a little in the car."

"So if he hadn't been drinking..." She trailed off, afraid to say what her daughter had obviously been thinking.

"Probably not, no," she finished.

Lorelai nodded slowly. Her expression was off in a distance and she looked over at her daughter. The expression on her face was unreadable but readable at the same time. She saw the pain at remembering that night written all over it.

When Rory finally noticed her mom look up at her, she broke. Tears spilled and she started to tell her everything. How Logan told her they would put off talk about kids so he could get the business started and finding out she was late.

She told Lorelai about going to see her doctor and waiting in that room. Then about when she received the phone call that told her she was pregnant and how she'd wanted to tell her mother but Logan wanted them to wait.

Words flowed out and continued as Rory explained the night of the accident, they'd made the decision to tell her mother about the baby. She told her about how after the accident, Logan seemed as upset as she had been and made a promise to not drink anymore.

Each time he drank, she was explaining, she'd remember laying in that bed, in the hospital gown as her doctor came in and explained to her her baby was gone. The small, tiny defenseless baby she'd gotten used to having with her in that short time was gone.

Rory recalled crying in the bed so much that her doctor left her and she didn't stop crying. She explained touching her stomach and that just flowed the tears more. Eventually, her doctor had come back, telling her that the accident and the miscarriage wouldn't affect her chances of getting pregnant again.

She explained the state of mind she was in when Lorelai had walked in the door. Rory had been numb, at best. She told her how Logan started drinking again and he tried to pretend he didn't. She smelled it all over him when he came home or she did laundry. He wasn't hiding it as well as he'd thought.

By the time she had said all she could, Rory was all cried out. Lorelai had begun crying around the parts about the doctor in the story. Paul Anka had joined them and kissed both of them as much as he could. Then she hugged her daughter tightly as they both cried and mourned one's child and the other's grandchild.

...

Evan dug into his ice cream sundae he'd gotten from Taylor's soda shoppe happily. His legs swung from the stool and Jess smiled at his little cousin. He seemed so happy.

Luke strolled up to his son and nephew. "Where's Lorelai and Rory? I thought they were coming."

"They'll be here," Jess answered.

"What time are the two of you leaving?" Emily asked from the other side of Evan. How they'd managed to get her on a stool, none of them knew.

"In a few hours," Jess checked his watch. They'd have to leave later than planned if she was gone much longer. He knew what she was doing though so he didn't exactly blame her either.

"They should get here on time," Emily continued. "Doesn't Lorelai understand that?"

"With all due respect," Jess said. "Maybe they actually a reason for not being here."

"And what would that reason be?" She waited. "There's something more important than being with your family?"

"Its not my thing to say," he said. "And they are with family. They just need a little time."

"Is everything okay?" Luke asked.

Jess shook his head but not as no, instead to shake off questions. "Everything's fine."

Emily huffed. "Am I not family enough for their moment then?"

"You'll find out when they tell you," he said.

She gasped in surprise. "Well, I never!"

"What's wrong with mommy?" Evan asked.

"Nothings wrong with your mom," Luke told him. "She's gonna be here soon with Rory and you can see her."

"Can I go see Doula?" He asked once his ice cream got lower.

He looked around for someone to take him and he sighed when no one was there and he needed to watch the diner. Jess got off of his stool. "I'll take him."

"You sure?" Luke asked. "They could be here any second."

"Its fine," Jess waved it off. He wanted Rory take as much time as she needed and he wanted to get out from under Emily Gilmore's watchful eye.

"Okay," Luke said and Jess grabbed Evan's jacket in one hand and his cousin's hand in the other.

"I'll be back," Jess said as he opened the door.

Emily turned to her son-in-law with a look of distaste. "Has he not learned manners yet?"

"He's learned them," Luke replied. "Something's going on, though."

"Something like what?" She asked curiously. "Is everything all right with my daughter and my granddaughter?"

"I think they're fine," Luke said then corrected. "They're probably better than fine. I just have this feeling something's going on Jess knows about but won't tell me."

She probably would have rolled her eyes right then if she hadn't started to pick up his worry. "Can't yoy just ask him?"

"You can't just ask Jess anything," he commented. "Maybe I'm worrying for nothing."

"I sure hope so," she said. "Otherwise, they have quite the explaining to do."

...

Jess tapped on the door and within seconds of the light second, the door opened. TJ stood there grinning ear to ear. "Liz! You got company!"

"What if I came to see you, TJ?" Jess asked politely.

He laughed. "Are you?"

"Nope," Jess smirked. "I'm actually here for this guy."

"Hey, Evan!" TJ crouched down to his height level and smiled brightly.

"Daddy says you're a doody face," Evan replied which made TJ frown and Jess hold his lips in a tight line to not boil over with laughter.

Liz came to the door excitedly and looked between her husband, son, and nephew. "What's going on?"

Jess pulled Evan forward with his hand. "This guy wants to see Doula."

"Oh, great!" She clapped. "Doula is in need of some cheering up today. She's sad that you'll be leaving again soon."

"Well, maybe I can see her for a little bit, too," he smiled at his mom.

The married couple moved aside and let Jess and Evan in. Liz put her hand on Jess' arm and stopped him for a hug. "Its really good to see you, baby."

"Yeah, you too, Liz," he said.

Doula walked into the room and saw the two guests. She smiled happily and ran up to Jess and hugged his legs. "You came!"

"For a little bit," he patted her hair. "Evan wanted to come over."

"Cool!" She let go of him. "Come on, dad bought me drums."

She ran back to the living room with Evans on her heels and Liz smiled at them. Jess gave her a questioning look. "Drums?"

"She wanted them!" TJ exclaimed. "How could I say no?"

"He has a hard time telling her no," Liz pointed out in the general.

Jess nodded. "This should be entertaining."

It was ten minutes later that there was a knock on the door. Liz went to open it while Jess sat perched on the couch with Evan. Doula slammed loudly on the drums and he hoped he wouldn't lose his ears over this. TJ had left to pick up some breakfast at Liz's suggestion.

"Rory!" Liz said happily once the door was opened. Jess turned his head at her name.

"Hey, Liz," she said. "Luke told me Jess and my brother are here so I wanted to stop by."

"Oh, that's fantastic!" She exclaimed. "I get to see both of you before you head off to New York!"

The two of them walked in the living room and Doula stopped drumming. She stared at the girl who had just arrived. It wasn't a mean stare but instead it looked like a sad one.

"Does Jess have to leave now?" Doula asked quietly.

"No, not yet," Jess informed her.

Rory took off her coat and sat down on the couch. She lifted Evan up and sat him on her lap. "I'm too old for laps!"

"Never," she smiled and kissed his head which made the little boy groan. She turned to the little girl in the room. "I'm just here for a visit."

"Why not visit your mom?" She asked. "Or Lane? You have all the time in the world and I don't."

Jess sighed and leaned forward. "Doula."

"I just want time with my brother," she admitted.

"I can go," Rory said.

"Do I have to go, too?" Evan asked her. "I want to stay."

"You can stay," she smiled at her brother.

"You both can stay," Liz stepped forward. "Doula, why don't you come with me real quick?"

The little girl nodded and stepped off her drums. She took her mother's hand and they walked off into another room.

"She still hates me," Rory sighed.

Jess put his hand on hers. "She doesn't hate you."

"Yes, she does," she said. "She doesn't even want me here."

"That's not true," he shook his head. "She's just protective over me."

"Its not like I'm gonna do anything," Rory said and brushed Evan's hair away from his eyes.

"She thinks she's competing for her brother," Evan commented.

"What?" Rory asked.

"Doula," he nodded.

"Wait," Jess said. "So she just wants more time with me? That's all?"

"Yep," he nodded again. "She told me so last night. She doesn't want you leave."

"So she doesn't hate Rory," Jess commented. "Just that I'm not here."

Evan nodded faster. "Yep. She wishes you lived here, she said."

"I don't live here, buddy," he smoothed down his cousin's hair. "I can't really just pick up and leave, either."

Rory sat there in silence. She began to think about how actually, if Jess wanted to, he could. He told her he could write from anywhere and he technically lived in both Philadelphia and New York City. The logical part of her head screamed that and the selfish part told her be quiet because she loved having him around.

Liz and Doula walked back into the room and the younger girl walked straight to Rory. "I'm sorry, Rory."

"Its okay," she smiled.

"No, its not," Doula said. "I just really miss Jess and I take it out on you because he loves you too."

"Its really okay," Rory told her. "If I had to share Jess with someone who made him move away, I'd do the same thing."

"But you moved him closer and I should be happy," she admitted. "Do you want to play a game with me?"

"Sure," Rory smiled.

Doula raced upstairs and Liz stood in the doorway, watching. Rory moved Evan off of her lap and as she stood, Jess grabbed her hand. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," she smiled.

"Not juat about this -" he motioned a circle with his hands to indicate Doula. "But with your mom. You told her?"

"I told her," she nodded. "We talked. We cried. I'm okay."

"Okay, good," he let go of her hand and she walked out of the room and up the stairs.

"Why the concerned face?" Liz asked when Rory was gone.

"She just had a rough morning," Jess leaned to the back of the couch. "I wanna make sure she's all right."

"You're a good man, Jess," Liz smiled at her son and touched his cheek lightly then walked out of the room.

...

"I don't want to say goodbye!" Lorelai crushed her daughter to her as close as she could.

"I have to go," Rory laughed. "We need to get on the road."

"Okay, fine," she groaned. "Take me with you!"

"You're seven months pregnant," Jess said which earned him a glare.

"And?"

"And nothing."

"Lorelai, they have to go," Luke said for them. "They really should have left alrrady."

"But I don't want to say goodbye," she whined. "Evan might have been fine telling his sister bye but not me!"

"Even Emily did it," Jess added.

"Mom," she laughed. "I can't breathe."

"Good," Lorelai said. "Stay here and we'll go see a doctor."

"Mom!" She laughed.

"Fine," the older woman pouted and let go. "You saw Lane already?"

"I saw Lane," she nodded. "And Paris is still at the inn for a few more hours. So be nice."

"Is there any other way?" She grinned.

"Come on," Jess said to his girlfriend.

"Once second," Rory held up a finger and moved to hug Luke. "Bye, Luke."

"Bye, Rory," he said and hugged her back. "Be safe."

"Very safe," Lorelai winked.

Rory rolled her eyes thankfully. She was glad that her mother wasn't treating her like a fragile doll after this morning. "We should get going."

Jess stepped forward and hugged Luke quickly then Lorelai, too. Rory smiled at him then they got into the car with one last goodbye.

Jess threaded his fingers with Rory's as they drove. "You excited to go back?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I start as editor tomorrow. And I have you back with me so there's that."

He smirked at her but didn't turn. "It will be nice to be in the same place again."

"Jess?" She said. Now he turned to look at her. "Thank you for en couraging me. I'm not sure I would have been able to tell my mom today if it hadn't been for you."

"Nah," he said. "That was all you. You didn't need me."

"Yes, I do," she confessed.

He took another quick look at her then back to the road. "You're welcome."

"One more thing," she smiled. "Remember what we talked about earlier? What do you say we practice practicing when we get home?"

"I say that's a great idea," Jess grinned at her and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

Rory smiled happily and leaned back in her seat. She was definitely glad to be going home.


	48. Chapter 48

New York City was quiet for once. It had been an easy ride home and Jess took out his key to Rory's apartment. She noticed it in his hand just as she'd been about to reach for hers and smiled.

"You still have it," she observed.

He turned to look at his girlfriend, giving her a smirk. "What'd you think I did with then?"

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I guess I just didn't expect you to carry them with you."

Jess had the door unlocked and swung it open a few inches. "I had them with me in Philadelphia. When we left for Stars Hollow, I made sure to bring them with me."

"I'm glad you did," Rory followed him inside and hesitated on her next question. "So when you left for California...you left but you still brought your keys to my apartment? Even though we technically broke up?"

"Yeah," he nodded and shut the door. "I guess I didn't want to leave them here. Maybe it was hopeful thinking."

She grabbed his face and kissed him roughly. Jess kissed her back immediately. After seconds of intense kisses, Rory pulled away. "It was more than hopeful thinking."

He nodded silently and moved his hands to cup her face once her own had fell from his. Their lips touched lightly and he closed his eyes. "It's good to be home."

"Its good to hear you call it home," she smiled then remembered something. "I want to show you something."

"What?" He asked as Rory moved out of his arms and walked over to a closet.

He followed closely behind and watched as she knelt down and pulled a bunch of boxes out before dragging out a hidden one far in the back. "This is my Jess box."

"What the heck is a Jess box?" He asked with a small laugh.

"It is a box of things that remind me of you," she simply said. "Things from our high school relationship, things I wore, things you touched."

"Don't things you wore count as things I touched?" He teased.

She stuck her tongue out at him and struggled to bring the box out. Jess sprang to action and grabbed the box from her, surprised at the weight and brought it to the front of the couch.

"I want you to see all of this," she explained. "Because I know we've moved on from that fight and we're not bringing up the past anymore but..."

"But what?" He asked curiously.

"But your book," Rory smiled. "The things you wrote and how you felt...it was like I felt exactly what you felt. And I read the red notebook."

"Oh," he said. He wasn't sure how he felt that she actually had read it after all. A part of him was scared to know how she felt about it. "And?"

"And I don't think I ever knew just how much everything affected you back then," she told him. "I mean, I thought it was mostly me that was that hurt."

"It wasn't only you," he replied.

"I know that now," Rory took his hand and squeezed it a little. "But back then, I thought maybe we hadn't been as important to you after all if you could erase us and leave."

"I never tried to erase you -"

"Ssh," she put her hand over his mouth now instead. "I want you to see what you meant to me. It may not be words or a novel and it really may just be a box of stuff but it's my box of stuff. Jess stuff."

He nodded at her and she released his mouth. "Okay."

She watched as Jess moved to the box once again and opened the flaps. He pulled out the headphones from the distillers concert, the shirt of his that she'd worn, the teddy bear. He made his way through a pile of books, the obvious cause of the weight.

The dress fron Sookie's wedding was nearly folded in there as well. Jess took it out and held it up, remembering the way she looked in it thirteen years earlier. "This is in here?"

"Of course," she sat beside him. "That dress was the first time I actually acted on my feelings for you."

He smirked as he remembered. "That was a hell of a kiss."

"Up until that point, I'd never had a kiss like that before," she commented. "Honestly, I didn't have any after we broke up either."

"Me either," he smiled back and kissed her softly. Putting the dress down, he found a couple of cd's and a folded pile of papers. "What are these?"

Rory took a deep breath. She forgot he didn't know about these. "Those are my letters to you when I was in Washington."

"You didn't write me any letters," he was confused.

"Yes, I did," she whispered and rose her voice up so he could hear her. "Some only have a 'Dear Jess' on them but there are actually earlier ones that tell you how Washington was."

He unfolded them and sure enough, some were blank besides only two words and others filled up two sides of a page. "Why didn't you send them?"

"Because I was scared," she confessed.

Jess' eyes met hers and he held them in his glance. "Why were you scared? Because of me?"

"Because of how I felt about you," she corrected. "I was still with Dean and I had all these feelings about you. Some were about how much I liked being around you, some were about how good it felt to find someone I could have intelligent conversation with. There was also that I was really really attracted to you."

"That's a bad thing?" He smirked.

She shook her head. "Not exactly. But I tried to push it away because I had a boyfriend and that day at Skokie's wedding, you all but admitted you moved back for me. To a place you hated! Something took me over, I think."

"But if you sent them..." He thought out loud.

"I'd be admitting what I felt for someone who wasn't my boyfriend," she finished. "And a kiss was one thing. But I actually had strong feelings for you. I tried to deny it until I couldn't no more."

"I wish I knew," his eyes scanned through the longer letters. "Maybe things would have been different."

"I was too scared to break up with Dean," she shook her head. "I didn't know how to do it."

Jess wasn't sure what to say to that. He had always noticed the way Dean had been possessive over her or would overreact to small stuff. But he'd always also hoped she wasn't scared and hearing her admit the words made him feel sad so instead of replying, he wrapped an arm around her.

"Do you think..." She started then retried. "If I'd sent the letters, would you have been with Shane when I came back?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "I met her early in the summer that I can't say for sure. Maybe knowing how you felt would have done nothing."

"Because I was still with him?" She concluded.

"Partly," he put the letters down and pulled her closer so her head was right at his shoulder. "But also, I was this stupid kid. Knowing you felt that way and not having you probably would have made me act out."

He laughed at his former self, which was a good sign in her eyes, and she laughed too. "Like stealing more gnomes?"

"I'd have taken the whole family!" He replied dramatically then kissed her hair. "I can't really say for sure what would have happened then. All I know is that right now, I'm glad for how things turned out."

"Me, too," Rory kissed his shoulder. "Hey, Jess?"

"Yeah?" He murmered.

"Not to break up the conversation but," she smiled playfully. "We did mention practice when we got home, right?"

"Practice to practice," he said and leaned towards her and kissed. His body hovered over hers on the carpet and she smiled against his lips. She was home.

...

A week later, Rory groaned as she picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Is that any way to greet the woman who gave you life?" Lorelai said on the other line.

"Oh, hi, mom," she said. "I didn't know it was you."

"They have these amazing things on phones now called caller id," she teased. "They may not actually call it that anymore but it tells you who's calling!"

"I know," Rory said unenthusiasticly. "I'm just really tired and overworked and..."

"Hon...breathe," Lorelai instructed.

The younger Gilmore did as she was told. "Okay. I've breathed."

"Where's Jess?" She asked.

"Gee, now who needs the greeting manners?" Rory said as her humor pulled in.

Lorelai laughed. "I'm not after your boyfriend."

"So you say," Rory replied.

"Why would I be when I have my own Danes man at home?" She questioned.

"Well, okay, you're off the hook...for now," Rory warned then turned out of the joke. "Why are you looking for Jess?"

"I'm not looking for him," she answered. "I'm asking so he can help you."

"He's having drinks with Matt and Chris," she told her mother. The previous night, Jess' Truncheon co-partners had decided to visit and take a meeting with another potential writer. She hadn't minded until she realized just how much she wouldn't see him with them around.

"And why didn't you go with them?" She asked her daughter.

"Because its their guy time or whatever," she waved it off. "They spent the whole day with this guy who might not only get published by Truncheon but they're considering bringing onto the zine."

"So?" Lorelai prodded. "You worked all day, too. Go be with your boyfriend."

"I don't wanna intrude," she said. "I like that Jess has his own life apart from me. He has friends, Mom. Did you ever picture Jess Mariano with friends?"

"Well, he had you," she said. "But then again, he also wanted to make out with you at tamest."

"Mom!" She laughed. "Next point."

"Okay, Lane," Lorelai replied. "They're friends. And he was friends with her and Dave back in high school. Now he's friends with Zach."

"That's true," Rory smiled, happy that he wasn't actually as much of a loner as he tried to seem even back then.

"Let's not forget the most important of all," she added. "Me."

Rory officially laughed now. "Right. Because no one, not even me or Luke saw you and Jess on good terms coming. And we actually liked him."

"See, honey?" She teased. "Intrude. I'm sure he won't mind. Besides, he may be drunk. Drunk boyfriends can be fun."

Rory's smile faded fast as the words sank in. Lorelai was silent on the other end, realizing her mistake.

She spoke in a fast voice when she regained her voice. "Oh, hon. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Someone needs to shut me up. I say such stupid things. My brain doesn't always work with my mouth and -"

"Mom, its okay," she cut her off. "Really. I mean it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I am."

"I am sorry, though," she replied. "I should have thought first."

"Mom, don't worry about it," Rory shook her head. "And you're right. Sometimes drunk boyfriend is fun. Not all drinking is a crisis."

"I just wish I thought first," she pouted sadly.

"Don't worry about it," she told her mother. "Tell me about Stars Hollow. Did April get there okay?"

"Yeah, she got here 6 pm sharp," Lorelai said happily, easing back into happier conversation. "Anna was with her that caused some drama."

"Wait, Anna was there?" Rory sat up straight. "Why? April's an adult. And she just spent the holiday with her. That's why she didn't spend it with us."

"I don't know what's going on," she admitted. "Liz wasn't even happy to see her. She left pretty quick, though."

"Did she say anything?" She wondered.

Lorelai sounded like she was shrugging. "Not much. She brought April by the diner. Her and Luke talked privately and he still hasn't told me what about. I'm gonna ask later because she put a rain cloud over his mood."

"Its possible to put a rain cloud over a rain cloud?" Rory tried to make light of the conversation.

"I guess so," Lorelai told her.

Rory sighed. "Geez. The things I miss when I leave town."

"Come back soon then," she suggested.

"I'll try," she sighed. "Editing for the New York Times is definitely different than Yale Daily News."

"But its good?"

"Yeah. Its good."

"Good."

"Maybe you should tell Luke to come down here and visit," she suggested. "Before the baby's born."

"Really?" She asked excitedly. "It wouldn't get in the way of your love nest?"

"Not at all," she half-yelled. "Come on. Ask him."

"I will," she said. "He better not tell me he don't trust me around the coffee!"

"Use your femine wiles on him if he does!" Rory told her.

Lorelai let out a laugh. "Oh, hon, how do you think I get Luke to do anything?"

She made a face. "Oh, gross."

"Not much grosser than what I know about you," her mother pointed it back at her.

"What do you know about me?" She gasped.

Lorelai slowly replied. "There may have been some stuff around the upstairs apartment and in the garbage when Luke went to clean it."

"What kind of stuff?" She asked skeptically.

"I'm not saying anything," she replied.

"Mom!" Rory yelled. "What was in there?"

"Oh, what's that, Luke"?" The older woman said. "You need my help with Kirk?"

"Scaredy cat," Rory accused.

Lorelai gasped in return. "Am not! Got to go! Hubby needs me."

"Fine," she crossed one arm over her chest. "Bye."

"Bye, sweets," she said in a sweet voice. "By the way, your red bra was safely washed!"

"Mom!" She said as the dial tone sounded in her ear.

...

Jess slung his bag down and slouched on the couch. Rory looked over at him from the single seat she sat in, book in her lap. "Long day?"

He sighed. "Longer than expected."

"Matt and Chris finally make a decision?" She asked and moved over to sit beside him on the couch.

"They don't really think starting a Truncheon in New York is a good idea," he explained. "Something about if people want to read actual books over kindle, they'll go the library for free."

"But there are libraries everywhere," she said.

"Not like New York City libraries," he gestured with air quotes.

"So what then?" She asked. "You even told them you'd run it?"

"Yep," he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the couch. "Apparently that's not enough of a reason to open a second store."

Rory wrapped her arms around her boyfriend. Ever since he'd come home last night from drinks from Matt and Chris, he'd been talking about a New York Truncheon. He had been slightly drunk when he suggested it to her but it made perfect sense since he planned on staying with her.

"I guess I shouldn't sell my Philly apartment," he joked as he opened his eyes.

"What does this mean?" She wondered. "Are you living here part time and the other part there?"

"I don't know," he threw his hands up then brought them back down. "I really thought it was a good idea."

"It is a good idea," she told him. "They just need to see that it is."

"They sounded very sure," Jess said. "Matt said something about how a store might not do good here."

"But he doesn't know that for sure, right?" Rory pressed.

"No, I guess not," he admitted. "But I just really wanted one home, one place to go to. Not to live between two cities and have to pay for an apartment I'm not even staying at."

"So sell it," she urged. "Stay at Truncheon when you go there."

"I don't know," he made a face.

"It's not like you'd live there," she continued. "It'd be a place to crash. And that way you will have one home."

Jess considered this for a moment. "And if they need me to stay unlimited amount of time?"

"Then stay unlimited amount of time," she nodded. "I don't know but we can make it work."

"We?" A smile tugged at his lips.

She smiled back. "Yes, we."

"Okay," he nodded. "I can try to maybe see if anyone would be interested. Old friends in Philly. Maybe even one of them will take it."

She snuggled closer to him and Jess kissed her on her hair. "It will work out."

He rested his chin on her. "How come even when I don't see a way out of something, you do?"

"Because one of us has to be the pessimist in this relationship," she laughed. "And the other's job is to help see a bright side."

"Any side with you is a bright side," he said.

"Cheesy," she smiled.

Jess smiled. "Like cheddar."

Rory laughed and lifted her head. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you, too," he replied.

"Good," she smiled. "Just, I feel like I need to say it."

"I know what you mean," he brushed Rory's hair out of her face.

She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand then opened them again. "I'm glad this is the home you choose."

"Its always the home I choose," he whispered.

Rory kissed him softly and climbed into his lap. They deepened the kiss, hands roaming each others chest's and backs. Her nails dug into his chest through his shirt, thankful he'd taken off his jacket earlier. His hands roamed from her back to her bottom. One squeeze and another led Rory to groan loudly.

Jess smirked against her mouth and moved his lips lower to her neck. She arched her neck enough for him to get better access which just made him smirk bigger if he possibly could. His hands pulled at the hem of her shirt and she pulled apart, letting him slip it off of her.

The reaction was quick - his hands took no time moving to cup her bra-covered breasts. Rory's hands went to Jess' own shirt and he let her pull his off, too. Their lips attacked each other's again and just as he laid down with her on top, they heard it.

Rory's stomach rumbled loudly and she laughed almost shakily. "Of all the times..."

Jess laughed with her and kissed her stomach. "You hungry?"

"You're asking a Gilmore if she's hungry?" She asked.

"Right, stupid question," he backtracked.

She bit her lip which only made Jess regret even more that he was stopping this. "I don't want to stop."

"We'll finish after I feed you," he sat up and Rory moved with him. "Its not like we'll suddenly be out of the mood."

She blushed. "True."

"Come on," he picked his shirt up and was about to put it back on.

"Wait," she said. "Keep it off."

"Huh?" He raised an eyebrow. "You want me to cook shirtless?"

"Well, I'll not be wearing one either if that makes it any better," she smirked his own trademark back at him.

He pretended to think. "Okay, deal."

"That'll definitely guarantee the mood," she smiled as they walked into the kitchen to start dinner.

 **A/N: mostly filler chapter but still so much fun to write! I hope you like it!**

 **And I kinda feel like if I just move Jess to a NYC Truncheon, I'll be stealing other writer's ideas. I've seen a lot of good fics that have done that and I wanted to try something different ;)**

 **Also I apologize for the severe, horrible spelling errors in previous chapters. Having auto correct on is not always a good thing.**


	49. Chapter 49

"I'm coming to New York!" Lorelai screamed into the phone so loudly that her daughter had to pull it away for a moment.

"Any louder and I'm sure I would have heard you without the phone," Rory joked.

"Shush, child," Lorelai laughed. "I'm coming to see you soon so you better tell the man that's been defiling my daughter so he can prepare."

"Prepare for what?" She asked. "The puppy eyes you're bound to give him to convince him to give you coffee?"

"That and that he won't be getting any for...drumroll please!" On the other end, there was brr-ing sound that vaguely resembled drums. "A week!"

Rory gasped in happiness. "A week! Really?"

"Really," she could her mother's smile. "Luke, of course, is coming, too. Lane and Zach are running the diner for him and we will probably actually need a hotel because I don't think your apartment is built for the five of us."

"We'll make room," Rory smiled. "You can stay in our room and Jess and I will stay on the couch."

"Ew!" Lorelai whined. "I don't know if I want to stay in a room where you and Jess have...bleh."

"And you think I like knowing where you and Luke have...wait, this has taken a creepy turn," Rory made a face.

"Yeah, let's never speak of it again," her mother added.

The younger girl nodded. "Deal."

"So we will be there in maybe three days," her mother told her. "Clean up and make the place pretty. Hide anything mommy won't want to see."

"Where can I put Evan?" Rory asked.

"He probably won't care where he stays, but..." Lorelai was silent for a few seconds than she spoke again. "I'll have to ask him. Do you have any extra beds?"

"You think I have extra beds?" Rory raised her eyebrow though her mom couldn't see her.

"Well, I don't know!" She shrugged. "I haven't been to your apartment since you moved in!"

"You could have come," she teased.

"I know," another whine. "But baby had other plans."

"Right," she nodded then smiled again. "That actually reminds me of something."

"Reminded you of what?" She asked wonderingly.

"Me and Jess were having a pretty serious conversation about the future the other day," she said.

"Oh yeah?" She sounded almost surprised. "So he's staying in New York?"

"Not only is he staying in New York but he's gonna sell his apartment in Philadelphia," she answered. "If he goes back for work, he's gonna stay at Truncheon."

"Wow, hun, that's fantastic," her mother said and she meant it. "I'm glad because all that stuff lately, I know how it made you feel."

"All of that is over," Rory waved off. "There's more."

Lorelai's next words sounded stunned. "Oh my god. He proposed."

"No," she laughed.

"Then what else is more?" She wondered. "Are you..."

"No, I'm not," Rory replied. "But we were talking how maybe, in the future...It wouldn't be so bad."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"You said that already," Rory said.

"I know," Lorelai said. "I'm just processing."

Rory waited a few seconds before she got impatient. "And?"

"And I'm wondering what I should call the kid," she answered. "My grandchild or my great nephew."

"Not that again!" She blew out a breath but laughed anyway. "It's not a blood relation!"

"Evan and this little one is, though!" Lorelai pointed out.

Rory paled. "Okay, I'm gonna pretend that sentence didn't happen."

"Yeah, that was weird," Lorelai replied. "Another subject?"

"Yes, please," Rory quickly said as Lorelai told her Stars Hollow news.

...

"My mom's coming," Rory jumped on the bed right on top of her sleeping boyfriend.

"What?" He asked. "What time is it?"

"Eight," she smiled.

"In the morning?" She nodded. "And youre up? Before me?"

"The phone rang," she shrugged.

"So not only are you up at eight am but your mom is too?" He looked almost scared. "Is the apocalypse here?"

"Shush," she smiled bigger. "I can wake up early."

"You might be able to occasionally but your mom can't," he pointed out.

"That was before she had a diner owning husband who wakes up insanely early," she pointed back.

"Fair point," he agreed and shifted so he was on his back rather than side. Jess held Rory to him as he moved so she wouldnt leave. "When?"

"Three days," she said.

"Three days?" He asked. "Where will they stay?"

"Here," she gestured to the room.

"Where will we stay then?" Jess continued.

Rory pointed to the living room area. "Out there."

He made a face. "We're gonna fit on the couch?"

"Okay, you sleep on the floor and I get the couch," she grinned down at him.

"Sounds fair," he said sarcastically.

"Come on, Jess," she pouted. "My mom is coming. Luke and Evan are coming. Its gonna be fun."

"We have very different opinions of fun," he replied.

"Jess," she pouted even more.

"Okay, fine," he said and she brightened immediately. "But this is your apartment. You don't need my input on whether or not your mother stays here."

"Its your apartment too, now," Rory said. "Once the Philly apartment is sold, this will be your one and only residence."

"That you know of," he smirked. "You're right. I probably should get used to that, huh?"

"Yes," she leaned and kissed him quick. "And soon because it might be weird if we have guests and you don't call this home."

"Crazy girl," Jess teased and held onto her tighter by her hips. "You are my home."

The smile that broke out on Rory's face was undeniably happy. She kissed him again then climbed off of him despite his protests. "Get up. Come on."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because you just said something incredibly sappy," she answered and held out her hand. "So now you're gonna make me breakfast as to continue this moment."

"Fine, deal," Jess said and took her hand as she pulled him out of the bed.

...

Later that night, after dinner, Jess cleared away the take-out containers and turned to his girlfriend. He leaned against the counter and sighed. "Matt called me today."

"What'd he want?" Rory looked at him curiously.

"Two things, actually," he answered. "Or three."

She laughed. "Is it two or three things?"

"Three," he finally said. "The first two are good. I finished editing Garret's book and sent it to them."

"Oh, good!" She smiled. "I know you told me the stuff about the character's parents was hard to read through."

He nodded. "To say I got frustrated thinking of my own mother or absentee father would be an understatement."

She sat down on the single couch seat and curled her legs under her. "I'm glad you finished. Are they publishing it?"

"There's some stuff they got to do first but yeah, I think so," Jess told her.

Rory smiled softly at him. "And what's the second thing?"

"In addition to my finished editing work, both Matt and Chris have finished reading my book," he said.

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed, obviously much more excited about this news. "What did they say?"

"They're planning on publishing it next," he confessed.

Rory held her hands over her mouth to hold in her smile. "That's amazing. Isn't it? Jess."

He looked up from the spot on the floor he'd just become occupied with. "It is amazing."

"Why don't you seem more excited?" She pouted.

"That's adorable," he pointed at her and smiled.

Rory climbed off the couch and walked into the kitchen. "Are you not happy about the book?"

He nodded slowly then shook his head, conflicted. "I'm not sure. It kind of kicked in that this novel I wrote for you was gonna be out there for everyone to read."

"And?" She waited.

"And I liked it being between us," he replied. "Maybe I shouldn't have given them it."

"Don't be ridiculous," Rory shook her head. "Of course you should have. You're nervous everyone will know how you feel about me?"

Now he shook his head. "I guess I liked it was our thing. I probably didn't think through it all enough."

She smiled at him. "The way I see it is you wrote this amazing book. A novel just for me. So what if others see it and read it? Its still me and you and honestly, I couldn't be prouder of you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Jess moved away from the counter and brought Rory to him, hugging her tightly. Both of their arms wrapped around the other and he kissed the side of her head. "I love you, you know that?"

"No, tell me again," she smiled against his chest.

He smiled too. "I love you, Rory."

"Always have, always will," she quoted his letter with another smile.

Jess let out a small laugh at that. "You're gonna use that forever against me?"

She moved her head from its place against his chest to look at him and shook her head. "Not using it against you. More like...remembering this incredibly romantic thing you said to me in this incredibly sweet letter."

He kissed her forehead this time. "The way you love me astounds me."

"That makes two of us," she laughed but stopped and made a face. "Hey, what's the third?"

"Oh, right," he sighed again. The happiness from seconds ago faded. "Matt also said that...Jen called."

"Oh," she said, her own laughter gone. Jen had become a sore subject since what had happened on her birthday. "Did she leave a message?"

"Yeah," he moved out of her arms and walked into the living room part of the apartment. "She was looking for me."

"What did she want?" Rory wondered as she followed him.

"To apologize again, I guess," he shrugged.

"She tried already?" She asked.

"Yeah, a few times," he nodded. "I answered once but the other times I just got a voicemail."

"Did you call her?" Rory asked.

"No," he shook his head. "Have you talked to her lately?"

"Not really," she shrugged. "Since they offered me editor, they paired someone else with her."

"What do you think I should do?" He asked genuinely. "I don't really want to get into all of that again, either."

She moved closer to him and put her hands on his arms. "I think you should call her back. The whole thing was my fault, not hers and she doesn't deserve the silent treatment."

"Rory -"

She shook her head and cut him off before he could lie and say it wasn't her fault. "Jen was your friend first. And she was your friend after. I think that you should let her apologize and move on."

"You think so?" Jess asked and she nodded in reply. "Okay. I'll call her tomorrow. I'd rather not have this hanging over us when your mom comes, either."

"Good idea," she nodded again with a face that said she agreed. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he said with a small smile. "Yeah. Juat trying to process one thing at a time."

"I have an idea," she smiled brightly and he raised his eyebrow questionably. "Not that."

He smirked then and wrapped his arms around her waist. "What then?"

"How about a movie night?" She asked. "Completely relaxed, sitting on the couch together..."

Jess nuzzled her neck. "The other idea might help distract me more."

She smiled but didn't fall for it. "We could watch Almost Famous."

He perked his head to look at her. "You hate Almost Famous."

"I don't hate-hate it," she defended but he didn't believe her. "I don't! Just the idea of Kate Hudson always committing suicide because you made me watch it so many times..."

He smiled at her. "You hate it."

"Fine, I hate it," she sighed. "But I love you and you love it, for some reason. So I will be willing to watch that dreadful movie for you."

Jess kissed her quickly. "You're the best girlfriend, do you know that?"

"I doubt that but I'll take it," Rory laughed.

"Really," he said. "And maybe one day soon, after your mom, Luke and Evan leave, we can watch Ed Wood."

Rory gasped and smiled huge. "Really? We haven't watched that together in so long!"

"Because the way you feel about Almost Famous is the way I feel about Ed Wood," he laughed.

"I'll deal with Kate Hudson trying to overdose some pills for little old Ed Wood," she beamed.

He hugged her tightly against his chest. "Like I said, the best girlfriend."

Rory pulled out of the hug and untangled herself. "I'll go get the dvd."

Jess watched as she went to take the disc out of the cover and smiled. His whole life, he wasn't sure what happiness felt like but right now, the past few months, he knew what he found must be pretty close.

...

Three days later, Rory finished throwing new sheets onto her and Jess' bed. She had cleaned just about everywhere she could as she waited for her mother's arrival. It still made her nervous to have the three of them here and she wasn't sure why.

At first, she figured because they hadn't been to this apartment in months. Then it flicked to how this was now her and Jess' place.

After their talk about him selling the Philly apartment, Jess had called the next day to put it on the market. They weren't going to do it yet partly because he needed to pack. After their three guests had left, he was headed to Philadelphia to get the apartment ready for sale.

Right now, however, she missed him. Jess had called Jen after all and they had met up for lunch today. When he first mentioned it, she was jealous. The jealousy turned to annoyance when Jess laughed in her face at her admittance.

He finally stopped laughing enough to ask if she ever noticed the wedding ring she wore. Rory had felt silly after that and didn't comment how the ring doesn't always matter. Jess knew that pretty well already so she felt no need to bring it up.

So, here she was, tucking in a quilt on the edge corners of her bed and thinking of her boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend having lunch even if it wasn't romantic. A knock on the door snapped her out of her thoughts and Rory moved to the open it. A giant smile broke out on her face when she saw her mother stood there, Evan's hand in hers.

"You're early!" Rory beamed as she hugged her family. "You weren't supposed to be here until tonight!"

"What can I say?" Lorelai shrugged, smile on her face. "Wanted to come see my baby girl."

"Where's Luke?" She asked, worried for a moment.

"Daddy's parking the car," Evan answered for his mother.

"And bringing our stuff up," Lorelai added. "Which I apologized many times to him for before we even left."

"Paul Anka get settled with Babette okay?" The younger girl asked.

"Oh, yeah," she nodded. "He loves her so he was happy to get some time with her."

"Good," Rory smiled. She missed that dog. "Don't stand out there, come on. Come in."

Rory moved aside so Evan and Lorelai can come in and she checked the hallway to see if she saw Luke. There was no sign of him yet so she moved inside, keeping the door open for him. Evan let go of his mom's hand in search of the apartment.

"He's investigating," Lorelai told her daughter.

"I see," Rory smiled. "Hey, did you figure out where he will stay?"

"He wants to sleep on the floor, apparently," she answered. "Brought a sleeping bag and everything. Wants to treat this like a sleepover with his favorite people."

"Aww," she smiled as she watched Evan enter their bedroom. "I'm glad I got a headstart on everything for you. I didn't expect you to be early."

"And I didn't expect you to be done getting ready," Lorelai replied. "Where's Jess?"

"Jess is out," she nodded. "He's having lunch with a friend."

Lorelai nodded, too. "Oh that's nice. What's her name?"

"It's Jen," Rory told her. "Wanted to apologize for what happened. He wasn't sure about going but once the lunch is over, its all behind us, right?"

"Right," she agreed. "Hun, are you jealous?"

"I'm not," she said. "I'm really not. I just really don't want this stir any of that back up. He's gonna be thinking about it and I just hope he doesn't follow those thoughts."

"He do anything to make you think he will?" She questioned.

Rory shook her head. "No. Actually, we've been even better than before all of that."

"Then push it aside," her mother explained. "Don't let it fester into something it doesn't need to be."

"I'll try," the corners of her mouth quirked up in a smile.

Right then, someone appeared at the door, panting and carrying a large load of baggage. "I am getting too old for this."

"Hi honey," Lorelai smiled sweetly.

Luke put down the bags and suitcases and shut the door behind him. "Hi, Rory."

"Hey, Luke," she walked over to him and hugged him.

"Where'd Evan go?" He wondered and looked around the room.

"I think he's checking out the bathroom now," Lorelai answered.

"Huh," the man said and reminded Rory very much of Jess. "What about my nephew?"

"Out," his wife answered for her daughter.

"He should be back soon," Rory added and grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter. She sent Jess a quick text telling him their guests are there early and put it back down.

"I think we need to talk plans," Lorelai said from the couch. "I don't wanna be completely touristy but I also want to do some touristy things."

"We can do that," Rory nodded in agreement. "I did some of that when I first got here but not all of it."

"Youre not going crazy though," Luke warned.

Lorelai looked mock surprised. "When have I gone crazy?"

Both Rory and Luke gave her a look. She pouted and leaned back onto the couch, her soon to be eight months pregnant belly covered by her winter coat. Evan soon stopped his investigation and returned back to his family. The four of them sat on the couch and caught up on little things like the inn and work.

Rory looked at the door excitedly when she heard keys jingle and the lock turn. Lorelai smiled at her daughter as she saw a younger version of herself in her. The door opened and before Jess could process anything, say hello even, his girlfriend's arms were around him.

"Did you miss me or something?" He teased her and kissed her hair.

"Of course," she mumbled into his chest and he smirked at her words.

"Not to cut this short or anything," Lorelai said from the couch. "But some of us are big and huge and don't want to move but want to greet the step nephew."

Jess made a face as he and Rory walked into the apartment, shutting the door behind him. "That just sounded weird."

"I'm not gonna say it again," Lorelai promised.

Luke stood up and hugged Jess as Evan came and hugged his leg as well. Hellos were made and Jess moved to even hug Lorelai. They continued talking and before long it had become late enough for dinner. Jess ordered pizza despite Luke's objections and because of Lorelai, Rory and Evan's cheers. It was going to be an interesting week.

A/N: just a small note. Me, personally, I loved Almost Famous. I haven't watched it in a while nor am I as crazy addicted as Jess was. I have never seen Ed Wood however, despite being a huge Johnny Depp fan. That definitely needs to change lol


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: Wow. Fifty chapters. I am amazed at myself and proud and I want to say thank you to all the reviewers, readers, of you recommend this story anywhere...you're the best. You make me feel like I'm not alone and inspire me to continue on.**

 **Though I am sad to say this story is getting close to a closing. I'm not sure how many chapters are left, I have extended it far more than I thought I could. But timing wise, I'm near the end so I felt since you've all been so amazing, you deserve a heads up on it. I'm gonna miss writing this timeline when it comes to an end.**

"I can't believe I agreed to this," Jess groaned as he set up the couch for the night.

Rory tried to use of the power of her eyes on him. "You agreed because you love me."

"Yes I do but at what cost?" He smirked at her and she stuck out her tongue. "You think Evan's close to having his teeth brushed so I can use the bathroom?"

"I'm not sure," she laughed. "Go check on him. If anything, it'll speed him up."

"Fine," he kissed her quick and walked in the direction of the bathroom. She laughed as she watched him go and the bedroom door opened and out walked Luke. "Hey."

"Hey," Luke said awkwardly. "You guys gonna be okay out here?"

"We'll be fine," she waved off. "How's mom? She's settling in okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah...she's good. Right Noe she's talking in a southern voice imitating some character in a movie. I don't know which."

Rory laughed. "Well, that's one thing to do, I guess."

"How are you doing?" He asked. When she looked at him confused, he added. "Because of everything that went on between the two of you. I don't usually like to be involved but I was worried."

"I'm good," she smiled at her stepfather and sat down on the newly done couch. Luke said beside her. "We're good."

"Has Jess said what he's doing yet?" He asked. "Is he staying here?"

"Actually, he is," Rory answered. "He's gonna sell his other apartment and work from the city."

"Good," Luke nodded. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Luke?" She asked and he faced her. "Mom told me that you always supported me and Jess, even in high school. I just want to say thanks for that."

"You don't have to thank me for that," he shook his head.

"Yes, I do," she said. "Because there wasn't always people on our side and knowing you're on it is a nice relief."

He smiled softly at her. "But if anything happens...I might be tempted to take a side."

"We'll have to make sure nothing happens then, right?" She smiled bigger.

Jess walked from the direction of the bathroom with Evan behind him. He was smiling too. "This one is finished in there."

"I was doing fine!" Evan protested.

"You had toothpaste all over the sink!" Jess argued back.

Evan crossed his arms in defeat. "I meant to do that!"

"Whoa, is there a mess to clean up?" Rory asked and stood up.

"Its cleaned now," Jess told her.

"You all ready to sleep?" Luke asked his son who nodded in reply.

Evan nodded fast. "Jess gonna help me set my sleeping bag up."

"Not your old man?" Luke teased.

"Nope," Evan shook his head this time.

Rory laughed and Jess smiled. "Guess he's out-growing you, Uncle Luke."

"I wish you'd outgrow that nickname," he said back.

"Never," Jess grinned.

"Go set up the sleeping bag," he waved his nephew off.

Jess laughed and mock-saluted his uncle before leaving the room. He knocked on the bedroom door. "Men entering the room!"

He walked inside and she heard her mother say something. Rory laughed once more and then turned to Luke. "He loves you."

"Who, Jess?" He asked questionably.

"Both of them, really," she said. "Evan won't outgrow you just as much as Jess doesn't outgrow that nickname."

"He should outgrow that nickname," he said. "Do you think Evan's excited about the baby?"

"Of course he is!" She told him. "He says he wants to be in there when the baby's born. He doesn't know yet he doesn't want to be."

Luke smirked at that. "I've... I've been a little worried."

Rory tilted her head thoughtfully. "Because of what the doctors said? The chances?"

He nodded. "What if something goes wrong? The doctor said that it'd be hard for her to get pregnant again."

"But she did," she added. "And everything has been going great so far."

"That's true," he agreed. "I just can't shake this feeling."

"Everything will be fine," she said. "She's pretty much eight months in now. Mom and baby are both healthy, Evan is excited, the baby room is done."

"I'm probably just being my non-optimistic self, aren't I?" He asked with a small smile.

"Tiny bit," she squeezed her fingers to a show a small slot of space.

She hugged him then pulled away. "I guess I'll go get ready to sleep too."

"Okay," Rory nodded as he stood up and walked in the direction of the bedroom then bathroom.

The bedroom door opened seconds later and out walked Jess. "Your mom has gone crazier."

"What's she done now?" Rory laughed.

"She thinks I'm her servant while she's here," he answered and sank down onto the couch. "Says I should buy her a bell."

"Poor baby," Rory laughed and kissed his cheek. "But since its my mom, maybe she's right."

He gave her a strange look. "You think she's right in wanting me wait on her?"

"Humor her," she teased. "She's eight months pregnant and she's only gonna be here a week. Just play along."

"I've never played along with anything Lorelai Gilmore has asked," he reminded her.

"You've played along with this Lorelai Gilmore," she grinned.

"Well, it'd be weird if I played with your mother like that," he nudged her.

Rory made a disgusted face. "Oh. Ew. Don't say that again."

"Did that change your mind?" He hoped.

"No," she shook her head. "It did give me an idea, though."

Jess was curious. "What's that?"

She didn't answer. Instead she leaned toward him, her teeth bit playfully on his ear and he made a sound in his throat. "I'll make it up to you."

"I'm listening," he whispered.

Rory grinned widely and he felt her breath on his ear. "I'll do that thing you've been asking me to do."

His eyes widened. "You mean -?"

"Uh-huh," she took his ear between her teeth again.

"Deal," he said and turned his face as long as his ear was free. Jess kissed her intensely, deepening it and almost fully pulling her onto his lap. The thing that stopped her from completely being over him was a throat clearing.

The two of them looked over to see who ot was though they had an idea. Both Rory and Jess felt like teenagers in that moment. They were eighteen, upstairs in the diner apartment, on the couch, caught by none other than the man who stood in front of them - Luke Danes.

Rory peeled herself away and off of Jess, retreating to her own spot on the couch. Jess, however, seemed casual. "Hey, Uncle Luke."

"None of that while we're here," he pointed a finger between them.

"None of what, Uncle Luke?" Jess innocently asked with a smirk.

"You know what," he said. "Its not just for me and Lorelai. Evan's here so..."

"None of that," Jess finished. "Got it."

Luke walked into the bedroom and as soon as he was gone, Rory turned a deep shade of red. "I really forgot someone could walk in just then."

"Not used to it anymore?" He questioned and she shook her head. Jess laughed and put his arm around her, pulling her closer. "Its only a week."

"God, it just kicked in how we can't get carried away for a week," she replied.

Jess laughed. "You afraid you can't resist me that long?"

"Oh, I know I can resist you," she said despite his raised eyebrows. "Its more... you make me not want to."

"Huh," he smirked.

She hit him on the chest. "Wipe that smirk off of your face."

"I said nothing," he said and the smirk faded.

The bedroom door opened again and Rory quickly moved out of Jess' arms. Lorelai smiled brightly at them. "Don't stop on my account."

"Hey, mom," Rory blushed again as she thought of the previous topic.

"Hello, child of mine," she replied then looked to Jess. "Man defiling child of mine. Heard I missed some kind of make-out in here?"

"We weren't making out," Rory defended. "We were just kissing."

"Sure," Jess agreed. "She was in my lap, tongue down my throat -"

Rory elbowed him and Lorelai held her hands up. "Okay. I definitely understand Luke's side of this now."

"He is exaggerating," she stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend.

Jess pointed at her. "There it is again! See, she can't resist me!"

Lorelai nodded, laughing. "Poor daughter. Getting teased by a man in the Danes family who is supposed to love you. I know this feeling well."

"How do I stop him?" Rory asked and he mock gasped beside her in surprise.

"Let him think he's winning then get him back," Lorelai winked.

Rory looked over at Jess with an evil expression. "Will do."

He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. "What does that exactly mean?"

"You'll see," his girlfriend grinned.

Lorelai walked over to them and hugged her daughter. "I am saying good night, loin fruit. Because Luke has gone to sleep already and Evan is awaiting a story."

"Goodnight, Mom," Rory smiled and hugged her back.

Lorelai moved over to Jess and hugged him quickly. "Night, Jess."

"Ma'am," he smirked and that led to a glare that could freeze a fire.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that," Lorelai warned but walked off to the bathroom too now.

Rory turned to Jess. "It is pretty late. We should sleep, too."

"Okay," he nodded and they both stood up.

Rory told him to lay down first and she crawled under the blankets with him once he was comfortable. She was glad she already did everything she needed to before going to sleep. "This is nice."

"Yeah, it is," he wrapped his arms around her.

"What if we get uncomfortable during the night?" Rory asked.

"I don't see how lying with you closely to me can get uncomfortable but..." He smiled.

"Be serious," she smiled. "Should one of us move if it does?"

"Okay if it gets too uncomfortable, I'll move to the floor," he offered. "Deal?"

"Deal," she snuggled closer. "I really hope you don't though because youre a pretty good pillow."

Jess smiled once again and they both closed their eyes. Lorelai walked out of the bathroom to see the two of them already asleep on the couch. She smiled to herself and went over to shut a lamp before going back to her husband and son in the other room.

...

The next morning, both Rory and Jess woke up not entirely uncomfortable but also not comfortable. She awoke first, smelling coffee and smiled to herself. She rose her arms over her head and stretched. She carefully got herself out of Jess' arms and covered him back up.

She padded into the kitchen and saw her stepfather, mother and brother sitting at the counter. "Morning."

"Morning," Lorelai said and kissed her daughter on the cheek.

Evan jumped into her arms and hugged her. Luke handed her a coffee cup and she inhaled gratefully. "So were you ever going to wake us?"

"No," Lorelai shook her head and drank out of her own cup.

"I was going to but they told me not to," Luke pointed out.

"Mom made me take a picture," Evan told his sister.

Rory's jaw dropped. "What? You didn't."

"I wanted to document the memory for you," she shrugged.

"I want to see this picture," she said.

Evan sat up straighter in his seat. "Its on her phone."

"Which is charging," Lorelai said.

Luke leaned toward his stepdaughter. "I had no part of any of this."

"I believe you," she said and glared at both her mother and brother teasingly.

"Everyone's awake," she heard a sleepy, familiar voice and smiled.

Jess walked into the kitchen and he kissed Rory on the head as he stood behind her. "Morning, Jess."

"Lorelai," he nodded as he remembered her suspicious advice to her daughter the previous night. He turned to Evan and ruffled his hair. "Hey, kid."

"Not the hair!" Evan put his hands on top of his head and both Gilmore girls laughed.

"He's so a mini-Jess right now," Rory giggled.

"Not that hair thing again," he grumbled and sat down next to her.

She reached out and touched his own hair. He smiled at her and they started to eat the breakfast Luke had made for them.

...

"I want to go to the Empire State Building," Lorelai pouted.

Rory laughed at her child-like behavior. "You will be exhausted."

"But they have elevators!" She argued. "Come on. Its a tourist thing and I've never done it!"

"Okay, fine," Rory said. "But I'm not gonna be the one who tells your husband."

"I'll tell him as long as you take me there," Lorelai replied.

"Okay, okay," she nodded and looped her arm with her mother's. "We'll do touristy stuff after we eat, okay? Because I'm starving and I'm not sure I'll make it without eating."

"That sounds like a good idea to me," Lorelai agreed. "You know my answer to food, especially now."

Rory smiled. "Hey, Mom? Are you worried?"

"Worried about what?" She asked.

"The baby," Rory said. "Luke said some things last night. He sounded really worried. Very worried for Luke."

Lorelai waved it off. "He's been worrying since we found out a out the baby."

"And that's...that doesn't make you worry too?" She asked.

"No, kid," she smiled a genuine smile. "It doesn't. Because the doctor told me it'd be hard to get pregnant, not for me to carry. And here I am, pregnant."

"You're really not worried?" She wondered. "Not even a little?"

Her mother shook her head. "Not even a little."

Rory led them in the direction of a pizza place. "Good. Because he's worrying enough for the both of you."

Lorelai laughed. "Yeah, he is. But I like that you asked. It's good to know you still worry about your old mommy."

"Youre not old," she argued. "And I'll always worry."

"Good to know," she nodded. "And same here. Like with what my husband's walking in on in the living room."

"He didn't walk in on anything," she objected. "We were just kissing."

"Uh-huh," she said disbelieving. "It sounded more intense than what I walked in on back in high school."

"Well, we are adults now," she teased. "I don't think you need to give us a sex talk, Mom."

"Oh, trust me, I know," she replied and Rory pouted at her in shock.

"You wanna talk about not needing a sex talk?" Rory asked and pointed to her mother's very pregnant belly.

"Hey, I'm the mom here," she gasped.

"Truce then?" Rory laughed.

"Truce," Lorelai agreed and they walked into the pizzeria.

...

Jess wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to do with his uncle and cousin. If it had been his choice, he'd have taken them to a bookstore and browsed around. As it was, they walked around hoping Evan spotted something he would want to do.

None of them had noticed until it was too late that someone wasn't paying attention to where they were walking. Jess bumped right into someone and immediately started talking. "Sorry."

The other person looked at him and smiled. "Jess. Hi."

"Jen," he said. "This is..."

"A coincidence?" She asked.

"I was gonna say weird," he said then turned to the others with him. "You remember Luke."

"I do," she smiled. "How are you?"

"Doing good," Luke nodded. "What about you?"

"Good," she nodded back. "Who's this?"

"This is Evan, Luke and Lorelai's son," Jess introduced.

"Oh!" She gasped. "I've heard about you! Nice to finally put a name to the face."

"I never heard of you," Evan commented.

Jess laughed awkwardly. He wasn't really sure of the protocol for running into ex's on the street. He hadn't exactly had a good track record. "They're visiting for the week."

"Oh, that's nice," she said. "And Lorelai is Rory's mom, right?"

"Who's Lorelai?" Evan asked. "Rory's mom is mom."

"Mom is Lorelai, kid," Jess told him.

"Dad?" He asked and Luke nodded in reply.

"Its the truth," he agreed.

"Sorry to be so quick about this but I have to go," Jen pointed out. "Jordan's waiting for me."

"Oh," Jess said. "It was good seeing you. Again."

"Yeah, again," she laughed and turned to Luke and Evan. "Good to see you again, too and to meet you."

"Same here," Luke nodded and she walked off in her own direction.

"Bye, Jen!" Evan yelled at her.

She smiled and turned around to wave at him. Jess stuffed his hands in his pocket. "Let's go."

"So you saw her again," Luke said. "Rory knows and it's not weird?"

"Rory knows and its not weird," he confirmed.

"And?" He waited.

"And what?" Jess asked. "I'm a little surprised you're asking me about this."

"I'm asking for Rory's sake," he defended.

"Rory knows," he said. "She's the one who told me to see her."

"Okay," Luke nodded. He could tell Jess didn't want to talk about it, probably because it could bring up Rory's birthday. So instead, he let it drop and they continued on their walk through the city.

...

That night, Rory, Lorelai and Evan sat on the couch while they waited for Luke and Jess to pick up dinner. They were watching a black and white movie they found on a classic movies channel. Neither had seen it before or knew the title, which surprised the men before they left. But they had started to enjoy it so they left it on.

Evan pointed to a blonde in the film. "She reminds me of Jen!"

Rory looked over at him and laughed. "Jen?"

Her little brother nodded. "Yeah! The girl we ran into today."

Lorelai looked over at her son too now. "You ran into a Jen today?"

"Well, Jess did but me and Dad were there," he added.

"And?" Lorelai asked.

"And she was nice," he nodded happily.

Rory slumped in her seat, quiet. Lorelai looked over to her and told Evan to go wash his hands because the food might be back soon. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking Jess ran into a friend who happens to be his ex," she replied. "I guess I can't expect him to never see her that he's back here."

"And are you okay with that?" Her mother asked.

"I trust Jess," she answered. "I don't think I have any reason not to. And I don't feel like I need to worry. Its just...the whole situation is weird."

"Right," Lorelai agreed. "Its not like you have his ex coming to town with the daughter he didn't know about right?"

"You ever find out why Anna came?" Rory asked.

"April wants to move to Stars Hollow, permanently," Lorelai explained. "And Anna does not like that. So she wanted to come and ask Luke about how everything there and of course, it brought up that horrible custody hearing years ago."

"Oh," Rory sighed. "That's not good. April moving to Stars hollow is, though."

"Yeah, we all want her there but Anna seems to not," she sighed. "She wants her closer to her so they can visit easier and you know, so Anna doesn't need to come to Stars Hollow."

"That's quite an impasse," the younger girl nodded.

"That's what I said," Lorelai pointed out. "And April is determined to come there no matter what. She's done with school and she wants to be closer to her dad."

"I think its a good idea," Rory mused.

"I do, too," Lorelai agreed. "I just hope she doesn't try to cause any more drama about it."

"I hope not."

The door opened and in walked Jess and Luke. They carried a giant box of take-out and the girls smiled brightly at them. Evan rushed out of the bathroom, his hands soaking wet still and hugged his father.

"Time to eat," Jess said.

...

"Hey, Jess?" Rory snuggled closer to him on the couch.

"Hmm?" He murmered with his eyes closed.

"Evan mentioned something today," she took a breath. His breathing didn't change at all so either he expected this or had no idea where she could be going with this. "He said you ran into Jen today."

Jess laughed. "Oh, I did. Literally ran into her."

"Oh, ow," she made a scrunched face. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he tightened his arm around her.

"Jess?" She asked and got another hmm in return. "Are you guys - are you friends again?"

"We never really stopped being friends," he opened his eyes.

"Oh," she said. "Then I guess I'm asking if, are you hanging out again?"

"No," he said.

"No?"

"No."

"But I told you go to lunch with her," she argued. "And now Evan's meeting her..."

"Evan met her because I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking," he replied.

"Its okay if you do hang out," she backtracked.

"We're not hanging out," he said. "She's actually going back to Philly."

That surprised Rory. She lifted herself a little so she could look into his eyes. "What?"

"Yeah," he laughed. "Told me yesterday at lunch. I didn't get the chance to tell you."

"What about the times?" She asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I guess she'll take another job."

"But why?" She continued.

Another shrug. "I didn't exactly ask."

She kissed him sweetly, lips lingering close together after she pulled away. "Okay."

"Should I be offended?" He asked.

"No," she smiled. "Complimented. Because I know how I felt as your ex. I still wanted you."

"That feeling was mutual," he smirked and put a piece of hair behind her ear. "You have nothing to worry about."

"I know," she shook her head. "I'm sorry. Having a hot boyfriend definitely clouds over my rationality sometimes."

"I know the feeling since I have a hot girlfriend," Jess kept smirking.

"I knew there wasn't just me," she teased and he kissed her softly.

"Sleep," he held her to him once again. "Youre stuck with me. I think its time you get used to it."

"I think I can manage," she smiled.

Pretty soon, both of them had drifted off to sleep. Rory still lay cuddled in Jess' arms all through the night. Neither ever became uncomfortable


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: I wasn't sure how exactly to write the visit. I am not good at writing people just doing everyday things or kind of touring areas. So I hope this ends up all right haha**

Jess shoved his phone back into his front pocket annoyed. He had just gotten a text from Matt about trying to move the book quicker and he hadn't even decided on an editor yet. He had offered to edit his own but Chris said it might be better to get a second set of eyes.

Rory looked over at him, a silent question in her eyes. He shook his head and gave her a small smile.

Lorelai walked over to them, a beaming smile on her face. "All ice creams are ordered. Including Luke's boring vanilla with no sprinkles in a cup."

"Something wrong with vanilla?" Jess asked her teasingly.

"Nothing's wrong with vanilla," she replied. "But how can you pick vanilla when there's countless other flavors?"

"Luke likes vanilla," Rory said.

Lorelai blew a raspberry then stuck her tongue back in when she saw her husband approach. "Everyone grab theirs."

Rory reached eagerly for her cone and so did Jess. Evan already had his in his hands, chocolate on his mouth. Lorelai laughed as she took her own. Jess smiled at his girlfriend. "Always better in a cone."

"Always," she smiled back at him.

Lorelai covered her son's ears. "Does that mean something dirty?"

"Dirty!" Evan giggles despite his covered ears. Luke scowled at his wife and she held in a laugh while she tried to form an apologetic look.

"Its from the night I tutored Jess," Rory said as they made their way to a table. She noticed Lorelai's expression change and she mentally kicked herself.

Luke looked between them. "That's why you were in the car instead of the diner."

"What are you talking about?" Evan asked as he took more ice cream in his mouth.

"Something a long time ago, kid," Lorelai said and ruffled his hair.

"What?" He asked.

Rory hesitated then sighed. "Years ago, Jess and I got into a car accident. We went out for ice cream and it was night and there was something furry."

"Nothing bad happened?" Evan wondered.

"I got kicked out," Jess said.

Lorelai added, "And Rory broke her wrist."

"Hairline fracture," Rory corrected.

"Your parents got into a big fight," Jess nudged him.

"What?" He asked and now looked at his parents.

"It was barely a thing," Luke waved off.

"It was a thing," Lorelai said. "But we worked it out. Obviously."

"Eventually," Rory nodded. "Three months later."

"Hey, there'd have been no fight if there was no accident," she tease glared.

"The furry thing came out of nowhere," Jess licked the ice cream that dripped down the side of his downsizing cone.

Rory smiled at him then turned back to her mom with a nod. Lorelai glared at the couple. "You're getting more and more like him and it's scary."

"Yeah, stop that," Luke told them.

They finished their ice creams quietly and once outside, Evan grabbed one each of his parents' hands and walked in the middle of them. Rory slid her hand into Jess' and leaned close to him.

"What was that text about?" She whispered.

He shrugged. "It was just Matt telling me about plans for the new book."

Rory gasped excitedly. "And?"

"And they want to try to get it out as fast as possible," he replied.

"Thats amazing," she said and smiled brightly at him.

Jess however did not share the enthusiasm. "I didn't even find an editor yet."

"Do you need one?" She asked. "I mean, you're a pretty good editor yourself."

"I told them I don't need one," he sighed. "But they seem determined to make someone not me do it."

"Well, what about me?" She asked.

He looked down at her. "What about you?"

"What if I edit the book?" Rory said. "I mean, I can edit. I've read the book. It'd make perfect sense."

"You're serious?" Jess asked and she nodded. "It might be a lot of work."

"I'd be able to make it work," she told him. "And if it gets to be too much, I'll tell you. I promise."

"You really want to do that?" He tried to make sure.

"I wouldn't be saying it if I didn't mean it," she smiled.

"What are you two whispering about back there?" Lorelai asked. "Are you gonna sneak off?"

"No," Rory laughed. "I was just telling Jess that maybe I'll edit his book for him."

"Really?" Luke looked behind him at them real quick.

"I still have to talk to Matt and Chris," Jess replied. "Nothings sure yet. She only just offered."

"Well, if they want it out and don't have an editor yet, they'll have to consider it at least," Rory told him.

"Would you be able to do that?" Luke asked. "With the new job?"

"I think so," she nodded.

Lorelai snorted teasingly. "Please. We're talking about Rory."

"What does that mean?" Rory asked.

"It means if you put your mind to it, you can do your actual job, write five articles and edit his book," Lorelai answered.

Rory snuggled closer to Jess as they walked. "You put too much regard on me."

"You know its true," Luke said.

"I agree with them," Jess said. "You actually do do a lot once you put your mind to it."

"Me too," Evan said.

"Even you?" She asked her little brother.

He nodded but didn't turn around. "I go with whatever Mommy says."

Lorelai grinned triumphantly. "See?"

"God help us all," Luke muttered but with a smile on his face.

...

"Why are we in a giant library?" Lorelai asked her daughter.

"Because yesterday, you picked the agenda," Rory browsed the shelves. "Today, I pick."

"You mean you and Jess pick," she pouted.

"But I still picked," she said.

"But why a library?" She asked. "Why not a bookstore where you can keep the books?"

Rory laughed and turned to her mother. "Because sometimes libraries have books I can't find in a book store. And I still do want to read them."

"You, of all people, can't find books in a book store?" Lorelai asked.

"Are you implying I'm a book nerd?" She asked.

Lorelai laughed now. "Oh no. I'm implying youre sleeping with a guy who works at a bookstore."

Her face reddened involuntarily. "I'm not sleeping with him for his bookstore."

"So you're not even tempted to do it though?" She questioned wonderingly.

"No," Rory replied. "Well...actually..."

"I knew it!" Lorelai clapped.

"Its not like that," she defended.

"Okay, tell me," her mother said.

"Jess got me a rare special edition of Howl," she whispered as if it was a huge secret.

"Okay?" Lorelai said.

Rory shook her head. "No, this is really rare, Mom. And somehow, he got me it. I have no idea how or what he did for it but he got me it."

"Okay so he definitely has connections," Lorelai replied. "Use them. Light some candles, put on some Barry White..."

"And lip sync to 'I can't get enough of your love, babe'?" Rory raised her eyebrows.

"Fine, don't do that," Lorelai said as they started walking to the next row of books. "But use the eyes on him at least if youre not gonna use -"

"Please do not finish that sentence," Rory laughed.

"I was gonna say wiles," she beamed. "Its not my fault your younger, gutter mind thinks of dirtier words."

"And here we have why Luke takes Evan instead of leaving him with us," Rory said.

"He probably thinks I'm gonna try to get him to buy me coffee, too," she muttered.

"One more month," Rory teased.

Lorelai put her hand on belly, glancing down for a moment. "Wow. It's hard to think its finally almost time."

"You're gonna be very busy soon," her daughter grabbed a book off the shelf, looked through the pages then put it back.

"I know," she grinned. "I'm not looking forward to no sleep part of it but I am looking forward to meeting the little one."

"Still don't know the sex?" Rory asked.

"No," she shook her head. "But we do have some names in mind."

"What names?" She asked excitedly.

"Well, Luke vetoed Lorelai," she sighed. "Said maybe I shouldn't have two daughters with the same name."

"Valid point," Rory nodded.

Lorelai ticked off her fingers. "There's Gwen, Lila, Katherine for girls. Maybe possibly Emily."

"Grandma will like that," she told her.

"Boys..." Lorelai made a thinking face. "Nathan, William after Luke's dad, Geoffrey and...Richard."

"Oh," Rory said surprised. "Grandma will really like that."

"Its a good name," Lorelai added. "Very Gilmore. And I thought it'd be nice, if its a boy, to be named after his grandfather."

"I think its perfect," Rory nodded. Her eyes shined brightly, the unshed tears stalled.

"Me, too," Lorelai nodded, her own eyes shining.

"Mommy!" A small voice called and she held a finger over her mouth. His next word was in a whisper as he ran and hugged her. "Hi, mommy."

"Hi, sweetie," Lorelai held Evan to her. "Where's Daddy and Jess?"

"Here," Luke said as the two men appeared. "He ran ahead when he saw you."

"Aww did you, bud?" She said.

"I saw a lot of skin, mommy," Evan told her.

"What? She turned to her husband.

"There was this group of people..." He stuttered.

"And?" Her eyebrow rose.

"And let's say they were less than bundled up," Jess finished for his uncle.

"Aha," Rory said.

"What were you guys talking about?" Luke asked. "It looked serious."

"Not much..." Lorelai answered. "Just, we were talking about my dad."

"Oh," her husband said.

"I miss Grandpa, Mommy," Evan looked up at her.

"I know, sweetie," she held him closer. "Me, too."

Not long after, they left the library. Rory noticed Jess had an expression on his face that she couldn't read. The five of them ended up at an art gallery. Jess apologized to everyone for taking them there but he had to talk to the artist about showing work at Truncheon.

Evan got tired and Lorelai and Luke both ended up bringing him back to the apartment. Rory was gonna go with her mom but she decided to stay with Jess despite his protests. She stood by a wall, watching as her boyfriend talked to the artist.

A smile was on her face as she watched. He looked completely at ease as he negotiated and told the guy about his place of work. Rory felt a huge amount of pride as she thought about how far he'd come.

Her mind traveled back to earlier that day in the ice cream shop. The mention of the night of the car accident brought back buried memories and thoughts. In the car, she told Jess he could be anything, he could do anything. His response was a vague 'whatever, whereever' and she hadn't liked that all too much.

But now, as she watched Jess be the professional and business owner that he now was, she was proud. He shook the guy's hand and turned, a smile on his face as he saw Rory watching. He walked right over to her and kissed her quickly. "You actually waited."

"I told you I would," she smiled back.

"You could have gone with your mom," he told her.

"Mom has Evan and Luke," Rory said. "I didn't want to abandon you."

"I'm glad you didn't," he whispered then cleared his throat, speaking louder. "As much as I like having them around, I kind of missed being alone with you."

"I know," she nodded. "And we will get time together. I'll make sure of it."

He kissed her sweetly and leaned his forehead against hers. A second later, he pulled away and took Rory's hand. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"Just come," he said and they walked out of the big room and past a door that turned out to lead to another big room. This one was empty compared to the other one.

"Okay," she laughed. "What's this?"

"This is the new Truncheon books gallery," he smiled at her.

Rory repeated his words out loud. "What are you talking about?"

"Remember the guys don't want to open another bookstore here?" She nodded. "I got to thinking, what if we showed work here?"

"So you...what, rented this place? Rory asked.

"Yep," Jess nodded. "What do you think? I'm gonna run it, that way I'll be working for Truncheon and not need to worry about going back and forth. It'll be like a new branch."

"I love it," she said and hugged him tightly. "I think its the best idea."

"Youre only saying that because it gives me an excuse not to travel back and forth," he hugged her back.

"Maybe," she mumbled.

"Ror?" He asked quietly. "I've been meaning to ask you something ever since we left that library."

"Oh?" She wondered and pulled out of the hug.

"Do you remember when we went to dinner with your grandmother and she mentioned I sent her flowers?" There was another nod and he continued. "You didn't say anything."

"I was surprised," she shrugged. "I didn't think you would send my grandmother or my mother flowers."

"No, I mean you didn't say anything about what I sent you," Jess clarified.

"What?" She asked. "What did you send me?"

"You mean you didn't get anything from me after your grandfather passed away?" He asked.

Rory shook her head. "No. Did you send it to the right place?"

"I triple-checked the address, Rory," he replied.

"Oh," she made a face. "I didn't get anything. Unless...shit."

"What?" He asked. Now Jess was the curious one.

"Logan," she shuffled her feet as she said her ex-husband's name.

"You think he did something?" He asked, ready to answer his own question.

She nodded and but her lip. "I bet he saw it from you and threw them away. We weren't exactly doing well by then and you were definitely a sore subject."

"Gee, I wonder why," he smirked.

"Don't sound so smug," she warned. "Oh, man. I'm sorry, Jess."

"Its not your fault," he shrugged. "I just thought maybe I overstepped my bounds."

"You didn't," she said. "You couldn't."

"I am relieved to know you didn't throw them out," he smiled at her slightly.

She wrapped her arms around him again and hugged him. "You're sweet. Even when we weren't on the best of terms after...everything."

"I could say the same to you," he said and put his arms around her too. After a few moments standing there, arms wrapped in an embrace, he spoke. "What do you say we head home?"

"I say that sounds like a great idea," she smiled against his jacket.

"Come on," he repeated his earlier words and pulled out of the hug.

Jess took Rory's hand in his and they made their way out of the room. A smile grew on Rory's face as she thought of the past now. And it had grew even bigger as she thought of what exactly the future could hold.


	52. Chapter 52

"Are we seriously seeing a play?" Jess asked as they stepped out of his car and stepped out into the parking garage.

"Yes," Rory beamed and linked her arm through his.

"Its our last night," Lorelai added. "The Trekkie is a Broadway baby, remember?"

"I am not a Broadway baby," Luke defended. "Or a trekkie."

"That uniform in your closest would disagree," Lorelai added.

"There is not a uniform in the closet," Luke said.

"Mom, what's Trekkie?" Evan asked.

Lorelai snickered. "It's a fan of the tv show Star Trek. Your dad was a huge fan growing up."

Her husband groaned. "I was not a huge fan."

"Mia says differently," Rory butt in.

Jess laughed. "Please tell me she has pictures."

"How did this turn into me being a Star Trek fan from seeing a play?" Luke asked.

Lorelai gasped triumphantly. "Aha! You said you're a fan!"

"Fine, I was a fan," Luke admitted.

Lorelai looked down at her son. "With the Captain Kirk uniform."

"It wasn't the uniform," he said. "It was the shirt."

"Close enough!" Lorelai beamed.

"Again, I say I hope there's pictures," Jess said.

Luke led his wife and son forward. "Come on, let's go."

Rory snickered and moved her head closer to Jess' shoulder. He saw the building they were headed for and actually almost smiled. They were really going to a play.

...

After the play they piled into Jess' car and Lorelai requested Italian food for dinner. They found a restaurant nearby that wasn't too packed. The wait wasn't that long and they were quickly out of there.

When they got back to the apartment, Lorelai suggested a movie. Rory sat on the couch, a question on her lips. "What movie?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "What do you have?"

"Go look," Jess waved his arm. "Pick something out."

"Jess is letting me pick?" Lorelai gasped in mock-surprise. "He must have been kidnapped and replaced by some pod person. Man, that makes a lot of sense."

"I used to watch movies with the two of you," he defended.

"Yes, in high school," she nodded as she walked over to the collection of DVD's. "When you came over almost every night to make moon eyes at my daughter."

Luke shut the door behind him as Evan finally allowed him to come inside. "Who said he still doesn't?"

Rory smiled brightly while Jess made a face. "Just pick a movie."

"We're gonna watch a movie?" Evan asked while his father took his jacket off.

"We are," he told him. "You're going to bed."

He pouted. "Why?"

"Because you're five," Luke explained.

"That's not fair," he whined.

Lorelai pulled a dvd off the shelf, looked at it for a moment then put it back. "Go brush your teeth, sweetie."

"I'll help him," Jess walked to his cousin and after some reluctance, got him in the direction of the bathroom.

"Still making a mess in there?" Luke asked Rory.

She shook her head. "Not again but I think Jess is just being cautious. He said last time was pretty messy."

"Oh, my god!" Lorelai gasped as she pulled a movie out.

"What?" Luke asked, thinking she meant it to Evan.

Rory got off the couch and walked over to her mother. Lorelai showed her to dvd which made her daughter laugh. "You never told me you have your own copy."

"Because I don't," Rory said. "That's Jess'."

"What?" Lorelai asked in disbelief. "Jess? Jess Mariano?"

Rory nodded with another laugh. "Yes. Why, do you know another?"

She was still stunned. "Jess has Saturday night fever on dvd?"

"He actually watched that?" Luke asked.

"Many times," Rory smiled at the memories. Some were making out during the movie but more often than that was actually watching the movie.

"I can't believe that," the older man said.

"Believe what?" Jess asked as he and Evan walked back into the room.

"Is it about me?" Evan asked.

"No," Lorelai pointed at Jess. "Its about him."

Jess looked between the three of them. "What about me?"

"I tried to explain to her," Rory said as her mother held up the dvd.

"We're watching this," Lorelai said and Luke sighed.

"No, we're not," her husband shook his head.

She took his hand and led him toward the couch. "Yes, we are. Say good night to your son, I'll tuck him in and when I cone back out, we are watching this."

"Fine," he said and the two walked to Evan together and went into the bedroom.

Jess walked from his spot finally and went right to Rory. She started rambling as soon as he reached her. "I tried to defend you with the movie but she found it first -"

His lips on hers cut her off and after five seconds, he pulled away. "I have wanted to do that all night."

"Really?" She asked shyly.

"You have any doubts?" Jess whispered.

She smiled softly at him. "You could have kissed me. They won't care."

"Kiss you in the middle of our double date with your mom, my uncle and their son?" He raised an eyebrow.

Rory made a face in return. "Yeah, that sounds weird."

He kissed her again, this time her fingers tangled in his hair. Before it got any more intense, a throat cleared. The two of them turned around and saw Lorelai stood there with her arms crossed over her chest. "I see you don't miss us."

Rory's face turned a light pink as she moved her hands away. Jess turned as she did and stood behind her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and Lorelai couldn't deny his happy they looked. "Evan all set?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Just waiting on you two to say goodnight."

"Oh," Rory said. She almost forgot thanks to the kiss and instantly felt guilty. She moved out of his arms despite him gripping her tighter to him.

She was out of the room in a flash and Lorelai stood there, watching Jess. They're quiet for a moment than she speaks. "I don't think I've ever seen her happier."

He resists the grin that wants to come off his face and instead just nods. "You think so?"

Closing the distance between them, she speaks again when she's a few feet away and stops her steps. "I've seen Rory in serious relationships, I've seen her in flings. I've seen her have a couple dates and I've seen her married. But I don't think I've ever seen her look like she does with you."

He nodded, still rooted to the spot. "What exactly does that mean? You're in support this time?"

She chuckled in response. "I think last time I didn't know you and it clouded my judgement even when I saw her happy with you. I was always waiting for the other shoe to fall."

"And now?" Jess wondered.

"And now I've gotten to know you," Lorelai replied. "Because of Luke and Evan, even Liz. Because you've changed and you come back to Stars Hollow of your own free will now."

Jess laughed. "I guess I changed into crazy then, huh?"

Lorelai ignored the comment and continued. "Don't you dare tell Rory I said this but I've actually seen the good in you she told me about. And seeing her with you now feels right. Like somehow she was always going to end up back with you no matter what happened."

"And youre okay with that?" He couldn't help asking.

"I think I'm better than okay with that," she smiled. "Especially if you're a Travolta fan."

He smirked at her. "Just Saturday night fever."

"Eh, I'll have you watching Grease by next month," she teased.

"Why is Jess watching Grease?" Rory asked as she walked out of the bedroom.

"She thinks she'll get me to like it just because I like Saturday night fever," he told her as she walked to him and put her arm around his waist.

Rory laughed. "I tried to get him to watch it once. It was not a success."

Lorelai's face fell. "Oh, come on! Bad boy falls for the good girl, one girl defies her parent's ideas for her future to follow her own heart. Doesn't it sound like it was made for you?"

"No," he shook his head. "Because there's no way I'm gonna be singing 'Go, grease lightening'."

"I'll make you sing it," Rory whispered and her mother made a gagging noise.

"Dirty," she said when she was finished mocking.

Jess smirked and put his arm around her waist while his girlfriend changed the subject in a louder voice. "Evan's still waiting on you, by the way."

"Is Luke ever coming out?" Lorelai asked.

"I think he's trying to hide in there for now," Rory said.

Jess removed his hands from Rory's waist and kissed her quick. "Be right back."

Once he was gone, Lorelai grinned at her daughter. Rory was confused a moment. "What?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "Just, we got good ones, didn't we?"

Rory smiled widely and looked down then back up with a nod. "Yeah, we did."

...

The next morning came faster than expected. Luke packed up all of their stuff and waited for his wife as she said goodbye. Evan was already in the car, his goodbyes said.

"So this is it," Lorelai said to her daughter.

Rory nodded tearfully. "Is it immature to say this week has been great and I don't want you to go?"

Lorelai shook her head and let out a laugh. Her own eyes were wet, too. "No, not at all."

She hugged her mother as best as she could. "Call as soon as you get back to Stars Hollow."

"I'll call five minutes after we leave," she confirmed which made Rory smile.

"You ready?" Luke asked his wife as he climbed into the car as well.

She mouthed one more minute to her husband. "I love you, kid."

"Love you, mom," Rory replied.

"Come on," Jess said to his girlfriend once the two women stopped hugging. He put his arm around her waist.

Lorelai walked to the car and got into the passenger seat. She made a motion with her finger for Rory to come closer. Her daughter came willingly, Jess still holding onto her.

"One more thing," she whispered.

Rory waited. "What's that?"

"Your boyfriend doesn't snore as much as he used to," Lorelai smiled.

Rory laughed and wiped the tears off of her face. "No, he doesn't."

"Why the obsession with snoring?" Jess asked which just made the two Gilmore's laugh more. He was glad to see the crying had stopped.

"Because its fun," Rory said and kissed his cheek.

Lorelai made an aww sound while Evan had a different reaction. "Gross!"

"To you, maybe," Jess told him. "Just wait, kid."

"Hey!" Lorelai said. "No telling my kid to wait until he likes that. He's my baby boy and he's gonna stay my baby boy."

"Youre gonna mess him up, you know that?" Luke asked.

"Yes, I do," she beamed.

He started the car and waved to the younger couple. "We'll see you in a few weeks for christmas, right?"

"Yes," Rory nodded.

Jess groaned. "Can't they just come here instead of us going there?"

"Nope," Lorelai answered. "See you on what better be a white Christmas."

"Bye," Rory waved to the three of them as they finally drove out of the space. She turned to Jess once the car was gone. "I can't believe the week is over."

"Me, either," he told her and smirked. "Want to go upstairs?"

She hit him on the chest playfully. "Is that all you think about?"

"I think about sunshine and flowers and...no, wait," he smirked bigger.

"Pig," she said with a small smile.

"I'm teasing," Jess said. "You know I think of more than that."

"I do know," she nodded.

"Come on," he said and took her hand and started walking back upstairs.

She laughed. "Are you really bringing me up for that as soon as my mom is gone?"

"I'm bringing you up because my wallet is upstairs," he answered. "And because I know you. You may have eaten breakfast not too long ago but you're probably hungry so I'm taking you out for lunch."

She smiled brightly. "You do know me."

"I told you I did, didn't I?" He smirked as he looked behind at her.

Her smile faded as she thought of when he first said that in her dorm eleven years earlier and she had objected. Then her mind flipped to outside the bar, after dinner with Logan, this time she didn't object. It had been longer since they were together yet she didn't mind him stating it then.

"Hey, Jess?" She asked once inside.

He turned to her fully this time, noticing the more serious tone to her words. "Yeah?"

"You really do know me better than anyone," she said. "Probably even more than my mom."

"Okay," he said softly.

"I just..." She took a deep breath. "I just needed you to know. When you first said it, I lied and said you don't because I was still hurt. But you do."

He nodded once, unable to speak. Jess wasn't really sure of what to say back. "Okay."

"Okay," she repeated.

The two went back upstairs to their apartment and he grabbed his wallet. Rory grabbed her phone she didn't have with her and snapped a pic of him quick. It came out blurry but it was hers and after all, he had promised she could take pictures of him.

...

The next morning, Rory finds herself still thinking of his teasing smile as he said to her that he knows her best. She gets up first this morning and climbed off the bed. Instead of heading to the kitchen to make coffee, she stood there and watched him.

Jess is fast asleep on his stomach. He's not wearing a shirt and his face is on the pillow, left side up. The sheets don't cover him fully so she clearly sees his back muscles. Rory stared at her boyfriend, a smile on her lips.

Finally, she started the coffee but returned to the doorway. She leaned on the frame and smiled. He began to move once the coffee smell carried through the room. As he turned on his back, the first thing he noticed was Rory.

Jess smirked at her. "Take a picture. It'll last longer."

"Maybe I will," she grinned and grabbed her phone off of her dresser.

"Oh, no," he covered his face. "I didn't actually mean do it."

"You promised me pictures, remember?" She reminded him and snapped a picture of him still in the bed with his hands near his face but not covering it.

"If you want ones without a shirt, all you have to do is ask," he said.

Rory turned red despite herself. "But the candid shots are so much fun."

"I'm sure you'll be thinking the same thing when I do it to you," he got out of bed and stood in front of her now.

"You wouldn't dare," she replied.

"Wouldn't I?" He challenged with a raise of his eyebrow.

She searched his eyes for any sign he was kidding. When she found none, Rory gave up. "Fine. But I get pictures of you more often then."

"Fine," he nodded then kissed her quickly. "Its a deal."

Jess walked over to his own phone and held it up. He snapped a picture of Rory of his own and she stuck her tongue out at him. He laughed and taped on the screen a few times. When he was done, he held it out for her to see.

"Please tell me youre not keeping that," she said as she looked at the new photo of herself as Jess' wallpaper.

"Oh, no," he said and pulled the phone away from her. "That one's sticking."

"Then I guess I just have to..." Rory held her phone up in retaliation. Right as she clicked to take the picture, Jess held up his middle finger with a huge grin on his face. "Oh, nice."

"Didn't say I'd make it easy," he said and walked out of the room.

Rory smiled anyway and set the picture as her own wallpaper. She grinned and followed him out, instantly showing him. "Aha."

"Emily Gilmore will be so proud that's your wallpaper," he told her with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes. "Because I'm showing my grandmother a picture of my shirtless boyfriend flipping off the camera?"

He shrugged. "Hey, I don't know what you do or don't show her."

She laughed. "Silly. This is for me."

"Yeah?" He said and moved closer to her. "So's this."

He kissed her intensely and feverishly. Rory blushed but wrapped her arms around his neck, phone still in hand. It was that moment that she thought as much as she loved her mother, Luke and Evan, she was glad they were alone.

"I'm very glad we have the apartment to ourselves again," he murmered against her lips.

"I was just thinking the same thing," she said.

"Huh," Jess smirked and leaned in again.

Rory lifted herself up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He held her close as they headed back into the bedroom. Maybe the coffee would have to wait after all.


	53. Chapter 53

The phone rang loudly as Rory sat with her feet perched on the edge of the couch. She was reading an article someone asked her to check and almost didn't notice the noise. She looked up from the paper and smiled as she noticed the name.

"How goes the packing?" She asked.

"I am done," Jess sighed in relief. "Everything I need that is coming with me is packed. Everything that is moving to Truncheon is packed. It's finished."

"That's great!" Rory exclaimed. "Does that mean you're coming soon?"

"Soon," he answered and she pouted. "I just have to move it out of here and meet with some people..."

"Yeah, yeah," she laughed. "When can I see you again?"

Rory could hear his smirk on the other end. "Anxious, are we?"

"I miss you," she answered simply.

"Tomorrow," he finally answered the question.

"Tomorrow!" She said excitedly.

"It's not a promise but its looking pretty good," he told her.

"Oh my god," she smiled. Rory couldn't help the beam that spread across her face as she imagined seeing him again in twenty-four hours.

It had been a week since Jess had left for Philadelphia. He left two days after Lorelai, Luke and Evan had gone to clear put the apartment. Ever since, he'd been back and forth from talking to Matt and Chris about one of them taking it and packing.

"Matt and Chris also told me they sent you back a new copy of my book," he casually added.

She gasped. "Does that mean - ?"

"Yep," she heard the smile in his voice.

"I'm your editor?" Rory sat up straight on the couch."I get to edit your new book?"

"That's what they tell me," Jess told her, smile still in place. "They want to get the book out already so honestly, I think they were willing for anyone who wasn't me."

"But they picked me," she said.

"You're the only one who offered," he pointed out.

Rory laughed. "I'll take it."

"You better," he said. "I'll never hear the end of it if even my girlfriend quits on me."

"I won't, I promise," she replied. "Jess...this is amazing."

"Its just a book," he said as if it were nothing.

"Its not just a book," she refused to let him let it slide. "Its your fourth book - novel. Jess, I'm so proud of you."

"I had you to inspire it," he half-whispered then rose his voice. "You...you were always there for me, supporting me being more."

"And look what happened," she teased.

"I know and really, Ror, thanks," Jess admitted.

"You don't have to thank me," she told him. "I didn't actually do anything. I just didn't give up on you."

He let out a small laugh on the other side of the phone. "Then thanks for that."

"You're welcome," she smiled. "I'm wondering something though. Why send me a new copy?"

"I may have told them you probably don't want to write and cross out on the first printed copy," Jess confessed.

"I didn't even think of that," she gasped. "You're right, I wouldn't want to! I actually plan on framinig that copy."

"No framing," he scolded.

"Mean," she pouted.

"And no pouting," he said. "I can almost hear the lower lip come out."

Rory stopped her pout and sighed. "I really don't understand how you can know what I'm doing over the phone."

"There's always something else we can do on the phone," he mused.

"Like what?" She thought for a moment then it clicked. "Oh, no. We're not."

"Could be fun," he teased.

"How about this?" She countered. "Work harder then get your ass back here for the real thing."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied dutifully. After a few seconds of silence, he broke it. "So what are you wearing?"

"Gutter mind," she accused then answered. "Tank top and sweatpants. Commando, though."

"Fuck," he said in a throaty voice.

"Oh my gosh, my mom is calling me!" She lied and smirked at her own teasing. "Got to go!"

"Rory!" He said as she laughed. "I'll be there tomorrow."

"Good," she nodded. "See you tomorrow."

Now she really heard the smile in his voice. "See you tomorrow."

...

The next day Rory came home early from work. There was still no sign of Jess yet so she decided to relax before she let any negative thoughts kick in. She ran warm water for a bath and grabbed The Subsect.

When the tub was filled, she climbed in and closed her eyes. It had seemed like a long day. The only reason she left early was she worked ten times harder while she was there. The big bosses had allowed her to leave early because they'd definitely beat a deadline.

Rory opened her eyes and sighed. She was exhausted and she missed her boyfriend. She grabbed the book off the sink and with now dry hands, careful of the old book, she flipped through the pages. Settling on chapter ten, she started to read one of her favorite passages.

She wasn't sure how long exactly she'd been in the tub when she heard the front door open. Quickly, Rory half-jumped pit of the tub and put her book back on the sink. She dried herself as fast as possible and threw a robe on and walked out into the apartment.

Jess stood at the front door with a grin on his face as soon as he saw her. She couldn't help the return grin that appeared on her face. There was at least two bags, one over his shoulder and one he held in his hand. Instantly, they were thrown down and she jumped right into his arms.

"I missed you," Rory muffled into his jacket.

His arms came around her to hold her into place. "I missed you, too."

"I was worried you wouldn't be here today after all," she said when she pulled her face away.

Jess pushed the stray pieces of hair from her bun behind her ear. "I told you I would be."

"I know," she said. "But I just...I really wanted you back home."

"Me, too," he said and closed the gap between the two of them as he brought his lips to hers.

Rory made a small moan as his tongue entered her mouth and she gripped his hair tighter. He smiled as best as he could against her lips at the sound. He'd never stop loving that she made that sound for him.

They stood there for what seemed like hours just kissing. It was deep kissing but not more than that. Jess brought his hands to Rory's hair and pulled himself apart to smile at her. "I like this greeting."

"There's plenty more where that came from," she nudged him playfully.

"Oh, I know," he smirked and looked down at her.

Rory turned a deep red as she remembered she was technically naked, underneath the robe that is. "I was taking a bath."

"You mean this wasn't for me?" He teased.

"Its always for you," she replied and Jess once again kissed her.

He held her tight against him as they stood there. Rory made another sound and this time, he reacted differently. Jess broke the kiss and lifted her up as he carried her to the couch.

His own sounds escaped despite efforts not to. She smiled now, her thoughts mirroring that she liked she could do the same for him. Rory wrapped her legs around his waist, her robe riding up which made Jess put his hand on her and she gasped.

A smirk enveloped over Jess' as they each broke out of the kiss. She tried her best to mirror his smirk and moved her hand to his belt. "Two can play this."

"You can try," his whisper sent shivers all through her. "I have a head start, though."

"That's not fair," she tried to pout but his hands were moving and she cried out a sound then bit her lip to keep quiet.

His mouth hovered over hers as he spoke. "Sounds fair to me."

"Jess," she moaned out and her legs came completely untangled from around him.

"Hmm?" He said as she closed her eyes.

She made another gasp and gripped the pillow beneath her. "Don't stop."

"Wasn't planning on it," he replied and continued his work.

Minutes later, Rory pulled her robe down and tried to control her breathing. Her heart was pounding and Jess sat beside her, smirk still on his face, still also fully dressed.

"I liked that welcome," he told her as he put his arm around her and she leaned her head on him.

Rory blushed scarlet red. "That was so not the way I planned on welcoming you home."

"We can still do your way," he teased lightly. "Though not much can top watching you -"

"Shush," she put her head down. No matter how old she got, she felt like she'd never be able to talk about sex and orgasms as freely as others could.

"I forget how shy you can be," he nudged her. "I'm a little surprised, though. You know that saying - it's always the quiet ones?"

"You just like making me blush," she said automatically.

"Damn right," he kissed her quick.

"Come on," she stood up and held her hands out for him.

Jess looked at her confused. "Come on what?"

"We are doing at least one of the things I planned," Rory said.

He smirked that wonderful lopsided grin at her. "You mean you didn't plan on that?"

"Not that exactly," she laughed. "I think I had some lead up planned, too."

"What are we doing?" Jess stood up too and took her hand.

"You are going into the bathroom for me and making the water go down in the tub," she answered with another laugh.

His eyebrow raised. "And what will you be doing as I do this?"

"Getting dressed," she replied obviously.

"Why?" He asked.

"We're going out to dinner," she explained.

"Can't we stay here and you stay dressed like that?" He countered.

Rory laughed once again and shook her head. "No, sorry. Maybe I'd have considered it if we didn't get completely sidetracked first so come on."

"Wait," he said and she stopped pulling on his hand. "First, I have something for you."

Jess let go of her hand and walked over to his bags. Rory followed behind curiously as he searched through one of them and within seconds, pulled out a thick envelope and handed it to her. "What's this?"

"I told you Matt and Chris were sending you a new copy, didn't I?" He smiled as she pulled it out and saw it was the new novel.

Rory beamed with happiness. "So I'm officially your editor?"

"Yep," Jess nodded. "Don't worry, I won't take it personal when you want to change any of it."

"I doubt I'll want to change that much," she finally looked back up at him.

She continued to flip through the pages, thinking of all the words she already loved. He watched her curiously and silently happy with himself that she really loved the book. Even more than that, he was happy she loved him. "You still want to go to dinner?"

"In a minute," she said.

Jess laughed and kissed her on the side of the head. He walked to the bathroom and did his chore as told. When he came back out, Rory still stood there looking at the pages in her hand. "Ror?"

She looked up. "Right. Dinner. I'll be right back."

She kissed him quick and smiled back at him as she turned around. "Thanks, Jess."

"For what?" He wondered.

Rory held up the envelope. "For letting me do this. Most people wouldn't want their girlfriends reading it, let alone editing it."

Jess shrugged. "Its no big deal."

"Yes, it is," she smiled again and turned into the bedroom.

...

It has been days since Jess had returned home. Since then, Matt and Chris had come down and brought the remaining of his stuff for the apartment. There wasn't much besides clothes and books. The rest that was kept was going into his old room at Truncheon.

During that time, Matt had met Marissa, Rory's friend from the campaign. They were all having dinner one night and both guys both now were single so they had no objections to meeting someone new. Before they left, Chris told Jess about Matt not returning to the hotel after dinner. That was how they knew.

It was nearing close to Christmas now and Rory still hadn't figured out the right gift for Jess. She had the day off, another editor was in today so she used the opportunity to slip away to look for something.

Rory found an old bookstore with an upstairs and searched up and down the aisles. What could you get for the guy who not only had almost all the books he could possibly want but worked in a bookstore as well? Nothing seemed right and she was growing frustrated.

Sighing, she pulled out her phone. Rory felt guilty for only calling in need of advice but she wasn't sure what else to do. She searched her contacts for the familiar number and heard the ring on the other side.

"Hello?" An almost annoyed voice said.

Rory took a deep breath. "Hey, Paris."

"Rory?" Paris asked. "I didn't know it was you."

"I guessed from your tone you might not have," Rory joked.

"What's going on?" She asked curiously. "You and the boyfriend having trouble again?"

"No, we're good," she couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face.

To be honest, Rory had almost forgotten that during her and Jess' time apart, she had told Paris. It was easy for her to forget things that happened then. She wasn't proud of it or what she had said to help make it happen either.

"You are?" She asked and Rory replied a yes. "Well, that's good. Because you two have done the on-off thing, though more off than on, really. But its about time you pick an official decision."

"We have," she smiled bigger. "We're actually officially living together now. He sold his place in Philadelphia."

"Wow," Paris replied, impressed. "So its like really serious."

Rory nodded. "I'd say so. We've been together five months."

"Has it been that long already?" Paris whistled. "I remember a certain phone call months ago where you said you went to visit him."

"Right, that," she remembered her trip to Philly in the summer after they kissed outside of Luke's. "That seems so long ago."

"You never call without a reason," she remarked.

"Sometimes I do," she defended but instantly felt guilty. With her work and Paris taking over the world along with having a family, it was hard to stay in better contact these past years.

Paris grew impatient. "Maybe I'll come visit your little town on Christmas. I did come on Thanksgiving after all."

"That's be really nice," she agreed. "We could catch up. Away from family and significant others."

She imagined a smile on her friend's face despite her usual scowl. "That does sound pretty nice."

"Actually, I'd like to invite you to Hartford on Christmas eve if you'd like to come, that is," Rory said.

"Hartford?" Paris wondered.

"To my grandma's," she corrected. "My grandparents always had a Christmas party and this is the first year my grandmother is doing one again after...after losing grandpa."

Paris is quiet for a moment, remembering how Rory was after Richard's death. She remembered being there for her days upon days and helping her through the funeral. "Emily wants me to come?"

"She loves you," Rory answered. She wasn't sure of who her grandmother wanted to come but she figured she wouldn't mind seeing Paris.

"Well, okay," she said. "If Emily doesn't mind..."

"But only because of Emily?" Rory asked.

"You're cocky for a best friend who needs to visit," Paris accused.

"I know," Rory shook her head. "And I will. I promise."

"I'll come," she confirmed. "But that's not the whole reason you called, is it?"

"No, not exactly," she shifted her feet. "I need a present for Jess. And what do you get the guy who can get every book in the world?"

"I'll have to think about it," she replied. "But maybe you don't get him a book after all."

"What do you mean?" She scrunched her face. "Jess isn't really a worldly possessions kind of guy."

"Yeah but he's a guy nonetheless," she pointed out. "Your guy. Maybe get him something else."

She pouted. "I'm not really sure what to get him."

"Oh, please, Gilmore," Paris sighed. "You've been in love with the guy for god knows how long and you don't know what to get him?"

She blew out a breath as she thought. "I guess I never really thought of getting him something else."

Rory roamed the aisles in the store, catching sight of many titles she knew Jess had in his collection already. She spotted Franny and Zoey and smiled as she thought of his margin notes in her old copy. She wondered where that copy had ended up.

"Paris, I have to ask you something," Rory bit her lip and stopped her walk.

"Ask away," she offered.

"Do you remember back in senior year of college when you hid my books in the library?" She asked.

Paris' tone seemed confused when she next spoke. "Yeah, why?"

"You said my copies had some idiot's writings in the margins," she added.

Paris laughed a very Paris-like laugh. "Oh, right. I remember reading some of them. You know, its kind of funny because when I read it sounded a lot like...oh."

"Yeah," Rory only said.

"Those were Jess' notes?" Paris asked. "He was the idiot who wrote in the classics?"

She nodded. "He used to borrow my books and comment on stuff in them. His thoughts on scenes, his interpretation of this and that. Sometimes, he wrote me little notes, too but that was only after we started dating."

"No wonder I saw some sappy stuff in there," Paris mused.

"What sappy stuff?" Rory got defensive. She didn't remember Jess writing antring sappy in them.

"I saw a few comments about blue eyes," she answered. "Asking if this scene or that scene was too risqué for you. I think there was something about kissing, too."

Rory reddened and ducked her head so no one in the store would see her blush. "I must not have noticed those ones."

"If I knew that's who wrote in the books, I'd never have gotten rid of them," Paris confessed.

"Thank you," she said with a sad smile. "They're long gone now, though."

"Maybe not exactly," Paris said.

"What do you mean?" She wondered out loud.

"Not too long after I got rid of them, I got a call," Paris explained. "It was the Yale library. They said they looked through the books I sent in and found a fair amount of swearing written in the margins. They didn't want to hold them so they sent me them back."

"What?" Rory half-yelled. Few customers and an employee turned to look at her.

"I actually still have them," she admitted. "I wasn't sure if I should tell you but after you insisted on looking for them, I knew I couldn't give them away either."

"Where are they?" She asked.

"Don't worry, Gilmore," she morphed into the usual Paris tone Rory knew so well. "I'll bring them when I come for the party."

"Thanks," Rory said. "You know, this has actually given me an idea for a present."

"Oh?" Paris questioned. "And what would it be?"

"You'll see," she said vaguely with a smile on her face.

 **A/N: Sorry to end it there! I actually had a different planned for the chapter end but the more I thought of, the more I really needed this Paris scene in here! The next chapter will have it, I hope, unless inspiration hits on something else because I want it to be the ending of it :)**

 **And what do you think? Sexy lit, sweet lit, and then Paris thrown in! I hope you like!**


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: Hi again! So this is actually taking place at Christmas eve eve, I skipped some time but I hope you don't mind! There's a reason for it too!**

Jess walked out of their bedroom and towards the kitchen. "When are we supposed to be in Stars Hollow?"

Rory peeked from behind the wall to look at her boyfriend. "I told mom we'd be there tonight. Tomorrow morning at latest."

"Tonight?" He groaned. "You're serious?"

She nodded. "Come on, tomorrow is Christmas eve."

"And?" He waited.

"Jess!" She laughed. "Don't tell me you forgot about my grandmother's party."

"Was trying to," he joked.

Rory moved herself into the kitchen with him. "No, you're coming with me. I'm not letting you out of it."

"Its gonna be her rich friends and the DAR people," he said.

"Yes," she agreed.

"They're not my kind of people," he pointed out.

"I know you have to be a certain kind of person to enjoy their company," she said but when she saw his eyebrow raise, she corrected herself. "Fine, a rich kind of person to enjoy their company."

"Its gonna be so boring," Jess leaned against the counter and crossed his arms.

She mirrored his movements and crossed her own arms. "Maybe. But its important to my grandma and to me. And you love me, don't you?"

"I'm seriously questioning it right now," he replied.

Rory stuck her tongue out. "You're such a jerk."

"Yeah well if I love you enough to go to a DAR party, you know me enough to accept my inner jerk," he commented.

"Who says the jerk is inner?" She challenged.

He smirked at her. "I'll go. I won't be happy about it."

"Well no one would dare ask Jess Mariano to be happy about something," she replied with a small smile.

"I can be happy," he countered. "You of all people know that."

Rory nodded with a huge smile now. "Yes, I do."

He turned to the counter and grabbed a cup, pouring coffee into it. When he was finished, he handed it to her. "So...you're packed already then?"

"Almost," she sniffed the sweet coffee smell then took a drink of it.

"What does almost mean?" He wondered.

"It means I just have to grab a few more things," she shrugged vaguely.

Jess watched her suspiciously but commented no further. "Okay."

Rory wrapped her hands fully around the cup. "What about you? Did you pack anything yet?"

"Not yet," he shook his head.

"But we're leaving today!" She gasped.

"Yes, but I didn't know that," he replied. "I'll pack later."

"Later is when we're leaving," Rory explained.

"I don't need to pack that much," he shrugged.

"Fine," she out the coffee cup down after she managed to finish the whole thing during the conversation. "But if you forget anything..."

Jess smirked, "You can tell me I told you so."

"Deal," she smiled.

...

It was finally time to go and Jess stuffed the last items into his duffel bag. Rory watched him from the doorway as he looked to her triumphantly. She crossed her arms. "Why do you have to use that bag?"

"I like this bag," he replied. "It fits what I need."

"It's old and hole-y," she said.

"Lived in," he corrected.

"We should get you a new luggage," Rory commented.

"Or I could just keep using this because I don't mind," Jess grabbed the bag and walked out of the bedroom but only after kissing her cheek as he passed.

Rory followed him out into the living room. "Why won't you just get a new duffel bag then?"

"Because I don't need one," he said. "Why is it such a big deal?"

"Its not," she shuffled her feet. "But that bag is the same bag you had when you came to Stars Hollow. It's the one you had when you..."

"Oh," he whispered.

Rory nodded. "Yeah."

He dropped the bag and walked over to her. Jess rubbed his hands over her arms then finally pulled her in for a hug. "Is that why you don't like me using the bag?"

"Yes," came a muffled reply.

"I'll get a new one," he agreed instantly.

Rory rested her chin on his shoulder. "Really?"

"Yeah," he hugged her tighter and kissed the side of her head.

She nodded again and leaned out of the hug after another minute. "You ready?"

"Yeah, I'm ready," he answered.

"Good because the shopping will have to wait for now," she smiled at him despite how sad she'd been seconds earlier.

"Well, good, because I don't want to shop right now," he laughed.

Jess grabbed as many bags as he could and Rory grabbed what was left. She locked the door behind them as they piled out of the apartment building and into the night to Jess' car.

...

When they reached Stars Hollow a few hours later, Jess didn't bother going to Lorelai and Luke's house. Instead, he drove around the diner and parked his car behind it.

"Luke won't mind?" Rory asked.

"Nah," he shook his head and gave her a smirk. "If anything, he'll just suggest we park at your mom's."

She nodded in agreement and opened her door. Jess was out before her and grabbed their bags. He left a couple for her to pick up because she had been very admanent about not letting him carry all the bags.

The bell chimed above the door. Jess whispered to Rory, "Does this feel like déjà vu?"

"Of course," she replied. "That's the fun part."

"Rory!" A small voice called.

Evan ran to his sister and hugged her as tight as he could. She smiled brightly down at him and leaned down, letting the bags drop and hugged him back. "Hey, baby brother."

Luke walked out of the kitchen and smiled instantly when he saw who entered. Quickly, he tried to hide the smile but both Rory and Jess and the diner patrons had caught him. "You're early."

"I told Mom we'd be here," she said then looked around. "Where is Mom by the way?"

Evan pulled on her sleeve. "She's with auntie Sookie."

"They're at the inn," Luke explained.

"Ah," she smiled. "That makes sense."

"Apparently its been crazy there," the older man went on.

"Speaking of crazy," Jess interrupted. "So is the weight of these bags. I'm gonna go bring them up, okay?"

"Okay," she kissed him quick.

"I wanna come!" Evan exclaimed.

"Then come on, buddy," Jess instructed. "Grab a bag."

Rory handed him the lightest bag they have and watched as her boyfriend and brother walked up the stairs. She moved to sit at the counter. "Burger and fries, please."

"Like you even need to ask," he winked. "Coffee while you wait?"

She smirked a smirk that could rival Jess. "Oh, like you even need to ask."

He headed out to the kitchen and came back after he told caeser of their new arrivals and handed her a cup of coffee. "How's New York?"

"New York is good," she nodded. "Busy. But we finally got the last of Jess' stuff in the apartment."

"Oh, you did?" He wondered. "He told me he'd let me know when you did that. I offered to help."

"You had just left with mom," she waved it off. "Besides, he had to go down to Philly. It made sense Matt and Chris came back with him and helped."

"Maybe," he grunted out.

Rory looked over at the curtain that led to the upstairs apartment then back to her stepfather. "Hey, Luke?"

"Yeah?" He replied.

"What's my mom doing at the inn anyway?" She wondered. "I thought she said since was month eight, she would take it easy."

"To her being at the inn is taking it easy," he half-smiled. "She was going a little crazier than usual not going, anyway."

"Oh," she said. Rory thought Lorelai would love to spend time at home and have Luke and Evan wait on her hand and foot.

Jess and Evan walked down the stairs and both sat to the left of Rory. There was no empty seats to her right and she smiled at them and their return. "I think he wants to stay upstairs with us."

Rory laughed. "Oh, bud, you have to stay with Mom, remember?"

"But I want a sleepover up there!" He pointed above him.

"Lorelai won't like it if she doesn't have him home for Christmas morning," Jess said.

"Yeah, there's that and you know...the other thing," Rory sighed dramatically.

Evan looked between the two of them as Luke smirked at their teasing. "What other thing?"

"You know," Jess nudged him. "That other thing."

"What? What?" He asked impatiently now.

"That Santa won't be able to find you," Rory explained. "If youre not at your own house for all the nights a week before Christmas, Santa can't find your address."

"What?" He asked shocked. "Dad!"

"I'm afraid they're right," Luke added.

Jess kept his mouth tight lipped to not do his usual smirk. "See, kiddo? After Christmas, though, we're gonna go all out. Make a big sleepover."

Evan made an excited face but before expressing his excitement, he turned to Rory. "Can we?"

She made her most serious face. "Well, you know, if Jess says we can..."

"Yes!" He cheered and hugged her.

Luke smiled at them once again, even Jess did and both were distracted by a call of an order being up. Rory's to be exact. Jess ordered his own food after he made a playful glare at Rory for not getting him any food.

...

"What time do we have to be at your grandmother's?" Jess asked as he fixed his tie in the mirror.

"Six-thirty," she said from inside the bathroom.

"But the party's at seven," he frowned. The tie just didn't want to tie, it seemed. "Your grandmother does everything at seven."

"She still is," Rory said. "Just we're special. We're coming early."

Jess sighed. "Do I really have to wear a tie?"

She walked out of the bathroom and over to her boyfriend with a laugh. "Yes, you do. Here. Let me help."

He let Rory's hands replace his and get to work on the tie. He smiled softly at her as he watched her concentration. "You're pretty good at this."

"Well, you don't be with a Huntzberger as long as I was without mastering ties," she said as light as she could.

Before he could respond to that, she was finished and straightened it out too. "It look okay?"

"You look very handsome," Rory smiled at him then stepped backwards. "What about me?"

Jess looked at her almost floor-length dress. It wasn't too loose but it wasn't tight at all, it went down to just above her ankles. And his favorite part was that it was a baby blue and made Rory's eyes stand out. "You look gorgeous."

Her cheeks reddened. "Thank you."

"Should we head down?" He asked as he noticed the time.

"Oh yeah," she looked at the clock, too. "Mom, Luke and Evan should be downstairs by now."

"Isn't Luke worried about losing business closing on Christmas eve?" Jess wondered as they left the apartment.

Rory snatched her purse quickly at its place by the door and shut it behind her. "I don't think so. I think he's more worried about my mom if she doesn't get any apple tarts tonight."

"Smart man," he nodded.

As expected, the three figures who waited in the diner were Luke, Lorelai and Evan. Rory thought Evan looked adorable in his tiny suit and she could see Luke was itching to be in normal clothes. Another way he related to Jess, she thought.

"Sweets, you look beautiful," Lorelai smiled hugely and hugged her daughter.

"You think?" She asked modestly.

"Of course," her mother replied.

"You do," Luke told her and hugged her himself. When she pulled out of the hug, he asked, "We all set to go?"

"Yep," Rory nodded. "All ready."

"Let's go before the wrath of Emily Gilmore sets in," Lorelai joked but they all knew it was true at the same time.

They took two separate cars to Hartford. Instead of taking their right cars however, Jess and Rory found themselves in Luke's truck while Lorelai and Luke drove with Evan in Jess' car.

It seemed like a weird arrangement but they thought it made sense the parents ride together with Evan though they didn't all fit into the truck. It also didn't seem like a good idea to all squeeze into Jess' car for the ride down.

When they approached the house, Jess slowed down behind his uncle and sighed. "Do we really have to go inside?"

"Yes," Rory squeezed his hand for comfort. "Please, Jess. I know that when we had...that break, she wasn't exactly a fan of you..."

"Or ever, you mean?" He smirked. "We all know your grandmother has hated me since the first time she heard my name."

"Maybe," she agreed. "But she also did like you somewhat."

"Because we weren't together, probably," Jess butt in.

She almost laughed laughed at the accuracy of his words. "Also possible. But Jess, I love you and I'm sure if we give her enough time to see how happy you make me and how much I love you, she'll come around."

"She still hasn't come around to Luke fully," Jess countered.

"I didn't say how much time is enough," she smirked almost and kissed him quick.

They all climbed out of each car and went up to the door. Lorelai decided to be the brave one and knocked first. A shy looking maid opened the door slowly. "Yes?"

"We're here for the party," Lorelai said brightly.

"The party hasn't started," the maid replied.

"Ah, yes," Lorelai went on. "But we were instructed to come a half hour early."

"Um..." The maid fidgeted and looked inside the house. "I don't know if I'm suppose to let anyone in yet."

As if on cue, Emily's voice came through. "Imogen, why are you standing there with the door wide open? Are you trying to catch the outside chill?"

She stopped when she noticed who stood outside the door and her expression turned much peppier. "Hi, Mom."

Everyone exhanged greetings and the five of them stepped inside the grand house. The maid - Imogen - took their coats and scurried off.

Emily directed them to the living room which was now filled with waiters and workers. They noticed how decorated the house was for Christmas and Lorelai snickered at the candles still being the same inches apart.

They caught up while they waited for seven to come. Emily remarked how glowing Lorelai looked which led to another showing of the latest sonogram. She said no comments to Jess. In fact, she barely acknowledged his presence at all. He was more than fine with that.

Seven pm finally rolled around and guests started appearing. Rory was pleasantly surprised to see Paris and Doyle trail in with their kids not too far behind. They were among the first guests there. Emily was also pleasantly surprised to see Paris there, despite Rory being so unsure.

Familiar faces came through - Rory noticed an old face in Tristan DuGray alongside a raven haired women she assumed to be his wife. Jess had excused himself for a moment so she chose to go up to him.

"Tristan?" Rory said as she approached him.

He turned around and with a small chuckle, he replied, "Mary."

"Does that nickname never die?" She asked.

"Maybe," he said. "I haven't seen you since...god, how long has it been?"

"Fourteen years," she remembered. "Geez, we got old."

"Nah we were just kids then," Tristan replied. "So how are you, Mary?"

"Good, I'm good," she nodded with a huge smile. "I live in New York City, editing for the New York Times."

"Shit," he smiled brightly back at her. "That's amazing. Congratulations."

"Thank you," Rory said. "What about you? What'd Tristan DuGray end up doing?"

"I actually work as a lawyer," he said and she almost spit out the drink she forgot she had.

"You're a lawyer?" She asked.

"Gee, don't sound so shocked," he said sarcasticly.

"I am, though," she replied. "How did that happen?"

"I messed up a lot growing up," he explained. "I guess I wanted to be there for other people who deserve a second chance."

"Wow," Rory said. "Military school did you good, huh?"

"You could say that," he grinned.

"And speaking of doing good," she pointed to the girl he had been standing with moments earlier before she had walked to him. "Who's that?"

"That would be my wife," he told her. "Met her three years ago. I knew she was the one instantly."

"That's great," she smiled and she meant it. She didn't have any hard feelings towards her old crush.

"What about you?" He asked. "I heard you got married a while back."

"Oh, uh..." She shook her head. "That didn't work out. We got divorced a couple of years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Tristan said.

"Thanks," she smiled sadly at him but it was gone in seconds. "But I'm acting dating someone now. We've known each other a little less than you and I have as a matter of a fact."

"Oh, really?" His eyebrow quirked. "He knew bag boy then?"

"He sure did," she laughed now at the old memories that had been so infuriating at the time.

"Well, I'm glad you're happy," he touched her arm lightly.

"Me too," she smiled. "That you're happy I mean."

She leaned in to hug Tristan and he hugged her back. It felt nice to get in a good place with someone she used to know. They said their goodbyes and exchanged numbers to keep in contact every so often.

When Rory walked away from Tristan, she saw why Jess had been delayed. He stood near a familiar face she hadn't expected to see tonight. She walked up to them and held her head high, prepared.

"Hello, Honor," Rory said as she reached them.

"Rory!" Honor gasped. "I was hoping to see you!"

"You were?" She asked skeptically.

"Of course!" The blond shook her head dramatically. "Emily had invited me and Josh here tonight. At first I was surprised but then I figured it'd be nice to come see you."

"It is nice to see you," Rory agreed. She had always liked Honor. "So you met Jess?"

"Fortunately," he murmered.

"I had read one of his books recently," she gushed. "Directly darkly. I had to come see him!"

"You read my boyfriend's book?" She asked.

"Boyfriend?" Honor wondered then looked between the two of them. "Wait. You two are together?"

"Very much so," Jess added though he wasn't sure she heard much at the moment.

"I didn't know that," she mused. "I guess I always assumed you and Logan would work it out and get back together."

"Not anymore," she shuffled her feet. It had definitely became her new nervous tick. "I think the years long marriage not working kind of stopped that."

"Oh," Honor said surprised. "I guess maybe I was wrong."

"We're all entitled to that at least once, right?" Rory replied and put her arm linked with Jess'. "Walk with me?"

"Yeah, sure," he agreed.

"Excuse us," she told Honor sweetly.

"Rory, wait," she said and the two of them stopped. "I wanted to tell you something. Or give you something is more accurate."

"What?" Rory asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Honor searches through her tiny purse and pulled out an envelope. "This is from Logan. For you."

"Oh," Rory could only say.

Her fingers were shaky and she couldn't move them to take the thin piece of paper. Jess stepped in for her and held the paper. "Thanks."

"I didn't read it," she justified. "Don't worry."

Rory just nodded and when they were far enough away, Jess handed her the letter. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I think," she nodded.

"Come on, let's go somewhere," he whispered to her as he sensed the change in her mood.

"Okay," she agreed.

Jess led her to her grandfather's study. It felt very weird and sad to be in this room after losing him. She looked at the picture of herself on the wall and smiled. He had really loved that picture.

"You need to talk?" He asked.

"No," she shook her head slowly. "I just don't really know how to react."

"Logan wrote you a letter," he pointed out. "That's something, for sure."

"It is," she agreed. "But what kind of something?"

"You won't know until you read it," Jess urged despite his better judgement.

"Not yet," Rory told him. "After Christmas...if there's anything in here I might regret reading right now, I don't want to know yet."

"You sure?" He asked and she nodded.

"Distract me with something," she said.

"Okay," he tried to think of topics. "Who was the blond guy I saw you hugging?"

Rory laughed and it sounded like relief to Jess' ears. "That was Tristan. We went to Chilton together."

"Huh," he said, not expecting to hear Chilton.

"He liked me," she explained. "Purposely drove Dean nuts."

"I think I'd like this guy," he joked. "Good taste in girls, or girl, the dislike of Dean..."

"You would like him," she grinned. "Maybe one day I'll introduce you."

"We'll trade stories of torturing the old boyfriend," he smirked.

She laughed. "Thank you."

"Anytime," he said and kissed the top of her head.

"Let's go back out there," she said and found her mother right away. Jess split off and ended up in a conversation with Paris.

About a half hour after they escaped into the study, something happened. It was small at first but Rory watched her mother's face change.

"Mom?" She asked. "You okay?"

"I don't think so," she shook her head. "I think...I think my water broke."

 **A/N: Please don't hate me for a cliffhanger! Next chapter will be up as soon as possible!**


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N: HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!**

"Oh my god."

Rory frantically looked around her in search of Luke. She couldn't see him but she did see Jess caught in an obvious debate with Paris. She'd have asked where Doyle and the kids were if she wasn't so worried.

"Where's Luke?" Lorelai asked.

"I don't know," Rory winced. He had to be around somewhere. "Jess!"

His head whipped in his girlfriend's direction and as soon as he saw her face, his own fell. She was sure the worry was etched all over hers in that moment. Jess and Paris both were at her side in an instant. "What's wrong?"

"Mom," Rory said.

"My water broke," Lorelai told them.

Jess looked around just as she had. "Where's Luke?"

"We don't know," the older woman explained as she looked at her feet. "We got to move from here."

"When are you due?" Paris asked.

"Next month," Lorelai said. "This is early. Oh my god."

"Come on," Jess helped Lorelai on one side with Rory on the other. Paris followed aside him. "Let's get you to my car."

Lorelai shook her head. "Not without Luke."

"I'll find Luke," he said. "I'll tell your mom to watch Evan and stay here, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay."

Jess handed Rory his keys and raced back off into the house. Paris took his place and helped get lorelai to the car. "If he's not back in five minutes, I'm driving us to the hospital."

"He'll be back," Rory said.

"I'm not helping deliver a baby in his car's backseat," Paris insisted.

"And you won't," Rory said as they got her mother into the backseat.

Lorelai sat in the backseat and Rory climbed in beside her and held onto her hand. "Its too early. We were supposed to have another month."

"It'll be okay," she told her mother. "Just take deep breaths. Try not to worry."

"I'm already worrying," she tried to joke.

Luke rushed out of the exquisite house and went right to where he had parked his nephew's car. "Are you okay?"

"I may be pushing a human out of me soon so I'm peachy," she attempted another joke.

"She's using her humor to lessen her worries," Rory explained then noticed Luke has been alone. "Where's Jess?"

"Inside," Luke said as he walked around to the driver's seat. Paris slipped her phone away into her purse and climbed into the passenger side. "He's staying with Evan."

"But I thought he said Mom would -" Lorelai was cut off at the sight of her mother walking out of the house. "Please don't tell me what I'm thinking is true."

Emily climbed into the car on the other side of Lorelai, surprising everyone. "What are you waiting for? Let's go."

Luke didn't hesitate for further directions and pulled out of the driveway. The three of them were squeezed into the backseat but they didn't care. Everyone focused on Lorelai as she tried to breath and not panic.

"Grandma, what about the party?" Rory asked curiously.

"That boyfriend of yours is telling everyone the party is over," Emily replied. "He's taking care of the catering party as well."

"You trust Jess to be in charge of your house?" Lorelai asked. The shock definitely distracted her from the worry.

Emily half-rolled her eyes. "Well, I wasn't going to sit home and entertain a whole party while my only daughter is in the hospital delivering my grandchild, was I?"

"I don't know," Lorelai smiled. "Would you?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake," Emily said.

"Paris, call the doctor," Rory handed her mother's cell phone to her friend. "Tell him mom is in labor and we're coming."

"Why me?" She questioned from the passenger seat.

Rory held her hand out as far as she could. "Because you can talk to doctors."

Paris took the phone and pressed to call the name Rory had made sure to leave on the screen. "Fine."

The four of them were quiet as they listened to her speak to Lorelai's doctor. They waited patiently and when she finished, she handed the phone back to Rory. "He was off schedule tonight but he's coming in to help."

"Thank you, Paris," Rory smiled and took the phone back.

She nodded with a smile of her own. "No problem, Gilmore."

...

Lorelai had been brought right in as the doctors conformed despite being eight months pregnant, she was in fact in labor. Rory paced around the waiting area impatiently. Luke had went in with her and Emily had insisted she go in as well.

It surprised everyone as much as Emily Gilmore sitting in the backseat of a car. On any other night, Lorelai would have cracked a joke about that but tonight tensions were high as they awaited Christmas in a hospital.

Rory had called Jess when they arrived at the hospital. He told her to inform her grandmother everyone from the party was gone and he even tipped the caterers. He also made note to tell her Tristan said best wishes.

After two hours, she got restless. Her mother was 32 weeks pregnant. Four weeks early. She knew math. She could look it up to see the chances. Rory wasn't sure how much she trusted them while she worried so much.

Her new baby sibling had much better chance than babies born prematurely at 28 weeks or sooner. But there was still a 2% chance this particular child wouldn't make it. There was few moments in Rory Gilmore's life where she admitted she was scared and this was one of them.

"Will you sit down?" Paris asked. "You're driving me crazy with that incessant pacing."

"I need something to do," Rory bit her nails. "I can't just sit down."

"Do it anyway," she insisted. "You're not helping anything by doing that."

Rory slumped onto the seat beside Paris, thankful they were alone in the waiting area. To be honest, the hospital was not as busy as it usually would be. That was probably more connected with it being Christmas Eve, though.

"What if something goes wrong?" Rory asked. "What if the baby doesn't make it?"

"The baby will make it," Paris reassured her.

The brunette looked at her. "How can you be sure?"

"Please," she scoffed. "You forgot who I am?"

"Right," she smiled for the first time in hours.

Paris sighed and put her hand over Rory's. "Stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Think about all the things that could go right, okay? You're not helping yourself by thinking of worst case scenarios."

"Oh, believe me," she laughed humorlessly. "I haven't even expressed the worst case scenarios yet."

"Both your mom and baby will be fine," she told her.

Rory hugged her friend. "I should know better than to doubt Paris Gellar, right?"

"Obviously," she replied.

...

Jess walked into the hospital and asked everyone in sight where the maternity ward was. He had tried calling Rory but her phone went straight to voicemail and he was worried. He drove back to Stars Hollow after everything was taken care of at the Gilmore's and left Evan with Sookie before driving back.

When he first saw her, beside Paris on these uncomfortable looking chairs, he almost felt déjà vu. Jess was brought back to a time where he arrived for Luke and Lorelai to have a child. That time, Rory had been beside Logan, not Paris. He breathed easier as he walked closer and pushed the past aside.

"Rory," he said when he reached her and touched her shoulder.

She looked up at him and jumped out of her seat, crushing herself to him. "You're here."

"I had to call your grandmother before leaving but I'm here," he tried to joke as he held Rory.

"Not that this isn't romantic and all," Paris said. "But there is another person here so maybe tone down the love bug."

The two of them pulled apart but Jess kept an arm securely around her waist. "How's your mom and the baby?"

"I don't know," she shook her head. "None of her doctors have come out to talk to us and no one else knows anything."

"I even tried talking to them and nothing came of it," Paris muttered. "Fascist bastards."

"I'm sure that just means they're helping your mom," Jess told them.

"I hope because my mind is going crazy," Rory said.

"Sit," he instructed. They sat down together and Rory leaned her head on Jess and closed her eyes. "Have you slept?"

"No," she answered. "It hasn't been that long, I think."

"It was night when you left Hartford," he said. "Try to sleep. Me and Paris will wake you up when we have news."

"Really?" She asked, eyes still closed.

He kissed her forehead. "Really."

"Okay," she snuggled her head closer and dropped her arms into her lap as she tried to fall asleep.

"She's been freaking out for hours," Paris whispered to Jess once she believed Rory was asleep.

He looked down at his girlfriend. "Is she okay?"

"I think so," she nodded. "She's tired and worried and being very Rory-like."

He smirked - he knew Rory-like well. "Telle the truth. They really told you nothing?"

"They said something vague about the baby being early but not too early to entirely worry," she sighed.

"What does that mean?" He made a face.

"That there's a chance it won't make it but an even better chance that it will," she explained.

"What side are you on?" Jess wondered.

"I'm not sure," Paris sounded annoyed at herself for not being on a side. "The hours she's in there plus that its her third child...its hard to tell."

Jess just nodded and rubbed Rory's back. He looked down at her wearing her Christmas Eve party dress and he still had his suit on but minus the tie. When he had been in Stars Hollow, he grabbed some clothes for each of them and he was glad he did. Maybe the change will make Rory more comfortable.

It wasn't that long later that a familiar looking doctor walked in their direction. Paris hit Jess on the arm, a signal to wake Rory up and stood up. He shook her slightly and she was groggy at first but woke up as she became aware of her surroundings.

"The baby is out," he told them and Rory almost fell over in a relief but she held herself up as they waited for more. "Its a girl. She's four pounds, which is normal for a newborn this early."

"Is she okay?" Rory asked. On one hand, she was relieved about her baby sister but on the other, she wondered about all the negative parts of premature labor.

The doctor nodded. "Both mother and daughter are all right. The baby is breathing on her own. We didn't know to put her on any oxygen but we are monitoring her."

"Okay," Rory nodded. Jess and Paris both stayed silent beside her as she listened.

"Since breathing is as of right now, not an issue," he continued, "she can be either breast fed or bottle fed. We've seen no need to feed her through a tube so that's another good sign."

"Is there anything we need to worry about?" Jess now spoke up and asked for her.

He nodded once. "There is just one thing. It may not be anything but children born as early as she is sometimes have behavior or learning problems. She may be slower or not be able to keep what she's taught. Again, we're not sure this will be an issue with her."

"But all in all, she's good?" Paris asked him with a stern you-better-tell-me-the-truth-or-you'll-regret-it face.

Another nod. "She's as healthy as she can be. Again, we are monitoring her and right now, the nurses are with her and her father."

"What about my mom?" Rory wondered.

"She's asleep right now," he answered. "But resting comfortably. There was no need for a c-section which is another good sign as well."

"Good," Rory nodded. "When can we see her?"

"Soon," he said. "I'll come back out when the nurses are done, all right?"

"Thank you," she nodded and held onto both Jess and Paris' hands. When the doctor was gone, she breathed out a breath she'd been holding since Lorelai told her her water broke.

"I told you she'll be fine," Paris crossed her arms but it was obvious she had been worried as well.

"You want coffee?" Jess asked. He was sure she had none since the afternoon.

"I'll get it," Rory gave him a smile.

He looked at her questionably. "You sure?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Stay here with Paris. Wait for the doctor. I'm gonna find decent coffee."

"Okay," he was surprised she didn't want to wait but didn't push.

Rory kissed him goodbye and Paris made a face but was unable to hide that she was actually happy for her friend.

Out into another hallway, Rory pulled out her phone. She searched through her contacts and looked at the number she so rarely called. It rang a few times before it picked up.

"Hello?" Christopher said on the other end.

"Hey, Dad," she said into the phone.

"Rory?" He asked sleepily. She cursed herself when she realized it was after midnight. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she nodded. "Mom went into labor."

"Oh my gosh," he said and sounded more awake now.

"The baby's early," she added. "We've been here a few hours and Evan is at Sookie's rather than his parents on Christmas Eve and I just started thinking."

"About what?" He asked curiously.

"I know you'll never be a perfect dad," she sniffed, everything crashing on her. "You weren't there for my mom through the pregnancy when you should have been, married or not. You weren't there when I was born or when I first went to school."

He tried to cut her off. "I am sorry about about that, Rory -"

"I need to get this out, Dad," she interrupted him. "It always hurt me that you were there for GiGi more than you were for me. And it hurt even worse that I wasn't enough because you weren't with Mom."

"Kiddo, that's not true," Christopher said.

"Don't lie," Rory smiled to herself as another sniff broke. "I just...I want to be able to forgive you, Dad. I really do. I tried. And everytime I just got more hurt."

This time he stayed silent as she continued. That confirmed more than any other time that she was right. That Christopher wanted to be with Lorelai and the only way he'd have raised or stuck around was if they were together. It stung to officially believe it but she carried on.

"I do want you in my life, though," she finally said. "I don't know how it'll be or I can say for sure I won't feel resentful but I'd like to be able to say I talked to my dad today without it being a holiday. I want it to be an ordinary day."

"We can do that," he agreed.

"Really?" She asked. "Its not just some I'll-keep-in-touch-but-not-really thing?"

"No," he replied. "Rory, I want to get to know you the way I should have before."

"Promise me that you won't let me down," she said.

"I won't," he said.

Rory shook her head. "No, promise me. Because if I let you in this time and you do...that's it."

Christopher is quiet a moment before he replied. She almost believed he hung up when he came back. "I promise."

"Okay," she whispered.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "Do you want me to come down there?"

"No," she replied. "Jess is here and Paris and Grandma. I'll be fine."

"Jess is there?" He picked out.

She could feel annoyance come through. "Dad -"

"I'm not saying it to start anything," he backtracked. "I'm glad he's there and...I'm glad you're happy with him."

The annoyance faded and she smiled. "Thank you."

They hung up a few seconds later and Rory went in search of coffee as she had said she would.


	56. Chapter 56

**A/N: Okay this is hard to say. Either this chapter or the next one will be the last. I could write this story forever if I don't stop myself to be honest.**

 **When I first started writing this, I knew what place I wanted to get to at the ending. I wanted to get to Lorelai having her baby, especially since her pregnancy led both Rory and Jess back to Stars Hollow and set the story in motion. I wanted them to be in a good place, I didn't want to leave loose ends about them. I wanted Jess to have written a new novel and for them to talk about the past.**

 **This story has been a part of me for eight months. And now, fifty six chapters and over 190k words later, I feel like its complete. It's the story I wanted to tell and I have other stories in me that I want to tell as well for literati. So I hope in the ending of Nine Years Gone, you'll read my other stories for these two and that you'll like them as well.**

 **But I want to say thank you for everything. For reading, for reviewing, for any posting or recommendations you might have done. You all mean so much to me for taking the time to read this story and for telling me your thoughts on it. You're the greatest gift a fanfic writer or any writer can ask for. You inspired me to continue along and tell their story.**

 **And lastly, I hope the revival how's beyond our expectations. I cannot wait to see it and see new Literati scenes.**

When Rory had returned with her coffee, Jess sat on a chair with a bag. She looked at him skeptically as he held it out to her and explained to her he brought a change of clothes. Gratefully she took it from him and excused herself to the restrooms.

Jess had also changed his clothes which annoyed Paris because she was the only one still dressed for a Christmas party. Finally, she had called Doyle to not bring her home but to bring her clothes. When Rory came back, she was glad her friend had wanted to stay with her.

Now, however, the hospital was quiet. It was near 2 am by now and they'd been in the hospital for hours. The doctor had come back out, with Luke and he told them happily how he has another daughter. The look he gave Rory as he said so clearly showed that she was one of them.

Luke soon left to go back to his his newborn. He didn't want to leave her alone with Emily too long. She had probably broke hell on anyone who tried to part her from her granddaughter.

Rory's head leaned on Jess' shoulder as she slept in the chair. She had made herself as comfortable as she could and rested her eyes. He wrapped his arm around her and snuggled her closer.

Doyle came and went. He handed Paris a bag to his wife and gave her an update on how the kids are. They were with Nanny, who was at The Dragonfly along for the trip. Their tones were whispered as Rory slept and they glanced over at her and Jess to make sure they hadn't woken her.

Finally, a very familiar voice came through the hall, at 2:30 am. Jess and Paris both looked for the source of the voice and he shook Rory slightly to wake her up. She made a sound and moved closer to her boyfriend which made him smile but he shook her again anyway.

Emily found them in their chairs and looked exhausted but happy. "Lorelai is awake and the baby is with her."

"Rory," Jess shook her again and this time she woke having heard her grandmother's voice.

"Mom's awake?" She asked.

"And asking for you," Emily smiled. "Oh, you must see the child, darling. She's precious."

"What's her name?" Paris asked.

"She told me to let her tell you all altogether," the older woman said.

The three of them stood up and followed to the intended room. The walk was quiet and Emily took excited glances towards Rory. She wondered when the last time she'd seen her look like that was.

They walked into Lorelai's room. Luke stood beside her at the bed and there was a wheelable little bed. Rory wasn't sure what it was called but she'd seen them before in the maternity ward. She walked slowly over to it.

Lorelai smiled at her daughter who headed straight for her baby sister. "The doctor allowed her in here for a short period of time. He's gonna come back soon so everyone go see her."

Jess and Paris came behind Rory, Emily headed for her as well. Luke smiled at his wife. "You want to tell them or should I?"

"Is this about her name?" Rory asked.

"Yes," Lorelai smiled as they stood beside the baby. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet the newest addition to the Gilmore-Danes household, Emily Elizabeth Gilmore."

"Emily?" Rory asked, tears forming in her eyes.

Lorelai nodded, her own tears shining. "We talked about it a lot and lord knows we don't always get along, right, Mom?"

"Yes, Lorelai," Emily smiled. Her usual snark that would appear at a comment about their relationship was nowhere to be seen.

"And it really seemed to fit," she continued. "Plus, you know, she looks like an Emily."

"Yeah, she does a little bit," Jess remarked. He smiled at the baby and nudged Rory closer to him.

She smiled at the closeness. "I like it."

"Thanks, kid," Lorelai smiled brightly. She couldn't seem to stop smiling since she woke up.

"I actually have a present for you I was waiting to give you," Luke said as he pulled out a brown bag and a steel mug.

His wife gasped. "Did you bring me coffee?"

"I may have sent a messenger out for this," he looked at Paris.

"Paris?" Rory asked.

"I was wondering why it took you so long to change," Jess commented.

"It was no big deal," she waved it off.

"What's in the bag?" Emily asked.

Another gasp came from Lorelai. "There's apple tarts in here!"

"Where on earth did you get those?" Her mother asked Luke.

"Another messenger," he replied and Jess coughed.

"When?" Emily asked.

"I asked the caterers to wrap up a few and hide them where no one would guess what they are," he said.

Lorelai smiled even bigger. "I have the best family, don't I?"

Before Rory could tell her she thought so, too, the doctor walked into the room. "Sorry to break this up but I've got to bring the little one back."

"A few more minutes," Lorelai pleaded.

"I promise you can see her soon," he explained.

She pouted but agreed. "Okay."

Everyone say goodbye to little Emily Elizabeth and the doctor wheeled her out in the direction of the other babies. Paris was the first one to speak after he left. "So she's healthy?"

"Yes," Luke told her. "The doctor sent through everything with us and they've checked her nurmerous times. They're just keeping a watch on her but she's gonna be okay."

"Thank god," Rory said.

"She'll have the best care possible," Emily said. "No granddaughter of mine gets nothing but the best."

"Thank you, mom," Lorelai said with tears still in her eyes.

"Now that we've seen her, I think I should go back to the inn," Paris cut in. "I need to check in on Doyle, Nanny and the kids."

"We should probably go, too," Jess said. "Rory's been sleeping for ten minutes at a time."

"Have not," she argued though she knew he was close to the truth.

"Come on," he pulled at the bottom of her jacket. "You'll get sleep and come back in a few hours when its bright."

"Mom?" She asked.

"Go," Lorelai made a shooing motion with her hands. "Sleep."

"Okay," she nodded.

Rory said her goodbyes to her mother, grandmother and Luke. She hugged each of them and told them congratulations. Jess shook his uncle's hand and even hugged Lorelai before he left. Paris hugged each of them as well, stopping first in front of Luke because she wasn't sure.

Jess made a promise to Luke when they came back, they'd bring his truck. The older man said he didn't have to do that but he didn't mind. Emily actually came with them as they drove Paris as well.

The car ride was mostly silent. Emily sat up front as Jess drove through the night. Music was at its lowest and everyone struggled to stay awake. Jess left Emily off at her house and Rory got out of the car for another goodbye.

Next they drove down to Stars Hollow and went to the Dragonfly. Paris went in alone and waved goodbye after having hugged her best friend. Jess smirked as he turned off the road to her mother's place of business.

"What's the smirk?" Rory wondered.

"Nothing," he shrugged.

"Tell me," she urged.

"Remember you told me you and Paris kissed?" He reminded her.

Rory laughed. "Oh my god."

He laughed, too. "Thought I forgot, didn't you?"

"Was hoping," she replied.

"Nope," he shook his head and held his lips together for a laugh.

"Shush," she said as he continued to hold his mouth shut. When they were close enough to the diner, she put her hand on his arm. "Park the car and I wanna walk somewhere."

He looked at her curiously. "Okay."

Once the car was parked, Rory grabbed Jess' hand and began a quick pace. He managed to keep up with his girlfriend and even found himself surprised when he noticed they were headed to the bridge.

"We're going to the bridge?" Jess asked out loud.

"Yep," she said quickly.

"Why?" He questioned.

She smiled at him then looked ahead of herself again. "You'll see."

It wasn't long before they reached their destination. Rory let go of his hand and turned to face Jess. His eyebrow raised at her. "Okay what are we doing here?"

"It is Christmas," she started. "Christmas, Jess. And we just spent hours in a hospital. I don't know about you but I need a moment where I just break loose and have fun right now."

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea," he agreed.

"Good," she smiled. "Now strip."

"What?" He let out a small laugh.

"You heard me," she said. "Take off your clothes."

"Why?" He asked.

She pulled off her jacket then her T-shirt. "Because we are skinny dipping."

"Here?" She nodded. "In the lake of Stars Hollow?"

"That's exactly where," she started to undo her jeans. "Either you do this with me or I go in alone."

Jess practically threw off his jacket then pulled his own shirt over his head. He quickly caught up and when they were down to their underwear, Rory picked up their clothes and put it close to the trees. He didn't comment but he suspected she was just being careful.

Rory jumped into the water and he resisted a laugh. She really had went into the water naked and he shed the last of his own clothes and went in after her. A laugh escaped her lips.

"God, I needed this," she exclaimed at the cold water.

"I'm actually surprised right now," Jess said to her.

"Why?" She asked.

"Skinny dipping is frowned upon in a town such as this, isn't it?" He asked.

"I don't think there are any rules against it," she teased. "I guess no one expects anyone to do it either."

He was about to respond when water splashed at him. Jess looked over at a grinning Rory. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that."

"Am I?" She teased and swam further away.

"Get over here," he swam behind her.

Rory laughed but she let Jess catch her. She was out of breath from the laughter and the swim but she kissed him anyway. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed her body to his. Jess groaned and she smiled against his lips.

"You're a little tease, aren't you?" Jess asked when he pulled away.

She smirked. "Who says I'm teasing?"

Jess crashed his lips to hers once again and this time she groaned. Now his arms wrapped her and pulled her even closer. She felt him against her thigh and another sound made it out of her. That made him smirk this time.

"I really suggest we get out of here before I do something I swore I would never do," Rory said.

"Really?" He grinned. "What's that?"

"Have really loud sex outdoors," she whispered in his ear.

"Now youre definitely teasing," Jess said back.

She shrugged indifferently. "Maybe, maybe not."

"Come here," he said and leaned into to kiss her again.

The kiss had just deepened when it happened. Rory froze and Jess noticed as he pulled away. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" He asked.

"Ssh," she said and instructed him to swim with her.

Jess followed behind without a word as she swam as close to land as she could. Rory ducked down as much as she could in the water and he did as she did. First they heard the footsteps then they saw a flashlight.

It was a strange feeling, naked and in the water as you watched someone stroll the bridge for trespassers. Both of their eyes widened as they saw just who it was and without a word, they ducked in lower.

Taylor Doose turned to both his left and right as he searched for the source of noise he heard. He could have sworn he had laughter and conversation but as he scanned the bridge and its surroundings, he found nothing.

"I could have sworn I heard something," he said to himself.

If it was any other situation...hell, if they had been wearing anything, both of them would have found this hilarious. As of this moment, they were screwed and it was about Taylor leaving before they were caught.

He searched once more and his flashlight almost hit Rory and Jess' hiding spot. Both of them slammed their mouths shut and went under and hoped the water wouldn't show signs of them. It must not have because he sighed in defeat.

"Must be my imagination..." Taylor muttered as he turned and left the way he came.

As soon as he was far out of sight, Rory let out a breath she'd been holding and jumped out of the water. She scrambled to put her clothes back on but wasn't succeeding. Her skin was too wet to make this easy so Jess smirked in amusement as he watched from the water.

"Come on," she said. "We have to get out of here."

"You're the one who wanted to be free," he pointed out as he climbed out of the water too and picked up his own clothes.

"Yes, free," she nodded. "Not caught naked by someone in town and definitely not by Taylor."

"I'll give you that," he agreed.

When Rory was dressed, she grabbed his hand. He protested at first because his jeans were fully done and his jacket was on the bridge. But he grabbed it quickly as she ran, her hand held to his, back to the diner.

Once inside and the diner all locked up, she collapsed on the bed. Jess stood in the doorway and broke out in laughter. "That was definitely new."

"That was horrifying," she exclaimed. "What if he found us?"

"Then things would have been very awkward," he said as serious as he could.

She sat up. "Be serious. Imagine he caught us and told us to get out of the water."

"Could you imagine his face if we did?" He countered.

"Jess!" She covered her face in her hands.

"You gotta admit its funny," he walked closer to her and sat on the bed.

"Maybe later when my heart stops pounding," Rory replied.

He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her hair. "You're the one who wanted to do that."

"I don't think I was thinking straight," she said. "I forgot about town watchmen."

"And by that, you mean Taylor?" He asked.

"God, I don't know how he missed our pile of clothes but I'm so glad he did," she said.

"It was a Christmas miracle," he said in a voice that almost could pass for Scrooge.

She nudged him. "Shut up."

"We're inside now, its funny," he nudged her back.

"I'll laugh later," Rory said.

Jess stood up. "I got an idea, too."

"What's that?" She eyed him skeptically.

"Let's take a shower," he answered. "We've been at the hospital all night and its now past 4 am. Let's take a shower and go to sleep and we'll be refreshed to go back then."

"Or...we could not," she said. "We could stay right here."

"You're passing on being clean?" Jess asked surprised.

"Maybe I rather be dirty," she made a face and he laughed. "Okay, that came out weird and not sexy at all."

"It was a little sexy," he grinned at her.

"Huh," she grinned back.

"You're still thinking about the lake,aren't you?" He asked as he came to kneel in front of her.

"Little bit," she replied and leaned forward to kiss him.

"Hey Ror?" He asked.

"Yes?" She opened her eyes that she had only just closed.

"When we were at the hospital," Jess began his confession. "Remember we were talking about kids not too long ago?"

She nodded. "Yes?"

"I was thinking..maybe sooner wouldn't be so bad," he admitted.

"Sooner?" Rory wondered. "How much sooner?"

"I don't know," he shook his head. "But there is something else I want to do first."

He stood up and Rory watched him walk over to the kitchen and grab something out of a drawer. She wasn't sure what he was up to but she couldn't look away either.

"What's that?" She asked when he returned.

"Well, this is a prop," he chuckled. "I kind of hoped if I ever did this that I'd have the real thing and not a stand in."

"Ever did what?" Rory asked and ignored her pounding heart.

Jess took a deep breath and kneeled again. "I'm shit at speeches. You know that. I'd be better off writing you something but this is kind of spontaneous so I didn't have time to wrote anything."

"Oh my god," she took a deep breath herself.

"I know what I want," he said. "I want you. I always have and I never even stopped. You were just always there in the back of my mind and now that I have you with me again, I don't want to ever let you go. So, Rory, I guess I'm asking if -"

"Yes," she cut him off.

"You didn't let me finish," he smirked.

She laughed and kneeled down so their heights matched. "I don't need to. Jess, I love you. We were terrible at relationships in high school but I think I always considered you as the one that got away. And this time, I'm not letting you anywhere without me."

"Good because neither am I," he said and pulled her to him.

They kissed deeply. Rory crawled herself to as close as she could get to him. His arms went around her back as the object he took from the kitchen was still I'm his fist. Their balance threw off and she fell on top of him and they both laughed.

"Now what did you take out of that drawer?" She asked curiously.

Jess pulled one of those bread ties from his fist. "Placeholder for a ring."

"Its perfect," she smiled and kissed him again.

"Hey, Rory," he whispered. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Jess," she said then gasped. "That reminds me! This is so much better than my present!"

"What's your present?" He asked.

Rory smiled. "Paris has all my old books you wrote in. I was gonna show you the notes I put in there as well as one of the Hemingway I read because you were still there in my heard telling me Ernest had lovely things to say about me."

"I like that present," he told her and she could tell he meant it.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I don't know about you but the dirty suggestion still stands," she commented.

"Oh, I have a few suggestions myself," Jess smirked as he lifted her off the ground and put her on the bed.

 **A/N: like it? I hope so! And I think there is another after this, either an epilogue or just a ending chapter. We'll see which I call it. But again, thank you ALL. I hope I did you justice as fans and gilmore girls and literati justice as well in my writing. and I hope you loved the story as much as I loved writing it!**


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N: I have been delaying writing this if I'm being honest. Its actually been in my head for a while but especially since I finished the last chapter. I'm so sad to see this story go, and who knows? Maybe one day I'll write a sequel story.**

 **I want to get to either one of two stories - the spring break au I started and I really do want to continue or this other idea that I have for literati. Its a Luke/lorelai wedding one and that hasn't been done before - that I know of - so its actually really interesting. I'd love your thoughts on which you want next.**

 **But again, THANK YOU SO MUCH for everything. You all mean so much and you are a writer's dream. I hope you stick with me with future stories as well!**

Rory slowly opened her eyes and tried to peek out the windows. She couldn't see it but she sensed it. A smile lit up her face as she rushed out of bed and opened up the curtains.

There was definitely snow outside. The streets of New York had a pile of white over it as cars drove past or people moved around the slush. Rory smiled even bigger as she looked at it come down and land without a sound.

"What are you doing?" She heard a muffled voice from behind her.

Rory turned around and saw a Jess had moved so his front was angled at her but his face was still in the pillow. "It snowed."

His head perked up from the pillow as he tried to see out of the window. "Doesn't seem like that much."

"It's still coming down," she pouted. "Come see."

"Its 7 in the morning, Ror," Jess put his head back in the pillow. "Come back to bed. If its really snowing that much, it'll be there in a couple of hours."

Rory pouted again and with one last glance out the window, she walked back to bed and climbed in. "Will you take a walk with me in it?"

"Maybe," he mumbled.

She slid into her side of the bed and was surprised when Jess had moved from the pillow and closer to her. He put his arms around her and she smiled into his shirt. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asked.

"I was cold," she snuggled closer.

"You were sitting beside the window admiring the snow," Jess pointed out.

"Yes," she replied.

Jess laughed and kissed her head. "You are crazy."

"I may be crazy but you're the one marrying me," Rory countered.

"Yes, I am," he nodded in agreement. "Which reminds me of something."

She stiffened in worry. "What's that?"

"Are you by any chance planning on telling your mom we're engaged?" Jess said in a low voice. It sounded strange to her ears, like he himself was worried.

"I am," she looked up at him to let him see the truth in her eyes.

"Its been two months," Jess said.

"I know," she said and looked down at her left hand.

A week after Christmas, Rory and Jess went back to New York. The first thing he did was go to the best jewelers and designed a ring for Rory. She winced when he told her not to worry about the cost but didn't press on the price.

He proposed all over again that night and they had spent the dark hours making love until early hours in the morning. Rory was afraid to ever take the band off but she somehow did. Her and Jess had went back to Stars Hollow a few times since December and she had put it on a necklace.

In New York again however, it rarely left her finger. At work, she flipped it around so no one would ask questions. A few of them seemed like they guessed but said nothing as they waited for her.

If Rory had to be honest, she'd say she liked it as is. It wasn't that she liked lying to her mother. And it wasn't even exactly lying really. She'd just not told her an important piece of information.

Lorelai and Luke had their hands full with baby Emily. She was a fussy baby and wasn't sleeping through the night. She woke up more frequently than both Rory and Evan had. For now it seemed like they needed their family time with the new baby.

And it wasn't even just that. It felt like she had this special secret, something that no one else but Jess knew. It was their thing and as long as she didn't tell anyone, it would stay their special thing. Rory loved the feeling of closeness she got from that.

"You fall asleep?" Jess nudged her softly.

"No," she smiled. "I was just thinking about when I tell people about us."

"What about us?" He wondered.

"When I tell my mom, Luke will know," she admitted. "And when mom and Luke know, my grandma will know and Lane will know which leads to Zach and then it will go to everyone else..."

Jess suddenly sat up and his arm moved from around her. "What's wrong with people knowing?"

"Nothing," Rory shook her head and sat up with him. "Its just...I like only us knowing."

He gave her a questioning look. "What does that mean?"

"I can't explain it," she bit her lip. "Its like our secret. Its just for you and me. But when we tell people, they're gonna be asking questions and we won't get to be alone and be just us."

"I don't understand but I guess that's part of the Gilmore charm," he smirked.

"I suck at explaining," Rory pouted.

"No," Jess touched his lips to her quickly. "I think, to you, it makes sense so I'll just agree with it."

"You're not mad?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Why would I be mad?"

"Because I haven't told anyone yet," she replied.

"Do you want me to be mad about you not telling anyone yet?" Jess countered.

"Not at all," she shook her head. "But...I don't know."

He stared right into her blue eyes. "What?"

"That's how I know this is right," Rory smiled.

"You mean my charm isn't part of it?" He smirked.

"Its you," she said. "Its everything about you."

"You're cheesy in the morning," he commented with a smile.

"Its because my brain hasn't worked up enough to not be," she said.

Jess laughed and put his arm around her again. "Let's go back to sleep. You just tell your mom when you're ready. I'm not mad."

"Okay," Rory snuggled into him. After a few seconds, she speaks again. "Jess?"

"Hmm?" He sounded like he had already fell back asleep and she almost lost her nerve.

"What if I want to go tell mom today?" She whispered.

Jess smiled against her hair. "I'd say that sounds good."

...

"Those people are insufferable," Michel said as the guests he'd just checked out walked away.

"Michel, they're not that far away," Lorelai said.

"I don't care," he retorted.

"They're paying guests," she replied. "Our salaries."

"Fine," he huffed and looked over at the door.

Lorelai watched his expression and guessed the guests he dubbed insufferable were back. "What?"

"For you," Michel said.

"Huh?" She asked and turned them gasped. "Rory! You're here!"

"I'm here!" Her daughter said and hugged her mom.

"What are you doing here?" Lorelai beamed.

"Just wanted to come see you," she smiled but it faded as she noticed Michel's expression. "Why is he making that face?"

"Ignore him," Lorelai waved it off as they walked to the common area and sat on the couch. "So...any special reason or you just miss me?"

"Would you believe me if I said both?" Rory asked.

"Ooh," she extended the word the way a kid would. "And what, pray tell, would the special reason be?"

Rory bit her lip, suddenly nervous. "Where's Emily?"

"Big Emily or little Emily?" Lorelai asked. She could tell her mom loved having another person named Emily around. If she had to guess, she'd say it reminded her of there being more than Lorelai.

"Both, actually," Rory answered.

"Big Emily is at her house, I think," Lorelai ticked off on two fingers. "Little Emily is with her father at the diner."

"So she's where Jess went," Rory said and smiled at the thought of Jess with baby Emily.

"Jess is here too?" Lorelai gasped.

"I didn't come alone," Rory laughed.

"I'd hope not!" Her mother said. "Now, tell Mommy what the special reason is or I'll go mad with curiosity."

"Jess proposed to me," she confessed.

"Oh my god," Lorelai said. "I was not expecting that."

"What were you expecting?" Rory wondered.

"I don't know," she said. "Having a baby?"

"You expected me to tell you I'm pregnant but Jess proposing is a shock?" She felt the urge to laugh.

"Give mommy a second to process," Lorelai pointed her finger at her daughter as she teased. "I never pictured Jess as the marrying type."

"Me, either," Rory shook her head once with a smile.

"So I'm guessing you said yes?" She asked. "Because if you said no, he might not have come back with you."

"I said yes," Rory smiled bigger as she pulled on a chain that was hidden by her shirt. Once it was out, Lorelai could clearly see the diamond sparkle.

"Wow," she said as she looked at it. "So he really did propose."

Rory opened the necklace and tool the ring off the chain and onto her ring finger. "Yes, he did."

"When?" Lorelai asked. "Last night?"

"No, um..." She felt her throat go dry. How could she explain she didn't tell her mother, her best friend, she'd kept her engagement from her for two months?

She noticed the silence. "What's wrong? Do you not want to marry Jess?"

"It's not that," Rory looked at her mother. Her eyes were wet. "He proposed to me...on Christmas."

"Christmas," her mother whispered.

She whispered back, "Yeah."

"And you're worried I'll be upset you didn't tell me?" She asked.

"Yes."

"I'm not."

"You're not?" Rory asked.

"No, sweets," she smiled softly. "I understand not being ready to tell people."

"You told people when you and Luke were getting married," she pointed out. "And when you and Max got engaged."

"I know," she said and wiped a wet spot from her daughter's face. "But I know what its like to not be ready to tell your mother."

Rory felt a stab at the comment. "It's not that I'm worried you'll judge or about your reaction. I just wanted to keep it between us for a little while."

"I understand that, too," she moved a stray piece of hair from Rory's face now. "Is Jess telling Luke?"

"No," she laughed. "He's waiting for me and you."

"Okay," Lorelai said and put her arm around her daughter. "What do you say you hang out here and we'll go down there together?"

"Sounds good," Rory nodded.

...

Jess sat upstairs and watched baby Emily. She'd only been home a few weeks now and he felt unprepared to take care of her. As he stared down at her, he looked at the little face and imagined what if it was his and Rory's kid? What would he do?

He'd never seen himself ever being a father. Hell, he'd never thought he'd even be a husband. But here he was, engaged and taking care of this two month old baby as he imagined his own child.

A smile appeared on his face as he thought to the future. Of all the things he never expected, nothing compared to his number one. Never had Jess expected to be with Rory again.

After what happened in Philadelphia nearly ten years ago, it seemed very much over. To Jess, it seemed more over after that visit then when he went to her dorm. Because when he went to Yale, he knew he still needed to work on his own shit.

But in Philadelphia... He was who he needed to get to. And she rejected him and chose Logan and had crushed his heart more than he cared to admit. That time at her dorm and in Truncheon killed him more than anything. His hope had vanished after that last visit.

Jess put his hand on Emily's belly and smiled. She was adorable. He shook her slightly and rocked her. It wasn't so bad to look after her after all, he thought.

His thoughts kept on their path, however. Jess thought of his uncle's wedding to Lorelai. He remembered talking to Richard and how Richard had caught him watching Rory. He remembered that conversation with Lily on the phone.

He thought of the ceremony itself. Rory had smiled at him as she walked down the aisle. The urge to smile back at her, to be like old times, was strong. But when he looked at her, all he saw was her walking out that door and he heard her words - _"I'm in love with him."_

So instead he kept a neutral face and didn't smile back.

His mind searched through everything that had led them here. The good, the bad, the really bad. Jess had believed any chance with Rory was gone long ago. He couldn't explain what happened to let the hope come back.

Maybe it was when she walked in the diner all those months ago. Maybe it was the phone call where she confessed her marriage was over.

Before his thoughts could continue on, Jess heard the doorknob turn and he looked up. In walked Luke, and behind him, Lorelai. Finally, Rory trailed in behind them and he couldn't help the smile that came at the sight of her now.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," Rory smiled back.

"Here we go again," Luke rolled his eyes but smiled.

"The Later years," Lorelai commented as she strolled over to Jess and her baby.

"Now why did we have to rush up here?" Luke asked. "Lorelai came running in, requesting she know where Jess is."

Jess smirked. "She knows?"

"She knows," Rory nodded.

"Knows what?" Luke asked the two of them and looked at his wife.

"So oblivious," she smiled affectionately. "Just the way I like him."

"Go ahead," Jess encouraged at his girlfriend turned fiancee.

Rory smiled and looked over at Luke. "Jess and I are getting married."

"What?" He asked and as to prove her words, Rory held out her left hand and showed him the ring. "Wow."

"I know," she said as she looked at her own hand then to Jess. He smiled at her.

"So Jess proposed?" He asked with his own smirk. "Can't honestly say I saw that coming."

"Neither did I," Jess added.

"Hey, mother of the bride here," Lorelai said and hugged baby Emily to her chest. "That sounds nice to say."

"It's nice to hear," Rory ducked her head shyly.

Jess watched her. He saw pride and happiness on her face. It was that moment he knew for sure he misinterpreted why she didn't tell anyone. She wasn't ashamed of anyone knowing she was marrying him. It was just the opposite, whatever that meant.

Rory seemed beyond happy - over the moon even - to be engaged to him. And he had felt the same way about her.

...

"You're getting married?" Emily gasped.

"Yes," Rory smiled at her grandmother. "To Jess."

She waited patiently for the screaming to happen, for the disapproval. Emily was quiet, thoughtful. Lorelai had told her to call to tell her the news but Rory shook her head and said she wanted to do it in person.

Emily had been there when Logan proposed at her graduation party. However, she had also loved Logan. Rory wasn't sure how she would react to this news.

"Congratulations," Emily smiled.

It was a genuine smile, too. Rory smiled back, surprised and replied, "Thank you."

"Have you thought of a date yet?" The elder Gilmore asked.

"No, not yet," Rory said. "It's still very new."

"Why, yes, of course," she agreed. "But you know a season you might like the wedding to take place?"

She frowned. She wasn't fond of a fall wedding, not after her and Logan's had been in the fall. "Maybe spring. It doesn't have to be this spring, though. It might be too soon."

"Nonsense," Emily disagreed. "It can never be soon when you love someone."

"Grandma?" Rory asked mostly out of making sure that was really Emily Gilmore and not some kind of alien look-a-like.

She looked at her granddaughter. "Yes?"

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yes, of course," she replied. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Rory thought carefully before she answered. "Because I thought you'd mad."

Emily looked scandalized. "Why on earth would I be mad? My beautiful granddaughter is getting married."

"Yes, but to Jess," she added.

"Yes, I know that," Emily said.

"And you're okay with that?" Rory asked. "Its Jess."

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "I don't know why you keep pointing out its Jess you will be marrying. I know that."

"Because its Jess," Rory was still stunned.

"I don't think you understand," she said.

She shook her head. "Not at all."

Emily smiled and began to explain. "I've learned a lot of things in my lifetime, Rory. Ever since I found out about Pennilyn Lott or what your great-grandmother thought of me, I've had a different perspective."

She sighed and continued. "When I lost your grandfather, it hit me how important it was to find someone you truly love. He was everything to me, Rory. He was everything and I lost him."

Rory sat quietly and watched the older woman's face. Emily composed her expression, aware of the emotions written all over it.

"I've seen how much you love him," she said. "I've seen how much he loves you. And he's a changed man, I've noticed. A far cry from that monosyllabic punk who came to dinner with a black eye."

Rory smiled. "He has changed."

"I'm glad to hear that," Emily smiled in return. "And I do mean it. If you are lucky enough to love someone so much, you should take the chance."

"Thank you, grandma," she said and wiped at her eyes before she moved to stand up.

"Oh, Rory, won't you stay for dinner?" She asked.

"Evan should be home right now so I was going to tell everyone else my news," she replied. "But...if you want to, you can come to Stars Hollow. Have dinner with all of us."

She looked surprised but pleasantly so. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all," she said.

...

Back in Stars Hollow, Jess had just gotten off the phone with Matt and Chris. He wasn't sure if he'd wanted to tell them right this second but then he figured it out - they were his best friends. He'd never had best friends before. It was actually a nice feeling, he thought.

Matt hadn't had the expected reaction. He'd been happy for Jess, maybe even happier than Chris was. Partly it was because he was glad to proved wrong. There was also knowing how much Jess loved Rory and he was glad to hear his friend was happy. He planned on going to Liz's later to tell her, as well.

Next he called Lily, Jimmy and Sasha. Lily screamed so loudly into the receiver he thought he'd lose his hearing. Both Jimmy and Sasha sent their congratulations and told him they expected a wedding invitation. He was surprised they would come to Connecticut but also found himself happy about this, too.

It felt like finally, after thirty two years, Jess Mariano had a real family. And it was really only beginning, too.

Stashed in a pocket of the luggage, there was an envelope sticking out. Jess looked at it curiously as he put the phone down and walked to it. He tugged on it and realized it was that letter from the party. The letter from Logan. It was still sealed, untouched.

He grabbed it and put it in his back pocket where his current reading material would usually go. Then he walked down the stairs and spotted Rory walking to the diner with...her grandmother. He smiled against his will it seemed as he saw his fiancee come into focus.

Lorelai, Luke and everyone in the room turned to see who was there at the sight of Jess' smile. They figured it'd be Rory but looked anyway. Rory smiled brightly as she walked into the diner and held the door for Emily.

"Hi, mom," Lorelai said and actually stood up to hug her mother.

Emily hugged Lorelai then Evan. He was quieter than usual which was their first suspicion. "Hello, Lorelai. Luke."

Like waved from behind the counter at his mother-in-law. "Can I get you anything, Emily?"

"How about a Cobb salad?" She asked and Lorelai snickered as she remembered the lunch they had at the diner years ago.

Almost everyone was in the diner. After they had eaten, Rory stood up and motioned for Jess to as well. Specific patrons inside - her mother, Luke, Sookie, Jackson, Gypsy, Lane, Zach, even Mrs. Kim, Miss Patty, Babette, Morey, Kirk, Lulu and Taylor - to be exact looked at them.

"We have an announcement to make," Rory cleared her throat. "I wanted to do it with all of you here and I can guess my mom ran out and got you."

They nodded in agreement as they waited. Jess stepped in front of Rory. "Rory and I are getting married."

"Oh my god!" Lane gasped and jumped out of her seat to hug her best friend.

Loud chatter filled the diner as each customer stood and went to the couple. Most hugged Rory, some attempted a handshake to Jess. Miss Patty tried to hug him but he stepped backwards and Rory laughed.

Lorelai and Luke stood on the side with their son and daughter in her bassinet. They knew the news. They let everyone else approach now.

People asked if she was pregnant. They asked when they wedding will be, if she'd begin planning. Kirk eyed her ring suspiciously. Luke was about to kick him out as he thought of buying Lorelai's ring from him years ago but resisted when his wife told him not to.

At some point, the chatter died down and just Lane and Zach sat at their table. Mrs. Kim had gone home with their three children and they eased into normal conversation. Emily sat with them and watched with happiness how content her granddaughter seemed.

Jess excused himself to get more food and Rory moved to kiss him. The kiss lingered and he smiled again as he went into the kitchen. She finally remembered her grandmother was right there and countless others watched as she blushed.

"You definitely got better at giving it a little something, honey," Babette commented.

Rory blushed wildly and Emily was confused. "What does that mean?"

"Its an old joke, Mom," Lorelai waved it off but Emily was just left mystified.

...

After everyone had left, after Rory even called Paris to tell her the news, she and Jess went upstairs to the diner apartment.

"This is kind of our place," she remarked. "I mean, we spent so much time here the first time we were together. We first slept together here, you proposed here, told me you're coming to New York..."

"I guess it is our place," he smirked and sat beside her.

She snuggled into his arm. "I want a spring wedding. It doesn't have to be this spring. I'd never plan it in time but...it just sounds really nice."

"So we'll have a spring wedding," he agreed.

"Just like that?" She asked.

"Just like that," he replied.

"I love you so much," Rory kissed him.

Jess smiled as she pulled away. It felt like the smile permanently replaced his old scowl. "I love you, too."

They sat for a few moments before he remembered the letter in his back pocket. Jess moved, Rory turned to see what he was doing and he pulled out the envelope. She bit her lip nervously. "Where was that?"

"It was sticking out of the suitcase," he handed it to her. "I think you should read it."

"I wasn't sure if I was going to," she admitted. "So I just kept it in there just in case."

"Why are you so worried?" He asked.

"I'm not sure," she said. "I'm not worried. I guess I just don't know what he would have to say."

He shrugged. "Read it or don't read it. Its up to you and I'm supporting whichever you do."

Rory nodded and stared at the paper in her hand. "I think I'm gonna read it."

She opened it carefully, as if it was fragile. Jess watched as she read the words in her mind. He watched her expressions and reactions change. He watched as minutes later, she finished and folded it back up.

He sat up straighter. "What did it say?"

Rory sniffed and that's how he finally realized she had begun to cry. "He got help. Real help, this time. And he heard about me and you."

"Oh?" He asked in an indifferent voice. He didn't want Rory know how curious he was.

"Yeah, through families," she nodded. "Honor didn't know, apparently. But he wanted me to know he was glad I moved on. That losing the baby was harder than anything he'd ever went through and he knew it had to be worse for me."

Jess nodded. He wasn't sure what to say. "And?"

"And he wished us well," Rory sniffed. "Logan said he knew there was something between us. He said maybe he had never been the one for me, that's really why it didn't work. He wishes me happiness and congratulated me about becoming editor."

"And that's it?" He wondered.

"Pretty much," she nodded. "You can read it if you'd like."

"No," he held a hand up. "Its yours. Its personal."

"I don't mind," Rory said.

"Its okay," he told her and kisses her lips softly. "I'm glad about what it said, though. Its good he got help."

"Yeah, it is," she agreed. "And, Jess, what he said about not being the one. I think I always knew he wasn't. I wanted him to be. I was always scared of me and you and now here we are..."

"Engaged," he smirked.

"Engaged," she grinned. "And it's not as scary as I'd expected."

"I hope not," he said.

"Not even a little," she promised.

"So we're getting married in spring 2017," Jess commented after she had gone silent.

"Spring 2017," she whispered with another smile. A hopeful smile.

He pulled her closer to him. "It sounds nice, doesn't it?"

"More than nice," she said.

"Who would have thunk we'd end up here?" He asked. "All these years later."

"I think there was a part of me that knew we'd always be in each other's lives," she leaned her head on him.

"But engaged?" He grinned, too. "Planning a family?"

"I didn't say I knew what capacity," Rory replied.

"Well, whatever capacity, I'm glad it happened," Jess said.

She nodded. "Me, too."

"I love you," he said again.

Rory looked up at him and smiled before she kissed him. "Always have, always will."

"Not that again," he groaned.

She laughed. "Oh, get used to it. Matt and Chris told me the book will be out soon."

"I can't believe you finished the edit," he sounded amazed.

She nudged him playfully. "I told you I could do it."

"I never doubted you," Jess replied. "I got an idea."

"What?" She asked.

"How about we make some new memories up here?" There was an evil smirk on his face that she loved.

"Sounds like a good idea," Rory sat from her position and both relaxed as their lips came together, as they would for the rest of their lives.

THE END

 **A/N: And its over! Thank you again, I hope you like this. And I hope I wrapped it up okay. I'm gonna miss this story so much and hopefully I won't have to miss you all. You seriously really rock. Thanks for being so awesome, really. Youre the best I could ask for**.


End file.
